Lich Awakens
by jomo2014
Summary: A year after the rebellion, Finn is struggling to put his life and family back together. With Ice-Queen and Huntress tied up in Wiz City, Fionna missing, and Billy emotionally out of touch, the great hero struggles with a foe that mere blades can't defeat. Yet, all of the heroes' trials pale in comparison to the horror that comes when the Lich Awakens. M for Lemons and Language.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

Finn the Human, Hero of Ooo and Captain of the Guard, wore his anguish like a coat as he came down the hall towards the main guard room of the Banana Guard Headquarters. He hardly seemed to notice the troops he led as they went about their business, and his eyes looked haunted and distant as if he were staring far ahead of him at things only he could see. He hadn't been the same since the fateful events of the Silent Rebellion. All the troops said it. Finn wasn't the man he had been. He was almost a _shell_ of his former self.

Of course if Finn was a shell, his deputy and oldest child was a ghost–a man who seemed not to be 'there' on the best days. The Lieutenant had grown remote and distant from everyone and especially from his father. He rarely spoke beyond giving orders and asking hard questions. He didn't even seem to _hear_ jokes, and he seemed even to have forgotten how to smile. But he was quick to crack down on anyone or anything that he perceived was slacking off or failing to carry his weight. Billy the Human was bad news for anybody who wished the old days would come back.

As Finn came up the hall, he met his son going the other direction. That was how their lives played out these days. Billy, as often as not, worked the graveyard shift, seeming to do his level best to avoid his father as much as he could. Finn had very nearly given up on trying to get his boy to open up. He'd tried everything, even waiting up to see his son when he came in to work. Billy had gone to his desk, put on headphones, and done his best to drown Finn out. Now, as the two men passed each other in the hall, Finn gave his son a half-hearted wave, which only caused the younger man to accelerate. With a heavy-hearted sigh, Finn went his way. He didn't know what to do, but he had little time to spend on it. There was still a great deal of work to be done.

As Finn settled in at his desk, Billy climbed into his truck and set out into the early morning mist. The weather was turning. It would be winter soon–his second without his wife. The young man pulled into traffic, bound for the city's graveyard. Moments after he'd set out, a second truck pulled into traffic behind him. This one came with dark-tinted windows and a sinister black paint-scheme. As the young hero wove his way through the early-morning rush-hour, the blacked-out vehicle did its best to stay close.

Meanwhile, hundreds of miles away, Patrick Petrikov came out of the ruined house that he shared with Fionna. His hand caressed the rough stone wall. They'd spent hours improving this place, patching the walls and putting a better roof on. It was their cozy little house, and sometimes he marveled at how far they had come in the last year or so. He'd fallen in deeper with Fi. He couldn't really help it. He'd recommitted himself to doing all he could to show his girl how much he loved her. His reward was a deep, nurturing affection that sustained them both through the rough patches.

Things weren't very rough right now. In fact, he would have said they were about perfect. They had their little house. They had plenty of money to take care of themselves. Patrick was getting better and better at wizardry and earning a nice living at that, and Fi was doing pretty damned good herself. In spite of his fears and misgivings, there was very little going wrong for them right now. Oh, they had some fights. They'd had one just the night before. They never got personal or nasty about it, not the way Patrick's parents sometimes did.

The temperature in the shadow of the ruined city was balmy for Patrick Petrikov. It was so nice here that honestly he would have considered putting down roots. Tromping his way across the soft sand of the beach, he marveled at the world around him. The salt air, the warm breezes, and the constant sun almost made him euphoric. He'd been sliding up on asking Fionna to stay. They hadn't seen so much as a peep from the Thief King's dudes in two months. Besides that, they had been making money hand-over-fist by looting the abandoned city. The town that was their base had a hunger for artifacts from the city, and Fi had a knack for finding stuff that brought in the money. When you got into the fact that some of the town fathers wanted to hire Fi for protection, it almost seemed _perfect_.

Fi was at the table that served as their counter looking for all the world like she was half-asleep. That was starting to bother him. His lady had been having trouble staying awake lately. She'd come back from one of their dungeon excursions and end up sleeping for a day. He feared their 'life-on-the-run' was taking a toll on the woman he loved. One of the reasons Patrick wanted to stay was to get her some rest. He'd been sneaking up on the idea to keep his stubborn girlfriend from arguing about it. "Hey, hon," Fi yawned. She was watching a scruffy mutant as he looked over the stuff they had for sale. Patrick leaned down and kissed her, his hands stroking her shoulders.

"Mmm, baby," sighed the pretty blonde girl. She was so much in love with her dude. "Sorry I was a butt last night," she sighed. Massaging her tense shoulders, Patrick replied, "I thought you apologized last night..." Blushing in memory–she'd given him Swedish as a way to kiss and make up–Fionna said, "yeah, honey, but my mom always said that it was important to admit when you're wrong..." Which wasn't anything like _Patrick's_ mom. Patrick kissed her again, saying, "apology accepted, baby, and thanks... You know that's my favorite..."

Interrupting their intimate moment, the scruffy mutant asked, "how much?" He was pointing at the ancient power-drill that lay on the table before Fionna. "For you? Free," replied Fionna as she coolly stabbed the Thief King's agent through the eye with the very artifact he'd pretended to admire.

The move startled Patrick, even though by now he was used to how fast Fi could move. Rising, the leggy blond whipped her sword out of her pocket just as a dozen thugs came out of the trees on their right. Patrick lit into them with spells, blasting three with one lightning bolt. Seven more came charging down the beach from the direction of town. Fionna waded into them like she was back on the football field. Parry, cut, thrust, and the first of the thugs died at her feet. The quality of the Thief King's thugs had been going steadily down as the number of men willing to throw down with Finn the Human's kid got steadily smaller. Unfortunately, as he blasted two of the latest out of their sandals, Patrick realized that they hadn't quite got to the bottom of the pile yet. They'd have to move.

"Drat," the wizard growled! "Huh," burbled Fionna, as she clove the arm off one of their opponents? "I was hoping we'd get to stay through the winter," Pat replied. Fi chuckled. Pat didn't really like the snow. Stepping between him and one of the bigger gangsters, Fionna drove the Fionna-Sword into his assailant's belly. The strange goo-man's squishy flesh captured her sword, causing it to stick fast. "Pretty cool," said Fionna, to the goo-man's chuckles. Now he tried to pulp her with his massive fists. Fionna let go the sword and dodged out of his way. Issuing silent commands, she caused the sword's crystalline blade to slowly extend. As the goo-man swung and missed, smashing tables and scattering their stuff, the crystal sword was slowly cutting his innards out. As one of his massive fists clipped Fionna's right hip, spinning her around, his face contorted in a strange look, and he toppled over backwards.

Fionna never missed a beat. Jumping over him, she grabbed the hilt, causing the blade to shrink to nothing. As she alit on the other side, she drew a dagger and hurled that, sticking a gingerbread man between the eyes and killing him stone dead. Then it was back to the sword, as she mopped up the remainder. In short order, the few survivors were fleeing for their lives. "I didn't know you could do that," murmured Patrick. With a shrug, Fi replied, "neither did I." She was finding out new stuff about the crystal sword every day. Now that it was attuned to her, it obeyed her every command, even when she wasn't holding it.

As his lady gushed about the powers of her wondrous weapon, Patrick began to get a sinking feeling. He knew that curses sometimes lingered on powerful artifacts. Fionna's dad was still somewhat under the curse of the grass-sword that he'd bought from an itinerant wizard at a fair. Only the hero's indomitable will had allowed him to control the curse instead of the other way around. Now an ugly thought began to form in Patrick's mind. Fionna had taken the crystal sword from one of the fiendish crystal guardians in the City of Crystal Fiends. What if the dead guardian had left his mark on the blade Fi carried? Could that explain her bouts of fatigue?

Patrick almost sat down right where he was. He'd put all his energy into that. He'd done everything he could to help her tame that sword. Out of love. He'd helped Fi claim the sword as her own because he loved her. It was a defining part of their relationship. Sometimes he would see her sitting there cradling that sword when he had been gone a long time. When he asked her about that, she told him that she was thinking of _him_ and all he'd done for her. But it could well be _killing_ her. "What's wrong," asked Fi? "N-nothing," sighed Patrick. He didn't know for sure yet. At the same time, he planned to do some investigation. He'd come too far to lose Fi now.

Turning back to the smashed and overturned tables, Patrick said, "we should probably try and get this stuff sold and get out of here before they come back." "You sure," she asked? "Y-you wanted to stay..." She was trying so hard. She tried to make everything equal between them, even when there were things that really couldn't be. He felt bad for hating on her and using all that DGTOW stuff on her. Sweeping her into his arms, Patrick said, "sometimes leading with your instincts is the right way to go, babe." Fi blushed. She had used that on him on occasions too numerous to list. With a shrug, he said, "a little snow won't be so bad. We'll still have a little summer left if we leave now and head back north." "Ok," murmured Fi.

Back in their homeland, the heroine's older brother sat beside the grave of his deceased wife. Billy the Human Boy had been making this same pilgrimage every day for more than a year now. He ended his stint on the graveyard shift every morning at seven sharp. Instead of driving home to rest, he drove here and sat by that lonely grave for an hour or more before finally going home. Star knew it because she worked that same graveyard shift to pay for the college classes she took on the side and the magic-lessons her mom no longer found the time for. She got off every day, and she came here first thing to look after the biggest victim of Cherry Soda's rebellion. Billy was dieing. Her strong, tough big brother was falling apart, and nobody seemed to care.

As she watched, Billy rose from the place where he'd been sitting by the side of Jake Junior's grave. Standing there a few moments more, staring down at the place where his entire family had been interred at one time, Billy Mertens finally turned to go. Star watched as he stumbled across to his truck and climbed behind the wheel. He sat there a moment, staring off into space, before finally starting the engine and driving off. Star sat there a moment longer, waiting. She gave him a head start now because he'd screamed at her for following him a few weeks back. Then she carefully pulled into traffic behind him, following him across town to the nasty apartment he'd shared with Junior.

Everybody had expected him to come home after Junior died. They'd all been looking for him to pack his stuff and come back to the treefort. Star had cleaned up his room and swept the dust out, gotten him fresh sheets and blankets, and even worked up a home-coming feast. Billy never came back. Indeed, nothing seemed to be the same anymore. Everybody _changed_. One day they were one big happy family. The next, Star's whole world imploded. The two ladies of the house–Star's resolute moms–had packed their bags one day and convoyed out to Wizard City, proceeding to spend all their time there. Her sister had just thrown her shit in the back of the beater she drove and taken off. None of them had seen Fionna in more than a year. They got calls and postcards but nothing else.

Shoko was buried in her work. Between playing at ambassador to the Fire Kingdom and working on some sort of mystery project over at the new Observatory, the Candy-Kingdom's Deputy Leader had no time for the siblings she'd suddenly discovered she had. Bon was managing his baby boy, his flaky wife, and the duties his mother was neglecting while she tried to secure an alternate food supply for the Kingdom. Cherry Cream Soda had left a pile of cash on hand in her twisted bid to _protect_ the citizens from starvation, but they were burning through that cash at a precipitous rate. If that weren't nearly enough, Wildberry Princess had been pushing for sanctions against the Candy Kingdom for all the dope the Cherry Soda Gang had been peddling in her kingdom.

In short, life in the Candy Kingdom was a bit of a mess right now, and Star was trapped right there in the middle of it. She was going to follow her brother home. Then she was going to do a little bit of cheating. She was going to use her authority as a member of the Banana Guard to go lights-and-siren back across town to school where she'd try to stay awake through class before heading home to catch a few precious winks of sleep later. If Billy's grief was killing him, it wasn't doing Star any favors either.

Just as always, Billy drove straight back to the wretched neighborhood that Junior had called home. Her brother was a mess–all but inconsolable. He'd lost his wife. He'd lost his babies. He'd more or less lost his whole world in one ugly moment. It didn't really matter that it was all a lie. It didn't matter that fucking Junior had played their whole family. He'd been deep into the wonderful life that he was expecting to live, and it had been snatched away. It was like Glob had made Star's brother a cosmic joke, and the young wood nymph often thought that somewhere Jake Junior was laughing at him. The bitch had played suicide-by-cop and left Billy holding the bag. There were moments Star was very tempted to burn down the fucking building so he could never come back here again.

As she watched, the older man went into the building and up the stairs. Within moments he was lost to her sight. Shaking her head, Star turned the car around. Reaching under the dash, she flicked the switch for the lights. She'd hit the siren when she was out of this neighborhood. There was no need for her brother to know she'd been here. That would cause another un-needed fight and make it harder for her to look after him.

The sinister black truck was over a mile away when she finally flicked on the siren. Startled candy-people and mutants piled out of her way as she floored the accelerator. She was running a little late. Her teachers had been growing more and more irritated about her perpetual tardiness lately, and the principal had sent her father a series of nasty-grams. Star knew it because she'd had to forge her father's signature on an answer. Her dad was so buried in his own depression that he never bothered to read them. The only time they really saw each other was in the mornings when she was headed out of work and he was headed in. She wanted to fix that. Their family was coming apart, and she wanted to fix that. She just hadn't figured out a way to do it.

Her mothers weren't returning her calls, and it sometimes seemed they barely returned her dad's calls. The only bright spot in her life at the moment was little Van. He was growing like a weed, and he was so cute. Star tried to spend as much time as she could with him, giving him the things that nobody else seemed able to give him just now. Half of his young life was spent with the babysitter. That was a bit better than being with his sociopathic mother, but still...

 _One thing at a time,_ thought the wizard-girl as she wove her way through traffic at high speed. She'd owned this truck more than a year, but it hardly seemed that she got joy out of it. The only real driving she did was back and forth to work and to classes. She'd never really had it outside of town, even after having it custom built for the rough roads. It was another in the long string of things that was frying her about life right now. She had a little money, and she had her freedom, but it sure didn't taste as good as she'd thought.

She rolled up on Toffee High in a cloud of dust to find that morning bell had rung and most of the kids were already inside–all but a handful of borderline truants who took flight the minute they saw the lights. Ignoring the idiots, Star grabbed her bag and rushed inside to the girls' locker room. She had to get out of her uniform, get back into her street clothes, and hustle upstairs to class before she was _really_ late. Getting detention and having to stick around after class would get in the way of going home to see her little brother.

Today, Mr. Porker was at the board with his back turned when she slipped into class. She was at her seat and scratching out notes on the ginormous equation he was working on when he turned around. His eyes suggested that he had noticed she wasn't there a moment ago, but he said nothing. Star did him the service of not attracting further attention. She stayed head-down and kept on working. It helped not at all that many of her fellow nymphs had left town when their mothers were summarily arrested, jailed, and exiled by Star's mother. Now she stood out in the crowd once more. _Thanks, mom,_ thought the wizard-girl.

When class ended, Star gathered up her materials and tried to slip out with the rest of the class. Unfortunately, the towering slab of pork-jerky got in her way, preventing her from leaving. "Detention again, huh," murmured the wizard? Scowling down at her, the physics teacher said, "I don't understand what happened to you, Ms. Mertens. You were one of our best students. Now you're hanging out with the truants..." Star flushed to her hair. He thought she was hangin' with those losers?! "I've tried to get your father's attention," said the big candy-person. "I've been half afraid that somehow someone else has been getting the letters I sent..." Star did her best not to react. She didn't want to confirm that. "Now, with parent-teacher conferences in a few days, I expect to raise these issues with him personally," said the teacher. "You can go now, Star. We'll be chatting soon."

 _Great,_ thought the wizard. She had better lay hands on her father _before_ the conference because if they didn't put up a united front, she'd get squashed. She couldn't afford that right now. _So what do I do,_ she thought? _Stay up late looking for daddy? Miss class and stay late at work?_ It was a vexing problem, and she had no time to put together answers. She had another class to get to.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Those disapproving eyes burned into Simone's eyes, and for a moment, she imagined herself as Patrick. He had gotten this every day of his life until the day he'd driven off into the sunset with Fionna. Of course that had been against Betty Petrikova's wishes too, and Simone had been getting an earful about that too until her father told Betty to put a sock in it. Betty liked things to fit her neat view of the way the world worked. She got shrill when others challenged those deeply-cherished beliefs. Under her mother's baleful gaze, Simone solemnly told her hubby of nineteen years, "it can't be helped, Finn. Daddy's meeting the Artificer's Guild. We need to prepare for that. It's going to take a lot of our time." She could almost _feel_ his pain, and she made him a silent promise to make this up to him somehow.

"I understand," sighed Finn Mertens. "Yeah... I... I'll be ok. Yeah, see you when you get home..." The voice on the other end of the line hung up. With a sigh, Finn put his phone away and sat a moment staring at the desk before him. Jake felt instantly bad for him. The girls had been gone six months already, and they showed no signs that they were ever coming back. Finn had built his entire life around them, and now they were gone. The big man was in a constant state of depression, and Jake was beginning to think he would never break out of it. _Unless...,_ thought Jake.

Striding through the door, the Postmaster General of the Candy-Kingdom announced, "hey, bro!" Looking up from the untouched mound of papers on the desk, Finn greeted his brother with, "hi, Jake." He sounded like he'd lost his best friend, which Jake kind of guessed he had. "Finn," said Jake. "You need to get out." Finn nodded absently. Picking up one of the papers on the desk, he stared down at it. He'd been working on that pile most of the day with rather sketchy results. His mind kept sliding off to Billy, Fionna, and Star. He felt like a failure. "Nah, man," said Jake. "You're getting out of the office. Right flippin' now!" Reaching out, he plucked the paper from Finn's hand. Then he wrapped Finn up with his other arm and snatched him out of his chair. "Jake," howled Finn, but Jake startled tickling him then. In moments, Finn was reduced to a bundle of giggles.

Chuckling himself, Jake turned and headed out of the headquarters. Passing the guards in the outer office, the hero-turned-mailman said, "Finn's goin' out! You guys hold down the fort!" Still tickling Finn, the stretchy-dog went out the door and down to the street. Outside, he let Finn down. Finn complained, "Jake! I can't just go run off! I got mondo-work to do!" The Candy Kingdom was still a mess from the weeks that Cherry Cream Soda and her goons had run wild, and he needed to get the last of the gangsters rounded up. Shaking his head, Jake told him, "we're goin' out, Finn. Special occasion. You can drop work for a special occasion..."

Finn greeted those words with a suspicious frown. Grinning, Jake said, "came down to tell ya that TV's gettin' married. We're gonna' go celebrate!" "Really," gasped Finn! "Wow, man! Yeah, let's do it!" Slapping his brother on the back, Jake turned and started walking down the street. Finn quickly fell in at his side with a smile on his face for the first time in forever.

Meanwhile, Finn's _other_ wayward son rolled up to the cavern his mother called home. He had a pile of groceries in the back of the car–piles of bright red veggies and other sundries. When they were done 'eating', he'd take the result down to a shelter where the staff would cook up their leavings and serve it to the poor. It was a band-aid–a way to make his existence not so ugly. His mom had been startled by the notion. That had never occurred to her.

He'd been learning a lot these last weeks. He'd gotten better and better at coping with his curse, and even taught his mother some new ideas. He was learning to dress himself for the sun the way his mother had dressed him for the cold when he was a little boy. He missed his old style–lumberjack shirts and fleece over jeans and sneaks. Sometimes he was still able to dress that way–mostly at night when he was sure he'd be home before the sun was up. In exchange he now wore less-revealing clothes. Today he was wearing the trench-coat, and he'd gone out wearing the big, broad-brimmed hat his mother bought him.

Steering around stalagmites, he rolled through the cavern and up to the home he'd known nearly all his life. As he stepped out of the truck, he found his mother floating there in mid-air, strumming her bass alongside a shocking sight. " _Mom_ ," howled Marshall?! "What-the-what?!" His clothes. His shoes. His instruments. It was all in a pile on the front porch. Marceline the Vampire Queen smiled archly at him. It was the smile she smiled when she was playing a prank on somebody, and, at first, that's what he thought this was. Innocently, the older woman remarked, "I thought you wanted to get away from me..." That... hurt. After what had happened with that fucking bitch, Cherry Cream Soda, the last thing on Marshall's mind was leaving his mom alone.

Seeing the anguish there in his eyes, the older woman darted forward, gathered her son into her arms and held him tight. "Baby," she said, "it was me that was wrong... I caused this..." "Mom," howled Marshall! Marceline held her boy all the tighter. "I was wrong, Marshall," she whispered. "I... I was afraid of being alone. I was so afraid you'd leave me all alone. I... I tried to hold onto you, and I held on too long. I smothered you, and I'm sorry." Marshall began to cry, but his mother kept on, laying it all out. She told him about her plan to keep him to herself. She apologized for keeping him away from his father, for denying him the chance to really get to know his dad for the first part of his life.

"I'm sorry, baby," she whispered. "I was a bitch and a fool, and I'm sorry." "But, mom," he murmured. "I... It's ok..." She knew what he was trying to say, and she cut him off with, "that's the guilt talking, sweet baby. I don't want you feeling guilty over what somebody else did to me. It wouldn't have mattered anyway. You have a life to live, and you couldn't have been here every hour of every day. I'm just glad your sister's ok... that this wasn't any worse." Stepping back, she gave him a beautiful smile and said, "it's time we both let go. It's time you started living your life." "B-but you'll be alone," he whispered. Shaking her head, Marceline said, "I'm never going to be alone, Marshall. You'll always be there, and I'll always have Bonnie."

Marceline helped her son bring the groceries into the house and put them away. Then she fell into the job of making up dinner–just the way she used to do it when he was a little boy, with him sitting there watching and teasing her. He used to tease her about turning the food gray before she cooked it because he'd had no idea how much that upset her. She'd always put on a brave face, never revealing to her boy just how much that hurt. Later, when he knew that it bothered her, he'd made a point of being a dick about it. Now the young man got up and went to help his mother with supper.

Silence reigned for a while as they diced up tomatoes and strawberries and little chunks of meat. "Mom," he sighed. "I... I wanna' say this." Marceline nodded. She was listening. "Mom," he said. "I just want to say I'm sorry for all that stuff I said. I... Yeah, mom, you were drivin' me crazy... buggin' and all, but I didn't have to be an asshole about it... I... you're my mom..." Chuckling, Marceline said, "ok. Apology accepted. Let's eat." She carried the bowl over to the table and started putting their strange 'salad' on the plates. Marshall brought along a bottle of their 'dressing' of choice, Blood-Golem extract.

As they ate, the Vampire Queen asked her son, "so what's this thing with Connie?" Marshall flushed, which made her laugh. "C'mon, Marshy," she said. "It's not like I don't know what boys and girls do. How do you think you got to be born?" Which made him laugh. "What, you mean the turkey-baster Bonnie used on you," he asked? It was his mother's turn to blush then. Laughing, she admitted, "well, it was _Bonnie_ who got all the action, yeah, but still..." With a sigh, Marshall Lee said, "I can't see her right now, mom. I'm... I'm just not ready." "Ok," Marceline replied. "Only... don't let that go too long." Marshall nodded. He just wanted to move the conversation on. He didn't really want to talk about this too much. Changing the subject, he asked her about her concert plans.

As the two vampires discussed their plans for the future, the young man's father sat at the end of the bar in Riley's Pub, staring into a drink, listening to TV's friends partying. The slacker-kid had arrived fashionably late for his own bachelor party. Now he sat there telling bad jokes and talking about video games instead of watching the show a young water-nymph girl was putting on. She was shaking that fantastic ass of hers, gyrating, and teasing them with her fantastic body. Of course, TV, slacker that he was, could hardly be bothered to pay attention. Instead of coins, the nymph was getting ignored. The only dude really throwing money was _Jake_.

It was _always_ Jake. He was forty-three and he hadn't changed at all. He'd dragged Finn in here, tried to buy him a lap-dance, and gotten bored when Finn begged off. Finn had ended up at the end of the bar, watching from afar while he nursed a couple of ciderjacks. Honestly, he didn't really belong here, and he was considering sneaking back to work.

"Well, handsome," announced a familiar smoky voice, "you look a little down in the mouth." Finn glanced up into a face from his memories. Her green eyes sparkled with humor, and her lush lips were parted in a smile as she regarded the man who'd saved her from the hug-wolf curse. Finn had only vague memories of the woman who'd been the alpha-hug-wolf. He was astonished to realize that she was fucking hot. Built like Simone with broad hips under grey short-shorts, heavy boobies barely contained by a leather vest and grey cami, and a pretty, heart-shaped face framed by dark, dark hair, the former lycanthrope had his fat pecker standing up proud.

"Uh, hi, uh...," Finn stammered. "It's Riley," she said with an impish smile. Finn tried to apologize, but she wouldn't hear of it. "You had a life to live," she said. "I'm just grateful we crossed paths. You _saved_ me, Finn the Human. Thanks. From here on, you can have a bottle of anything you want any night you come in. On the house." Staring around him in surprise, Finn asked, "this is _your_ place?" Nodding, Riley replied, "I figured this was a good place to settle. After all, you were here protecting the place." Finn grinned. That made him feel good–less like a failure. "Drink up," said Riley with a winsome smile. She put a bottle of Finn's favorite on the counter and wandered off.

Finn glanced back over to the so-called bachelor party. Before he could glance back, someone snatched his bear hat off the bar and ran. As his head whipped back around, Finn caught a flash of green. Catching his eye, Riley nodded at the doorway to one of the back rooms. Finn turned to find a sexy wood nymph hottie standing there holding his hat. She dangled the hat from a fingertip and motioned for him to follow. With a heavy sigh, Finn picked up his free drink and set out after her. He just hoped she wouldn't get him in trouble.

He found his quarry standing on a little stage in the back of the tiny room. She was a tiny thing, and she reminded him of E. She was dressed in a tight little dress in blue that barely came below her butt. Beneath that, she wore what looked like old-fashioned stockings. Finn sat up and took notice. "Uh, what gives," he asked? "Thought you might like a private dance," the girl replied in her soft, high-pitched voice. She snapped her fingers, and a smoky beat began to play. As Finn sat himself, she began to dance.

The hero watched as she swayed to the music, and he found himself comparing this stranger to his wife. E was taller, and pregnancy had made Huntress Wizard a little curvier with bigger boobies. This girl easily held her own though. Licking her silky lips and running her long fingers up and down her slim waist, she made an enticing sight. Of course, as he looked, so did she. Smiling archly, the pretty wood nymph asked, "don't remember me, do you?"

Finn blushed. He had issues with that. Grinning, she said, "you saved my life..." Finn gawped at her and stammered, "y-you...?" He had forgotten Cherry's 'employee' almost as soon as the ambulance took her away. With a grin, she said, "thanks to you, they got my antenna reattached. I had to go through rehab to recover, but I'm doing ok..." A sheepish Finn could only smile and nod. At the same time, he was very conscious that this was a girl. A really pretty girl. As she tore the skirt off and flung it over her shoulder, he said, "I'm just glad you're ok..." Though he was a little surprised she'd be here doing this.

"What," she asked, as she strut her stuff in a set of skimpy panties? "Stripping?" That made her laugh. "I did quit street-walking," she said. "You're right on that. Riley's place is safe. Nobody gets to touch the girl unless she wants him to. An off-duty Banana Guard bashes guys who try... Besides, I mostly bartend unless something puts me in the mood..." She'd cleaned up her act and gotten a _real_ job. "All thanks to you," said the sexy barkeep. Finn gave her a sheepish grin.

Popping open her corset, she cupped her perky boobies, leaving him with serious dry mouth. "Do guys get out of line often," asked the hero? "Nope," the girl replied. "Riley bans the few that do. Mostly they enjoy coming to drink and stare at the girls too much to chance it." She waved those beautiful boobies in his face, teasing him. She smelled really nice. Stepping back again, she slowly danced in a circle, teasing him by tugging at the waist or crotch of the skimpy panties she wore. She was good, but E was better–almost magical when she shook that hot body of hers. With a smile, Finn asked, "how many dudes can still talk by this point?" The wood nymph wonder chuckled, "not many..."

When she'd gone full circle, she slipped into his lap. He'd heard of this. E called it a lap-dance. Simone had done that to him when they got back from smashing the goo-bro's. In a weird, sort of detached way, he realized his dick was hard as a steel pipe. It had kind of been a while since he got any lovin'. Grinding her hips against his, the pretty wood nymph whispered, "you can touch if you want..." Alarmed, Finn very nearly jumped back. Wearing a disappointed look, the young woman stepped back. "No," she asked? "Married," Finn replied. In a strange way, he'd kind of be cheating on three girls if you counted Cherry. "She's lucky," the young girl opined. Finn ducked his head and glanced away.

Picking up the bottle, the barkeep asked, "mind if I have a little?" "No," said Finn. "Go ahead." She took a sip right from the bottle. She had really nice lips. He couldn't for the life of him imagine what kind of sick bastard wanted to hurt a girl for fun. Softly, he said, "you're really pretty... I'd... I can't do that. I don't want to be that kind of guy." Nodding, the girl said, "then have a drink with me, Finn the Human." Taking the bottle back, Finn took a sip himself. As he drank, she said, "usually it's loser dudes who can't get a girl or miserable older guys who hate their wives who come down here..." Finn blushed. Softly, he said, "my nephew's having his bachelor party. Dude's getting' hitched finally..." The pretty wood nymph said, "TV? He's your nephew?" Finn nodded.

Rolling her eyes, the nymph said, "he's marrying one of the girls here." Finn sprayed hard-cider out his nose. Almost he jumped up to go out there and confront Jake about this news. Then he realized that it really wasn't his business. "She didn't drug him," rumbled the girl, "if that's what you're thinking. Your dudes rousted out anybody who was stupid enough to be doing that." Finn blushed. E hadn't been very subtle or nice with that. At the same time, he was embarrassed to realize that TV was such a slacker that he would marry a girl he'd met at a strip-bar like this. Glancing up at the woman before him, he said, "I never got your name. I'd kind of like to know it..." "It's Teri," replied the girl. "Short for Theresa." "Well, Teri," said Finn. "I'm kinda' glad to meet you finally. I didn't know what happened to you, and I'm glad I found out."

Teri slipped her clothes back on and followed him back out into the main room. Settling in at the bar once more, Finn ordered up a couple of glasses, and the two chatted a while, as TV and his friends continued to party. While they talked, Jake sidled up to Finn and slipped onto one of the barstools. "Hey, Finn," said Jake. "Hey, bro," Finn replied. Jake helped himself to a glass of Finn's cider. Sipping cider, the stretchy dog asked, "havin' fun, man?" With a shrug, Finn said, "yeah, man. No complaints." Nodding at Teri, he said, "this is the girl I saved from the gangster dude last year. Her name's Teri." Teri gave Jake a smile. Polishing off her drink, the barkeep said, "well, I'm'a get changed for work..." She left them there and headed for the back again.

Finn watched her go before turning back to Jake. "She's pretty," said the stretchy dog. Finn shrugged. So what. "So whatcha' been doin'," Jake asked? With a heavy sigh, Finn replied, "nothing's the same anymore... Billy won't talk to me. Simone and E are over in Wiz City, and they hardly call anymore. My life sucks, Jake..." Jake wrapped one rubbery arm around Finn's shoulders. "Man, Finn," he said, "you're almost _forty_! When you gonna' stop lettin' girls do this stuff to you?" Patting Finn on the back, Jake said, "you did all you could for those kids! Hell, ya raised PB's kids so she didn't have to. You don't owe Bill anything, man. I had t'let my kids live their lives. You should too."

Finn nodded half-heartedly. Jake expounded on that, telling his little brother about how much he loved his kids. "But they grow up man," said the stretchy dog. "They grow up, and they figure out what they wanna' do... Sometimes it's not what you wanted for 'em, but they figure it out, and you gotta' let 'em go do it." "You mean Junior," murmured Finn. Wiping at his eye, Jake nodded. "Man, I sure miss her, Finn," he said. "She was a cut-up..." Like her dad. Shaking that off, Jake said, "but she made her choice, man... I told'er not t'fool around with those guys, but she done it anyway." Changing the subject, Jake said, "everybody does what they're gonna' do, Finn. Am I right?" Finn nodded.

Leaning forward so they were eye to eye, Jake said, "so why you doin' all this mopin', Finn. If them girls ain't comin' back, they ain't comin' back. There's other stuff out there." With a few stiff belts in him, Finn was feeling no pain. He was halfway tempted to finish the bottle simply because he could. Jake's words came close to making him sober again. "Riley's a nice girl," said Jake. "Me'n TV come down here all the time. Guy could do worse than a gal got her own bar." Finn was irritated now. Jake had been trying to convince him to cheat on his wives almost since he'd been married. "Well why don't _you_ marry her, Jake," growled the human hero. Standing up, Finn wobbled there a moment before grabbing the bottle. He downed a third of what was left in one gulp, then headed for the door.

Jake caught up with him there and stopped him. "Finn," the stretchy-dog pleaded, "you're not safe drivin' home. Lemme' get one of TVs buds to drive you." Finn balked for a moment, but he knew Jake was right. Last thing he wanted was to get busted by his own guys for driving drunk. "Ok," said the Hero of Ooo." He could stay for a little while. Singing off-key, Jake led the way back over to the bachelor party where a new girl had stepped onto the stage. Spying the handsome Captain of the Guard there, she put a little extra into the show, and she soon had that pack of slavering dudes drooling.

Riley and Teri kept Finn's drink topped off, and the hero slowly began to loosen up and enjoy himself. He flirted shamelessly with the beautiful bartender and her equally beautiful boss. He tossed his share of coins at the girls onstage, hooting and hollering just like the others. With a few drinks in him, TV did his own share of coin-tossing and clowning. In the end, everyone had a blast, though Riley ended up having to call cabs for nearly all of them.

The bar owner and her chief lieutenant took especial care of their hero, helping him wobble out to the curb, and Teri sprang for the cab-fare herself. As the cab pulled away from the curb and rolled off into the night, Riley's thoughts turned to the question that had been burning in her mind. "What happened," she asked? "Nothing," Teri replied. "It was... just like you said." Finn the Human was a one-woman man, else Riley would have made her play years ago.

The cab took the better part of an hour to reach the treehouse. Between the driver's reluctance and Finn's drunken instructions, just getting out of town was a chore. Finn was in hot water. He knew the girls would be kind of pissed if they found out he'd done this. At the same time, he was so drunk, he couldn't be bothered to care.

The cab deposited him on the doorstep of his house at 1 in the morning, with all sheets to the wind. And that was where Van's babysitter found him. Lollipop Lady found the man of the house on his own doorstep, looking as though he planned to sleep there all night. "Well now I know why I couldn't get you," she burbled, as she helped him up. Finn apologized profusely, but she was hardly paying attention. Her thoughts were on getting the house locked up, getting Finn upstairs to bed, and getting a little sleep herself. She'd expected to be home by now.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

It sort of said something about the strain Finn's extended family was under that Finn was the only person invited to TV's wedding. There was a lot of negative sentiment regarding Jake Junior's death, with Viola and TV both laying a lot of the blame at _Billy's_ feet. They felt he should have let Junior go. By his own admission, Junior had intended to leave, so why couldn't he have just let her? Was his job as a cop that important? Over the years, a lot of nasty stuff had gotten said by both of Finn's wives, and there had been a lot of fights over Junior with the pups as a block taking Junior's side. Thus it was that Finn came alone to TV's small wedding.

On Jake's side was his brother, Jermaine, who'd flown in from the Purple Kingdom to watch his nephew get hitched. It had been many years since either Finn or Jake had seen their brother. The two dogs had gotten into a boisterous tussle outside the event, and only Kim Kil Wan's intervention stopped them. On Lady's side came her parents, Bob and Ethel. Kim had brought his wife and their daughter. Charlie and Viola had come with their spouses. A surprise guest was Bonnie, who had come alone. In spite of what had happened with Cherry and Junior's willing participation, Bonnie had come down anyway in a show of support for Lady.

She'd come in a deep-pink dress that hugged her beautiful body, and honestly Finn's eyes popped when he caught sight of her. Bonnie smiled politely at Finn, but she kept her distance, spending more time with Lady and the pups than anyone else. A pair of Finn's Heavy Boys stayed close as the tall princess moved through the reception. The protective detail the Captain of the Guard had assigned was always with her now, and even Marceline got the stink-eye from them. As he watched his old flame circulate through the banquet hall, Finn found his mind wanted to wander back to the illicit moment they'd shared when he rescued her. He could almost _taste_ her soft lips and feel her skin against his. He hadn't seen much of PB the last year or so. Really, she'd done her best to avoid being around him. It kind of made him sad.

TV and his wife–a sexy, green-skinned amazon out of the Warrior Kingdom–circulated through the reception chatting with their guests. Her family hadn't bothered to show. They had disowned their stripper daughter, and they wanted nothing to do with their odd little son-in-law, as he hardly fit the warrior-ideal. Finn felt a little bad for her, though he knew she was just using TV. "Hey, man," announced Jake! "Don't go lookin' at my daughter-in-law like that. You had your chance the other night..." Finn looked up with a blush covering his face. Patting Finn on the back, Jake said, "man, he hit the jackpot." Finn nodded sagely, thinking, _yeah, if you don't count the whole 'gold-digger' thing._

"So how did he meet that stunning beauty," asked Jermaine? Finn glanced away. Shamelessly, Jake replied, "met her at the club. She dances there." Jermaine rolled his eyes, and Finn just knew what he was thinking. Gold-digger. It was there on his face. Neither of them argued that with Jake, who insisted that Pearl was da bomb. "She's as hot as Simone ever was," insisted Jake. Finn nodded sagely. Puzzled, Jermaine asked, "where _is_ your missus, Finn?" "Working on her dad's campaign," sighed Finn. Jermaine gave him a puzzled little frown. "She's helping Simon try and take the Grand Master's job in Wizard City," said Finn, as he walked away.

When he'd gone, Jake waggled a finger under his nose, "gee, thanks, Jerry! I been tryin'a cheer that boy up for _months_! Now look what you did!" Jermaine babbled, "but I didn't..." Jake ignored him in favor of following Finn across the room to the refreshments. "Hey, Finn," said Jake. "Brung ya somethin'..." Finn was staring at the food, but Jake put a bottle of Special Flavor on the table in front of him. "What's that," asked the Captain of the Guard? "It's good stuff, man," said Jake. "Have a taste." Uncertainly, Finn picked up the bottle and popped the cap. The scent from within was _strong_ and came close to curling his hair. Raising the bottle to his lips, he took an experimental sip of the contents and felt the draught burn all the way down. And then he felt the heat spreading outward through his body and into his limbs. With the first sip down, he took another, bigger sip. Then he took another after that. In moments, he was happy-go-lucky teenage Finn once again.

"Hey, Jake," said he. "I think I'm'a dance..." Without a further word, the younger man went straight out onto the dance floor. Without finding a partner–indeed Finn was the only one out there–he began to dance and shimmy, flailing his limbs and generally making an ass of himself. Jake howled laughter as he too took a sip. As Jermaine watched in horror, his two brothers began to do just the sort of things they used to do when they were kids when they honestly should have known better.

Elsewhere, Star Mertens came out of the shower to find the babysitter in the kitchen working away at cleaning up dishes. Lollipop greeted the young lady with, "evening, Star. There's leftovers in the fridge, if you like." Star thanked her and headed over to the refrigerator. She had a little homework to do before going out to her shift tonight, and she wanted to spend a little time on her little brother. Van was in his high-chair by the side of the table, staring out at the world with the bright, happy face of a baby. It was funny in its way. Star had spent much of her life being the youngest kid of the Mertens household. She'd been the swing-vote in conflicts between oldest and middle child, and she'd been doted on by all three of her parents.

At the same time, she was keenly aware of the way first Billy and then later Fionna nurtured and protected her. Billy had been there to bash the faces of anybody at school who hassled his sisters, especially the oddball of the trio. He'd been Star's fierce defender. Later on, Fionna took on that job. She was a little more subtle about it. They still had their sibling rivalry, and, being girls, that was all the more obnoxious. Fionna hadn't been shy about telling any dudes that looked at Star the wrong way to shove off though, and she'd backed it up on many occasions with her fists. Star had, early on, wanted her own younger sibling to boss around and protect. Learning that Shoko was her younger sister had been a shock, but then when Van came along...

The little guy eagerly reached out to her when she picked him up, and he tugged at her hair and pressed his face against hers, trying to kiss her the way she so often kissed him. "You're good with kids," chuckled Lollipop. "When you thinking of having your own...?" That was a crazy question for someone who didn't even have a boyfriend. Blushing in embarrassment, Star put Van back in his high-chair and continued on to the fridge. As the teen gathered up dinner, Lollipop apologized for putting her on the spot.

"S'ok," said Star. "I guess... I'm just a little awkward with it." She honestly couldn't have told you what she was looking for in a guy–except sorta' like her dad and big brother. Sometimes that was a little weird for her, but those two were examples of the way she thought all dudes should be. "It's not twisted or incesty, Star," Lollipop chuckled. "I think every girl wants a guy like _daddy_. You're lucky. You've had two good men in your life to show you what men are _supposed_ to be like. You just need to get out there and start hunting around. You're eighteen! Get moving!" Blushing and grinning, Star swore she would.

Changing the subject, she asked, "where's dad? I thought he'd be here by now." She'd been trying to get hold of him before the stupid teacher conference. "He went to your cousin's wedding," Lollipop replied. "I'm surprised you didn't go..." Star scowled at the stove. Stupid TV had as much as said that Star and Billy were to blame for Junior's death. It figured the shithead would disinvite her from his wedding. _Shithead'll get fleeced by his hooker girlfriend anyway,_ Star thought angrily. "If you see him, tell him I need to talk to him," said Star. Lollipop promised she would.

Back at the party, a very drunk Finn the Human was making an ass of himself. Standing on the edge of the dance-floor with her dear friend, Bonnibel Bubblegum murmured, "some things never change." Lady chuckled. It was the Jake she remembered from the old days when she was young and didn't have five kids to take care of. "Ulineun uliga haji anh-assda samjin," she said with a sigh. Bonnie blushed. They were both alone. At least Lady had managed to hold onto Jake for a few years. "I don't have any regrets," she murmured. "Daman han beon geuwa hamkke jam-eul eodgo issji," Lady asked?

The princess sputtered and glanced away. That one stung. It was a refrain she'd heard over and over again the last twenty years or so. Simone had taken Finn right out from under her nose. Simone's kids should have been hers. She knew she dared not reveal the truth about that one. Only their immediate family knew that Bonnie's kids _were_ Finn's kids. "I'm happy to have him as my friend," sighed Bonnie. In any event, Finn's antics were giving her an excuse to escape this unpleasant conversation. "I better go get that shut down," said the princess.

Much to Jake's dismay, the tall princess went out on the dance-floor and interrupted Finn's groove, shutting down the fun in fairly short order. With a glare for her Postmaster, Bonnie Bubblegum steered Finn the Human off the dance floor and out onto the balcony where he could get some fresh air. Once outside, she got her old suitor seated. "Hey, Poibles," Finn giggled! "Man you look smokin'! I'd do you in a second if I had the chance!" The pretty princess blushed to her hair at that outrageous statement. It was all the more incongruous because Finn already _had_ 'done' her.

"You're drunk as a skunk, Finn," chuckled Bonnie. She'd never seen him like this before. He was normally hopelessly bombastic around her. Tonight, he was almost _silly_. Finn chuckled too. He was having a good time. Hearing dance music from inside, he stood up, jerked PB into his arms and began to twirl her around the balcony. Startled at first, Bonnie squeaked in surprise. And then she began to enjoy it. It wasn't often Finn really showed her affection like this anymore. They were usually hung up on her title and his responsibilities or his marriage and her position in society. It was mad and altogether absurd, but the only time they'd ever really gotten to be Finn and Bonnie was when she'd accidentally been reduced to the biological age of a young teen.

Laying her head on his shoulder, Bonnie let Finn sweep her around the balcony. It felt... good. In some ways, this intimate contact was better than the one time they'd gotten to have sex. For that one moment, he was all hers, giving her the love that she'd yearned for over long centuries of life. She could hear the reception going on inside, and she was conscious of her ever-present minders standing just out of sight inside the hall. The moment was just right. When Finn took hold of her hair and brought her face to his, she was more than ready.

His lips tasted of the nasty concoction that Jake fed him, making his breath a little icky, but she didn't mind in the least. His kiss came close to setting her on fire, and when he grabbed a handful of her ass, Bonnie found herself grinding her hips against his. She was in love with him, and all thoughts of 'closure' and 'moving on' fled her mind. In just moments, Bonnie was caressing him back. They got rather carried away, and it was only the sudden arrival of Jake, looking to see if Finn was ok, that got them stopped.

"Uh, we were just talking," Bonnie lied. Brushing back her long pink hair, Bonnie stepped back from Finn until she was up against the wall of the balcony. Jake nodded sagely. It was like she didn't think he could see the lipstick all over Finn's lips and face. It gave the stretchy dog quite a chuckle. He'd been trying to get Finn to move on from his moping, but he didn't think the boy would succeed like _this_. "Well," said Jake, "there's dancing and stuff goin' on now..." Still grinning that grin, he turned and went back inside. Wearing a goofy grin, Finn grabbed Bonnie by the hand and headed back inside.

The candy-monarch was a little embarrassed to find herself being led onto the dance floor by Simone and Emeraude's husband–especially at a family function like this. At the same time, she sooo wanted this. Stepping out on the floor, Finn stood there a moment staring into her blue eyes. Then he swept his former girlfriend into his arms and began to slowly dance with her. He was good. He was every bit as graceful as he had been goofy earlier when he was clowning. The feel of his powerful arms around her slowly melted through the fog of fear and shame she felt, and Bonnie began to relax again. As she relaxed, the two grew closer and then closer still until they were cheek-to-cheek, their bodies in constant contact.

Two pairs of jealous eyes watched them from the periphery of the dance floor. Riley the bar owner and her young friend had come to support Pearl since none of her family bothered to show. All the girls from the bar were here. "Isn't he the stiff you were eyeing," asked Tallulah? Tallulah was a water-nymph, and she and Teri mixed like oil and water. Tallulah thought Teri was putting on airs with her habit of only dancing when she _felt like it_. The tall water-nymph never missed a chance to needle the little wood-nymph. Teri the wood-nymph glared daggers at the tall princess, as she watched the handsome Captain of the Guard twirl the beautiful older woman around the dance-floor. Close as they danced, it was clear that there was intimacy there. Riley put a calming hand on her friend's shoulder. She knew what Teri felt because she felt it herself. She'd felt it for nearly two decades.

She'd watched Finn the Human going about his business in the Candy Kingdom, saving peeps, righting wrongs, and generally doing his hero-biz. He was always unfailingly polite the few times she'd encountered him since he lifted the curse, but that was all she'd ever gotten from him. Softly, Riley told her friend, "they've got history, Teri, a whole lot of history." It wasn't personal. It had nothing to do with whether or not Teri was attractive. Finn the Human had always had a thing for Bonnibel Bubblegum and seemingly always would.

Finn danced with his old girlfriend for the better part of an hour, just listening to the beating of her heart and the soft sighing of her breath past his ear. It was all there–just as it had always been. He loved Bonnie, and there were moments where he would have walked away from Simone and Emeraude just to have her. He knew it wasn't possible. The wish-spell wouldn't have allowed him to leave E anyway, and he still loved Simone. Even with her seeming reluctance to come home, he loved her. Sensing the conflict in him, Bonnie asked, "what're you thinking?" With a sigh, Finn said, "thinking I should go home, Peebles... I... This has been fun, but I gotta' go."

Bonnie could see in his eyes what he was really thinking. She was losing him. She was losing him to the same beautiful face that had snatched him right out from under her nose. And what was she going to say? He was married. Finn had two wives, and he certainly couldn't afford to offend them. As Finn turned quickly to walk away–too quickly–a wave of dizziness tried to overcome him. He was still drunk, and it took a moment for him to get himself straightened. "You're not driving, Finn," said Bonnie. Summoning her bodyguards with a wave of her hand, she said, "I'll take you home." As several jealous females watched, Bonnibel Bubblegum walked out of that place with the ever-handsome Finn the Human.

The guards helped him down the stairs, doing their best to watch their princess at the same time. Knowing the orders they were under–Finn had made it clear that anybody who got in the way of them protecting her should be left in the gutter–Bonnie did her best to stay close. She'd had an epiphany when Finn tried to leave on his own. There were ways she could have some of what she wanted.

The guards made sure their princess was secure in her limousine before helping Finn climb into the seat beside her. Shutting the door, the driver went and climbed back into the driver's seat. Moments later, the Royal Motorcade was forming up around them. As the limousine pulled away from the banquet hall, Bonnie turned and pressed the button on the console, raising the partition between herself and the driver. Finn turned to face her and got a mouthful of tongue as Bonnie kissed him for all she was worth. Finn grabbed the beautiful woman and pulled her into his lap.

The two spent several moments that way until, breathless, they finally broke that kiss. Finn's face was red hot. Bonnie giggled. Then, leaning in, she started to kiss him again. Finn didn't hesitate. His hands began to caress and stroke her soft body, teasing the firm muscle, his fingers gliding up and down her flanks. Bonnie moaned into his mouth. He touched her so nice. Finn kissed his way across her cheek and then down her throat. At the same time, his right hand slipped down to her calf and began to caress the firm muscle there with light, teasing strokes.

He teased her that way for quite a while. His right hand caressed her leg, going up and down and then up again between her hip and ankle. His left stroked her side, getting close to the bottom of her plump right booby but never quite touching. It was driving her mad with frustration. She wanted to scream at him. Reaching up, she unfastened the front of her bodice, baring the soft silk underneath. Finn pressed his face in against her plump boobies, feeling her soft skin, and he nibbled and licked at her tender flesh. "Finnnn," whined Bonnie. "Please..."

Finn's roughly calloused fingers slipped up under her skirt, slowly working their way up her leg. "Yes," she moaned. She could feel his fingers sliding up her leg, gliding across the soft silk of her stockings. Bonnie closed her eyes as she felt those cool fingertips finally touch her inner thigh. A shiver went up her spine as Finn caressed her there, just inches from her hot, moist snatch. Meanwhile, Finn continued to rub his face against her boobies, teasing her feverish skin with the tip of his tongue. Bonnie grabbed his wrist, trying to _force_ contact, but she might as well have been trying to bend an iron bar. Finn's hand didn't move. He continued to gently caress her. "Please," she pleaded, but Finn continued to do just what he'd been doing.

She was ready to punch him when she felt the tip of his finger against her button. "Uhhhh," howled the frustrated Princess. Slowly he worked that finger back and forth, the finger pressing the damp silk against her joy-button, grinding the cloth against her tender flesh. Bonnie's thighs clenched together around his hand as she experienced a powerful orgasm that left her screaming into his shoulder.

"Treehouse," announced the driver. " _Glob-dammit_ ," howled a frustrated Bonnie Bubblegum! Momentarily, the driver was opening the door. Finn carefully climbed out of the car. Determined to finish this, Bonnie was right behind him. She barely took the time to straighten her clothing before following Finn up to the door of his house. Finn wobbled there a moment, fumbling for his keys, and Bonnie was almost ready to just go through his pockets herself. Just as she was considering doing just that, the door opened, revealing the face of one of her citizens. Lollipop Girl stood there in a natty red dress that came down mid-thigh on the tall candy-person. Staring into her chocolate-brown eyes, the tall princess had a dim recollection that Simone was paying this woman to look after Finn's son.

"Hey, Finn," said Lollipop. "Was wondering when you were getting back. I've got little Van in bed..." As she spoke, her eyes were on Bonnie Bubblegum, who was flushed and disheveled. She couldn't really help wondering what her proud princess was up to. Seeming to guess what she was thinking, Bonnibel Bubblegum said, "I-I just thought I'd make sure Finn got home... Uh... he's a little tipsy..." Nodding, Lollipop said, "ok, ya big lummox... C'mon..." Throwing Finn's arm over her shoulder, the tall girl led him into the house and shut the door in the princess's face. A _very_ frustrated Princess Bubblegum went and got back into her limousine for the long ride home.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

The night air was cool and damp outside as Preston Pig lay snoozing in his comfortable home. He'd opened the window to cool the house, taking advantage of the cool evening air after three days of relentless heat. The plump porker dreamed of hot apple pie and the scent of rose oil as the creaking of the house's old timbers crooned him a lullaby. Nearby, his son, Sweet-P, also dreamed, his mind wandering through fields of summer flowers. Both men dreamed of _her_. Tree Trunks had been gone for many years, but she lingered on in their memories.

Outside, sinister forces moved, slipping through the neat, orderly gardens and across the carefully manicured lawn. They had been searching for months. The target had been far harder to find than expected. It hardly seemed likely that the evil that they sought would be so unguarded. It seemed almost impossible that you could hide such a thing in plain sight. Most of the folk of Ooo reckoned that Finn the Human would have taken their quarry to some distant fortress and imprisoned it. Some had even suggested that he'd used his connections with the Queen of Vampires to send the target to the Night-O-Sphere. Instead, the target was _here_.

The leader of the little hit team came creeping up the lawn with a blade between his teeth and a set of picks ready to hand in his front pocket. He needed the picks to open a window. The front and back doors were both locked and trapped, so he'd be going in an alternate route. The name of the game was to get in, grab the package, and get out again.

Creeping up on the house, the thief slipped around to the side. Spying the open window, he thanked the stars for his luck. Taking hold of his knife, he went climbing through the opening into the room beyond. As his foot touched the floor, he stepped on a special board. That board tripped a latch, and that latch released a rope. As the thief tip-toed across the room, a tremendous racket arose as the bell on the roof started clanging, a loud horn began to wail, and the neighbors started to come to their doors. The startled thief sprang at a groggy Preston Pig, knocking him down.

The pig squealed as the thief stabbed him. Hearing the commotion, Sweet-P came up the hall, shouting for his father. The pig shouted for his son to call for help. Then he clamped his iron-hard teeth around his assailant's arm. Screams rang out, and Sweet-P heard the sounds of a ferocious fight in his parents' room. He could hear furniture getting overturned, squeals of pain and grunts of exertion from his dad, and screams from whoever his dad was fighting. Terrified, the young man went and grabbed the phone.

In the capitol, Billy sat at his desk working his way through the evening's reports. The city–indeed the whole country–was slowly quieting down again. Things were going back to the sleepy that the Candy Kingdom was known for. He didn't doubt that the lower-end thugs and dealers were still doing their thing. Thieves had to eat too. Still, the organization that Cherry had built was defeated in all its details, and he was, if not happy, very pleased about that. It couldn't bring back JJ. Nothing short of a wish would bring JJ back to him. He'd been pondering that a lot lately. The Wishmaster's Maze was just a few hours hard driving away. He was a wizard, and it was quite possible he could get through the maze all on his own.

 _And then what,_ he thought? _Are you really ready to pay Aquandrius's price?_ He knew there would be a price to pay. The Wishmaster never let go one of his wish's without exacting a toll. Intelligent as he was, Billy knew that he didn't stand a chance in hell of outsmarting the Wishmaster. Ironically, he had come to surmise over the years that it wasn't his dad's _smarts_ that was the key. Finn the Human had won because he knew his limits and didn't try to over-think the problem. Billy wasn't so blessed, so he'd come to the sad conclusion that he would be paying some horrific price to have his wife back.

What would Aquandrius do? If he wanted to be cruel, he could bring back the demonic _thing_ inside Jake Junior. He could unleash the monster that had hidden inside her happy-go-lucky demeanor. Billy would have his wife back, but he wouldn't want what he had. Or, as Bon had suggested, the Wishmaster could simply manipulate things so that it was _Billy_ who died that day, and wouldn't that be hell for his parents and sisters? Billy knew that would just about _kill_ Star, and he didn't think any of them deserved _that_.

The young man went around in a circle and came right back to where he started, much as he had nearly every day for the past year and a half. JJ was gone, and he was coming to realize that there was no hope of ever getting her back. So what then? He wasn't sure he was ready to move on without her. Just before his mind started heading down dangerous paths, the phone rang. Billy picked up the phone, announcing, "go." It was the dispatcher. As he listened to the frantic call from Tree Trunks' place, he quickly grew alarmed. "Tell them we're on the way," said Billy.

Rising, he strode for the door of his office, snatching his jacket off the hook as he went. Out in the squad area, his eyes searched for a familiar set of blue-green peepers. He found Star at her desk in the corner with her face stuck in a book. He let that slide because he'd done much the same thing, taking advantage of his dad and his dad's dudes to study on the job. Now he had to interrupt Star's cramming session. Given Sweet-P's secret, Billy wanted as much firepower as he could get going out there.

Striding up to his sister, the young hero said, "need you to get your gear and meet me in the garage in five minutes. We're going on a special run." Star looked up at him with an expression somewhere between worry and surprise. He didn't wait. He knew her quality, and he just stepped off, heading for the stairs. After a moment, Star got up and followed, stopping by her locker on the wall to grab some extra firepower. She'd found a stash of her mother's old arrows gathering dust in the treehouse work room, and she'd sort of purloined them. Nobody seemed to really care, so she'd never taken them back. Now she shouldered the quiver and headed downstairs.

She found her brother waiting beside her truck. As she walked up, he asked, "ready?" "What's the job," she replied? "We're going to Sweet-P's place. Lights and siren." "Ok," said Star. "I drive." It was _her_ truck after all. Billy paused only a moment. Then, with a curt nod, he went around to the passenger seat. Star climbed behind the wheel, put her arrows in the back, and started the engine. "You sure you can do this," he asked? "Buckle up," chuckled Star. She tore out of the garage at high speed, taking the corner on two wheels. Flicking the siren and lights on, she pushed her foot to the floor, and then Billy grabbed the sissy-bar on the dashboard and held on for dear life.

The streets were mostly empty this time of night, and Star tore through the streets like a shrieking banshee, tires squealing at the turns and motors screaming at all four wheels. Billy was impressed. His staid little sister had learned to drive somewhere. He had promised to help her with that. He'd promised to help her build a vehicle of her own to her own tastes, but he'd fallen down on that job. That added a little bit to his depression. He hadn't done very well by Star. Not that she had anything to complain of right now. Bonnie Bubblegum had bought her this ridiculous ride out of gratitude.

As they tore out onto the highway, Star adjusted the suspension, causing the heavy machine to ride a little higher. Now she drove a little more carefully, anticipating the turns as she wove her way in and out of the few vehicles on the highway at this hour and took the turns at shocking speeds. Noticing the white-knuckle grip her brother had on the sissy-bar, the little woman asked, "how you doin' over there?" Billy laughed. His right foot was getting a little tired from jamming on the brake pedal he didn't have, but he was ok otherwise.

As they tore through the countryside, Billy's phone rang. Letting go of the sissy-bar, he fumbled out his phone and flipped it open, calling out, "go." Star found her attention divided between the road and the conversation her brother was having. Billy motioned for her to stay focused on the road, as he fielded the dispatcher's comments. "Shit," said Billy, as he hung up. "It's getting serious. There's more than one dude there. Go cross-country. We're running out of time." Star flicked another switch, raising the truck's ride height even more. Feathering the throttle, she rolled up onto the embankment and off the highway. Moments later, they were thundering across the landscape, dodging trees and rocks and small animals as Star swerved this way and that.

"Nice truck," said Billy. The suspension was soaking up the bumps better than his own vehicle would have managed. With a grin, Star said, "motors at all four corners instead of one in the center. No axles to get in the way..." The wheels were completely independent of each other. Billy nodded. Maybe he needed to cash in some markers himself. The duo were close now, though. It was time to focus.

They could hear the alarm sirens and the bell that Banana Man had installed in Tree Trunks' place. Billy gathered himself, getting ready to throw down against whoever or whatever had decided to drop in on the Pig and his son. Star said, "grab my arrows. We might need 'em." Billy fished the quiver out of the back and held onto them as they came roaring up to Tree Trunks' place.

Star hammered the brakes, sucking rotational energy out of the wheels and feeding it back into the battery under the floor. Billy thrust the quiver at her as he dove from the truck before it had come to a stop. Star was just a moment behind him. She drew an arrow and slung the quiver over her shoulder as she scanned the scene. There were two or three corpses on the ground neraby. None of them were big enough to be Sweet-P, and none of them were the Pig. _Booby traps,_ thought the wizard as she looked around. She knew from hints of things her father said in unguarded moments that the lawn around Tree Trunks' place was littered with traps. Finn had built and placed most of them himself. A lot of them could be triggered from inside. Star turned to Billy. The older man motioned for her to join him on the path. The path was safe. Mostly.

As they crept up the path towards the front door, Billy conjured glowing motes of frozen death that seemed to hover near his shoulders. Star felt a chill go up her spine at the sight. She worried about that. She'd been worrying over it ever since he'd admitted to having those powers. She knew the cost of that. She'd heard all the stories about how out and out cray-cray Simone and her dad had been when the Ice-Crowns possessed them. She feared that Billy was slowly falling under the sway of the crowns himself.

Step by step they went up the pathway. Star walked exactly where her brother walked and nowhere else. Many of the traps went active when that alarm system was on. As Billy stepped over and around some of the cobblestones leading up to Tree Trunks' old door, Star echoed his every move. They found a corpse on the walkway with a spear driven up through his butthole, through his stomach, and out his chest. It was a nasty way to go, and it told Star that she wasn't cut out for Fionna's lifestyle of raiding old dungeons. She wasn't interested in a short, _tragic_ life.

They found two more corpses at the front door. The heavy door with its hidden steel panel had fallen out on them, crushing the life from both right there on the stoop. The inner door had been breeched. Billy stepped inside to find a thief laying there slumped against the wall next to the doorway. His right leg was a shredded mess, and he was breathing his last. He looked up at the pair coming through the door through a haze of pain and anguish, and Billy asked him, "who are you?" The thug said nothing. "Who paid you," asked Billy? The dead man said not a word and finally breathed his last. As the two stepped fully into the room, Star's eyes locked with a pair of frightened eyes down at the end of the hallway near the back bedrooms.

"Sweet-P," said Billy. The young man said nothing. He continued to stand right where he was. Billy stepped forward, calling the man-boy's name. "It's me," said he. "It's Billy..." Sweet-P backed away from them. "Star," said Billy. "Wait here..." Star, who'd been trailing her brother, stopped right where she was. She even put the arrow back in her quiver. Striding forward, Billy took a good look at the strange man-boy, who's body contained the Lich's Id. There was a look of pure terror in his eyes. And something else.

"Hey, buddy," said Billy. "I'm here now. You're gonna' be ok." Shaking himself, the boy said, "dad's hurt..." "Ok," said Billy. "Lead on." Sweet-P led one of his heroes down the hall to his parents' room. There Billy found Mr. Pig with a knife stuck in one shoulder and a dead man laying on top of him. The dead man's right arm seemed to be severed up near the shoulder, and the mutilated limb lay on the ground, looking as though it had been chewed off. Seeing Billy's expression, Preston Pig rumbled, "hey... I did what I had to do." Billy grimaced. That was... nasty.

Moving on, Billy pulled the dead guy off the Pig, finding a couple more holes in Sweet-P's dad. Billy went in the pack at his hip and came up with Bonnie Bubblegum's special healing elixir. She'd mixed up the oily goop after examining the cyclops tears that Finn made use of and now all the Banana Guard carried the stuff in their kits. Carefully, Billy drizzled a little of the elixir into the wounds on the Pig's gut. It was as important to deal with the damage inside as outside. The Pig hissed as he felt the stuff going to work. "So what happened," asked the young hero?

The Pig rolled his eyes and said, "some dudes broke in! Fuck you think happened?!" Lowering his voice, Preston Pig asked, "boy ok?" "A little scared," replied Billy. "He's not hurt. Handled this like a trooper. Called us. Stayed on the phone with dispatch." Nodding, the Pig said, "anything... bad." Shaking his head, Billy replied, "just scared I think." "Ok," replied the Pig. By now they could hear the ambulance outside. "Star," shouted Billy! "Go out there and meet them!" The last thing they needed was for the ambulance's crew to get chewed up in their dad's traps.

Sweet-P looked lost as they loaded his dad on the ambulance. The Pig did his best to comfort the boy, but he was clearly terrified. "He's gonna' be ok," said Star as her dad shut the ambulance doors. The terrified man-boy nodded as the ambulance tore out of there. As Star watched, her brother and her grim-faced father went back up the walkway to the house. Star found herself looking after Sweet-P. She knew _of_ the Lich's strange 'host body', but she'd never seen him in person. He was a little creepy. Nevertheless, she did her best to keep him calm.

Inside the house, Billy said, "these guys are members of the Caramel-Street Reapers." They'd all had the ink on their bodies. Billy had looked them over while the ambulance crew was getting things sorted. Finn nodded grimly. It was clear the implications of that weren't lost on him. The Reapers were on the edges of the Candy Kingdom underworld, but they had become larger players since Cherry's arrest. Question was, what the fuck was she doing? Having held Bonnie prisoner for months, she had access to a lot of knowledge about the kingdom's secrets. Did she know what Sweet-P was? Had she been trying for him?

"It could be the Pig," muttered Finn. "He was up to his eyeballs in the gangs once..." He'd sworn he quit, but Finn knew how hard it was to escape that life once you were in it. Billy grimaced. How could he not see what was right before their eyes? He was appalled to think that his dad could still be so charmed by Cherry Cream Soda's pussy that he would defend her. At the same time, a corner of his mind asked the question, _and you weren't?_ He couldn't quite forget that he'd bought and believed every lie JJ told him. "Ok," muttered Billy. "I'll dig into what the Pig was up to. What're we doing with Sweet-P?" "Moving him to town," replied Finn. "I'll take him with me. I'll get him stashed with somebody I trust."

The pair left the house and went back down the path. Up ahead, Sweet-P was talking to Star. Calmer now, he stood staring at the wood-nymph, while she stared off into the darkness. "Pretty," said he as he brushed her hair with a fat, sausage-like finger. The little woman frowned up at him. "Don't touch," she muttered. "Not without permission." Sweet-P blushed and glanced down at his feet. Seeing her dad and brother come up, she asked, "what we doing?" "I'm'a take Sweet-P somewhere safe," said Finn. Billy told his sister, "we'll get back to town and write this up." "Right," said Star. She was a little behind on her studies. _Which reminds me,_ she thought. "Hey, dad," she called? Finn, who'd been about to walk away, asked, "hmm?" "Daddy, I... have a little problem at school," the wood nymph explained.

Turning to Sweet-P, Finn said, "go have a seat in my truck. I'll be right there." When the strange man-boy had gone, Finn turned to his beloved daughter and asked, "what's up?" Face gone hot, the little woman explained her issues with her teachers, carefully omitting the fact that she was so often late to class because she followed Billy home every day. An irritated Finn said, "I'll take care of it." While he agreed with his wives and their obsession with having the kids go to school–since he wanted them to have better lives than he did–he drew the line with some yo-yo hassling his daughter because she was trying to make a living for herself. He'd go to the stupid conference and straighten this guy up quick. Giving Star a peck on the cheek, the big man got on his way, leaving Star and Billy alone.

Without a word, Star went and tossed her weapons in the back of her truck. Billy was waiting at the passenger door when she was done. Star climbed into the driver's seat, reached over, and opened his door. As the two buckled themselves up, Billy asked, "are you afraid of me?" Star glanced up with a look of worry in her eyes. Nodding, he said, "you aren't the only one to worry sometimes... I... it's why I never said anything." Star sighed heavily. That wasn't the biggest thing worrying her about him, but she knew better than to bring that up right now. Softly, she said, "be careful, big brother. I... Don't break my heart, ok?"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

"Do we know who sent those men," Bonnie asked? Today she was in a yellow dress that reminded Finn of the Royal Tart dress. A naughty corner of his mind thought that Bonnie fit the term 'Royal Tart' pretty well. It was crazy to think of it, but underneath that bland exterior, Bonnie was a slutty little bitch. He was a little embarrassed to realize that he'd sort of gotten her all heated up at TV's wedding reception. He'd been drunk at the time, but he knew that was a little cruel. Still, he was glad not to have cheated on Simone and Emeraude.

Of course Finn knew what she was really asking. Billy wasn't the only one bothered by just how 'into' Cherry Cream Soda Finn actually was. There was a part of him that feared that Bonnie had thrown herself at him just to deflect his attention from the woman he well knew he shouldn't be in love with. He knew it wasn't true. Bonnie had done all she could to win his love out there in the wilderness after he rescued her from the aliens. Hell, she'd chosen him to be the father of her kids. Still, Cherry was right there in the middle, more or less dividing the two of them, and Finn knew it.

"I've got Bill looking into it," Finn told his boss. As Bonnie bustled around her office looking at this or that bit of paper, Finn explained, "we know a lot of the gangs sort of got cut loose when we brought down the main organization. Some of those guys hitched their stars, and now they're running scared. Plus I've heard rumors that some of the gangs out of Wildberry Kingdom and Warrior Kingdom are butting in..." Bonnie's head whipped around. With a heavy sigh, Finn reminded her, "it was the cost of tearing down Cherry's gang, Peebles. Uh... We're watching for it, but there may be nothing we can do about it. Those guys... They're not gonna' come to me if there's dudes hassling them."

With a heavy sigh, Bonnie nodded. A part of her wished she could have made that bitch her Royal Henchman. It would have been nice to have control over the gangs. If she couldn't stamp out the crime, having some degree of control over just how bad it was could be useful. "Alright, Finn," she sighed. "I know you're doing your best with this. We're... This is my fault. I should have paid more attention to the kingdom. If I'd gotten help for the Spoon of Plenty, we wouldn't be dealing with this mess." Seeing the distress she felt, Finn slipped his arms around her shoulders and hugged her. "We'll make this better, Peebles," said Finn. "Honest."

Bonnie felt herself go very warm at the feel of that. It had been _years_ since she was 'Peebles' instead of 'Your Highness' or 'Bonnie'. She really couldn't help laying her head against his shoulder. Running his fingers through her long, sticky hair, Finn said, "you didn't mean for this to happen, PB. I wish... I'd paid more attention to what Spike was doing. I wish I'd kicked James out again when I found out he was back." He was trying so hard to make her feel better. Sniffing back the tears that wanted to fall, Bonnie nodded.

Turning to look at his handsome face, Bonnie intended to thank him. Instead, she found herself remembering that frustrating night at the reception. Before Finn realized what was happening, Bonnie shoved him into her chair. Then, sitting down in his lap, she slipped her arms around his neck and began to kiss him. It was out of the blue, and it sent a thrill of terror through him. At the same time, he felt a jolt of honest-to-glob _lust_. He wanted to fuck Bonnie in the worst way. When she grabbed his hand and put it on her ass, it was all he could do to resist doing just that.

He had an excuse for the other night. He'd been drunk as a skunk, and totally out of his depth. He could claim he didn't know what he was doing that night, and honestly, he had done a pretty good job of _not_ railing the shit out of his boss. At the same time, what the hell was he going to say now? That he didn't want her? As if! His mind went in an ever-tightening spiral of hunger, shame, and fear as his pretty princess tried to interest him in some of her hot honey-pot. He couldn't really help touching those long legs of hers. Nor could he help enjoying the strange sugary taste of her lips.

As Bonnie sighed past his ear, his strong, _rough_ fingers slowly worked their way up her left leg, teasing her soft flesh through the silky material of her stockings. _Yes,_ she thought. _Do it, Finn. You know what I like._ The tall princess rubbed her hot body against his just to enjoy the feel of his hard muscle against her plush boobies. "Ooooh," moaned the sexy princess as she felt his fingers against her bare thigh. It was much faster than the other night, and she hoped now that he'd do it. She wanted him to do it to her.

Outside, a lone figure stood behind a large bush in the garden, watching the action inside that office with interest. With her boyfriend of twenty years dead and her home burned to the ground, the sex-droid had found herself at loose ends after the gangsters were all rounded up. She'd found herself crashing here at the palace because she simply had nowhere else to go. If you'd asked P-Bot where she would find herself after her creator was rescued, she'd have guessed 'scrap-heap' or maybe tucked away in a storage closet somewhere. Braco was dead, and honestly this latest episode had shown that she was something of a _liability_ to her creator. After all, someone had gone to great trouble to track her down to replace Bonnibel Bubblegum on the throne.

Surprisingly, the princess had shown no inclination to rid herself of her mechanical double, but that just left P-Bot alone and feeling kind of lonely. She'd tried to make herself useful around these parts, and sometimes Bonnie let her work on some of the less critical experiments she had to run in the lab. Still, this was Bonnibel Bubblegum's world, and she wasn't shy about letting her creation know that. P-Bot spent a lot of her time these days in the garden, experimenting with cross-breeding flowers and plants for something to do. She'd already created a new breed of stink-wort that was stronger than anything seen before on Ooo. Of course she'd had to get rid of it shortly after that because the scent was much too strong. Now, as she stood watching that lurid scene through Bonnibel's window, P-Bot found herself taken with the idea of kindling a relationship with Finn.

Inside the office, Bonnie felt Finn's fingers teasing the skin of her inner-thighs just millimeters from her pussy, and she almost screamed in frustration! "Finn," she whimpered. "I... aren't you gonna'...?" Finn was wondering about that himself. His rod was painfully hard in his pants, and the way Bonnie's butt was resting against it wasn't helping that at all. He hadn't had any lovin' in six months! The only affection he got was from Rosie and her five sisters. _You can't cheat on Simone,_ he thought. But there was a way he could give Bonnie _something_.

Finn eased the crotch of Bonnie's panties aside and slipped his thick finger into her hot snatch. "Oooooh," howled Bonnie. She pressed her face into his shoulder and shrieked as she felt that thick digit easing into her. Finn slowly slid that finger in and out of her while he rubbed her button with his thumb. Bonnie's fingers clamped down on his arms at the shoulder, and her hips began to gyrate and wriggle around.

Outside, the sex-droid leaned back against a tree and eased the skirt of her hand-me-down dress up to her waist. Watching Finn get it on with her creator had her turned on. It was like watching him do it with _her_. After all, in a sense she _was_ Bonnibel Bubblegum. Watching the show, she imagined that was _her_ that Finn was toying with. She could imagine what the princess felt as she watched her beautiful creator pinch and claw at Finn's body. Sliding a finger in and out of her own gooey crack, she thought of what it would be like to get some of the fat dick she'd felt when Finn kissed her down in the lab.

Inside the office, Bonnie was experiencing another powerful orgasm. Finn wasn't the only frustrated soul. Bonnie had been thinking of going back on the drugs that suppressed her libido because there were moments she'd thought of simply knocking Finn out and having her way with him. "Aaaaaaoooh, _glob_ ," howled the sexy princess as she went over again. Finn withdrew the invading digits from her hot snatch, and they came free with a nasty squelching sound. Bonnie blushed to her hair, but Finn held onto her, letting her calm down. It was clear from his expression, and the way he refused to look at her that this was as far as he could let himself go. He wasn't going to sleep with her. Bonnie pressed her face into his chest and sighed.

"I-I have to go, Peebles," Finn murmured. "I gotta' go deal with Star's teachers at Toffee High." Bonnie climbed shakily to her feet and straightened her clothes. She honestly needed to go upstairs and wash. Sliding his arms around her shoulders, Finn hugged her. "You know I'll always love you, PB," he murmured. And then he left her there.

Star was climbing the walls outside the school when her father finally arrived. He was ten minutes late, and she was terrified that he was going to be a no-show. Mr. Porker had been a shit all week. He never hit her with anything worse than detention, but he made it clear that he was considering having her suspended. He'd suggested several times that he thought she was forging her dad's signature to the letters he'd sent. If her dad was a no-show here, she was _certain_ she'd get suspended. That would derail her grand plan to get through college in the next year or so.

Most of the other parents had already gone inside, had refreshments, and met the teachers. Many had already had their little _interviews_. As the minutes crawled by, and her dad failed to show, the young lady began to grow increasingly afraid. She'd rather quit honestly, than put up with more of this. She now wanted out of school too. She wanted her degree. She had almost enough classes to get her high-school diploma, but she wanted her degree. Still, when you got down to it, she was no more enamored of school than Fionna. She certainly didn't want to be the last Mertens in Toffee High when her friends were gone and her siblings had already moved on.

Finally her dad came through the door looking dazed and confused. That was a little worrisome too. He wasn't doing a whole lot better than Billy. Clearly depressed, he would sit for hours staring into space. He wasn't spending time on little Van like he should. He wasn't eating. He wasn't sleeping. He was a mess when, right now, she needed him to be sharp. Stopping in the middle of the school's atrium, the big man doffed his bear hat and spent a while running his fingers through his hair while he scanned the room.

Star signaled him, and the big man started across to her. When he was halfway across the room, Principal Poundcake came out of her office and called his name. _That ain't good,_ thought Star. As Finn changed direction, she rose to join him at the Principal's office. She didn't run, but she did hustle. Nevertheless the Principal had her dad in her office and the door shut before she got there. _Shit,_ thought the young heroine. She hadn't had a chance to brief him on what was going on. With a heavy sigh, she went back to cooling her heels on the bench.

Inside the Principal's office, Finn found himself faced with a half-dozen long faces. He hadn't seen so many unhappy campers at Toffee High since Fionna's Epic Food Fight in the cafeteria her freshman year. "Ok," said he, "what gives?" Mr. Porker, the ringleader, started things off. He accused Star of being a truant–hanging out and probably worse. Before Finn could ask what 'worse' meant, Mr. Wilson, the Biology teacher told him that he'd caught Star exchanging messages on her phone in class. She'd refused to let him see what she was doing.

There was a litany of such pronouncements. One of the teachers suspected she had weapons in her locker. Another thought she was turning tricks. That last had Finn ready to belt somebody! In condescending tones, Paula Poundcake calmly said, "we understand how Star has become a troubled child, Mr. Mertens... We just want her to get help..." Finn growled, " _detective_ Mertens doesn't need any help from you idiots. You jerks been hassling my kid for trying to be somebody! I have half a mind to take her out of this dump!"

Angry, Finn got in Peter Porker's face. Jabbing him with a finger, he said, "my daughter works the night-shift to pay for her college classes. When she finishes, she comes here. Then she goes home to look after her little brother. Yeah, she sleeps a lot, jackass. You'd sleep too if your lard-ass worked as hard as she does." Turning to the bigot who'd decided Star had turned streetwalker, Finn snarled, "I guess you figure every nymph must be a ho. Maybe if you weren't tryin'a bang your students you might not think that. If I hear one more rumor, I'm'a run your sorry ass in!" The female was suitably intimidated. Turning to Miss Poundcake, Finn said, " _detective_ Mertens chose to finish up school, but she could do it for _free_ somewhere else. I'd think about that." Without another word, Finn stormed out, violently slamming the door.

Outside, Star shot to her feet at the sight of her dad. He looked pissed as he crossed the room. Star's heart was in her eyes as he approached. Far from ripping into her, Finn the human's face softened as he took in the sight of Star's terrified face. She was going through a lot. When he was within reach, Finn pulled her into his arms and hugged her. Rocking with her there in the atrium, he told his little girl how proud he was of her. "C'mon," said he. "Let's get out of here. Paid night off, kiddo. You're going to get a little rest. Right now, I'm'a buy you a fat, juicy steak." Stunned, Star could only follow her dad out to the parking lot. She wasn't complaining, but she sure as hell hadn't anticipated _this_ turn of events!


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

You could hardly have called this strip of dirt in the middle of nowhere a _road_. There was little more than a pair of tracks cutting through the woods, and there was every kind of hazard you could think of in their path. There were boulders submerged in the mucky soil. There were downed trees that occasionally lay across their path. There were mud-bogs deep enough to swallow the truck whole, and there were hills steep enough that Patrick honestly feared they had no hope of climbing.

And then there was the fucking trailer.

When they had failed to sell all their swag that last day by the ocean, Fionna had jury-rigged that rolling catastrophe together out of bits of this and that, plying the welder with a zest that frankly scared her boyfriend. That trailer had gotten bogged down in every one of those mud-pits and it had hung up on every one of those downed trees. Patrick had suggested on numerous occasions that they just cut it loose. The junk in the trunk wasn't worth it. With all their gear and all their worldly possessions–his portable laboratory and wizard-working equipment and Fionna's blade-making gear–stuffed into the bed of the truck, Fionna had refused. That stuff was money for them, and she wasn't going to leave it.

So Patrick had been in and out of the truck for most of the day, wading through muck and tieing off the winch-cable to whatever tree or rock he could find. He was a little fried. Honestly, he was a _lot_ fried, and it had taken everything he had not to scream at Fi. She was fighting him over trash. She was risking their lives over trash. And that wasn't the worst of what was bugging him. She was exhausted. Fionna was a mess. She was trying to hide it, but after seeing her naked that morning, Patrick was terrified.

Fionna was shrinking.

He'd seen her ribs that morning when she got out of the pond after washing. That was wrong. Fionna hadn't stopped eating. If anything, she was eating more than usual. And somehow she was still shrinking. Running his hand through his hair, he tried not to stare at her. He was afraid. He'd never been so afraid in his life. "I'm sorry," she murmured. Patrick looked up at her in puzzlement. Blushing, she said, "you haven't looked at me once today. That's... Usually you're always looking at me. My boobies or my butt... I guess I really pissed you off..." "Fi," he pleaded. "It's not that... I'm... I just worry about you... about you being tired..."

Fionna frowned at him. She was about to start in with all the usual stuff about just working too hard. Before his eyes, though, something changed. Something inside her just sort of gave way. She stopped the truck right there on the road, and she began to cry. Laying her head against the steering wheel, she began to bawl her eyes out. Patrick had only seen that side of her once before. Quickly unbuckling his seatbelt, he turned, and threw his arms around his girl. "I'm scared," she whined. "I know, baby," he breathed. "We're gonna' find out what's wrong, and we're gonna get this fixed." Unbuckling her seatbelts, Patrick pulled her into his arms and held her. "I love you, baby," he told her. "My life would be a boring hell without you." That made her laugh.

Sniffing back tears, she said, "thanks for putting up with me." Sliding back into her seat, she said, "wanna' camp? We can find something..." Patrick nodded. He didn't think it was safe for her to be driving anyway. She'd been at it all day, and he'd caught her nodding off twice. Fi put the car back into gear, and they set off again, creeping along through the late evening twilight. Both kept their eyes open for a large enough patch of ground where they could stop, lower the bed in the back of the cab, and get some quality sleep. Spotting a bare patch in the glare of the lights, Patrick said, "that looks good, hon..." Nodding, Fionna eased the truck over to the side of the road and pulled up on the margin.

Patrick lowered his window and looked around. "Looks good," he said. The two popped the locks on the doors and climbed out. Fionna set about the job of laying out tripwires to warn them of trouble, stringing them around the truck and trailer and running the wire up to the windows on the driver and passenger sides. Pat got the bed unfolded and laid out blankets and bedding. Rolling up the armored panels over the windows, he got their ride bunkered in. Then he set about helping Fi rig up defenses.

As Fi sat on the step, Patrick cooked dinner on the gnarly grill she'd welded up. It was crazy sometimes to think about their situation. Here they were, the last two human kids in the world. He sometimes wanted to have a kid of his own, but he wasn't sure that was a good idea. It wasn't that he didn't think Fi would be a good mom. No, what concerned him was his own loneliness. He felt it. There had been days where he could scarcely help it. They were the last viable human couple in the world. Where would their child find love?

"Is it that bad," Fi asked? Patrick gave her a look of puzzlement. With a heavy sigh, she said, "you're brooding. You're looking at me and brooding." Flushing, Patrick chuckled, "yeah, babe. Guilty... just not for what you're thinking..." She gave him that cute little 'you're jerkin' my chain' frown. Smiling, Pat said, "I was kinda' feelin' like we shouldn't have a kid, Fi..." That comment sent a shiver through her. They'd never even _discussed_ babies. Suddenly being sick seemed like really small potatoes. Pat sat down beside her, handed her a sausage, and said, "I kinda' been _alone_ all my life. I got lucky. I have _you_. Who'd our kid have?"

Taking her dinner, Fi said, "don't go over-thinking stuff again, Patrick. Who says our kid has to marry a human? I'd be happy with a wood-nymph or a grid-person..." Patrick had to admit he'd never thought of that. And the princess of the grid-face people was _stacked_! Fionna jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow when he said that. "You're stacked too," chuckled Patrick. Fionna laughed. Yes she was. The two shared that laugh for several minutes. Then Fi said, "Patrick?" "Yeah," he replied? Taking a deep breath, she said, "I don't think I'm ready for babies yet. I... we just turned _eighteen_." Which he well knew. Patrick kissed her cheek and said, "we've got time. Eat your dinner."

Done with supper, the two cleaned up their cooking gear, loaded it in the truck once more, and prepared to turn in. Patrick got out of his muck-laden boots, stripped down, and got washed. Then, after getting into his PJs, he climbed into bed with his girlfriend and locked the door. Dressed in her blushes, Fi snuggled in against him–the back of the truck wasn't very spacious–and Patrick slipped his arms around her. He was getting used to that. It no longer gave him a raging hard-on to feel that slammin' body rubbing against him. With his girl falling apart and looking thoroughly wrung out, he wanted rest for Fi not sex.

Hundreds of miles away, Fionna's sister sat in the back of a seedy bar down on the east side of Candy-Town. She was looking for Reapers. This was her specialty, sneaking around in the shadows and hunting up information from people who didn't really want to give it up. Even with the population of wood nymphs greatly diminished in the kingdom, there were still enough around that nobody thought twice about her presence there in the bar. She hadn't gotten so much as a second glance. She'd come discrete today with no obvious weapons, and she now wore a sleeveless blouse in grey, showing she had no hidden weapons up her sleeves.

It was working. The bar patrons were relaxed and talking, doing whatever it was they usually did in these parts. Scuttlebutt was about the new jacks in town. There was a lot of outside muscle working the streets these days. There were dudes from Wildberry Kingdom and even more dudes from Warrior Kingdom. Star filed that away. It was ominous confirmation of her father's fears. Outsiders were filling the vacuum left by Cherry and her dudes.

As she nursed a ciderjack, a big man came in, looking the part of 'warrior-for-hire'. Scanning the scene, he quickly located the little woman in the back of the room. Much to Star's surprise, he made a bee-line for her. Sitting there sipping at cider, with her feet stretched out before her, the wizard girl looked relaxed. Inside she seethed with fear. She could take this man. She knew she could handle one. How many friends did he have? Did he know who she was? Did he know who she worked for? She could be sucked into something bad like Fi and find herself dodging hired killers. With little Van in the mix, that would be disastrous.

"Evening," the wood nymph rumbled. "Hear you're a wizard," the big man said. Star drawled, "maybe. Who wants to know?" The big fellow helped himself to a seat. Leaning forward, the gangster declared, "I've heard good things about you. Also heard you're in need of work." With a shrug, Star replied, "might be. What's the job? And remember, I'm not cheap..."

The thug ordered up a drink. While he waited, he made small talk. "Don't figure a girl like you's a hitter," he opined. Star chuckled. "Why," she asked? "You expecting me to sell ass instead?" Laughing, he replied, "yeah. Ain't that the usual? Beats dodging knives..." Star was taken aback. Her cold and hostile demeanor usually deflected questions like that. The big man said, "I'm a thug. I'm big, I'm not too bright, and I'm not good with thinkin'. But I'm too greedy to be a farmer..." It was a succinct, if damning, self-assessment. Star just stared at him.

As the waitress left, he flung his arms wide and said, "man's got to know his limits, girlie." Grinning, he added, "girls too." Settling in with his drink, he said, "nothin' wrong with girls in the business..." Fascinated, Star replied, "think so...?" Gesturing–he seemed to do a lot of that–the green-skinned giant said, "girl's gotta' eat. Dudes need t'get it. She gets cash to pay bills, dude gets to shoot his wad. Everybody wins. Only people don't see it's the prudes." Star blinked. That was the last thing she would have expected to hear from this man!

Setting his drink down, the stranger said, "anyways... It's a paid hit. You fix our problem; it's a cool ten thousand coins." Star smiled sweetly. Coolly, she said, "I don't usually spend time on donks like you, but you're a nice sort of mook, so I'll give you this warning..." His eyes showed he was listening. Star pulled her feet off the table, leaned forward, and said, "things are hot here. Finn the Human likes to smash a few guys like you before going to breakfast. Right now, it's worth your life to be part of a gang..." Sitting back, the thug seemed to think about that. "I can see your point," he conceded. Nobody wanted the job, and he'd been forced to come down here looking for a girl who may have done work for the candy princess.

The gangster drew a card, saying, "call me if you need a job..." He put the card on the table between them, finished his drink, and headed out. Fingers toying idly with the card, Star watched him go. That had been interesting. Apparently whoever the target was, he was aware of the foreign interests in the kingdom and didn't trust people who were from out of town. She'd follow up on that. In the now, she finished her drink. There were no Reapers here. Paying her tab, the little woman got up and headed out and down the street.

Her mind was on the report she would write up. The investigation hadn't born much fruit so far. She was no closer to understanding who had sent gangsters to the pig's place than she had been the day it happened. Her dad wasn't going to be happy with the news. It just left him with more unknown players and more missing puzzle pieces. Star was just happy to have the teachers at school off her back and to be connecting with her brother again. Billy was civil at least. He still wasn't really talking, but he would greet her when they met in the hallways at work. _One thing at a time,_ she thought. She had him talking. That was better than the alternative, and she had made him understand that she was there to talk to if he could find it inside himself to open up. It was the idea of being alone–of having nowhere to turn–that caused most people to kill themselves. She thought she'd squashed that at least.

Aware of her surroundings as she always was, she spotted the men hanging around near her ride before they made a move. Making a sharp turn to the right, she sauntered off down a cross street. If they followed, that would tell her something. _Need to work on daddy,_ she thought. Her father was alone and feeling abandoned and rejected. Her mothers were off gallivanting around Wizard City, and they couldn't seem to be bothered with calling home. It was seriously frying her ass, and she wanted to give both of them a piece of her mind. Honestly, she would have belted her biological mother for doing this to him. She'd _wished_ to be in his life, and now she was doing _this_.

The three dudes hanging around the car had left her ride and come down the street following her. _So are they cruising for ass, looking for cops, or slaving,_ she wondered? She didn't want to appear dangerous. That would jeopardize her investigation. It was important to be the friendly girl in the bar. Taking a sharp left at the next cross street, she wove a quick illusion, displacing her position fifty feet to the right–across street. Then she waited patiently as the chumps came hustling around the corner. They made a bee-line for her double, doing just what she expected. As they approached the 'girl' standing beside the newspaper rack, the wizard took their measure. _Plums,_ she thought. Why did plums seem familiar?

The pack of plums in their dapper five-hundred coin suits surrounded the figure at the newsrack. "You're coming with us," growled the pudgy one on the right. When the figure said not a word, he hauled off and took a swing. His fist went right through the illusion and smacked into the newsrack-with painful results. Star barely kept herself from laughing her ass off as he howled in pain. Even when they'd seen his fist go through her double, the other jokers decided they needed to take a swing at the illusion too. They got similar results, ending up with busted fingers. That put paid to the show. It was kind of hard to beat somebody up with broken fingers, and the pack of them disappeared as fast as they arrived. Star took the next left, circling back to her borrowed car.

The young woman headed back to Banana Guard HQ to work up a report on what she'd seen and heard tonight. Meanwhile, her sister lay dreaming next to her boyfriend of just over a year. They had both had a little trouble getting to sleep. Keyed up as he was, Patrick had especially had trouble. His worries over Fi had a tight grip on him. Now, seemingly moments after he'd gone under, he heard the sounds of Fi's tripwire jingling. Moments later, he heard muttered curses.

"Fi," he whispered? Muzzily she asked, "huh? What?" Shaking her, he said, "somebody's creepin', Fi. Get up." He had her undivided attention now. Scrambling out of the covers, she crawled into the front of the cab and looked out the broad front windows. She could see figures out there just out of sight. Reaching into the console of the truck, she grabbed her sword, popped open the door, and leaped out. "Shit," growled Patrick, as he fumbled his way out of the bed and jumped out the rear passenger door. Landing there on the mucky ground, he found himself facing a half-dozen figures in the darkness.

 _Need light, Pat,_ he decided. Weaving a spell, he sent a globe of utter darkness flying towards the figures in the trees. At the last second, he pulled on one of the many threads of his spell, causing the object to flare into brilliant, stunning light. Screams and curses rang out from the blinded thugs. Pat leveled two shortly thereafter with sizzling bolts of lightning. More of them came charging in from the front of the truck. Fionna met them head on, dodging, twisting, and turning as they tried to knock her down. "Hey," shouted the blonde! "Watch what you're grabbing, creep!" She jabbed the offending killer in the jaw with her elbow, stabbed him up with her sword, and dodged back from his mate.

Patrick wanted to help her, but he was facing the few men who hadn't been immediately blinded. Blast-bolts did for three. And then he was diving under the truck as they tried to light him up with arrows in return. "Dammit," howled the wizard as he pretty much ruined his PJs. He went crawling out the other side to find two more mutants there. One tried to stab him in the head with a rusty sword. Patrick got him with a blast-bolt. The other jumped back and shot at him with a repeating crossbow. The Thief King seemed to be running out of money. Earlier in the year, it would have been dart guns.

"I told you creeps t'keep your hands off my _boobies_ ," howled Fionna! He heard a scream, but it wasn't hers. Somebody had just died. Patrick zapped the last man in front of him and crawled out from under the truck. Fionna was more than holding her own against the pack of thugs facing her. They always made a bee-line for her. If they spent energy on Patrick at all, it was as an afterthought. That bothered the wizard. He was the guy. Besides, he felt just as responsible as Fi for the death of the Thief King's son.

Standing there in just panties and shoes, with those titanic tatas hanging out for all to see, Fionna Mertens screamed at the biggest mutant thug, "can't you stupid fucks leave us alone for just one night?! Why'd you have to keep fucking with me?!" She kicked him in the knee and broke the knee-cap, dropping him on the ground. The thug backpedaled before those bodacious boobies as Fionna began kicking him in the head and sides of his body. As he crawled backwards, she kicked him in the chest. She kicked him in the arms. She kicked him in the head. She even kicked him in the 'nads. She took great pleasure in giving a rather painful _foot-job_ to the mutant. The sight of all that violence leveled against their biggest man sent the remaining few dudes running into the night.

"Fi," Patrick called. She kept on kicking. " _Fi_ ," shouted Patrick! Only then did she stop. "We should get some clothes on," the wizard said. "Right," said Fionna. "You go first. I'll stand guard." Laughing, Patrick said, "maybe I want my girlfriend to put some stuff on. I kinda' like the bare-ass look, but I don't like other dudes enjoying the show." Blushing, Fionna giggled girlishly at him. Which was actually a little creepy in a way. At the same time, that was his Fionna. She gave him a smokin' hot kiss, then got back in the truck to get dressed.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

"Hey, baby," said Emeraude.

Before Lollipop's eyes, Finn the Human perked up. Excitedly, Finn greeted his wife with, "hi!" Rising from where he'd been feeding Van, he walked into the living room. "Where you at," he asked? Emeraude answered, "the village..." It half came out as a chuckle. Her relations had been forced to come back here and rebuild after being tossed from the Candy Kingdom. She'd half-expected to be run out of town when she showed up.

Alarmed, Finn said, "be careful, E..." Laughing, the wizard replied, "you worry too much, donk. I'm here with Simon and Betty. It's cool." In fact, things had been going very well. "Lots of us have the spark," explained the bad-girl. "Betty's trying to sign 'em up to vote as a block." Finn goggled. "Th-that could swing the whole election," the hero stammered. "Yup," the wizard agreed. He could tell she was having fun with this. "Ok," said Finn. "I-I'm glad things are going so good..." Frowning, the wizard asked, "you alright?" He didn't sound like himself. "Yeah," he lied. "I-I'm good."

Just as Emeraude was about to dig into that, Betty Petrikov stuck her head out the door and said, "you coming?" With a sigh, Huntress Wizard told her husband that she had to go and hung up the phone. She wore her unhappiness like a coat as she followed Simone's mom into the council hall. Something wasn't right with Finn. He sounded depressed–nothing like her happy-go-lucky donk. She hadn't been doing well with that lately. Honestly, she couldn't remember the last time she'd been on the phone with him more than ten minutes, and she'd been badly neglecting the kids. Her daughter had been getting increasingly shrill, and she'd sort of lost track of what was going on with Billy and Fionna.

She needed this, though. Her people needed this. There were tens of thousands of her kind wandering the wide world, and they were often abused. It was almost a cliché. If you were a thirsty dude, you could hit any shady cat-house in just about any town and find a nymph either imprisoned there and turning tricks against her will or selling it to whoever wanted a piece. Ironically, Finn had sort of made a change in her. She'd come to see that it wasn't enough to smash the smuggling rings. It wasn't enough to jail the women who used drugs on their johns. It wasn't enough to fight the little pieces of the rather sordid puzzle. She had to go to the root of the problem. There needed to be a _home_ for her kind–some kind of real society. They had to start thinking of themselves as a block instead of individuals making their way. This was a way to _show_ them that they had power together.

Striding into the meeting hall, Emeraude scanned the crowd. Everyone in town knew who Huntress was. She was known on sight. That was good and bad, but in balance it was good because it made her something of an authority. Everybody knew that you didn't trifle with Huntress, and everybody knew her character. Huntress Wizard didn't think much of the ho's and harlots, but she would be right there in the trenches smashing slavers who thought they would pick up fresh meat here. She didn't care for women who thought to use compulsion or drugs to land a companion, but she also wasn't interested in taking what someone else had either. Betty planned to make use of her fearsome reputation, and Emeraude was eager to help. She had her issues with Simone's mom, but if this advanced her cause, she would be right there at Betty's side.

Striding up the aisle, the wizard woman scanned the faces on the council dais. Her aunt, Marphisa, was there. The great Matriarch of the Clan was there as well, looking surprisingly healthy and youthful in spite of her three-hundred years of life. The other council members, young and old were in their places. Belisarda, Mistress of the Kitchen, who was responsible for the Alms-Kitchen that cared for the old and those too poor or ill to support themselves. Audrey, the Chief Healer. Sebua the Lawkeeper, who kept the peace–such as it was–in town. Huntress remembered them all. Audrey had made her an apprentice, teaching her magic until she'd shown a proclivity towards violence. Sebua had tried to control her–guilting her for the things she did and assigning harsh punishments until Emeraude Baudin called her a hypocrite one day. Last they had spoken, she had threatened Huntress with arrest and expulsion.

They all stared at the young-old woman who came up that aisle. They stared at Emeraude Baudin even more so than at the strangers, though several faces there were sizing up Simon and reckoning their chances against the wizard women. It was all about the main chance. Simon could be an asset to a lonely woman. Of course, they reckoned without the hostile wizard-woman that called the bean-pole _husband_. It was worth your life to trifle with Betty over Simon. The tall woman gave more than one of those thirsty bitches the _stare_ as they made their way down the aisle, while beside her, Huntress absorbed all of those subtle interactions as they approached the Council. The way she saw it, this should go fairly easily.

As the little delegation stopped before the dais, Huntress's keen eyes picked out the one thing she _wasn't_ expecting. Her mother was sitting there right behind the Matriarch in a position of honor. _What the fuck,_ thought the wizard? The last she'd seen of this bitch, she was taking a one-way ride out of the Candy Kingdom. She'd literally been put on the street with whatever junk she could gather up on the spot. How was it that she was _here_?! More to the point, what was she doing behind the Matriarch, and what did that mean for their cause?

Back in the treehouse, Finn went back to the kitchen and sat down with his son to resume feeding him. "Everything ok," asked Lollipop? Distracted, Finn nodded. His mind was on all the dangers that his wife faced in that miserable village of hers. There were a lot of pissed-off nymphs who wanted Huntress's hide for kicking them out of their cushy world here in the Candy Kingdom, and E's mother was at the top of the list. He didn't like the way Simon and Betty had just roped his girls into their business, and he was starting to think that bad stuff was going to come out of this.

Just then Star came out of her room, looking wrung out and tired. He knew she'd gotten next to no sleep the day before, and that was another thing that was bothering him. He let her take these undercover jobs because she was good at it. She'd developed skill at it doing his dirt when he was tied up with Cherry. He'd promised to let her off the hook, but somehow that decision never really got traction. Star needed the money, and he needed her to keep doing what she was doing.

Schlupping up to the kitchen table in her PJs, the little woman sat down, her eyes looking bloodshot. It was hard to believe, but his child was all grown up. All his kids were. That made him proud, but it also made him very alone. Shaking off that thought, Finn moved on to the business at hand. Leaning forward, he asked, "how did it it go?" His answer was a bout of yawning.

Before Star could answer, Lollipop interrupted with, " _Finn_! Can she at least _eat_ first?" Blushing to his hair, the big man asked, "you ok?" Yawning and stretching, Star muttered, "yeah." Lollipop put some food in front of her face. Finn was a little embarrassed to realize that he'd been expecting her to just go charging in when she probably hadn't eaten since yesterday. He waited on her to begin it.

After getting some of her dinner down, Star said, "I didn't find Reapers, daddy. They're not hanging out in their old spots..." Finn's face took on a thoughtful expression. Star said, "I did get propositioned by a couple of new Jacks looking for muscle. It's like you feared, dad. There's foreign talent muscling in. Some of it's from Wildberry Kingdom. A lot's from Warrior Kingdom. With Cherry out of the way, those guys are muscling in on the rackets here."

It was atrocious news for Finn. The Reapers could already be in somebody's pay! If that somebody was in another kingdom, he had no way to lay his mitts on them. They would be untouchable! More to the point, they were no closer to understanding the motivations of the men who'd invaded the Pig's place. Were they looking for him, or were they looking for Sweet-P. Knowing that nobody was supposed to know who the mutant boy was did little to offer Finn comfort. Sweet-P was the Lich. There was no escaping that fundamental fact. Sweet-P was the Lich given a living, breathing form. If the Lich's consciousness or whatever ever managed to escape whatever cage it was in within Sweet-P's body, all of Ooo was in danger. It was no lie to say that the very idea kept Finn awake at night.

"Well," said Star, "the Pig was muscle for them, daddy. That may be why they broke into his house. All the gangs are looking to pick up hired hands to do their dirty work. He was one of the worst." Finn shivered. He would never forget seeing the arm laying there on the floor next to the Pig. Chewed off. He'd chewed some dude's arm off. He'd just snacked on the fella's bicep! And he wasn't even freaked about it! That was the worst part about it. Preston Pig didn't seem to care if he was munching on dude or his dinner!

Polishing off dinner, Star said, "I'm'a go get cleaned up for work, daddy. Then I might spend some time with you and Van before work." Finn nodded. He was clearly distracted, and he said not a word as his daughter got up and went to the bathroom to wash. He didn't pay much attention as Lolliop cleared the table, and even less as she checked Van over and looked at his diaper. It was only the sound of her clearing her throat that got his attention again.

Finn looked up to find her standing there dressed in one of her trademark tight dresses. This one barely came down below her butt. Her brown eyes seemed to sparkle as she said, "I've laid out bottles for him. He's good to go until you drop him off with me in the morning. There's fresh diapers in the linen closet, and he's clean and washed." Rising, Finn thanked her. Taken with a notion, he said, "I-I'll walk you to the door." The big man walked their 'baby-sitter' down the wide, spiraling stars of his home to the front door.

"A gentleman as always," said Lollipop. Leaning over, she kissed his rough lips, startling him. She kept that contact just a moment too long, and he was almost ready to jump back from her. There was a twinkle in her eye as she walked out the door, and she smiled back at him as she made the turning at the bottom of the driveway. Finn felt a shiver of fear as he shut the door. His mind went back to a day nearly twenty years ago. Lollipop Girl had come on to him when he got back from taking out the last of his father's henchmen. He'd gotten himself away from her and made sure he never put himself on the spot with her again, but now he had no Simone or E to hide behind. He was in a dangerous spot with his wives out of town and girls taking every chance to jump at him. And what was he going to do? Tell her not to come back? He and Star weren't here enough to look after Van themselves.

Shaking his head, he went back upstairs to the kitchen. Picking up Van, he went into the living room and sat down on the couch. That was where Star found him, sitting on the couch, staring into space while Van played hide-and-seek using his shirt-tail. The pretty teen swooped down, picked up her little brother, and kissed him, making him giggle. The little guy tittered and giggled as Star tickled him. Sitting down beside her father, Star considered telling him about the stuff Billy was going through. One thing stopped her. She had nothing really to tell him. Her brother had plenty of reasons for acting the way he was. That didn't mean he was suicidal.

"I'm sorry I pulled you into this," Finn announced. It was out of the blue, and it told Star all she needed to know about what he was thinking and feeling. "I pulled _myself_ , dad," the wizard replied. Shaking her head, she said, "you and moms were right, daddy. I played with fire. Only _we all_ got burned instead of me. Daddy, it's me who should apologize..." Finn leaned over and hugged her. "I'm sorry," Star sighed. Then, "daddy, I-I'm worried about Bill..." "Makes two of us," Finn replied. She wasn't the only one to notice and dislike the personality changes. "W-what do we do," Star stammered? With a shrug, Finn replied, "we watch. We stand back, let him live his life, and we stand ready to catch him if he falls." Sniffing back tears, Star nodded. She'd be doing just that.

Back in the wood nymphs' forest, Emeraude came walking out of the Gathering Hall with her little party, looking dazed and confused. She wasn't entirely sure what had just happened. They didn't quite get what they wanted, but things didn't go completely in the ditch either. The Matriarch had denied the vote. She wasn't going to let Simon have her daughters. At the same time, she intended to _study_ matters. Emeraude was at a loss. Rarely did the Matriarch draw out a decision. It was a mystery, and the prickly wizard liked that less than teasing. One thing was certain though, her mother was tied up in things, and that was bad news indeed.

She'd seen the older woman whispering at the Matriarch's handler on more than one occasion. Couple that with her position behind the dais there in the hall, and that told the wood nymph wizard that Marjolaine Baudin somehow had gained influence on the Matriarch and her cabinet. _Marphisa might know,_ thought the Huntress, as she stood there in the cool evening air staring up at the moon. Marphisa wasn't much for politics. Much like her niece, she had short patience with all the maneuvering. Still, Marphisa Baudin kept an ear to the ground. She knew what was going on in the forest even if she didn't participate in it.

"We need to regroup," muttered Betty. "We need to get a handle on this..." Looking at an exhausted Simone, Simon replied, "we need to _rest_ , princess. We've been grinding three weeks straight." Betty turned and glared at her husband, but Simon didn't back down. With a heavy sigh, the tall brunette replied, "ok. We'll head back to our rooms."

Marjolaine Baudin came out with her own coterie of clingers and troublemakers. Standing in the shadows of the entry, she watched her shit of a daughter go off towards the town's hostel with her miserable friends. The bitch had nerve. She had a set of brass ones coming back here after what she'd done. Marjolaine knew a hundred or so people who would gladly have stripped the cunt naked, beat her within an inch of her life, and tossed her ass out on the road for the slavers to find. Let the famous 'Huntress' find her way back from _that_. In the now, it didn't matter. Marjolaine had an appointment to keep.

Turning away from the entry, she headed north, slipping down the street to an alleyway that was just off the village's main drag. On the way, she passed rowdy bars and all night brothels where the folk of this community practiced the oldest profession. The mad little bitch wanted them to cast aside the one thing that brought hard cash into the village for her nebulous hope of electing somebody to go to Wizard City. It was mad on its face!

The alleyway she ducked into was dark, and, ordinarily, no wood nymph was fool enough to risk life and limb in such a place. This was their forest, but the hard reality was that Sebua could barely keep the peace in the bars. She'd made it very clear that you were on your own if you chose to go a-roaming in the night. Most of the folk of the Clan stayed out of the shadows when night fell. The wood nymphs of the forest traveled in groups and kept their doors locked against those they might not know. Marjolaine had lived that life for the better part of a century. She had her working place. She went down with a friend or a sister as the sun was setting, and she stayed there until the sun had returned. Now, she no longer feared the dark. She was untouchable here.

The former harlot came to a blackened wood door that looked as though it had been dipped in filth and left to soak there for a few decades. The wood glistened as if wet, even in the dim light of the summer evening. Marjolaine stroked the worn panel with the tip of a finger. Before her eyes, the door creaked open on rusted hinges. She was conscious of the eyes that watched her. She had ceased to fear them. They were _her_ eyes now.

Stepping inside, she didn't wait for the door to shut itself. She went down the hall, her heels clicking on the rough board floor. She'd landed in this worn-out store when her daughter exiled her. She'd landed here with little money and no worldly goods. She'd barely escaped with a little clothing. Now she was the most powerful person in the forest, and few, if any, realized it.

Arriving in her sanctum, the nymph passed the awful creatures arranged around the circumference of the room. The Dipped had come from every walk of life. Some had been beggars, snatched from the street. A few had been fantastically wealthy. Some were johns. They had come to get a piece of ass and gotten far more than they bargained for. Several were women who'd come tracing the travels of the caravans, looking for the missing. Two were wood nymphs who'd asked too many questions. They terrified the former madam's minions and associates.

Sitting down on the straw mat there in the darkness, she turned to the creature nearest the door and spoke a one-word command, "come." The creature stepped forward, it's face barely recognizable as that of a humanoid out of Warrior Kingdom under the oily black sheen of corruption that coated its body. "Well," the creature asked? The question carried anger and hostility in spite of the cold, emotionless tone of its delivery. Coolly, Marjolaine replied, "my cunt of a daughter's here with the man you mentioned. They say they wish to organize our votes in support of his bid for power in the City of Wizards. I stopped them. For now."

The angry voice responded, "they shall not succeed! That man is a danger to my plans!" Marjolaine inclined her head and said, "the Matriarch wishes to hear their words..." She didn't remind her patron that she'd wanted to off the old bitch. She'd had the chance. Her patron had called her off and admonished her from trying again for fear of Finn the Human's intervention. "For now, merely thwart their efforts," the voice rumbled. "Counter their campaign and distract them as you can. I'll work on a more permanent answer to Simon Petrikov."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

The pig was on the move. Heading down Salt Street, he looked like he was just on a stroll, and only the watcher on the rooftop could have told you differently. The watcher had been following him for a couple of hours now. The pig had started the evening in a hotel room off Cocoa Grove Parkway, watching unsavory sex-shows on the TV. Having gotten discharged from the hospital several days ago, he'd skipped out on going to see his adopted son. Instead, he'd gone and hidden out on the unsavory side of town. Billy the Human had sat for days watching that hotel, keeping track of the pig's every movement. Of course it was _Star_ who got the unsavory job. Using illusions, she took a job as a maid. She'd been in that nasty hotel room six times already, and she'd had to dodge the pig's fast hands every time.

The little woman had come back with two pieces of information. One, the porky bastard was a lech with some creepy habits, and two, he was making moves of his own. The pig had made it easy for her. He was far more interested in squeezing her ass than keeping his business on the down-low. That was how Billy knew to have one of their dudes waiting on him. In point of fact, the watcher on the roof was only there to make a show out of following him.

The pig turned down Rye street, entering the home stretch. Stopping at a gas-station/convenience store, he spent a little while at the magazine rack, looking at girly mags. Then, after buying some candy, he asked for the key to the toilet. As his shadow watched, he came out, went into the men's room on the side of the building, and locked the door behind him. The shadow on the roof sat down and took up a vigil on the door.

Miles away, in Banana Guard headquarters, Bonnie Bubblegum frowned at the screen. "How is it the tracer's moving if he's in the _can_ ," she asked? Finn wore an expression of pure anger. Sweet-P was upset. He'd been looking forward to seeing his adoptive father when he left the hospital. He'd been a wreck the last few days, constantly worrying that his dad would die and leave him. To hear that his dad had gotten out of the hospital but hadn't come to see him...

Of course where Sweet-P was upset, Finn was beyond pissed. He wanted to cut the fat porker's guts out. He was responsible for Sweet-P's very existence. It had been _his_ idea to leave Sweet-P with Tree-Trunks. With Tree-Trunks gone, that left the pig looking after him. And the pig was up to no good. Voice thick with anger, Finn muttered, "he dropped into the sewer." Bonnie gasped. That was terrible! Finn was right. This bastard was playing some kind of game. He might be working with the gangs. Based on his past history, he probably _was_ working with the gangs. A startled Bonnie asked, "what do we do now?" Calmly, Finn replied, "we wait."

The tracer wove its way through the underways of the city for a block before emerging at a storm drain. Then the electronic device continued on for several miles before finally coming to a stop at a familiar location. _Brickhouse's Bar,_ thought Finn. That was the place they'd met the pig's associates more than twenty years back. The barkeep had introduced them to Jaybird and Smudge, late, unlamented members of the Cherry Soda gang. Charlie, the bartender, was mobbed up, and most everybody in the city knew it.

Down at Brickhouse's, the pig slipped along the back wall, bound for the private room in the back where he was going to meet the client. The name of the game was the Houdini. They asked him to make inconvenient problems disappear, and he did just that. Few asked what he did with the unfortunates. Fewer still asked again. Reaching the back of the bar, he carefully knocked, heedful of the many faces that might be watching. He was under surveillance. He'd seen a couple of stiffs hanging out at the hotel who flat didn't belong there. He'd seen a couple of characters at the watering-hole near his room, and he'd read them too. Having dumped the joker following him, he was confident that he was in the clear, but he was still careful all the same. He hadn't gotten to where he was by being careless.

The door opened on a dimly lit, smokey room. Slipping inside, the pint-sized assassin gave the room the fish-eye as the door shut behind him. There were three men there. He recognized one as his contact. The other two were unknowns, but had the look of Lutefisk St. Berserkers out of Warrior Kingdom. He was in the right place. The Berserkers had money. They could protect him and the boy while supporting them in a house somewhere. Preston Pig opened with, "evenin', fellas. Come to see about the job..." The big man in the middle sat back in his chair, his rippling muscles announcing that he wasn't that far removed from cracking heads himself.

"You don't look like a hitter," said the muscle-man. The pig chuckled, "you guys get it all wrong. S'why you're always in hock with Finn the Human... You leave them bodies out, it always gets tracked back to you. I pop the chump, then I make him just disappear..." Frowning, the thug asked, "and how do you do that?" The pig chuckled, and his contact admonished the customer, "trust me, you don't really want to know the answer to that..." The pig grinned. The man on the left declared, "I'd heard you were retired..." "Got married," said the pig. Shaking his head and grinning, he said, "a good woman'll do that to you."

Drawing the conversation back to the business at hand, the big man asked, "how much? We have six men who need to disappear..." "Thirty-thousand coins each," replied the assassin. The two men erupted, but the pig held his ground. He would have to do a lot of eating to make six dudes disappear. It wasn't so bad when they were candy-people, but some of the mutants turned his stomach. As the men in that room bickered and battled over the cost of six men's lives, the skylight above them shattered. A lone figure dropped into the room. Landing with a thump, the lithe figure did a neat tuck and roll, and came up firing. Hurling bolts of ice, the figure froze the big man and his sidekick.

The man at the door opened his jacket, revealing an array of throwing knives. The newcomer froze the air around his neck, choking him before he could hurl even one. The pig was on his feet and running for the door, but Billy Mertens froze the lock solid. Striding past the pig's contact, he jammed his elbow into the side of the candy-person's head, knocking him out cold. "Uh, yeah," rumbled the pig as the Ice-King's grandson came striding towards him. "I... I guess I'm in trouble, huh...?"

In short order, the pig found himself in a chair in front of a very angry Finn the Human. Red-faced with his features contorted in rage, the big man looked like he might very well go digging through Preston Pig's skull, looking for the answers he was seeking. Unfortunately, for the pig, he didn't really have those answers. The meeting had gotten broken up before he got any deets on the job they wanted done. Squirming in his chair and praying for an exit–even if it meant jail–the pig was completely off his guard when his wife's old friend asked the most painful question of all. Slicking back his long, blonde hair, the Captain of the Guard growled, "how could you do this?! How can you do this to Tree Trunks' memory! She had _faith_ in you!"

It was a question that he'd been asking _himself_ for a long, long time. This wasn't his first brush with going back to his old bad habits. Staring at the floor between them, the former hitman broke down. "I... I'm sorry, man," he sobbed. "I... It ain't been easy. Finn, I'm broke. I've... I been skatin' by, but I spent a lot of the cash I had from jobs... Man, them pies ain't the same when I make 'em. People don't buy 'em like when she made 'em." Finn stopped in mid-rant, his eyes burning a hole through the pig's forehead. Scrubbing at his eyes, Preston Pig said, "I'm sorry, man... I'm so sorry. I know I let P down... I-I need another chance, Finn. I swear I'll do better..."

Finn didn't answer. Instead, he stormed out and slammed the door behind him. The pig turned to the great hero's son, but Billy hardly looked in a mood to listen. Indeed, for Billy, this was a betrayal every bit as bad as JJ's. In one breath, he was telling you everything you wanted to hear. Then, behind your back, he was committing every kind of evil act. If Billy had his way, they'd throw the book at him. He'd be _under_ the jail.

In Finn's office, Bonnie found herself confronted with a side of Finn that she'd only seen once before. When his father had kidnaped Bonnie, Finn had been willing to move Ooo itself to save her. He'd been an emotional wreck, and he'd exacted a terrible vengeance on his dad. It was clear that, much as he feared the Lich, he cared about Sweet-P. "Finn," Bonnie called. Finn stopped his pacing. The princess glided over to her former boyfriend. Softly, she said, "you did what you could, Finn, and this isn't _your_ fault. He could have asked for help. Instead, he chose to do what he's always done." Face red, Finn nodded. "Let him be punished," said Bonnie. "We'll give him a year in prison if he pleads guilty." "Ok," muttered the Captain of the Guard.

Going to his desk, he punched the intercom and summoned his son. When Billy arrived, he found his dad pacing the floor, looking like he wanted to hurt someone or something. "Take him to lockup," muttered Finn. "The lawyers can deal with him in the morning." Nodding, Billy hesitated there for a moment. He could _see_ the rage behind his father's eyes, and he recognized it. He _knew_ that anger. It was the same anger he found staring back at him from the mirror every morning. For a moment, Billy thought of reaching out to his father. The moment seemed wrong, though. There was a perp in the interrogation room and reports to write up. And his dad still had to figure out what to do with Sweet-P. Acknowledging the order, Billy turned and headed out.

When he'd gone, Bonnie cross the room to her Champion's side. Taking his hand, she said, "Finn, you shouldn't blame yourself for this. We'll find a safe place for Sweet-P to stay. We'll get him a change of scenery..." "What am I gonna' tell him, Peebles," murmured Finn? " _We_ will tell him the truth, Finn," said Bonnie. "We're going to tell him that his father broke the law and did some ugly things. We'll tell him that his father will be released when he's paid for his crimes." It was exactly what Finn had been promising to tell his son.

Bonnie's touch calmed him. Finn turned and thanked her. That did make him feel better. Staring into her blue eyes, Finn felt the pain of his love for her. This was why he loved her. Reaching up, he cupped her face in his hands. After a moment's hesitation, he leaned forward and kissed her perfect lips. Bonnie felt her heart flutter a moment. Leaning into that kiss, she slipped her arms around his waist. For several moments they stood there, sharing that moment. Then, realizing what they were doing–and the risk of doing that in such a public place–Bonnie broke that embrace.

Finn's face was red-hot. With a smile, Bonnie drew her handkerchief and wiped the lipstick from his face. Her eyes said it. If he still loved her, the reverse was just as true. "Good night, Finn," she said. Turning around, she walked across his office, and he could tell she was doing that thing girls did to make their butts wiggle. He couldn't help himself. When Bonnie stopped at the door, he was enthusiastically watching that beautiful bottom wig-wag back and forth with every step Peebles took. She'd said she wore dresses because people got distracted by that fantastic ass when she wore pants and shorts, and he believed it. _Wow,_ he thought.

"Finn," Bonnie giggled. Finn glanced up into her beautiful eyes with a fierce blush on his face. He'd just been caught watching his boss's butt. Standing at the door, she said, "I plan to come by later." Something in her voice told him, she wasn't coming by to talk about the pig. "I'll see you then, PB," he replied. "Good," said the princess. And then she went out that door, shutting it behind her.

Over in the Grey Forest, Huntress Wizard came slipping into her aunt's house after spending much of the evening following her mother's flunky. She found her aunt sitting there at the kitchen table reading a trashy novel of all things and looking as though she was expecting her niece. "What gives," rumbled the wizard? Marphisa Baudin glanced up from her novel and replied, "I have trouble sleeping some days, Emeraude. It's the consequence of the life I've lived." Emeraude stared at her a moment. Her aunt had seen much of the world–too much. She _knew_ that. Oldest of the wizard's many aunts, Marphisa had been on her own for more than a century. She'd traveled the world, making her way on her wits as much as on her back. It stood to reason that she had... _issues_.

"You were gone a long time, child," the older woman remarked. The wizard glanced away. Marphisa had a point to make, and that point wasn't long in coming. "You shouldn't be here," Marphisa opined. Emeraude Baudin frowned at her, but Marphisa wasn't going to take that back. She never stopped staring at that book as she calmly explained, "you have a mate, Emeraude Baudin. How many of us can honestly say that we have a _mate_?" The wizard flushed. Many nymphs could claim they had a _man_. A few could even claim they had a _husband_. Most of those men were patsies–dogs to be used and abused until they were all used up. Very few nymphs could say they had a _partner_.

"I have to do this, aunt Marphisa," murmured the wizard. "Finn understands." And she laid out all her arguments. Their race was dieing. The few of them that were left were no more than living chattel–fuck-toys for the wealthy or, if they were lucky, prostitutes for whichever madam or pimp could protect them. If she succeeded in this, she could change their destiny. "Do _you_ understand," asked the older woman? "Really?" Nodding at the room where Simon and Betty slept, the older woman said, "she's not concerned with our race. She's only concerned with the trappings of power. This is her chance to grab at power, and she will burn up anybody she needs to in order to gain it. That's her mate. That's their child. That's even _you_ , Emeraude. There's a darkness in her, one that's been there much of her life. I don't even think _she_ realizes it's there. If you go down this road, you risk losing everything you've built. Ask yourself why you would risk that?"

And just as suddenly as she'd started, Marphisa Baudin stopped talking, leaving her niece just staring at her. The younger woman knew this mood. Her aunt felt she'd said what needed to be said, and she intended to say no more. If Emeraude chose not to listen, so be it. With a heavy-hearted sigh, the younger woman rose and went into the room she shared with Simone to get a little sleep. There was a lot of work that needed doing tomorrow.

Brushing her teeth in the bathroom the following morning, the wizard found herself reflecting on what her aunt had said. It was good advice. Marphisa had lived long enough that all the evil motivations that typically drove their kind were absent–or at least no longer so important. Marphisa had raised seven daughters and had five companions over the course of her long life, and she knew the sorts of things that motivated men and women both.

"You seemed a little anxious last night," opined Simone. Emeraude flushed. She knew she'd been a little thrashy. She'd had bad dreams. Softly, she said, "I-I'm ok." Simone nodded. It wasn't the first time. Simone and Finn both put up with a lot of that. She'd accidentally given Simone a black eye once in the early days. Far from getting sore about it, the younger woman went out and found a calming remedy that helped the wizard sleep. After spitting out the toothpaste in her mouth, Emeraude stood there a moment staring into the mirror. What was she? _Who_ was she without her husband? Who was she without _Simone_? They had become defining parts of her life. Simone was a lot of why she was here.

At the same time, she could see that her aunt was right. Betty was pushing this. Betty had been driving the train on this from the start. This was more _Betty's_ campaign for office than Simon's. Simon was the same sort of happy-go-lucky sot that Finn was. He was good at heart without a bad thing to say about anyone. He took the lumps and bumps the world threw at him and kept on keeping on. They were the same–two sides of the same coin. Would Finn have been here pushing to be ruler of the Candy Kingdom? Would he have dumped his family to go campaign for it?

"Simone," murmured the wizard? "Yes, dear," replied the Ice-Queen? "What if... what if we're...," stammered Emeraude? "Simone, why are we here?" Simone gave her a very puzzled look. "W-we haven't been home in _months_ ," rumbled the wizard. Simone flushed. Now she understood what her friend meant. She'd spent many nights in the early going worrying about her son and thinking about their husband. She worried about Fionna, who had more or less chosen self-exile to prevent the mad ruler of Thief City from hurting their family. She'd _buried_ all of that. She'd buried it all under an endless string of meetings.

"You guys done in there," demanded Betty? "I need to go!" Startled, the twosome hustled to finish getting dressed and rushed to the breakfast table. Marphisa had a hearty breakfast of venison sausage slathered in acorn-gravy with a side of hotcakes made from seasoned oats. The pair settled on either side of Simon and dug in. Emeraude wanted to talk some more to Simone, but the moment was lost. Talk turned immediately to the business that brought them here.

Simone carried much of the conversation, letting the wizard fade into the background. Much of it was talk of the send-off planned for the Grand Master. As Elder Wizard of Ooo, Simon was going to have pride of place. Coming to a decision, Emeraude excused herself, leaving the other three to the business of planning how they were going to make a big impression at the funeral. She slipped into one of the bedrooms, shut the door, and called her husband.

Finn was at his desk and wading through paperwork when the phone rang. Drawing his phone one-handed, he didn't even check the number before popping it open. "Go," he announced. "Hey, baby," burbled a familiar voice. Soft, sultry, and sensuous, E's voice sent a shiver down his spine. "E," he breathed. His wife chuckled, "who else would it be? Hmm? Bonnie, maybe? Or was it Marceline you were thinking of fucking? Hmm? Was it vampire-pussy you wanted?" Finn's face went red hot. He'd admitted to having a thing for his 'bro' years ago.

"I know you want to fuck her," teased the wizard. "I bet you wish it was you that fucked nasty-boy up her baby-chute instead of a fucking turkey-baster. Do you think she floats when she fucks too?" Her words sent shivers of lust through his body because a lot of that _was_ true. Honest to Glob, he had thought of that a lot in the last year or so. When he was really horny, sitting by himself at home, he'd fantasized a couple of times about banging Marcy that day in her house when he'd come upstairs and found her naked on the bed. He'd fantasized about sticking her and riding her hard. "Think she would be as good as me," asked the wizard? Lost in the fantasy, Finn almost missed that.

Shaking himself, he said, "no. Glob, you're good, babe." "Who sucks your dick the best, honey," asked the wood nymph wonder? "You do," he replied. E could swallow his dong to the root without a problem. Simone had never been as good at that. "So who do you want now," teased the wizard? "You," breathed Finn. "I'd... Glob, I want to taste your pussy. I want to lick it until you scream..." "Mmmm," moaned Emeraude. "Yeah... I'd let you do that to me, 'cause I know how much you like it..." He was certain she was playing with herself, and he wanted to do it too. "Are you rubbing your snatch," he whispered? "Maybe," she giggled.

Finn unzipped his pants and began reaching for his pecker. That was when he heard the sound of someone pounding on a door over the phone. An all-too-familiar voice shouted, " _Emeraude_! It's time!" Then, moments later, "we are _leaving_!" "I gotta' go," sighed the wizard. She hung up just like that, leaving a frustrated Finn ready to scream! Back in the Grey Forest, Huntress Wizard walked out of the bedroom and said, "I was stretching. Slept badly last night." Twisting the ring on her finger in nervous habit, Betty Petrikov said, "it's time. We need to go deal with Marjolaine Baudin." Marphisa gave her niece a warning look. Unfortunately, she was already on the path. It looked a lot like the only way out was to go through with this.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

"I'm sorry, man," said Finn. "Your dad did something very wrong. He's got to stay in jail to pay for what he did." Sweet-P looked so lost and alone that it came close to breaking Bonnie's heart. She felt bad for him. She honestly felt sorry for having to do this. At the same time, this was the fate of Ooo they were talking about. The pig had shown himself to be a very untrustworthy steward for the Lich's Id. Fortunately, she had other options.

Turning to the two candy-people who stood nearby, Finn motioned for them to come over. "P," said he. "You know Rick and AJ?" The two detectives were the best in the Banana Guard. More to the point, Sweet-P knew them well. They were Finn's go-to when he wanted to discretely check up on the pig and Tree-Trunks to see how the Lich's prison was doing. Sweet-P waved to the two detectives. Rick shook the man-boy's hand and said, "hey, dude. How'd you like to take a ride on the train?" "Really," asked Sweet-P? "Can I?" He glanced to Finn and asked, "can I, uncle Finn? I've been really good." Grinning back at him, Finn said, "yeah, man. You get to take a train ride."

Rick and AJ took the strange man-boy away, leading him out of Bonnie's garden. They were bound for Sweet-P's room and then for the train station. Finn wasn't sure this was really a good idea. Honestly, part of him thought they really ought to put Sweet-P in the dungeon. He would be safer there. Bonnie had rooms down there that were pretty flippin' nice. He'd stayed in one after pranking her with glue in her shampoo once. At the same time, he had come to trust Bonnie's judgement. If she thought this was a good approach, he would accept it and move on.

Crossing the garden, he found Bonnie standing there waiting on him. She was dressed to the nines in a yellow gown today done in swatches of lace down the front and with a plunging neckline that went down between her plump boobies. Today's dress was cut to hug her beautiful body and emphasize her broad, curvy hips. She didn't have Simone's bust, but she had a butt that would have given his wife's a run for its money. She'd done her face, and she looked stunning. No sooner had he stepped into her office than Bonnie had shut the door behind him and let the curtain fall. Grabbing him by the shoulders, his old girlfriend spun him around, and then, seconds later, they were kissing.

Meanwhile, in the Grey Forest, Huntress Wizard once more came walking up the aisle in the Gathering Hall. She came sweeping down the aisle ahead of the strangers, wearing her full working regalia–knee-high boots, purple tunic, and enveloping cloak. And on her left forearm was the deadly Instrument that had slain so many. She'd typically gone for subtlety in the years since taking up with Finn the Human. That bracer had sat for more than a decade in the safe in their home in favor of a succession of baubles, bangles, and bracelets. It was a subtle sign to Simone that the gloves were off.

This time, as Huntress Wizard approached the gathered elders of the Clan, her eyes were all for the woman who sat there on the bench behind the Matriarch, subtly manipulating their host. Marjolaine couldn't help noticing that herself. That was a little worrisome. She'd heard some rumblings that the little bitch may have been poking around her operations the previous night. The big question? How much did she know?

Striding forward, the warrior-wizard stopped before the Matriarch, offering no bow and no formal greeting. The gloves were off, after all. Betty had argued with her about this. She'd wanted to try and do this on the sly. She'd wanted to just drop the evidence in a convenient place and walk away. Emeraude Baudin had cut that line of thinking off short. In a place where everybody was scamming everybody else, it would simply look like just another frame-up job. Better to confront her mother in an open forum where she wouldn't have time to think and scheme up a response.

Sebua frowned down her nose at the impertinent little witch. The young wizard always thought much too highly of her powers. She was always too-eager for conflict. Sebua had often wished for something–or someone–to deflate that massive ego. "Do you come here to make war on your own people," the Matriarch asked? Smiling a sinister smile, her eyes fixed on her mother, the Huntress tossed her phone on the table. "Actually," said she, "I thought I'd show you some pretty pictures..." Gesturing with a finger, she caused the phone to turn itself on, revealing a rather damning video.

The women gathered at the table stared in horrified fascination as Marjolaine Baudin's _maid_ auctioned off three of their kind to a mutant from Oceanside. The Lawkeeper glanced up at the wizard, who said, "if you hurry, you might catch them." Coldly, the Matriarch growled, "go and retrieve our kin, Sebua." Bowing until her head touched the table, Sebua replied, "at once, Mother." Rising, she rushed out of the Gathering Hall as if her clothes were on fire. Voice betraying anger, the Matriarch said, "the charge is treason and theft of life, Marjolaine. How do you plea?" "Not guilty, Mother," said she. "I will fight these heinous allegations." The Matriarch rose from her place, announcing, "you are dismissed, Marjolaine. Obviously, I cannot retain you as my advisor at this time."

The older woman rose and stalked out, glaring at her daughter as she passed. Her expression suggested that this wasn't finished. Emeraude wouldn't have had it any other way. There was a burden of hatred between them stretching back seemingly to the beginnings of the younger woman's life. When her former advisor had gone, the Matriarch turned to her visitor and the strange companions she'd brought. "And what would you have of me," the Matriarch asked? "To replace my old advisor...?"

With a shrug, Huntress replied, "what I want is for _our_ people to stand together. What I want is for all of us to come together and build a better life. I have nothing against the Trade, Mother, but is that really all we can offer the world?" Those words–and the shocking tone of certainty they were delivered in–stunned the Gathering. No-one spoke that way to the Matriarch. No-one. The older woman pondered that for several minutes. Finally, she said, "very well, Emeraude Baudin. I will hear your words. Alone." She gestured, and her Speaker rose and began emptying the hall. The Matriarch rose and turned to go through the door to her quarters. Huntress moved to follow. When her mother would have gone after them, Simone stopped her, saying, "she's got to do this, mother." Betty was not happy in the least. She had no control over this, and that greatly displeased her.

Hundreds of miles to the south, Fionna pulled up to the entry of a barren, rocky canyon and stopped. The landscape around them was a uniform shade of grey and came strewn with rocks and the debris of a lost civilization. Ordinarily, it would have been a place that gave the pretty blonde joy. There were bound to be fabulous treasures to grab guarded by fierce monsters. This was a dungeon-delver's _dream_. All the Candy Kingdom dungeons were played out. Her dad and uncle had cleaned them out years ago. Unfortunately the bad bunny had other things on her mind today.

A lot of that was tied to the man in the passenger seat. They had quarreled repeatedly the last few days. He hadn't wanted to sidetrack to chase Penny's losers. Patrick had been far more concerned with Fi's health. He wanted to head for home–where they could see Dr. Princess or go to Wiz City to diagnose Fi's ailment. Naturally Fi wanted to chase down Penny's goons and make an example of them. Just now, Patrick sat there in the passenger seat, pretending to sleep.

Fi sat staring at the canyon for several minutes, feeling the strain of that painful silence. When Patrick continued to say nothing, Fionna snatched the bunny hat off her head. Scrubbing her fingers through her hair, the bad bunny said, "I need to do this, Pat. I need to put a stop to this. I'm not going to drag this back to my family!" Opening his eyes, Patrick said, "you're falling apart, Fionna. You're exhausted all the time now. Is this really the time to have a knock-down, drag-out fight with Penny's dudes?" Turning to face his lover, he said, "I'm your guy, Fi. It's my _job_ to tell you when you're doing something stupid and dangerous. I'd expect the same from you..." After a few moments, Fionna nodded. He was right. She wasn't at full speed or strength.

Popping his lock, Patrick said, "alright. Since we're here..." Fionna blushed. Patrick smiled and said, "look and leave. We'll see what there is here and get out, ok?" Nodding, Fionna hopped out of the driver's seat. Shouldering her pack, Fionna drew her sword out and started walking. Patrick fell in at her side. They went up into the canyon, picking their way over bits of rubble and over boulders that looked like they had been torn from the earth by some titanic force.

Patrick often wondered about that. The whole history of that world had been lost in nuclear fire. Every record was destroyed, and the people were long since turned to dust. Even Bonnie Bubblegum knew little about the war itself. His parents were both from the time _before_ the Mushroom War, but his mother had missed the entire thing. She'd been plucked from the time before the war and deposited a thousand years into the future. The only people to live through the whole business were his father and Marceline Abadeer. Neither of them was very interested in reliving those days. Patrick's innate sense of curiosity had him often aching to see the sort of force that could uproot a boulder that was as big as a house and fling it that way. Glancing over at his girlfriend, who was industriously scanning the terrain around them, he realized that he better pay attention if he wanted to leave this place alive.

He felt giddy some days. He was so in love with her. More even than when she'd been his fantasy idol, Patrick Petrikov was _into_ Fionna Mertens. She was the kind of girl you could settle down with. They could communicate with each other. She was stubborn, and there were times that bugged him. At the same time, she also seemed to have a sense for when she was being a butt. That was more than he could say about his mom. Betty Petrikov would hound his dad until she got her way, and she rarely offered an apology for doing it. Fionna rarely pushed something that hard, and usually it was of vital importance.

Honestly, he could see why _this_ was important. They had made the joint decision to disappear at the end of the rebellion. They'd decided to go on the road as a way of drawing the knives and bullets of the Thief King's dudes away from their peeps. The last thing either wanted to do was bring that right back home! Fi had a little brother who wasn't even a year old, yet! If not for her condition, he would have agreed with her that this needed doing. Any chance to put a dent in Penny's grand plan for them was welcome. "Fi," announced Patrick, "I'm sorry for being stubborn about..." "Shhh," the pretty blonde hissed! Patrick shut his mouth in mid-sentence.

Fionna drew him up against the lee of a massive rockfall. Crouching in the shadow of the jaggedy stone slabs that lay stacked up to the sky, Fionna pointed at something through a gap between boulders. It was a structure. Squinting at it, Patrick frowned deeply. The building looked to have predated the Mushroom War. His mother had shown him pictures of the architecture. This place was made of stacked bricks–masonry construction–and looked like an old factory. It was a creepy, ghost-ridden place. The overcast, sunless sky made it look sinister, giving the broken walls the aspect of jaggedy teeth. Their former prisoner had described it to a T. They'd left him in the swamp, broken knee and all. He was free, but Patrick didn't think he was enjoying his freedom. Turning Fi's face to his, Patrick said, "ok. Let's go in and look around. Ten minutes?" "Ok," she replied. "Ten minutes." Then, with a grin, she added, "I love you, Patrick."

It was crazy. Out of the blue. She rarely said things like that. Under the circumstances, it kind of gave him the willies. This wasn't a great place for that. "Let's do this," he replied. "Stay close. No wandering..." After a moment, he added, "in fact, I'll go first." "Nuh-uh," she said. "I can block arrows, Patrick. I... I wouldn't want to live without you." Another shocking pronouncement from lips that found those words hard to say. He wasn't really sure what was on her mind right now, but he was certain it wasn't good. More to the point, it made him nervous with all they were up against. He'd seen too many old movies where the guy lost the girl right after they exchanged those words.

It came close to killing him to let her take the lead. He was still wondering about that damned sword. He'd noticed how fast Fi moved now. In the early going, he'd just chalked it up to all the training she'd done growing up. Now he had a different answer. It had to be the sword. She sometimes moved faster than the eye could follow. Nobody living could do that–except her dad. Her dad carried a sword with a spell on it that let him move like lightning. It was looking more and more like that fucking sword was causing the problem. Now she was walking ahead of him with that sword in her hands, when he had become all but certain it was draining the life from her.

The two crept through that eerie place, climbing over and around piles of crumbled brick and smashed machinery. There was a wrongness here. It was like coming into a place that sort of ate all the ambient cheer and replaced it with an intense and abiding _gloom_. It was the sort of place Patrick had always associated with the horror-movies from his dad's old collection of pre-war videos. If you hung around here long enough, you'd find some terrible, ugly dude hangin' out in some dark corner, waiting to jump out at you.

Signs they found in the ruins suggested that a number of people had been camped out here–just like their thug had said. _But doing what,_ thought Patrick? No answers presented themselves, though, and they pressed onward. Much of the place was open to the sky, but there were portions of the structure intact–like tombs–dotting the site. Tempting as it was to go poking around in there, not even Fi wanted to go in those, and honestly Patrick almost felt as though somebody was staring back at him from the darkness inside.

Breeching the innermost portion of the site, they found a strange scene. The ground was bumpy and rough, and portions of it looked as if they had been sprayed with acid. There was a sort of _haze_ there, and the air didn't feel good in their lungs. Strangest of all, there were wooden scaffolds there, looking as if they had been there since the dawn of time. The wood was gray and worm-eaten. At the same time, the construction suggested that it had been built _recently_. And there were tubs and crumbling vats that looked too new for the age of the site as well.

It all left Pat scratching his head. He liked puzzles ordinarily. Really, he loved them with a passion that made Fionna think he was just the least bit crazy. At the same time, he didn't love _this_ puzzle. The more he thought about it, the more he thought they ought to get out of here. They hadn't found the pack of Thief King's dudes that they were looking for. "What's that," asked Fionna? She was reaching out to some unrecognizable black goo that lay on the ground at the base of one of the scaffolds. "Don't touch," growled Patrick! Fi jerked her hand back. They'd had a chat about that after one really nasty adventure. Shivering, wrapping her arms around herself, she said, "let's go, honey. I... I don't want to be here anymore." It was the best thing he'd heard from his girlfriend all day.

Back in the Grey Forest, Huntress Wizard sat before the Matriarch doing her best not to flub the biggest conversation of her life. They'd gotten shut down the previous time. Many of the Matriarch's cabinet had a deep-seated distrust of the outside world, and they'd come armed with suspicion. Fed a diet of half-truths–likely by Marjolaine–several had wanted to exile Huntress on the spot. The wizard had talked them through that rough patch and earned a second chance to have her ideas heard. Now she was using all the cunning she possessed.

"And why should I allow this, Emeraude Baudin," asked the Matriarch? "How does this serve _us_?" It was pretty clear what Simon got. It was also clear that this woman stood to make substantial gain out of this deal. Coolly, the wizard woman replied, "power." Leaning back in her chair, Huntress declared, "the being who becomes Grandmaster will be beholden to whoever helped him win. That could be _us_." " _Us_ ," rumbled the Matriarch. "You speak like one of our Clan..."

Emeraude coldly reminded her, "I did you a favor. You presided over an empty village in an empty forest with nothing but the old and weak for company. They would have forgotten you and every other so-called _elder_. They're back here because I forced them to move on. Now there are _two-thousand_ here with the spark. That's the single largest voting block in Ooo..." "Not counting water-nymphs and sprites," the old woman interrupted. "They outnumber us..." With a smirk, the wizard interrupted, "but nobody's organizing _them_. The water nymph's are happy selling snatch to sailors who drop anchor on their islands. They haven't even _dreamed_ of anything else. Maybe after we've swayed a government, it will start to concern them. We'll be well down the road by then..."

The shrewd older woman pondered that. She looked at it from every angle, and she realized the younger woman was right. At the same time, she knew power corrupted. She wasn't sure she would have chosen this woman to speak for them. She would have to think on this a little longer. In soft tones, the Matriarch said, "I will consider this. Return in two days." Rising, Huntress offered a polite bow, then turned and got on her way.

Betty and Simone were waiting on her outside the Matriarch's home. As she scanned the scene looking for Simon, Huntress announced, "she's thinking about it..." "That's _it_ ," Betty groused? Simone hushed her. "How did she react," asked the younger woman? Spotting Simon buying ice-cream for a pack of squealing kids, Huntress replied, "let's not talk here..." She stepped off, leaving Simone and her mother to catch up. Simon saw them as they crossed the street, and he quickly extricated himself from the pack of kids to meet them.

As the quartet headed back to Marphisa's place, Emeraude explained, "it's not as simple as you think. You come from a world where people obey laws and everybody you meet isn't out to screw you. Just because I busted up Marjolaine's scheme to sell girls on the down-low doesn't mean I can be trusted..." A frustrated Betty demanded, "so what do we do?" Emeraude replied, "we're about to play a game called full disclosure." They were going to prove their trustworthiness by revealing all their own dirt. And they still had to finish smashing Marjolaine. She was still a threat.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

They weren't supposed to be doing this, but it felt sooo good. Bonnie couldn't help wanting to do this, and Finn seemed helpless to resist her advances. So far, they'd done nothing worse than what they were doing now. Just kissing–and a little petting. That was all they ever did. Finn would hold her as he held her now, hand stroking her body, touching all the right places and making her hotter than a night in the Night-O-Sphere. His hands would stroke her plump boobies, and he'd tease her tongue or bite her throat. And sometimes, if she pushed him hard enough, he would play with her pussy.

Sitting on his lap, Bonnie could _feel_ the effect she was having on him. His hard cock was pressed against the curve of her ass, and she could feel it through her dress and his pants. She'd been trying to work _him_ up too. She'd hinted on several occasions that she wouldn't mind taking care of his little _problem_ for him, though Finn had pretended not to understand. Still, she thought his resolve was weakening. She'd come in wearing some of his favorite things today–a beautiful dark pink gown over lacy white stockings. He liked old-fashioned undies like that, and he'd confessed that Simone often wore them for him. But he'd admitted that he first discovered that with _her_.

His hand was slowly creeping up the outside of her calf, sliding across the silk and slowly making her dress slide up her leg. They were getting carried away, and it was getting harder and harder to stop. They both justified this. He wasn't cheating on his wife. He was showing affection to an old and dear friend.

As long as they always stopped.

 _I don't want him to stop,_ she thought. He always did, but she didn't want him to stop. She wanted him to slide the dress off her body. She wanted him to lay her on top of the desk like he had that night a year and a half ago. She wished he would take her– _fuck_ her–hard like he had then. She wanted that big, fat dick inside her. "Mmmm," moaned Bonnie, as she felt his hand against her knee. Was this going to be the day?

A noise outside startled him, and he broke that kiss. Breathlessly, Bonnie lay against him a moment longer. Then, rising, she straightened her clothing. Finn quickly wiped his face clean of the evidence of their transgressions. The Queen no longer wore perfume, and she'd been seriously considering abandoning the lipstick and other things she typically wore to avoid attracting attention to them. Finn called out to his visitor, "come in."

His visitor was Lieutenant Steele, the leader of the Heavy boys. "Boss," he greeted Finn. He offered the Princess a bow. Finn answered that with, "hey, Luke. What's up?" The banana replied, "Rick and AJ are in Frozen Yogurt Kingdom. They've rented a house and got the Guest all set up." Which was great news for Finn. He'd been worried about PB's plan. Now he totes felt like a jerk for doubting. "Thanks for the news, man," Finn told him. Luke Steele got on his way, heading off to the gun range to practice with his dudes.

When the officious Banana had gone, Finn shut the door and turned to his almost-lover. Smiling, Bonnie rose and walked over to him. As soon as she was within range, Finn gathered her into his arms. Laying her head on his shoulder, she sniffed back tears and said, "I love you..." Puzzled and a little concerned, Finn pulled away and held her at arms length. "W-what's wrong, Peebles," he asked? "I... I'm selfish, Finn," she sniffled. "I-I want to keep things the way they are. I know that's what we have to do... but I want more." Finn glanced away, and she knew she was only echoing what he felt. Taking his face in her hands, she turned those blue eyes back to hers.

"Finn," she breathed, "do you know what a mistress is?" Finn's face went hot. He knew the word. Emeraude had mentioned it the day she'd given up on stealing him from Simone. He knew exactly where Bonnie was going with this, and he knew exactly what that would do to Simone and Emeraude. At the same time, he had _hungered_ for Bonnie for so long–more than twenty years in fact–that he knew he would say yes if they spent very much more time together like this. They were teetering on the edge of the abyss. Gathering her into his arms, Finn kissed those sugary-sweet lips and ran his fingers through her sticky pink hair.

Laying her head on his shoulder again, Bonnie sighed. "I don't want to take you away from them, Finn," she said. "I... I'm not built that way. We both know I make a rotten girlfriend. I just... Whatever moments I can have." Finn nodded. With the kids out of the house, he had a little more time on his hands now, and Simone and Emeraude, with their new-found freedom, were branching out and enjoying their own lives. Simone was making up for seventeen years and more of being a housewife. He loved her, and he was happy about that. At the same time, he was admittedly very lonely just now, and he couldn't help feeling _forgotten_. When they ignored his calls and hung up on him at every turn, he couldn't help it.

Moving to the door, Bonnie said, "think about it, Finn." She left him then. She left him staring at the door, breathing in her scent and thinking dangerous thoughts. They were skirting the edge of dangerous waters. He knew that Simone and E wouldn't be happy about what they were already doing. He could claim he hadn't cheated, but it was sort of a hollow claim the way he'd touched her lately. At the same time, Bonnie wasn't the only one who wanted more. He was losing his way. He had been thinking of going out to the Grey Forest to see his ladies. Work had gotten in the way, though. With them finally getting ahead of things on the gang front, he couldn't leave.

Returning to his desk, Finn sat down to work, but it was hard focusing when his mind kept going back to Bonnie and her words. He kept on thinking about what she was offering and what it represented. It was the fulfillment of all the dreams he'd had when he was a boy, and at the same time it was the destruction of everything he held dear. He had to escape. He needed to get away before he sinned. Putting the reports and documents aside, he picked up the phone, dialed Simone, and waited.

In the Grey Forest, Simone distractedly glanced over at her phone. It was Finn. Again. _Damn,_ she thought. He picked the worst damned times! She'd been trying to talk to him for weeks now, but every time they got on the phone together, something happened to get in the way. Betty glared at her. Face hot, Simone said, "I've got to take this." Betty grabbed the phone before Simone could grab it. Flicking it on, she said, " _Finn_. Yes, it's Betty. We're busy. Call back some other time." And she hung up in his face. Slapping the phone on the table, the older woman said, "we're about to go raid a den of slavers, Simone. We don't have time for games." Simone choked back what she had been about to say. Betty was right, and she knew it. Their lives were on the line. _Emeraude's_ life was on the line.

Simone rose, pocketed her phone, and adjusted the crown on her head. Much like the Ice-Tiara, the crown adhered to her hair to the point that it took real force to dislodge it. Emeraude's work had been nearly perfect. The crown was a much weaker replica of the Tiara that she'd worn during her first year of 'life', and she found herself touching it in unconscious habit. She didn't like the madwoman who'd worn the Tiara. She didn't like the Ice-Queen at all. Much as Emeraude hated Huntress Wizard, Simone hated her alter-ego. _One more time,_ she thought. She had to do this one more time. It was for Emeraude, for her people, and for Simon, who'd given her life. The three headed out into the afternoon sun, bound for the awful prison that held Simone's friend.

Meanwhile, Emeraude Mertens sat biding her time in the back of a cell. She'd been here several days already getting poked and prodded by the sick fuckers who worked for her mother, and she was definitely ready for this particular dick-dance to be over. They'd had men here from all over checking out the merchandise. And her mother had been by repeatedly to gloat.

Marjolaine had been delighted when her _trap_ had netted the nasty customer that she really wanted to hurt. She had a lot of enemies, but none she wished more harm to than her daughter. Now she was planning to mete out a suitably appropriate punishment for the wench who'd betrayed her on occasions too numerous to mention. The older woman felt a sense of euphoric delight as she came down the cell gallery towards the block that housed her witch of a child. She was wearing Huntress Wizard's bracer–the notorious weapon that had slain hundreds over the years. She'd been delighted to see it stripped from the little whore's unconscious body. Now it was a rather ugly trophy.

"Good morning, sweetie," the older woman announced as she peered into the cell. Emeraude was alone in the little cubicle. She was too dangerous to be left with anybody. Staring back through the bars at her mother, the little woman said nothing. "Not a word to say to your mother," burbled Marjolaine? "Nothing at all? Not going to talk tough and threaten me?" The wizard woman shrugged by way of reply. "Don't you even want to know what your fate is to be," asked the evil mother? Huntress Wizard snorted. As if.

Irritated–the bitch would clam up _now_ when the worm was turned–Marjolaine almost stormed off. Standing there, fighting her own anger, she took a few minutes to get control of herself. This bitch was nothing. Very soon she would be _less_ than nothing. Marjolaine already had the film rights in hand and the distribution channels lined up.

"You're going to star in a picture," said the older woman, who now wore a very evil smile. The wizard said nothing to that. "I'm selling you to the Red Palace," said Marjolaine. Huntress Wizard rolled her eyes. The snuff merchants. She was selling her own child to people who made snuff films. That was so _typical_ of her. Everything devolved to the lowest level with this insipid bitch. She was like a creature of awful, _base_ instincts. Fucking, feasting, and feuding. That was all that seemed to matter to Marjolaine Baudin.

"Don't worry about my end," chuckled the older woman. "I own the rights. I'm going to put it in theaters across Ooo." Howling laughter, she said, "maybe your husband will see it, eh? I could send him a copy!" The wizard said not a word. Seeing that this little bitch didn't intend to give her any satisfaction at all, the evil older woman signaled for the guards. Stepping back, she retreated up the hall as they went in to retrieve the merchandise. She didn't want to be in the hall. Just in case. It didn't hurt to be careful.

Emeraude Mertens came out of the cell much as she'd gone in–dressed in only her underthings. They'd stripped her naked while she was unconscious, taking all her clothes, the weapons concealed on her person, and her Instrument too. Now they shackled her wrists together and chained them to her waist. Then they led her down the hall towards the place where her mother did her dirt. Striding along, head high, the wizard looked as though she were on a stroll instead of heading out to be sold to the most evil creatures on Ooo. The creatures of the Red Palace thrived on pain and misery. They kept their sentient chattel in the worst conditions possible to break their wills and make them fonts of human agony.

Those creatures dealt the most perfectly docile of slaves–creatures so broken that they would willingly turn over their own family to be enslaved. As if that wasn't awful enough, the masked fiends of the Red Palace were infamous as purveyors of the most twisted and evil _films_ imaginable. Their awful works were banned in most of the Kingdoms of Ooo, and they traveled at their own risk because most rulers would arrest them on sight.

As Huntress Wizard entered the awful auction-hall that her mother kept, she scanned the scene, finding the usual crowd of twisted sicksters on hand. Her mother delightedly announced just who they had up for sale, and the pack of them stood up and took notice. In the back of the room–in a box seat–she found one of the monstrous entities from the Red Palace, garbed in the ugly, all-enveloping robes that its kind wore. This one came in a disgusting red the color of dried blood, and the wizard scowled at it as she was led up the aisle.

The little woman was led into the center of the room and made to turn this way and that, while her mother's goons fondled her boobies and showed off her assets to all and sundry. The wizard said not a word, in spite of the numerous provocations. Then, finally, the evil bitch got the business underway. As Huntress Wizard stared at the evil creature at the end of the hall, Marjolaine auctioned her life to the highest bidder.

The fix was in, of course. Marjolaine simply wanted the most money she could get for her daughter's life. She had her shills in the audience, and they ran the price up on the Red Palace's emissary. In the end, the sick fuck at the end of the hall paid ten-thousand coins for the privilege of doing Marjolaine's dirty work and handing her the means to profit from her own daughter's murder afterwards. The wizard stood there stoically as the owner of this emporium of evil pronounced the sentence.

Marjolaine could hardly wait for the video! She was excited! She was stoked about the idea of seeing her hated daughter get her just comeuppance. There were gangsters and assorted other victims who had reserved copies of the resulting video. It would have been well worth it to kill the bitch and bring her back to life if that were at all possible. That would have let Marjolaine sell her death _twice_.

And then a strange thing happened.

Huntress Wizard fell to her side and curled into a ball. _Finally figured it out, have you,_ thought the evil mother? Down on the hall floor, Huntress reached into her mouth, pinched the piercing in her tongue, and whispered a word of power. Momentarily, she was drawing a sliver of silver from her mouth. That sliver twisted itself around her index finger, as she withdrew the fingers from her mouth. The Instrument was limited. There wasn't enough circuitry there to amplify her powers very much. She really needed it for just one spell, though.

Pointing her hand skyward, she focused a blast-bolt at the roof, blasting the lid off that place of horrors. Marjolaine, threw herself to the floor in terror. How had the bitch done that?! She was supposed to be disarmed! She was going to _skin_ her idiot guards. They'd supposedly searched every nook and cranny! Rising, she peered out at the scene in the hall, expecting to see her bitch of a kid kicking the shit out of the guards.

Instead, she found the guards beating her daughter within an inch of her life! She'd shot her bolt! Whatever she'd used for that little stunt, she'd apparently had only one shot at it! Still, Marjolaine wanted to be sure her daughter survived to do her _closeup_ in the Red Palace. Rising to her feet once more, she shouted for her guards to stop. The guards ceased the brutal thrashing they had been giving her daughter in favor of hauling her to her feet once more. Emeraude stood there smiling at her mother in spite of the split lip and the bruises decorating her body. _Cunt,_ thought Marjolaine.

That was when three forms dropped down through the hole in the roof. Simon Petrikov and Simone Mertens hurled jagged bolts of ice at the thugs in the hall, slaying several in one pass. Betty Petrikov hurled blast-bolts at the guards, blowing several of them apart and sending the rest fleeing in a panic. The scene devolved into a chaotic swirl of fleeing gangsters, terrified slaves, and slavers being blasted to a pulp or being frozen in their tracks. In the middle of it, Betty blasted the shackles off Emeraude and tossed her the bangle that she typically wore in her working life.

As a horrified Marjolaine looked on, the notorious Huntress Wizard waded in, helping the other three to smash her carefully built and nurtured business. Knowing what the penalty for slaving would be, the wicked mother fled. She ran from the hall, trusting the precautions she'd taken to let her reach the doors before the brutal fighting in the hall brought unwanted attention. Rushing to her office, she gathered up some papers and the little cash that she kept here, packing it all into a small bag. Then she ran for the entry, promising herself that she would kill that nasty cunt someday.

With her bag in hand, the slaver ran down the corridor to the exit. Emerging into the light, she ran straight into the Lawkeeper and her posse, finding a _pack_ of humorless women waiting out there. "I'm so disappointed in you," rumbled Sebua. Marjolaine spat at her feet. "Do what you came for," she muttered. She put out her arms to be shackled. Sebua motioned for one of her guards to do the deed. She didn't want anything to do with this bitch.

Minutes later, Emeraude emerged from the bunker-like underground prison where she'd been held prisoner. After the time she'd spent in the dungeon, the sunlight felt good on her skin. The lawkeepers had things well in hand, having arrested everybody who'd run. They had needed to kill the Red Palace's Envoy. The nasty creature had melted into a puddle of greenish goop when Simon slagged him. They got most everybody else, though. The Matriarch was going to hang the lot of them.

Striding up to her mother, Huntress Wizard said, "you can keep the bracer, Marjolaine. I'll be happy not to see it again." And without a further word, she walked away from her past, bound for her aunt's home. Coming up alongside her, Simone said, "I'm glad you're alright." Emeraude smiled at her. Stopping there on the trail, she turned and hugged her best friend. Simone hadn't exactly been thrilled by this plan. While it had been important to catch Marjolaine red-handed, she didn't like the idea of using Emeraude as bait. She was terrified of what could happen to someone she found very dear and even more frightened of what Emeraude's death–and the wish–would do to Finn.

"Finn called," she said. "We should call him back and explain things..." "We've got an appointment with the Matriarch," Betty declared. "You can listen to that man's griping later." Simone sighed heavily. She needed to get that straightened out. She'd mentioned Finn's complaints just once, and now her mother thought he was a jerk, calling to insist she return home every chance he got. It wasn't fair. Finn was doing his best with this, and he deserved better. "We'll call him after we get done," said Emeraude. "Ok," sighed Simone.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11:

In the end, neither Huntress nor Ice-Queen ended up getting to talk to Finn at all. Wrapping up the arrest of the conspirators took all afternoon and much of the evening. Emeraude was required to go over the particulars again and again. First with the Matriarch. Then with her cabinet. Then both at once. She told the story over and over, losing more and more patience in the process. It helped not at all that she was basically sitting their in her underwear, freezing her ass off the whole time. That required Betty's intervention to get her back on track and prevent the irritable wizard from ruining all the hard work they'd done the last few days.

Then, when that wasn't enough, the Matriarch suddenly decided to embrace what they were offering, and it suddenly became time to put their money where their mouths were. Emeraude found herself mediating as Betty and the Matriarch dickered over exactly what place the wood nymphs would have in Wizard City and its business. Finn called several times in the intervening hours, and, in the end, Simone just shut off her phone and shunted him straight to voice mail.

Back in the Candy Kingdom, a lonely, _depressed_ Finn got a fate-changing phone call from the woman he'd so desperately pursued in the formative years of his life. Bonnie Bubblegum had tickets to Marceline's concert, and she was hoping that her Captain of the Guard would be willing to go. It didn't take a great deal of effort on her part for Finn to find himself agreeing. Signing out of the office early, he headed down to the palace, meeting the once-and-former great love of his life there at the door to her limousine.

PB said nothing at all about being his mistress or asking for anything other than his company. Instead, she ushered him into the limousine before settling into the seat beside him for the ride to the concert hall in the wild-lands between the capitol and Candy-Town. As they rode along, Bonnie made small talk about Marceline and all the fun times they'd had together in the past. Finn did his best to hold up his end of the conversation, even while his mind seethed over the awful truth about what he was doing. He was cheating. He was here with Bonnie instead of his girls. In the end though, the talk about past times relaxed him, and the two were laughing when they finally emerged from the limousine in the basement of the concert venue.

Things seemed so _normal_ as they walked through the basement corridors to the stairs that would take them up to the front-row seats Marceline had given them. It was perfectly natural that Bonnie leaned in against him, and it was just as natural for him to take her hand and hold it. When Bonnie kissed his cheek, Finn's only reaction was to give her hand a squeeze. Then he twined his fingers with hers and held them as they climbed the stairs. Upstairs, the crowd was raucous and rowdy even before the band hit the stage. Finn and Bonnie found themselves front and center in their own little roped-off box right before the stage. Settling in there, the two waited for the fun to start.

It was the first concert Marceline had given anywhere near the Candy Kingdom in nearly twenty years, so she was hardly surprised to find Finn in the crowd watching. The weenie was one of her two best friends in the world, after all. She wasn't really surprised to see Bonnie either, in spite of all the energy Bonnie put into work. Bonnie was the only other person who gave a damn about her. Seeing both together was a little weird. Bonnie was standing beside Finn wearing skinny-jeans in pink under a sweatshirt, and she had her hair tied up in a bun. The two were laughing and dancing, looking _so_ cozy together.

As she sang and danced her way through set after set, that never changed, and she began to feel a strange sense of unease. What was going on there? Why were they so cozy? Honestly, she'd lost track of things over the last year or so. She'd had to raise her son. Again. She'd found herself with a full-fledged vampire on her hands after centuries of being one of the few remaining vampires on Ooo. She was Queen of _nothing_ , and she'd kind of liked it that way. The few remaining vampires did their best to walk small and stay out of her hair. Either they learned to exist on animal blood or the color red, or they were already gone–torn to shreds. She'd found herself faced with that choice again. Only this time it was her _son_.

Marshall had been a wreck of a person. She'd gotten a firsthand look at just what she'd done to her child. He was chock full of anger, which had somewhat precipitated his transition to darkness. If the curse had gotten its hooks into him, she was a lot of the reason because he had a bottomless anger against _her_. When that wasn't enough, he was angry at himself for all the stuff he'd done to her over the last few years. They'd danced around that mess for _weeks_ in Ash's fucking prison, while they waited for his spell to dissipate so they could leave.

On top of his anger issues, Marshall, having ducked and dodged the curse for _years_ , had gone straight into the deepest darkest pits of blood-lust. He'd literally had no time to grow into what it meant to be a vampire. He'd fought her and tried to drink _her_ blood a couple of times, and she'd really come close to having to kill him. Now she'd turned him loose on the world with his control somewhat restored. He had to learn those hard lessons still. He had to learn his limits and vulnerabilities, and she couldn't really teach him. More to the point, his absence gave her an opportunity to do something herself. She was going to find a way to restore him. She was going to find a way to break the curse.

Honestly, that was half of why she'd invited Bonnie. She wanted to talk it over with her old chum. Bonnie had documents and little bits of knowledge squirreled away from a million crazy adventures. If anybody could point her in the right direction, it was the pink pain. Having Finn there to offer his advice was just icing for the cake.

At least it had been until she saw them there in the box before the stage.

As the last strains of the last song echoed through the auditorium, the Vampire Queen thanked her deathless fans for their attention. She thanked them sincerely because the money they had paid to get in was going straight into the funds she used to research Marshall's _problem_. She had a little of the money. Now she had to quiz Bonnie on what _she_ knew.

As Marceline and her crew exited the stage, a security guard came up to the Princess and her Captain of the Guard and said, "Ms. Abadeer would like to extend an invitation to visit her backstage." Glancing to his girlfriend, Finn said, "why don't we go back stage and say hi?" Bonnie thought about that a minute. She really didn't see the harm. She so rarely saw Marcy these days, she wanted to have a chance to talk and see she was alright. The pair slipped through the crowd, Finn's reputation and stature parting the crowd and letting them get through a little faster. Finn led the way back through the stage door to the hallway outside Marceline's dressing room, and there the two waited.

Smiling and happy about the wonderful evening she'd been having with her boyfriend, the beautiful Princess couldn't help taking Finn's hand. Finn blushed. That was dangerous. Everyone knew who they were, and there was a real risk that they'd get seen holding hands here. He wasn't sure what he would say to Simone and Emeraude. At the same time, he loved Bonnie and always had. Squeezing her hand, he gave her a smile. Bonnie grinned back. This felt _good_. It felt so good, it almost made her giddy. Every time she saw him smile, she wanted to kiss him.

Only one thing could have made it better. For as long as she'd known him, his beautiful smile had been marred by missing teeth–a result of the rough-and-tumble life he led. She'd been considering suggesting implants. That would have made his smile perfect. Still, perfect was the enemy of good enough. Leaning towards her boyfriend, Bonnie touched her lips to his and slipped him a little tongue.

Just then, the door to Marceline's dressing room came open, and Finn jumped back. "Uh, hey Marcy," said Finn, as he let go Bonnie's hand. Bonnie sighed. It was the problem with being the _mistress_. Finn couldn't afford to be seen holding her hand in public, and she knew it. He stood to lose his happy life with Simone and Emeraude. Sad as it sometimes made her, Bonnie knew she wasn't the sort of person who could manage a full-time relationship. Having _some_ of Finn's time was more than enough. It was just that she felt the tiniest bit of jealousy, and she did sort of _hunger_ for more. She knew why, just as she knew she had to ruthlessly fight that hunger down for fear of wrecking even this little bit.

Marceline stared suspiciously at the two of them, and she remarked, "when I sent the tickets, I expected to see Finn. I didn't expect to see you, bubble-butt." "Can't I stop by as a friend, Marceline," retorted Bonnie? Marceline chuckled, but there was no humor in it. Standing aside, she beckoned the pair into her dressing room. Finn followed Bonnie inside, shutting the door behind them. Marcy moved to the big, padded chair near the mirror, causing Finn to chuckle. The mirror was kind of a joke. Except for the magic mirror in her house, Marceline didn't have a reflection.

"Sooo," said Bonnie. "Shitty," muttered Marceline. "Really, really shitty, Bonnie." Bonnie blushed to her hair. She'd heard from Shoko about Marshall's _condition_. "I-I'm sorry, Marceline," the princess said with a heavy-hearted sigh. With a shrug, the vampire replied, "it's my fault, Bonnie. Not yours." Finn tugged at his collar, feeling intensely uncomfortable. He'd reminded her of that they night he found out he was Marshall's dad. He'd sort of thrown it in her face. Glancing at the empty mirror, Marceline took a deep breath. Softly, she said, "I need your help..."

"Sure, Marcy," replied Finn. "Anythin'..." Bonnie held up a hand, silencing her Captain of the Guard. Softly, she said, "remember what happened last time I tried to help you with a vampire-problem, Marceline." "I know, Bonnie," muttered the Queen of Vampires. "I'm well aware of what happened last time." Glancing up to her friend, Marceline said, "I need to lift the curse, Bonnie. I need to restore my son. I need information... knowledge." And Bonnie was the smartest person in Ooo. With a sigh, the princess replied, "there's only rumor, hearsay, and legend, Marceline. That's all I've got." "Let's hear it, then," said the vampire.

With a sigh, the princess explained, "but it's totes stupid, Marceline. Some of the information suggests that the Vampire King and his court were Avatars created by Death to harvest souls for his kingdom." She made it sound absurd. Shaking her head, she explained, "but Death isn't a person..." "Uh, actually, he is," Finn interrupted. Both women stared at him. With a shrug, Finn said, "met him, actually." Blushing to his hair, Finn told his girlfriend, "'member that time you asked Jake and I to babysit the Princess Plant?" Frowning, Bonnie replied, "vaguely. Yeah." It had been more than twenty years. "Uh, we fucked it up," Finn admitted. "We killed your plant." Bonnie goggled at him.

Scratching at the back of his neck in shame, Finn explained how Peppermint Butler had sent them to Death's Dimension to retrieve the plant's soul. When he finished his story, both women were staring, open-mouthed, at him. Shrugging, Finn said, "I always thought I should tell you about that..." "Never mind that," howled Marceline! "I need deets! How did peppermint-butt do it?" Bonnie could see what she was thinking. She could go to Death and petition him. "This sounds very dangerous, Marceline," said she. "Finn almost lost his soul. I'd... I don't think we can afford for you to go to Death's Kingdom. What... How would Marshall manage?"

That dampened the Vampire Queen's enthusiasm a great deal. Marshall still needed her very badly. Softly, Bonnie said, "I'll get you everything I have in my library. Let's... Let's look at this tomorrow." Nodding, Marceline said, "ok." This was at least a start, and it was time for the post-party anyway.

"Hey, Finn," said Marceline. "Would you go ahead? Clear the way to the car for me?" "Sure, Marcy," said Finn. Just like always, he was her number one hero, glad to do anything for her. Finn went out and shut the door behind him. Marceline immediately turned to her long-time friend and said, "alright, Bonnie. What gives?" By the look in the vampire's eyes, it was clear she was busted. Flushing, Bonnibel murmured, "how much did you see?" "I saw you kissing Finn," growled Marceline. Ducking her head and glancing away, Bonnie said, "I love him, Marcy. It's... It's foolish to pretend that I don't love the father of my children." "He's _married_ , Bonnie," growled Marcy. "It didn't stop me from fucking him before," retorted Bonnie. "And... a man can have a mistress..."

"What do you mean," growled the vampire? She had the feeling Bonnie wasn't talking about her sneaky sleep-sex with Finn, when he was unconscious in her lab. With a sigh, Bonnie admitted, "when he saved me... from the rebels... Finn... Well, Finn finally got his reward. He got the girl."

Marceline's jaw came open. "Y-you... He...," stammered the goth-girl. Nodding, Bonnie proudly replied, "yup. Full contact. He rode me a good fifteen minutes after they hauled that cunt, Cherry Cream Soda, away." Seeing the way Marceline looked at her, Bonnie shrugged, "it just happened, Marcy. We... We swore it wouldn't happen again." Finn had sort of justified it. He'd been fucking Cherry–with permission from Simone and Emeraude–as a way to allay the traitorous bitch's suspicions. They'd literally told him that they didn't care how many he had to screw so long as he came home to them.

"That bitch disappeared half a year ago, Bonnie," muttered Marceline. Face hot, Bonnibel Bubblegum sighed, "I can't resist it anymore, Marcy... I... don't you understand... Well, maybe you don't. You've been alone since before I was born." Those words stung, and the vampire flinched back from her. "I can't do this anymore," muttered the candy Royal. "I... I need him." Apparently enough that she would gladly be his plaything, taking whatever time Simone and Emeraude left for her.

"Anyways," sighed Bonnie. "I... Please don't tell Simone and Emeraude, Marcy. I... I don't want there to be conflict... I just... I need him." "I'd think about this if I were you, Bonnie," growled Marceline. Bonnie swore she would, though her eyes suggested she didn't plan on thinking very hard about it.

The pair went out to the car that would take them to Marceline's hotel. Finn was waiting at the exit with a smile on his face, and he held the door for the two of them. His face was brightly, _nakedly_ happy, and Marceline couldn't help thinking that Bonnie was the reason for that. Marcy brushed past him, and Finn immediately rushed to get the car door for her. His presence kept some of the more obnoxious fans at bay, letting her get into the car and settled. Bonnie settled in alongside her, and Finn climbed in the front with the driver.

The post-party was rocking when they entered, with some of Marceline's most important fans there, including the new Duke of Nuts and his girlfriend. They all cheered at the sight of the woman they idolized, and Marceline went into her usual act, pretending to be excited and thrilled to see them. Finn and Bonnie slipped away while Marceline was greeting her fans, and she found herself alone. A waiter came up and brought her a glass of red wine, slipping it into her hands as the tour organizer proposed a toast. Marceline toasted the tour's success right alongside him, but her eyes were on Bonnie and Finn, standing together in a corner, looking very cozy.

That was how much of the evening went. Marceline was stuck dealing with the people behind the tour, talking to them and toasting with them, while Finn and Bonnie spent time together. While the goth-girl did the meet-and-greet with her fans and generally got put upon, Finn and Bonnie sort of hid out in the corner, using Marceline's presence–and everyone's focus on it–to snuggle on the down-low. It honestly made the vampire-woman a little jealous–a _lot_ jealous–to see them having such a good time.

Her mind kept going back to Bonnie's admission. She was Finn's mistress. She'd agreed to be Finn's plaything. He got to fuck her when he felt like it, with no strings and no commitment. Hell, she was afraid of his wives finding out and putting an end to the whole thing. It was a shocking admission from the normally self-assured Bonnibel Bubblegum. It left Marceline a little shaken in her own convictions. They looked so... _happy_. They looked as though life couldn't be going better. The pair didn't stay long. They mingled a little, just for appearances, even dancing with other people. In the end, though, they left together, slipping out while Marcy's back was turned. Marceline wasn't far behind them. Exhausted from the show and tired of dealing with her idiot fans and the tour manager, she made an excuse and got out of there.

On the top floor of the hotel, Finn stood in the parlor of Bonnie's rented suite waiting–and remembering. It was a little creepy to realize that he'd been in a room like this with Cherry not so long ago. After smashing James Plumly, he'd gone back to the suite with his evil girlfriend, and she'd fucked him under the table. Just like her arch-enemy, Bonnie had gone into the bedroom to 'get comfortable'. Finn knew she was getting dolled-up to screw him. So what was he going to do? He'd sort of known going in that this was what Bonnie wanted when she invited him to go to the concert with her, but could he really go through with it?

"Finn," Bonnie murmured? The hero turned towards the door, expecting something sexy, and Bonnie didn't disappoint. Finn's eyes popped at the sight of the sheer nightgown his dad had made Bonnie wear almost twenty years ago. It was the same, down to the last detail. Seeming to guess what he was thinking, Bonnie murmured, "I saved it... I don't know why... Fantasy, I guess." Walking towards him, she said, "I took it out and wore it sometimes and thought of you... of what I _wished_ you'd done that night."

Finn's jaw hung as he realized this wasn't a copy. This was the actual nightie she'd been wearing that day. As she grew closer, he saw places where the tears and cuts had been skillfully repaired. Lollipop Girl's work. He was certain of it. Stopping in front of him, Bonnie whispered, "it should have been you, Finn. It should have been you that I wore this for. You deserved it. You deserved... _me_..." She smiled archly and said, "now, sweet boy, you've just rescued me after chasing my kidnapers for days..."

Wordlessly, Finn grabbed Bonnie's slim waist and pulled her to him. He gave her a scorching kiss as he slipped his arms around her. His hands stroked her flanks and broad hips. Sliding slowly downwards, those long, rough fingers slipped around and got hold of her big, bountiful butt. Hungry for his hard dick, Bonnie began to grind her hot mound against him. Finn took his time. He had all night to touch his girl as much as he wanted. His hands squeezed and caressed that juicy booty, and Finn kissed his way down her cheek and back again. His left hand reached up and stroked her plump left booby, causing her to gasp in heat. She was feverishly hot against him.

Bonnie moaned softly. He touched her so good, and she now saw just how good her honey was–and what Simone and Emeraude had been getting all these years. At the same time, her hands stroked his hard body, finding that he was just as powerfully built–just as hunky–as she had imagined. He'd been strong as a boy, and he'd only gotten stronger over the years. "You're so beautiful," she breathed. Finn blushed. At the same time, after years of hungering for her, he was more than ready. Scooping her up, he carried her into the suite's bedroom and lay her down on the soft, satiny sheets.

As Bonnie watched, he shed his shirt and shoes. Then he climbed up on the bed. As the beautiful princess watched, he slid her slim ankles apart and then started sliding the soft, silky gown up her legs. As each inch of her skin was bared, Finn kissed it. Those feather-light touches made her shiver. Turned on, Bonnie began to toy with her own boobies, stroking them softly, as she anticipated what he was going to do to her next. By the time Finn got to her pussy, she was on fire, and her hot snatch was already dripping. Finn pressed his face into her hot gash and nibbled at her button.

"Eeeee," screeched the hot royal. Her hips jumped, but Finn was anticipating that. Holding those broad hips down, he began to lick and suck her hot box, nibbling at her lips and even trying to shove his tongue inside. Her broad hips wriggled and squirmed beneath him, and she clawed at the sheets. "Ooaaaaah," howled the sexy piece of candy. "Huhnnn... Oooaaaa!" When he looked up, he found her panting and gasping for breath. Climbing up over her, he asked, "do we keep going, Peebles?" They could stop now. If they didn't go any further... "Yes, baby," sighed Bonnie, as she reached for his pants. "I need you."

Finn wriggled out of his jeans, baring the big, fat dick that had gotten her pregnant with her son. She wanted another baby. It was tempting to let him get her pregnant again. In the now, the horny, _hungry_ princess grabbed that huge log and aimed it at her gooey pussy. "Stick me, baby," she whined. Thrusting with his hips, Finn shoved his rod into her. "Aaaaagggh," wailed Bonnie. It was just as big as she remembered.

Wrapping those sexy thighs around his waist, the sexy princess pulled him towards her. Thrusting again, Finn slid a little more of his cock into her. And then he did it again. At the same time, he slid the gown the rest of the way up her body, baring her plump knobs. The big man stroked those plump boobies, touching them delicately and sending shivers up her spine. At the same time, jolts of white-hot lust stabbed into her brain as he railed her good and hard. Bonnie bit her bottom lip as one orgasm after another hit her.

Leaning down, he whispered naughty thoughts in her ear, telling her how she should have asked him. He'd have gladly pumped her belly up, if that was what she wanted. Nibbling her ear, he told her how beautiful she was, and how hard it had been to let go that night when he'd caught up to his dad. "You and Phoebes had me crazy that whole time on the way back," he whispered. "Glob, I wanted to fuck the shit out of you." He _still_ wanted to fuck her and get her pregnant.

Those words drove her crazy, as she thought of letting him impregnate her again. She wanted it. She wanted the whole experience. She wanted to have another baby so she could experience his love firsthand. Her hips surged up to meet his, their bodies clapping together like thunder in that little bedroom. The bed was shaking, and the headboard slapped against the wall in time with Finn's frantic thrusts. Bonnie's big boobies wobbled and flopped about, and her fingers clawed at his hair and his back and even his ass as he rode her hard. They were one big nasty as they got closer and closer to the end. Finally, with a roar, Finn shot his stuff into her belly. Bonnie bit down hard on his shoulder, screaming as she too climaxed. Finn all but collapsed on top of her, and, for a long five minutes they lay there in an exhausted heap.

Finally Finn recovered enough to realize he was crushing her. Straightening, he would have gotten off her, but Bonnie held on. Sliding her fingers through his hair, Bonnie kissed his cheek and whispered, "thank you for saving me, sweetie..." With a grin, she added, " _twice_. And thank you for two beautiful children. They're my life." Finn kissed her sweet lips and said, "any time, Peebles..."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12:

Marceline Abadeer woke up alone, just as she'd gone to bed. She'd had a dream last night–a strangely vivid dream of having someone slip into bed beside her and screw the shit out of her. Ironically, that had made her feel even worse than before. Bonnie had the real thing. She'd probably spent the night on her back, feeling Finn's big pecker sliding into her snatch. It was, in microcosm, the story of Marceline's life.

She was alone.

While everybody around her was paired up and paired off–even screwing each other silly–Marceline was alone. She'd never felt more alone than when she was standing in the middle of her own party last night, watching Finn and Bonnie dance with each other. It was all the more incongruous because she'd always taken comfort in the fact that Bonnie's social skills were probably a shade worse than _hers_. Bonnie was incapable of giving a guy enough of her time and energy to make it worth his while. Finn was the only guy who'd ever been willing to look past the candy-girl's issues to love her anyway.

That was the thing, though. Somehow Bonnie had the guy, and Marcy didn't understand why. Like Bonnie, she'd been a loner most of her life. She'd had boyfriends, but none of them seemed to last. They were all insincere little pricks. The only person who'd been willing to do anything for her–to go to the mat for her–was Finn. Finn had been willing to throw away his own soul to save hers. He put up with all the dirty, sneaky underhanded _crap_ she dished out and never complained. He _laughed_. He actually _laughed_ about most of it. If anything, he seemed to see past the anger and the outbursts to the hidden pain that was what really made Marceline tick, and he was glad to fill the endless empty hours as best he could.

When Bonnie dumped on him, Finn just spent the time he'd given her on Marcy. When Bonnie made it clear that she was never going to be anything but what she was, Finn had come over to Marceline's house even more often than before. So why the fuck was he with _her_?! Finn and Bonnie had made it. They'd fucked–for real this time. She'd watched the pink pain duck and dodge around that moment for what seemed like an eternity. Now, Bonnie had given up pretending she was aloof from it all. She wanted a man in her life. She wanted Finn.

A voice inside Marceline asked a dangerous question. What did _she_ want? She had reconciled with her son. She'd tried to keep Marshall almost as a sort of surrogate for having a mate. At the end of the day though, he _wasn't_. He had moved on with his life. Marceline had _made_ him move on. He was feeling guilty for having abandoned her, and she knew how that could eat at a person. At the same time, she knew she'd been doing a pretty good job of fucking up his life, much the same way her father had fucked up hers. Marshall had to move on. He had to become his own person just as she'd had to. She'd done the right thing for her precious boy, in spite of the cost.

And now Marcy was hurting.

It felt... _unfair_. Bonnie was almost as old as Marceline, and she had gone through the same cycles of watching people around her die. She'd become cold and distant as the Vampire Queen herself. She'd treated Finn like a tool, using him to get what she wanted and giving him very little in return. She had harshed on him so many times that even jaded Marceline was shocked. She'd interfered in his life and wrecked his relationships.

And yet he always came back.

That was the hell of it all. Finn always came back. He always forgave Bonnibel Bubblegum for whatever cruel thing she'd said or done to him. He had her back. He protected her. He ignored the nasty politicking and back-stabbing she did, and Marceline couldn't understand why. Why was _Bonnie_ the one he chose to love like that? Why did _she_ get a chance? For that matter, why didn't _Marceline_ get a chance? With all they'd been through together–just as much as what he'd been through with Bonnie–she felt he owed her at least that. Unfortunately, no answer was forthcoming. Rising, the vampire resolved to get on with her empty life. She could lose herself in the music if she tried. Pain drove her music and made her songs edgier. When she lost herself in the music, she could hide from the pain for a while.

Nearby in the same hotel, Bonnie woke to the soft sound of Finn snoring in her ear. She sighed and stroked the hand he had on her tummy. They'd been at it half the night last night. She'd reaped the reward of Simone and Emeraude's absence and sudden interest in their new horizons. Rolling over, she kissed her boyfriend's sweet lips and said, "morning, tiger. Want to have breakfast in bed? I can order something." Muzzily, he said, "uh... yeah... Sure, Peebles..." Giggling, she kissed him again before reaching for the phone.

As her hand touched the phone, it was ironically _Finn's_ phone that rang. Groggy, Finn fumbled for it and found it was Simone. Alarmed, he jumped out of bed and ran out into the suite's living room. Flicking answer, Finn greeted his wife with, "is everything ok?" Simone stammered out, "uh... yes, honey... Why wouldn't things be fine?" He could tell she was lieing just by the quaver in her voice. Just like Simon, Simone was _rotten_ with lieing. Alarmed, Finn demanded, "where's E?" "Here, donk," the wizard announced. Finn sighed his relief. "Just calling to let you know stuff's wrapping up in the forest," Emeraude said. "We'll be home in a few days." "Ok," said Finn.

The hero found himself wracking his brain for something to say. In spite of his current situation, he found himself hungry for the sound of their voices. On top of that, he was worried about Bill, and he wanted their thoughts on that. Before he could open his mouth, Betty's voice intruded. "The Matriarch's Emissary is here," announced the older woman. "Sorry, Finn," said Emeraude. "We gotta go..." "W-wait," stammered the hero, but they hung up.

Bonnie came out then wearing that transparent nightie. Her eyes told of the pain she felt. She was the mistress, and they were sneaking around together. At the same time, she was still Bonnie. "How are things going," she asked? Some of it was curiosity. A lot of it was a keen interest in having Simon in control of Wizard City. She knew Simon and had influence over him. "I can't get a word in, edgewise," Finn muttered. He was starting to fucking hate Betty. "At least the girls will be home soon," he murmured.

He only realized how that would feel to Bonnie when he'd said it. His face was a study in horror when he glanced up at her. Bonnie said not a word to that. Instead, she came to him and sat down on his lap. Slipping her arms around his neck she kissed his rough lips. The gesture seemed to say that was ok. Moments later, they were kissing again–stealing time before they had to part.

Back in the Grey Forest, Simone and Emeraude found themselves facing the Matriarch's emissary. The portly older woman wore an expression like thunder as she stood in Marphisa's kitchen. "Ok," said Huntress. "What gives?" When last they left the Matriarch's office, they had Marjolaine locked up and a deal on the table. Now this. "Marjolaine's escaped," rumbled the plump woman. Conscious as she was of the bad blood between Emeraude and her evil harridan of a mother, Simone was immediately alarmed. "How did this happen," she demanded? Face suffused in a deep-emerald blush, the nymph admitted, "we don't know... We... we were hoping you could tell us..."

The emissary led the quartet down to the Lawkeeper's rough little jail. As they walked, Emeraude found herself going back in time. She remembered... She'd gone down to the jail with her mother to identify the remains of an aunt. Aunt Tabitha had been murdered by a john when she laughed at his little pencil-dick. When they got no help from the corrupt Lawkeeper, Emeraude had cut the john's little dick off in vengeance.

In retrospect, that had been the _start_ of her journey into darkness. She'd been jailed, of course. You couldn't harm johns. They put money for food and shelter on the table. That had started a riot, forcing the Lawkeeper's replacement. Sebua, as new Lawkeeper, made a show of expelling the worst offenders, and she forced the Gathering to make it law that brothels log all violence and send weekly reports of abuse to her office. Emeraude had been _delighted_ at the time. That little incident had given the wizard her first taste of power.

Her next memory of the place was of coming down to beg the Lawkeeper's help in rescuing Marphisa from slavers after a raid on the town. Sebua had been admittedly harried from dealing with hundreds of grieving relatives that day. She'd had scant patience for the apprentice wizard, and she'd kicked Emeraude out on her ass. That had been another inflection point. Determined not to be a victim, the young woman had immersed herself in darkness to attain power. It wasn't a stretch to say Finn saved her life in more ways that the obvious one.

The place was eerily quiet when the little party came through the gate. The warrior-wizard was keenly aware of how _wrong_ the little prison felt. The few times she'd been in this place, the sounds of shouted curses and catcalls had filled her ears. The wretches jailed here–men and women both–had little else to do. So where were they all? Had Marjolaine released them?

The plushy led them up to the headquarters where a pair of nervous deputy lawkeepers stood guard with bows and full quivers. That was odd, and Huntress Wizard didn't like odd. Odd usually meant trouble. Frown showing her worry, she followed the emissary into the jail's interior to find a scene of devastation. The plump woman went a little pale at the malodorous scent that filled that ugly little space. As Emeraude Mertens scanned the scene, she found clumps of bone covered in a scabrous growth of mold and sickly mushrooms where people had been. There were a few corpses, Sebua's among them. They wore leprous gray visages that looked much like they had been mummified centuries back.

Betty lost it. Between the corpses and the stench, the proud woman ended up hurling. She rushed outside and threw up in the courtyard. Simone went outside to check up on her. Meanwhile, Simon went to one of the corpses and examined it more closely. "This looks familiar," he murmured. "Huh," asked Huntress? "Nothing," the older man replied. "Thinking out loud..." Betty wasn't the only person to have trouble. The emissary also had to bow out as Huntress and Simon grimly made their way through the empty jail, taking stock of everything they saw.

Everyone was dead. Every man or woman in that place had met the same horrific fate. Neither Simon nor Emeraude recognized the spell involved, though both were certain magic was at play here. Which was a strange thing because as far as Huntress knew, her mother didn't have even a _hint_ of the spark. She'd been a disappointment to Emeraude's grandmother. Of all her daughters, only Marjolaine and Marphisa lacked the spark. Some few, like Tabitha, simply had no interest in it. The rest were either dead or part of the two-thousand or so wood nymph practitioners in the Grey Forest.

"She couldn't have done this," muttered Huntress. They were exiting the cell block across from the jail's office. "So she's got an ally," Simon replied. His lovely companion nodded, and it was clear from her expression that she was very troubled by all of this. "She doesn't appear to have hung around," Simon opined. Huntress nodded. She'd made her escape, clearly, but that didn't say she would stay away. If she had the power to do in every face in the jail–a hundred souls–in one night without anyone being the wiser, Marjolaine had become dangerous indeed.

The emissary took the quartet back to the Matriarch's home, where they found the old woman and the remainder of her cabinet gathered. Almost as soon as she caught sight of the young war-wizard coming through her door, the Matriarch was on her feet, demanding, "well?" It was a side of her that none there could recall seeing, and it said something about the fear that _she_ felt. The Matriarch had trusted Marjolaine Baudin with all manner of secrets. What power did the bitch now have that she could so readily walk away from justice?

Huntress replied, "short answer is that we don't know." Which wasn't the answer any of the cabinet wanted to hear. These people had caught the bitch in the first place. The Matriarch wanted them to catch her again. It was a truism in their world that no wood nymph ever truly left the Grey Forest. They _always_ came back. Whether they came slinking home with just the clothes on their back or they came like lions with the intent of taking over, everyone came back. It was a certainty that Marjolaine would be back, and she was unlikely to come slinking in when she had the power to kill a hundred at one go.

In confident tones, the wizard woman said, "she's on the run right now. Likely, she's run off to whoever she works with. Right now, you're safe." Though, truth be told, Huntress hardly believed that herself. Simon swore that he would do all he could to help them. Without prompting. Simone was proud of him, though Betty was irritated strangely enough. Shaking her head, the Matriarch muttered curses. That was clearly not good enough to suit her. Stopping in the middle of her pacing, she turned to the woman who'd helped precipitate this terrible turn of events and calmly said, "very well, Emeraude Baudin. We will follow your suggestions."

The warrior-wizard relaxed visibly. She'd feared this would fall apart. Simone felt she shouldn't have relaxed so soon. There was another shoe waiting. "I'll get to Wizard City in a few days to do some digging," Huntress promised. Shaking her head, the Matriarch told her, "that will not be enough, Lawkeeper..." The wizard's jaw came open. Calmly, the old woman told her, "since Sebua is no longer with us, I am called to appoint a new Lawkeeper. Given the nature of our foe, it seems to me that our best hope would be a woman with the spark. Please go and recruit replacements for the slain officers and inform me of your future plans..."

When Emeraude might have blown up at her, Betty signaled her to shut her mouth. In short order, the quartet got dismissed. Simone was proud of Emeraude. She kept her temper the whole way back to her aunt's house. Instead of blowing up and getting them jailed or kicked out of town–and wrecking all the work they'd done–the little woman held her peace. It was only when they were walking through the door of Marphisa Baudin's home that she lost her temper.

"Son-of-a-bitch," howled the wizard! She slung her cloak off and hurled it into a corner. "What's gone wrong," asked Marphisa? "That fucking bitch," growled the wizard! "Stop whining like a bitch," Betty interrupted! "This could help us!" Turning to face the nasty witch, Huntress jabbed a finger at her and said, "I have a _life_ , Betty. I have a husband and kids..." "Your kids are grown," the older woman tartly retorted. "The only one still living at home is Star. And as for Finn, well, he's a _man_. He'll manage."

Marphisa repeated her question, but Betty was moving on. Heading to the couch, she said, "you'll just have to go through with it for a while. You can keep an eye on them. Make sure they hold up their part of the bargain. We'll do what we can to find Marjolaine. When we've caught her and her allies, you can resign." "Resign," asked Marphisa? "From what?" "I-I...," stammered Emeraude. "What, dear," asked her aunt? With a heavy sigh, the wizard said, "I've just been made Lawkeeper." That made the older woman howl laughter, which did absolutely nothing for the wizard's dignity. Simone hugged her, saying, "it's a risk, sweetie. We knew this wasn't going to be simple. Just... just stick it out, ok?" "What'll Finn say," murmured Emeraude? "We'll make it up to him," Simone promised. "I swear it."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13:

The table was set. Van was at the babysitter's. Star was out with friends, and Finn had the house to himself. Antsy, he kept bouncing out of his chair and over to the window to peek out and look for Simone's truck. He'd cooked up the girls' favorites, and he was praying they got here before it all got cold. Getting to talk to them on the phone had improved a lot–which was to say it was hit or miss instead of impossible. E's unpleasant trip to her mom's dungeon finally got revealed, which had Finn irritated and ready to belt Betty, but that whole deal got smoothed over. Now this was the day the girls were due to get back home.

The sound of a truck coming up the driveway alerted the hero, and he once again did his dance, bouncing out of the chair. This time, instead of going to the window, he went straight down the stairs to the front door and snatched it open just as Simone reached out with her key. She was a little startled when the door went flying open, but before she could recover from the surprise, Finn had snatched her off her feet and begun to twirl her around and around in the entry. Settling her back on her feet again, he had her pushed up against the wall, kissing her lips, grabbing her butt, and generally showing her how much he missed her. "Wow, donk," Emeraude chuckled.

The big man turned to his second wife with a sheepish smile on his face. She stood there in the doorway, a teasing smile on her pouty lips. She said nothing at all as he knelt down before her, wrapped his arms around her waist, and pressed his face against her flat tummy. The wizard-woman stroked his long, blonde hair tenderly. Before they could savor the moment, though, Betty Petrikov shoved past them, announcing, "get a room." Finn glanced up to see the obnoxious woman's backside going upstairs towards his kitchen. Sheepishly, Simone offered, "mom and dad decided to stop by for a while, honey..." Which Finn took to mean that bitch was going to 'strategize' all evening. He was furious!

"C'mon," said Huntress. "I'll cook something..." "I already did," rumbled an angry Finn. The way he said that clued the wood nymph that this was going off kilter fast. She wasn't sure what to do, but Simon came in then, interrupting any nasty things that might have gotten said. Shutting the door, Finn locked it and followed the trio up the stairs where things went from bad to worse as they found Betty filling a plate for herself from Simone and Emeraude's homecoming feast. "You guys got him trained good," she said, as she nibbled at the beef stew Finn had cooked up for E. Simone and Emeraude's faces both went red hot. Simon actually looked humiliated as he watched his wife of eighteen years make a complete ass out of herself. Coming to the table, she put the plate down, opened up her notebook, and dug in.

Before Finn could blow up, knocking at the door announced more trouble. "Honey," Simone asked in a wheedling tone? "Would you go and get that?" "Yeah," muttered Finn. "I should go get you guys' stuff too." The way he said it suggested he was being chivalrous, but Simon thought he was close to exploding. He'd been talking to Betty about this for the last couple of years, suggesting she lay off Finn. He'd had patchy success with that. Now he thought they needed to have that conversation again.

Downstairs, Finn jerked open the door to find Phoebe, Marceline, Bonnie, Bon, and Frenchie all on his doorstep. "Good evening, father," said Bon. "We were told that Simon was here..." "Upstairs," growled Finn as he pushed past the quartet. Marceline had rarely ever seen that expression on Finn's face. The last time she'd seen it was when he heard about Ash's attempt to murder her. Marceline shooed Bonnie and the kids upstairs. She wanted to see what was up with Finn.

The big man went straight up to E's truck and started gathering up the stuff in the bed. The two banana guards standing beside Bonnie's limo saluted him, but he was hardly paying attention. "Hey, top-banana," Marcy teased him. "Yeah," Finn half-growled. "So what happened," she asked? "Fucking Betty happened," he muttered. It was a little crazy, in a way. Here was this dude, banging Bonnie on the side. Enthusiastically, if Bonnie was to be believed. At the same time, he was totes in love with the wife(s), and that hardly seemed to have changed for the intervening months. He looked about ready to kill Betty.

"You shouldn't be out here, Marcy," he muttered. "You should go inside where it's safe." He'd become paranoid about that since Ash's attempt to do her in. He got a little crazy when he saw her out in the sun with just a hat or an umbrella for protection. Glancing up, he gave the Goth-girl a good looking over. It was typical Marcy today. Tee-shirt, skinny-jeans, and red boots. The only concession she'd made to the sun was a hat and scarf and a pair of gloves. Chuckling, Marceline told him, "I rode over with Bonnie." But it was a pretty safe bet that she didn't ride to Bonnie's place in a car. She'd probably flown on her own. Seeing the expression on his face, the vampire said, "alright, Finn, but we should talk, ok?" "Yeah," he said. "Later."

Marceline preceded Finn into the house. Minutes after she'd gone inside, Finn came upstairs with the girls' luggage to find everyone chowing down on the feast he'd cooked. Shaking his head, the hero went upstairs with the luggage and deposited it in a corner of the master-suite. Counting to ten to calm himself down again, he took his time going back down the stairs. By the time he returned, there was little left but scraps. He'd promised leftovers for Star, and he'd intended to eat a couple of days worth himself. Now there was nothing.

Bonnie was in the midst of explaining something, and Finn put aside his anger to listen. "According to legend," said the pink princess, "centuries before the age of enlightenment, Death ruled supreme with absolute power over when and how a being would die." She'd come dressed in sexy short-shorts that were tucked tight against her magnificent ass beneath a crop-top tied up under her plump boobies. "The age of enlightenment changed that," Bonnie explained. "Humans learned to ward off pestilence and disease and lived drastically increased life-spans. For every trick Death had at his disposal, humanity had a counter. All but one... Humanity never learned to ward off the scourge of war." "Because violence comes from inside," said Simon. Bonnie nodded. Just so.

Marceline asked, "so how do vamps factor in?" The pink princess replied, "according to lore, vampires were supposed to be a super-pestilence. A scourge that drugs and herbs couldn't eliminate." Marceline's face went hot. "Guess he didn't count on Marcy," Finn laughed as he tousled the vampire's hair in good humor. Marceline glared at him, looking perilously like she'd belt him. Bonnie chuckled. "Yes, Finn," she said. "When Marceline took down the Vampire King and his court, she shattered the Pact Primeval..." Marceline was on her feet, then. "W-what's that," she demanded? Bonnie was having a little bit of fun with this. She turned to shoveling food in her mouth, making them all–but especially her dearest friend–wait. Marceline was ready to shake the shit out of her when she'd finished stuffing her face.

"The Pact," said the princess, "is an ancient agreement between the Vampire Court and Death. In exchange for their service in enforcing his will, Death grants the Vampire King and his subjects a form of immortality. They exist somewhere between life and death, but unknown to both. To insure that they would not be alone or tempted towards preserving the lives they were meant to take, Death offers them the Kiss of Eternity." They were back on _very_ familiar ground now. Several of the vampires had offered to grant Marceline their _kiss_. Only the Vampire King had succeeded. As she was destroying him, he was passing on his curse to her. Smiling in response to Finn's dazed look, Bonnie explained, "a vampire is allowed to pass on his or her curse to the handful of people closest to him or her. It sort of depends on the vampire's strength, though. The weakest can only pass the curse on to one other person. Someone like Marceline could probably do it to dozens at once."

"Can it be undone," asked the vampire? Bonnie sighed, heavily. No longer amused, she admitted, "yes, Marceline, but it's very dangerous. Death intended the process to be a one-way street. Once someone is cursed, they're not supposed to go back. You would have to go to Death's lair and bargain with him." Which would likely be about as much fun as bargaining with Aquandrius the Wishmaster.

"A fun story," Betty chuckled, "but Death isn't a person..." "Yeah," said Simon. "He is." His wife frowned at him. "He used to hassle me," said Simon. "Kept reminding me that I was going nuts and that I'd be better off if I just let him take me." As Betty goggled at him, Simon told her about how Death had tempted him when they were on the flying carpet headed towards Wizard City. "He's kind of a jerk," agreed Finn. When the others were looking at him, the hero explained, "he wants souls. He doesn't really like people who live forever." Face gone thoughtful, Betty said, "well I'm not sure how _we_ could help you, Marceline..." Marcy admitted, "I'm trying to figure it out myself..." Frowning, she said, "I just need a bargaining chip. Something to make him release Marshall."

Finn moved to collect the dishes. As he took Bonnie's plate, she brushed her hand across his arm, smiling and winking as she did. By way of covering his surprise, he told Marceline, "well, you could try a Battle of the Bands with him. Death's a rocker too." The vampire was very interested in that. Said she, "what kind of music does he play?" Finn chuckled, "death metal. What else?" Nodding, Marceline said, "I'll have to think about that. Thanks, Finn. Thanks, Bonnie." "No prob," said Finn. "Anybody for a movie?" As Phoebe, Simon, Simone, and Emeraude perked up, Betty squished the idea pretty thoroughly, announcing, "we still need to figure out how to neutralize the Wizard Police. If their union declares for Harod the Grim, we're done for." Just like that, Finn's homecoming party for his girls got converted into Betty's strategy session.

Finn bent to the task of cleaning up the aborted 'party', shuttling back and forth to the sink with dishes and silverware. Marceline felt bad for him. This was about as bad as bad got. As she moved to the kitchen to sort of try cheering him up with a little singing, Bonnie moved in first. "Let me help," she said. Which was about as good as her saying that she was going to try flirting and teasing under Simone and Emeraude's noses. Fuming, Marceline turned and headed back into the living room, leaving the pink pain in the ass to her scheming.

Down near ten, Simone and Emeraude were showing the strains of the long hours they'd been working. Seeing his daughter nodding off, Simon shut down Betty's endless scheming over the Wiz Cops and their other assorted adversaries in favor of heading for home. He wanted to get a little sleep himself, and he wanted his little girl to get some rest. A grateful Finn escorted the pack down to the door where he found his two bananas staring out into the darkness in worry. Brushing past them to open the door, Finn quickly figured out why.

"Glob," stammered Finn! He'd never seen a knife-storm this bad before. One of the guards announced, "it's been like that for the last hour!" "Whyn't you say something," howled their commander?! He was ready to pound both of them, but Simone moved past that. This was dangerous, and nobody needed to be out in that. "Looks like you're all staying here," she said. Turning away from the door, she headed upstairs announcing, "Phoebe can have the furnace or oven if she likes. Bonnie can share with Emeraude and I. Marcy? You can sleep in Fionna's room. Daddy? You and mom can have Billy's room. Bon? You and Frenchie can stay in Star's room." Arriving in the kitchen once more, Finn asked, "uh... where'm I sleepin'?" He'd sort of been looking forward to bangin' one of the girls tonight. Emeraude laughingly retorted, "on the couch, donk. You're not a guest." Finn stuck his tongue out at her.

Simone and Emeraude bustled around, getting out bedding and other odds and ends, while Bon and Frenchie played grab-ass in the corner. Bonnie gave Finn suggestive smiles, licking her lips and giving him the eye, while Finn did his best not to notice. It was an atmosphere that threatened to blow up on him. He had his girlfriend in the house dressed in sexy tight shorts and a tight top, and he had his wives–oblivious to what his girlfriend was doing–moving around in the house trying to find places for everybody to sleep.

At the same time, Phoebe had her head stuck in the stove, trying to decide if that would be comfortable enough. The sight of her, with that big, round ass stuck out behind her, was enough to give Finn an instant boner. It helped not at all that he _knew_ Phoebe's body pretty much had all the right bits. "Mmm... It's a little tight in there," said the elemental. Finn rumbled, "I bet it is." Then he blushed at his own double entendre. "I think I'll look at the furnace," announced the elemental, as she headed for the stairs. When she'd gone, Bonnie sidled up to him and stroked the back of his hand with hers. Finn had a sudden vision of all three of his women sleeping in his bed upstairs. That did little to help him with the hard dick he had just now.

Bonnie's dazzling smile and plump lips made him think of the way she'd sucked his whang in his office that morning, and he had to make himself glance away. Of course that left him staring into Marcy's red eyes. There was something there that made him wonder if she didn't realize what he and Bonnie had been doing. Finn decided to go look into making the couch in his office comfortable. It was a lot better padded than the one in the living room. Marceline watched him go, feeling a stab of jealousy. It was obvious that Finn was banging Bonnie on a regular basis now, and Bonnie couldn't be happier. She'd come in with a brilliant smile on her face, and she'd been flirty and giggly all evening.

Simone came back downstairs with pillows and blankets for Marceline. Handing them off, she asked, "where's Phoebe?" "Went down to the furnace," said Bonnie. "Oh," said Simone. "Alright." Marcy took the pillows and blankets and carried them into the little bunny-girl's room, laying them out on the bed. When she returned to the living room, she found Simone kissing Finn good night. "See you in the morning, babe," said Finn as he grabbed a handful of that meaty ass. "Ooh, Finn," squealed the beautiful sorceress. Emeraude went next, and she grabbed _his_ ass instead. Then all three of Finn's women went up the stairs.

Finn watched those wiggling butts go, and Marcy just knew what he was thinking. He had both his known and unknown girls here in the house at the same time. Which meant he was pretty much fucking _none_ of them. As those three wiggling asses disappeared from sight, Finn gave vent to a heavy-hearted sigh. Turning to Marcy, he said, "'night, Marcy..." Then he went into his office to go to bed.

Marceline stood there a bit longer as her mind tumbled over dangerous thoughts. She wanted a boyfriend. She hadn't had a boyfriend in twenty fucking years. She hadn't been laid in twenty fucking years. Simone and Emeraude were getting it. Even _Bonnie_ was getting it. Going into her room, the vampire got out of her boots and jeans and stretched out on the covers in tee-shirt and panties. Floating there, trying to sleep, she found her thoughts whirling around in her brain like a jumble of disconnected emotions.

As the hours crawled by, those disjointed thoughts and fears slowly began to solidify. Her emotions coalesced around one singular thought. Finn was just a few feet away, and his wives were upstairs, completely oblivious to the traitor in bed with them. All three of the women who owned a piece of Finn were upstairs. That left Finn all alone down here. When the boy-prince started fucking his barely-legal little slut again, Marcy had had enough.

Rising, she floated out to the living room to find the place empty. Nobody was there. Listening carefully, she floated across the living room to the entry for Finn's study. Just as she'd guessed, he was inside, sprawled out on the floor asleep. Floating through the doorway, she closed the door behind her, then floated over to his bed. He looked so cute asleep–drooling on the pillow. Dressed in his boxers and a tee-shirt, Finn was completely oblivious.

Marceline knelt at his side, and eased his boxers down, exposing his cock–the nasty piece of meat that Bonnie had said was fucking huge. Gently she stroked it–just feather-light touches–as it slowly hardened under her touch. She couldn't really help thinking of Bonnie's words–how she'd ridden that fat dick in Finn's hospital room. Slipping a hand down the front of her panties, the vampire began to rub her horny pussy, teasing her own button as she continued to jerk on Finn's fat cock. Slowly it began to harden under her touch, getting longer and fatter as Finn began to moan in his sleep. Marcy bit her lip, feeling the hot girl-juice flow, moistening her pussy as she slid a finger in and out of her hungry snatch.

As Finn's fat boner sprang to full attention, she went over the edge, biting her lip and whining deep in her throat. She had to have it. She had to have that cock. Slipping her soggy panties off, Marceline climbed up over him, aimed the fat shaft at her dripping snatch, and sank down.

It hurt a little. There was so much dick, it seemed rather like it wouldn't go in. But the vampire kept trying. She slowly eased down that fat dick, forcing a little of it at a time up her honey-hole. At the same time, she rubbed her hot button, trying hard to keep the hot juice flowing. More and more of his fat dong disappeared up her pussy until at long last her hips made contact with his. Marcy moaned long and loud.

And that was what woke Finn.

If you'd asked what Finn expected to see when he woke up, Marceline riding his dick was pretty far down the list. Before he could say a word, she clamped a hand over his mouth. "Shh," hissed the raven-haired beauty. Leaning down, she said, "I want my turn, Finn..." Throwing her head back, the sexy vampire lady moaned in heat. "You're so fucking big," she breathed. Finn sat up and tried to push her off of him. Much like Huntress had, Marcy wrapped her long legs around him and held on.

Holding him tight against her, Marceline whispered, "I never got a chance with you... I missed my chance..." She sounded... _hurt_. Looking into her eyes, he found tears. Finn found himself a little irritated. Were _all_ his old flames going to hit on him? It was bad enough he'd gone over the line with Bonnie, but now Marcy too? Marcy said, "can't you love me a little, Finn? You love _her_!" The color drained out of his face as he realized that she knew about he and Bonnie. He was so dead. He was completely screwed now. As long as it was just he and Bonnie, he'd felt like there was a chance at hiding things and maybe getting them back to normal. Now...

"Please, Finn," Marcy sniffled. "I... you know you love me..." Slipping his fingers behind her head, Finn drew her face to his and kissed Marcy. There was no snide comment about 'no tongue' this time around as he swapped spit with his beautiful 'bro'. Marceline enthusiastically kissed him back, her serpentine tongue teasing at his. Her lips were as cool to the touch as Simone's had been when the Crown controlled her. He could almost feel her leeching the heat out of his body. At the same time, he felt her hard body grinding against his, her snatch milking his hard fucker.

Breaking that hot kiss, Marceline put her lips to his ear and whispered, "fuck your pussy, pretty baby..." Finn began to stroke her, drawing back and then shoving that hard dong deep up her hot channel. "Oooh, yeah...," whined Marcy as he began to rail her. She buried her face in the crook of his neck, as he began to ride her hard. Her hot snatch felt like a vice, and he wondered when the last time was that she'd gotten laid. Ash, maybe?

At the same time, she was so beautiful, and he was getting to fuck her at last. He was not ashamed to say that Marceline had figured prominently in a fantasy or three when he was a teen. Straightening a little, he reached down and caressed those plump knobs of hers. Pointy like two pears, they wobbled and jiggled in his hands, the hard nips already poking out. Bending down he sucked hard on the left one–one of the baby-food factories that had fed his son. "Oh, yes, baby," she moaned. Back arching, hands clawing at the floor, Marceline went over the edge, her snatch clamping down painfully tight on him. Finn groaned and very nearly shot off right there. The handsome hero grabbed his shirt and stuffed a corner of it into her mouth, gagging her. Then he put her knees up on his shoulders. Marceline blinked in surprise.

And then he began to pound her. Hard.

Finn pushed the sexy vampire's hands up over her head as he slammed that fat log back and forth in her tight pussy. Thrashing and squealing into her gag, Marceline began to climb the heights of pleasure again. It was so fucking good. It was every bit as good as Simone and Bonnie had said. He was a fucking stud. Her stupid, dork of a friend–the guy she'd teased for half his life–was a fucking certified stud.

He knew just how to play the notes. He stroked her body like a delicate instrument, causing sweet music to come out. Hot girl goo drooled from her overheated snatch in a steady stream, lubing the hard dong that pistoned in and out of her tender honey-pot. The girth was so wide, it seemed like her poor pussy would turn inside out every time he pulled it out. The way he held her and used her... It was like the bondage games Ash used to play on her.

Finn went faster and faster, his hips like a triphammer as he thrust into her wet cavern over and over again. "Finnnnn," wailed Marceline, but the gag blocked all sound. Reaching down, he began to pinch and torment her button, getting her even more worked up. Finally the sexy vampire lady went over the edge, her hot pussy sucking the sap from his balls. Finn let her have it with both barrels, his hips thrusting and thrusting into hers as his nuts emptied themselves.

The Hero of Ooo lay down beside Marceline and took the gag out of her mouth. Slipping his arms around her, he pulled her to him and held her. When she was calm again and no longer trembling, he told her, "Marcy, I..." The vampire turned and put her finger to his lips, silencing him. "Finn," she murmured. "I know what you're going to say... Hear me out, though." Blushing, Finn nonetheless nodded. Snuggling in against him, Marceline said, "there's nothing saying a man can't have _two_ mistresses, Finn. I'm... I'm still me... I guess... I wouldn't ever really make a play to have you permanently... I'm... In a way I'm safe. I don't want that kind of thing. I'd... I'm happy just kind of being your girlfriend."

Finn wanted to scream at her. Huntress had been 'just happy' in that role. Until she wasn't anymore. Bonnie had been more or less happy with just having him around. Trouble was that things were changing there and going in a dangerous direction. Laying her head on his chest, she sighed, "just think about it... Ok?" And what was he going to say? With a heavy sigh, Finn promised he would.

Much as she wanted to lay there and sleep at his side all night, Marceline knew she needed to get back to the guest room. If Phoebe even once suspected Marceline was trying something underhanded, she might well find herself out in the knife-storm. Kissing her boyfriend on the lips and slipping him a little tongue, Marcy got her panties and tee-shirt back on before slipping back out to her room.

 **Now he's really gone and done it...**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14:

"I-I'm sorry, baby," the wizard-woman sniffed. It was a side of Emeraude that Simone knew people rarely saw. It was unlike the hardened creature that had been Huntress Wizard to have so much as a sniffle. But then neither of them had ever seen Finn so angry. Stomping around the room, muttering curses under his breath, he looked a lot like he wanted to hit somebody. Indeed, Finn _did_ want to belt someone, but it wasn't his wife. He'd been shocked and intensely, terribly angry when he found out that E had basically been used for bait to smash her mother. There were a hundred different ways that could have gone wrong, and he would have been hard-pressed to get E back from the sick fucks in the Red Palace. That was a place even he would have been afraid to go. After his experience with Teri–and having heard more than a little from E's aunt about what slavers did to their kind–Finn knew more than he ever wanted to know about the sex trade. The thought of his wife in that brought him close to violence.

But there was a second shoe waiting to drop.

Finn had known there was another shoe. Problems came in twos, after all. He'd figured that there was another unpleasant story waiting to drop on him, but he'd guessed that it would be Betty using Simone for something awful or maybe the pair of them going back to Wiz City. The reality was a little hard to bear. He'd met Marjolaine, and he knew what kind of creature she was. If E had a dark streak inside her, she'd gotten it honest. Marjolaine Baudin would gladly sell her soul, your soul, and any other souls she came across for even a temporary gain. It was an absolute certainty that she would be back with a vengeance. If she had that much power, there was a real risk that she'd be back with an army.

"Why didn't you fucking tell me," growled Finn?! "I could have..." " _Finn_ ," interrupted Simone. The big man stopped in mid rant. "Finn," growled his wife, "your duties lie _here_. Do you really think you could have convinced Bonnibel to let you stroll off to the Grey Forest for months on end when somebody's after Sweet-P?" She rarely had to haul her husband up short, but today was one of those days. He wasn't thinking clearly. Neither he nor Emeraude were. Somebody had to pick up the slack. Finn glanced down at her feet. It wasn't Bonnie that would have needed convincing. He very well knew he couldn't go running after his wives right now.

The wizard ran to him and threw herself on him. Finn hugged her tight, as she cried all over him. This was killing them. This was doing terrible harm to their family, and Simone now deeply regretted agreeing to it. She'd done it out of love and gratitude, but she'd never considered just how dangerous love could be. And, honestly, she did sometimes find herself questioning her adoptive mother's motivations. This wasn't a lark for Betty. She had become obsessed with it. "We should go," sighed Simone. They were due at her father's home in a half-hour, and it would take about that long to reach the old windmill where Simon now hung his hat. "Aren't you going to change," asked Finn? Simone was dressed in a sexy black number with lots of lace and transparent panels over her heavy bosom. Usually she wore something like that for date night. With a shrug, the beautiful sorceress replied, "it'll be fine..."

Finn and Emeraude followed Simone out to the truck and climbed inside. It said something about how bad things were that the wizard-woman climbed in back instead of sitting in the middle of the bench the way she usually did. Finn did his best to calm down as they took the long drive out to Simon's place. Taking the familiar turns, Finn found himself slowly marinading in his anger at his wives and at himself. He felt a fool for agreeing to this. And what was he going to say about it? He'd cheated on them! If they had dumped him here and abandoned him, he still had no right to bang Bonnie and Marcy. "Honey," murmured Simone. "I want you to know that we... understand how you feel. Emeraude and I... We're going to make this up." Finn flinched. He wasn't sure there was a way to make up what he'd done. "Ok," he sighed.

They rolled up on Simon's place to find a large number of cars and carriages outside. There were even a number of flying carpets. _That's odd,_ thought Finn. Simone had mentioned nothing about a dinner party. Rolling up, the big man rolled down his window at the first face he saw. It was a yellow-skinned mutant wearing a wizard-cap. "Valet parking," he announced. "Valet parking," babbled Finn? "Yes, sir," said the valet. "I'll park your conveyance over yonder. Here's your ticket." A glance at his wife suggested that Simone's comments about a dinner party were a little dishonest. "Ok," he demanded. "What's going on?" "Uh, we need to get inside, honey," Simone burbled. Her face was bright red, and Finn suddenly knew just what this was about. This was one of Simon's campaign-events.

The angry man tore the key out of the ignition and all but threw it at the valet. By that point, Simone and E had exited the truck. Finn had to force himself to calm down. Shouting had done no good when they were at home. It wasn't going to help now. Forcing himself to smile, he followed his wives up to Simon's place. Simone was deeply grateful for that. He had been _justifiably_ upset, and she hated to draw him up short like that. She knew he had every right to insist they drop this whole business. He was trying to manage, and she was proud of him for that.

At the same time, she was praying to glob that he could keep his temper. Her mother couldn't seem to muster a _lick_ of empathy for him. She was forever treating Finn like the filth that followed a goldfish. Finn and Betty mixed like oil and water, and it was a certainty the older woman would try to provoke him tonight.

The fundraiser was in full swing when Finn and his little family walked in. There were wizards there from across all of Ooo. Elementals rubbed shoulders with wood nymphs. Mutants sat beside goblins. Finn found himself amazed at how many had shown up. "Wow," he opined. "Simon's doing better'n I thought..." "Well we did put in lots of work to get here," muttered Emeraude. Blushing, Finn turned to his wife of nineteen years and apologized for being a butt. With a twinkle in her eye, the wood nymph wonder slipped her arm around his and said, "maybe you can apologize again later..."

"Where have you two _been_ ," growled Betty?! Finn turned around and found himself doing a doubletake. He'd been the first to see the 'family resemblance' between his lady and Betty. Now he found himself astounded. She was wearing a tight black dress that, while not as sexy as Simone's, still pressed all the right buttons. The soft silk hugged her curves, and, together with her sassy up-do, made her kind of sexy.

As Simone stammered apologies, Betty snapped, "nevermind that! Why's he dressed so casually?! He can't give a speech like _that_!" Finn, who'd just turned to glance at his wife to see if she understood what the madwoman meant, now found his headed whipping back and forth between Betty's beautiful face and Simone's. "I-I," stammered the sorceress. "Forget it," muttered Finn. He knew what was going on. Betty was bullying Simone. Again. Still. Glaring at Simon's wife, Finn demanded, "what speech?" The hostile woman thrust a pack of papers in Finn's face. "I know you can read, Finn," she said. "That's all you have to do." Taking the papers, Finn said, "c'mon, guys. Let's find a spot." "Head table," growled Betty. Finn shooed her away.

In short order, the trio found themselves seated very near Simon at the head table. Finn did his best to open a conversation with his old 'bro', but it became clear fairly quickly that Simon was just as trapped in the campaign as Simone and E. A couple of dudes out of Wiz City cornered him, and started bending his ear about his ideas for running the place. Finn returned to his seat and started idly thumbing through the 'speech' that Betty had handed him. Part way through, Betty showed up and dragged Simone off.

When she'd gone, Emeraude said, "I'm sorry I had to interrupt our conversation the other day..." Puzzled, Finn frowned at her. Blushing a little, she added, "the other conversation, donk." It was Finn's turn to blush as he remembered her calling to phone-sex him. Taking his hand, she put it on her thigh and said, "I promise to call more often, baby..." And that was when Betty reappeared. "Need you to talk to Gargath," said the obnoxious housewife. With a sigh, Emeraude got up and went off with Simon's beautiful problem. As they walked into the crowd, Betty glanced back and admonished him to read the speech.

Half of Finn didn't want to be bothered. He wanted to spite her. The other half of him wanted to prove that he was responsible. A sliver of him remembered all the stupid times he'd had with Simon. Simon was his bro. After all they had been through together, right, wrong, and indifferent, the dude deserved whatever help Finn could give him. With a sigh, Finn began to read.

What he found on the page was his worst nightmare. It was a lot like Betty had harvested the dictionary to find every big word there was. Then she'd somehow used some of Bonnie's science to string them together into vast, complicated sentences that he hadn't a prayer of understanding, much less repeating. He did his best, drilling down through the pages and trying to stay focused while his mind tried to wander. In the end, he lost the fight. His mind wandered. He wandered through the madness that was his predicament with Bonnie and Marcy. He wandered over all the great loves of his life.

There were a whole lot of women who'd wanted a piece of him over the years. Bonnie and Marcy were just the two closest. The idea of all of them taking a shot terrified him. Hell, if even a few did, he could well be a dead man. Not only was he unlikely to survive trying to satisfy the whole pile of them, there were a large number of princesses in that list. IF they felt cheated, well, his days would be numbered. Strangely enough in the middle of all that day-dreaming, his mind wandered over P-Bot, and he found himself thinking, _she's a_ machine _, dude._ P-Bot was literally a sex-machine. Remembering his first encounter with Rattleballs, Finn realized, to his undieing terror, that P-Bot could literally fuck him to death and just not stop. It was another reason to get out of the situation he was in with Bonnie and Marcy.

Just then, Betty got up on the podium and called the gathering to order. All around him, beings scrambled to get to their seats, Simone and E among them. It was then that he realized that he'd made zero progress memorizing Betty's speech. She was going to go on a tear. He knew she absolutely despised him. Which was crazy, when he was the whole reason Simon wasn't nuts. Hell, if not for Finn, she wouldn't even be here to complain. Still, he knew that she'd blame him instead of realizing that she'd written something he was incapable of even reading. Simone never did that. To say Simon had copied Simone from Betty, the two couldn't have been more different in personality. Simone wasn't the jerk Betty was, not even half.

Settling into the seat on his left, Simone took his hand. Emeraude took the seat beside him, looking a little embarrassed. Finn told her, "forget it. It's not you." And he took her hand in his, trying to show that he was above that. He still loved his girls, in spite of the problems. Both women settled in with their heads against either shoulder as Betty gave an impassioned speech on Simon's behalf. The folks in the audience listened with a half-hearted interest. Most were far more interested in the food being doled out.

Finn opined, "her timing's off." Frowning–she knew about Finn's dislike of Betty–Simone asked, "how so?" "Dudes're eatin'," Finn replied. "She should have waited at least until dessert." Simone goggled at him. Emeraude felt they should have seen that coming. Finn had a way of seeing past complications to what really mattered. He was amazing at it. In the end, Betty's speech ended with more of a whimper than a roar, and the proud beauty slunk off stage.

Finn ate his fill, and he was happy to see Simone finish her plate. He'd been shocked to see her ribcage showing when she left the shower earlier in the week. As they ate, the trio talked for what seemed the first time in an age. Things were going well between them until Betty appeared. "Sorry, honey," said Simone. "Not you," muttered Betty. "Him..." Simone frowned. "Looks like they only want to hear he-men today," Betty groused. He briefly thought about pointing out where she'd gone wrong, but it was clear Betty wasn't in a listening mood. Finn rose, collected the tomato-sauce stained speech, and followed Betty to the podium.

The big man opened with, "good evening, everybody..." The crowd–sated by good food and conversation–gave him their undivided attention. Finn stared down at the speech Betty wrote for a minute. Frowning, he put the speech aside. Softly, he said, "I met Simon a lot of years ago... At the time, I was just a kid–just starting my life. I didn't know anything about anything. But, being a kid, I kinda' had a sense about people's character. At the time, Simon was goin' through stuff. It made him act out in some pretty dumb ways. I didn't understand it all at the time, but I could also see underneath the exterior he was really a pretty cool guy..."

Glancing over at his bro, Finn told the crowd, "I don't get asked to speak a lot. I'm not good with words... I just want you all to know... Simon's a pretty awesome dude–one of the nicest people I know. He's a good dad. He's a great friend, and I'd have to say only Princess Bubblegum knows as much stuff as he does. You all could do a lot worse for a leader, and that's the truth. Anyways, thanks for listening." As he left the podium–ignoring a fuming Betty–Finn gave Simon a smile. Blushing a little, Simon thanked him profusely.

The crowd, meanwhile, was going crazy. As Finn headed back to his chair, the man of the hour came stepping up to the podium to thunderous applause. So shocked was Betty, that she utterly failed to quiet the uproar, leaving Simon to do it. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, Finn," said Simon. Smiling, the wizard community's elder statesman began to speak. Finn, halfway back to his seat, was only half-listening. His eyes were on the valet coming up the main aisle. There was something odd about him. The little wizard had his wand in his hand, and he was focused with laser precision on Simon.

Finn glanced around him. The valet wasn't alone. While the guests listened and cheered, the folks serving up supper had changed. Some were clutching objects under their sleeves. Some had even hidden their faces under hoods. Finn turned right around and headed for the podium. He was a scant ten feet from Simon when the valet hurled a spell at the older man. The blast splintered the podium. As the valet fired again, Finn covered the distance, drawing his sword as he went. Finn deflected the next shot and the next as two Wiz-Cops snatched Simon off his feet and rushed out of the garden as chaos erupted.

The servants drew weapons and went after anybody they could reach. Simone froze the arm of the servant trying to stab her. Huntress snapped the arm off at the wrist and smashed the frozen limb into the dead man's hand. With Simon gone, the rogue valet now aimed for Betty. Finn tackled her on the fly, knocking her out of the line of fire. Betty struggled beneath Finn, shouting, "let me up!" As the valet continued to try to slag her, Finn held her down. Betty shrieked, as dirt geysered from the ground inches from her face. " _E_ ," Finn shouted! "On it," his wife replied!

Finn heard the tell-tale * _THUMP*_ from one of her darts. Then he heard silence. Sitting up, he looked around a moment. All of the assassins were down. Most were dead. Two Wiz Cops were down too. The rest were standing around looking shocked. Rising, Finn bent, took Betty by the arm and pulled her to her feet, asking, "are you ok?" Her face was red hot. Finn hardly noticed. His mind was on the investigation he already knew he needed to conduct. "E," he called? "Check on Simon. I'm'a go see who these guys were..."

The big man waded in, checking the corpses of the former servants and asking questions of anybody still breathing. The Wiz-Cops had turned several into sticks. Many seemed dazed, as if they hadn't any idea what they'd done. Finn began to get a sneaking suspicion that magic was involved in this somehow. Of course, he quickly found himself at loggerheads with the lead wizard-cop. The strange being got in his face, pointing out, "this is an assault against a dignitary of the City of Wizards. That makes it _our_ jurisdiction." Finn calmly replied, "but you're inside the Candy Kingdom, dude." Smiling, he said, "I'm happy to have your help, though. I don't understand wiz-stuff..." The wizard cop grimaced distastefully, but, after a moment's consideration, he agreed.

Together, the two of them questioned the survivors, working their way through the six souls who were actually lucid. That was what brought them to what the wizard called the 'anomaly'. She was a humanoid, with bright orange skin and misty grey eyes that reminded Finn of Simone. Bulky like Susan Strong, she had literally snapped on of the victims in half with her bare hands. Which, to the friend who kept trying to talk to her, was about as weird as weird got. The big woman, it seemed, didn't even like stepping on ants.

Her eyes were glazed as Finn looked her over. "Spell, do you think," he asked? Grimly, the wizard replied, "yeah. I think I know which one, too." Unfortunately said spell wouldn't wear off for many hours. "Maybe we don't need it to," Finn replied. "Maybe we don't even want it too." The wiz-cop frowned at him. Ignoring him, Finn turned his attention to the big woman and asked, "so... uh... what gives?" She turned those grey eyes on him and gave him a baleful stare. "You can't save him," she growled! "It is death to anyone who would shelter Simon Petrikov."

Betty came rushing forward then. Finn signaled one of the wiz-cops to stop her. As she shouted and yelled at the cop, Finn asked, "why ye wanna' hurt Simon?" "He knows too much," growled the woman. "The source needs him dead." Which made absolutely zero sense. The wizard cop had seen enough. "It's a possession," he muttered. "We'll handle this." And he whistled for his men to take charge of her. Finn let them go. He had something to work with, and he knew wizards besides them. In the now, he turned to find his wives. Huntress had just returned with Simon and the wiz-cops who had been protecting him. Now Finn turned to look for Simone. He wanted to get home, get the harsh high-heeled shoes off their feet, and do a little honest wife-worshipping.

As he was thinking those thoughts, a shocking sight struck his eyes from across the garden. Simone was standing there with one of the dudes from the table that had been right in front of the little stage. They were chatting, which was fine by Finn. Problem was, dude had his hand on Simone's butt. And she wasn't doing a thing to stop him. Finn started striding towards the pair, his vision obscured by a nasty red haze. Before he got four feet, Betty was in his way, blocking him. "Get out of my way, Betty," growled the big man. "You'd wreck everything," Betty retorted. "He's got his hand on my wife," Finn growled. "It's harmless flirting," Betty retorted. "He's an impotent little prig. He's not going to spoil your precious wife, Finn. Let it go. You said Simon was your best friend. Let this go."

Finn shoved past her, and he strode across the garden, looking to many as if he might well break the wizard in half or chop him into little pieces. Betty was readying a spell to knock him down or knock him out, but to her utter shock, Finn merely stopped within view of his wife. Simone, face red as a beet, quickly disengaged herself from that conversation. Finn took her by the arm and led her back across the garden to where Emeraude was doing her best to pretend she hadn't seen that. Finn found himself wondering what _she_ had been doing the last few months. How many dudes had given _her_ butt a squeeze? Brushing past Betty, Finn rumbled, "we're leaving." He didn't wait for her response.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15:

The man behind AJ looked as though he was following the Banana Guard.

The humanoid was a bigger fellow. Tall and built like a brick wall, he had an intimidating presence about him that set AJ's hackles up. They had been under surveillance for _days_ –almost since the moment they'd established a residence here. They'd been on the move almost since the first week, hopping from house to house and almost from town to town. Unfortunately their adversaries seemed to be very good. They would lose the trackers for maybe a day. Then they'd be back, full force.

Looking back on it, this probably wasn't one of their boss's best ideas. He'd asked AJ and his brother to take Sweet-P–the most dangerous of dangerous secrets–north and east to Froyo Kingdom. It had seemed, at the time, like the sort of grand adventure that both bananas had always dreamed of. They were going to be doing the sort of thing that Finn himself had always done.

 _But we're_ bananas _,_ thought the detective. Honestly, he would have to admit that, focused as he was, he had trouble staying on-point. That was really dangerous when they were escorting the living vessel that imprisoned the Lich all over the frozen north. Even the Banana Guard thought the Banana Guard was a joke. Why would you trust anybody like _them_ with something so dangerous? It didn't make sense.

AJ took a sharp right turn at the corner, checking to see if the dude was still back there. Right on cue, he turned the corner too. When AJ turned the next corner, the stranger mirrored him, confirming his fears. The Banana Guard nervously glanced back, finding a pair of eyes that looked like those of a madman. Terrified now, he quickened his steps. Part of him would have led this guy away from his brother and Sweet-P, but at the same time he knew that there was safety in numbers. They could hold out better at home.

Rick was in the yard with Sweet-P when his younger brother came up. Almost immediately the younger man lit into him, demanding to know why their 'guest' was outside. Rick defensively muttered, "keep your voice down! It's hard enough keeping him calm." AJ knew it was pointless to bother, but he insisted on going back inside. At the very least it would be a fight for anyone wanting to take Sweet-P. Outside, they could just walk up and grab him. "You gotta' tell him," muttered Rick. "Why do I have to tell him," AJ demanded? "Because you've been a dick to him this whole trip," retorted Rick. "He actually _likes_ me, and I'd like to keep it that way." "Fine," muttered the younger brother.

AJ went up to Sweet-P and asked, "hey, bro. Whatcha' doin'?" "Makin' a doghouse," Sweet-P replied. He'd been suggesting and hinting that he would like a dog for a week now. AJ had squished the idea, putting him off for the fact that a dog was one more complication that they really didn't have time for. "We should go inside now," AJ told him. "There's bad people in the neighborhood, and you'll be safer in the house." The strange man-boy wasn't especially happy with this latest development. This trip had been sold as a chance for him to see new things and new people. Instead, he had been spending most of his time indoors with only these two for company. He missed his dad, and he wanted to go home. "I know, kiddo," said AJ. "We're tryin', but these guys won't leave us alone. Let's go inside until they leave, ok?" Sweet-P nodded.

Hundreds of miles to the south and west, the two detectives' boss blew into Riley's Pub, after a day of grinding his way through paperwork. He was in a blue funke right now. He'd gone into a towering rage when he found out all that Betty had the girls doing to help Simon get elected. The fundraiser hadn't been the first time Torg had put his mitts on Simone. She'd had to put up with his pawing at her several times. Each time she'd said it was the last, Betty talked her into going back. Whether by pleading or by out and out bullying, Betty got her way.

The whole thing pissed Finn off on many levels. He didn't like the fact that this clown thought he could grab girls by the butt any time he felt like it. It really fried him that the butt he was grabbing was Simone's. And what fried him most of all was that Simone's own 'mom' was making her put up with it. He wanted to belt Betty. He didn't care how _harmless_ it was. She didn't care if Torg was a limp little prick. He would have busted the guy's jaw for touching any girl like that.

Naturally Simone dug in her heels. She'd promised Simon that she would help, and she had no intention of stopping now. As far as she was concerned, it was stupid for Finn to even suggest they quit now. They'd already done half a hundred things she hated. All of that would go to waste if they just walked away. The three of them had an ugly three-way fight in the treehouse, and Finn ended up sleeping in his office after the girls ganged up on him. From feeling horrible about cheating, he felt... _satisfied_. An ugly corner of his mind wanted to think that they had both been cheating on him.

The feeling didn't last. He never stayed angry at them for long. When his wives had blown out of town the same way they'd blown in, he was right back where he started–alone and depressed. Worse, in all the ugly arguments and all the fighting, he hadn't even gotten Simone to talk about Billy. She'd given him some vague promise to call Billy on the phone and talk to him, which was about as useful as Finn calling him on the phone. Neither he nor Star had been able to get the younger man to open up, but Finn had hoped that maybe if his mothers went to see him...

Of course, adding to all that was the tension from Bonnie and then Marceline. He didn't like the secret he was keeping. Marceline had stopped by twice in the three days Simone and E had been home, and Bonnie had called him repeatedly. Through it all, he bounced between wanting to shut the whole thing down and get out from under it and an honest hunger to screw either or both again–especially after the nasty fight following Simon's party.

Naturally, both decided to stop calling the minute the girls got in the truck and left town. Bonnie was down in the lab trying to invent her way to a sustainable food supply and Marceline... Well, she just wasn't taking calls. They were doing all the shit they used to do before he was married, and he was close to wanting to dump the both of them. He was lonely, depressed, and desperate for someone to talk to–someone he could open up to.

"You look like you're having a day, hero," Teri announced as he approached the bar. "Yeah," he muttered. Slipping up onto one of the stools, he ordered his usual. "Wife," she asked? Finn's face went red hot. Chuckling, she said, "when dudes are having trouble at work, they come in and blow off steam. They tell everybody what an asshole their boss is, and they clown around about what they'd like to do to him/her/it. Dudes with wifey problems... They're a lot quieter. They're pissed, but they're guarded about it." Finn nodded. She was right about that. Mad as he was, he wasn't really sure he wanted to get into his family's dirt with a stranger.

"Watch a show, Finn," Teri advised. "Go in back and watch a show. Nobody'll care if you wank it a bit as long as you don't touch and leave a good tip. Have a couple of drinks. Watch a show. Have a good time and go home. You'll feel better tomorrow." Nodding, Finn decided that he'd do just that.

Taking his drink, he went and sat down in front of the stage. He hadn't brought a pile of money, but he threw what he had at TV's wife. Like Jake said, she _was_ sexy. Broad-hipped, broad-shouldered, with a big, muscular ass that sort of attracted the eye when she was moving and plump, perky boobies that would have made a nice handful, she could nicely fill her skimpy dancing costume.

Ironically, she'd come out dressed as a Banana Guard, complete with transparent yellow banana-peel and spear. She had all the fellas at the stage drooling as she slowly peeled off that nasty outfit one piece at a time, and oh, the things she did with that spear. Riding it like a horse so the silvery shaft rubbed against her gash, rubbing her big, wobbly boobies against it and even sliding the spear up and down between them. It made Finn's mind go places that it really shouldn't have gone because, niece-in-law or not, he would not have minded boning Pearl in the least.

Pearl gave way to Tallulah, and Finn went and got more money. The water nymph reminded him of the day he'd killed Kid Twist in his house and found a pack of abducted nymphs in his basement. Those girls had been smokin' just like Tallulah, and they'd all done their best to tempt him. Honestly, he would have had to have been a statue to resist Tallulah, as she flashed that hot body with strategically placed bits of lily-pad. Boner tenting his pants, Finn tossed almost as many coins at her as he did at Pearl.

With each girl that came out, he bought another drink. With each drink he got a little drunker until he was slouched in the chair, rubbing his pecker through his pants, heedless of whether or not anyone noticed. He wasn't in the back room though, and that was supposed to be forbidden. Trouble was, the pub's bouncer was terrified of bouncing his boss from his day-job and ending up on the street with neither job. Fortunately, Riley and Teri came to the rescue.

Resting her fingers on Finn's shoulders, Riley said, "hey, tiger..." Finn leaned back, finding her staring down at him. "Oh, hey, Riley," he slurred. He could feel her big boobies against the top of his head. That made him giggle. " _Somebody_ 's had too much," she said. "B-but Nickie's gonna' to dance," Finn babbled. "You can see Nickie next week," Riley firmly told him. "I don't want to ban you, sweetie, but you're drunk." Finn was just as terrified of that as any of her other customers, and he was quick to offer profuse apologies. "It's ok, babe," the barkeep said, "you're drunk and horny, and your wives aren't paying you any attention. Come on. We'll get you a cab ride home."

The sexy barkeep was as good as her word. Teri called a cab, and their rent-a-banana half-carried Finn the Human outside. Standing by the cab door, Riley gave the cabby explicit instructions. He was to make sure Finn made it inside. He'd be banned if he didn't. The nervous cabby swore that he would, and he practically tore out of there. As the former lycanthrope watched the cab take the turn for the city gate, Teri said, "we... we need to cut him off." Riley glanced back at her friend. "He's drinkin' too much, Riley," said the wood nymph. "I know, honey," sighed the barkeep. "I... I don't know what to do for him." He was _broken_ somehow.

The cabby took Finn out of town and drove him straight out to the treehouse. Even without the instructions, he knew the way. Everybody in the Candy Kingdom knew who Finn the Human was, and they all knew where he hung his hat every night. Rolling up the driveway to the treehouse's front door, the cabby honked, hoping against hope that somebody was home, even if it _was_ the missus with a frying pan. He didn't want to get banned from Riley's, but he also didn't want to be creepin' in some dude's house tryin' to put him to bed.

As he was considering the logistics of doing just that, the door opened, and a tall, slender candy-person came out. She was hot and fuckable in the candy-person idiom–shockingly long, slim legs, an unbelievably narrow waist, and eyes the color of chocolate. "Uh," said the cabby, "he's... That is, your husband..." Lollipop came up to the side of the cab and popped the door open. "Dammit, Finn," she muttered. "Not this shit again." Finn's eyes popped open. "Oh, hey," he said. Levering himself to his feet, he tottered there a moment. Yawning, he said, "I got this, pretty girl. I'm'a go shower and get to bed... I... I think we'll be ok tonight."

A shocked Lollipop watched as he went up to the door walking unsteadily at first but getting a little stronger as he got his balance back. She'd never heard Finn say something like that before. Shaking off the surprise, she asked the cabby, "you get paid?" He was industriously checking her out, and she got a little irritated with that. "Not on your life, creep," she told him. "Get lost." The cabby turned his car around and headed back down the street. Shaking her head, she went inside to find Finn wobbling at the first landing. Locking the door behind her, she headed up after him. "C'mon," she told him as she led the way up the stairs to the master bedroom.

On solid ground again, Finn sat down in the chair and struggled with his boots. He shouldn't have worn those into the house. He certainly shouldn't have gotten them on Simone's carpet. She'd be mad when she found out, and he'd be in the doghouse for sure. And Jake's old workshed out back of the house wasn't a nice place to stay. "C'mon," said Lollipop, as she straddled his thigh and wrestled his right boot off. She put that on the wooden floor of the landing. Then, straddling his left thigh, she bent and began working on his left boot. "Wow," burbled Finn, "you sure have a nice butt..." Lollipop's head snapped around, her face red. Finn's face went red too as he realized that he shouldn't have said that.

Rising, the big man went into the bathroom, pulling his shirt off as he went. Lollipop licked her lips in hunger as she stared at the heavy muscles of his bare back. Scarred as he was from his adventures over the years, he was still a fetching man. She did like the way his butt moved. The tall, thin candy-person licked her lips as she watched him step into the bathroom, and she found herself a little startled when he shut the door behind him.

In the bathroom, Finn went to the sink, got out his toothbrush, and gave his nasty teeth a vigorous brushing. Then, after rinsing, he peeled off his pants and boxer-briefs before climbing into the shower. What was wrong with him? He shouldn't have gotten drunk. He'd just wanted to go down and see Teri and Riley and talk for a little while. Rubbing at his eyes, he realized that he was likely to have a pounding headache tomorrow. And he really should get in to work. At the same time, he was a little horny. He'd been close to popping off in the bar. That was stupid, but at the time, he couldn't have been bothered to care. He would gleefully have screwed any of the pack of those girls.

As he was thinking of that, he heard the shower curtain be jerked back. As he felt the cool draft from the bathroom air, a slim form slipped into the shower with him. A pair of small hands began to massage at his shoulders. Finn turned and found himself staring into Lollipop's brown eyes. He took one look at her slim body–naked and glistening from the shower–and lost all sense of control. He pushed her up against the wall and got to grips with her thin body.

Finn was rough with the tasty sucker, his hands squeezing her cute little bottom and pinching the already-hard little nips jutting out from her dainty little boobies. At the same time, it was definitely a turn-on for the older woman. She had known Finn a lot of years, and she'd done her share of flirting with him. It seemed everybody in the kingdom had. But here she was with him. The slim beauty gasped as she felt his fingers rubbing her hot snatch, teasing her tender flesh roughly. As his calloused fingers rubbed the soft skin of her joy-button, he nibbled and sucked at her throat. Reaching back, she began to tug on the big, fat piece of meat that was jutting up against her back.

Finn tugged her chin back towards him and kissed her thin lips. "Mmmm," sighed the statuesque ex-model. Now, as they swapped spit, she felt one of his thick, rough fingers sliding inside her snatch. Finn felt her squirming in his arms as he slid his finger in and out of her. She was already a little slippery there, and it didn't take long at all before he was sliding the fat digit in and out up to the second knuckle. Lollipop clawed at the wall. She clawed at the shower-curtain. Her fingers closed around his strong right arm and she left scratch marks around his wrist. Breaking that kiss, the slim woman shrieked as he sent her crashing over the edge.

Finn held onto her, stroking her hot body, leaving trails of liquid fire along her skin. Lollipop reached back and grabbed his fat dick, finding it was hard as an iron bar in her hand. That was the limit. Finn, who'd been pondering whether or not he should go on, shoved her up against the wall once more and jerked her skinny thighs apart. She felt the fat tip of his pecker pressing against her dripping snatch. "Oooaaaah," howled the sexy seamstress as she felt him drive that big dong into her snatch!

Finn continued to rub her button and toy with her perky boobies as he railed her good. The skinny girl found herself biting her fist to keep from screaming as she felt that big thing going ever deeper into her honeypot. She didn't want to wake the baby, but the feel of that huge thing was driving her ape. Horny out of his mind and drunk as a skunk, Finn wasn't gentle in the least. His hips smacked into her hard little bottom, making a loud slapping sound, and her pussy made nasty squelching noises as he reamed her out good. She thought she would have bruises from the way he had her pressed into the wall, but it felt so fucking good! Screaming, she let go, decorating the wall with a streamer of girl goo. Finn groaned at the feel of that. Horny as he was, he couldn't hold out, and he shot his goo into her.

The two very nearly fell out of the tub. As it was, Finn stumbled and had to catch himself. Lollipop wobbled there, feeling a little guilty but exultant at the same time. He was still Finn the Human, sexiest dude on Ooo. Steadying herself with the towel-rack, she stepped out of the tub and turned off the water. When Finn turned to head into the bedroom, she was quick to follow. That had been a lot of fun, and since they'd already sort of broken the rules, well, she didn't have much reason to go home _now_.

Back in Froyo Kingdom, Rick and AJ found themselves staring out the window at some very long odds. "I don't understand how they keep finding us," muttered AJ. "We changed cars. We moved at night. We did everything right. We even changed our clothes..." Glancing up, his eyes locked with the one thing that hadn't changed. Rick had insisted on buying an elaborate Froyo-Kingdom hat the minute they stepped off the train. It had been his constant companion since they'd arrived. Snatching the hat off Rick's head, AJ fished out the bug that had been hidden there all this time. Holding it up, he growled, "this is station R-I-C-K broadcasting to you live from atop Rick's hat!" A sheepish Rick tossed the hat on the couch as his little brother smashed the tracking device.

"We should make a break for it," the younger brother mumbled. They couldn't fight all these guys. If they tried, they'd just get squashed. They had to get away. They needed to get Sweet-P to safety and call for help. "Right," said Rick. "I'll slip out to the garage and start the car. Gimme five minutes. Then follow." AJ followed him to the door. The backyard was dark with just moonlight to see by. This was risky. "No," said AJ. "We've got a better chance together. I'll get Sweet-P."

Leaving his brother by the back door, the older of the pair went back into the man-boy's room. Sweet-P was sitting on the edge of the bed staring into space. He seemed almost catatonic, and when AJ called his name, he didn't respond. That was bad news. They didn't have time for this. AJ called out to the boy but got no answer. Thumps on the porch told him that time was getting shorter.

Taking a chance, he shook the strange boy. Sweet-P finally responded–with a look that sent chills down AJ's spine. Calmly–more calmly than he felt–AJ coaxingly told the boy, "hey, bud... We gotta' go. I'm'a take you to get some ice-cream..." " _Oh, boy_ , uncle AJ," howled Sweet-P! "Can we?!" AJ assured him that not only could they, they would–but only if he didn't disturb the neighbors.

Sweet-P did just as told as AJ led him to the rear door. Much to AJ's anger, Rick was gone–likely to the garage. "Damn him," muttered the detective. Sounds of the lock on the front door opening told the younger brother they were out of time. He popped the lock and threw the door wide. Grabbing Sweet-P's hand, he ran into the night. Rushing across the yard, he kept one hand firmly fastened on the mutant boy's hand. The other was in his jacket, wrapped around the handle of his dart-gun.

The run across the yard felt like eternity when he could see and hear figures in the area. AJ was faced with the dilemma of what to do when he reached the door. Drop Sweet-P's hand or his gun. In the end, he chose to let go the gun. He could pick it up again inside, and Rick would cover him. AJ jerked the door open and darted inside, dragging Sweet-P with him. Slamming the door, he rushed up to the side of the car, shouting at Rick, who sat behind the wheel. Pulling the door open, he was horrified to find his brother sitting there behind the wheel, his face looking like a thousand-year-old mummy. The stench from inside the car was ferocious, and AJ immediately turned and hurled up the contents of his stomach.

As he was recovering, he spotted the figure standing there in the garage near the open main door. The creature looked like nothing so much as a wood nymph that had been dipped in some kind of oozing, oily muck. The eyeless, _thing_ sort of oozed towards him, and the terrified Banana Guard jerked out his pistol. He leveled it at the creature and let fly. The darts, fired at close range, should have shredded his opponent, but they served to do little or nothing against the creature. Reaching out, the creature grabbed his arm by the wrist. AJ screamed as his hand instantly rotted and fell off his arm, taking his weapon with it. He continued to scream as the rot progressed up his arm to his chest.

As the dead man rotted away to nothing, the Dipped turned to its quarry, who now stood mindlessly staring into space. "Come," the creature whispered in its awful voice. Sweet-P fell in behind the muck-creature as the thing went out the main door, following it out into the night. There was some minor commotion on the street as residents responded to the shocking sounds of gunfire in their quiet neighborhood. The Guard got called out, but by the time they arrived, the unwelcome visitors were long gone, leaving only the dead in possession of the scene.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16:

"I'm going to suck all the red off you, if you don't give me what I want..."

Peppermint Butler was aghast. Marceline, the Vampire Queen, had him pinned against the wall with his feet dangling. "My services are not without cost, Your Highness," the manservant retorted. He'd been saying that for several minutes already, and Marceline was getting tired of hearing it. "Name it," she growled, "and if you say 'my flesh', it'll be the last thing you ever say..." Flushing, the butler muttered, "I said that so that Finn and Jake wouldn't come by asking for freebies all the time."

Testily, the Queen of Vampires dropped him and stepped back. "Alright," said Marcy, "get busy." With an irritated sigh, Peppermint Butler replied, "alright, alright, but only the first one's free..." Climbing back to his feet, the little manservant dusted himself off as he directed the hostile Royal to stare at the corner where two walls joined at the ceiling. Marceline did as bidden, focusing in on the point where all three surfaces met. She blinked her eye and suddenly found herself in a drab, grey wasteland.

"Holy shit," the vampire gasped. Turning left, then right, the Vampire Queen realized that the grey 'land' was actually made of _bone_. She was standing on a massive mound of bone a hundred feet high. All around her rose even higher mounds. "I guess this is the place," she murmured. Now all she had to do was find Death. _But where is he,_ she thought? No sooner had the thought crossed her mind than she felt a strange 'tug' on her psyche. Frowning, she focused on that pull and went floating off to follow it.

She passed skeletons wandering about, puttering around at nothing–stacking and restacking piles of bone, really. Others she found chatting about flesh and all the ways they would have enjoyed it. Unlike Finn and Jake's experiences here, few if any of them even noticed her. Of those, fewer still paid her any real heed, telling her the grim truth. It was all true. She really was Death's minion, and that sort of made this whole business very real and very unpleasant for her.

Drifting along, she reflected on that. She hadn't wanted any part of this. She would have been happy with her mortal life, living to a ripe old age, and passing on to whatever the afterlife held for her. Instead, she'd been cursed with immortality. She'd had to watch her friends die off one by one. She'd had to watch the last remnant of humanity fade away, and she'd spent just too damned much time alone. There were days she considered just hanging out until the sun came up and seeing what was next. Now she had a son anchoring her to this world, though. _You have to keep going,_ she decided. She'd made the double mistake of falling in love again and of bringing life into the world, and she had to manage the consequences.

Death's Castle wasn't hard to find. The vast, sprawling charnel house was lit up like a beacon in the darkness. Strange, sickly looking shrubs and trees decorated the grounds, and everywhere seemed to hold some memento of someone's improbable fate. As she went to float over the wall surrounding the garden, a sentry shouted out a challenge to her, demanding, "you there! Get down here this instant! The Master only sees visitors by invitation!" "He'll see me," growled Marceline! "I insist that you come down here," snarled the guard. Marcy grinned and flipped him off.

The Vampire Queen floated over the wall like she owned the place, dropping down inside and drifting lazily through the garden, searching for her quarry. Ironically, it was music that announced his presence to Marceline. The sound was muted, telling her it was coming from inside somewhere. Nodding to herself, the beautiful tragedy followed the strains of death-metal to a massive and ornate picture window that looked out on the strange, sickly garden that Death kept here.

He was inside, looking just as Finn described–a tall skeleton clad in a zoot-suit, wearing a fedora and all in shocking white. It was familiar and yet shockingly discordant. She would have expected a skeleton in a robe carrying a sickle or something. Of course, she was hardly what most people thought of when they heard the term 'vampire', so she guessed they were even on that score. The creature was staring at a transparent image floating above his desk. The figure looked familiar, but as she moved to get a better look, a small specter lazily drifted in, looking surprisingly familiar. Was that?

Inside the room, Peppermint Butler's soul strode up to the Master of the house and announced, "the Vampire Queen is here to see you, my Lord." "Yeah," said Death. "Open the window and tell her to go down to the garden and wait." "Certainly, Lord," said the specter. As Death banished the image of his inadvertent patsy, Peppermint Butler came over and opened the window. "Good evening, milady," said he. "The Master will see you in the garden. Please wait below."

Marceline frowned at the obnoxious little jerk-face and asked, "what're you doing here? I left you in Bonnie's place." With a sly smile, the specter replied, "you left my physical body, Your Highness. I keep my soul here so that my... _business associates_ can't find it." After all, what better place was there to hide one's soul than in Death's kingdom? Death was the one thing everyone tried to avoid, demons included. "Right," muttered Marceline. "Gardens." Turning away from the window, she swooped down into the gardens, finding a stone bench to sit on while she waited.

It took her host a while to show up. He kept her cooling her heels, coming down when he got good and ready. "Weeell...," he greeted her. "Your Highness. Come down slumming with ole' Death? Figured you didn't really have a use for talking to me..." Marceline frowned at him and asked, "what's with the getup?" Chuckling, the specter replied, "you were expecting something like _this_?" Before her eyes, a whirlwind engulfed the evil specter. When the blinding cloud was gone, she found herself facing the cliche she'd been expecting–a robed skeleton holding a scythe.

Chuckling, Death returned to his more modern form and said, "needed a change. Had a lot of young hoods come through on their way to your dad's place dressed like this." Mindful of Finn and Bonnie's warnings, Marceline moved on. The raven-haired beauty opened with, "you're hard to get in to talk to..." In tones that were both sinister and cheerful, he told his guest, "used to talk to you in your sleep... You remember? When your mom used to call out to you from beyond? When the specters of all the kids from your old school talked to you in your sleep?" Marceline's eyes went very wide, and a shiver of fear went through her. Those were some of her darkest dreams, springing from what she thought were some of her deepest fears.

It had never made sense. She was the sole survivor. Of all the kids at school. Of all the teachers. All the parents who'd been there the day the bombs fell. Of all those people, she was the sole survivor–the strange little girl that everybody feared and shunned. Winking, Death told her, "kept the peace with your dad, little girl. He wanted to make sure Daddy's Little Monster lived another day. Never figured you for the nasty ingrate you are..."

Marceline was on her feet now. That made all too much sense. Her father never wanted to talk about that time. He glossed over it. He dodged it. He avoided it like the plague. "Yeah, girly," said he. "You've kind of been a disappointment to him. You were part of his big plan. You were the anti-glob. You were going to submerge the world in darkness." The skeleton chuckled. "But I got there first, baby," he said. "Burned the world right out from under him. Boy was he pissed." He watched her. He watched that all sink in. Hunson would be a little irritated with him for letting the cat out of the bag, but the big blue dufus always forgave him. After all, who else did he have to play golf with?

"'Course he was _really_ fried when I got my hooks into you," Death said. Marceline's frown deepened. "Yeah, girly," he said, "your daddy never figured you'd turn hero on him! Then you went and killed my vampires. You were the one creature on Ooo with the power to kill my vampires, and you bagged 'em all. I had t'do _something_." He'd put it in the King's mind to try out a kiss on the nasty little customer who'd killed the Vampire Court. "Imagine my surprise, though," said Death, "when I couldn't control you either. You broke the Pact, girly. Shattered it right there."

Shaking off her shock, Marceline began to hit back, saying, "I didn't want any fucking thing to do with you or your pact! I'd have been just as happy being on my own without you or any of your crap!" "So why come down here now," asked Death? "I give ya what you wanted. I left you alone." "You put a curse on my son," growled Marceline! Death laughed at her. He laughed and laughed. Now he knew what this was about. He'd heard of her wretched little kid. He'd known all about her sneaky little plan to cheat her fate. "All vampires return to the source, babe," he said. "You're just caught up in limbo, girly. You're on a stepping stone–a small one–between life and death. Step forward? You die. It's just that quick. Only there ain't no stepping back."

Stubbornly, Marceline replied, "there has to be." Death shrugged. The rules were pretty specific and very straightforward. He'd written them himself. "There's always a loophole," insisted the Queen of Vampires. "Always something the rule-writer wanted when he wrote. What is it? What does it cost to free my son?" They were dickering now. That was just what he wanted. He'd gotten her on the hook. He had her ready to negotiate. Tit for tat. Quid-pro-quo. Coolly, he asked her, "what do _I_ get, girly? If I break all those rules, what do you have for me in return?"

Marceline found herself stopped in her tracks. She'd rushed into this with some vague idea that she could maybe _guilt_ this guy into giving her what she wanted. After all, she'd never _asked_ to be a vampire. She certainly didn't want to be _Queen_. It was clear though that Finn was right. Death was kind of a dick, and it hardly mattered to _him_ if she was inconvenienced by his curse.

As she wracked her brain for something to say, Death casually suggested, "you could go to work for me..." Marceline's eyes flicked up to his. "A few souls a year," he said. "Send me a few live ones, and I'll free your son." Marceline goggled at him. He was asking her to do something heinous! Seeing the look on her face–and the resistance it signified–Death said, "hey! I'll even let you choose 'em..." It was sooo tempting. She was so very tempted to agree just to have her son back as he was. She could hunt down the wicked. In a way, she'd be like Finn, punishing the great evils of the world.

There was just one problem. She knew better than anybody how difficult it was to walk the path she walked. She'd vowed never to touch blood–never to hurt anybody–and mostly she'd kept that promise. She'd hurt Bonnie once, and that had somewhat precipitated their first parting. Still, she'd kept her promise. She'd never drained anyone. She'd been constantly afraid of becoming just what she'd fought against. It would be very easy to lose herself–to take it a little further. When she'd killed all the big baddies in the world, then what? Start killing petty thieves on street-corners? When they were gone, where would she be? She'd still owe this prick souls, and if she once screwed up, they could be up to their armpits in vampires again.

Scowling, the Vampire Queen growled, "you're crazy!" He wasn't fazed at all. He'd more or less anticipated her reaction. With a shrug, the spirit replied, "it's business, babe. Just like your dad, I'm in business here. Technically, you're an employee. If not for my agreement with Hunson, you'd have checked out right there. You'd have gotten my vamps, but I'd have gotten your cute little soul."

Marceline turned to go. She was done with this. " _Fuck you_ ," she snarled. Death laughed. He laughed as if she'd told a really funny joke. "Not yet, sweets," said he. The awful embodiment of mortality snapped his fingers. Suddenly Marceline fell to the ground with a jarring thump. "Gotta' keep you around a while," he said. "You saw something you weren't supposed to see." A shiver of fear went through her as she wondered what that could be. Still, she rose up and charged him. She had little recourse. He'd said he was going to hold her against her will! Who knew how far he'd go, or what he planned to do to next?

As she got within arms length, the Vampire Queen found that all her strength faded to nothing. Knees quivering, she went down right there at his feet. Death waggled a finger at her. "You think you can turn my own power against me," he demanded? He could see real fear in her eyes. "I'm not gonna' _hurt_ you, Marcy," chuckled Mortality. "Hunson'd kill me..." Interrupting himself, he howled laughter at his own pun. "Just need you to sit tight for a few days, while I work through some stuff." Snapping his fingers, he summoned the guards to take her away.

Things were going nicely. He almost had one of his best tools back in action. He was on track to see several _problems_ get eliminated, and he hadn't needed to lift a finger. The week was going swell. And then, when he thought of getting another important tool back in the fight, he was really excited. He had a little time. He knew Hunson looked in on her from time to time when he wasn't busy toying with his own demons. While Hunson was distracted, he could put the screws to her, and maybe, just maybe, she'd agree to his terms. Only now that her freedom was on the line too, he planned to ask for much more than a few souls a year.

Morning in the Candy Kingdom found Finn waking to the consequences of getting nearly black-out drunk the night before. The big man awoke with a groan to the sound of the shower going. His head... _hurt_... His mouth tasted like battery acid and his throat felt like he'd been downing shots of razor blades straight. Honestly, he knew he'd drunk a lot because he really couldn't remember coming home, and he feared Simone and Emeraude would be pissed at him. He wasn't supposed to do this. Jake and TV did this kind of stuff. Even if he _was_ depressed, he shouldn't be doing dumb stuff like this.

The shower stopped, and Finn waited to face the music. He knew it couldn't have been more than a few minutes, but it felt like an eternity that he waited for whichever of his wives was home to come out and bitch him out for getting hammered. To his undieing shock, Lollipop came out of his bathroom wearing Simone's robe over her much-leaner frame. His jaw came unhinged as he suddenly remembered his surprise guest in the shower last night. Finn flushed to his hair as she came over and sat down. His problem had just gotten a lot worse.

Reaching out, she stroked his face and said, "so sad, my hero? What are those two fools doing to you?" Finn just stared. Smiling she said, "you're drinking too much, Finn... You need to think about that..." The understatement of the year when he'd just railed one of the neighbors. Guessing what he was thinking, she said, "I won't tell. They don't have to know." "Why," mumbled Finn? "Fantasy," replied Lollipop. Running a finger across his chest, she admitted, "I've thought you were sexy since you were twenty. It was funny, but I looked up one day and noticed you were actually _hot_."

Of course, he'd also been married. There had been little hope that Finn was going to go cheating on his wife. Oh, there was Emeraude, but everyone in the Candy Kingdom knew about the wish spell. If anything, that was all the more reason for him not to cheat. Lollipop had lived her life just as Finn had lived his these last eighteen years or so. And then a funny thing happened.

Simone and Emeraude just up and walked off one day.

"I guess they forgot they had a beautiful, hunky husband willing to do anything for them," said Lollipop with a smirk. Teasing his lips with her fingertip, she said, "here you were... all by yourself here... Even the kids left you behind... And there I was, with no boyfriend at the moment, helping to take care of your little boy. So I said, 'why not'." Leaning towards him, she admitted, "and boy was I glad I took the chance, tiger. You were fucking good last night–a regular animal."

Finn's blush came back, darker than before. He sort of knew that he was good at it. None of the girls he'd ever been with complained about it, but he honestly had never thought a lot about being hot in bed. It was something that kind of embarrassed him. Touching her forehead to his, the candy-girl whispered, "I was tempted to sneak out while you were asleep. I really thought I should just slip out, go home, and let you think it was all a dream." Finn blushed. He'd been so out of it, he would likely not have noticed.

Lollipop gave him a wicked smile and said, "but then I got to thinking about last night, and I got a little hungry for some more. So, I said fuck it... Why not? They ain't here to complain..." Standing up, she dropped the robe, saying, "I took a shower, but... well... why don't we get me dirty again. Then we can take a shower together." Finn didn't move. Honestly, he was terrified. From doing everything in his power to avoid ugly entanglements with other women, he'd gone off the deep end. He'd cheated with Bonnie. Willingly. He'd cheated with Marcy. Now he'd even cheated with Lollipop. Now, he tried to do everything in his power to resist the spell the pretty candy-person was trying to cast on him.

Lollipop had feared that this was a little too far. After all, he wasn't blind _drunk_ this time. At the same time, having come this far and banged Simone's hubby... Well, what was the point of pretending that they were honest? Leaning in, she got things started, pressing her thin lips against his and slipping her arms around his neck. Finn's willpower melted like ice in the summer sun. In moments, he was kissing her back enthusiastically. There was one thing in the way, though. He'd gotten hammered last night, and he was sure his breath was abominable. Drawing back in embarrassment, Finn said, "I'm surprised you even wanted to kiss me last night..." "Actually," she giggled. "I kinda' caught you, after you'd brushed your teeth..."

Grinning, she jumped on him again, shoving him back on his back on the bed. Finn's hands stroked her thin body. Savoring the taste of her lips, he murmured, "mmm... sour-apple..." The candy-person blinked in startlement. Then, as he ran his tongue along her cheek, she got it. It made her giggle. Honestly, she'd never tried tasting _herself_! "Mmm," moaned the sexpot, "do you like your sucker?" "Ch'yeah," said Finn!

The lithe, lean sexpot slid down his hard, bulky body. Slipping off the bed, she knelt there between his powerful thighs, eyeing the big sex-toy she'd had last night. Her eyes held hints of amusement as she teased the length with the tip of one finger. Finn sighed at the feel of that. The little minx slid that finger up and down his dong for several minutes, teasing him. Fortunately, he wasn't as horny as the previous night.

Moving on, Lollipop reached out with her dainty tongue and teased the tip of his pecker, tasting the little dribble of his stuff that decorated his knob. Salty and sweet, it was strangely intoxicating. As Finn watched, she began to run that teasing little tongue all over his little buddy. Lollipop could hear the changes in his breathing as he got more and more turned on. At the same time, she began to rub her pussy, sliding two thin fingers in and out of her slippery snatch. She'd been thinking about this the whole time she was in the shower. In spite of being a little sore, she hadn't really been able to help playing with herself as she stood at the scene of the crime and relived that moment.

Finn was now gritting his teeth and clenching his hands, so she quit toying with him. Climbing back up over him, she leaned down and kissed his rough, chapped lips. As they kissed, and his hands explored her body, Lollipop took hold of his big, bad dick, pressed it against her entry and eased down. Finn moaned as he felt her hot oven engulf him. He couldn't help grabbing a double-handful of her hard little ass. In spite of being skinny, Lollipop had a nice ass. The big man's powerful hands squeezed and kneaded the taut muscle of that little butt as slowly she began to ride his pole. Leaning back, the pretty girl threw back her head and moaned. Eyes closed, she lost herself in the feel of that big dong pistoning up her snatch over and over again.

The big man sat up, and he began to bounce her hot little body up and down in his lap, while he sucked and nibbled at her hard little boobies. "Ooaaah," howled the sexy seamstress. Grabbing his hair, she kissed him again, running her fingers through his long, blonde locks as their bodies collided in a frenzy. Strangely enough, the certain knowledge that he was cheating was part of the turn-on for Finn. He'd ducked Lollipop at Jake's stupid homecoming party all those years ago out of sheer terror at doing something wrong. That hadn't stopped his little buddy from wanting a piece of her though.

The rush of their climax came fast. Lollipop's hips were whipping back and forth in a frenzy. Finn had his big paws wrapped around her waist so tight he left ten broad stripes there. Screaming into his shoulder, Lollipop experienced a blinding orgasm that left her seeing sparks before her eyes. Moments later, Finn shot his bolt, sending a steaming fountain of goo into her hungry belly. Laying there against him panting with the exertion, the skinny girl puffed, "wow..." That had been even better than last night.

And then little Van began to cry. "Whoops," she chuckled, "gotta' go..." She swiftly climbed off him. Grabbing Simone's robe, she threw it on and rushed downstairs. Finn belatedly realized that her doing that was very dangerous. _But Star's at school,_ he thought. His daughter wouldn't be home for hours. Rising, Finn went and rushed through a quicky shower. Then he went downstairs to help with little Van, sending the babysitter to the shower to wash.

It was seven in the morning when they both finished. The sun was up, and the day was beautiful outside. Sitting in the dining nook with Lollipop sitting on his lap half-wearing a robe, while she cradled Van, Finn found himself enjoying the day. Bonnie was tied up in the lab, Marceline was being antisocial, and the girls were in Wizard City working on Simon's campaign. And, for once, Finn wasn't alone. He was genuinely happy. He knew better than to dwell too much on that. He was still married, and he had hopes that someday Simone and Emeraude would come home to him, but he couldn't deny he was having a pleasant morning. A guy could do far worse than having Lollipop's company.

Indeed, Lollipop felt much the same way. She had appointments to get to today, and honestly she should already have been gone and Van with her. Her business partners had papers for her to sign, and she was supposed to look at the layout for the new boutique in Breakfast Kingdom. She really felt like blowing it all off, though. They both did. As the pair contemplated ducking work, Finn's phone rang. The big man fished it out of a pocket, announcing, "go..." "Dad," replied Billy, "it's Billy. A big problem just came up..." Frowning, Finn said, "what is it?" Lollipop slipped off his lap and sat down beside him. As she fed Van, he dealt with the problem at hand.

"Sweet P's bodyguards haven't reported in," said Billy. That was very worrisome. Finn was on his feet and moving in short order. He got halfway to the stairs before realizing that he had to figure out what to do with Van. He had no idea when he would be back today. Putting his phone on mute, he turned to Lollipop, who said, "I'll take care of it. Get going..." Nodding, he turned the phone back on, saying, "where and when?" As she watched, he went down the stairs to the entry to get into his shoes. For a moment, she felt almost like a wife and mother, and she couldn't, for the life of her, understand why those two weren't _here_ with the man who so desperately needed them.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17:

Finn went tearing down the road towards town, lights on and siren blaring. He'd been afraid of something like this for ages. He'd been almost paranoid in the level of precautions he took for safeguarding Sweet-P. One of his earliest acts as Captain was to install alarms and defenses in Tree-Trunks' home. Those had been fun days, and he'd often gorged himself on apple pies. He'd had armed guards camped out not far from her home, and patrols that stopped by on a regular basis. Later on, he'd relaxed, but the risk of a rogue Sweet-P or some asshat trying to free the Lich was always there on his mind.

The hero skidded up to the palace to find Bill's truck already there. Slapping the gearshift into park, he jumped out of the truck and raced up the stairs. Blowing past Peppermint Butler, the big man rushed to Bonnie's office, finding her there with his son and daughter. Finn was a little startled by Star's presence, though he'd expected Billy to meet him here. The thing that gave him a double-take, though, was what Bonnie had chosen to come dressed in today. His old flame was full-on Princess today, but with a naughty spin. She was wearing a big, poofy ball-gown, but with a deeply scalloped back that went all the way to her butt. In front, a sexy cleavage cut plunged from her throat to her belly-button–a shockingly sexy look, that reminded Finn of the fact that she'd been pregnant with his kid twice. Bonnie beckoned him from across the room, and Finn stepped inside her office and shut the door.

Shaking off his shock, Finn crossed the room, asking, "what do we know?" Billy answered, "AJ was calling every three days, just like clockwork." Frowning, Finn said, "it was supposed to be twice daily. What happened?" With a sigh, Billy replied, "their phones didn't work in Froyo Kingdom, dad. Because they were from out of town, they were having trouble getting phones that worked in the kingdom. They were cut off. AJ was calling collect from a pay-phone near their digs..." An irritated Finn growled, "we should have pulled them!" Billy had been responsible for monitoring those two. He bore some of the blame for this. He'd let it blow by because he hadn't really wanted to have an extended discussion with his father. He'd feared having the conversation move into other areas, and he'd dropped the ball.

Mercifully his father moved on, asking, "how long? If they were calling every three days, they may have gone missing three days ago." Bonnie took up the thread then, telling Finn, "I did apprise Froyo Princess that two of my guards would be in her kingdom and why. I told her they were guarding a valuable person. She's somewhat been monitoring them. Not closely, but just enough to make sure there were no serious threats." Apparently the monitoring had failed. The two guards had disappeared two days ago, dropping out of sight for some reason. "So we know it's only two days," Finn rumbled. Whoever had Sweet-P now only had a couple-day head start. Problem was that they would be taking the train across the wastes to get there, which gave the other side another couple of days.

Bonnie asked, "when can you go?" "I'm goin' as soon as I can get my stuff packed," said Finn. Turning to his son, he said, "Billy can run things in my absence, Peebles..." "No," said the Princess. Decisively, she told her Champion, "you need backup, Finn. Whoever these people are, they're very dangerous if they have even an inkling of what Sweet-P carries. Billy's going with you. Star can take charge until you're back." The little woman blushed to her hair. That was unexpected. Her problems with Mr. Porker and the rest were about to get worse. Still, she said nothing. This was just as important as the rebellion, and her family needed her.

"Bill," said Bonnie, "please go and make travel arrangements and gather your equipment. Star, please go and make arrangements to take over management of the Banana Guards for the duration." The two younger Mertens turned and walked out, with Billy in terror of what the princess was going to say to his dad about Billy's handling of Sweet-P's protection. Right now, running the nightshift was all he really had left. His responsibilities were the only thing keeping him going.

Inside Bonnie's office, the princess told her Champion to shut the door. This was a private conversation. Finn went and shut the door. When he turned to face Bonnie once more, he found her blue eyes burning into his. He was embarrassed by his son's mistake. That was completely foolish. Squaring up, he strode forward to his boss, stopped in front of her, and said, "I-I'm sorry, Peebles. I don't know what he was thin..." Bonnie interrupted him by grabbing his face and delivering a scorching kiss.

Her sweet lips came close to burning him. Hot and feverish, they drove all thoughts of liches and kids and wives from his mind. Breaking that kiss, she lay her head against his. Sharing breath, she told him, "this is partly my fault, Finn. This was my idea. You did warn me of the risks, and I should have thought about the problems with the Banana Guard and the problems of communicating from another kingdom." Her hands stroked his broad shoulders and the hard muscle of his back. She could _feel_ the scars through his shirt, and she remembered catching a ration of shit from Drew Princess over that. A lot of those scars were _hers_. Each marked a place where he had given nearly everything to save her. "I love you, Finn," she breathed, as she climbed up on the desk. Drawing him towards her, she wrapped her long arms and legs around him and whispered, "I want you to remember what you have to look forward to at home."

Meanwhile, Billy was taking the twists and turns of the city streets on his way back to headquarters with his sister at his side. He should be filling her ears with all the stuff that needed doing while he was gone. There were piles of things that were on his plate. With a few notable examples, their troops were epicly incompetent, and it took all of Billy's not inconsiderable will to keep them toeing the line. Unfortunately he found himself paralyzed and unable to speak. He'd have a hard time avoiding conversation when it was just he and his dad on the long train ride to Froyo Kingdom.

"You should try to get phones as soon as you're there," Star announced. Billy's face snapped over to hers. His sister was staring straight ahead. "I can't send you help if I don't know you're in trouble," she said. "Ok," he agreed. "I-I'll work it with Froyo Princess's people..." Star grimly nodded. Turning back to the road, Billy said, "Steele's useful. He's pushy and overzealous, but you can count on him to deliver the goods. Brown's kind of a loser. He talks a lot, but a lot of its smoke. He can get stuff done, but you'll have to ride him."

With the ice broken, Billy had a string of such pronouncements to make. He did his best to prepare his sister for something that hadn't really been in anybody's head until that moment. Star had always been doing this just as a temporary thing to make a little cash. She'd made it clear that she didn't really want to be doing this permanently. Billy hardly blamed her. In the brief time he'd been doing it, he'd gotten an appreciation for how much of a drag it was having everybody and their dog depending on you, and he hardly understood how his dad continued to do it year after year.

Nodding as she digested what her big brother was saying, Star said, "this will put the brakes on pretty much all my investigating." Glumly Billy nodded. Star's work had been helping them keep a lid on the gangs. They had no depth there. Of course Spike had been screwing them for years so the loss was even more acute. Star had brought them real stuff instead of Spike's lies and half-truths. _Don't have a choice,_ he reminded himself. His dad couldn't go hunt down the missing Lich alone. Bill dropped Star at headquarters before heading back to his place to pick up some clothes and gear for the trip.

He hadn't really cleaned the place up since the titanic fight where he'd been forced to kill his beloved wife. He'd packed her stuff away. He'd put that in a corner and walled it off just so he wouldn't have to see it and deal with the painful memories it brought. Other than that, nothing had changed. Now, as he stood in the middle of the apartment, with his bag over his shoulder, he felt the pain of memory all the more acutely. This was the first he'd ever been away from the treehouse. He hadn't gone back simply because it would have felt like he was going back to being a kid again. Now he was forced to leave here, and he feared how he would feel when he came back. He knew the place would still be here. The rent was paid up for three months. He wasn't sure how he would feel walking back into it after a long absence. But he had to go. His father needed him. The world needed him. Rushing down to the train station, he booked passage for he and his father on the earliest train that had an opening. Then it was time to wait for his father to show up.

The man himself blew into the train station with Princess Bubblegum and her entourage. The pair came sweeping down through the train station's massive gallery with half a dozen guards in attendance. The Princess was bending his dad's ear, and Billy felt another shiver of fear at the sight as he worried over what had gotten said when he and Star left the palace. As they approached, he got a little bit of the conversation, and that went some way towards calming him because apparently Bonnie had her eyes more on tomorrow than yesterday.

"I've apprised Froyo Princess that you're coming," said Bonnie as she walked beside Finn. Finn nodded absently. She was doing it again. It was just as she'd said. Bonnie had problems being a girlfriend. She had problems figuring out what she wanted. There were moments where she was immersed–absolutely _obsessed_ –with her work in the laboratory or her position as leader of the Candy Kingdom. Then there were moments like today when she was clearly doing her best to remind him of the fact that she was, nominally, his girlfriend.

After that crazy moment in her office, she'd shown up at his home to collect him in her limo and proceeded to spend the whole trip to the train station sitting in his lap. Bonnie had made it very clear that she didn't want things changing between them during the _private_ conversations they'd had in her office and in the limousine. As if that wasn't enough, he had Marceline to contend with too. Like her best friend, the vampire was sending him confusing signals that had him struggling to figure out what to do. He hadn't seen her in days, and her phone had gone to voice mail when he tried to call her to let her know he was going. After making her play and making him feel guilty for friend-zoning her, she was ignoring him again. When you threw in Lollipop girl, who'd jumped him when he got home, he'd made kind of a mess of his life.

Things were worse now than at any point when he was chasing down aliens with E. He'd gone on kind of a bender, and he didn't know where to go from here. Only one thing was certain.

The girls were going to kill him.

A corner of his mind–one he kept firmly pushed down–insisted that eventually this was all going to come out. He knew it was all going to come out in the end. The girls would find out about his... _antics_. There would be all sorts of unpleasant fireworks. He'd be thrown out of the house, and he'd end up on the couch in his office. It was just a matter of time.

But when he thought of the frantic goodbye-sex he'd gotten from both Bonnie and Lollipop, somehow it was worth it. It was like all the times he'd had to go away when Simone and Emeraude gave a damn about him. They would fuck him half to death before sending him out to go slay the dragon. Then, when he got home, they would finish the job. He felt... _wanted_. Shaking himself, he told Bonnie, "I'll report in as soon as we get settled in Froyo Kingdom..."

Taking his face in her hands, Bonnie kissed his cheek, saying, "be careful, Finn. This situation's very dangerous." It was as close as he thought she could come considering all the eyes watching them. She didn't know about Marceline or Lollipop. Nor did she want Billy to suspect that she was having an affair with his father. Part of Finn wondered how she would have reacted if she knew that there was a second and even a third _mistress_. Of course he had a ready answer for that. If he had any balls left after Simone and Emeraude got done with him, she'd cut them off. "I will, Peebles," he told her. Shouldering his bag, he headed off to join his son.

The two men boarded the train and settled themselves in a private compartment near the locomotive. Finn sat at the window, staring out at his boss/girlfriend as the train lurched into motion. He would remember the way she looked–and the smile she gave him–until his dieing day. _Yeah,_ he thought. _I'm in trouble._ He was deep in it, and part of him didn't really want to climb out of it again.

Turning away from the window, he found his son studiously avoiding looking at him. That was going to make for a long two days if Billy was going to keep that up the whole way. Softly, he said, "I understand if you don't want to talk to me, Bill. I... can't make you talk. I wish you'd open up, but I understand if you can't..." The younger man glanced up into his dad's face, feeling his own go warm. He'd been kind of a dick about this, and he knew it. He'd wanted to blame his dad. He'd wanted to punish _somebody_ for what had happened. He wanted to take all the lies that had gotten told and dropped them on his father's lap and blame _him_ for the whole thing. That wasn't fair, though. His dad had been protecting him. Knowing what JJ had been up to the whole time and having firsthand knowledge of what she was capable of, he knew that was as stupid as blaming himself.

With a heavy sigh, Billy said, "it's... Dad, it's not... I'm having trouble understanding... Dad, I don't understand any of this. I... I don't understand why she did this, and I don't understand why I still love her anyway." He'd been playing that awful conversation over and over in his mind for months now, and he still couldn't get his arms around it. Glancing up, he found his dad's intense blue eyes burning into his, and that did little to help him with his problem. He thought of clamming up again, but shortly Finn said something so profound that it left him staring in shock. "Bill," said Finn, "have you ever considered that you think too much."

As his son sat there staring in shock, the older man said, "I'm not good with that, son. I've never been good at thinking on that level. I... just kind of go with the simple stuff. What I've found over the years is that a lot of stuff we try to make complicated is dead simple when you get right down to it. The answer is right there in front of us, and we overthink the problem, trying to make it fit what we _want_." Billy could only stare as the big man laid out something that shocked him to his shoes.

"Sometimes...," murmured Finn. "Sometimes you love somebody so much that you're willing to let them go for their own sake." Leaning forward, he told his son something he'd never told any of his kids. "I was going to kill your mom, Billy," said Finn. William Simon Mertens came half out of his seat–and bumped his head against the baggage rack above him. Leaning back in his chair, Finn waited for his son to recover from the pain of knocking his head on the hard wood.

"She was losing it," said Finn. "The Crown was terrorizing her all the time. It... _hurt_ her, Bill." Which Billy knew. He just had no idea what _hurt_ actually meant. Now he began to suspect that the simple little word that his parents had always used to describe what the Ice Tiara had done to Simone Mertens paled in comparison to the reality. "You were going to end her suffering," Billy burbled. Face gone pale, Finn nodded. His eyes suggested he was reliving those moments.

Softly, Billy said, "she told me she had a monster inside her, dad." His voice was choked with tears. "She said she didn't have a choice," the young man babbled. "She had tried. She tried to do the right thing, but she failed." Finn nodded. "I got lucky, Bill," he said. He'd always said that, but Billy had never known what that meant. "Sometimes...," he rumbled. "Sometimes there's nothing we can do for the ones we love. We do our best to help them, but they have to live their lives the best they can. I... had to let you go and get married to Junior. I wasn't happy about it, but I had to let you go through with it because I can't live your life for you. Sometimes all you can do is just offer your support and pray to glob that's enough. And sometimes all you're left with is the memories."

Finn waited and watched that sink in. He knew what his son was thinking. It was there in his eyes, and it was a feeling Finn had experienced firsthand the day he'd come home to find the Ice-Tiara in possession of Simone's body and a lunatic holding his son. Billy whispered, "I'm always going to miss her, dad..." "And nobody wants you to forget," Finn replied. "We just don't want you to forget the rest of us." Standing up, he reached out and hugged his son, saying with that one gesture all he'd wanted to say for the last year and more. "Thanks, dad," sniffled Billy. "Thanks. That helps."


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18:

Froyo Princess had sent her carriage down to collect Finn and Billy at the train station, and her Captain of the Guard was waiting on them the minute they got off the train. Hoping to pick up the trail as quickly as possible, Finn had insisted on coming straight over to the house that Rick and AJ had been renting in the capitol. Unfortunately, it appeared to be a wasted trip. There wasn't much to see at the scene of Sweet-P's disappearance. The house was barely touched, which told Finn that this wasn't a robbery–though he'd had little doubt on that front. Unfortunately, it also told him that the guys who'd nabbed the Lich's prison were pros. They hadn't left a trace for him to work with. He was going to have to solve this the hard way.

Squatting beside the car, Finn poked the pile of moldering filth that lay there. His mind went back to something E had said during her belated confession. His mother-in-law had reduced several members of the Grey Forest's police to piles of filth using some sort of death-magic. The pile of filth next to the car was exactly the size and shape of a Banana Guard. With Rick laying in a quarantine box in the morgue, this could only be AJ. Somehow Marjolaine–or a friend of hers–was here in Froyo Kingdom making trouble.

"Whaddya think, dad," Billy asked? He was a relative novice when it came to magic. He had no idea what had caused this. "Not sure," Finn admitted. The big man squatted there a few more minutes, staring at what had been one of their top detectives. Rising, he dropped the stick and said, "want you to follow their trail. Backtrack and see what you can find out about where they've been and why they were moving around so much." With a nod of acknowledgment, Billy got on his way.

Finn rose and went back up to the front of the house. Froyo Princess's Captain of the Guard was there waiting on him. He looked a little irritated, and Finn honestly knew why. They were trespassing. Rick and AJ had been here without his consent, doing who knew what. On top of that, now he had the Captain of the Guard from the Candy Kingdom on his turf snooping around after them. If all that wasn't enough, there were the other things.

Finn had a past with Froyo Princess. They'd dated for all of two weeks when he was down an arm and feeling really sorry for himself. Jake's suggestions that he was covering for his relationship drama with PB and Phoebes had done a lot to break them up. And when that wasn't a problem, there was the rather obvious problem he was having with his dad and the whole Crystal Prison _thing_. They'd never really had a chance to get to know each other.

But Ragnhild never forgot.

Freshly divorced after being married for the last nine years, the princess of the Frozen Yogurt Kingdom was flirty and friendly just as she was all those years ago. And Captain Wulf? Well, he clearly had a thing for the pretty princess, just as Finn had for Bonnie. Finn was doing his best to put distance between them, and he'd tried to make it clear to Wulf that there was no 'there' there. He was married. Twice. And he had three big problems to deal with already–if you didn't count Cherry, who was still 'out there' somewhere.

There were moments he wanted to see her face–basically to know she was alright. Other moments, he was very afraid of what she would do the minute she saw him. She was a very vengeful little miss. The thing that kept him up nights, though, was the fact that she so clearly saw Simone and E as being 'in the way'. His wives were problems to be removed from the picture. So, no, he didn't want more complications with Ragnhild.

"Hey," said Finn, as he walked up to the big man. "And," demanded the angry guard-captain? With a sigh, Finn said, "my wife saw something similar, but I still have no idea who or what caused this. I only know that they're bad dudes. We... We should get back and start thinking our way through this." Wulf scowled at him, and Finn knew what he was thinking. The more Finn was in Ragnhild's presence 'chatting', the more infatuated she became. As the pair walked back to the ornate Royal Carriage, Finn said, "I'm not here to horn in, man. I'm... I got married." Of course Wulf had a ready answer for that if he chose to use it. Ragnhild had been married too.

The two men said little as they rode back through the busy streets towards the palace. The Frozen Yogurt people were heading towards their version of 'summer'–the long, cool fall, stretching into the winter. They didn't like the warm weather very much, and most folk stayed indoors as best they could this time of year. Just now, everyone was getting ready for the pleasant weather, and the streets were filled with cheer. Finn was hardly cheerful, though. He was in trouble, and, for the moment, his feeble brain was clear enough to recognize it. The girls were going to kill him, and there was very little he could do about it.

Froyo Princess met them in her solar. The beautiful princess had a coterie of functionaries and assorted other folk around her as she padded about, dictating memos and listening to reports. It was a scene very reminiscent of Bonnie when there were momentous events happening around her. Often times, Finn had been one of those people following Bonnie from place to place in her castle, listening to her decisions. She amazed him when she did that–juggling a dozen different problems at once, managing them all skillfully. It was part of why he loved her.

Ragnhild stopped in mid-stride as she caught sight of the two soldiers at her door. Turning to her vizier and the rest, she told them, "go and wait in the meeting room. I want to hear this. Alone." She had some idea just how dangerous things were, and she was doing her best to keep word from getting out. It was hard, though, when Finn was quite possibly the most famous person on the face of Ooo. What did it say when he was up here poking around in their territory? As Finn and Wulf watched, the group of advisors left en-masse, heading through an ornate door in the north side of the room.

When they had gone, Ragnhild came striding across the room towards them. Her expression was warm and inviting. She'd come dressed in a poofy formal gown like Bonnie so often wore, and flashes of white at her feet suggested she might be wearing stockings like Bonnie did. Finn flushed. She'd pried that out of him after an intense make-out session behind the treehouse. He'd admitted to liking old-fashioned clothes like that.

"What did you learn," she asked? Wulf replied, "he could tell you more, Your Highness." He sounded irritated. Finn thought he well knew why his mistress had come dressed that way. Moving on, Finn explained, "it's old magic, Princess. I know someone who might understand it, but I'd have to go talk to him. Right now, my son's tryin' to track Rick and AJ's movements. If we track them back to when they first got here, we maybe might figure out who our baddies are..." "Hmm," murmured Froyo Princess. "Perhaps I can help..."

As the two men watched, she went to her desk, keyed the intercom, and said, "send my advisor in..." Momentarily the door across the room opened to reveal a shocking sight. Finn stared in shock as his evil girlfriend strode through the door. She was _exactly_ as he remembered. Petite and shapely all at once, with plump, perky boobies, long, pale hair, and a beautiful face, Cherry Cream Soda sashayed across the room, her hips wig-wagging with every step.

He remembered every inch of that beautiful body. He'd covered it in kisses once upon a time. Honestly he'd jerked off thinking about her once or twice when he was feeling particularly rejected. She was smiling archly as she came up alongside the tall princess. "What're _you_ doing here," growled Finn? "Well, _hello_ , Finn," husked the dreamy gangster girl. Finn flushed. Startled by the by-play, the Princess asked, "you know my advisor?" "Yeah," said Finn. "We've met." He didn't know what she was doing here or what her game was, but he didn't dare attack her or say anything about what he knew about her. Yet.

Moving on, Ragnhild turned to her 'advisor' and said, "Finn's trying to find out what happened to the murdered guards and their missing charge. Can you help?" Nodding thoughtfully, Cherry replied, "perhaps. It would be helpful to know who the missing person is." "Why," muttered Finn? In teasing tones, Cherry replied, "why because it might explain the reason he–or she–was taken..." Finn had some idea what she meant by that. Face showing his irritation, Finn said, "no deal..." Coolly, Cherry replied, "alright, Finn. We'll do this your way, but I hope you know what you're doing."

Turning to the princess, she announced, "consider me to be handling this, Your Highness." "Thank you," Ragnhild replied. To Finn, she said, "we'll speak at supper..." Finn knew he was being dismissed. Thanking the princess for her help, he turned and got on his way. As Finn headed out the door, Cherry fell in at his side, and for a short time, the pair walked in silence. Finn's mind was in turmoil. Part of him wanted to warn his old flame about the danger she was now in. He knew he should get to a phone and call Bonnie to let her know where her mortal enemy was.

And he wanted to take this evil creature in his arms and hold her–to know that she was well.

"So this is where you ran to," rumbled Finn. "If you like," chuckled Cherry. "The Princess needed an advisor, and I needed... Well, you know." She needed protection because Bonnie wanted to smash her. "The nurse lived," muttered Finn. Solemnly, Cherry apologized. "I was drugged," she said, "the men who came for me panicked. I didn't find out about the nurse until I was awake in Warrior Kingdom."

Finn's head snapped around, and he found his evil girlfriend smirking. "Yes, honey," she said. "Ironically you built me a refuge. After I eliminated the opposition, I had time to recover my strength." Finn's expression was one of utter horror. Cherry sighed heavily. Stopping him in the hallway, the little woman turned him to face her and said, "I need you to understand that this isn't personal, Finn. It's purely survival. I want to live. I want to see our son someday." Moving on, Finn said, "I need to find out who took out my dudes." Smirking, the gangster said, "I think we can manage that. Come along, honey..." She set out at a brisk pace, and she put extra jiggle in that butt just for his benefit.

His evil girlfriend led him out to a carriage every bit as ornate and richly appointed as Princess Ragnhild's. Once settled inside, she called out to her rather familiar driver to get the coach moving. Finn muttered curses. He hadn't even thought of following her chauffeur. Cherry chuckled. Said she, "the folk of Froyo Kingdom are a simple people, Finn. They don't have a lot of scientists and mechanics. Much of their machinery is made in Bonnibel's Kingdom. They tend to like the finance side of things."

"Gee," muttered Finn, "you fit right in..." "I know you're angry, honey," she replied, "but try to focus, ok?" Finn blushed to his hair. She sounded like Simone when he'd gone on a tear. He guessed it was a woman thing. With a heavy sigh, he agreed, "truce..." Smiling again, Cherry told him, "most things are for sale here if you have enough cash. They're polite, and they're quiet, and they'll sell you most anything you want to buy." Nodding, Finn said, "somebody sold out my dudes. Can we find out who?" Cherry said, "one of my business partners should be able to tell me."

Cherry brought him down through Froyo Princess's beautiful capitol to a seedy street in the middle of a run-down neighborhood. The difference was jarring. One moment they were surrounded by well-kept buildings done in a brilliant whitewash. The next, they were surrounded by darker structures that looked a little run down. Bright, gaudy signs advertised coffee and tea shops, but Finn had the unsettling feeling that those shops didn't sell the coffee and tea he was familiar with. And if that wasn't enough, there were ho's literally dancing in the windows of some of those places.

"Legal here," said Cherry, "provided they obey the regulations and pay income tax..." She smirked at him. Giving his hand a playful squeeze, she said, "Ragnhild's more intelligent and sophisticated than Bonnie in a lot of ways, Finn. She sees the value in having control over the vice here." Gang violence was rare, and the Princess kept a member of the underworld at court to represent her and mediate disputes. It was a cabinet position, with power, a little prestige, and surprising authority. Finn's face whipped around again as he suddenly realized just who held that position.

Cherry was staring out the window, but she was smiling more than faintly. The chauffeur announced, "Brevik's!" Releasing his hand, she said, "time to go to work, honey. Follow my play, ok? These people are civil but not toothless..." Finn promised he would as they climbed from the carriage. Loosening his sword a little–there were some rough faces there on the street–the big man squared up and followed that wiggling butt up the stairs and into the 'café' before them.

Meanwhile far to the south and east, Patrick Petrikov stood over a small table hocking a chunk of metal and electronics that had been a piece of a techno-golem Fionna had smashed months ago. It was tough going. People here in this isolated mountain village had been cut off for centuries, and they had little or no knowledge of such things. Fi had hoped to hold onto a lot of their stuff until they reached Wiz-City or some other land where they could lighten some big-spender's load. Patrick had made the decision to unload the stuff right here to lighten their own load.

Fionna was in little condition to complain. She slept more than she was awake, and she was often delirious. Her condition had him cursing glob and himself both. He didn't know what was wrong with her. He'd tried breaking her bond with the sword, but his work was too perfect. Now, he feared it would suck the life from her. He wanted them out of the mountains. They needed to be able to move faster. The trailer had to go.

Knowing she'd be ready to fight over it–and knowing they needed the cash–he'd unloaded most of their stuff. Now he was down to the last bits and baubles and having trouble finishing up. Nobody here had wizard powers. They had no use for the golem parts. _Get it sold or get rid of it,_ the wizard told himself. There was no time to wait around for another wizard to come strolling through town. He had made enough that he could appease his girlfriend. The trailer was staying here.

The man across the table gave him a suspicious look. "You want how much," he asked? He was the first guy to come by with real interest and an appearance suggesting he had cash. "Only eight-hundred coins," Patrick smoothly replied. That would pay their stay at the inn tonight and buy provisions for the road in the morning. The local frowned down at the piece. "What does it do," he asked? With a shrug, Patrick replied, "for you? It's just a clock. If you found a wizard like me, he could build a gnarly defense-golem..."

The man seemed to consider that for several minutes. Patrick waited patiently. This was their best chance yet. "Well," said the gentleman, "since you've so graciously offered your services, I guess you can build me a golem." With a frown, Patrick replied, "I beg your pardon?" Waving his hands airily, the humanoid replied, "you've sold goods in Prince Bertoli's domain without license, and you've paid no tax on the proceeds. I can arrest you on the spot and confiscate all your worldly goods, including the woman..." With an evil twinkle in his eye, the humanoid said, "I'm sure she'd be worth money, even strung out on dope like that."

Patrick saw red just then. "Do you know who I am," he growled? "Nope," retorted the prince's flunky. "Should I?" Pat chuckled, "I'm the Ice Prince. Son of the Ice King..." When he'd complained once about Fionna being so famous, she'd suggested that he bill himself that way. He'd laughed at the time, but now he put his father's awful reputation to good use. Every being on Ooo knew who the Ice King was. Cantankerous and crazy, the Ice King would freeze you to death for a chance word if he was in a bad mood.

As Patrick spoke, the air around them–already a little chilly–grew suddenly colder by a precipitous forty degrees F. "The _woman_ , as you put it, is my wife," growled the angry wizard. By now ice was starting to form under the fat man's feet. At the terrified noble's shout, three men came tearing up the street. They ran straight into a wall of ice. Said wall wrapped itself around the trio, closing in on them and freezing them solid. "I'm tempted to visit Prince Bertoli," rumbled Patrick. "My wife and I need a place to stay the night..." "Uh... yeah," said the humanoid. "Y-you can go... Uh... Th-the Prince didn't realize you were a Royal..." "You'll pay for the insults," growled Patrick. His eyes were glowing a brilliant blue-white now. "H-how much," stammered the terrified functionary? "Eight-hundred coins," growled Patrick. He wasn't greedy. He just wanted his money.

In short order, the fat functionary was gone. Patrick stood there a few moments counting the coins in his hand. His eyes glanced up at the keep on the hill, and he wondered if this _prince_ would be stupid enough to come and fuck with them some more. _I'll drive on,_ he thought. Fi didn't need to be in a fight, and the truck had plenty of fuel. With the trailer out of the way, they would have an easier time of it getting up and over the mountains. Moving to the cab of the truck, he tossed the little table into the back, popped open the door, and looked in on his beloved.

Fi was curled up on their bed, wrapped up in their blankets, sleeping. When the door opened, her eyes cracked open a bit. "Pat," she burbled. "I'm here, baby," he murmured. Smiling down at her, he said, "I got all the stuff sold, honey. We can get going now." "O-ok," she burbled. Brushing hair out of her face, he said, "s'ok, baby. You can sleep if you want. I'm'a get us out of here. Just got to get the trailer unhitched." Fionna nodded. Laying her head back down, she went back to sleep. Patrick stuffed the bag of coins under the bed and shut the door, locking it after him. Then he went back and unhitched the trailer. It was a bit of a struggle without Fi, but he got it done. Then, after buying a little dinner, he got them on the road again well before dark.

Later that same night in Froyo Kingdom, Finn found himself headed to his room after a very interesting evening. He'd been a little disturbed by the idea of a 'cafe' that sold psychedelic chocolate and Fruit Witch venom. After getting past the shock, he'd found that Cherry's contact, Mr. Brevik, had a lot to say. The two guards had picked up tails the minute they stepped off the train. The watchers had been there the whole time, and he'd heard rumors that there may have been a recording device involved. Whoever was involved in it was a high-powered outsider with the cash to get his way. Brevik had given them a list of people and places to check. People with that kind of money in Froyo Kingdom weren't rare, but foreigners were. Promising to meet Billy and Ragnhild bright and early, Finn had headed for his room to get some much-needed sleep.

Settling his sword in the rack at the entry, the big man locked the door and headed for the bedroom. He planned on having a nice, hot shower before turning in. Walking into the bedroom, Finn was appalled but hardly surprised to find Cherry laying in his bed when he stepped into the semi-darkened space. The room was lit by candles like the night she'd served him dinner in the naughty maid outfit. She was dressed in a sexy white number like the first time, and she lay propped up on the bed wearing a seductive smile. As Finn approached, she said, "hey, handsome. I missed you." His eyes burned into hers suggesting that he hadn't missed her.

Stopping in front of the bed, he stared down at her and asked, "what do you want?" "Oh, I think you know," chuckled the evil piece of candy. "I'm married," retorted Finn. Smirking, she answered that with, "didn't stop you before." Finn could feel his face burning. He opened his mouth, and she beat him to the punch, asking, "or are you going to tell me those words meant nothing, Finny?" The hero glanced away. She had him, and they both knew it.

Sitting up, she said, "why don't we just take this off?" She unbuttoned the front of his jacket. "My son's here," said he. He and Bill were finally speaking again after months of anger. He didn't want to wreck that. At the same time, he knew he was making a rather lame protest. His son wasn't exactly sitting in the next room listening. The palace's major-domo had put him on the far end of the hall, and they both knew it. Cherry knew it because she'd cashed in a couple of favors to insure it happened. "Your son's busy," she said with a smirk. Alarmed, Finn stepped back.

Cherry slipped a hand down the front of her panties as she explained, "he's going to have a visitor tonight. She's pretty. I picked her myself." Finn's mouth came open. "Oh, nothing like that, Finny," she breathed. "I figured if your sweet little boy's busy having fun, he won't be complaining about us... How about that?" His blush deepened. At the same time, his eyes fell on the hand she had down in her crotch. With a sigh, the slutty villainess rubbed her gash before his eyes and caressed her plump knobs. "Mmmm," she said, "just think of him splitting some unsuspecting yogurt-person... Little bitch won't know what hit her." Grinning, she said, "better than having him killed, yes?" His face went white as he realized that his fears were utterly true. She already had a lot of power here.

Angry about his past with this woman and angry about the fear he felt, he grabbed her head and shoved her back on the bed. Grabbing her hair, he held her face in front of his. "If you even think about hurting him," he hissed. "Oh, yes, baby," she sighed. "Show me that anger. Show me..." Her toe teased at his calf. "Is he like you," she teased? "Is this some kind of game," he demanded? That hand never stopped moving, and he was shocked to realize he was turning her on. A part of him wondered what kind of sick bitch got turned on by being roughed up. Another part of him was a little turned on too.

Finn grabbed the waistband of those soggy panties and tore them off. Tossing them in the corner, he grabbed her wrists and shoved them up over her head. " _Slut_ ," he hissed! "Yeah, baby," whined Cherry. "I'm _your_ slut. Nobody elses..." Holding her wrists overhead with one hand, Finn grabbed her hair and pulled her face to his. Shoving his tongue in her mouth, he made her prove that.

The nasty little bitch responded by wrapping those lean, sexy legs around him, dry-humping him. "Give it to me," she breathed. "Bust that pussy open..." Instead, Finn pulled back. He knelt down there at the edge of the bed, and stuffed two fingers into her steamy gash. "Aaaaggh," wailed Cherry, as her hips jumped. He continued to slide those fingers in and out of her, as her head thrashed, and her hips rocked and shuddered. Biting her lips, she whined and moaned, as hot girl-goo dribbled out of her.

Just like always, it came thick and fast. Her juice was tart and tangy–sort of like soda-pop. He'd tasted her on more than one occasion. The hero stuffed his tongue into her mouth, tasting her. She began to really scream as his fingers went faster and faster. Her eyes fluttered as she went over the edge, flooding the edge of the bed in her hot spend. Finn pulled his soggy fingers out of her and held them over her face. "Lick them," growled the hero. Cherry did just that. She was a kinky bitch. She'd been that way from the start. The slutty villainess licked his fingers clean of her own juices. When she was done, Finn grabbed her slim hips and flipped her over on her belly.

Immediately Cherry's hot little ass began to wriggle around. "Are you going to fuck me in the ass, baby," she moaned? She'd taught him that. He had been shocked to learn how much she liked it–and how much _he_ liked it. Shedding his pants, Finn climbed up on the bed. Grabbing her slim hips, he pulled that hot little ass up to him. Closing her eyes and biting her lips, Cherry spread her legs wide apart and pressed her face down into the sheets. Finn pressed the fat knob of his cock against her hot pussy. "Oooaaah," howled the little nymphomaniac as he drove his meat into her. She was so wet and so relaxed that his fat log slid in deep in just one thrust.

And then he was fucking her.

He hit that hot little ass hard, his hips slapping into the firm globes hard enough to make her flesh jiggle. Cherry thrashed and wailed beneath him. Her hips wriggled from side to side, and he could _feel_ her orgasm. Mouth hanging open, Cherry moaned, "uh, uh, uh, uh...," as Finn continued to hit that hard little ass of hers. Popping the catch on her lacy white bra, Finn reached underneath her and jerked the bra off those plump little knobs of hers. Those were _his_ titties. She'd gotten them for _him_. Now he squeezed and kneaded those knockers, causing mommy-milk to drool out of them.

His right hand slipped down along her belly–former home of his son. He loved his little boy. Everybody did. Cherry shuddered in memory. They'd had a lot of fun making their little boy, and in spite of the terror of the pregnancy part of her would have done it again. When he began to rub her button, pressing it against his fat dick, Cherry went screaming over the edge. Feeling her climax, Finn lost it too. With his knob pressed deep inside, he shot off what seemed like a year of his goo. Drawing his softening pecker out of her, he flopped down beside his evil girlfriend. Almost immediately Cherry threw herself on him, pressing her hungry lips against his and kissing him as she rubbed her body against his.

It was just as nice as before. The feel of his powerful arms around her, the soft caresses, all contributed to a feeling of euphoria. The magic was still there, even if she _was_ under a death sentence and he her mortal enemy. "How's our son doing," asked Cherry? "He's fine," sighed Finn. "He's talking." She could almost _hear_ the frown in his voice as he asked, "why are you doing this?" With a dry chuckle, she replied, "this _is_ personal, Finn." Rolling over, she lay her head on his chest and said, "I'm still in love with you. We make such _beautiful_ music together."

"You know what I'd have to do if you ever came back," he muttered. He sounded delightfully _conflicted_. That made her enjoy the moment all the more. Mocking his deep, heroic voice, she replied, "I guess I have to not give you a reason to do that." Startled, he laughed in spite of everything. Amused herself, Cherry snuggled in against him. With a sigh of resignation, Finn wrapped his arm around her.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19:

The voice sounded as though it were coming from a thousand miles away. Star groaned as she swam up through what seemed like an ocean of darkness. Awaking with a gasp, she realized that the voice she'd heard was Lollipop shouting at her to answer her glob-damned phone. It had only been a few days since her dad and brother got on the train, but she was already feeling the strain. Mr. Porker and his pals had lowered the boom on her, loading her down with term papers and homework assignments mean to break her. With her dad gone, there was nobody to fight with them. She was on her own.

On top of that, she was riding herd on the pack of useful idiots in the Banana Guard, doing her best to make sure they continued to perform as well as they always had–poorly. Just now, they were showing signs of edging towards _awful_. They weren't afraid of her the way they were afraid of her dad and Billy. She'd been thinking about ways to _fix_ the problem, but the truth was that she didn't want to be their boss. She was edging further and further towards getting sucked into this permanently, which wasn't a good spot to be in.

Scrambling out of bed, she crossed the room to the dresser where she kept her phone. Plucking it off the charger, she found that there was already a missed message from her subordinates. Pressing play on the message, she went and grabbed her clothes–the same ones she'd worn in the previous evening–and started to get dressed. Lollipop came in wearing a robe while Star was listening to the ominous news from the guards. Somebody had tried to break into the Vault. They had the place on lockdown and Princess Bubblegum had been spirited out of there. Now they suspected that there were a couple of jokers still down there.

Lollipop opined, "I don't like this, Star. You aren't getting any sleep..." The wizard girl brushed her off. It wasn't as if this was going to wait. Done dressing, the wizard collected her phone and headed for the stairs. Lollipop sighed heavily as she watched the young girl go. Finn had asked her to look after his daughter while he was gone, but Star didn't seem interested in her help. She was insistent on carrying on with this alone.

Reaching her car, the young woman went tearing off into the night. As she drove, she called into the office to find out just what was going on, reaching Lieutenant Steele, who was outside the Vault. "Six perps," said the tough banana. "We think the defenses got three. The package is back at the palace. They didn't even get close." That was their first priority, and it was the first big test of the new security measures. Princess Bubblegum was safe. "Alright," said Star. "Hold them until I arrive."

She took the streets of the capitol at high speed, driving lights-and-sirens the whole way. Roaring up to the massive laboratory and secure storage facility that was Bonnie Bubblegum's Vault, the young woman jumped out of her truck and ran up to the Banana Guard command post. The top banana on the scene came out, announcing, "confirmed that there are two still inside. We've got heartbeats." Which was good. Star had questions. "Where did they go if they didn't go for the Princess's lab," she asked? "Locker seventeen," said Lieutenant Steele." Motioning for her to come into the command post, he turned and walked back under the canvas tent.

The guards had a tap into the interior camera feeds. "Show me," Star commanded. Tapping a few keys, the guards brought up a view of the storage room where the intruders were holed up. Outside, there were three corpses just as Steele had said. Two looked like mutants. One was a warrior-kingdom berserker. Star shivered in involuntary memory. She'd used a man like that to enter Mafia Princess's vaults. She'd left him to be slaughtered. It was an eerie coincidence. "Inside," she commanded. The guard clacked some keys, calling up the feed from inside the locker.

At first they saw nothing. Then, as the guard panned the camera back and forth, they finally found two of their quarry laying up against the wall. Both were wounded, looking as though they had been through a meat-grinder. Which, of course, they had. Finn the Human's patented electric meat-grinder. Finn had invented many of the traps down there. There were dozens of them, waiting to fold, spindle, and mutilate the unwary. "Zoom out," rumbled the wizard. She'd caught a glimpse of something in the corner there.

The guard did as he was bidden, revealing that the invaders had in fact breached the security for the storage locker. The door was wide open. As Star and the others watched, a strange creature came strolling out. The figure looked like nothing so much as a humanoid coated in oily black muck. As Star stared in shock, the creature walked towards the drain in the center of the room. To her astonished eyes, the creature began to melt, oozing down the drain almost as though it were nothing more than raw sewage. "We need to get inside," shouted the wizard! "Can't," muttered Luke Steele. "The Captain's traps are still active. We try to get in there before we get them shut down, we'll end up like those two jokers." Star spat curses.

"Get us in," she growled. "Get those traps shut down." With a heavy sigh, the guards at the controls got down to work. The business went the better part of an hour, with the Banana Guard's few techs getting turned out to help with the intractable problem of the hopelessly scrambled security system. Star came and went, stepping outside for fresh air and occasionally having a sip of hot tea to wake herself up. There was a crowd forming–people who knew some of the workers still trapped inside and the curious. Star detailed some of the guards to keep them away from the doors and windows, but she mostly left them alone. She wasn't good with offering condolences or false hope, so she stuck to what was important–getting them inside to rescue any survivors and assess the damage.

As the clock ticked over to midnight, Star found herself stepping out of the tent once again, leaving the frustrated guards close to smashing the terminal. Her dad's traps were proving stubborn. There was something wrong with the alarm system, and Steele seemed to think it had been tampered with. Of course to get at the alarm to do the tampering, you'd have to be down inside one of those rooms with the traps. _Or really clever,_ thought Star. It seemed crazy to think that somebody had defeated the system her dad and Princess Bubblegum had both worked on, but, as she spotted a familiar face standing in the crowd outside the Vault, she began to wonder.

Stepping off, the little woman began to slip through the crowd. She did it subtly. She didn't want to spook the mark. Step by halting step, she made her way through the crowd of people there on the street. He didn't move at all. He was still standing right where he'd been standing when she got within a few feet of him. In addition to being shockingly honest, he was a dapper thug, standing six-feet-eight in a handsome, tailor-made suit. He'd adopted the local custom, shedding the leather and mail from the Warrior Kingdom.

Standing there with the big man in sight, Star did the calculation again. She could take him if she just meant to kill him. Her father had taught her half-a-hundred ways to mangle a body, and, when he got done and sat down, her mothers taught her more. Problem was that he was an awful big fellow, and she needed him alive, not dead. She needed him able to talk. Shaking her head, the young wizard stepped forward. A glancing blow with a blast-bolt might do it. Or it might turn his innards to jelly and kill him stone dead on the spot. As she readied her spell–and tried to time it just right to avoid hurting anyone else–he suddenly turned and bolted. Muttering curses, Star took off after him.

Meanwhile, in Froyo Kingdom, Billy the Human was receiving a surprise night-time visit. He'd turned in the same time his father had, though it had taken him a bit longer to get to sleep. Whether it was the different rhythms of the Frozen Yogurt Palace or his missing wife or the disturbing news that Cherry Cream Soda was here in Froyo Kingdom, Billy had found himself a little keyed up. After tossing and turning for a while, he'd finally drifted off. Now someone had come along to wake him.

The touch came feather-light on Billy's arm. Groggy at first, he half-dreamed it was JJ. He'd dreamed of her a lot the last few nights–really since the conversation with his dad on the train. He'd dreamed of laughing with her. He'd dreamed of her off-the-wall humor. The one thing he didn't dream of was the evil side she'd shown him in their apartment.

Princess Ragnhild eased the covers down off her hoped-for prize. She had thought of Finn often the last ten years, wondering about might-have-beens. She'd been angry when a teenaged Finn seemed wholly unable to pull himself together long enough to manage a real date, and his idiot brother had sure spoiled the moment on occasions both numerous and varied. At the time, she'd thought of him as an immature jerk, but time had softened that view. She'd gone through the dating thing, finally managed to settle down, and then found out just how hard it was even without kids. When she'd gotten word Finn was coming, she'd found herself excited.

She'd wondered. What would he be like after all those years? She knew he'd been married. She'd been invited to the wedding, but she hadn't gone. The sight of the beautiful man who got off the train had sent her into a tizzy. She'd been surprised at how mature he'd become and how handsome he still was. And his prowess between the sheets was well-proven. Here was a man who was lusty enough to keep _two_ women very happy. Standing in the train station, a naughty thought had taken hold.

She could seduce him.

She was still beautiful. Everyone said the years had been good to her, and if she'd resorted to preservatives a few times over the years, well she was discrete about it. Finn obviously still found her attractive. And a man could have a fling every now and then. His wives didn't have to know. They could finally have the intimate moment the dog had interrupted years ago. On his side, Billy was aware of a slight chill as the covers left his body. Then he felt a deeper chill that startled him awake.

Then he felt something cold and sugary against his tongue.

He rolled the woman off of him. He was sure it was a girl. She responded by wrapping her arms and legs around his body and holding on. She kept on kissing him, and she rubbed her chill body against his. He could feel her plump boobies against his chest. Her fingers pawed at his back and his butt, feeling the hard muscle there. It was crazy, and he halfway thought he was still asleep and dreaming. At the same time, he was horny as fuck. JJ had been kind of a nympho, hungry to get it two or three times a day, and he'd never lacked for sex while they were together. When he lost his wife, he'd gone pretty much down to _nothing_. Breaking that kiss, he pressed his face into those plump knobs of hers and kissed her tender flesh. He didn't know who this was, and he was tempted really not to care. He could tell she was a Frozen Yogurt person, and she had a slammin' body. And, well, that was good enough for now.

The young man kissed her cool, soft flesh, teasing her tender nips with his teeth and tongue and running his hands all over her flat stomach and broad hips. He hadn't really been a fan of yogurt until this moment. Now he savored the strange sweet/tart taste of her body as he slowly kissed his way across her stomach. Soft moans told him he was playing the right notes, and her body wriggled around on the bed beneath him. Laying open on the bed, Ragnhild shivered at the thought of him doing her. Finn had rubbed her hot pussy through her panties when they dated, but that was as far as they'd gotten. Now she got even hotter at the idea of all the things he'd learned in the intervening years.

Indeed, Billy was headed south to really see what Frozen Yogurt tasted like. Pulling those long legs apart, he got down at the Y and inhaled her strangely sour/sweet musk. Taking an experimental swipe with his tongue, he was delighted to find that his childhood dislike of the classic treat didn't really apply here. He kind of liked the taste. When he really began to lick and suck on her tasty snatch. Ragnhild squealed at the feel of that. Her ex rarely wanted to do that for her, and usually she had to insist. The enthusiasm that her old beau attacked the business with had her biting her hand to keep from screaming.

Billy kept her boiling for a long five minutes, nibbling at her nether lips and teasing her hot snatch with his finger. Still, he was pretty horny himself and anxious to get off. Drawing back, he climbed up over her, fisting his big boner. Knowing what was coming next, Ragnhild wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pressed her face in against his neck. She screamed when he eased the fat dong into her. Then when he drew back and did it again, she screamed all the louder. It had been a while. She was a princess. She didn't get to go chasing dudes whenever the mood struck her. She had to be discrete. Which meant she had to go horny a lot.

It didn't take long at all for the pair to find the rhythm. Ragnhild wrapped her legs around her lover's waist, her arms around his neck, and her lips around the hard muscle of his shoulder. Billy wrapped his big right mitt around one of her plump boobies, squeezing and stroking it as he banged her hard. From time to time he would lean down and give one or the other of those plump pears a good, hard suck. As they got closer and closer to the end, the two were one big nasty, moaning and shouting at each other, making the bed rock and bang into the wall, while the frame and mattress squeaked and creaked with every thrust he gave her. Finally, with a roar, Billy drove his pecker home and shot off. The pretty princess's fingers clawed his back and butt painfully hard, leaving angry red welts as she screamed into his shoulder one last time.

Back in the Candy Kingdom, Star came up a set of broad stairs in the back of an old tenement. Built of stale gingerbread and speckled with mold, the place looked to have been abandoned longer than Star was alive. She took her time. Moving step by careful step, the little woman tested every board. Her mother had frequently laired in places like this, using the worn structure itself as alarm system and defenses. After all, a half-rotten board could be just as deadly as a carefully crafted snare.

The scent of the place–the bitter tang of mold and decay–was kicking her butt. There were days being a wood-nymph in a city was a drag, and one of the things she was devoted to was building a life–and home–in the country. She wanted her daughters to have the life she had. That was one thing that kept her from screaming at her birth mom right now. It was critical to Star that her eventual kids not see the abuse she'd seen.

The building around her was empty. She _felt_ that. There was no sense of _life_ to these rooms. There was nothing but the silence around her and the trail of footprints through the dirt. Following that trail around rotten boards, the young woman did her best to plan out what she was going to do when she caught her quarry. He was big, and she was a little shit like her mom. Of course the notorious Huntress would have you shitting your pants and ready to surrender even if she had no intention of taking you alive.

Up ahead, Thor paced the boundaries of an abandoned flat, walking off his anxiety. He was grateful he'd gotten word to the others that the job was burned. They had gotten out before he got back. Now he was left dealing with the fallout alone. He'd screwed up. He had been hoping to see the bananas come up out of that place with some of the break-in crew. He'd wanted to confirm who they were for his boss. He hadn't even guessed they would be dealing with the Hunter's daughter. He'd gotten out of there the minute he'd spotted her. Unfortunately he was several beats late. She had made him. Now he'd be lucky to survive this.

As he was making another lap around the room, the door burst inwards with a sound like thunder. The big man immediately spun to face his assailant. With a wizard it was best to close before you got flattened by spells. Jerking out a pair of rune swords, the big man went charging in. The little wizard did an incredible leap, clearing his razor-edged blades with ease. Twisting her body mid-air, she landed with a soft thump and turned to face him. "Slow," she said.

The big man charged again. She spun away from him, ducking and twisting to avoid his rapid-fire sword strokes and jabs. As he caught his breath, she calmly stepped out of reach, saying, "told you to stay clean... You better be glad my father's not here..." "So it's true," he puffed. Mildly the waif replied, "that he bitch-tamed the notorious Huntress? Nah. She's still cunty as ever. Had an accident with a wish-spell is all. I'd worry more about the wizard in the room if I were you..." The big man seemed to think about that. Just as he'd said though, his thinking was pretty limited. He just kept charging in.

Five more times he went all in. Five more times he failed utterly. Exhausted, he stood there before the deadly creature that was Finn the Human's kid by the deadly hired killer just waiting on the end. Suprisingly the end came from behind in the form of a powerful blow to the head. As Thor dropped, he realized he'd been fooled. She'd never been in the room at all.

The mob enforcer woke up to the icy chill of a bucket of water to the face. He found himself tied to the room's only chair. Opposite him, the little beauty he'd met in the bar stood patiently waiting with a dart in her hand. "Momma would have slagged you and kept on steppin'," the wizard announced. "Talk, and I'll consider leaving you alive." He grimly chuckled. Holding the hand with the dart out beside her, the wizard caused the deadly missile to float. "Who sent you," she demanded?! "What did you do to the security system?"

Thor chuckled. Shaking his head, he said, "not like you're thinking, girl..." "Do you think I'm playing," Star snarled? Thor sighed heavily. He supposed not. She'd already more or less taken him out without even making it a contest. "I was sent to keep those jokers from doing whatever they were doing," he said. Star frowned. That didn't make sense. Looking up at her, he said, "work for the boss of bosses..." Star's heart skipped a beat. Van's mother, as far as she knew, was 'out there' somewhere, and honestly she knew Bonnie Bubblegum had wished the bitch would curl up and choke to death on her own spite.

Thor said, "she been cleanin' house... Had t'get rid of some traitors..." Glancing up at her, he said, "would have hired you to do some of 'em." Star flushed. She was out of that business. More to the point, his words told her that the signs they'd been seeing of thugs out of Warrior Kingdom muscling in weren't dudes muscling in. They were putting down a rebellion. In spite of all their efforts, they hadn't taken out Cherry's gang at all.

In casual tones–far more casual than she felt–Star asked, "who are they?" "Don't know," Thor replied. "They ain't in this for the huntin'..." Star frowned at him as he explained that the creatures and gangsters in question weren't shaking down elderly shopkeeps for spending money. They were spying on the palace, snatching up people they thought knew something about the secrets that swirled around Bonnie Bubblegum, and generally doing things that were off-limits.

"Why off limits," growled Star? "Your boss did all the same things." "Boss called a truce," muttered Thor. "The captains made her cut that shit out. These fellas. They were stirring all that shit up again." More on point, they weren't exactly doing the things that brought in money. As bad as things had been when the boss was feuding with the Princess, there had been plenty of money flowing to make everybody happy. These guys didn't give a damn about the cash.

Star had that sinking feeling just now. With everything that had been going on with Sweet-P–the attack on his house and now the abduction–it was clear to her that the Reapers were working for this mystery faction. The attack on the Pig's place had never been about the pig at all. They were after Sweet-P. And now they were after whatever was in that locker. "And you," demanded Star? "What were you doing there?" Shrugging as best he could in the ropes that bound him, the thug said, "wanted to make sure they didn't get what they were after. They been casin' the joint for weeks." Star's mouth came open.

Thor explained, "they hired a guy who knew a guy who knew the guy who'd wired up the alarms. He was gonna' scramble things up and let them get in. We hired the guy who'd wired up the alarms, and he was holed up in this building hooked into the system from the outside. We triggered them traps on them dudes when they got inside." Star was just staring at him now. With a shrug, Thor said, "kind of makes us on the same side, huh?" Shaking off her shock, Star said, "you're still a wanted criminal. Why would I trust you?"

Stretching casually, Thor snapped the arms and legs of the chair that imprisoned him and stood up. The wizard-girl darted back from him in terror. He made her dad look like a pussy! Chaffing at his wrists, the big man asked, "d'you have to make 'em so tight?" Voice still calm in spite of her pounding heart, Star said, "uh, _yeah_. Fat lot of good it did, though." Thor chuckled. Reaching out, he offered her a hand. It took a moment. Reasoning that he could have turned the tables at any point already, Star accepted the gesture. His grip was surprisingly gentle. Seeming to guess what she was thinking, the big man shrugged and said, "ma used t'tell me not t'squeeze girls' hands..." That just made her laugh. After a moment, he laughed too. "Alright," she said. "You can go, but I'll have the name of your inside man." Thor said, "nah. You ain't gonna' wreck this dude's life. He did you a favor... I'm'a pay him... Send him on his way."

Going in a pocket, he took out a piece of paper and asked, "can I get your number?" The wizard blushed. First time a guy ever asked for her number, and it was some big, ugly mook in a musty old apartment building. Blushing to her hair, she wrote the number down for him, and he took it back almost reverently before stashing it in his wallet. "Alright," she said. "Get. I'll be in touch." The big man collected his swords and got out of there. Star sighed heavily when he was gone. That didn't go like she thought it would. Shaking herself, she headed out after him. She had to get the alarm system shut down and get in to assess the damage. Tomorrow was going to be a long, shitty day.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20:

Ragnhild the Frozen Yogurt Princess woke to the soft sounds of her sweet boy breathing gently beside her. He'd been quite the animal last night. They hadn't really exchanged anything beyond moans of passion and cries of 'yes' or 'more' or 'harder'. Blushing and grinning, she realized that words hadn't really been needed. Even now he had one big, powerful arm around her middle, holding her tight against his powerful body. She'd gone into this just for the pleasure of a quick fling with a man she'd likely never see again. Now she found herself wondering if she could have more. Rolling over–intending to kiss his sweet lips once more–the beautiful older woman got the shock of her life.

Billy got a startling _shriek_ that hurt his ears and sent him shooting up out of dreamland. He sat bolt upright–just in time to see his beautiful host go scrambling back over the edge of the bed. Froyo Princess landed with a loud _thump_ on the hardwood floor, and Billy scrambled to free himself from the entangling covers to check on her. The young man found her sitting there rubbing at her side totally, stark naked.

She was just as hot in the light of the morning as she had been in the sheets last night, and he found himself filling his eyes with the sight of her. It was hard to believe that she was as old as his dad was. His mom was built like a brick shit-house, but she was born out of a wish-spell. Froyo Princess was all natural. In spite of the angry glare she was giving him, he kind of wanted to do her again. "W-what are you doing here," she demanded? "I could ask you the same," he retorted. As he recalled it, she'd slipped into _his_ bed. "Well, I thought I was...," she started to say. Almost immediately she clammed up. Billy grimaced as he realized who she _thought_ she'd been crawling into bed with.

"Dad's taken," muttered Billy, as he climbed out of the bed. He didn't so much as bother trying to hide his nudity. Instead, the irritated human boy walked over to his bags and fished out some clothing. Froyo's face went red hot as she realized just what kind of predicament she'd put herself in. She'd just screwed Finn's son. She'd screwed his son on accident and then gone on to reveal that she was aiming at the man himself–the _married_ man. She was doubly screwed, and she could expect every kind of shame if word of this got out.

Rising, she went to the younger man and began to plead with him. Billy, who'd had a moment to calm down, stopped her. Finn was the Alpha Dude, right? Every female Royal on Ooo had chased him at one time or another. This girl– _woman_ –was just taking her shot. On its face, it wasn't anything like what JJ or Cherry had done to his family. And he was sure his dad wouldn't have had anything to do with this woman. Finn the Human just wasn't that kind of guy. Sure there was the thing with Cherry, but she'd kind of had a gun to his head at the time. With a heavy sigh, Billy said, "it's ok, Your Highness. I won't tell if you won't." Blushing, she nodded. Taken with a notion, she asked, "did you like it?" Billy rolled his eyes. "Uh, _yeah_ ," he retorted. "I got to get it on with a beautiful woman. What dude wouldn't want some of that?" Her blush got deeper, but she actually giggled.

Billy took her hand, bent down, and kissed her fingers. He smiled up at her as he said, "I am yours to command, my Lady. Always." Of course getting to ogle that body was a pretty good perk just now. "Well," said she. "Let us take a shower." A few more minutes of intimacy would hardly hurt them, and he wasn't the only one enjoying the view. The pair washed and then the beautiful princess slipped away to her quarters through a secret passage to dress.

An hour later, Finn arrived in the audience chamber to find his son and Ragnhild already present. He had spent a while last night wondering/worrying about his son, and a little more time in the shower this morning pondering the identity of the mystery woman Cherry left in Billy's bed. Now he'd arrived in Ragnhild's office to find Billy actually _flirting_ with his old flame. A shiver of fear went down his spine at the thought of Billy sexing his old flame. At the same time, seeing them get on so well gave him a measure of fatherly pride. And he was delighted by the idea of Billy moving on.

"Like father like son," murmured Cherry. Finn glanced down to find the nasty bitch standing beside him. She'd slipped out while he was sleeping. "I'm told he railed her nine times last night," she murmured. "He fucked her bow-legged..." Finn blushed to his hair. She actually sounded _proud_! Her hand grasped his, giving it a squeeze. As the Princess walked to the conference table, Finn was shocked to realize Cherry was right. She _was_ walking funny. "She wanted my man," growled the candy-person. Calming herself, Cherry added, "so I gave her the next best thing." She found his blush amusing, and she actually giggled, but then Ragnhild called out to them to join her.

The pair separated at the table with Cherry joining the princess on her side of the table and Finn sitting with his son. "The conspiracy stretches well beyond the borders," Cherry announced. "Recently my operatives in the Candy Kingdom detected a plot to enter the candy monarch's secure laboratory..." Finn grimaced. He'd thought he was smashing her organization. He was appalled to learn just how much was left. And if he was appalled, Billy was shocked.

Cherry was completely unfazed and unconcerned by their shock. She had lots to tell them about their adversary. He or she had a legion of loyal operatives from the wastes and a shocking penchant for violence. Many of her more _volatile_ operatives had met their ends after confronting the other organization. Billy asked the obvious, "who are they?" With a sigh, Cherry admitted, "I don't know, Bill. I can only tell you that it's somebody out of the wastelands to the southwest. They're bad news." Finn found _fear_ in her voice. She was afraid. That made _him_ a little afraid.

Moving on, Cherry put a slip of paper on the table. "Brevik's contacts think your simpleton's here," she said. "His name is Sweet-P," Billy muttered. "Right," Cherry said with a chuckle. She slid the paper over to Finn, saying, "it's an old warehouse on the river. The pier collapsed, taking half the structure. Brevik says it's often used for dealings with outsiders." Finn took the paper and folded it into a pocket.

Catching her former boyfriend's attention, Ragnhild said, "would you and William wait outside. I want to speak to Miss Soda alone." Finn immediately rose and thanked her for her time. Billy was a beat late, his eyes suggesting he didn't trust Cherry to remain behind. Finn took him by the shoulder and steered him towards the door. This wasn't the time.

Out in the hall, the younger man immediately started in on Finn. "Dad," Billy hissed, "are you sure we can trust her?" Finn knew exactly what he meant. "Nope," said Finn, "we can't. She's manipulating me. It's what she does. She can't help it any more than Bonnie could." Which was saying a lot. Calmly, the big man said, "we have a _connection_. That's the only advantage I have. Right now she has a commitment to this crazy _thing_ between us. We can use that. Right now Ragnhild has power over her. As long as that's the case, I think we can slip by, find Sweet-P, and get out of here."

Done with their private conference, Ragnhild and her _advisor_ came striding across the room. They were two very-beautiful women and both men stared. Ragnhild was blushing faintly as the pair stopped before the two men. She still thought Finn was sexy, and she could even see it in the son he'd raised. At the same time, she found herself a little smitten with the younger man. He was like the Finn of her youth–young and attractive in an almost _primal_ way.

Both men smiled, as Ragnhild said, "Wulf has taken the location under watch. He's waiting for you." "Thanks, FP," Finn replied. "I really appreciate the help..." Ragnhild offered him a smile and a 'no prob, bob', just like he used to say it to her. Then she stunned both men by giving both a hug and kiss on the cheek. Finn was used to that. Billy blushed to his hair. With Cherry at Finn's side, the trio left Ragnhild, heading out to the carriage yard where Cherry's coach waited. With little real choice, the two men piled aboard, with Billy taking the seat opposite their host. Cherry merely smiled. It didn't matter. Finn still loved her. That was all she cared about.

The ride out to the riverfront was tense, with Billy doing his damndest not to talk to or even look at Cherry very much. He cast a pall on things, and Finn too mostly clammed up and stayed that way. Cherry had wanted to ask about their son a little, but the moment was just wrong for that. In the end, all three were relieved when the chauffeur announced that they'd reached the destination. Glancing out the window, Finn found Wulf and his team had the place surrounded, with guards at either end and men at both the two front doors.

Rolling up to the main entry, Billy jumped out of the carriage. Finn was a little slower. Cherry stopped him there and kissed him–for 'luck'. The two clambered down to find Billy already grilling Wulf on what he had seen so far. That consisted of a whole lot of 'not much' and 'quiet'. He hadn't sent anyone inside. He'd been admonished to hang back and 'let Finn do it', which wasn't doing much for his mood. Cherry didn't really like him. He was a lot like Finn but without all the charm and grace that let him smile in the face of things that bugged him.

Done with the grilling, Finn said, "well, I guess we better get at it." Billy said, "I'll go around to the north, dad." Wulf sent seven guards with him. Wulf was going in the south, taking another seven or eight men with him. That left Finn going straight up the middle. "Be careful, honey," sighed Cherry. The way she said that sent a chill through him. It reminded him all too much of the way Simone said it. Staring at the ruins of the half-sunken warehouse, the evil hottie murmured, "I don't like this..."

Taken by the notion that she was very much right and remembering how he had always made sure to collect a kiss from both his wives before going off to something crazy/stupid, Finn turned to her, leaned down, and kissed her soft lips. When he drew back, he surprised a tear going down her cheek. Yeah, it was still there. For both of them. Shaking his head at the madness that was his life, Finn whistled for the guards and headed through that half-rotten door.

The interior of the shattered warehouse looked just as rough as the exterior with half-rotten floors and decaying walls. Mottled sunlight filtered down from scattered holes in the half-rotten roof. Finn carefully picked his way along, testing each step as he went. He wasn't the lanky young man who'd been happy to climb a hundred foot tree with no safety rope. He was a big man–big enough that marginal floors would easily have given way on him. Fortunately he was also wise enough to know it.

Big as the old warehouse was, it might have taken days of searching to comb through. The half-wrecked state helped there, closing off much of the structure and sort of channeling their effort to rooms they had a chance of reaching. Step by step, they dug their way through rooms that had once been filled with trade goods from all over Ooo. As each room got cleared, Finn's bad feeling intensified. Cherry was right. Something strange was going on. Strange was bad news in their business.

Just now they were in a section with a relatively intact roof. Instead of weirdly alternating patches of sun and shade, they had an inky, _terrifying_ darkness where anything could be hiding. A couple of the dudes had flashlights, but shit would get real in a hurry if a fight broke out. As he stepped into a darkened chamber at the heart of the structure, he came face to face with a big pile of equipment. It was like a corner of Bonnie's lab with honkin' big electric-spark making things, a console with a sea of blinking lights, and lots of things that hummed and whirred.

The big man stopped where he was and stood staring at the machinery. Some of it was very familiar. He was sure he'd seen it before somewhere. _Bonnie's place, maybe,_ thought Finn? As he wracked his brain for the answer, a scream behind him and to his left announced trouble. Finn spun to face the source of the noise. Two of the guards were missing. Finn drew the Finn Sword as a blot of darkness rushed a third man. This man hacked and chopped at his foe with heavy, overhand blows. The creature went down, but didn't stay. To Finn's horror, the thing seemed only to _touch_ the guard, and it was all over.

The inky blot slipped away as the guard screamed and wailed. He toppled over there in the darkness, and Finn knew he was dead. Grabbing a lantern from one of the remaining men, Finn cast about, searching for their foe. The creature was fast and smart though. As Finn closed on the most recent corpse, a shout from behind told that another of Wulf's men had bitten the big one. Finn spun about and charged a blot of darkness, thrusting with the Finn Sword. The blade bit deep, but when he shown the lantern on the creature, he found it was the mummified corpse of a guard.

Motion out the corner of his right eye alerted him just as a the creature grabbed his right arm. The pain was incredible. Almost immediately he let go his fabled blade. With a burst of speed, he swung the lantern, smashing it into the creature's face. As the creature let go of his arm, he tossed the lantern at it. Grabbing the Finn Sword with his left hand, he tore it out of the corpse and slashed the creature across the upper body. The thing squealed so loud it hurt his ears. Finn backpedaled. He was hurt bad, and he knew it. The creature was also hurt, but it kept right on coming.

Just then, Wulf came on the scene. He hurled a can of lamp-oil on the monster, chasing that with a flaming match. The creature howled in pain and turned to face the new threat. Wulf and his troops rushed in, swinging and stabbing with their blades. The creature lashed out, slaughtering two men at one go. Finn continued to back away, his arm sending cobwebs of pain through his mind. He felt weak as a kitten, and he felt like he was going to pass out. Two thoughts kept him going. What would happen to Bill? How could he protect Cherry?

As he stood there, leaning on the Finn Sword as he tried to gather his fading strength, the creature grabbed Wulf by the head. The big man didn't even get to scream. To Finn's horror and rage, the big man began to dissolve, just like AJ. He tried to get back in the fight, pushing off with his blade, but his legs gave out, leaving him toppling forward. Laying there on that nasty floor, struggling to rise, the big man watched the hideous pile of rancid goo come toward him. Just then, Billy Mertens burst through the wall to find a scene from his nightmares in that darkened space. Nearly a dozen mummified bodies lay scattered about the room. Front and center, he found his father sprawled on the floor, his right arm missing above the elbow. Worst of all was the hideous goo monster reaching for his father.

 **And... CLIFFHANGER! :^) Some of you HAVE suggested 'killing' Finn.**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21:

Star Mertens wore a wary look when she entered Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum's office. Her family had enjoyed a peculiar relationship with this woman since before she was born. She knew her dad had pursued Bonnie. She suspected he still loved her. Bonnie very much loved him, though she seemed incapable of showing it openly. What she couldn't seem to help doing was endlessly flirting with the man, which caused endless irritation with his wives. Fionna _hated_ Bonnie, not least because of the fiasco with the brother and sister they hadn't known they had.

Star herself was ambivalent. She loved living in the Candy Kingdom. There was no more cosmopolitan place in Ooo. She didn't fear being targeted when she walked out of her home. She didn't feel like she had to fort herself in at night. Few if any people here gave her a second thought. It was the sort of place she wanted to raise her kids. Much of that was due to the candy monarch's tireless efforts. What Star didn't love was the bitch's manipulating and politicking.

The woman herself was seated in a big, high-backed chair. Finn had selected that chair–with help from Simone and guidance from Lollipop. The high back was padded with layers of dart and arrow-proof cloth. Motors in the wheels and base would whisk the occupant to the safe room down the hall at the touch of a button. Star knew Bonnie _hated_ the chair, just as she hated the freedom-curtailing precautions Finn had instituted after Cherry's rebellion. That wasn't Star's problem though.

"The Vault's secure," the wizard declared. Bonnie, who had been looking at the latest food supply reports, glanced up at her, looking worn and frail. She wasn't sleeping. Again. Still. "Do we know who those men were," Bonnie demanded? "I need to get back to work." Star replied, "you can go today. They weren't after you. They were after the contents of a storage locker..." The tall princess shot to her feet at that news. Calmly, Star explained, "they got into locker seventeen..."

That seemed to change everything. The tall woman began to pace. She paced back and forth in severe agitation, all signs of fatigue gone. "What else do you know," the princess demanded? Startled by the sudden change, Star ended up more or less blurting out all Thor had told her. "Who was this man," demanded the candy monarch? "Name's Thor," Star replied. "I think he's either a hitter or bodyguard for a capo..." Bonnie nodded. "He likes you," she said. "We can make use of that..." Star wasn't sure where she was going with that.

When the young woman failed to respond to that, Princess Bonnibel turned to face her and opined, "you're eighteen, and you're a wood-nymph. I'm sure your mother's told you about getting what you want out of a man..." The wizard blushed to her hair at what her boss was suggesting. Bonnie said, "get everything you can out of him. I need to know what she knows. That's now job one. Dismissed." A shocked and appalled Star turned and wandered out wearing a disturbed expression.

When she'd gone, the princess went and picked up the phone. That was dangerous news. Dialing the phone, she waited, wondering if Simone would answer. Things had been a little chilly between them since Bonnie revealed her kids true parentage. To say nothing of Simone's obsessive work on Simon's campaign. Still, in spite of their rivalry and the current situation, Simone needed to know that someone had tried to steal the Ice Tiara.

For a wonder, Simone _did_ answer. Whether it was because of the name of the caller or because she simply wasn't there, Betty Petrikov didn't interfere. The two had a brief conversation about the secret contents of Locker Seventeen. The former Ice Queen had never known what Bonnie did with the Tiara. Honestly, Simone didn't really _want_ to know, and Bonnie had a vested interest in keeping the secret. Simone was saved from her madness, and the Tiara was much too dangerous to risk falling into the hands of some other fool.

And Bonnie, of course, had unfinished business with the entity inside the Tiara.

She had never forgotten the tempting words it whispered to her. She could have eternal life and a chance to experiment and experience as much as she physically could. She'd spent a lot of time poking at the Tiara in the days and weeks following Finn's miracle rescue. She'd made very little progress honestly. It would have needed her to give herself to the Tiara, if only briefly, to have a shot at understanding the dangerous power inside that collection of gold and jewels. In the end, there had been far more pressing matters at hand. She had colonies to establish, towns to build, and a nation to raise from the ashes of a global nuclear war. The Tiara had gotten stashed in the basement of her Vault. Now she had a bit of a problem. She'd moved the Tiara. She'd moved it _years_ ago, doing the work herself so that not even Finn knew of the change. However, the fact that someone knew where it _had been_ left her terrified about what else they might know.

In the middle of the conversation, her other line began to ring, and she was forced to end her conversation with Simone prematurely. She thought the young/old woman that had been the Tiara's slave would have some idea of the risk she faced now. Ending the conversation, she answered her second line, finding that this time it was Ragnhild with some very distressing news. Said news had Bonnibel Bubblegum on her feet again in a state of panic and terror. Finn had only been this gravely wounded once before, and he'd never been quite the same after.

"I know someone who can help," Bonnie told the woman on the other end of the line. "Keep him stable, and I'll want a sample of that goop." Ragnhild swore she would have someone collect a jar of the strange gooey glop that had been the murderous creature that attacked Finn. She'd send it south on a special train under heavy guard. She didn't want to be overrun with the things after all. Froyo Princess signed off and hung up the phone. Bonnie immediately turned to her address book and dug out the number of the one person on Ooo who could heal Finn's cursed arm.

Meanwhile, an irritated Vampire Queen awoke to find herself sitting in the dust next to a massive granite boulder in the middle of a rock quarry. Around her, hundreds of the restless dead, dressed in neon safety vests, sat swilling coffee, and eating lunch. Marceline's eyes locked with those of a handsome, antlered mutant with laughing brown eyes. "Mornin', beautiful," he greeted her. Marceline gave him a wary look. He gave her a sweet smile as he bit down on the cheesy dog that was his lunch. As he swallowed, he grimaced in distaste. A glance at her side showed she too had a lunchbox–much like the one she'd had as a kid. And suddenly she was really flippin' hungry.

 _Let's see what I've got,_ she thought. Flipping open the lunch-box, she was surprised and disgusted to find blood-pudding and a thermos full of warm, red blood. "Ok," muttered Marceline. "What gives?" With a shrug, the mutant replied, "you were a dick in life. You gamed a lot of people. Got over on some, and now you're paying for it. If you do your time, you rise to Dead World. If you miss your shift too many times... well, you go to the Night-O-Sphere." The mutant shuddered at that last statement.

The vampire shot to her feet. She wasn't dead! She was _un_ dead. "No point squawking," said the mutant. "The old man has your ass for ten years for every dick move you ever pulled. You can't get out of it. You just got t'pull your weight..." Nodding at the lunchbox, the mutant explained, "it's symbolic. I hate cheesy sauce. It kind of killed me. You just have to eat it. If you starve, you'll miss your shift..." Just then, a frail old man in a hard-hat and safety vest strode into view. "Ah, Clarence," he greeted the mutant. "Boss," Clarence replied. "Was just tellin' the newbie how this works..." Nodding, the foreman asked, "do you have any questions, Ms. Abadeer?"

Marceline growled, "I'm a vampire! I don't belong here! I demand...!" Frowning, the foreman said, "I'm afraid not, Ms. Abadeer. According to the records, you died during the Mushroom War and had trouble moving on. I'm afraid you've been a very bad girl. I have you for ten-thousand years..." A shocked, horrified, and angry Marceline got in his face. At least she tried to. One moment she was snapping at him. The next, she was burning. It felt worse than anything she'd ever felt from the sun. On top of that, she tasted a sharp, metallic tang in her mouth like gargling aluminum powder.

Softly, the old man said, "I was born millenia before the mushroom bombs fell. I have no idea how it felt to die that way, but I can't imagine it's pleasant, Ms. Abadeer. Please don't try that again." Gently he helped a sobbing Marceline to her feet. "Do your time, Miss," he said. "Rejoin your loved ones in Dead World. Clarence here only has four-hundred years left." With that, he left them.

Marceline glared hatred at the old man. "He's trustee because he's been down here longest of anybody," said Clarence. "Anyways... Break's over." It was time for the work to begin. Marceline watched as the young mutant put on his hard-hat, shouldered a prybar, and walked up to the nearest boulder. As he pried at it, the boulder suddenly moved as if it had a mind of its own. Clarence gave the vampire a sheepish smile as he leaned in to try again. To Marceline's horror, everyone around her was engaged in the same futile pursuit. Nodding at a demonic rock-crushing machine, Clarence explained, "we turn big rocks into little ones. It's six months off for each boulder and three for the little ones..." Nodding at the tools next to her lunchbox, the mutant said, "I'd get started. You only get one grace day every ten years..."

It was late in the day when Billy Mertens returned to his father's hospital room after a day of running around trying to manage the investigation without the Captain. He would hardly have expected to find Cherry Cream Soda curled up on the chair in his father's hospital room, sleeping in her coat. From the look of her, she'd been there for hours, which sort of gave the lie to what he'd been telling himself the last year and a half. He'd been telling himself that both Cherry and her henchman were users. They were bitches who just took all they could out of you and dumped you. If you were lucky. He'd told himself that JJ would have ultimately killed him anyway. He'd been trying to convince himself that she never loved him–that it was all some scheme to con him until she got what she wanted. That shocking scene sort of gave the lie to his thoughts and put him right back where he'd started.

If Cherry loved his dad, then JJ must have loved him. If JJ loved him, why did she agree to be Cherry's muscle? Why did she lie to him? And why did she try to kill him? Just the sight of the gangster there in his dad's room sent him into a state of turmoil, and he froze there in the door.

Stepping past the man who'd summoned her, the Queen Bee strode into the room, sifting the air with her keen sense of smell. The scent of evil and death had been powerful even as they rode up to this place. In this room, it was so powerful it almost made her want to turn away. At the same time, there he was. The great love of her life lay there comatose, his beautiful flower looking diseased and dead to her eyes. Striding forward, she came to his bedside for a better look.

In spite of what she had feared, his flower wasn't quite dead, but it wasn't doing very well. It was also doing harm to him, draining the life and strength from him. And there was something else at play–something... darker. It was also trying to drain the life from him. One or the other would probably have been survivable. Both at once was too much for even a man like Finn. The Queen Bee went into the pouch at her hip and drew out a jar with a supply of the Royal Honey in it. Dropping to one knee, she opened the jar, telling Finn's son, "open his mouth please." Billy was at the other side of the bed in an instant, prying his dad's square jaw open.

Cherry woke from an awful dream where she found herself standing at Finn's graveside to the sight of a massive bee-person standing there over her lover, pouring honey down his throat. She went crazy then, jumping on Breezy's back and attempting to tear her head off. "Stop," shouted Billy, as the mad little woman tried to strangle his father's savior. "We're trying to save his life!" He had to tear Cherry away from the Queen Bee, who stared at her in shock and fear. It was only when she saw the look in those dark eyes that she realized what she was dealing with. "I value him too," Breezy wheezed. Cherry stared at her in surprise, but Breezy only smiled back.

After a moment, the little woman was calm, and the Queen sensed she was no longer a danger. Smiling, gently, the tall bee-person mouthed the word 'watch'. Turning back to the patient, the Queen Bee began to sing in her hauntingly melodious voice. Billy found himself overcome with emotion as she sang. He didn't understand the words, but on an instinctual level, that song spoke of longing, love, and the pain of loss. Before his eyes, his father's right arm began to regenerate, growing and rebuilding itself until it was whole again.

Finn's eyes popped open to the sight of a beautiful creature that stood as tall as he. As his eyes came into focus, pale yellow skin and eyes like pools of liquid darkness along with delicate sylph-like wings filled his vision. That face was familiar to him somehow, and he burbled, "Breezy?" Then, stronger, he said, "it is you." He sat up then and gave her a good looking over, saying, "wow, bro! You look great!"

Smiling down at him, the Queen Bee replied, "and you look awful, Finn the Human. You better start taking better care of yourself, or I might kick your butt." Blushing, Finn grinned back at her. Realizing who had healed his arm, Finn offered profuse thanks. Reaching out, he gave his former wingman's hand a squeeze. Solemnly, he said, "that's another one I owe you..." Smiling archly, she said, "perhaps I'll find a way for you to repay me..." "Uh, yeah, sure," Finn replied with a smile. Yawning and stretching, the bee-woman declared, "that took a lot out of me." Billy stepped forward then, saying, "let's get you somewhere to sleep."

With another sweet smile for Finn, Breezy took her leave, with Billy walking her out, leaving Finn alone with his evil girlfriend. When Breezy was gone, Finn turned to Cherry, who promptly threw herself on him and cried. "I-I'm sorry," he babbled. He had often wondered how much she really did care. Now he had his answer. Straightening, she slapped him as hard as she could. "I didn't mean for things to go down that way," he murmured. "Things just got out of hand." Cherry was barely mollified.

The little woman settled on the edge of his bed and took his newly-restored hand. Finn flushed to his hair. At the same time, he found himself at peace with this. She was his lady. One of them, anyway. He loved her. It was what it was. Giving her hand a squeeze, he asked, "what happened after I went down?" With a heavy sigh, she said, "Bill finished off the creature that attacked you. We still don't know what it was. We sent a sample of the remains down to Bonnie for her to examine. After that, Bill found the simpleton in the next room. He was unharmed and in good spirits, so it looks like someone was using him for bait."

Finn flushed. It had worked like a charm. Laying back against the headboard, the big man opined, "sure was nice of Breezy to come help me out..." Rolling her eyes, Cherry told him, "boy are you a _dope_ sometimes. It couldn't be more obvious that she loves you." Finn's mouth came open, and he just _stared_ at her. Reaching out, Cherry touched his face and said, "but you already have someone..." Finn's blush came back. He had _six_ someones. If she ever found out, she might end up fighting Bonnie, E, and Simone for the right to cut his little bro off. Leaning forwards, Finn brushed his hand against her face, causing a shiver to go through her. Taking her face in his hands, he kissed her soft, red lips.

Cherry stared at him for several minutes, her eyes showing something akin to fear. At the same time, there was a shocking bit of _hope_ there as well. Shaking off her shock, the little woman rose and gathered on her coat, saying, "we'll get you out in the morning, honey... After the doctors have had a look at your arm..." And then she left him there. Finn lay back. He was hungry. And tired. At the same time, his mind was racing, going down a hundred different threads at once. He loved them. He loved all of them. With all their quirks and bad habits. How could he explain that, though? How could he make them understand, when he barely understood it himself?

Finn wasn't the only person to find healing in Breezy's song. Strangely enough, Billy now experienced a sense of well-being that he hadn't felt since the moment he found out JJ had been lieing to him. He felt... at peace. It was like all the pain and anger and all the hate in his heart had evaporated, leaving only the good feelings from his days with his wife. He still remembered the things she'd done, but they didn't really seem to matter.

Rounding a corner, the young man ran quite literally into Ragnhild. "I-I'm sorry," she burbled. "I came to see if Finn was doing better..." Smiling, the younger man said, "yeah. He's fine. Breezy was able to heal his arm." Nodding at one of the hospital's rooms, the young man said, "she's sleeping it off before heading for home." "Oh," burbled the older woman. For some reason the hunky younger man was practically scorching her with his eyes just now, even after they'd more or less agreed that their little encounter was a mistake. She was a little turned on and a little uncomfortable all at the same time. After Billy delivered the good news, a bit of an awkward silence reigned between them.

Reaching out, Billy cupped her chin in his hand, tilting her pretty face up towards his. In just moments, he was delivering a scorching kiss that made her heart flutter. "Oooh," she squeaked when he grabbed her ass. Spying the empty room he'd passed earlier, Billy pushed the beautiful princess inside and kicked the door shut.

Marceline wasn't passing nearly as wonderful a night. After hour upon hour of back-breaking work, literally chasing boulders across the barren desert of the quarry, she'd returned to where she started to face down the prospect of a truly loathsome dinner. One thing was certain, she had to at least go along to get along right now. She didn't ever want to feel that awful feeling of burning again. She still thought of escape, but she would have to be much more careful about how she did it.

When she returned to the spot where all the prisoners ate, she found Bonnie's nasty little servant standing there waiting on her. She was halfway tempted to rush him and beat the crap out of him. The only thing that stopped her was the fear. Was he a trustee? Was he _protected_? She didn't really want to find out the hard way. "What the fuck do you want," she demanded? "I-I'm sorry," babbled Peppermint Butler. "I-I should have warned you, but I didn't know what you were planning..."

Marceline wanted to bash him. She would have if she hadn't been rendered powerless. This guy was a dark magician, and he apparently had friends in some very dark places. "What's his beef," asked the fallen Vampire Queen? With a heavy sigh, the rogue manservant explained, "the master has been working for some time on a grief-stricken woman who lost someone close. He's influencing her to try and release a very dangerous entity into the world once more..."

It didn't take long at all for the vampire to figure out what he meant. Losing all control, the Vampire Queen grabbed Peppermint Butler and shook the shit out of him. "You mean that motherfucker is trying to free the _lich_ ," howled Marceline?! Breaking free, Peppermint Butler replied, "keep your voice down!" He quickly scanned the scene to see if anyone was looking. When he was sure there were no watchers, he said, "she's almost succeeded. She had the lich's vessel in her grasp." A horrified Marceline grabbed at her hair. All her friends were in danger!

She began to pace. Bonnie, Finn, Simone, and Simon... They were all in terrible danger! And she was stuck _here_! Turning to face Bonnie's flunky, she growled, "you gotta get me out of here!" With another heavy sigh, Peppermint Butler replied, "if only I could, Your Highness. My pact with Death is very specific. I get to hang around down here as long as I want. The minute I do anything that disturbs the status quo, he'll kick me out." And there were a lot of irritated demons looking for him. Marceline fixed the little shit with a baleful stare. Calmly, she said, "I will get free one day, with or without your help. You won't want to be hanging around anywhere if anything happens to my friends while I'm trapped here." With a squeak of fear, the butler dropped the dinner he'd brought her and rushed off.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22:

The girl stood out in the middle of the dark, smoky pub. There were bars where women were welcome. A crowd of beautiful girls drew the suckers and stiffs and got them spending money. Girls kept the rowdiness down because getting your ass kicked sort of limited your options for obtaining pussy. And nobody stayed angry for long when confronted with the sight–and _scent_ –of beautiful women. Thor knew all that because he'd run a bar for his uncle for several years.

But this wasn't that kind of bar.

This was a bar of, by, and for dudes. The _choice_ liquor, the cheap-but sturdy furnishings and fixings, and the girls dancing on stage in their cage were all focused on staking claim to a _different_ clientele. These men weren't interested in finding heaven in the arms of miss right. These were angry, lustful men who sat glowering into their cider or beer hoping to hide from their demons for a little while. They weren't looking for love. If they wanted company at all, it was only to slake their hunger. And the beautiful woman in the sexy black dress with her yellow hair and blue-green eyes was definitely not that kind of girl.

Of course she knew that. She knew word of her presence would get back to him. Then he'd be down like a shot to see what she wanted. The big man stepped off, crossing the room to the little hottie, who, just now sat staring down at a spiked glass of wine. Spiked because she was trespassing. Spiked because she was a valuable commodity who could be put to work. Thor sat himself, poured the tainted drink on the floor, and whistled for the bartender.

When the rogue barkeep was standing in front of him, the big man said, "bottle of the white for my guest here." The bartender rushed into the back and returned a few minutes later with the requested beverage. Thor carefully popped the cork, letting the bottle breath for a few minutes before he poured the lady a measure in a fresh glass. Sitting back in her chair, the beautiful young woman gave him a sweet smile–one her eyes didn't really share just now. "So what has you down here t'cut my balls off," asked Thor? "What makes you think that," she asked? He chuckled. He'd been rousted enough times that he knew the signs.

"The vault," rumbled Star. "Why were they there?" She got right to the point. She didn't really have her heart in toying with this dude, and he didn't seem like he was at all fooled either. With a shrug, Thor replied, "beats me. Even the boss had no idea what was down there. They didn't come out with it, whatever it was." Star frowned at him. He sounded like he knew. Seeming to guess what she was thinking, he said, "had fellas there when the bodies came up. Had five total. Figured there was s'posed t'be six, but we guessed number six... got a little too chewed up in 'em traps." Star let him keep thinking that. "Who's behind this," she asked? "Beats me," said Thor. "Even the boss can't get that information." And, right now, the only crime boss with more power than Cherry Cream Soda was the Mafia Princess herself.

Leaning forward, Thor said, "I know y'er daddy don't like this..." "My father's got nothing to do with this," growled Star. "You're a thug. You hurt people for money. Some of those people are just ordinary joes. I don't trust you. I don't trust your boss. She tried to fuck my family over, and she tried to murder my mom." Thor nodded. All of that was true. "But this is business now," said he. "The captains don't want this stuff either." "So what're you saying," she demanded? "Truce," he replied. "Our guys are layin' low right now. No bashin' old ladies. No robbin' banks. Nothin'. We want whoever this is gone too. It's bad for business. Can we agree on that?"

Star pushed back, saying, "I want to know what you know." Thor laughed, "you got a lot t'learn." That stung. Fist clenched, she demanded, "oh? You're going to teach me?" Shaking his head, he got up and said, "maybe you come back when you really want to talk." Exasperated, Star got up and stormed out, wine and plan forgotten. Every face in the room breathed a sigh of relief. The blonde wood nymph was gaining a reputation in the city, and nobody had wanted to invite her to leave.

Standing on the street, she found herself staring up at the moon. _That went well,_ she thought. He was right. She had pushed that too hard. She'd pushed because she wasn't really happy with using her body to get one over on somebody like that. She'd come down here with intentions of... _Following orders,_ thought the wizard? No. She hadn't intended to do that at all. She'd intended to go through the motions and pretend like she'd tried. Without really trying at all.

It was cool out, and, as she pondered going back inside, she found herself shivering. The dress was nice. She really liked it a lot. Lollipop had whipped it up in a jiffy earlier, taking time out of her day to do it. Soft and hip-hugging, it made the young woman feel very feminine instead of awkward. Of course bare arms in the cool evening air was a little much. Shaking her head and muttering curses, the wizard turned and headed back towards her vehicle. He'd won this round. She'd come back and try again later. As herself, instead of miss hottie come trolling for suckers.

As she approached the blacked out truck, a half-dozen plums got out of the cars on either side of the street. _Stupid, Star,_ thought the wizard. _Really stupid._ She should have borrowed a car. She should have done more to disguise where she was going. Now here she was without any of her usual weapons. She had her magic, but she didn't want to take just that into a fight with an unknown number of assailants. As the pack surrounded her in the middle of the street, she thought, _plums. What is it with plum-people? When did I piss off a bunch of mooks out of Wildberry Kingdom?_

"You're comin' with us, see," growled their leader. He was sporting a heavily bandaged hand, making him one of the dummies that had punched out a newspaper rack trying to jump her. Rolling her eyes, the wizard replied, "if I don't?" Nodding at one of the cars, he said, "then the goil gets it..." The window eased down to reveal one of her classmates from Toffee High. Tina Crunchy wailed pitiably and tried to climb out the window before they dragged her back inside. _Great,_ thought the wizard. The odds had just gone up more than a few notches.

As she pondered what she was going to do, the plums grew closer and closer. They had her completely surrounded. She couldn't run, and she wasn't sure what they would do to Tina if she tried. She wasn't sure she could fight. She didn't have her weapons, and she was pretty sure illusion wasn't going to work on them again. _You are soooo boned,_ thought the wizard.

"Hey," shouted a familiar voice! "You mooks ain't welcome..." The plums turned to the sound of that voice. Two men were coming up the street dressed in expensive suits. Star told the plums, "let the girl out of the car. Nobody needs to die tonight." "Boss wants you," growled the lead fathead. "Dead or alive..." "Have it your way," the wizard retorted as she slagged him with a lightning bolt. Four more mooks rushed in as Thor raced up to her side. As Star nailed two plums with a blast-bolt, the big man did the slice and dice on one trying for her back. As she turned to face him, his pal drilled three steel darts through the window of the car and into the guy holding Tina.

As the candy-person screamed in horror at the sight of tall that blood, Star and her new _friends_ laid waste to the gangsters, with Thor folding a few, his pal spindling others, and Star mutilating the remnant. Within five minutes, they were all alone on the street. Blood hot, Star demanded, "who're those guys?" Huffing and puffing, Thor replied, "could ask you the same. Just started showing up that night I tried t'hire you..." Star frowned as she did the mental math. "Other side," she asked? "Maybe," Thor puffed. "Been tryin' t'find out. Ain't took one alive yet..." Silence held sway a moment, as she did the calculation in her mind. He'd laid out all his cards and then some. She didn't really like this, but she also knew she needed his help. There were too many factions and too many unknowns. She had to take the risk just to try cutting back on some of it.

Extending a hand, Star said, "my name is Star, Star Mertens." The big man considered that a moment. Spitting on his hand and clasping hers, the gangster replied, "Thor Ericson, son of Leif by Helga, grandson of Roy..." And he continued in that vein until Star cut him off. Nodding at Tina, she said, "you can give me the family tree later. I need to take her home." Smiling and blushing a little, Thor nodded. Smiling back, Star said, "call me. We need to talk." The big man promised that he would.

Taking Tina by the arm, the wizard-cop steered her classmate up the street to her truck. When she had the girl settled in the passenger seat, she reached across and picked up the radio. "This is the lieutenant," said Star. "I'm on the scene of that shot's fired call. It's all shut down now. I need an investigation team down here ASAP." When she put down the radio, she found Tina staring at her. "What," the wizard demanded? "I-I... Th-this is what you do," Tina stammered? At Star's frown, the younger girl admitted, "everyone thinks you hook... All the teachers are talking about it..." The wizard saw red just then. She had been planning to skip school. Now she was going to teach Mr. Porker and the others a big lesson. In the moment, it didn't really matter. She had to get Tina home.

Two flatfoots arrived, fashionably late, minutes after she'd made the call. Leaving them in charge, she got into the driver's seat, started the truck up, and peeled out of there. Tina squeaked a moment, whining about the speed Star was driving at and reminding her of their lessons from Driver's Ed. Star laughed. Nobody was going to dare pull her over, and the sooner she got Tina home, the sooner she got to bed. She had a confrontation with the teachers to handle, and she had a report to give to her boss.

"So what's it like," asked Tina? "A lot like being the candle that's getting burned at both ends," muttered Star. In spite of Bonnie's suggestions that 'she knew how to handle men', Star hadn't even had time to _think_ of dating. "Wh-who were those guys," Tina burbled? With a shrug, Star said, "beats me. Gangsters out of Wildberry Kingdom'd be my guess. Since my dad took down a lot of the gangsters here, they've been sticking their noses in." She glanced at Tina, finding her staring straight ahead and looking terrified still. "What did they want with you," asked Tina? "Could ask you the same thing," chuckled the wizard. Flushing, Tina said, "the big one said he could make me a fashion model." Star nodded sagely. "Next time," said she. "Look before you leap, ok?"

After dropping Tina at her mom's place, Star got on the road home. She should have stayed and looked in on the guys working the crime scene, but she wasn't really all that concerned with a few of the late James Plumly's thugs. She had far bigger fish to fry with the idiots at school, and she needed a little solid sleep besides. And it wouldn't hurt to actually have the time to think about what Thor had said. She was in reaction mode right now, and she wouldn't be able to keep up if she stayed that way.

Morning found the principal of elite Toffee High tearing through the strangely empty halls on her way to the teacher's lounge. The students were outside, locked out by the menacing figures that were, just now, stomping up and down the halls. There were lockers open on every floor, the contents spilled on the floor. Those contents were a little worrisome. Her eyes suggested that she was seeing wafers of psychedelic chocolate, doses of Fruit-Witch venom, and packets of happy-weed spread out on the floor.

Arriving at the entry to the teacher's lounge, she expected to find Finn the Human. Instead she found one of her students. To Principal Poundcake's horror, she found Star Mertens standing over a terrified Dr. Floyd, who sat on the floor in very unfashionable handcuffs. "How _dare you,_ " demanded the plump piece of cake? Star nodded at one of the bananas, who promptly grabbed the principal and jerked her inside before shutting the door. Voice hard, Star remarked, "this piece of shit's been selling garbage to students, aided and abetted by some of the upperclassmen..."

There was a ring of wealthy students trafficking dope for fun and profit. It was the thrill of doing evil for most of them. They were bored, and they smuggled contraband to get their kicks. Star understood that better than anyone. She wasn't interested in wrecking their lives. This five star jackass was another story. "I-I," stammered Ms. Poundcake. "Can't we talk through this?" News that a teacher was involved in selling drugs to the students would close the school! Star's implacable face didn't move an inch. "Take him," growled the wizard.

The principal began to plead with her. She offered all sorts of perks and privileges if the hostile wizard would relent. Finally Star motioned for Steele and his men to stop. Coldly, Star said, "this turd is still going to jail, but I'll let you sweep the rest under the rug. I'll even let you spin it however you see fit. In exchange I will see an end to the harassment. No more nasty rumors spread behind my back. No more truancy reports. It all stops."

The principal went one better. "I-I'll give you an early graduation," she said. "With your grades restored and your record cleaned up..." The young woman well knew what that was about. The bitch wanted her _problem_ to go away. That was fine by Star. She wanted out of this place anyway. Nodding, Star told Steele, "take him out the _back_ door." When the guards had hauled the rogue teacher away, Star took the nasty older woman out the door and steered her towards her office to finish _negotiations_.

Meanwhile, her father and brother were preparing to take their leave of the Froyo Kingdom. Finn had been pronounced fit to travel by both the Froyo Kingdom doctors and Breezy. After a cursory search of the machinery at the sunken warehouse, Finn had decided to leave the matter in Ragnhild's hands. The Frozen Yogurt Princess promised to have the machines dismantled, boxed up, and shipped south to the Candy Kingdom. With Sweet-P in hand, so to speak, the two men were ready to get on the train and go home.

Of course Ragnhild and Cherry hadn't quite been ready to let things go so easily. Billy got whisked off to the Princess's suite the minute they were back in the palace. Finn was left with no excuse for why he couldn't join his evil girlfriend at her place for the evening. In the end, neither man could really say he minded the treatment. Both got sumptuous dinners, with Ragnhild plying Billy with a dozen local delicacies. Finn got pampered and generally fussed over, and the only thing that was missing from the evening was the naughty maid outfit that Cherry had kept in her closet.

Morning brought the bitterness of separation to the fore once more. Billy was shocked to realize just how much he'd come to enjoy Ragnhild's company. And Finn? He'd come to the realization that a lot of why the last six months or so had been so unhappy was that Cherry was missing from his life. He loved her. He had missed the nasty word-games, and the way she made torment feel so good. It didn't eclipse his love for Simone and E, but it was there all the same. Neither man was as happy to be going as they had expected.

Indeed, standing at the door to Ragnhild's balcony, watching the princess as she watched the world go by, Billy found himself facing a stunning reality. It was just as he had feared when he left JJ's place. He didn't want to go back. He'd feared that this trip–the time away from the world that he'd lost–would change him. Now he realized how right he'd been. He didn't want to go back to that empty apartment and the terrible echoes of her voice when he could be here with Ragnhild instead.

Striding forward, Billy slipped his arms around the beautiful princess and drew her to him. Ragnhild sighed. What was she doing? They'd agreed not to take this further than they already had. She'd liked it. She'd liked the time they'd spent here quite a lot. Still, she was old enough to be his mother! Leaning down, the big man kissed her cheek, and she found herself sighing. Eyes closed, she savored that contact, and her hand almost reached for the toy she'd been enjoying the last few days. He was making this very hard. "I aim to come back," he whispered. "Tell me that I can come back." The sweet treat gasped in sudden fear. Billy never stopped kissing her though.

Finally the proud beauty breathed, "yes." Turning to face him, she leaned forward, took his face in her hands and said, "do you really want this?" Billy nodded and whispered back, "more than anything. I need you." The way he said that sent a chill through her. Ragnhild slipped her arms around his waist and lay her head against his chest. She needed a new Captain of the Guard. That was how she would explain this. Having studied with his father for several years now, he made an excellent candidate, and he had wizard powers besides. That story would give them time to let people get used to his presence. Then she could slip the idea of Billy being her consort up on the cabinet. She knew she was being a fool, but, well, she'd already played the part. Why not?

Elsewhere in the palace, Finn rose from where he had been sitting and walked up to where Cherry stood staring out the window. Much as she claimed to have made things work, she didn't really like it here. She missed her home. "I'll put some flowers on his grave," Finn offered. Cherry nodded absently. That wasn't what she was thinking of. Seeing the mood thick on her and knowing how often that mood led to her drinking, Finn took her by the shoulder, spun her around and pushed her up against the wall. Seizing her boldly in his arms, he kissed her cool lips and said, "I want you to come to Warrior Kingdom. To the club there." Cherry gasped in surprise. "I'll be there in two weeks," he said. "With Van." At first she stared at him. Those blue eyes burned into hers, challenging her in a way she had never expected to be challenged. "Alright," she sighed. "Two weeks."

Picking her up off the floor like a toy, Finn kissed those cool lips once more. When he set her down, he turned, shouldered his bag, and headed for the door. As he turned the knob, he looked back at her, finding her standing there shivering a little, her chest rising and falling the way it did when she was excited. "Be careful, Cherry," he told her. "Van and I need you, and these guys are playin' dirty." "I will, honey," she replied. "You do the same, ok?" Finn promised he would. Then he slipped out the door, headed out to where Ragnhild's carriage waited to take he, Billy, and Sweet-P to the train station.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23:

"Is there anything unusual inside," asked Finn? Thor frowned in puzzlement at him as if unsure what he meant. Bonnie growled, "she promised you would obey. Are you reneging?" The princess wasn't exactly _thrilled_ to be crawling back into bed with Cherry Cream Soda. She was very upset with Finn for working with her and doing nothing at all to warn Froyo Princess of just how dangerous her _advisor_ really was. They'd spoken some pretty nasty words over the subject, and Bonnibel Bubblegum was in a bit of a snit just now. Thor, who knew very little about the by-play, calmly replied, "nope, boss. Just sayin' I don't know whatcha' mean. I's the usual mooks and wanna-be's... Few dart-slingers. Lot of muscle."

He had been instructed to do everything that Finn wanted. What Finn wanted mostly was information, and he'd been struggling to give them all he had. After meeting with Thor the previous night over shrimp and cocktails, Star had come home with reports about where the Reapers might be found. They were the men who'd tried to snatch Sweet-P in the first place, and that suggested that they were in league with the mystery man who was trying to free the lich and steal the Ice Crown. Finn wanted to raid their base, capture some of them, and find out what he could. He also didn't want to lose half the Heavy Boys to whatever had attacked him in the sunken warehouse.

"Good enough," said Finn. "PB? I'm'a go hit this place. You figure out what they did to Sweet-P." Which he knew was going to be a lot easier said than done. They were still waiting on the machines from the warehouse to arrive. Without them, there was no way of knowing just what the enemy had been up to. The only real way to dig into what was going on with Sweet-P was to probe his aura. Unfortunately, that was one of the 'missing' pieces of Star's education–one neglected by Emeraude when she'd gotten sucked into Simon's campaign. Compounding the problem, Bonnie had dismantled her aura-reading machine during the alien attack two decades ago, cannibalizing the parts to get the damaged Gumball Guardian up and running again. Later, with crises all over and her secret project in the works with Phoebe, she hadn't really had a lot of interest in rebuilding it. Now she wished she had.

"Be careful, Finn," said Bonnie with a heavy sigh. She didn't like this. Her nemesis was right about one thing. This was becoming _very_ dangerous. Finn promised that he would. Then, with Star and Thor in tow, he headed out. Walking out to where the Heavy Boys were waiting on them, Finn went over the plan one last time. As far as Thor and Bonnie knew, Star was going in disguised as an informant with information to sell. Her cover story was that she had information on what else might be in the Vaults that Bonnie Bubblegum wanted to stay hidden.

The Princess had got it into her mind that maybe the people in question were planning some sort of elaborate hostage-taking scheme. After all, the mere idea that someone would free the Lich would terrify every Royal on Ooo. Likely if they were looking to make money off of fear, news of some of the other artifacts in the Vaults would entice them. When Star had isolated just who was in the place and what they were up to, she was going to call in reinforcements. Thor's gangsters, because they _belonged_ in the area, were going to be the security in the early going. They could hang out in the neighborhood without attracting attention. Then they would clear the way so the Heavy Boys could get to the building without running afoul of all the henchmen and hangers-on who were holed up in that neighborhood.

Not for the first time did Finn think that Bonnie should have let him bust up some of the slums when the troubles had begun ten years back. She'd reasoned at the time that many of her people didn't have adequate funds to buy decent housing. Finn had feared that they were creating bad neighborhoods instead of figuring out how to create good ones. Now they were kind of stuck with places where his guys feared to go on a good day–places that made excellent hiding spots if you were up to no good.

On her side, Star felt a thrill of fear. This was the most dangerous thing she'd done yet. She was going in on her own with no brother or backup hiding across the street. She was going to be going in with just a few knives and her magic, hoping that was enough. There was still the unknown of whether or not one of those _things_ was inside. She knew one had been here in town. She'd seen it on the security cameras the night they tried Locker 17. She didn't know if it was still here. Not even Thor could tell them that.

"I got another vehicle," she murmured. "Got different clothes, and I got that stuff Lollipop made up for my skin." The sticky goop had the texture of candy-flesh and would stay on until washed off with alcohol. The less she had to use illusion for, the better the disguise would work, and the less difficulty she'd have maintaining it. She'd been thinking of tieing back her antennae. It would be uncomfortable, but she was only planning on being there for a few hours tops. While she was woolgathering, they came out the door and onto the square before the palace walls. "Alright, everyone," said Finn, "this is it. Star? We'll be seeing you in a few hours." The little group broke up.

Star went immediately to headquarters to drop her truck off. After a stop in the locker room, she slipped out the rear entrance of the headquarters. Walking down the street, breathing the cool fall air, she thought about the future. College classes would open up in the spring. She had the few already signed for, but things would start in ernest then. She'd be changing her schedule around a bit. Maybe. There was an appeal to seeing her little brother a little more. He was growing fast, and he was so cute.

Taking the turns seemingly at random, the wizard dusted her trail. She didn't need trouble from the plums tonight. There were far more pressing things at stake. She needed to have that chat with her dad about the mystery assailants, but right now it could wait. The other thing that was on her mind was her brother. Billy had been in a good mood lately. He was in the best mood she'd seen him in since he proposed to Junior. The trip to Froyo Kingdom seemed to have done him a world of good, and he was animated and talkative. He'd been home twice since his return, and Star was starting to think that maybe just maybe he was out of his funke. She wanted to ask about that, but there hadn't been a really good time. _After the raid,_ she thought. The whole family needed to get together and talk some.

Bob's Burger Barn was a regular hangout for people of a certain age in the Candy Kingdom's capitol. Nobody batted an eye when the young wizard strolled in. The wizard-girl got her own table back in the corner, far from the door, and the waiter–a boy who'd been resolutely trying to get Star's attention–was right on point with water and a menu. Star ordered up lunch and waited, even as she did her best not to get too engaged in what the handsome teen was trying to say. This wasn't the time. She didn't have time for this right now. She had to get her life sorted out before it quite literally killed her.

The wizard-girl collected her lunch and spent a little while nibbling at it, while she carefully watched the world around her. The car out front might or might not have been watching her. They had rolled up when she arrived and sat out there waiting on something. Nibbling at the sandwich in front of her, she managed to convince herself that the guys in the car were waiting on her somehow. She wasn't sure they were connected with the plums, but she was pretty sure they were looking for a yellow-haired wood-nymph. _Thanks, mom,_ she thought. It had been easier to sneak around when she wasn't the only wood-nymph in town.

Rising, she left her food and water there, slipped into the ladies room, and up to the mirror there. Washing her hands, she spent a little while working a careful illusion. Then, with one last adjustment, she went to the closet at the end of the ladies room, popped the lock, and slipped inside. She'd seen the ladder once a long time ago, and she knew it led to the roof. Shutting the door behind her, she went up that ladder and out onto the roof. Moving in a half-crouch, the wizard-girl quietly crossed the roof, heedful of the voices down below. Plums. She was sure of it. Fortunately Bob's shared a wall with another building next door. That building had a roof hatch too. She'd checked the records. Moments later, a young candy-person exited Dianne's Fabrics, strolling down the street carrying a small parcel of silk, while the plums hung out, waiting for the wizard to return to her table.

Star wasted no time at all heading down to the Reapers' neck of the woods. They'd moved into digs near the ruins of the observatory. The Royal Observatory had been isolated _before_ Shoko and Randy burned it to the ground. Now, with the place in ruins and no sign that Bonnie was planning to rebuild it any time soon, few people went up there. The streets in the area had always been sparsely populated because Bonnie wanted no light-pollution for her star-gazing. That meant there were few, if any people around to see the new element that had moved into the neighborhood.

The wizard went strolling up to the door of the forgotten house on Milky Way just as bold as you please, wearing a new disguise. This time she came dressed as one of the men who worked down deep in the Vault. The Princess liked to think that those men were patriots–with characters that were beyond reproach. Star's father liked to think that, like most Candy people, they were barely coherent loons, ready, willing and able to commit whatever mayhem struck their fancy at the moment. He made sure that none of them ever really got too close to the really dangerous secrets that Bonnie kept down in that labyrinth. Honestly, he'd debated whether or not Bonnie herself should have access to some of it.

He'd _let_ her move the Ice Tiara. He'd even let her think she had hidden it from him. The last fool to suspect the Crown was hidden in Locker 17 was in jail right now. Billy had spent a day leaning on him, and that was how they'd found this place. They'd sort of glossed over just how they'd found out about the Reapers' new hideout. Though he'd really sort of just come along and confirmed what they already knew, Thor had helped them cover up the messy business of just how they knew where to go. Bonnie thought he'd brought them the address, and that was just fine by Finn.

Almost as soon as she'd stopped before the door, that heavy wooden portal opened and powerful hands grabbed her, jerking her inside. She was slammed face first into the wall, knocking the wind out of her, and rough hands emptied her pockets. "Were you followed," demanded a voice? Star turned to face the figure on the stairs. "No," she replied. Shoving the others away, she said, "what the fuck, anyway...? I gave you the best stuff I had, and this is what I get?" The man on the stairs growled, "you cost me five good men. There wasn't anything _in_ that vault!"

When she turned to face him, Star found herself looking at a mutant with iridescent red skin. In bad lighting or from a distance, his coloration would have let him pass himself off as a Candy Person. He made a good choice for an operator. Calmly, Star replied, "they moved it. It was there. I heard Finn the Human and his kid talking about it." The dark fellow frowned thoughtfully. "When," he asked? "Long ago," Star replied. "Listen," she added, "there's other stuff down'ere. Watcha' need?" She listed half a hundred dangerous artifacts–from the hilt of Finn's broken Demon Sword to the alien communications device kept there. Some of it was actually real stuff. There was no lack of rare and dangerous things down in the Maze.

The man on the stairs pondered that. All those items would have been just what he needed not long ago. All would have been very good ransom candidates–items Bonnie Bubblegum would pay handsomely to get back. His master was aiming at a far loftier target. The boss wanted to hold all of Ooo for ransom. They'd have Royals from around the world paying them to avoid having their kingdoms destroyed!

Of course none of that happened if they failed to secure the Ice Crown.

The boss was irritated by the lack of progress. Nabbing the lich-kid had been a failure, and now their best lead to the Ice Crown had come up dry. The gangster motioned for his goons to bring his new friend upstairs. He wanted to see what he could get out of him.

Back at Headquarters, Finn strolled in to find his son nowhere in sight. Billy was supposed to be holding down the fort while he was meeting with Peebles. They had a lot going on right now, and Finn was glad to have help keeping things going while he was out of the office. Of course that assumed Billy was down in the trenches working instead of off doing something else. The younger man had gone from hostile and efficient before their trip to a little bit odd and secretive. He was talking to his family, but he wasn't saying much.

Finn had a pretty good idea what was ailing the boy. It was, in a way, like things before he proposed to Jake Junior. He was sneaking around, hiding up on the roof with his phone, and keeping secrets from them. Billy was in love again. And strangely enough, Finn was a little worried about who he was in love with. It was bad enough when Finn had been a boy, chasing first Peebles and then Phoebe. Billy was off-the-deep-end with Ragnhild, and it was a certainty that he wasn't being careful about it. _So what do you do,_ thought Finn? He couldn't _stop_ things between them anymore than he'd been able to stop Billy from dating/marrying Junior. _So you have his back,_ thought the hero. _Catch him when he falls and help him get back on his feet._

He needed to have that talk with Simone and E. A little attention–and advice–from his moms would go a long way towards straightening Billy out. And Finn needed to talk through his own problems with women. He couldn't forget that he was off the rails with Bonnie, Marcy, and Lollipop. He didn't know a good way to shut that down. He loved them. He'd always loved them. Just as he would always love Phoebe. Laying in bed, thinking about dieing for the twenty-eleven-hundredth time, he'd had a night and most of a day to think about that. He loved them, and he couldn't see a way to change that short of denying a part of himself.

 _You need to work this through,_ he thought. _You need to get this under control and stop hiding this mess._ It was a danger to his family, and he needed to figure out where they were all going with this, even if it meant Simone and E dumping him. Even if they came to hate him–even if they _all_ came to hate him–they deserved to know. Shaking his head at his own insanity, the big man walked across to the ready room. He needed to see Steele. It was time to get busy.

The big man got busy with his troops, planning the mission to bust in and rescue his daughter at the last moment. Thor kept them informed with up-to-the-minute reports on what was going on around the house on Milky Way, while Finn did his best not to worry. Billy eventually returned from his excursion to the roof and got busy with the job of directing traffic. They needed to get the streets around Milky Way cut off, and they needed ambulances on hand. Just in case. The hours ticked by, with both father and son climbing the walls as they got closer and closer. Finally the moment came, and, almost before the clock had finished its ringing, the Captain of the Guard was headed for the door, shouting for his dudes to join him.

Out on Milky Way, Star found herself sitting there in that abandoned house under the hot lights and cold gaze of her 'employers'. They had been asking some rather uncomfortable questions the last twenty minutes or so. She'd had them. She'd kept them eating out of her hands, talking about all the treasures there were down in the Vault. There was the Baker's Shard. There was the broken Demon Sword. There were bits and pieces of technology left by the alien invaders, including several functioning weapons. Those were all things that a bunch of crazy desperadoes would be interested in, and she'd had them eating out of her hand for a while.

Then the ring-leader got called into a secret room in back.

He'd shut the door on the curious wood nymph, and proceeded to spend over an _hour_ back there. Now he was back, and he had some rough questions for his guest. Sitting figuratively in the hot-seat in the middle of a rough-looking room, Star could clearly see signs of bloodshed. There was the peculiar stain on the couch–sized like someone's head. There were little drops of brown speckled on the floor. There were dirty cut marks in the corner that suggested a body maybe got the chop there. It looked rather like it was going to be curtains if she didn't give them some fast answers.

"I thought we were talking about robbing the Vaults," Star opined. "Yeah," said the lead gangster. "We were until I found out you was a trick." Star felt her heart lurch. Her disguise had been perfect! She'd practiced for hours! Frowning, she asked, "how'm I a trick?" Laughing, the head Reaper replied, "you set us up! Somebody set off the traps on my guys. They bypassed the sabotage we did and turned all that shit back on. _You_ were the one told us about the guy who built the system." Star flushed. He had no idea how close he was.

As he threatened all sorts of ugly tortures and blustered at her, a strange creature came in. Tall as her dad, it looked like an inky black statue. _Not good,_ Star thought. It was like the creature that nearly killed her dad! She could see this ending very badly. Doing a quicky inventory, she thought, _no knives, but I still got magic._ Would it be enough against so many and close in?

Just then, there came a pounding on the door downstairs. Every face there–all but the creature's–looked up in alarm. Star's heart was pounding in time with the sound of those strikes on the door. One beat. Two beat. They were all staring at the stairs. Three beats. Did she dare? Four beats.

As the door below splintered, the wood nymph wizard rose from the chair, dropping her illusion as she did so. As the man guarding her looked down in startled surprise, she blasted him out of his boots with a lightning bolt. Spinning to her right, she hit the man who'd been holding her down, flattening him there behind the chair. The man who'd been hovering over her left side tried to stab her, but the man who'd been on the far side of the room stuck a knife in his back. Star finished him off with a knee to the nads, a kick to the head, and a heel to the ribs. Backpedaling, she cleared the space around the chair, buying herself some room to maneuver, as her mystery benefactor went to work.

He was a deadly shot with his little throwing knives, and he put two in the first two men to reach the door. Down below, Star could hear her father shouting, "Banana Guards! This is a raid!" Did she call out to him? There were still two men in the room. And the creature. _Ice is good,_ she thought. Billy had been able to freeze the monster in Froyo Kingdom. He'd frozen it and shattered it. As children of the former Ice Queen, all the kids of the treehouse had learned a great deal about ice magic, and Star was decent at it if she wasn't yet instinctual like her brother. _He_ cheats _, Star,_ she reminded herself. Billy had been hiding a connection to the Ice Tiara for years. Ironically, he could probably have even told you where it was if he was asked.

Out in the hall, the Heavy Boys were chopping and blasting their way through the Reapers, stabbing, gutting, and shooting anybody who thought to get between Finn the Human and his daughter. That was about as safe a place to be as getting between mama bear and cub. Rescue was on its way up the stairs. She just had to hold on. "Yeah, you _were_ a trick," muttered the leader of the Reapers. Star shrugged. It was what it was.

The room exploded into a flurry of activity then. The lead Reaper and his bro charged Star. The creature darted through the door from whence it had come, and Star found herself throwing down with a man who was fast and deadly. The lead Reaper showed just how it was he'd gotten to the top of the gang. Feinting with a heavy steel cleaver, he sent Star backpedaling. At the same time, he pulled a five shot dart-pistol from his sleeve and let fly. The wizard twisted and turned, but she could feel one of the darts clip her left hip. A second tore through her right thigh. Screaming in pain as she felt the hot blood flow, the wizard went down. Her pal iced the second Reaper, sticking three knives in a tight pattern over his heart. Then he was coming to her rescue.

He didn't get far. The man with the cleaver shot him between the eyes as he rushed in, felling him there in that filthy room before he came after his primary foe once more. They were all under orders to get Finn the Human's family. The boss wanted his family dead, dead, dead, no matter the cost. He was going down, but maybe his wife and kids could see a little coin for this bitch's head.

Star scrabbled away from the maniac with the cleaver as he swung the heavy iron utensil at her head. The blade came within inches of cutting her throat a couple of times. Her vision was narrowed by the pain. She'd never felt pain like this before. It was all she could do to fend this guy off and not lose her fingers. She couldn't form a spell if she tried. Fortunately, a heavy rune-blade went slamming into the thief's upper chest just then, knocking him ass-over-elbows. Thor came striding up. Pointing at the room where the monster had gone, she hissed, "it went in there..."

Thor wasn't paying attention. "You're hurt," he said. Bending down, he picked the wizard up like she was a toy. Star saw her father there in the doorway, looking somewhere between enraged and terrified. "That way," she pointed. "Bleeding," said Thor, as he carried Star past her worried daddy.

They got her downstairs to the waiting ambulance where Finn got the news he was hoping for. Nothing vital hit. She was bleeding profusely, but the dart had missed the artery. His little girl was going to be ok. "Daddy," she said. The drugs they'd pumped into her body came close to stealing her wits. "Th-there was one of those creatures... It slipped into that back room..." Thor turned back towards the building, and it was clear he would have gone back in. Finn stopped him. "We wait for backup," said he. It was too dangerous to go back in there alone. With Star down, he'd have to send for Billy. Turning to Lieutenant Steele, he said, "get the guys out of there. All of them. Form a perimeter." Turning back to his kid, he told her, "you're gonna' be ok, kiddo. Dr. P's waitin' on you." He shut the ambulance doors on her, and the driver took off, leaving him with a grim vigil.

 **Sorry. Short update this week. Had a second chapter, but wasn't happy with the way it ended, so am rewriting.**


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24:

Her Royal Highness was wearing one of the sexy, semi-transparent gowns that the Flame King had made for her long ago. Barely opaque enough to hide her girl-bits from view, it still showed off her glowing pink skin. The front had a heart-shaped cutout over her plump boobies and the back plunged in a daring scallop from her neck all the way to her big, round ass.

And P-Bot was absolutely envious of it and her.

 _I'm jealous of_ myself _,_ thought the android woman. That was the crazy part of all of this. It was a hundred ways irrational, which was at odds with the android's programming. She sometimes found herself cursing her creator. She found herself cursing the Princess for having the intellect and brains to create her in the first place. She cursed the Princess for doing such a fucking good job of it. She cursed the Princess for forgetting to deactivate the hidden personality subroutines that left her with all of Bonnibel Bubblegum's memories, wants, and desires. And she cursed the princess for, well, being the princess. Bonnibel Bubblegum had everything that P-Bot wanted. She had the name. She had the power. She even had the man.

That was the thing that wanted to grate on the android's nerves the most. Bonnibel Bubblegum shouldn't have been able to get anywhere near Finn the Human. She was Princess. She had to maintain some level of decorum. She had a Kingdom to run. She had _responsibilities_. So how was it _she_ got to carry on the affair? Worse, she had been making noises lately that she was thinking about 'putting P-Bot to use'. After all, what good was it to have a body-double if you never made use of it?

As P-Bot watched, the Princess finished her primping. She had on glossy red lipstick that made her lips seem to beg for kissing and a smoky haze above her eyes that made her blue-peepers pop. Finn was home from Froyo Kingdom, and Bonnie was anxious to see him and rekindle their affair–all the more so since she'd found out that Cherry Cream Soda was in Froyo Kingdom.

Cherry was Bonnibel's enemy on many levels. She was the one person in nearly a thousand years to even show a possibility of outsmarting the princess. Where that wasn't enough, she'd sort of come between the pink princess and Finn like no-one else had since Phoebe. The tall princess wanted to make dead certain her lover wasn't thinking about that nasty bitch. She planned to tug the chains of love a little tighter around Finn's heart. Unfortunately today wasn't going to be her day.

Just as the Princess clipped on her earrings, Peppermint Butler rushed in, shouting, "Your Highness! Your Highness!" Breathlessly, he told her about the experiment that had sort of boiled over in the lab downstairs. P-Bot knew immediately what he was on about. It was the Self-Replicating, Meta-Morphasizing Bio-Organism that Her Royal Highness had been working on the last three months. P-Bot had wanted to help, but she'd been kicked out of the lab early on for disagreeing with the direction Bonnibel wanted to go. The erratic genius wanted some grand, unified solution to the food supply problem who's output she could control down to the minutest level, and when P-Bot suggested that wasn't really necessary for the goal of feeding the citizens, she'd gotten shown the door.

Of course, the android girl found herself wanting to laugh now as the creature was growing well out of control in the basement. A shocked and frightened Bonnibel Bubblegum was out of that dress and into her lab-clothes faster than you could say scheisse. The tall princess departed in precipitous haste, leaving P-Bot alone in her quarters.

When the princess had gone, P-Bot came into the room. Once again, Bonnie was going to stand Finn up. It wasn't the first time. She was more likely to blow him off than sleep with him. The android woman found herself staring down at the sexy gown the princess had been forced to shed. Reaching out, the sex-machine stroked the gown, feeling the silica threads against her fingertips. She could do it. She could slip on the princess's dress–and even her life–at least for a little while. Question was, did she dare? It was a certainty she could expect to be punished if she was caught, but the hunger was nearly irresistible.

On the far edge of town, Finn was meeting with his _investigators_ to see what they had learned. He'd left Billy to work through things with Cherry's representative. Now, in spite of Thor's help, his son was expressing grave reservations about the whole business. Standing in the backyard of the Reapers' house of horrors, the two men watched their _help_ as he traced the path of the sewer. Billy had found him at that when he arrived. "Are you sure you can trust him," Billy asked? "Nah," said Finn. "He works for Cherry..." And outside their _relationship_ , Finn didn't really trust his evil girlfriend. She was still evil after all.

Stepping off, Finn strolled over to where Thor was looking at blue-prints. "Whatcha' got there," the hero asked? "Drawings," said the big man. "Wadn't any way out o'that place." He had blueprints of the house and grounds. Pointing, he opined, "can't see any doors it could'a gone out." Between cops and gangsters, they'd had the place sealed, but Star _had_ seen the creature ooze down a grating in the Vault. Frowning down at the papers in his hands, Thor looked far more intelligent than the happy-go-lucky thug he seemed to be. It was another reason not to trust him.

"Let's get into what we do have," said Finn. The guards had torn the building apart, going floor by floor and working their way up from the basement. Billy had been here supervising for much of the time, with Finn and Thor wandering in and out. Thor's _expert_ had led them to seven graves hidden in the cellar and two more in walls on the second floor. Two mutants, three candy people, a wood nymph, and a dog had been stuffed behind a bath tub, next to the shower, and under heavy chunks of stone and concrete in that house of horrors. Finn had Dr. P working on trying to identify them. In the now, the name of the game was evidence. Finn wanted to know who those guys had been. They could maybe learn something about the Reapers and their mystery boss.

The three men went up into the house to find the place gutted. The walls were gone–torn down to the studs. The floors had been taken up in places. "They kept things pretty close," said Thor, "but we think they was mostly out of regular business..." "Regular business," asked Billy? "Stealing, runnin' ho's, and selling dope," Finn explained. Billy frowned. If gangsters weren't doing their usual, how did they make money. More on point, what were they really up to? Thor said, "they put leverage on a lot o'folks inside this kingdom and out..." Thinking of the subtle meanings of that–and the bodies–Billy guessed some got leveraged to death.

Thor asked, "what now? I'm thinkin' maybe that thing had the answers, but it's gone now..." Finn said, "we still have leads to follow. You said they squeezed people. Need to know who and why. Bill? Some o'those guys might be in Dr. P's morgue. Work with Thor. See if you can figure out who those dudes were. Let's meet in a couple-three days..." Billy promised to get right in it. Thor was more interested in Star. When Finn turned to go, the big fellow stopped him and asked, "will your daughter be well?" "Recovering," Finn replied. "She's supposed to stay off her feet a few days." Patting the thug on the shoulder, Finn announced, "got an errand to run. I'll see you later, Bill..."

Billy almost howled laughter at the look on the gangster's face. His dad almost seemed to be playing with the big palooka. It was plain as the nose on his face that Thor had taken a liking to Star. Both watched the Captain get in his truck and tear out of there. When he'd gone, Billy turned his attention back to the business at hand. The sooner they wrapped up, the sooner he got to talk to Ragnhild.

Finn had been thinking about seeing Peebles since he'd left the hospital room in Froyo Kingdom. He couldn't decide among them, and he knew it. He was in love with six beautiful women, and he honestly couldn't choose among them. He wanted to lay out his cards and talk through things with Bonnie. On top of that, he just kind of wanted to see her and hear her voice. She'd been a mess when they met in her office to talk about the Reapers, but there had been no time to talk. Now, with the chance to see his lifelong friend and beloved princess before him, the hero found it hard to keep his foot off the throttle.

Forcing himself to keep the speed down, the hero pulled up to the palace at twelve-thirty sharp–just in time for lunch. Bonnie had been excited when Finn suggested cooking up some of his hot spaghetti for her. She didn't get to go out much anymore. After multiple attempts on her life and the little business with Cherry's rebellion, Finn couldn't really let her, and she wasn't sure she dared overrule him. This was the closest they could get to a date-night. The big man went straight in the front door and straight up the stairs. It had taken a little wheedling and cajoling to get him to relax, but the princess had finally made him understand. It would have looked far more suspicious if he was sneaking in and out of the palace. He was the Captain of the Guard. It was his _right_ , even _duty_ to go up to her quarters to see her.

Just like he'd done a few thousand times, Finn let himself into Bonnie's room. This time the purpose was a little different. He wasn't checking up on her. He was here to see her. As a dude. Closing the door behind him, Finn looked around him and found himself staring into his girl's beautiful blue eyes. "Hey, babe," he murmured. Bonnie gave him that beautiful smile, and he found his eyes slowly scanning lower as she came towards him. She was wearing _that_ dress. Much like the nightgown, the dress had become part of his memories. He'd take those memories out of the vault from time to time–remembering how Peebles had looked back then–but he'd more or less assumed the dress was gone. Now, seeing his lady wearing it, he was caught between admiration of her beauty and honest lust because PB was rockin' those glass threads, and he so wanted to jump her bones. Shaking off the sudden craving for bubblegum, Finn said, "lemme' get the spaghetti goin'."

The two talked a bit while he worked at the little stove in the back of her suite. For a while, he did his best to keep the conversation off business. They were both a little overwhelmed with work right now, and it sort of spoiled the mood. Of course, in trying to keep things out of the realm of work, he also had the 800lb gorilla in the corner. They were still cheating, and he was still trying to figure out what to do with this. Like Simone and E–and Cherry–he loved Bonnie Bubblegum. Part of him–a little naively he supposed–thought that if he just told her that, things would be ok. But he couldn't just love six girls. How would that even work?

Strangely enough, he had somehow become _comfortable_ with his feelings. He no longer thought of himself as a jerk or a dick for being in love with the crazy girls who shared his life. He didn't feel like there was something wrong with him for looking at PB or Marcy and realizing just how beautiful they were. But it did kind of leave him in an even bigger bind than before. Done with the cooking, Finn came to the table and lay out a wonderful lunch, dishing up some of Bonnie's favorite foods. Then he sat down across from her and dug in.

"Wow, Finn," burbled the princess between bites. "This is really good." "Hey," he said, "I didn't realize it had been that long since the last time I cooked up spaghetti for you." Waggling her eyebrows suggestively, the princess said, "well, you'll have to make that up to me, then..." Finn blushed, not least because he would have been more than happy to _make it up_ to her any way she wanted it.

Halfway through lunch, Finn finally noticed the thing that had been sort of nagging at him the whole time. "Hey, Peebles," he said, "what's with the gloves?" Bonnie glanced up in surprise. Then, with a blush and a strange little grin, she said, "thought they would look nice with my gown. Don't you like them?" "Ch'yeah, man," Finn said. "Just kind of reminded me of the Mystery Night on my birthday way back when. You and Jake really pranked me good." The beautiful princess howled laughter at the memory of how terrified Finn had been. The pair spent a while reminiscing about that night as they worked their way through the meal Finn had cooked. Then, after Finn cleared the table, the pair went into Bonnie's study to relax for a while before they had to get back to work.

Finn's mind was on opening the conversation about where they should go with their relationship. Bonnie made clear where her mind was in short order when she immediately occupied his lap. In spite of the problems and in spite of good sense, Finn quickly found himself going for a bit of a ride as his erstwhile girlfriend turned up the heat. He loved Bonnie. He couldn't help returning the steamy kiss she gave him and caressing her beautiful body. At least until he realized he'd been fooled.

" _P-Bot_ ," howled Finn as he pushed the android off his lap! The ersatz Bonnie landed on the floor with a thump. Standing up, P-Bot rubbed at her butt. "Finn," she murmured. "Didn't you like it?" They both knew the answer to that. She couldn't have missed the lump in his pants. Face hot, the hero replied, "th-that's not the point!" Glancing away, the android told him, "I-I'm sorry..." Calmer now, he felt sorry for yelling at her. "How'd you get here," said Finn? She knew what he was really asking. Face burning, she told him about the problem in the lab and how the princess had needed to go deal with it.

"Oh, Finn," she breathed! "I knew you'd be _crushed_..." Finn blushed. Some days his _girlfriend_ was just as scarce as his wives. The android hugged him, and he was uncomfortably aware of just how close to Bonnie she really was. He was just as aware–even _wary_ –of the fact that P-Bot, in all the ways that mattered, _was_ Bonnie. With all the emotional entanglements. He had to make himself step away. They couldn't do that.

"Finn…," she sighed plaintively when he moved away. "We can't," said the hero. He wasn't sure he should tell her about his little problem even if she seemed to already know he'd been seeing Bonnie, but he knew he sure as hell shouldn't be banging her. "I know I'm not _her_ , Finn," she murmured. "I... in some ways I'm better..." At his frown of puzzlement, she said, "I don't need much. Just a place to plug in... I can't get pregnant. You'd never have to worry about... accidents..." As the meaning of those words sank in, Finn was immediately horrified. She was basically asking to be treated like a machine–a fuck toy.

"Is that how Braco treated you," he demanded?! "Stuffed you in a closet when he got done?!" He was shockingly angry, and the android woman realized she was just as guilty of misjudging him as her creator. No Finn would never have gone for something like that. Glancing away in embarrassment, the android woman replied, "no, Finn. He was very good to me..." He could tell from her voice that she was hurting. Finn drew her into his arms and said, "Peebs, you're my friend, not a fuck-toy... I'd... I wouldn't do that to you." "But what if I want it, Finn," she murmured?

He could hear in her voice just how bad she had it. She'd said it down in Bonnie's lab in the basement. Cherry's guys took her world. She'd been left with nothing. At the same time, she had to see other people being happy around her. And if all that wasn't bad enough, she had to see somebody else with the dude she wanted. He _knew_ how that felt. He'd been in that spot when Phoebes dumped him for Cinnamon Bun.

Things got a little too real just then. He had to do something that cut him to the heart. He had to hurt somebody he really cared for. If the android was a near-perfect copy of Bonnie, that brought all the same emotional baggage out in him. When he resolutely refused to sleep with her, P-Bot did what all his ladies did. She turned on the water. It was hard walking out of there when he would gladly have kissed those tears away. He was in enough of a mess already, and he couldn't see putting her through the inevitable trainwreck that was coming.

Driving back to work, Finn found himself strangely calm. He felt like he should be a wreck, but he was dead calm. He needed time. He needed a few hours–preferably with a neutral party–to talk his way through this and find an answer that didn't see him repeating that scene six more times. Unfortunately he had the sneaking suspicion time was going to be in short supply for a while. In point of fact, he was due to head out in the morning for his scheduled meeting with Cherry, and he still hadn't managed to tell Lollipop or Star that he was going. He was trapped. His conflicting loyalties were threatening the world he'd built, and he feared the out-of-control consequences of being the guy who cared too much.

Dinner at the treehouse was epicly awkward, with Lollipop looking for all the world as if she would brain him with a pot, and Star looking like she would freeze him or blast him. It would have been funny if not for the awful seriousness of the situation. He was cheating with Lollipop, and she well knew he was married. The only thing she _didn't_ know about were the _others_ who were helping him to break every promise and vow he'd made over the last twenty years. And Star? Well, she didn't like it when her dad got all mysterious. It reminded her all too much of the ugly double-life _she'd_ tried to lead, and she was terrified of the consequences of that to the point of near-paranoia.

Still this was business that the big man was hardly proud of, and he really didn't want to have an ugly fight with the girl he was cheating with in front of his daughter, so Finn put them both off in favor or getting a kit ready for his boy. He packed up a bag full of diapers and baby food while his girlfriend and daughter peppered him with questions. He packed a small bag for himself and put that in the truck. In the end, an irritated Lollipop stormed out, leaving the big man wondering if she would come back.

In the morning, though, he collected his son and headed out. He'd broken a number of promises the last few years, but this was one that he had to keep. He hated having to stonewall Lollipop and Star, but he wasn't really sure they would have reacted well to the news of where he was going. At the end of the day, though, _Cherry_ was Van's mom, not Lollipop, and she had a right to see her son.

The time with his boy was good. He hadn't been putting in time with his son like he should, and he was delighted to be doing all the little things with his son–feeding him, changing him, even playing with him. The trip to the Warrior Kingdom was so good, he would have been happy even if Cherry _wasn't_ there. The sight of her beautiful face coming towards him when he walked through the door made his heart soar.

Finn had hardly expected Cherry to actually be there when he walked into the former owner's suite at the top of the Cottontail club. He'd expected her to make an excuse. She was in danger from him, and they both knew it. More to the point, she was a powerful gangster, and she'd committed all manner of evil acts, even if she hadn't raised her hand once. How much of her interest in their child was about Van and how much was something else? It was a reality that colored their strange relationship and gave him endless hours of worry.

Still, when he found her there waiting on him, worry evaporated. He handed her their little boy, then picked her up and carried her straight out to the suite's private terrace. They laughed, and they talked, and they laughed some more. She had lunch waiting, but a delighted and grateful Finn cooked up dinner. Cherry had cleaned out every baby store in the area of every baby toy they had, and she spent hours scrabbling around on the floor off and on playing with their boy. In spite of fielding a couple of awkward calls from Simone and Bonnie, Finn was in a good mood when they crawled into bed late that night. Cherry snuggled in close, and, after the briefest of conversations, both proud parents were soon fast asleep.

Unfortunately happiness didn't last long. Somewhere near midnight Finn's phone began to ring. Shortly after, while Finn was still foggily fumbling his way out of bed, Cherry's phone also rang. Staggering across the bedroom to the door, Finn answered with an irritated, "yeah?" It was Billy, and his voice told Finn he was as worried as worried got. "Dad," said he, "real bad news on the seven in the walls..." Finn was immediately awake.

As a worried Captain of the Guard listened, the young Ice-Wizard explained how Dr. P had identified all but the wood nymph through her clinic's records or through connections with colleagues in other Kingdoms. Billy had helped out by cross-referencing missing person's reports. Thor had helped them out from 'underneath', finding out where the people had been when they went missing and a little bit of how they'd come to be in the walls of that building. All but one of the people in question was a mid-to-high ranking mobster. The sole remaining person was a missing scientist out of the Candy Kingdom's Science Academy.

"Why would they have an egghead in the wall of their building," Finn asked? "He was one of Bonnie's leading lights, pop," said Billy. "He worked on a lot of hush-hush stuff for her that nobody else was supposed to know about. They seemed to think he might have worked on the Ice Tiara." But Finn knew that Bonnie allowed nobody but herself to even know where the Ice Tiara really was. _He_ knew. Finn knew because there were things he really didn't trust Bonnie on. Part of it was that he knew of Bonnie's jealous feelings towards his wife, and he wouldn't really have been surprised to see his old friend do something awful with the Tiara to push Simone out of her way. But more to the point, Finn knew–and feared–his old flame's capacity as a shit-disturber who couldn't stay away from disturbing really dangerous shit.

Bonnie would smack anyone else for messing with things best left undisturbed. She'd even slapped Finn and Jake's hands a time or two. But she felt she was different. The genius Royal felt that she had the knowledge, experience, and wisdom to handle anything. Finn and Marceline both strove to keep that belief from getting the better of her. "Bottom-line," asked Finn? "What do they know?" "The Reapers," asked Billy? "Probably nothing. But I think their boss knows where Bonnie moved the Ice Tiara, pop. It's probably why that creature decided to take a powder rather than throw down." Its master had nothing to lose by letting the Reapers go down. He/shit/it already knew where the goal was.

Finn gave vent to a stream of profanity. That was really, really, super-gnarly bad news. When you added in the fact that Bonnie still hadn't managed to lay hands on the machines from the warehouse–the train was delayed in transit–they were left with an unknown foe who might have two of the most dangerous things on the planet under his/her control. _Unless we get there first,_ thought the hero. "I'm on my way," said Finn. "Meet me there." And he hung up. Cherry came out then, holding his pants and saying, "we're both going, honey. I know what they're after now. That was Thor. He's got a line on where they're going to strike next." Finn blushed. Smiling, she guessed, "but you've figured it out already, haven't you?" Blushing and grinning, he nodded. "Good, babe," she said. "We don't have to fart around with this. Let's get dressed, and we can drop Van off on the way."


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25:

Finn rolled up on the treehouse near three AM after a long, high-speed run across the Candy Kingdom in the middle of the night. Cherry, seated in the backseat with Van, did her best not to pay too much attention to what her lover was doing behind the wheel. This was dangerous and critically important business, and she didn't need to be distracting him from what he was doing–getting them _home_ –with a lot of girlish screaming. Her sister and cousin thought she was a little odd that way. She was wealthy and powerful, but she didn't spend a lot of time challenging the way the world was balanced. Cherry thought it was _they_ who had the problem. The world was working just fine the way it was, and she was more than happy to let men do what they had always done since it meant she never had to clean a filthy engine or work in a dirty field growing food.

As soon as the car was stopped, Finn was climbing from the driver's seat and coming back to get Van and his carseat out of the truck. While he fumbled with the carseat, Cherry took their son and climbed out, taking the chance to stretch her legs. No sooner had Finn wrestled the carseat out of the car than Lollipop came up out of the darkness, looking as if she'd just thrown on some clothes and rushed to get here. Finn had been afraid she wouldn't answer his call, but she looked more worried than irritated. "Is everything alright," she started to say? And that was when she caught sight of Cherry.

Her face flicked to Finn, and she turned a menacing glare on him. Finn did his best not to wilt under that burning gaze. Cherry didn't miss the by-play. She could see there was something going on there, and she halfway wondered if Finn was banging the babysitter. It was a shocking notion–her straight-laced honey, who had been having so much trouble with their relationship, plugging the babysitter on the side. But then she knew that the Hunter and the Ice-Lady had more or less run out on him. Striding forward, Lollipop kept her eyes fixed on Finn, and she said, "we're going to talk..." She would have snatched Van from Cherry, but the smaller woman coldly told her, "never forget that this is _my_ son."

The two women had something of a staring contest, and Finn was wracking his brain for a way to intervene without getting his nads crushed by one or both–women had a way of ganging up on him–when Star came out of the treehouse. She was dressed in her working gear and limping only a little. Finn frowned at her, but Star wasn't having any of that. "You need me, daddy," she said. "I'll keep up." Her appearance broke the impasse. Lollipop slipped the baby out of Cherry's arms. "We'll talk when you get back," muttered the slim beauty. Finn grabbed the babyseat and headed up the driveway after her.

Cherry found herself alone with Star. "He's my son," the candy-person murmured. "I have a right to see him." Star said nothing to that. Instead of hashing out all the problems this woman had created for their family, she said, "we need to move. Get in if you're coming." And Star herself climbed up into the front seat. Cherry waited only a moment before getting into the rear seat and shutting the door.

Meanwhile, up in the treehouse, Finn was dealing with the fallout of what he'd hidden. "I'm not going to cut your balls off," said Lollipop as he put the carseat into its storage cubby behind the door. "I'm angry, but it's more about the fact that you didn't tell me about this..." Cradling Van, she said,"Finn, this isn't good for him." "He needs to know who his mother is," muttered Finn. "You don't know what that's like. You had your parents." Finn had to wonder if his evil father had done his mother in at some point. Squaring up, he looked her square in the eye and said, "I'm not good with this. I'm... I don't like this life I'm living right now..." The former model blushed to her hair. She was part and parcel of that.

Slipping his arms around her, he held her and his boy close to him. "I don't understand why a woman would want to be part of this," he sighed. He was still thinking of P-Bot–and how he'd hurt her. "Love," she sighed. "I got it bad, babe. I-I'm jealous. I know how this has to end, but I don't want it to stop. So... I guess I'll be waiting for you when you get home." Stepping back, she gave him a steamy kiss that had his little buddy standing tall. "Be safe, baby," she breathed, then she turned and headed up the stairs to put Van to bed.

Finn watched her go a moment before heading back outside. When he climbed into the driver's seat, Cherry had her answer. She _knew_ he was carrying on with the sitter. He could easily have just dumped the babyseat inside the doorway and come back. He'd been gone far too long to not have had words with the other woman. Part of her felt a moment's regret. She could have called. She could have sent word of where she was. There were half a hundred things she could have done, even if she _knew_ he was going to be angry with her. And she'd missed a lot of time with their son. So if he was railing the babysitter, well he had his reasons. They would have to solve this problem at some point, but that point wasn't now.

"Thor's meeting us there," she said. Star flushed and glanced away from her father. She could tell he was having some problems, and she imagined he'd gotten an earful from Lollipop about taking Van to see this woman. At the same time, she was a little embarrassed to hear the name of the man who'd been sending her text messages the last few days. "Where we goin', daddy," she asked? "The Mafia Princess's vaults," Finn replied, as he put the truck in gear. Star shivered as she thought of four angry ghosts that might just might be floating around that place looking for _her_.

The clouds had moved in and it had begun to rain when Finn pulled up outside of the Mafia Princess's Grand Vault that morning. The colossal structure loomed out of the darkness like a brooding concrete mountain. In its shadow sat Bonnie's limousine with a small handful of guards around it. Scanning the scene, Finn found Bonnie herself standing near the door with Billy holding an umbrella over her head. She'd come dressed in a rather severe business suit in a dark pink that looked a little like dried blood in the lighting they had.

She wore her irritation and fear like a coat when Finn got out of the truck, but that expression turned to rage when she caught sight of Cherry. "There wasn't time to coordinate this," said Finn. Brushing past, he stared up at the facade of the building. He'd thought of coming here a couple of times. He'd thought of stealing the Ice Tiara and hiding it where even Bonnie couldn't find it. After taking a look at the precautions, he'd decided against that. He didn't have the money to pay hundreds of anonymous armed guards a salary to watch after the thing, and it was a certainty that if he just tucked it away somewhere, some fool would find it. While he didn't trust Bonnie with it, he didn't know any better place to go.

"Bill," said Finn, "remember. Whatever happens, PB takes precedence. Get her out of..." "Not this time, Finn," said the princess. "If these men are really thinking of stealing dangerous things and blackmailing the Kingdoms of Ooo, _that_ takes precedence." She stepped around in front of him and stopped him there in his tracks. She looked all of them in the eye and said, "all of us are expendable. We still don't know if they managed to free the Lich. We cannot allow them to seize the Ice Tiara. That would make them potentially unstoppable." She looked Finn in the eyes and said, "I can handle myself, Finn. I brought the Ice Tiara here myself, fourteen years ago." "I know," said Finn, as he stepped past her.

Bonnie gasped in startlement, but Finn was already walking up to the door. "He's not as dumb as you think he is," murmured Cherry, as she walked past. Billy said something then that shocked the proud princess even more. "I can sense it, dad," said he. "It's... below us." "Directly," asked Finn? Frowning in concentration, the younger man said, "no. It's... I can tell it's inside the building." "That's a little better," said the hero. He knew how extensive the vaults were, and he'd been afraid that their enemy could just dig their way to the Ice Tiara.

"It's not so simple as that, Finn," said Bonnie, as she came even with him again. "Nobody's ever penetrated the vaults." Cherry chuckled, "there was _one_..." Bonnie spun around again, her face gone very pale. Cherry's eyes flicked to the blond wood nymph, who was just now staring at anything but the vault. The princess looked up to Finn, who said, "we needed to find out where you might be hidden." It had been a time for extraordinary measures.

Bonnie was a little frazzled when they reached the interior of the vast, impenetrable vaults. All those sudden revelations left her in quite the state, such that it took three tries to get through the procedure for entering. The guards here left nothing to chance. Somewhere far above, the Mafia Princess herself held court, and she was almost paranoid about her security. "Ever meet her," asked Cherry, as they walked towards the bank of elevators? "No," murmured Bonnie. "She doesn't come to the Biannual Royal Conclave." There were a lot of minor Royals who didn't come. Indeed, Simon, when he'd been Ice King, had never come. "I've met her," murmured the little mob-boss. She shivered involuntarily, and that sort of set the tone for the elevator ride.

The Grand Vaults were only one piece of a vast structure that was fortress and prison for the evil woman who sat at the top of the massive tower. The elevator passed sprawling gambling dens and ugly pits where every imaginable vice got practiced. Bonnie found herself fearing a little for Finn's emotional health as they passed sights that made _her_ queasy. On her side, Cherry felt an undeniable pride at the way her man was handling all of this. Finn found himself with two hands holding his, and a blush suffused his face. Fortunately Star and Billy were focused outward towards the elevator doors.

When the door opened, both women relinquished their grip on his hands, and Finn–all business–loosened his sword as he stepped into the darkened hall beyond the elevator. With Thor bringing up the rear, the little group strode past the dozen guards lying in wait in the hallway and into the opulent space that housed the evil creature they'd come to see. Finn's keen eyes could pick out most every detail in spite of the dim lighting. It was like walking into a treasure vault. There were riches everywhere he looked. And all in the middle of Bonnie's kingdom.

Closer to hand, Finn's keen eyes picked out traps. This room was _full_ of them. Their host seemed not to like visitors very much–as in at all. Finn prayed nobody mis-stepped or wandered. The little group wove its way in and out among the scattered artifacts, finally arriving at a small inner sanctum at the center of the space. There an unlikely figure sat on a heavily bolstered couch. Frail and thin, with long, silvery hair, the masked figure was barely recognizable as female. Indeed, she looked to have more in common with Beemo's dad than anyone else. Finn could see tubes and other crazy junk sticking out of her and running into that couch.

Princess Bubblegum stepped forward, saying, "thank-you for taking the time to see me..." The other princess interrupted, "you've never known how to leave well enough alone. I should have fixed you at the start..." Bonnie flushed, and Finn suddenly had the feeling that Mo wasn't the only ancient still hanging around. At a loss, Bonnie tried to gather her wits while the Mafia Princess railed against her, shouting about how her father and brothers had built the business and how these two mooks were about to wreck the whole shebang!

"I understand your concerns," said Cherry, "but I think we need to..." The hostile princess growled, "I shoulda' had you touched at the start too, bitch. You think you can take ovah by whackin' everybody in the Cupola?! You'll never be in charge goil! I got half a mind t'fix you for havin' that little bitch in here tryin'a rob the place! This is your fault too..." Finn could see where this was going, and he headed the ancient being off at the pass, snapping, "if we're done pointing fingers and making threats, it's about time we figure out how to protect this place..." The evil old woman glared at him, but few people dared push Finn the Human.

Calmly, Finn said, "they're moving. Probably tonight. Weatherman says the rain goes on until midnight. I got the Cookie County Sheriff outside manning a barricade, but I'm thinking we should move it..." Bonnie and Cherry both blurted, " _no!_ " Glaring at her enemy, the candy Royal said, "we tried that with Sweet-P and played right into their hands, Finn. I won't make that mistake again." Cherry reminded him, "this is the strongest vault in all the lands, honey..." Coolly, the big man retorted, "it was until Star used four losers to get in..." Turning to Bonnie, he said, "I need permission to clear the nearby buildings, Peebles. We don't want them getting on the roof." "Permission granted, Finn," replied the Princess. "Star," said the hero. "Stay here. Billy, Thor, with me..."

The big man strode out, leaving the four women alone in that big, grotesque treasury. With a sheepish glance at his boss, Thor turned and followed the hero outside to the hall. Finn was hardly in a mood for pleasantries after that ugly conversation–a state of mind not at all helped by the tedious job of weaving their way back through that house of horrors. Indeed neither Billy nor Thor spoke until they were on the elevator headed down.

Thor opined, "your daughter is most beautiful." It was out of the blue, and it had both the other men staring at him. The big man glanced away, telling Billy something about where he was going with that. It appeared the big, bad gangster had been knocked for a loop by the pint-sized wizard-girl. Billy thought that maybe he even wanted to _date_ the little woman. Unfortunately for him, the timing was all kinds of bad, and Finn's mind was about as far from courtship as it was possible to get. Indeed, when he was in hock with six women–seven with P-Bot–the last thing the Captain of the Guard wanted to dwell on was female companionship right now.

"When we hit the streets," said Finn, "Thor's guys are going to form an inner barrier..." Both the younger men stood up and took notice now as the Captain laid out exactly how this was going to go. He trusted his men. He trusted them to be screwy and unfocused. They weren't exactly the sharpest knives in the drawer to begin with, but stress just seemed to make it worse. He could trust them with simple orders, though. Keep everyone out, that kind of thing. Thor's guys were a lot more savvy, and they had some idea just what they were looking for.

At the end of that awkward elevator ride, the three men exited into the bottom floor of the massive fortress. Billy immediately set the Banana Guard and the Cookie County Sheriff's men to marching. Their troops fanned out, setting up barricades two blocks out from the Grand Vault. Others went door-to-door, clearing the buildings inside the barricade and putting the occupants in vans and trucks and cars to get them out of there. When they had cleared a building, Thor's dudes went behind them, checking to make sure every little candy-citizen had actually vacated the premises and insuring there were no stay-behinds. Finn knew some of those men would get light-fingered and steal people's shit, but he didn't really have a choice. He could only hope Thor and his lieutenants could keep them from getting too distracted.

As the day wore on, and the city came alive, they had the near buildings evacuated, and Finn was able to pull the barricade back a bit, so they were only keeping one block's worth of buildings empty. Bonnie wanted to go down and check on the Ice Tiara, but Finn actually told her that she _couldn't_. That nearly started another epic row, but the look on his dad's face told Billy that Finn would quite likely have slapped her if she tried. He was in another place right now. He was... different.

There had always been a difference between the big man and most dudes that Billy saw on the streets of the Candy Kingdom. He'd chalked a lot of that up to the fact that most of the creatures in the Candy Kingdom were loons. They could barely get through the day without losing the plot. Still, Finn the Human was different than even the mutants and humanoids that sometimes came in out of the darkness outside the kingdom. There weren't many men who would have told a Royal to shut her gob, but Finn was one of them. Fewer still could make that command stick.

Now, the big man walked the perimeter, checking up on his guards, checking up on Thor's thugs, and making sure everybody was doing his or her part. He put his boot into the bottom of one of their bananas when he caught the loon window-shopping at a hobby-shop down the street. He brutally sanctioned two of Thor's dudes when he caught the pair dicing away their stolen gains from the day. He left the two swearing up and down that they'd put the box of jewelry right back where they found it. After the thumping the big man gave them, Billy thought they might just do that.

The Captain of the Guard walked those streets across most of the day, in spite of the pouring rain and the blowing wind that tried to sneak inside Billy's jacket to soak him to the skin. Knowing how critical things were, Billy kept his conversations with Ragnhild to a minimum. She was missing him, and he was almost desperate to see her. Of course he wasn't the only fellow with a problem. He caught Thor looking at a picture of his sister twice when Finn wasn't looking. It appeared the gangster was smitten. Of course it was easy to see why. Star could easily give Emeraude a run for her money. Question was, what was their dad going to say? He and the moms had done their best to keep the kids away from anybody they saw as being _trouble_. That had been one of the reasons Billy had hid his relationship with JJ so long. Trouble didn't come much bigger than Thor.

As the sun took the turn for afternoon and the dudes started hunting up food for lunch, Star found herself listening to yet another iteration of the ugly theme that had been playing nonstop since the men had left. Mafia Princess wasn't very happy that the pair of them had brought this much trouble to her _Happy Place_. She had nothing nice to say to Princess Bubblegum or Cherry Cream Soda, and Star imagined it was only her presence that kept the old witch from stringing the pair of them up by their tits.

Bonnie was insistent that the Mafia Princess enhance security. She would have brought in her own assets and simply put them in charge. Cherry's advice was simply variations on the theme. The mysterious Mafia Council had a pack of expendable thugs who's loyalty was unquestioned. Both options took away the ancient gangster's autonomy, and she wasn't having any of that.

When discussions broke down, the Bubblegum Princess began to suggest that maybe she was tempted to clean this place out altogether and just pick through what she wanted afterwards. That unsubtle threat had the older woman ready to wring the candy-person's neck. This was her home and had been since before the Candy Kingdom ever existed. Outsiders would be running the show here over her dead body. _Already mostly there,_ thought Star. Even in the darkness, it was obvious that this wrinkled old hag was more machine than person. The wizard was, of course, careful not to voice that thought. Things were delicate enough already.

As the hours went by, and her stomach began to rumble, the little woman found herself daydreaming a little. What if she let him? What would her father say? How would her mothers feel about it? He'd been hitting her with text messages off and on all day–asking her how things were going, asking about what sort of food she liked, and suggesting that maybe he'd take her out somewhere nice. Of course they had to get out of _here_ first. Those three had been arguing–and even screaming at each other at the tops of their lungs–for hours with no sign of letting up. Star half feared they'd go on all night.

As the trio were hotly debating just who's fault this all was, a powerful _thump_ shook the building, sort of like the alarm that lets you know that you're all out of time. Rising, Star strode towards the door, her hand going to her phone. Her dad was on the line the minute she had it open. "Don't know, yet," said Star. "Whatever it was, it was inside..." "The Princess," asked Finn? Star glanced back into Bonnie's worried face. "She's ok," said Star. "They both are." She knew her father wouldn't ask the question, even if he _needed_ the answer, so she gave him the answer anyway. "Sit tight," said Finn. "Make sure nothing gets into that room."

Downstairs, a large, yellow-skinned mutant, with rippling muscles came through the grand casino, wearing an elegant suit and tie and carrying a massive handheld cannon. Behind him came a quartet of mercenaries dressed as servers and bartenders and all carrying dart-rifles, clubs, and swords. As one of the mutant mercs strolled through the casino, he casually tossed bombs at groups of people and through any open doorways he saw, sowing death and mayhem. It didn't take long at all before there was a stampede of people headed towards the exits, overwhelming the guards as they tried to respond to the attack.

Outside, Finn found himself listening to the chaos with a growing sense of fear. With each new report, his sense of unease grew. He'd thought of everything. At least he'd believed that. They'd sealed the building, preventing anyone from getting in. No-one could have gotten past the double barricade. _Which just means they were already here,_ he thought with a sick, wrenching feeling. As if to punctuate his feelings of failure, an explosion disturbed the cool, evening air, shattering one of the walls on the upper floors and hurling glass and concrete to the ground far below.

 **Hopefully, this makes up for the small update last week.**


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26:

They left the cordon of men in place around the outside of the towering fortress. It was entirely possible that this was some kind of distraction aimed at pulling the guards away from their posts so that the raiders could slip inside. Instead, Finn and Billy went inside and straight up to the elevator. The Vault Guard who stood watch at the post there told them, "locked out from upstairs. The minute the alert goes out, we shut down all the elevators so nobody can get through."

Muttering curses, Finn and his son rushed for the handiest staircase. The Mafia Princess's fortress-like palace was already in chaos, with shouts and thunderous sounds of violence filtering down from above along with small streamlets of people. It was every shade of not good, and Finn found himself doing the mental calculation. How long would it take those dudes to get down the stairs? How long did he have? Right now, the leading lights of Ooo's criminal syndicate were packing all the staircases. The enemy couldn't get down, but that wouldn't last forever. Eventually all those people would be out of the way. If those guys just started killing the people in one of the stairways, they could get down even faster, and it was just a matter of time before they figured that out.

Upstairs, the lady of the household was in quite a state herself as she watched the mutant cutting-crew tear through some of her most loyal friends and supporters as if they were nothing but paper targets. This was a catastrophe! How had those men gotten in here?! Her overwrought mind wanted to blame the trio standing in her sanctum, and she found her hand reaching for her couch's hidden weapons again and again. Star couldn't help but notice where her hand was. The seam in the couch's arm suggested there was a control panel there, and the young wizard-girl had a pretty good idea what they'd find inside. The old bitch had weapons of some sort. It stood to reason that she had weapons if she'd lasted this long.

Turning to her two charges, the wood nymph wonder suggested, "we should get out of here. We can probably get up to the roof, and I may be able to get us down the outside of the building." "No," said Bonnie. "This is where the fight is. As bad as things are, we're not going." Glance at Cherry and she added, "nobody here's a shrinking violet, Star." Reaching into a pocket of her pants-suit, she drew out an unlikely-looking weapon, then turned to their host and said, "you can save your courtiers if you send your guards." "That'd leave me alone with _you_ ," howled the old woman. "Makes no difference to me," said Cherry. "I have no use for them..." Rage flared on the Mafia Princess's face. Then, as if swallowing a bitter pill, she reached for the intercom. " _Downstairs_ ," growled the old bitch! "Stop those mooks, f'ore they kill everybody!"

As the quartet watched on the surveillance system, the guards out in the hallway drew out hidden weapons and, as one, rushed for the elevator. The pack of them crowded aboard and went down to deal with the chaotic scene in the main gambling hall. Mafia Princess turned the surveillance system back on the scene outside. If she were their foe, she'd have a couple of teams ready to storm the gates while the guards were distracted. As Bonnie, Cherry, and Star watched, she scanned ceaselessly back and forth, going from one camera to the next. Star was astonished to realize just how far the surveillance reached. She had cameras _blocks_ away scanning the streets. _Well,_ thought Star, _at least we'll see it coming. Whatever_ it _is._

Downstairs, terrified gangsters cowered with their families, hiding behind whatever cover was handy, as the ruthless terrorists in their midst indiscriminately shot anyone who showed his face. The Mafia Princess made it a routine habit to disarm any and all who came to her court. She didn't really want anyone getting ideas about making a change in leadership, so the people who called this place home had nothing more to hand than knives, and that was a bit too sporting even for the hardened men and women who'd been enjoying themselves moments earlier. The majority of the people who'd been in the grand casino were already gone. They weren't courtiers, and they gained nothing at all by staying. They were now packed into the stairwells, fighting their way down eighty floors to the ground where they could escape.

Upstairs, Star watched on the monitor, as the Mafia Princess's guards came off the Princess's private elevator like lions. Moving like the soldiers they were, the men advanced through the corridors with skill that the Banana Guard could only _wish_ it possessed. The lesson wasn't lost on Princess Bubblegum, either, as she watched the proceedings with interest. Her unwanted tenant hadn't been exaggerating when she suggested 'taking care of' her landlord. This woman had the firepower to do it with relative ease. Likely the only thing that might have stopped her were the Gumball Guardians.

As skilled as they were, the Princess's Guards didn't get far, though. They were moving into the section of the tower that housed some of the Princess's most important adherents when gunfire announced that there was a second layer to the enemy's plan. "What the...," stammered the First Lady of the underworld. She'd been in the midst of flicking from channel to channel, trying to keep tabs on the terrorists–the men who were still in the casino. Now she quickly flicked back to the hall where her guards had been. As the four women watched in terror, staccato bursts of fire from dart-guns hit the men from three supposedly vacant apartments, slaughtering them to a man there in the corridor. Things had just gone from bad to worse. "Just how many men do they have," howled Mafia Princess?!

Star glanced to Bonnie, who told her, "go. We'll hole up here, lock the doors, and try and hang on." The wizard rushed out of there. They needed to get the stairways unblocked. If they could get even one stairway unblocked, they could get help up here from the guards. The wizard woman rushed down the hall to the one staircase that let out on the Lady's suite. Praying it was unguarded, she threw open the door with a dart in either hand. This was going to be interesting in an ugly, unpleasant, way.

She wasn't at her best. The wound in her side and the bandages she was strapped with limited her range of motion. When you added in the fact she was kind of down one leg, she'd be lucky not to get killed herself! Taking a leap of faith, she went up and over the side, dropping down the dozen or so floors to the casino level. At the last minute, she released a levitation charm, arresting her fall so that she landed with little more than a heavy thump.

Stepping out into the hall near the private elevator, the young wizard scanned left, then right. The hallway itself was empty. The ambushers were gone, though the corpses in the hallway meant they were not forgotten. Star slipped up on the first open room and waited two beats before peering inside.

Instead of the attackers, she found the means by which they'd gotten in. The family inside the suite was dead. They'd been killed down to the youngest. If Star remembered correctly, these were the Consiglere–the Mafia Princess's leading advisors. They had the right to go in and out of this place at will, and they would have had unquestioned right to bring in anyone or anything they wanted. Shaking her head in disgust, the wizard moved onward. What was done was done. There was no changing their plan now. They had to fight through this.

The wizard took the hall in what seemed like slow-motion for the ancient woman upstairs in the penthouse. Still distraught over the loss of her most loyal guards, Mafia Princess shrieked curses at the video monitor. "Why the hell's she going so slow," growled the old bat?! Bonnie opened her mouth to speak, but Cherry, who had been pacing in worry, spoke first. "Because she's _alone_ ," the little gangster-girl growled. "Just her against an unknown number of assailants... If she rushes in like those idiots and gets herself killed, there's nothing between them and us..."

 _That_ actually got through, and the terrified woman calmed down. In fact, she reached for the arm of her chair, snapped it open, and put the doors to her suite on lockdown. Cherry continued to pace, telling the candy monarch that something was wrong. Frowning, Bonnie asked, "ok. What's up?" Frown contorting her lovely face, Cherry opined, "there's something wrong here..." Curious and puzzled, the princess asked, "what are you thinking?" With a shrug, Cherry said, "those guys could have come straight up here after wiping out those guards. They didn't. Why?" Bonnie's sharp intake of breath showed she got it. Those men had some other objective in mind.

Their evil host _didn't_ get it. She flat didn't _care_. She was purely concerned with the lack of guards outside her door and the fact that there was a pack of murderous mooks making their way through her home. She began to shout and rail at the pair, but both ignored her. "I'm going out," Cherry announced. Bonnie thought about that. With a heavy sigh, she offered her Blast Pistol. Cherry pushed it away, saying, "it would just make me a target. Hopefully I'm wrong, and I can come right back..." "Ok," said Bonnie. "This is against my better judgement..." Turning to their host, the princess said, "she needs to go out." The Mafia Princess howled protests, but both women shouted her down. "Fine, fine," muttered the crime lord.

Meanwhile, Star had finally reached the casino. She'd seen no sign at all of the murderous hit-team on the way. They almost seemed to have disappeared after taking out the Princess's guards. That, in an of itself, was very troubling, but the thing bothering the wizard the most was the games. The shouting–and the screams–were just shy of blood curdling. The thugs in the casino were just _playing_ with their victims. Why? Eventually the guards would get through. They didn't win by staying up here, so what was their angle? She wasn't sure, but she also didn't want to let them just murder the old woman they were tormenting.

Deep breath.

The wizard stepped out, hurling spell darts from either hand. The twin darts were deafening in the confines of the casino's lounge as they obliterated two jokers who'd been watching an old lady get the shit kicked out of her and cheering. The wizard now had everybody's attention. "It's the nymph," growled their leader! "Kill the bitch!" They evidently knew who she was. As she darted behind a post, Star had cause to wonder if these guys were working with her plums. It made sense. This gang had tried taking out her dad. They may have tried taking out her grampa and mothers.

Steel darts tore up the column, making a racket as Star got as small as she could. She'd been feeling invincible until she got shot. Now she felt anything but. She could hear shouted orders over the shriek of dart guns. They were moving on her position. It was time to move. How fast could she do it with her handicap? It was time to find out.

The young wizard dodged out from behind the pillar, running in zig-zag pattern. She was slow. She knew she was slow. Fortunately her assailants were a touch slower. Though darts ripped her cape, she reached the concealment of the roulette table. That was rather dubious protection. Darts tore through the flimsy wood as if it wasn't there, barely missing the wood nymph wonder as she crouched there. She needed to take these guys down before someone she cared about got hurt. Like her.

Just like that, she was up and moving again, fixing in her mind where the shooters were this time. She slid to a stop behind a craps table, stood up and hurled two more darts. She didn't wait to see the results. In spite of the pain, she kept running. At the last possible second, she dove behind a metal buffet counter to the accompaniment of swarms of steel darts slamming into the metal partition. Her ears were ringing, and she found herself gritting her teeth against the pain in her leg as the lead hitman snarled, "get that bitch!" _Shit, daddy,_ she thought. _If this is your life, you can fucking have it!_

The thugs were circling around the buffet counter, angling for a shot when one of the aging gangsters they'd taken prisoner lunged for a negligent guard's weapon. Time seemed to slow down for Star. The flanker on her right turned and shot the old man. Star blasted the guy on her left with a lightning bolt. Then she up and started hauling butt again. The lead thug had been waiting for that. He leveled the massive gun in his hands, drew a bead, and let fly. Being mostly show and completely unfamiliar with firearms, he failed to lead the target, which ended up saving the wizard girl's life. The concussion blast burst behind her, lifting her off her feet, and flinging her through the air. The wizard landed in a heap and lay gasping for breath.

The thug laughed. As his injured victim wheezed and moaned, he laughed and laughed and laughed. He seemed to think her pain was knee-slapping funny, which made Star want to run his balls through the shredder. Finally he subsided into titters of amusement. _Gotta' move, Star,_ the wizard told herself. Now that she wasn't _funny_ anymore, they'd be moving on to doing her in. Sure enough, the lead thug asked his minion, "you killing this twat or what?"

Finn the Human announced, "I... don't really like dudes calling my kid that..." The startled hitman whirled around and leveled his gun at the big man. The room exploded into violence then. As the hitman squeezed the trigger on his weapon, a glowing disc sprang into existence, reflecting the blast back at him. The explosive force snapped and crushed the yellow-skinned thug's bones and flung him across the room. The thug who'd been about to shoot Star suddenly froze solid.

Three men charged Billy, swinging blades and clubs. Ducking one clumsy thrust, Billy drove an ice-encapsulated fist through the man's ribcage before shooting daggers of ice into his pal's eyes. The last humanoid skidded to a stop only to have both feet pierced by shards of ice. Transfixed, the hitman screamed as the ice slowly worked its way up his body. Billy casually brushed past the frozen thug, snapping his body at the knees and sending him toppling. When he reached Star's side, he found her gamely gathering herself to her feet, looking a little worse for wear. The big man reached out, levered his little sister to her feet, and hugged her tight.

Just then, a tremendous explosion rang out. Finn, who'd just snapped the arms of the sole remaining thug, swung his head back and forth, trying to figure out what had just happened. Another explosion rang out and another. Were they bringing down the building?! Snatching out his phone, Finn called Thor, and the big man responded immediately. "The stairs," he said. "They just took out the stairs. Every way down is blocked." Finn growled curses. Billy asked, "elevators?" "Locked out, boss," Thor reminded him. "Only the princess can unlock 'em..."

Finn spent a long time thinking about this development. Their enemy was two steps ahead. They had been planning this a while. They _wanted_ him trapped up here. They were down below somewhere, likely headed for Bonnie's rented vault. "Turn the guards around," said Finn. Thor answered that with a puzzled, "Boss?" Calmly, Finn explained, "they out-thought us. They're either on their way to the vault or already there. Turn the guards inward. We can't let them leave, Thor." Voice gone thick with emotion–he _knew_ what that meant–the big man replied, "roger, boss. I'm on it."

Turning to his kids, Finn said, "we gotta get upstairs. We gotta get back in this thing..." He wanted to help the victims, but the fight took precedence. "I'll stay, daddy," said Star. "I'll be in position when you get the elevators working..." Her father's worry was plain on his face. Reaching out to touch his face, the young girl said, "we may only get one shot, daddy..." "Ok," said the big man. Then he and Billy headed for the stairs up to the penthouse.

Downstairs, Thor paced under the nervous gaze of Lieutenant Steel and his own men. They were cut off, and he had a pretty good idea where their enemies were right now. Question was what to do? Did he wait? If he waited, they might get the crown. Did he dare lead the troops inside? What if they got lost? There was a lot of space down there, and nobody up here knew the way. As he pondered that, more explosions announced they were running out of time. Steel shouted, "go! We'll play backstop!" Thor turned to his own men, took a deep breath, and said, "follow me!"

The mafioso followed their leader into the dark interior of the bunker-like vault, and at first it was just as their leader had feared. The place was a maze. He knew it was a maze because he'd accompanied a few shipments to be stored away here. He had been astonished at the time, and he'd only seen a small piece of the place. At the time, he'd thought the place was impregnable simply because nobody could really know where their target was stored. Not without insider information. The guards were fanatically loyal because their families were here in this place. Tell a soul what you knew, and the Princess would toss their bodies from the tower in retaliation. Now, as Thor came upon the evidence of the enemy's passage, he felt naive for thinking that. There had always been a way in. If you had the guts, there were plenty of ways in.

The enemy left a trail that even a blind man could follow. They left it in smashed doors, shattered locks, and slaughtered guards. That trail led steadily _down_ into the bowels of the earth below. It was almost as though they took great pride in killing anybody they came across. One man was found stabbed up with his guts hanging out his lacerated belly, but a slit throat had likely finished him. A second man seemed to have been shot in the chest and abdomen, but they'd double-tapped him in the head to seal the deal. The only good news was that these men were whole. There were no hideous mummies or half-dissolved corpses. Thor knew his men couldn't stand against that. He wasn't sure who could have. Fortunately, the fact that all the victims they passed on their way down seemed to have died rather conventional–if _ugly_ –deaths calmed his fears some.

The trail came to an abrupt end at the very bottom of the underground vaults. Thor and his men found themselves staring into a rather unassuming space a hundred feet wide by eighty. Around the perimeter stood a series of ornate, gold-plated doors that looked to be the fabled Vaults of the Crown. Every important Royal on Ooo held one of those vaults. They were intended as _gifts_ from the Mafia Princess to her fellow Monarchs. Anything could be stored there, and she would guard it as if it were her own property.

Of course those vaults were also leverage, and she could easily break in and use those nameless secrets against their owners. It was a hedge against the other Royals suddenly developing pangs of conscience and deciding to sanction her. Which vault was their goal? That would be the open one on the far end. What was their opposition? The twenty guys milling around in that space.

They were an eclectic crew, armed with staff and club, sword and axe. Some came equipped with that wretched new (re)invention, the gun. All looked as though they had long ago sold soul and heart. The look of them gave Thor the willies, and he could hear a couple of his men whispering about just how creeped-out _they_ felt. In point of fact, _nobody_ wanted any part of this little battle, at least nobody on Thor's side did. They were thieves. They were grifters. A couple might have been killers, but they weren't fighting men. But nearly all of them were _family_ men, and there were some lines even bad men didn't cross. They had to win this. "Put the weapons down, fellas," said Thor. "The Cupola doesn't sanction this." The first of the men began to move forward. "Aw, shit," said the big man, and then the fight was on.

Upstairs, Bonnie had adopted Cherry's pose. She was pacing. She was pacing and fretting and worrying. The whole thing had come apart when it seemed like they had all the cards. They'd found out about the coming attack early enough to take steps. They'd gotten the place surrounded. Why hadn't they seen this coming? Why hadn't _she_ seen this coming? "You ain't as smart as you think, goil," laughed Mafia Princess. "If that boy wadn't as loyal t'you as he is, you'd be pushin' up daisies." Bonnie blushed to her hair. She knew just how close Cherry had gotten, and she liked the reminder not at all.

"How amusing," announced a sinister voice. Both women looked up. There was a figure there in the darkness, seeming to stand just out of the light. Bonnie felt a shiver of fear go up her spine. "Who the fuck are you," demanded the Mafia Princess?! "Who," the figure responded? "Who doesn't matter. I'm here to deliver a message." Bonnie thought they weren't going to like that message. "The source needs you to die," the creature hissed, as it glided forward. As the thing came into the light, Bonnie realized that it was a creature just like the one that had nearly killed Finn. Her hand dove for her pocket, as the creature stopped before her colleague. "You know too much," said the creature.

"Yeah, yeah," snarled the old woman. She pressed a button on her couch, causing weapons to drop from the ceiling. Remote-controlled dart-guns sprayed the area in front of her couch with dart fire. Unfortunately the creature was rather stubbornly resistant to gunfire. As Bonnie looked on in horror, the creature reached out with one slimy, black hand and grabbed the old woman by her head. The scream was hideous. Glob did she scream. Bonnie took that moment to make herself scarce. She wasn't sure if her weapon would work, but standing there and trading blows seemed like a really fatal idea.

Downstairs, Thor was in his element. Twin Runeswords flashing, he twisted and turned, cutting down the enemy with skill that his ancestors would have been proud of. Where those swords struck, limbs came off and heads rolled. Indeed, his men were every bit the equal of the random thugs there in that chamber, and might well have been _more_ equal. After all, the men of Warrior Kingdom had a history with warfare and conquest. What did these nameless mutant dogs have? Twisting to his left, he dodged the burst of fire from a dart-gun. His friend sank a throwing-axe into its owner from behind, causing him to fall, screaming to his knees. Thor lopped off his head and kicked the leering noggin into a corner.

As a second gunman tried for his friend, Thor hurled one of his rune-blades, skewering the fool and nailing him to a wall before chopping down a man with twin clubs in his hands. It was a bloody, _chaotic_ scene, but the wildmen from Warrior Kingdom slowly got the upper hand. One by one the masterless murderers met their fates. With Thor in the forefront, they cut their way through the lot. As they were coming down to the last handful, the vengeful Vikings surrounded them and hemmed them in there in the center of the vault's antechamber.

Thor, who'd been keeping careful track of just who they had here, asked, "who's in charge?" And that was when a blast of icy cold enveloped the room. That icy chill raced outward from the open vault door. Screams rang out and were just as quickly silenced as men were encapsulated or entombed in ice–frozen in the blink of an eye. Thor caught the briefest of glimpses of the figure there in the doorway before he was forced to dodge aside. The figure didn't seem to really care though. Walking through the flash-frozen corpses there in the room, the Ice-Tiara's new owner strode out the door as if going on a stroll, showing no more concern for the troops that had fought for her than the ones who'd fought against.

Back upstairs, Bonnie was playing a cat-and-mouse game with the creature that had just slain her colleague. The darkened room definitely played against her, making it hard to pick out the creature. She had yet to score a hit on the thing. It was the very definition of slippery, using the darkness to its advantage as it tried to do her in as well. She had one bit of good fortune on her side. She preferred synthetics for her working attire. The one time the thing had managed to touch her arm, it couldn't reach her skin through the synthetic cloth of her sleeve. It had been a terrifying close call, but a valuable insight. Its decaying touch was nothing against materials that would never decay.

The tall princess was trying to get to the door. If she could get to the door, she could get out of this death-trap. Step by step, she made her way through that nightmarish place. If the deadly creature stalking her weren't bad enough, she was feeling her way around fiendish traps left by the deceased Royal in the center of the space. A part of her wished she had sent P-Bot in her place. Her surrogate would be a little inconvenienced if the creature dissolved the artificial candy-flesh on her alloy bones, but P-Bot would have survived this just fine.

As she approached the door, a voice called out to her from the other side. It was Cherry. "Glob, Bonnie," shouted the crime-boss! "Open the flippin' door!" A thrill went through the candy monarch. An ugly piece of her wished that bitch would come in here and get dissolved. At the same time, she wouldn't have wished Brianna's fate on _anybody_. As she tried to decide what to do, the decision sort of got made for her. The door opened all on its own, admitting a stream of light. Bonnie knew that the creature would have had to open the door. She wasn't anywhere near the controls. As she shouted a warning, the hideous monster lunged for her enemy.

A startled Cherry swung wildly with the handiest thing–an ugly stuffed dog that had stood near the entry. The blow deflected the creature's strike, while at the same time dissolving the remnant of the dog. Cherry ran like hell itself pursued her, nearly running straight into a trap. Bonnie, who'd been debating intervention, was dismayed to see the door shut behind Cherry, sealing them _both_ in with the monster. "It's over," growled the creature. "I control the door. You can't get away." "W-what the hell is that thing," stammered Cherry? Bonnie replied, "it's one of those muck creatures." She was moving. "Brianna's dead," said the Princess. "That thing came in here and killed her." Cherry realized that she probably ought to move too.

Slipping away from her place, she said, "they have control of the elevators. I think we're going to have to go out the window." "Can you fly," the evil creature teased? "I don't think either of you has wings..." It was also moving, and Bonnie was having trouble figuring out just where it was. "Mmmm," moaned the awful monster. "Just let me taste you... It only hurts for a little while..." Cherry dodged aside as the thing pounced at where she'd just been standing. She immediately triggered a nasty trap, causing a massive pile of Mafia Princess's knick-knacks to come tumbling down. Dodging aside again, she just missed being crushed as the pile of stuff clattered down on top of the creature.

Cherry rushed across the room, very nearly triggering another trap. Behind her, she could hear the monster fighting its way free of the pile of junk that had fallen. "You're going to die," the creature said. "You're going to die anyway. Life is finite. That's the way it is. Just let it end here." "Got a son to raise," growled Cherry. Just then she heard the sounds of something hard thumping against the heavy door. _Finn,_ she thought. "Finn," howled Bonnie! "Finn, we're trapped in here with one of those monsters!" The pace and fury of the strikes against the door grew volubly. "We nearly got him once," the creature chuckled. "Maybe he won't be so lucky this time..."

They could hear the sounds of the door coming down. Finally the whole thing tumbled inward–frozen and shattered by the combined might of Ooo's two mightiest heroes. Finn flicked on the light attacked to his belt, scanning this way and that. "Careful, dad," said Billy. "Breezy was kinda' mad at you last time." Finn couldn't help a chuckle. Yes, she was. Fortunately, he had a plan. "Ice-mirrors," said he. Billy glanced at him in puzzlement. "Let the light in, son," said the older man. Grinning, Billy concentrated. Momentarily, there thin pillars of ice forming throughout the room. The pillars captured the light from the entry, sending it cascading through the room. The young man kept going, scattering pillars throughout the room until every inch was covered.

The two men scanned the room, finding two terrified faces on one side of the apartment. "Dad," shouted Billy. Finn glance to the other side of the room in time to see the sludge-creature disappear down Mafia Princess's kitchen sink. "Fuck," growled Finn, as he rushed towards the sink. The Finn-Sword made quick work of the sink, but the creature was already gone, flowing down towards the sewers. As he turned to shout orders at his son, Bonnie and Cherry rushed up and threw themselves on him. With two women who were _not_ his wives clinging to him like that, while they cried and cried into his shirt, it was about as embarrassing a scene as you could get. Between chuckles, Billy said, "I'm'a see if I can get the elevators moving." Turning from industriously crying on Finn's shirt, Cherry said, "they're sabotaged. After Mafia Princess activated her private elevator to send guards down to the casino, they got into the system somehow." Nodding, Billy said, "I'll see what I can do."

Star was in the middle of trying to get the shattered stairways emptied when the elevators started working again. By now, her father had found out that they'd lost contact with Thor. Issuing orders under Cherry's name, he sent the remaining guards down the Mafia Princess's private elevator under Star's command. Star, who'd been focused firstly on staying alive and then on protecting the survivors in the casino, found herself afflicted by a surprising fear. She was afraid for the big palooka. Honestly, did she admit it, she'd grown a little fond of him, and she was afraid that he'd gotten in too deep down in the under levels.

Riding the elevator down into the very bottom of the shattered palace, the young wizard was on pins and needles wondering what she would find. That helped the nervous guards not at all. They'd lost their home, their boss, and their livelihoods all in one day. A bunch of random strangers had somehow managed to strike in the heart of the citadel and just run them around like they were a bunch of punks. And what were they going to do now? Their master was dead. She'd lived in this place for over a thousand years, and now she was dead. And what were they going to run into down in the dungeons? Another hit team?

The ride down to the bottommost sublevel of the vast palace-tower gave Star plenty of time to think and strategize and even a little time to think about where she was going with her life. For the first, she would use these men's skills to advance–just like the dudes up in the casino had tried it. She was under no illusions about what would happen should they run into somebody wielding the Ice Tiara, but that would at least buy her a chance at fighting back effectively. For the second, she was seriously starting to think that maybe there wasn't really anything wrong with Thor beyond her own fears. A girl could do worse.

There were no enemies to greet them when they stepped off that elevator. There was plenty of sign that they'd been here. There was sign that they'd been loyal little casino gamblers before suddenly changing their stars. Chips, dice, and scattered bits of food and drink were strewn about. And there were the corpses. The hit team had played for keeps down here. They came badly mutilated, and they came utterly savaged as if the fiendish lord of the Night-O-Sphere had tortured them before putting them to death. But there was no sign of the enemy right now.

Shoving past the phalanx of guards in front of her, the young wizard gave them orders to start searching for an exit. The enemy hadn't gone out through the main entry. They would have heard from Lieutenenat Steel if the enemy had, and it was clear to Star they weren't down here. Knowing that her would-be boyfriend was somewhere in that darkness, Star conjured a glowing globe of light and went striding off to the Vaults of the Crown.

The Vaults weren't very hard to find. The trail of trash–and corpses–lead straight there. Striding into to the vault like a boss, weapons at the ready, the wood-nymph scanned the scene, finding that inside was just as devastated as the outside had been. There were frozen corpses _everywhere_ , with some looking as though they'd been chopped to bits _before_ the sudden deep-freeze. _Too late,_ she thought. The enemy had already come and gone.

As she stood in the doorway, seeming to be mesmerized, a faint voice called out to her, causing her head to whip around. The warrior stared back at the wizard, his face lined with agony. His left arm had been frozen from fingtertip to shoulder, and he was desperately trying to keep it from simply breaking off. Star's sharp intake of breath told him all he needed to know. He was a dead man. He'd survived his friends' deaths, but he was very likely to lose his arm, and, wretched as conditions were down here in this pit, nobody would be able to save him.

He was just like Star's father and brother–trying to hang tough while gamely pretending he wasn't in terrible pain. Star stepped up to him, hips swaying gently, her blue-green eyes fixed on his. He couldn't have told you what she was thinking. Her face was closed, and she was still Most Beautiful. Stopping before him, she stared down into his eyes. "My grandad used to do this," she said. "A lot. He would get mad at people and freeze them solid. He even did my dad and uncle a few times..." Thor stared up at her with his heart pounding and his face showing hope. "Gramps never really killed anybody...," Star explained. "He always thawed them out. There's a trick to it. One of my moms showed me how..."

Reaching out, she grasped his frozen arm near the shoulder as her eyes began to glow. It began as a strange tingling in his brain. Then, before his eyes, he could see the ice melting. As it melted, he saw the skin begin to heal, and he could feel the pain fade like water draining from a bucket. When she let him go, he grasped his now-healthy arm in shocked delight, and tears welled up in his eyes. Though she still wore that stern look, a bemused smile played across her lips. That smile spoke to him. Kneeling before her, he put his face against her thigh in worship. Star ran her fingers through his short locks.

"What do you offer me," she breathed? "All that I am," he swore. "All that I'll ever be." Her beautiful face cracked in a smile as she said, "I think that's payment enough." Turning on her heel, she said, "come along, Thor. We need to make a report to daddy." Retrieving his other sword, the big man rushed after her, following that wiggling butt back to the elevator.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27:

It had been two days since the gang had hit the Grand Vault and stolen the Ice Tiara. Two days without sleep for Finn, Billy, Star, and Thor. They had been scouring the Candy Kingdom trying to pick up some kind of trail–between doing damage control here. News of the raid was spreading, and there were all kinds of nervous people showing up to either check up on their stuff.

Or to steal others' stuff.

That made efforts to find clues more urgent and more difficult. Billy had frozen one ass who'd slipped in as a hotel guest and started rooting around in the sub-levels. So now they were denying entry to any and every one who didn't have their name on the Mafia Princess's Ledger. Finn was seriously tempted to empty the place, and Cherry was tempted to let him. Bonnie was sort of in the way on that front. She was on the ragged edge of arresting everyone in the place and interrogating them all. The two women had fought over that. They'd fought until Finn got fed up and told them to stop before he took a belt to their bottoms. They were cooperating now. In spite of mutual hatred, they were cooperating.

With a little mediating from Star, they had even come to a compromise. Cherry had gone to the residents and given them a choice–free cooperation or handover to the Banana Guard. Anybody who talked got to stay on in their suite. They would be immune to prosecution by Princess Bubblegum. That had helped them isolate the list of rogue _guests_ and start the process of figuring out how and when they got in. It was progress, but Finn was still anxious. He wanted to get the Ice Tiara back. He was terrified of what might happen to Simone with it out there in unfriendly hands.

It didn't take much for his mind to wander back to his ultimate doomsday scenario–Simone with that fucking crown on her head, cackling like a madwoman. He'd be in the middle of some intense dialogue one minute. The next his mind was out in Wizard City with his wife. Cherry could sense the distraction. They had been talking about where Van would go to school. It was a chance to be parents–and lovers–instead of the Captain of the Guard and the Boss of Bosses. Cherry had an exclusive school in mind, and she'd been explaining it to Finn. Now as she found him spaced out and oblivious to every word she spoke, she rose and said, "we should get back to work, honey..." Guiltily, Finn glanced up to find understanding in her eyes. Gone was the spiteful bitch who wanted Simone and E dead. Finn would have kissed her, but a coughing-fit put paid to that idea. Sternly, she said, "get that cough seen to, honey..." "Yes, dear," he wheezed as he headed for the door.

Outside, he was surprised to find his son waiting on him. Knowing that the younger man may well have heard the words he'd just exchanged with Cherry, he found himself blushing, but Billy wasn't interested in throwing stones. He understood the situation his dad was in. In some ways it was funny. He'd taken Ragnhild out of the pack of thirsty princesses chasing his dad, but there were plenty waiting to take her place, including the one who sent him. "Bonnie wants you," said the younger man. Finn motioned for him to lead on. As they walked, Billy opined, "she's right, dad... You should go see Dr. P. We can't afford for you to be laid up in the hospital with pneumonia..." Finn promised he would.

Bonnie was holding court one floor down. The Princess and the Boss of Bosses were speaking, but they were still feuding. The two men found Bonnie looking over a document while a set of blueprints lay on the table before her. As Finn approached, he scanned the pages on the table. It looked a lot like the machine he'd seen in Froyo Kingdom. "Is that...," he started to ask? "Ragnhild sent these. They were found in an abandoned building six blocks from that warehouse..." Glancing up, Finn asked, "do we know...?" With a heavy sigh, Bonnie admitted, "no, Finn. I have a manifest, and there appears to be parts missing. I'm cautiously optimistic that our foe was unsuccessful in securing the Lich's Id. It's looking like they never got the machine finished, but I want to see the parts just to be sure..." Finn nodded. She was right. They couldn't leave anything to chance here.

Changing the subject, the candy Royal said, "I'm thinking of leaving Cherry in charge here... I have to make a report to the other Royals. I need to know, Finn. Can I trust her, here..." Finn replied, "she's in this too, PB. Besides that, her dudes told her she had to quit makin' trouble..." "Alright, Finn," said the pretty princess. "I'll be leaving Star here to continue the investigation on my behalf. Bill? I need you to investigate the problem with the machinery shipment." She was tired of waiting.

"I'll get on it right away," Billy promised. "Leave tonight," Bonnie replied. Billy excused himself to go pack, leaving Finn alone with Bonnie. "You need to go see Dr. Princess, Finn," said the princess. "You sound like you've got the beginnings of pneumonia." "Ok, Peebles," said Finn. Bonnie wasn't having any of that. "I'm not scolding you, ya big dummy," she said. "Yeah," said Finn, "you are... but I'm ok with that..." That made her laugh. Finn joined her until the coughing got too bad.

More seriously, Bonnie said, "Cherry's summoned the Cupola..." At Finn's frown, she explained, "it's the Council of Crime Bosses, Finn. I'm... I'm thinking of attending." "You should, PB," said Finn. "We... we need to get a handle on... stuff..." "Ok," said Bonnie as she blew out a relieved breath. Smiling, Finn admitted, "I used to get sore about stuff you did sometimes, PB... but sometimes we all gotta' do stuff that's not nice..." Bonnie blew him a kiss and admonished him to get to the doctor's. Smiling back, Finn headed out.

Once outside, the big man jumped into the truck and headed for home. It was a beautiful day, and Finn drove with the windows down. He felt a strange sense of euphoria. A lot of that stemmed from the fact that Peebles and Cherry were getting along. Kind of. It gave him a little hope that somehow he could get control of this and avoid hurting everybody. He found himself daydreaming about that on his way to the capitol. It even gave him a hope of being able to tell people Boniface, Shoko, and Marshall were his kids.

By the time he had reached the Candy Clinic, he had almost dredged up the courage to bring this crazy mess out in the open. Unfortunately the girls–all six of them–were scattered to the four winds. He _might_ see Lollipop tonight. Maybe. He wasn't sure that was a good idea under the circumstances. He knew he was pretty sick, and Van's body was still developing and recovering from being born preemie. The big man shuddered to think about what would happen to his little boy if he caught whatever bug Finn had at the moment.

Inside the clinic, he found Dr. Princess already waiting on him. She was always busy these days, and he'd expected to have to wait for the chance to see her. Seeming to guess where his mind was going, the tall doctor announced, "Princess Bubblegum phoned ahead, though we were half afraid I'd have to hunt you down..." Finn blushed. After last time, he just came and took his medicine like a man. Mostly he didn't notice the scar anymore.

The doctor and her nurse ushered Finn into the exam room where he got out of his weapons, armor, and shirt. Drew Princess waited patiently, while the nurse just _stared_ at all the shit he took off. "She's new," explained the sexy doctor. When he was done shedding eighty pounds of junk, the big man got up on the exam table and waited. Drew bustled around, putting on a mask and gathering up her stethoscope. Pressing it against his chest, she made him take a series of deep breaths before moving around behind him to do much the same thing. The nurse took his other vital signs while the doctor continued to listen intently to his back.

While she worked, Finn gave vent to a bout of wracking coughs. She made him spit the nasty, yellow-green goop that came up into a container that she sent off with the nurse. Meanwhile, she took him down the hall to another room where she ran another series of tests. The two kept up a steady chatter of conversation. Finn had gotten to see his doctor on an almost weekly basis in the early going with Billy, Fionna, and Star. Later, as the kids grew and got stronger and healthier, he saw her less and less. Now, with Van in the picture, they were seeing each other a bit more, but, more often than not, Lollipop and Star were bringing Van here.

He'd had kind of the hots for Dr. P when he was younger, and he was hardly surprised to find her still so beautiful. "So where's the hot date tonight," he asked? She was wearing a sexy little black dress under her lab coat. Blushing to her chocolate brown pigtails, the beautiful doctor babbled, "not exactly a date..." "Girls night out," asked Finn? He was familiar with that. Simone and E would sometimes go out in the early days, and he'd stay with the kids. Sometimes Jake would come over and the two of them would entertain the trio for hours while Finn's wives painted the town red. Literally one night when E got hammered and started casting color cantrips on everything in sight. He shuddered to think about how expensive it had been to pay for all the damage.

Glancing away, the pretty doctor said, "screening candidates, if you must know." "Candidates," the big man asked? Clearly puzzled, he waited for her to explain. With a heavy sigh, Drew admitted, "well, Finn... I... I never really met Mr. Right. I... didn't get settled. I played the field too long, and now I'm... Well, my biological clock is ticking." "Clock," burbled a baffled Finn? Blowing out a breath, she said, "I'm a lot older than you, sweetie. I'm... In a few years, I won't be able to have children anymore. This is... It's kinda' my last chance. I'm... I'm looking for a guy to... uh... do the deed."

Finn now blushed himself. That was kind of heavy. He hadn't intended to open that can of worms. Grinning, Drew said, "don't you worry, Finn. I'm not going to start putting the moves on you..." Finn's blush deepened. There were plenty of _unmarried_ candidates. Finn said, "well... If things get too tough... There's always the way Marcy did it." Drew blushed to her hair again. Was he offering?! "Uh, that didn't come out right," Finn rumbled, as he realized what he'd just said. "I know, sweetie," chuckled Drew. "I helped with the procedure." Finn goggled at her. He hadn't known that. With a sigh, she brushed his face with her fingers and said, "they swore me to secrecy, Finn. Royal Promise." "Oh," he mumbled. "That explains a lot."

Changing the subject, the good doctor said, "you have a mild case of pneumonia, Finn." He sat up now. That was important news with a capital I. Strolling over to the counter–she still had a sexy walk–Dr. P rummaged inside one of the cabinets and came up with a small packet. Coming back across the room–looking dynamite in that dress–the beautiful doctor handed him the packet and said, "one of those with dinner. Every night. Take them all. Understand?"

Finn nodded emphatically. Dr. P had a mean right hook. It really sucked to have your doctor kick your ass. You didn't get to lie and say you got all the cuts and scrapes from some cool adventure. Climbing down off the exam table, Finn gave the doctor a hug and said, "good luck. I... I hope you find somebody good, Dr. P." He was a sweet, sweet man, and she kissed his cheek for answer. Grinning, he said, "you're the only person who's been willing to get near me all day." "Vaccinated, dear," she said. "Now out with you." With a grin, Finn got on his way.

He got back in his truck and went straight home. Taking his time and just enjoying the day as he hadn't in so many months, the hero tried to stay focused on what was going right in his life instead of the worry over the Tiara and his wife. Rolling up on his home, he pulled into the driveway, his mind and heart sort of hoping that he might see one or another familiar vehicle. Unfortunately, he got his first real disappointment of the day. Neither Simone nor E's trucks were parked there. He didn't even see the low-slung car that Lollipop drove.

Parking his truck down at the end of the drive, he climbed up the shallow slope to his door, collecting the mail and the newspaper as he went. Just as expected, nobody came down to greet him when he got home. Climbing the stairs, reading through the family bills as he went, the big man arrived in the kitchen to find the place dark and empty. It was a lot like the days before Simone showed up on his doorstep–when Jake had gone to live with Lady, and he was here by himself. The only sign that anybody else lived here was the note on the kitchen table.

Laying the bills down, he picked up the note and began to read. The fine script there told him Lollipop had left it for him, and he found himself thinking of her as he read it. "Dear Finn," the letter began. "Dr. Princess called to let me know that you've come down with pneumonia. Sorry, babe. I couldn't take the risk that Van would get it, so we're over at my place. Food's in the fridge. Call if you need something, and I'll send somebody by." Finn winced. That kind of stung, even if he agreed with it. _Oh, well,_ he thought. _Haven't played Beemo in a while..._ Turning for their living room, he called out to his little buddy, "Beemo?! You here, pal?!"

The big man searched high and low, very nearly turning the house upside down for his friend. He didn't find the cute little video-game, but he did find another note. This one was written in the video-game-bot's precise-but-cramped style. "Finn," said the note, "I have gone to the annual Ooo World Cup. Back in one month. Beemo." "Aw, shit," growled the big man. "Now what."

As Finn was pondering what he was going to do until he was no longer contagious, Billy was boarding the train for the long, lonely trip into the wastelands. He was feeling the odd strains of melancholy just now as much because he was on the train, headed north as anything else. He was headed _toward_ Ragnhild, but he wouldn't get to see her. It was driving him a little nuts. Absence did indeed make the heart grow fonder, and, in spite of the danger their foe was creating, Billy was thankful every day that this had happened.

Rolling out of the station, he found himself texting his girl nonstop. There were a lot of plans to make. He'd sort of hinted to his dad on their way back to the Candy Kingdom that he was moving on, and Finn seemed ok with it. He'd be moving in with Ragnhild, working as her Guard Captain for a while. Likely they would have a couple kids of their own. Ragnhild's son from her previous marriage was only three. Billy could still be a father figure to him, which was another reason to be excited. He wanted to be a dad–was almost desperate for it. The two chatted about every odd and end he could think of until the train was too far out in the wasteland to get a signal.

Meanwhile, in Death's Kingdom, Marceline and the crew were getting an introduction to their new coworker. "Evening, peeps," announced the old man. "I'd like to introduce your newest coworker. This is Brianna. She's going to be with us for the next two-hundred-thousand years..." A stunned Marceline sprayed rancid blood out her nose. "Who the fuck did you piss off," she howled?! "Now, now, Marceline," the old man interrupted. "We don't use those words here, and Brianna is probably already feeling self-conscious..."

Marceline gave the jailer a sheepish grin. Strolling over, she gave the pretty woman a smile and a welcoming handshake. Brianna was a bewitching beauty in the Italian mold, with olive skin, dark eyes, and hair like obsidian thread. Those dark eyes regarded the fallen Vampire Queen with suspicion. "Back to work, everyone," said their overlord. Brianna watched him go. When the old man had disappeared from view, she turned to the teen and demanded, "what is this place?" "Italian, right," asked Marceline? "Sicilian," retorted Brianna. "How'd you know?" As far as she knew, Sicily was a thousand years gone.

Hefting a pickaxe, Marceline said, "there's only a handful of people on Ooo who could be old enough to remember the old countries before the bombs fell..." The suspicious woman growled, "and which one are _you_?" "Marceline, the Vampire Queen," said Marcy, "at your service..." The former Mafia Princess scowled at her. This was bubblegum bitch's friend! "Pick up a tool," said Marcy. "You're gonna' be here a while..." As Brianna watched in dismay, the vampire tried to smash a rock–which dodged aside. "Jeezus," she howled, as the rock nearly bowled her over. "What is this place," asked the former crime boss. "You'd know it as Purgatory," Marceline replied. "You croaked. Now you're stuck here like all these other losers. At least until Glob decides you've had enough."

The vampire took a swing at another rock, missing cleanly. All around them, people were swinging at rocks with limited success. "Trials of Sisyphus," babbled Brianna! "Who," mumbled Marceline? "He was a dude pissed off the gods and ended up rolling a rock up a hill for eternity," Brianna stammered. Nodding at the foreman's shack, Marcy said, "probably him there..." Moving on, the former crime boss said, "you talk like you're not part of this..." With a shrug, Marceline replied, "Death wants me to go to work for him. He's trying to hold me here until I give in. I'm undead, remember?" Unlike the run of people there in the quarry. "So there's a way out of here," Brianna murmured. "I didn't say that," retorted Marceline. But it was clear that the crime boss was going to believe what she wanted to believe.

The two women went to work trying to smash their way through rocks with patchy success. "So how'd you get here," asked the Vampire? "Body finally give up the ghost?" "Your fuckin' friends," snarled Brianna! She was mad enough to chew nails. "Uh-uh," said Marcy. "What," growled the deceased crime-lord? "You don't believe me?" "Nah," said Marcy. "I believe you. Finn's got that _charm_. It's just that swearing adds a month to your sentence. One for every word you utter. You got a lot of time already..." The crime-boss flushed. "Anyways," said Marcy, "how'd it happen?" "Your cu... your _friend_ , Princess Bubblegum, hid some damn crown in my vault," said the fallen crimelord. "Fu... one o'my subordinates wanted it... Bitch stabbed me in the back to get it." Alarmed, Marceline shouted, "you let somebody get the Ice Tiara?!"

Dropping the pickaxe, the fallen vampire began to stomp about in a state of panic. Things were going to hell in a handbasket up there! What was she going to do now? First some idiot tries to free the Lich. Now someone was messing with the Ice Tiara! She had go get out of here before things got worse! As she stood there, wavering between anger and despair, a voice from the darkest depths of her mind whispered, _take the offer. It's only a few souls._


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28:

"Hi, Finn," announced Phoebe. Finn was a little surprised to find his ex-girlfriend standing on his doorstep. He would have thought that Simone would have told her best friend that she was going to Wizard City. "Uh, Simone's in Wiz City," said he. "She's not due back for a week at least." With a sweet smile, the elemental replied, "can't I stop by and see you, Finn?" Blushing, Finn nonetheless stood aside. Phoebe brushed past, carrying a handbag of all things, and Finn found himself following her up the stairs, doing his damndest not to be mesmerized by that wiggling ass. Instead, he focused on her hair, which was down today, hanging loose to just below her shoulder-blades.

Try as he might, though, after watching the sensual sway of Phoebe's big bottom, he had a hard-on that wouldn't quit, and he had to jam his hands down his front pockets to hide it. Standing at the top of the stairs, he watched as she strolled into the kitchen, dropping the bag on the kitchen table. That was new. He couldn't recall Phoebes ever carrying a purse, and this bag reminded him of the heavy bag Simone used to carry when she was wrangling three kids at once.

Phoebe took a pot from the rack beside the stove and put it on the cooktop. Humming to herself, she opened the stove and lit the fuel inside with a quick burst of flame. As Finn watched, she tore open a glass packet and poured the contents into the pot and began stirring. "Sooo," said Finn, "how goes it?" Grinning at him over her shoulder, the mesmerizing torch replied, "it's going great, Finn." She sounded so... _cheery_. She was atypically cheerful. Since their breakup and her takeover of the Fire Kingdom, she'd become very serious, and it was rare to hear her laughing.

Now Phoebe took up one of the visitor cups and poured the contents of the pot into the cup, while Finn wracked his brain for something to say that wasn't completely stupid. He often got tongue-tied around Phoebe, and it caused him to say stupid things. Mostly she put up with it, but he'd resolved to do his best not to hurt her feelings. For want of a better idea, Finn asked, "so... How's CB doing?" With a heavy-hearted sigh, Phoebe replied, "we broke up a couple months ago." Finn's head whipped around, and he stammered condolences. In a sorrowful voice, the elemental woman admitted, "it just wasn't working anymore, Finn... I... I can't live that life anymore. The whole platonic worship thing... sucks. Hard." "I-I'm sorry, Phoebes," whispered Finn. "I wish there was something I could do..." He still loved her. She could _hear_ it in his voice. That made it much easier to manage this.

Shaking off the mood, Phoebe said, "I'm gonna' be ok, Finn..." She raised the cup to her lips and took a deep draught of it. "What's that," asked the hero? "Tea," she answered. Finn gave her a puzzled, " _tea_?" "It's not tea like you'd drink," Phoebe chuckled. "Obviously I couldn't use water." Walking up to him, she tipped the cup up so he could look in. What she had in her cup was some kind of semi-molten sludge.

"Surprised you still drink it after...," murmured Finn. Phoebe chuckled. He wasn't the only one to remember the day her handmaiden poisoned her. The elemental woman was still smiling as she approached Finn. "Funny you should mention that," said the sexy bonfire. Holding up the cup, she said, "my doctor was able to turn the poison into a medicine..." Finn goggled. He hadn't known there was medicine for elementals! Chuckling, Phoebe told him, "there is..." Though she said nothing to enlighten him on what she needed medicine _for_.

Done with her tea, Phoebe put the cup on the counter and moved over to the fridge. "Uh," said he. "What're you doing?" "Well," she said, "I heard you were sick, Finn. Since nobody else wanted to look in on you, I decided to do it. I'm'a make you something to eat." Finn opened his mouth to protest, but shut it again after remembering how hurt she'd been when he tried to turn down the rabbit she'd caught for him in the Fire Kingdom. He was a little afraid that she'd get hurt reaching into the ice-box, but she wanted to do this. Besides, he sort of liked the company.

Several hundred miles away across the wastelands, a pair of ice-blue eyes watched as the train to Frozen Yogurt Kingdom rolled out of the station, leaving a mere handful of figures standing there on the platform in the heart of the ancient railroad yard. The railyard was the definition of desolate, with blowing sand getting into everything, the merciless sun beating down from above, and an eerie, whistling wind howling through broken windows and underneath the broken frames of forgotten railcars. The Trans-Wasteland Railroad had gotten its start here when an intrepid explorer had found this place and managed to refurbish some of the old tracks. This strange, forgotten place was part of the lifeline that connected Frozen Yogurt Kingdom to the rest of Ooo. The folk of Froyo Kingdom and the people of Bonnie's Candy Kingdom jointly maintained this place, striking out in either direction to maintain the line and salvaging what they could from the forgotten civilization that had originally built this facility.

Desolate and creepy as the place was, Billy was grateful for it. It was a lifeline between home and the woman he'd somehow fallen in love with without really intending to. Standing on the crumbling platform, he stared off into the yard proper. Somewhere in there was the missing train with the equipment on it. It was late, though. After a day's travel, he was worn out, and he wanted nothing more than to lay his head down for a while. Turning away from the yard, he walked down the broken concrete, his feet ringing on pieces of scrap metal that had been bolted in place to cover the bigger cracks and pits in the pavement. There was a hotel room in town with his name on it.

The town was split into three parts with Bonnie's peeps keeping to the southwest corner, the Frozen Yogurt people in the north, and a vibrant mutant city in the middle. The mutants of the wastes were the most prolific part of town. They came in every shape, every color, and every size there was. All were engaged in one of two activities. Either they supported the efforts of the Railroad's builders, or they sold sustenance and vice to the men who did. Coming down the main drag, Billy searched out a good place to eat. Both the Candy People and the Froyo People maintained their own shops and their own places to eat here, and the big man decided that eating in one of their establishments was probably the safest course of action.

Striding up to a stand by the side of the road, he found a mustachioed meatball industriously cooking up candied yak with jelly-worm salsa. The waitress, a plump ice-cream cone with laughing blue eyes, was in front of him in a heartbeat. "What'll ya have, sweet-cheeks," she asked? Smiling back, Billy replied, "whatever it is that smells so good." Turning to the irascible cook, the plump woman said, "one special of the day!" "Special of the day," repeated the cook. "Got it." Turning back to the stranger, she said, "so what's got you in town, handsome." With a grin, Billy replied, "working." "Daddy send you up here," asked the waitress? Billy flushed, and he imagined that he should have assumed this woman would guess who he was. There weren't enough humans left on Ooo for that to be much of a mystery. Of course, that meant that maybe he could cut to the chase.

"What's going on," he asked? "See anything strange?" Frowning, the plump candy-person replied, "such as?" "Unusual things in town," he replied? "People who you haven't really seen before? Anything happening out at the rail yard?" Slapping the bell with his spatula, the cook announced, "special's up!" The ice-cream woman went across to the counter and picked up the dinner plate before returning to his side. She put the plate down in front of him and said, "folk around here keep t'themselves, Mr. Hero. I'd suggest maybe you do the same..." He might have asked 'or what' if he hadn't seen the look in the cook's eyes just then. _Yeah,_ he thought. _There's something going on, and it's got legs apparently._

With one eye on the crowd around him and one for his plate, he dug in. Watching the world go by, he took his time, as he pondered who else might know something and how deep the problem might be. The town, such as it was, wasn't on anybody's map. It belonged to neither Ragnhild nor Bonnie. It was the quintessential no-man's-land. Honestly, Billy wasn't really even sure if he had authority over the Mutant Quarter. He thought he had power to arrest and detain anybody here in the Candy Corner, and he was reasonably certain that Ragnhild wouldn't balk or bat an eye if he arrested one of hers. After all, she was looking at making him her Captain of the Guard anyway. Mutant Quarter might be a no-go area, though. If he was lucky, there was a local cop there that he could work with. If he was particularly unlucky, just asking questions over there could get him into a world of hurt. _One thing at a time, Bill,_ he thought. Right now, he needed to finish dinner and get some sleep.

Back in the Candy Kingdom, Finn the Human slid his plate back in a strange sort of self-conscious satisfaction. Dinner had been delicious and perfectly cooked besides–a far cry from the infamous _soup_ incident. Finn had experienced nightmares for _months_ after that. Of course having Phoebes _watch_ him eat was a little weird. He'd offered to get her some coal or something, but she'd turned it down. "Thanks, Phoebes," he murmured. "It was really good..."

The smiling elemental rose, saying, "I'm glad you liked it... When I heard you were sick, I wanted to make sure you were being taken care of..." Finn rose too. Not for the first time did he wish he could hug his ex. She was so nice when he'd kind of been an ass when they split up, and he just wanted to make her feel good. Strolling into the living room, Phoebe turned and said, "why don't we play Beemo?" Blushing–he'd been staring at her butt–Finn explained, "he went to watch World Cup. He won't be back for a month..." "Aww," said Phoebe. "All alone. Well, I guess we'll just talk..."

Finn followed his ex up to the couch and sat down. Taking the bitter pill doctor P gave him, he took a glass of water and slugged down his own medicine. "It's still a little crazy every time I see you do that," Phoebe said with a chuckle. With a grin, Finn took a mouthful of water and _gargled_ , like he did when they were young. Sitting perched on her chair, Phoebe howled laughter. She'd missed that. Swallowing the water, the big man thanked her for coming. He'd kind of had the blues.

"Oh," asked Phoebe? "What's wrong? Missing Simone and Emeraude...?" Finn flushed. Oddly enough, it wasn't that. He'd kind of made peace with them being gone so much. Simon was his friend and Simone's dad besides. Finn knew Simon needed Simone, and he understood E's need to protect her peeps. That was a big part of who she was. No, what was bothering him was his situation. He loved six women–and one crazy robot-girl besides–and he couldn't figure out how to break this up without breaking their hearts.

"I messed up, Phoebes."

It came out as a whisper, and not even _he_ was sure he'd said it. Then Phoebe stunned him by replying, "I know..." Finn found himself staring into her brilliant reddish eyes. There was no sign of anger. There wasn't any shouting. He might almost have believed he'd imagined that brief snippet of conversation. As he was pondering what to do, Phoebe stood, and, in one fluid motion, pounced on him. Momentarily he had a mouthful of Phoebe's near-scalding-hot tongue and a double-handful of her big, voluminous ass. It was like taking a big sip of E's hot maple coffee–painfully hot but sweet at the same time. While they kissed, Phoebe tore open his shirt and pawed his tender skin. Instead of burning him, it felt like a too-hot shower–soft against his skin but almost unpleasantly warm. And as his body got used to the heat, Finn found himself touching her back.

Putting her burning lips to his ear, Phoebe hissed, "I know what you did. I heard it through the furnace ducts..." As a thrill of stark terror tore through him, Phoebe was tearing at his pants. He was utterly terrified and terrifyingly turned on. What the fuck was she doing?! And how the fuck was she doing it? The world... It should be incinerated after a kiss like that! The world should have been reduced to a pile of ash, but Phoebe was already going further. She had her hand on his very-hard dick, stroking it through his boxer-briefs. "You have a flaw, Finn," she murmured, her scalding-hot forehead touching his. Her hair was like whips of iron-filaments that had been left in the desert sun all day. Stroking his cock, the Flame King kissed him again–enough to make him shoot off in her hand. Phoebe hissed in pain. And then she drew her injured hand up to her face and actually licked the molten flesh.

Finn just stared. He could think of nothing to do but _stare_ , wondering if he was actually dead. Had he been dreaming the last couple of weeks? Was he still in that bed in Froyo Kingdom? One of Marcy's ghost-friends had said she sometimes dreamed of the life she'd left behind. His hunger rose, as Phoebe reached up, touched the flame-red jewel at the join of her collarbones and whispered a word of command. And then she was stark flippin' naked on top of him, just like that day on the edge of the lava when his dad's ship went down. With a hiss of pain, the elemental woman pressed his fat pecker into her scalding-hot flesh and eased _down_.

Finn felt... like he was bathing in a roiling hot-spring. It was soft like the molten mud baths in Nadia's kindgom. And it was painfully hot. And it was so fucking good. Leaning down, Phoebe hissed, "you love too hard, honey. You love hard, and you can't seem to let go. You never let go." She had begun to ride him now. Finn was beside himself. It hurt, but it hurt so good. He reached up, grabbed her burning-hot hair, jerked her face to his and kissed her like he'd always wanted. Slipping an arm around her, he grabbed a handful of that hot ass and squeezed it hard as he could.

Her hands clawed at his back, her fingers leaving trails of fire against his skin. He pressed his face in against her heaving boobies and kissed and licked and sucked on them hard as he could, making her scream from the icy feeling of his kisses and the painful feel of his moist saliva on her precious knockers. "Possess me," she wailed! "Possess me, Finn!" The big man rolled the hot fire-girl on her back and began to rail her hard, his hips slapping into hers in rhythmic fashion, making the couch creak and jump and buck.

"Fuck me hard as you fucked Bonnie," the Flame King wailed! "Fuck me like Marceliiiiine!" Finn groaned as he felt her clench up on him. A terrified part of him feared that he would hurt her if he shot off. That was water-based too, wasn't it? "I wanna' feel it all," Phoebe wailed. "Do it, baby!" That was too much, and he knew it. One stroke. Two... And then he was shooting off like a geyser, feeling like he was giving her everything he had. Phoebe squealed and clutched at her stomach, then bit him so hard he saw stars.

Sitting up, pulling Phoebe with him, Finn sat back against the couch, cradling the elemental woman's painfully hot body against his own. His face was a study in conflict. In a small, worried voice, Phoebe asked, "didn't you like it?" Finn chuckled, "of course I liked it. I just... What gives, Phoebes? I-if you knew...?" Why hadn't she told Simone? Running her suddenly-solid fingers through his hair, Phoebe sighed, "because I knew why you were doing it, Finn. I... Simone messed up too, honey. She abandoned you. I... Maybe I don't understand because my dad was a turd, but she shouldn't have dumped you for her dad, Finn. That wasn't fair. And you've... You've done all you could to be faithful. There's half-a-hundred girls always trying you, and you've held on for twenty stinkin' years. When I dumped you for the first guy to come along and say nice stuff to me, it's kinda' hard to throw stones."

Blushing to his hair, Finn asked, "I kinda' have to ask. If I'm not dead or dreaming all this..." Phoebe chuckled and climbed off the couch. Butt wiggling, she went over to the kitchen and picked up the tea-cup she'd used. "The doctor was trying to find a way to help me with my... temper...," she said. "We got on the subject of the day my maid poisoned me. I still had the cup as a reminder, and he examined what was in it. He figured out how to synthesize... uh... that is mix up a weaker version of the potion." It almost made her laugh the way his eyes _still_ glazed over when someone used big words around him. Holding the cup out towards him, she said, "I've been on it six months. Life's never been better."

Wiggle-waggling towards him, showing off that amazing body, she said, "I discovered the side-effect by accident." Stopping in front of him, she said, "I was kinda' horny, babe. It sucks a lot when the best you can have is dreams because it's too dangerous to even jerk off. I... uh... I woke up from a dream where you kinda' did me that day by the side of the lava... I was horny out of my mind, and I just couldn't help it. Usually I have to stop just when it starts to feel good. This time... Well, nothing happened..." Blushing, she told him about having her first orgasm while thinking of him. Grinning, she added, "and the world didn't get blown up."

Finn glanced out the window, and she knew what he was thinking. Sitting down beside him, she lay her head on his shoulder and said, "it _had_ to be you, Finn." At his frown, she said, "I never stopped loving you. I... much as I love Simone, she had what I always wanted. And... Finn... after all you went through with me, you... deserved to be the one." He'd built her a home. He'd taken care of her and kept her dad at bay. Hell, he'd gone into the Fire Kingdom to get fucking candles for her! If that didn't say love, what did? "All you wanted was to touch me–just to be able to kiss me," sighed Phoebe. "It took me a while to see it, but that... That's what your dream was about, Finn. You wanted us to have a real life together. And I was so blinded by my temper..." Shaking herself, she said, "he understands. We're... We started out as friends, and that's mostly what we've been anyway."

Straightening, she kissed his cheek. Rising, she said, "I'm'a go have another cup of tea. Why don't you go take the sheets and blankets I brought upstairs?" Finn goggled at her. With a smirk, she said, "I thought I'd stay a few days and make sure you're alright. I'll be going to work, but it can't hurt to stay the night. I'm the one person you can't get sick." Finn flushed. There was one other person, but he wasn't stupid enough to mention her name. Seeing that he'd already been a fool with her once, he decided he had better go along to get along. Opening the bag she'd left at the kitchen table, he drew out the strange glass-fiber sheets she'd brought and headed for the stairs.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29:

The little wood nymph tottered there, looking as though she had run a marathon. She was clearly exhausted after days of being awake, and Cherry honestly wondered when the last time the bandages swaddling portions of her anatomy had gotten changed. Just now she was talking about the broken security cameras. The hit team's hacker had disabled every camera down in the vault. Of course, shortly thereafter he had bought it in the sudden ice-storm in the vault's ante-chamber. The hitters on the upper floor were dead-ends. They were no-name murderers and killers out of the southeast, near the sea, and the families that had been forced to bring them into the tower were all dead.

Cherry listened patiently, watching and observing both the wizard-girl and her would-be boyfriend. It came over her with the suddenness that comes from days of sleep deprivation and stark terror. She was stuttering over some words one minute. The next, she was toppling over. Thor caught her of course. He scooped her up like she was a toy–or the most precious treasure in the world. "Take my stepdaughter to her room and put her to bed, Thor," said the crime boss. "When you get back, we'll talk about what you saw." He nodded emphatically, as he turned to go. "And Thor...," said Cherry. He stopped right where he was. "Make sure that's _all_ you do," she said. He nodded just as emphatically as before, then rushed out the door. When he'd gone, the gangster turned back to the papers on her desk–the evidence she'd been gathering up. And what was she going to do with it? What did she tell the others?

Back in the grasslands outside the capitol, Finn's alarm clock signaled the start of a brand new day. Phoebe sighed softly as she woke from the best night's sleep she'd had. Ever. Yawning a little, she rolled over to face her old/new boyfriend. "Mmm, morning," she breathed. Finn's eyes came open, and she could still see the conflict there. Reaching up, she slipped her hands up on either side of his face. Softly, she murmured, "I'm sorry, babe... I-I know this isn't helping..." Which was the understatement of the year. He was in deep doo-doo. And far from making the whole drama bomb easier to manage, the fact that _some_ of the madwomen knew about _some_ of the others just made things worse because, in a twisted way, he was kinda' cheating on all of them.

She was right though. He had trouble letting go. He had a lot of emotional baggage with the whole pile of them, and he couldn't seem to let go. He couldn't imagine not having PB or Marcy–or this woman–in his life. He would happily give up his tomorrows for them. The big man enfolded Phoebe in his arms and whispered, "I love you, Phoebes..." And she knew he always would. Drawing back, he said, "I'm'a take a shower." Smiling back, she said, "I'm'a have some tea. See you downstairs."

Once inside the bathroom, Finn shut the door to the bedroom. He always did that. With two wives and three kids competing for portions of his life, he had needed that. E used to try and sneak in on him from time to time until Simone put the kibosh on that. This was, after all, the only Finn time that he got. Now, with eight crazy women in his life, all trying like mad to twist him to their will, he needed this even more. He needed space to think. Setting the water to heat up, he got out towels and his toothbrush.

Standing at the sink brushing his teeth, the big man found that he was a little bit of a mess. He wasn't exactly burned, but his skin was an angry red in a lot of places, and he shuddered to think what his little buddy looked like. That was crazy stupid, but he wouldn't have taken it back because he did love Phoebes. _I love too hard,_ he thought. He would never in a million years have believed a girl would say that. At the same time, he knew she was right. It was the explanation for all the madness of his life. Shaking himself, he turned for the shower and got busy lathering up and scrubbing his now-tender skin.

Just as always, his mind went in circles as he tried to figure a way out of this. The problem, as he could have told anyone, wasn't the fact that he was cheating, though that was bad. He thought he could have squared that. The problem was that he wasn't bangin' anonymous ho's at the strip-club. He was in hock with women he was truly, madly in love with. He'd always had a thing for Marcy and Peebles, and he'd dated–actually dated–Phoebes. He'd protected Cherry, fought for her life, and even had a child with her. The only girl who was sort of an oddity was Lollipop–at least when you didn't consider that she had been there for some of the biggest pieces of his life.

Lollipop had looked after Billy, Fionna, and Star when they were kids. They'd stayed in her house hundreds of times. They'd had free run of her shop in town. She was their third mom after Simone and E. Lollipop had stitched Simone's wedding dress, then turned right around and stitched one for E. She'd been at both his weddings. Hell, her shop was almost the first place he ever took Simone. She'd been in his life at least as much as any of the others. So what was he going to say to her?

Phoebe had breakfast on the table when he got downstairs, and she could tell by the sorrowful look on his face that he was kind of a mess still. With a sad little chuckle, she opined, "guess you couldn't figure it out in the shower?" Finn blushed. Sitting down before the delicious breakfast she'd cooked up, he admitted, "it's worse than you know, Phoebes..." The elemental blinked. It was already pretty bad. What did 'worse' mean. Slowly Finn spun out the tale, telling her how angry he'd been when Simone and Emeraude left town again after the ugly revelation at Simon's banquet. Phoebe herself was on her feet with that news. She'd known Simone was doing some questionable things, but that actually shocked her.

Finn glanced up at those words. With a heavy sigh, the elemental admitted, "she... admitted to flirting with some of those guys... to letting them take her out to dinner..." Nodding, Finn said, "this thing with Betty's killing us, Phoebes. I... I was so mad when I found out, I slept on the floor in my office." He hadn't been much interested in resisting when Lollipop made her move. That led into the encounter with Cherry in Froyo Kingdom. And that brought them around to P-Bot. "Wow," burbled the Flame King.

"I can't help you with this, babe," said Phoebe. "I'm not any different than any of the others, except maybe being more honest about what I want. I fucked up and walked off on the perfect man, and now I want him back. You're... Finn, you need somebody objective to talk to... somebody who's not in love with you." She knew the name atop that list, though, and she was quick to head him off, reminding him, "Jake's your older brother, Finn, but he's still a kid. I'd... *Sigh* I wouldn't ask him either." Finn chuckled. Jake thought with his balls as often as his stomach. Deep thoughts weren't his strong suit.

As Finn and Phoebe sat down for breakfast, Billy Mertens strolled up to the manager's office for the TWRR. The day was a bit cold for the season, and he found himself wishing he'd brought a heavier coat. Knocking on the door, he braced himself for whatever he was going to meet here. The encounter with the waitress had left him a little creeped-out and wondering just how bad things were here. Knowing what had been going on in Froyo Kingdom and having just gone through hell in Mafia Princess's tower, he feared their opponents were in control here. There was more than one reason the train might get delayed here.

Inside, he found a pair of creepy customers. A humanoid with orange skin that resembled scales and a sallow-skinned mutant with uncanny purple eyes stared back at him from the other side of the counter. Both wore business suits in the dingy grey that seemed to be popular around these parts. Indeed, nearly everyone he met wore that color, and that seemed to be as much because of the layer of dust coating everything as anything else. "Good morning," said the humanoid. "May we help you?" Billy stepped up to the counter, taking a good look around as he did so. The place was grimy, with the floor and any other surface that didn't see continued use coated in a fine later of dust.

"Here to see Mr. Moller," Billy replied. The yellow-skinned mutant glanced to the office door behind the counter, as his partner replied, "I'm afraid Mr. Moller isn't here." "Yeah," said Billy. "I'd kind of heard that. Any reason why? He's supposed to be the man runs this yard." The humanoid gave him a sweet smile and said, "why some family emergency or other, Mr...?" "Mertens," replied Billy. "William Mertens. Lieutenant of the Banana Guard." "Oh," said the man. "Well, we didn't realize that they would send someone so important..." Billy frowned at him. "Well," said the humanoid, "the offices of Princess Bonnibel and Princess Ragnhild have both been sending us urgent missives regarding a missing train..."

"Yeah," said Billy, "here to find it." The mutant piped up with, "that's most irregular! We could never allow..." The other fellow hushed him. "Well, we're not entirely _sure_ what happened to those particular box-cars, Mr. Mertens," said the humanoid. "Our manifests show them coming in and being humped..." "Being what," asked Billy? "Humped," said the mutant. "We roll all the cars over a small hill to help build up trains. The hump is the last step before the train rolls out..." "So my missing cars should be in your departure yard," said Billy. "Possibly," said the humanoid. "However, it's been a number of days. Trains don't stay in the marshaling yard for long..." "I'll give it a look anyway," replied Billy. The mutant wanted to protest, but his pal stopped him. With an oily smile, the humanoid handed Billy a workman's helmet and vest and sent him on his way.

Outside in the dank air of the railyard, the big man reflected on what he'd just seen. Likely Mr. Moller was in somebody's wall somewhere, having been _leveraged_ to death. There were three possibilities for the missing rail-cars. Either they'd never left Froyo Kingdom, they had disappeared along the way, or they were still here. Billy knew that Ragnhild's people had been right there as the train left her capitol. It would have been a little difficult to make three rail cars disappear in the middle of nowhere. Not impossible, but difficult enough that he doubted they'd tried. The young hero was certain the missing cars were still here, and he had a pretty good idea where he'd find them. Donning the hardhat and vest, the young man set out for the arrival section of the yard.

He took his time with his search, systematically combing through the wrack and ruin as if hunting treasure. As he searched, the sun spun along its track through the sky, and the day became warmer until finally the warm rays of the sun burned off the layers of cloud that had hid the sky. Billy kept going. With the heat of the day on him, he economized on his movements, keeping to the shade, best he could, and searching the more closed-in cars while the day wasn't too hot to manage. He saw intermittent signs of life here. There were bits of bone scattered in places, suggesting that hobos and bums or even small animals had eaten here or there. For the most part, though, it was quiet and still, with nothing to suggest that this place wasn't still a graveyard for the hulks that dotted the landscape.

Reaching its zenith, the sun turned and headed for the horizon, bearing witness to the comings and goings of trains headed northeast to Froyo Kingdom and southeast to the Candy Monarch's domain. Billy had been in the railyard most of the day, searching. The place reminded him a lot about the stories his momma and grampa used to tell about the world before the bombs fell. The site was vast, and TWRR was only using a tenth of the place at most. That left a lot of space to hide three boxcars. Fortunately much of the material there was forgotten relics. It was fairly easy to ignore the rusted ruins that had been rail-cars–although he did stare at the one that held the old cars. He could have rummaged through that one for _days_. He also gave a couple of the old engines a look, finding them amazingly _clean_ and even _sterile_ , compared to the TWRR's steam engines.

The sun was headed for the horizon when he found the first of the missing cars. The day had been dark and unpleasant to start with, and he was looking forward to getting indoors, getting a bite to eat, and calling his girlfriend. After a day of jumping at shadows, he would be delighted to finish this.

The car had been crudely repainted. Someone had gone to a lot of trouble to paint over all the identifying markings. Problem was, they had done it by just spraying on squares and rectangles of black paint. Casually glancing around him, Billy conjured a bit of cold. The sudden change in temperature broke the fresh paint's tenuous grip on the metal, causing it to slough off in big globs. _Number five-forty-seven,_ thought Bill. That was one of the missing. Now it was time for step two. The contents would tell him if this was the conspiracy at work. If the car was empty, that would likely mean the conspirators would try for Sweet-P again.

The big man walked up to the heavy main door and checked the latch, finding a padlock firmly secured to it. Glancing around him, he focused his will on a point inside the lock. Bending the forces of entropy to his will, he drained all the heat energy from the lock's interior, causing it to contract faster than the exterior. The lock gave way with a muted *bang*. Billy jerked the broken lock open and tossed it aside. Then he leaned into the door and carefully shoved it open. Climbing inside, he drew his flashlight and began looking around.

The young hero was puzzled by what he saw. Instead of an empty car, he found scrap. _Did I guess wrong,_ he wondered? Stepping down off the boxcar once more, he checked the car's ID number again. _This is the car,_ he decided, but that was all he could say. None of this made any sense. The car was full of junk. Why was it full of junk? Resolving to do a closer inspection, he went to climb back up. That was when a massive, powerful hand grabbed his ankle with crushing force and jerked him off his feet. He barely avoided smacking his jaw into the boxcar's steel deck.

Billy found himself on the ground staring up at a quartet of disreputable looking hobos. "Well, precious," rumbled the ugly, rotten-toothed specimen on the left, "what're ye doin' in _our_ place?" "Terribly sorry," said Billy. "The door was unlocked..." "Was it now," growled the one on the right? His furtive movements suggested he had a weapon of some sort hidden in his waistband. This was getting out of control fast. He didn't doubt that these men were supposed to be guarding the cargo to make sure nobody found it. On the surface, this looked a lot like a fight he could win, but he feared these men had some kind of edge. The enemy had to know who he was and what he was capable of. So how were these four going to take on an ice-wizard and win?

Billy decided to test the waters a little. Leveling an ice-bolt on the one in the middle, he knocked him cold, toppling him over flat on his back. Almost immediately the other three pounced, with two wielding clubs and beating him, while the third drew some sort of metal cylinder from his pants, jammed it into Billy's side, and administered a powerful electric shock. The big man saw stars then, and his arms and legs–indeed his whole body–shook uncontrollably such that he couldn't have formed an ice-bolt if he tried. While his body was jerking spastically–and refusing to answer his commands–the men lashed his legs together, and then lashed his arms. When the ugly one with the bad teeth brought out a blindfold, Billy knew he was in trouble.

Just as things looked their darkest, a heavy crossbow quarrel pierced the chest of the man with the electrocution device. As the gadget dropped from his nerveless fingers, a second bolt struck nasty-teeth. Two arrows at once struck the last man, who'd had a knife in his hands, poised to stab the young wizard. As Billy stared wildly around him, five Froyo Kingdom guards ran onto the scene. "Are you alright, sir," asked their leader. "Yeah," Billy replied. "Thanks to you guys." _Lesson, Bill,_ he told himself. _Don't be cocky._

The five men explained that they had come looking for him after learning of his whereabouts from the men at the office. "Would have been here sooner, but we went to the Departure's Yard, thinking you were there," said the lead guardsman. Billy blushed to his hair. "It's a ruse, Lieutenant," he told the older man. Nodding at the boxcar, he said, "they lied to me, but I figured it out." Rubbing his whiskers, one of the other guardsmen opined, "might have been better for you if you hadn't, sir." Wryly, Billy chuckled. Changing the subject, he said, "what're you guys doing here?" The lieutenant replied, "Her Royal Highness, Princess Ragnhild Knudsen, Lady of the River, and Monarch of the Boiling Sea, did personally dispatch us to bring you back to her train..." Rolling his eyes, Billy said, "next time, lead with that part." Ragnhild was here, and that meant she was in danger.

"C'mon," said Billy, "help me find the other two boxcars. Sooner we find them, the sooner we get out of here." "Her Highness is expecting a report," replied the Lieutenant. Taking charge, Billy turned to the second highest ranked man there. "Sargent," said he. "Take one of the privates and head back to the train. Inform Her Highness that we're gonna' find the last two boxcars. We'll be back as soon as we can. In the meantime, she should make ready to leave at a moment's notice."

They did find the other two missing cars, tucked away on hidden sidings among rusted relics of a by-gone era. Just as with the first car, the material inside had been carefully and thoroughly smashed. Billy was certain the majority was well beyond repair as he'd clambered over shattered glass and bundles of wire that looked to have been set on fire. Bonnie wasn't going to learn anything from _this_. Dejected, Billy led the three guardsman back to the station where they found Her Highness's train waiting on a siding there.

The train's conductor ushered them aboard, and Ragnhild's maid immediately led them back to the very last car. Billy was excited to see his girl, and he had to control his emotions as they walked into the presence of the Princess and her court. Ragnhild was sitting at the very rear of the car on a heavily bolstered chair with her advisors gathered around her. Billy approached the impromptu throne as if he were approaching her in her audience chamber. It was important not to give anyone any idea that they were an item. She was hoping to slip this up on her somewhat conservative cabinet without looking scandalous.

Bowing before her, he said, "good evening, Your Highness, I..." "Where have you _been_ , Captain," Ragnhild shouted?! "I sent for you hours ago!" Billy blushed to his hair, and his eyes flicked to the sargent, who was standing at attention off to one side looking rather like he might piss his pants. Billy glanced back to Ragnhild and offered, "I was tracking the last two boxcars, Your Highness. I..." Ragnhild shot to her feet, cutting him off with, "you were risking your life, _Captain_! You were dicing with your life, instead of obeying Our orders!" _Royal We, Billy,_ the young man thought. This was going off the rails fast. "We summoned you to Our presence, Captain," Ragnhild shouted! "Our Royal Guards found you being accosted by common bandits! You were in danger of losing your _head_ , Captain!"

Billy's face snapped over to the embarrassed guard, and he realized that he hadn't been specific about what he wanted the guard to say. In retrospect, he realized he probably should have given him a cover story or something. His dad was forever coming up with half-truths and witty lies to tell his moms as explanation for why his clothes were ripped or why he was bloody. For that matter, Finn the Human often got creative when he was reporting to his boss, Princess Bubblegum. Women had short patience for a dude already, but that got worse when that deadly emotion called _love_ got in the mix. Billy would have to remember that if he survived this epic ass-chewing.

"You put your life at risk, Captain," snarled Ragnhild. "You risked a life We place value on. You wagered a life We value without the Royal Permission. That is not acceptable, Captain. It is never acceptable. Do you understand?" "Yes, Your Highness," murmured Billy, as he offered her a sweeping bow. She left him that way a long, long while. "Go and retrieve your belongings, Captain," the Princess snapped. "At once, Your Highness," said Billy. She curtly dismissed him. Billy had never been so glad to get out of a place as he was to get out of that train car.

Outside, the sheepish Lieutenant offered, "sorry, sir. I... uh... That is, I didn't expect..." Billy waved that off. _He_ should have expected it. It was another lesson from his dad. He needed to internalize it. He wouldn't last long if he didn't. His dad had only had to manage his moms. Billy had to manage a princess! "I better go get my stuff," said he. The sheepish Lieutenant offered, "uh... would the Captain like an escort, sir?" Blushing himself, Billy slowly nodded. Ragnhild was in a snit, and it wouldn't do to make that worse by just wandering into town by himself.

It was late in the evening when Billy returned to the train station. He'd taken his time going down and coming back in the hope that Ragnhild would cool off. He found his room had been ransacked, his bags rifled, and his clothes strewn all over the floor. That sobering discovery made him glad he'd brought backup. Now, as he stared at the train, his eyes went back to Ragnhild's car. The lights were out, suggesting that she'd gone to bed. That was a little disappointing. He'd wanted to talk. With a sigh, he went up to the train and announced himself to the conductor. The guards walking sentry with loaded repeating-crossbows made him feel better.

Climbing aboard the train, he went hunting up Ragnhild's maid. He needed a place to sleep. The maid seemed puzzled by the request. "Milady said to fetch you to her solar the minute you'd returned," she explained. Billy shivered in fear. Was this another chewing out? Or worse. Was she going to dump him? _Nothing for it but to find out,_ he decided as he motioned for the maid to lead on.

Ragnhild was at the desk in her private compartment with her son when they arrived. She was dressed in her nightgown, but she had papers strewn across the desk. Billy offered her a bow which she waved off. "Did you find the shipment," she asked? She still sounded pissed. "I'm sorry, Your Highness," he murmured. "I didn't think things through... I... I'm still learning." She waved that off too. Flushing, Billy said, "it was all smashed, Highness..." Ragnhild's head snapped around, and her mouth came open. Bill waited on her to articulate her question. Brushing back her long, pale hair, she said, "that doesn't make sense... I... Why would they do that?" Billy shrugged, "same reason they hid it. I... I don't think they want us to know how far they got..." He told her of how they'd ransacked his room. Their adversaries had wanted to know how much he knew.

Face grown thoughtful, Ragnhild said, "Bonnie needs to hear this." She wasn't wise enough or smart enough to understand what these people were up to. Turning to her Captain of the Guard, she said, "you may withdraw, Captain." _Still pissed,_ he thought. Billy gave her a sweeping bow. As he turned to go, he waved at little Anders, saying, "hey, buddy." Anders waved back, which seemed to surprise Ragnhild out of proportion to the action. Billy kept on walking, his mind playing back what he'd seen today. He wasn't really sure what was going on himself, and he wanted to see what his dad thought. Unfortunately, there was no signal here in the middle of the wastelands. He'd have to get back to the Candy Kingdom before he could talk to anybody.

The big man went up to the middle of the train where a coach customarily carried the men of Her Highness's Guard. Finding a seat for himself near the back where he wouldn't disturb anybody, Billy sat down, stretched out, and took a nap. He hoped they would roll soon. He wanted Ragnhild out of here. These guys were playing for keeps, and they had a lot of dangerous toys.

Billy didn't really know how long he was asleep. He awoke to the steady sound of the train rolling down the tracks. Opening his eyes, he found the carriage around him dark, and the only light coming from the moon outside. Sitting up, he found the coach full of the troops– _his_ troops–sleeping. Likely a few of them would be on duty on the train or up at the front on the locomotive's foot-plate, watching over the train and its occupants. Deciding that he needed to learn about what they did and how they did it, Billy rose and headed forward.

The crew of the train was very helpful, telling him all about the train's defenses. The front of the train was a platform that carried a pair of turreted cannon powered by steam from the boiler. Every car was fitted with a fighting position in a cubbyhole at one end manned by crossbow-wielding guards. The whole of the train was fitted with steel shutters on all the windows, and a troop car sat at the front and rear. It was a level of protection that made Bonnie's army seem weak, but Bonnie was purposefully handicapping herself to appease neighbors who feared her.

Leaving the front of the train, the Captain of the Guard headed aft, finding that the princess had gone to bed. Standing in the aisle outside the door, he pondered looking in on her and Anders. Irritated as he was at getting chewed out, the big man wanted to see his beautiful princess. He'd missed her, and he wanted to hear her voice. As he stood outside her door, a deep rumble got his attention. Frowning, he turned towards the rear of the train as that rumble got louder and louder. _What is that,_ he thought?

The impact jolted the train so hard, it threw him from his feet. The train shuddered, and he could _hear_ protesting metal. Then he could hear a fantastic squeal of metal on metal, and the train shook again. Clambering to his feet, Billy fought his way rearward against a flood of people, including some guards. The train was still moving, but slower now. Something was slowing it down. Billy walked out onto the platform between the Royal Coach and the Guard car at the end of the train. He was astonished to see a massive black shape had impaled the Guard Coach, splitting the structure and causing it to buck and bounce on the rails. That was a significant portion of his men! Many of Her Highness's guards had just been killed!

Worse was coming. Looking back along the shattered coach, he could see a massive locomotive, it's wheels straining in reverse as it slowly dragged the Royal Train to a halt. And there were men back there. They were clambering forward, climbing over the wreckage. He'd feared things were escalating. Now he had shocking confirmation of just how far these men would go.

 **Sorry for the cliffhanger. Work got in the way this week. I got halfway through the second chapter, but realized I wouldn't be able to put in the level of quality I expect of myself.**


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30:

Finn woke from a dream of taking a bath in a steamy hot spring with a beautiful girl to find his bedroom lit by a soft, lambent glow. Groggily, he slid his arms down Simone's beautiful body as he tried to figure out where the light was coming from and what had awakened him only to realize that the glow was coming from the bed. A girlish shriek dragged Phoebe out of dreamland. Startled, the elemental woman spun around to find Finn tumbling out of bed. "I... the bed," stammered Finn. "Fire..." "Asbestos and silicon don't burn, dummy," yawned Phoebe. "Your phone's ringin'." Fighting past the cobwebs, Finn gathered himself to his feet, finally remembering that he'd gone to bed with Phoebe last night in the heavy glass-fiber batting and sheets she'd brought. Wearing a blush from his crown to his collarbones, the big man stumbled over to the dresser and plucked his phone from the charger. "Yeah," he said.

As Phoebe watched, her boyfriend's face slowly went from groggy to instantly alert to utterly terrified. Moments later, he had hung up the phone and was rushing to gather up some clothes. Unfortunately she'd wrecked the clothes he'd been wearing that evening. It was the second set of clothes she'd wrecked, and she felt a little bad about that. She was going to have to do better, but she was having a little trouble with control. The whole 'able to have sex' thing was painfully new after more than twenty years without it.

It was all she could do to hang on until he'd eaten dinner. Then she wanted him _out_ of those clothes and naked, so she could get to grips with that hard bod. He'd confided in Phoebe about his fear of screwing around with P-Bot and the android-girl going nuclear on him. It made Phoebe laugh, but the angry red splotches she'd spotted on him earlier in the evening were no laughing matter. She was as much a danger to him as the android-woman, and she was going to have to get better control of herself before she hurt him.

"On the left," said Phoebe. She'd washed his clothes when she got here this evening. That was a new–and terrifying–experience for her. She'd mucked around with water at the risk of getting doused–even if said water _was_ contained in the clunky machines at the base of the treehouse. She'd kept a fire going nearby just in case, but she'd been absolutely terrified. The fear had been exhilarating, and she found she understood his joy in his reckless lifestyle. If that was what he felt every time he went a few rounds with some monster, she could understand how addictive that was. It wasn't for _her_. She had responsibilities, after all, but she could understand. In the now, he had enough clothes to make it until he was no longer quarantined.

Sitting on the bed with her legs tucked up under her, she asked, "so, uh, where we going?" Finn glanced up from wrestling on his pants. "You're still sick, babe," said the Flame King. "You're gonna' need me to interact with whoever you're going to see." Finn blushed. "Patrick and Fionna are at Dr. P's place," he said. "Fi's... Fi's sick. They don't know what's wrong..." "All the more reason for me to go with you," she said. "You'll just make it worse." Rising, she went downstairs to gather on her own clothes. By the time Finn arrived, she was presentable. The pair went down to the entry and out to Finn's truck, where Phoebe said, "I think I'll fly. See you there."

Finn could have wished to have her company. Patrick had only been able to give him a vague description of what was wrong with his little girl. He was absolutely terrified of losing Fionna, and he wished he had someone to talk to. Instead, he focused on not wrecking as he once more took the drive into town at high speed. Dodging around early morning traffic, Finn tore down the road with his lights blazing and siren blaring, even resorting to honking at a too slow driver or two. Rolling up on the Candy Clinic, the big man slammed the truck into park and practically dove out the door. As he climbed the stairs, Phoebe alit beside him.

Smiling, she said, "I wish I could have ridden with you, babe, but I wasn't sure..." Realizing what she meant, Finn blushed. She'd feared losing her hard-won control. She loved Fionna too. Taking Phoebe's hand, Finn went up into the clinic. Immediately, he was greeted by a nurse who ushered them to the back. Drew was there, dressed in flannel PJs and without her characteristic pigtails, which told where she had been when the news came in. "Thanks for coming so quickly, Finn," said the beautiful doctor. "Thank you, Dr. P," Finn sincerely replied. "How's my girl doin?"

The doctor took a deep breath, which told Finn all he needed to know. Fi was in bad shape. "Monster," he asked? With a heavy sigh, Drew shook her head and said, "no. It's... You should see for yourself, Finn..." The Captain followed the beautiful doctor down to the room where his daughter was staying. She put a gown and mask on him before leading him inside. There he found his would-be son-in-law hovering over his daughter, looking pale and drawn. He had clearly not been sleeping, and there were dark splotches under his eyes.

Fi looked... _faded_. She had lost what little color she had, and even her hair looked bleached out. Her eyes were shut, and she had an oxygen mask on her face. Drew explained, "her metabolism is elevated, and her body is consuming itself. We have no idea why. It's not a bug or virus. Not something _I'm_ familiar with, anyway..." She glanced to Patrick. Finn called out to him, saying, "hey, Pat... Can we chat outside?" The young man gave him a look so bleak it was painful. Voice choked with emotion, Patrick Petrikov said, "she's cursed. It's her sword. It's killing her..." Drew rolled her eyes. Of course, much like Bonnie, she didn't really believe in magic.

Phoebe announced, "it's true, babe. I can see it." Drew and Finn both spun to face her. Drew got in the elemental's face and demanded, "what do you see?" Phoebe fetched back a pace, but Finn caught her hand and dragged her forward. Staring down at her best friend's daughter, the elemental woman said, "there's... an energy... It's all around her, but it's concentrated in her heart. It's... draining her strength. Almost as fast as she creates it..." "Is it tied to an object," asked Drew? "Can you see where it's coming from?" "I... it's her heart," said Phoebe. "It's consuming her heart..."

Drew Princess muttered curses. She was asked to fight something she couldn't _see_. How would she cure an invisible affliction? Just start cutting bits off? Like a barbarian? Finn took a deep breath. He stared at his daughter, then at his arm, and then back at his daughter. Softly, he murmured, "I know someone who would understand..." Drew spun to him, her face looking like she would beat his head in. "Out with it," she snarled! Finn raised his cursed arm and said, "the Grass Mage..."

Drew's face went red-hot. That was her great failure. Try as she might, she'd never extricated the grass creature from Finn's body. It was always there–masquerading as his normal arm. It would pop up at the damndest times, almost as if _taunting_ her. _But you always tried to treat it as a_ physical _ailment, not something metaphysical,_ she thought. _It might well be time to_ change _that thinking._ "Alright, Finn," she said. "Get. Before you make someone sick."

Out in the wastelands, Billy was shaking off the shock of seeing a pack of thugs come crawling along the sides and roof of the wrecked Guard Coach. With the power of the Ice-Tiara, he started laying into them. He froze the side of the carriage, causing two to slip off. Both landed beneath the wheels of the almost-demonic steam-engine blazing away behind them. He fired ice-darts into two who'd come up along the roof, taking out both. As the two men fell, Ragnhild came out. "W-what's going on," she shouted?! _Of all the luck,_ thought Billy. "Get inside," he shouted! The men were readying crossbows now. They'd hoped to get across unopposed, but that had been a vain hope.

"What's going on," she shouted?! "Who are those people?!" "I said to get inside," he shouted! Drawing herself up to her full height, she said, "I'm Princ..." Billy grabbed her by the shoulder and shoved her back through the door as a half-dozen arrows slammed into the sides of her carriage. Ragnhild shrieked at the terrifying sight and sound of that. "Get Anders and get your ass up to the front of the train," Billy shouted! The time for games was done! Ragnhild got up with exaggerated care, looking every bit the princess. Billy delivered a stinging swat to her ass–hard enough that she blushed to her hair. Gawping at him, she might have cursed him, but Billy coldly told her, "this is a battle. Now _I'm_ in charge. Go to the front, or I will _make_ you go." There was something in his eyes that said he wasn't bluffing. Younger he might be, but he wasn't going to be a _toy_. The proud woman rushed out of there as if her feet were burning.

Billy turned back to the matter at hand. They were trying to stop the train. They were trying to bring the train to a stop. The men on that locomotive weren't the only problem. They were just one piece of it. If he were in their shoes, he'd either derail the train or, if they really wanted people to question, he'd get it stopped and attack from all sides. Moving to the intercom, even as he kept one eye on the men trying to climb over from the other train, Billy called the locomotive. "Sir," responded a nervous guard. "Do you need aid? We've been trying to raise the second Guard Coach..." "They're dead," Billy shouted! "The enemy train rammed right through them. The wreckage is hung up on their engine."

There was a pause at the other end of the line, and Billy could almost _see_ the terrified guard, standing at his post. "Never mind that," he said. "Need you to get the shutters closed and alert the men on duty in the lead car. They're trying to slow us down. That means there's an ambush up ahead." "At once, sir," shouted the guard! Billy hung up. Now he had to get them out of this. As he turned back to the door, three bandits came bursting in. One leveled a dart rifle at him. The other two rushed forward with swords. Billy conjured a wall of ice as the gunner cut loose. Then he was in hand-to-hand with the other two as the darts slammed into the wall of ice.

The young wizard conjured twin blades of glacial ice, dense and hard as steel. The two goons were only passable with a blade, but there were two of them, and he had to be conscious of the guy with the gun getting past his wall. Backpedaling, the big man found himself getting pushed further and further from the doorway. He'd hoped just to lose the Guard Coach, but he could _hear_ more and more men coming through the door behind the ice-wall. Billy conjured a second ice wall as the gunner came into view again with a couple more friends. Then he conjured a third as he was forced further and further up the length of the carriage. Soon the carriage was near full of assassins, and he was out of options.

The hero backed up into the short hallway outside Ragnhild's office and threw up yet another wall behind his two assailants. Focusing his powers on the edge of the sword in his strong right hand, he caught one assailant's blade in an impenetrable web of ice, sticking the two weapons together. Letting go, he bashed the startled assassin in the face, cold-cocking him. Then, as the other man watched in surprise as his friend went down, Billy stabbed him through the heart with a freshly-conjured ice-dagger.

His ice-wall was cracking. Repeated blasts from those dart-rifles was tearing it to pieces. Billy backpedaled out onto the platform between the cars. He'd hoped not to have to do this. Ragnhild was going to be pissed at him, but he had to save their lives. They needed to keep the train rolling through the coming ambush. It could mean their lives. Rushing across to the next platform, he turned and focused his will on the locking mechanism holding the two cars together. Then, tapping the frozen coupler knuckle with his foot, he shattered it, releasing Ragnhild's private car. The train lurched, surging forward and nearly sending him flying off the back. Catching himself, he turned and began to climb for the roof. He would want a bird's eye view for this bit.

The big man fought his way forward against the icy blast of the wind atop the car, balancing precariously as he slip-slid along. He could see lights ahead. There were lights ahead and on either side of the track. The ambush was dead ahead. Fortunately, they weren't blundering up on it in the dark. The trap had failed, and they were ready. The guards in the lead car immediately opened fire, causing the night to erupt with deafening blasts of thunder. Billy kept going, slowly making his way forward, his senses alive for the perfect moment.

As the distance shrank, he could see figures out there scrambling to put the ambush together. He imagined their surprise. Far from slowing to a stop, the train was speeding up again. Billy focused all the stolen power of the Ice Tiara, raising twin walls of ice fifteen feet high and a quarter mile long on either side of the tracks. The walls absorbed the brunt of the assassins' fire, shielding the train from their darts and arrows and even a small cannon. The twin cannon at the front of the train blasted through the barricade on the tracks, and the heavy train thundered on into the night with barely a bobble as a couple of cars struck debris. Billy himself was exhausted, and he very nearly fell over the side.

Crawling to the end of the car, he had to gather himself before he could climb down. Fortunately, a pair of guards were there to help him get onto the platform. Ragnhild was there in the dining car as the two men helped him walk in. The princess was cradling her son, and she immediately rushed up and slapped him hard enough that he nearly went down. Dizzy as he was, he had to fight to stay on his feet. "I'm sorry I had to do that, baby," he told her. Ragnhild threw herself on him and cried and cried. The big man wobbled there, holding onto his lady, letting her release all that pent-up emotion. "I'm sorry," he told her. "I didn't like doing that." The princess grabbed his hair, pulled his face to hers and delivered a scorching kiss, which all present in the room pretended not to see.

Billy wobbled over to the nearest chair and all but fell into it. "Sorry, Your Highness," he told her. "I had to cut your personal car loose. The assassins had control over it..." "I don't give a damn for that," she told him! "Don't you _dare_ do that again!" He promised he wouldn't, but they both knew he was lieing. "Who are they," she asked? "What do they want?" Billy replied, "nobody knows. My dad and sister are combing over the Mafia Princess's tower trying to find out." But he intended to find out. This was becoming dangerous, and now he suddenly had a very big reason for wanting to continue breathing. In the now though, all he really wanted to do was sleep.

The sun was up when Finn rolled to a stop at the border of the Grass Wizard's territory. It had been two decades since he'd last seen the crusty old man's ugly face. Standing beside the truck, he reflected on that. He would have asked Simon for help, but Betty would certainly have gotten in the way. More to the point, Simone and E would be wrecks, right when they needed to be sharp. Shaking his head, the worried father went up the hill.

Finn took his time, when what he really wanted was to run. His mind went back to the day he'd come up here with Jake. It had been a mild lesson in looking before he leaped. What had been intended to destroy his life had become a part of him. As he passed the places where the Grass Wizard's hidden defenders lay, Finn gave them only casual glances. The wizard had also learned a valuable lesson. Be careful who you fuck with.

Walking up to the wizard's cottage, Finn found himself impressed. Said cottage had grown substantially. The Grass Wizard was doing well, it seemed. Walking up to the door, the worried father knocked politely. A voice from inside called out, "go away!" Finn replied, "it's me, Finn..." There was a momentary pause, and the voice replied, "all the more reason for you to go away!" "I need your help," Finn shouted! "You have no jurisdiction here," the mage shouted! "I don't have to lift a finger for you!" Nodding, Finn replied, "I'm willing to pay for your time..." The grass mage shouted, "the answer's still no!"

The big man said not a word. The strange appendage at the end of his right elbow fed off his worry and anger, using that to grow. The massive, thorny appendage tore the Grass Wizard's cottage from its foundation, lifting it into the air. There it _shook_ the house. Finn could hear shouts and screams and the sounds of glass breaking. Finally the front door came open, and the half-naked mage–and a naked wood nymph–came tumbling out.

Setting the cottage down on its foundations, Finn calmly said, "sorry to interrupt you while you were getting your freak on. I need your help..." His arm returned to its normal appearance. The irascible magician replied, "w-why should I help you?! You won't hurt me!" A blazing ball of fire coalesced out of thin air, announcing in a voice like rock grinding on rock, " _I might_..." Pissing his pants, the wizard scrambled back away from the elemental. Finn greeted the wood nymph with, "hi, Madolen. Fancy meeting you here. They must have let you out of jail early..."

The wizard's face snapped back and forth between his girlfriend and his unwanted visitors. Coolly, Finn explained, "married two dudes and poisoned them for their money. She's s'posed to be in jail. Like forever..." The nymph spat curses at him. One of the grass sword's thorny tendrils casually picked her up by one ankle and tossed her down the hill. "So," said Phoebe, "now that you owe Finn for saving your life, will you repay him, or...?" The 'or' part was pretty apparent. "Uh, yeah," said the wizard, "lemme' get my jacket..." A tendril of the grass sword reached through the open cottage door and retrieved the coat, dropping it at his feet. The message was clear. It was time to go.

As the Grass Wizard followed Finn the Human down the hill to his truck, Ragnhild the Froyo Princess's train was pulling into the station in the Candy Kingdom's capitol. In the dining car, Billy sat just as he'd sat through the wee hours of the morning–Ragnhild and Anders sitting on his lap. There was little point in pretending, and Billy wanted his lady and her son right where he could lay hands on them anyway. If it came to it, he would have bailed out of the train and carried the pair of them cross-country on his back.

Yawning, the beautiful older woman sat up and looked around her. The staff of the dining car had been tip-toeing around them for a while now, but they couldn't sit like this forever. The crisis was over. It was time to reassume the roles that they'd been born into. She had to get up and go get dressed. "Sorry," sighed Billy. "I... I guess all your dresses got lost..." The princess chuckled, "just the formal State Robes. My traveling gear's all up in the baggage carriage." Giving him a peck on the cheek, she rose to go get dressed. Billy reached up and took Anders from her, saying, "he'll be ok with me a little while longer, baby. You... go do your thing." Flushing, the pretty mommy stared at him a moment. Then, smiling in delight, she kissed him again before heading forward to the baggage car.

Billy took care of getting Anders washed and fed before turning him over to his nursemaid. Then, with a couple of squads of the remaining guards, he escorted his beloved to the Council Meeting at Bonnie's palace. With the train arrived in the Candy Kingdom, his phone began buzzing almost nonstop with all sorts of alarming messages, leaving him antsy as the Royal Coach rolled through the streets of Bonnie's capitol. So worried did he become that his lady grew concerned enough to ask, forcing him to put her off. This was important on multiple levels. His father had things with Fionna under control. Still, it took all his considerable will to wait until Ragnhild was seated in the Council Chamber before he rushed off to meet his dad.

He found a good chunk of his family at the Candy Clinic looking after Fionna, with only Star and their moms absent. Striding up to his father, he started off with the question of the hour, asking, "how is she, dad?" "I could ask the same about you," Finn replied. Billy's messages had also finally gotten through, alerting his father to the news of what had gone on in the wastelands. The big man was relieved to see his son come through that unscathed. With Fionna hovering near death, he was terrified of losing his kids.

Blushing, Billy replied, "I'm ok..." Finn reached out and hugged him anyway. He was happy to see his boy after hearing about the attempt on his life at the train yard. "How's Ragnhild," asked the Captain of the Guard? Blush deepening, Billy said, "uh... We need to talk about that..." Finn grinned and slapped him on the back, saying, "that's my boy." Which helped Billy not at all. Ragnhild and his dad had once been an item. It was a little weird banging his dad's ex-girlfriend. Changing the subject back to Fionna, the younger man asked, "do we know what's wrong with her?" "No," sighed Finn. "Not yet." Nodding at where the Grass Wizard was looking her over, Finn said, "since Simon's tied up, I found her a specialist."

Finn didn't like the Grass Wizard. Honestly, he was kind of a dick, and not the sort of person you trusted with anything important. At the same time, Phoebe had absolutely made it clear just what was at stake here for the portly old conjurer, and the fat fucker was toeing the line for the moment. Of course if Finn was unhappy, Drew Princess was beside herself with anger. She didn't like depending on something she couldn't see or understand, and she was still wanting to try some specialists she knew. Finn had put her off. He knew what a curse was, and Fionna was showing some of the signs.

Clucking to himself, the Grass Mage came striding across the room. Patrick was on his feet the minute the fat man was through the door. Even Drew stopped her pacing to hear the news. "Well," asked Finn? "Yeah, Finn," sighed the wizard. "I ain't gonna' lie, old buddy, it's a bad'n. Bad as anything I ever saw." "I knew it," muttered Patrick. "I shouldn't have charmed that sword for her..." The Grass Wizard blinked in puzzlement. Then, as Patrick tried to explain how he'd attuned the Crystal Sword to Fionna, the older wizard finally got it.

"Naw, kid," said he, "you got it twisted." "B-but," stammered Patrick, "this all started..." "Long before you were born, kid," said the wizard. Glancing at Finn, he said, "step aside here a minute, Finn." Finn did as he was bidden, wondering where the crazy old coot was going with this. The Grass Wizard drew out his spectacles and commenced to looking Finn up and down with an intensity that only Drew could match. "Yeah," said the wizard. "Just as I feared." "What," demanded Patrick? "What do you fear?" Ignoring him, the Grass Wizard told Finn, "buddy, you may wanna' sit down for this." "I prefer to stand," Finn rumbled.

"Fine," sighed the wizard. "Fine. I... Finn, you're... I guess I should just say this, bud. You're cursed." "I already know that," muttered Finn! "You cursed me, remember?!" "Naw, bud," said the Grass Wizard. "That curse backfired. Shit, ain't ever seen somebody get to _liking_ a curse. You turned that shit all around on me. Started a whole new business. Everybody and their dad wants a grass sword now. I got to turn them awa... Uh... yeah, you look a little impatient..." Finn's glare was matched by the identical glares on Patrick, Drew, and Billy.

"You've been hit with the Quicksilver Curse," said the portly magician. "The who-what," replied Finn. "It's quality work," replied the Grass Wizard. "Only guy with the knowledge was the Ice King–or maybe the Grand Master, before he croaked. No idea why you're not a dried up husk somewhere..." Grabbing Finn's arm, he took a good, long look at it. "Yeah," he said. "This is it, right here." Finn jerked his arm back, and he looked perilously like he would start swinging. Looking up at the testy father, the wizard explained, "somebody laid the Quicksilver Curse on you, man. Pro'lly told you it would help you fight'er something... Trouble is that it burns you up from the inside out. It consumes all your tomorrows to make you faster today. Only reason you're still alive is the Grass Sword. Somebody put some powerful mojo on it. Now it's... It's kinda' like a symbiote. You're keepin' it alive, but it's kinda' keepin' you alive too."

Finn, who'd been doing his best to follow the Grass Wizard's quirky logic now suddenly leaped to the end, shouting, "that motherfucker!" He turned and would have immediately stormed off, but Billy stopped him, asking, "where're you going?" "Gonna' go piss on the Grand Master's grave," growled Finn! "That motherfucker put a curse on me!" Drew shoved the two aside and got in the wizard's face, demanding, "what does all this hocus-pocus have to do with my patient?!" The Grass Wizard fetched back a pace from the amazon-doctor. Holding up his hands to ward off the coming punches, he said, "the Curse... It slays the next two generations of the victim's family..." Drew howled, "that's...! It's... That's _monstrous_!" The wizard shrugged and smiled, "hey, babe, what can I say? The old guy was kind of a king-sized jerk at times. Wouldn't have told it to look at him."

"B-but the sword," insisted Patrick! The wizard told him, "sword's the only thing been keepin' her alive, kid. True love and all that." Patrick blushed to his hair. Nodding, the older wizard said, "if she wasn't crazy for you, she'd have died _months_ ago." "So what do we do," asked Drew? "Dunno," rumbled the wizard. "Honestly, you maybe ought t'let her go. If she even comes out of this, her babies'll pro'lly be cursed too." Billy got in his face and asked, "and me?" With a shrug, the wizard scanned him. "Nope," he said. Finn rumbled, "you got born before I was cursed, Bill... You're safe. Star and Van, though..."

Patrick turned from staring through the door at the woman he'd come to love and shouted, "no! I'm not gonna' just let her die! I don't give a fuck! That's my lady! We have to fix this!" Taken aback by his vehemence, the Grass Wizard was quick to apologize, adding, "sure kid. We'll... We'll get right on this..." Turning to Finn, the wizard said, "uh... kinda' need to go back to my place." "Billy," said Finn. "Take the Grass Wizard back to his place. If you see Madolen kicking around, cuff her ass and haul her to the jail. Somebody in Engagement Ring Kingdom was dumb enough to let her out." The Grass Wizard shuddered in sudden memory. His girlfriend was a serial murderer. "Uh..., maybe you could just go get my stuff for me," said he. "Yeah," said Billy. "What'm I looking for?"

Billy left his son dickering with the Grass Wizard. Taking Drew by the arm, he steered her down the hall and out of earshot. "Now that we have some idea what we're dealing with, I'd kinda' like it if you'd maybe go talk to Wolfie in Wizard City," he said. Drew nodded. She'd forgotten about the witch-doctor, but this was more in line with _his_ expertise than hers. "Where will you be," she asked? With a heavy-hearted sigh, Finn said, "I... I gotta' go back to work." This was clearly hurting him. What normal person wanted to leave their child's side when she was sick. "She's sort of my child too, Finn," said Drew as she hugged him. Sheepishly, Finn hugged her back.

As they embraced, Drew whispered, "what's going on with Phoebe?" Finn almost jumped back from her. The look on his face told her what she was guessing was true. "I saw the marks on your chest and neck, Finn," she said. "What's going on, there?" Finn glanced away. It figured that the woman who'd treated him for burns when he'd kissed Phoebe that first time would spot the damage from their little _encounter_. With a heavy sigh, Drew went in her pocket and said, "put this salve on those injuries, Finn. You're already fighting pneumonia. Be careful. I don't want to be putting you back together if you get burned. Understand?" Finn blushed. That could be taken in more than one way. Drew hugged him again, whispering, "we'll talk later."

Finn headed outside, got in his truck, and set out for the palace. The Princess Privy Council was meeting, and it was high time he put in an appearance and sort of got a feel for the way things were going. Given the way things _usually_ went, Phoebes and Bonnie were going to need his help to herd the cats. As he rode along, he thought of different directions that his investigation could go. He'd send a crew of Banana Guards out to look for Ragnhild's railroad car, and he'd send a company up to the yard to look at the three missing boxcars. Still and all, he was very worried about all of this, and he wasn't sure if he should think the worst or not. _Had_ they gotten hold of the Lich? If they had, he would have expected something earth-shattering by now, but nothing had really happened since they got Sweet-P back.

The meeting was already wrapping up when the Captain of the Guard rolled up to the palace. Princesses were getting in their vehicles and getting out of there. With news of the death of Mafia Princess and the attempt on Ragnhild's train, many had chosen to come with guards of their own. Finn parked his truck across the courtyard, got out, and walked. With everyone so nervous, it didn't pay to push anybody into something that would cause an incident.

Strolling across the courtyard, he greeted Wildberry Princess and Slime Princess. He found Toast Princess coming down the stairs as he approached the heavy double-doors. "Hey, Toaster," he greeted her. "Hey, Finn," the beautiful younger woman replied. She was dressed in a sexy short dress that barely came below her cupcake butt, it's butter-yellow color contrasting with her dark-brown skin. She gave him a sweet smile and stopped in front of him. "What're you doing here," he asked? Rolling her eyes, Toast replied, "my sister thinks I should be putting in work. She told me to come here and look after our interests..."

Finn was a little taken aback by that, but her next words stunned him. With a salacious wink the younger woman said, "really, she's just entertaining the mechanic who looks after our cars while her hubby's away. Now that her kid's _here_ , she gets to fuck around as much as she wants." Blushing to his hair, Finn said, "uh, yeah... I better get inside. See you around." "Sure, Finn," she replied, "I'm in town for the week. Stayin' in the Buntline downtown. Penthouse suite. Stop by for drinks if you'd like." That was a shade worse. He'd never forgotten the night she showed up at his door, all of fourteen years old, looking for sex. She and her sister were two peas in a pod, and he shuddered to think what lessons the youngest sister had learned from the two older sisters. "Yeah," said Finn. "See you..." And he got up the stairs in just three strides.

In the council chamber, he found Bonnie, Phoebe, and Ragnhild wrapping up. "Hey, Finn," Phoebe greeted him. "I was just telling Bonnie about Fionna..." "You poor man," murmured the candy monarch. She gingerly gave Finn a hug. Realizing why she was still so stand-offish, Finn told her, "I'm on pills. Dr. P says I'm mostly ok." Drawing back, Bonnie smiled at him. Ragnhild asked, "where's William?" Finn knew what that was about. "Sent him on an errand," he replied. "If there's anything you need, I can take care of it." Primly, the Froyo Princess replied, "you and your son share a lot, Finn the Human, but you're not _completely_ interchangeable." Finn blushed. Yeah, he needed to have that talk with Billy soon.

Moving on, Finn asked the obvious question, "how's it going?" An irritated Bonnie rumbled, "they won't move. They want to take all the evidence we've gathered, grind it up into fish bait, and basically rely on wishful thinking." It was the same problem they'd had when the aliens were trying to blow up Ooo to get the Devourer. To say they were the leading citizens of their kingdoms, Bonnie's fellow princesses were some of the biggest knuckleheads on Ooo. "What're we doing now," Finn asked? "My advisor's due to address the gathering Friday," Ragnhild replied. "I'm hopeful she'll have some answers for us." Finn wasn't sure he wanted to trust that, but it was time to move on. Bonnie told him, "Phoebe and I have some things to discuss, Finn. Can you escort Ragnhild to her quarters?" "Sure," said Finn. The two headed out. It was a good chance to talk to the princess about his son anyway. If Billy was going to take this job with her, they needed to figure out when the change would happen.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31:

Wolf's appearance did little to help matters with Fionna the Human Girl. Far from showing up with a ready-made solution to the problem, he did little more than _confirm_ what the Grass Wizard had already told them. Fionna was dieing. The curse was killing her. With little recourse, Drew Princess locked herself in a room with the two witch-doctors to hash out a treatment strategy, doing her best to understand what it was that they were arguing about. She was a scientist, and she could follow some of it. She understood the discussions of energy flows and such. But when they got into intricate discussions of soul-coefficients and Eros Transfer, she completely lost the bubble. That was where Patrick found himself playing mediator because the good doctor would gleefully have thrown both men out and tried installing an artificial heart in Fionna's chest as a solution to her woes.

Finn, Billy, and Star were in and out of the clinic, checking up on their loved one and generally getting under foot, which helped Dr. P's mood not at all. In point of fact, she left standing orders at the entry that the guard was to bar them unless he got explicit permission from her to let them in. When Billy dared to question it, he got a ferocious dressing down that sent him fleeing the office as if he'd sat down next to Phoebe at a barbecue. As the days went by and no solution came within sight, Patrick got increasingly desperate himself. The two witch doctors were in and out of Fionna's room, trying various desperate remedies, but the fact of the matter was that nobody was supposed to survive the Quicksilver Curse. The victims nearly always died from it. Only people who's affliction never kicked in ever really recovered.

The one bright spot in all of the turmoil was that the Grass Wizard was able to give Star a clean bill of health. She'd lucked out. The curse had skipped her. The curse afflicting Van had gotten nipped in the bud, and he looked as though he would live a perfectly normal life now. Patrick was delighted about both bits of news. He was far south of happy though with news on his own front. Fionna had slipped deeper into her coma. They were quickly running out of time. The focus today was on the sword. Ever since they'd discovered that it was keeping Fionna anchored to Ooo, preventing her from going on to Death's Kingdom to be judged, it had been in her hand. Patrick made sure of that.

The Grass Wizard had been suggesting using it as some form of cure. There was a lot of Patrick's power invested in the sword. He'd put a lot of himself into it when he was trying to tune it to the woman he loved so much. While Wolfie could agree with that, the two had been facing severe obstacles settling on an approach. Breezy's magic–and her love for Finn the Human–had transformed the Grass Sword. In a very real sense, a part of her was invested in the sword that cohabited Finn's body. That love sustained Finn against the ravages of the curse, protecting him from having the life sucked out of him. The Grass Wizard wanted to try the same approach with Fionna. He wanted to embed a piece of the sword into her body. Both Wolfie and Drew Princess thought he was stark, raving mad.

Lately, Patrick had been thinking rather a lot about his words.

The young wizard had been thinking about Fi's attachment to the sword. He'd been thinking of the way it anchored her and of the way her father had been, more or less, anchored to Ooo by Breezy the Queen Bee. Breezy had used her powers of healing twice now to save Finn the Human. What if he anchored Fionna? He'd listened to the three would-be doctors as they discussed the esoterics, and he'd stayed up late at night puzzling through the sorcery himself, looking Fi over with his wizard eyes and probing at the boundaries of the curse. He'd begun to think that he could do it. Question was, did he _dare_? There was a whole lot that could go wrong. Instead of saving her, he could break her tenuous grip on her mortal coil. Then what would he do? _Fight my way into Death's Kingdom, probably,_ he thought. It was what Fi would have done for him. So what was stopping him?

As Patrick Petrikov pondered whether or not he had the courage to try curing Fionna on his own, Finn the Human sat watching the Princess Privy Council meet. He had been watching from the shadows every day since his son returned with Froyo Princess as several of the more powerful princesses on Ooo debated the finer points of the strange conspiracy swirling around the Lich and the Ice Tiara. Nothing had gotten done because they simply couldn't agree on a course of action, and it seemed nothing ever _would_ get decided. There was a lot of fear in that room, and much of it was targeted at Bonnie instead of at the real threat. Finn was more than a little disgusted to realize that the various princesses seemed more afraid of the candy monarch and her genius with weaponry and technology than they were afraid of the lich.

Ragnhild had an explanation for it. Though she didn't share the fear, she did understand the sentiment. Bonnie was the terror they knew. Most of the current crop of princesses rose to prominence _after_ the lich's last public attempt to destroy Ooo, and Bonnie had covered up the subsequent escapes and the business with Prismo the Wishmaster. They didn't really see the threat he represented. As for the Ice Tiara, most of the princesses thought of Simon as a bit of a buffoon, which, honestly, he had been. There had been something quite a bit _darker_ about the Tiara's magic, though. Maybe it was the fact that it was born of a demon's might, or maybe it was the undeniable fact that Simon's deranged mind had envisioned Simone as the evil being he only _wished_ he could be. The Ice Tiara's victim had been more cunning and prone to violence than the Ice Crown's pawn. Finn knew it as he knew Simone, and he knew that they underestimated the danger of the Tiara at their peril.

Unfortunately, they couldn't get the differences and the dangers through to the people in position to make a decision on a course of action, and Bonnie was at her wit's end. Whether it was Lizard Princess's suspicions about the Ice Tiara being used against her people or Wildberry's suspicions about Bonnie's true motivations, they couldn't break the deadlock. Now they had just one hope left–put together a coalition to at least _find_ the people responsible and retrieve what was stolen before it was put to evil use. That idea at least was getting traction, if only because Wildberry distrusted Bonnie so much. The little Berry Person had hinted and suggested throughout the conference that she suspected Bonnie of stealing the Tiara herself. Fortunately, in spite of her rising temper, the candy monarch didn't rise to the bait.

Now, as the gathering sat themselves after spending a long lunch cooling off, the guest of honor came strolling in. This was the day Cherry was supposed to deliver her report. She'd been meeting with the Cupola the last few days, doing her best to wring information out of people who may very well have some idea just what was going on. Finn hoped she had. Things were far more dangerous than he liked just now.

The little woman blew in with Thor and Star at her back, and she came down the aisle dressed in a dynamite number in blue velvet. Hip-hugging and sexy, it emphasized the fact that his evil girlfriend was a very beautiful lady. She said not a word as she brushed past Finn and sashayed down past the place where Ragnhild sat. That startled Finn–and left Ragnhild staring too. The little woman went straight up to the seat that had been draped in black-velvet–the one that had always been held open for Mafia Princess. She'd never taken the time to come out of her fortified tower, and, honestly, that place had as much been her prison as her sanctuary. Now Cherry sat down in her place, put her arms on the table, and waited.

She didn't wait long. The room erupted, with Bonnie completely unable to calm the tumult. Fortunately, Phoebe had come down dressed to quell the outrage. All she needed to do was stand up in that reddish-black armor, and the shouting died immediately. Turning to Bonnie, the elemental woman said, "you were saying?" Bonnie turned to Cherry Cream Soda, a frown crinkling her lovely face, and said, "Ms. Soda. You are not in order. That seat is reserved for..." "I'm well aware of just who the seat's reserved for, Princess Bubblegum," Cherry interrupted. "The Cupola has spoken. I am now elected Princess of the Underworld, effective as of midnight last night."

There was a renewed uproar at that news, though Bonnie was able to quell this one a little more effectively. "I see," said Bonnie. "And what do you have to report regarding the matter of the stolen artifact?" Cherry looked her former ruler straight in the eye and said, "unfortunately, I am unable to speak on this matter at this time. The Cupola has decided that it is _they_ who should deal with the individuals in question." Bonnie was outraged, and she shouted, "that's not what we discussed! You were supposed to find out who was behind this! I order you to tell us this instant!" "We are _equals_ , Your Highness," Cherry replied. "As Capo Tutti di Capo, I am not required to obey any edicts you issue. The Cupola is electing to sanction the individuals in question. That is all I'm at liberty to say at this time."

The room erupted then, with the same factions singing a new tune. They all wanted to pile on the new Mafia Princess. As Finn watched in horror, more and more ugly accusations got made and open threats got leveled at Cherry. Some of the princesses suggested they would have her arrested on sight. Others suggested that they would declare war on the gangs and have them rounded up. Cherry didn't bother responding, and for that Finn was grateful. He well knew just how much trouble she could raise in return. After a long few minutes of listening to all the shouting, she finally rose, turned, and walked out the way she'd come in.

Finn rushed after her, catching up to her out in the hallway. He grabbed for her arm, but Thor blocked him. The two men stood there a moment, sizing each other up. Finn knew he could take the Warrior-Kingdom berserker, but he also had some idea just what that would do to his daughter. Mercifully, Cherry pushed Thor aside, choosing to deal with this herself. Thor stepped back, but his eyes were still on Finn, his loyalties every bit as conflicted as the legendary hero's loyalties.

"Congratulations," Finn growled. It didn't come out anywhere near polite. "For the record," said Cherry, "I didn't choose this." "Oh," Finn muttered. "It sure seemed like you were driving the train in there." He jerked his head towards the conference room to indicate the meeting she'd just blown up. "Do you have any idea what's at stake," he demanded? "We're at _war_!" Cherry didn't let him even finish the thought. "Grow up, Finn," she retorted–as cutting a remark as she'd ever used on him. "Not every problem can be solved with a sword." Shaking her head, she said, "I thought you'd learned that." Without a further word, she turned and started walking again.

Finn watched her walk out, wondering if he'd see her again. His crazy life just seemed to be getting worse. What was he going to say to Van? When she reached the palace doors, she went out, not even bothering to look back, and Finn flinched at the sound of the door slamming. When he turned from watching his son's mother walk out of their lives, he found his daughter standing there, looking as if she was in torment herself. He wanted to ask, but he feared unleashing the storm that waited behind her eyes.

"She tried, daddy," Star murmured. Her voice was choked with pain. "She tried everything." But, much like Bonnie's hands were so often tied by the other princesses, Cherry's hands had been tied by the Cupola. They had the power to put her in her position, and they had the power to remove her. Glancing up into her father's blue-blue eyes, the little woman said, "she tried her best. You-you'd have been proud of her." Bonnie's voice called out to them, saying, "we need to talk. Now."

Son and daughter followed the Candy Kingdom's monarch into a small chamber off the main conference room. Finn could hear the sounds of the meeting breaking up, and he could hear Phoebe doing her best to keep the various factions there from completely going out of control. Bonnie settled behind her desk, turned to Star, and said, "talk." Sniffing back tears, Star said, "we spent the last week trying to figure out if any of the other crime bosses were involved..." "And," Bonnie demanded? Glancing away, Star said, "there's one. I can't mention the name." "Why not," demanded the princess. "Royal Promise," Star rumbled. "I had to swear a Royal Promise not to reveal the goings on in the Cupola in order to participate."

Bonnie flushed. She would have been able to sit in the meeting–and even _speak_ –if she'd attended. She had that right, just as Cherry now had the right to sit in her deliberations. Wildberry's demands for a meeting had derailed that. She'd hoped Star would have it covered, but she hadn't anticipated the Cupola choosing a new leader so quickly. Warrior Kingdom was still leaderless after _decades_ of chaos and civil strife. "She had to take control," Star said. The way she said it was so cryptic, it left Finn frowning. What did that mean, exactly? Bonnie murmured, "they were going to side with the plotters, weren't they?" Star said nothing, but Bonnie had the bit in her teeth. She began to pace.

She saw now. She saw the fine line Cherry was walking. She saw how the younger woman was playing the game too. Star was allowed in but sworn to silence. Still, a smart person could pick a lot out of someone just by their physical responses to a question. That was something an attorney knew. "So they were going to side with the plotters, but she derailed them," sighed Bonnie. "Good to know. Was the election close, Star?" "There was a lot of fighting and argument," Star replied, her voice showing the conflict she was under. She was trying to tell them what she could without telling them what she'd seen. The answer Star gave them wasn't the answer to his princess's question, but Finn thought Star's expression told Bonnie the truth. "Our enemy's got influence in the Cupola too, Finn," said the Princess. "Not enough to win election but enough to be dangerous." Which made Finn's stomach very queasy. Cherry was in great danger.

"Alright, Star," said Bonnie. "You may be dismissed. You have my permission to continue your liaison with Thor, if it pleases you..." Star flushed to her hair. At the same time both father and daughter knew why Bonnie had said that. Thor would know things. Cherry might deliberately tell him things that he would pass on to Star in pillow-talk. The wood nymph wizard got out of there, leaving them alone. As she shut the door, Bonnie suggested that they might talk some more later. With a nod, Star shut the door behind her.

"Prepare yourself, Finn," said Bonnie. "She's playing a dangerous game." Finn nodded. He knew. Coming to his side, Bonnie slipped her arms around her dear, dear man and said, "I know she... means a lot to you, Finn." The big man embraced his first love and held her tight, saying, "I... I've made my peace with the way things are, Peebles. This is the way things are. I love a woman that I'm not supposed to love. She's the wife of a good friend and a good dude that I lost a long time ago, and I... want to take care of her. For him. Because he can't be here. But she chose to go down this road. If it comes to that... Van and I... We'll go to her grave, if that's all we can do." And he would absolutely, _savagely_ punish whoever hurt Cherry. Sniffing back tears, Bonnie nodded.

Stepping back, Finn said, "I love a lot of women I'm not supposed to love. How are you doing, PB. Really?" "Scared, Finn," Bonnie sniffed. "There are moments where I'm scared witless." Which was saying a lot for his totally unflappable girlfriend. "You were right, Finn," said Bonnie. "We... should have buried the Ice-Tiara. I... I thought I could control it, but you were right all along." Since they were making admissions, Finn admitted, "you were right, too, PB. I should have taken Sweet-P to the Night-O-Sphere." "Oh, Finn," chuckled Bonnie. "You're not capable of an act so cold and cruel. I... You wouldn't be the man I love if you did that." Shaking her head, Bonnie said, "I better get back inside. Phoebe might need my help."

Bonnie's return reignited an ugly debate with Wildberry accusing her of secretly using Cherry to replace one of her colleagues. Finn knew it kind of fit. Being nearly a thousand years old, Bonnie often thought _very_ differently from her supposed peers–almost ruthlessly so. She thought nothing of manipulating even her loved ones, so it stood to reason she could whack Mafia Princess and put her own tame crime boss in the dead woman's place. She had the history.

Unfortunately, that was just the first of the accusations. There were plenty more to come, some even directed at the Candy Kingdom's Captain of the Guard. Late in the day, a mentally exhausted Finn headed out to his truck, feeling more alone than before. Cherry was more right than he liked to admit. Fionna had replaced Billy as the cause of his worry. She was up against something he couldn't kill–something he couldn't face down with a blade. He might have wanted to say that this was a first, but he'd been dealing with a lot of that the last two years. First with James, then with Bonnie's surprise revelations and their effects on his kids lives, and even with Cherry herself. This latest was just one more. Now it felt like just when he was getting things straight between them, this had come between them.

As he was settling into the seat, running footsteps got his attention. He turned to see Phoebe at the passenger door. Reaching over, he popped the lock and swung the door open. Much to his surprise, the elemental woman hopped in and shut the door. Finn simply stared at her. Smiling back, Phoebe said, "I thought since this was the last day, I'd ride back with you." Blushing, he said, "uh, sure..." He shut his door, started the truck, and set out.

At first there was silence. Phoebe was content to stare out the window, while Finn divided his time between staring at the road and staring at Phoebe. Finally, as they broke out onto the open road, Phoebe murmured, "how are you holding up, babe?" "A little down, Phoebes," he admitted. "A little sad about how things went and a lot worried about Fi." Nodding, Phoebe said, "I know, hon. But we're gonna' get through this. This is a setback. That's all. At least you know about the curse now." Finn chuckled, "yeah. _After_ I already had kids!" The two wizards had sealed the curse inside him. Nothing like locking the barn when the horses were gone.

The pair had a laugh about that. Phoebe moved the conversation onward. She had a lot to say about her fellow princesses, and she kept him howling laughter as they zipped through late evening traffic. From slutty Toast Princess, who'd been shamelessly hitting on Ragnhild's guards, to staid, pushy Wildberry, she had a lot to say. She even had a few jabs for Bonnie–more out of reflex than anything. Finn laughed at all of it, not least because she had them all pegged so well. It did sort of helping being one of the _younger_ princesses.

Rolling up on the treehouse, Finn parked the truck, jumped out, and headed for the door, still laughing, with Phoebe at his side. Climbing the stairs, Finn stepped out into his kitchen to find a pair of notes on the table. Lollipop had been by to clean up. She'd been astonished to find that the house wasn't as big a mess as she'd been expecting from days of Finn being alone. She'd left him more food and changed out the 'scratchy' sheets she'd found on the bed after doing the laundry. Finn blushed to his hair. "Looks like Star had somewhere else to be," said the Flame King. She was staring down at the other note. Finn blushed again, for a different reason. His little girl was grown up and dating. More to the point, Bonnie was hoping to use that to _pump_ Thor for information. The big man didn't think it was Thor who would be getting pumped tonight, though.

"C'mon," said Phoebe. "I'll make you something." As Finn pondered what to say to Star about her current circumstances, Phoebe bustled around the kitchen, munching on coal and working on his dinner. It was the genie outfit today. He hadn't seen the pantaloons and belly-baring top in more than twenty years, and it was just as sexy now as it had been for a young boy on the cusp of manhood. Maybe it was more so, given the bangin' bod Phoebes had grown into. Nibbling at a chunk of coal as she shoved the roast into the oven, the Flame King asked, "checking out my butt again?" Finn blushed but gave her an honest, if sheepish, nod. "Yeah," he said, "you've got one of the best around." Phoebe stopped in mid-nibble and stared. With a shrug, he said, "I've seen some nice ones. Yours is one of the best." Which, from a man who'd been married to Simone for twenty years, was saying a lot.

While Finn worked at his dinner, Phoebe worked at a cup of tea, sipping away happily, while they talked about the goings on in the Fire Kingdom. Phoebe had come to learn just how difficult it was to maintain her rigid world view. After the sixtieth time the same courtier told her she was an asshole to her face, she'd been a little relieved for some of the truth to go underground again. She still tried to maintain her own honesty, and she expected that of people who were close to her, but she'd relaxed the rigid rules for her courtiers. Sometimes the King didn't really need to know how the courtiers really felt about her personally. As long as the work got done and their reports were truthful, that was enough.

Done with dinner, the pair moved into the living room. Settling beside her new/old boyfriend, the beautiful elemental girl watched the play of emotions on his face. Finn didn't hesitate to take her hand in his, finding it even firmer than before. There was a feeling of _texture_ that hadn't quite been there before today. He almost felt like he could feel her fingerprints. His face turned towards hers, and he found her smiling more than a little. "I convinced my doctor to let me take a stronger dose," she said. "He was a little worried, but I told him that I was feeling a little stressed by this stuff with the Lich." Finn's mouth came open, and she shut it with her hot lips.

This time, the feel wasn't like scalding water. It was like a perfect bath on a perfect summer day–or a dip in warm lake water. In short, she felt _just right_. Stroking his chest, as she broke that kiss, Phoebe told him, "I... saw you putting that salve on..." Finn blushed. "You should have told me," she admonished him. Finn replied, "I was happy with what I had, Phoebes. I didn't want to blow it again by asking for too much." That got a reaction, but not one he was expecting. A single tear–an ethereal snowflake made of flame–dropped from her left eye. As the tears fell, sizzling, to the floor, Finn did his best to kiss them away in spite of the pain they caused him.

Phoebe's tears soon turned to soft sighs as Finn's hands stroked her flanks delicately, teasing her suddenly-firm flesh. Closing her eyes, she lost herself in the feel of him caressing her body. Instead of the strange, indistinct feel of her from before, he found a firm texture–like Simone's hard tummy. Sliding his hands up, he caressed her heavy boobies through the soft filaments of her top. Phoebe reached out and began to caress his hard body, finding that she very much liked the feel of that. No tinfoil in the way. Just her fingers on his skin. She hadn't given him a chance, and she hadn't even bothered to ask why he'd done what he did. Now that she knew, she felt like _she_ was the fool. All those years. If they had discovered the medicine, they could have been happy together all this time.

Finn kissed his way down Phoebe's cheek to her dainty ear. He startled her by nibbling at the delicate earlobe. "Wow," he whispered. "You're amazing." He wasn't so bad himself. And strangely enough, in this state the water in his body didn't hurt so much. Phoebe stroked his big pecker through his pants. She'd been working steadily at controlling her hunger enough that she didn't tear up his clothes, but in a way this was worse. The feel of those too-warm fingers against him was maddening. He wanted more. It was time to get _her_ out of her clothes. Hefting the curvy vixen, Finn headed for the stairs.

Arriving in the bedroom, Finn set Phoebe down just long enough to locate the heavy comforter, tossing it over the bedding that Lollipop left. Turning to his girlfriend, he picked her up and all but tossed her onto the bed. Bending down, he began to caress her heavy knobs again. Pushing his hands away, the elemental woman sat up, saying, "like before. Do it like the other day..." Twisting and gyrating, she wriggled free of her top, tossing it aside. When she was laying down on the bed again, Finn got to grips with her big boobies, running his hands all over them. Leaning down, he kissed the one on the right, teasing her flesh a little with the tip of his tongue. A shiver went through her at the chill feel of that. It felt so strange, but she liked it. She really liked it.

The big man's fingers continued to caress her flesh, while he nibbled, licked and sucked at her tender flesh. Sometimes he would run the tip of his tongue down into the valley between them. Others, he would nibble at the tender nips on the end. He was driving her crazy. Eyes closed, head thrashing back and forth, she clawed at the bed with her fingers. Seeing how excited she was getting, Finn reached down between her meaty legs and began rubbing her hot snatch through her pants. "Finnnnn," she shrieked, as her back arched. "Oh, Finn." Sliding down her body, the big man grabbed the waist of those sexy pants and dragged them off her, tossing them over where the top had landed.

He'd never gone down on her. He'd wanted to. After the time she jerked him off in the Fire Kingdom, he'd wanted to go down on her. Simone and E loved that. All the girls he'd been with seemed to like it, and he wanted to do Phoebes too. Pressing his face against her hot snatch, inhaling her strange scent–like incense–he experimentally swabbed his tongue against her button. "Finnnnn," she wailed, and her hips jumped up, smacking him in the chin. Finn kept going, teasing her pleasure-button with his tongue and finger, even sliding his finger in and out of her. It wasn't quite like the other girls. He didn't get girl-juice, but it didn't take long at all before she was clawing at his hair. "Finnnn," she screamed.

She lay there panting when he climbed up on the bed. Smiling down at her, he stood up and pulled off his shirt. Then, as she continued to watch, he slowly slipped out of his pants. By the time he was down to his boxers, she was licking her lips. The anticipation was eating her up! It was all she could do not to just burn the clothes off him. Laying down beside her, he stared her in the eyes and gave her an impish grin. "Finn," she whined. "Aren't you...?" "Nah," said Finn, as he lay back. His dong was hard as a rock, and she wanted it bad. "Come get it, little girl," he teased. Phoebe almost punched him. Horny as she was, though, she got up and got on top of him lickety-split. Grabbing his dong, she pressed it against her horny snatch. Then she slowly eased down.

Biting her lip, the beautiful girl moaned softly. Closing her eyes for a moment, she savored the feel of that. Finn wasn't doing half bad himself. The feel of her pussy was incredible. Sitting up, he reached for her boobies, but Phoebe shoved him back down again. "Uh-uh," she said. "My turn." The sexy fireball began to ride his hard pecker, sliding up and down his pole–slowly at first. Feeling her hot oven squeezing him, Finn clawed at the bed himself. "Like it baby," she whispered as she experienced her first orgasm. "Shit yeah," he groaned. "Glob, Phoebes!"

Grinning now, she began to go faster, riding his pecker like a champ. Finn sat up, slipped his arms around her and grabbed a big handful of her ass, squeezing it and kneading the firm _flesh_ as she went faster still. Their hips smacking into each other as they clawed and nipped at each other's bodies, the two went over the edge. "Oooooh," howled Phoebe as she felt him shoot off inside her. There was a lot of it today. They'd both been too tired the last few days to even try. Then, panting and gasping for breath, the two collapsed back onto the bed.

After a while, the elemental woman eased herself up on her elbows so she could look at Finn. Phoebe ran her fingers through Finn's hair, feeling– _really feeling_ –the soft strands for the first time. It was still there. She was deeply, madly in love with him, and it didn't matter how much they seemed to injure each other. It hurt so good. "Got one more of those in you, babe," she whispered. Finn gave her a look of puzzlement. Reaching down, she stroked his semi-hard pecker with her long, thin fingers and said, "well... Who knows how long it'll be before we ever get to do this again, babe..." With an impish smile, she said, "matter of fact..."

Sliding down his body, pressing those massive boobies against his hardened frame, she left trails of heat down his skin like liquid fire. When she was down south near his belly button, she grinned up at him before engulfing his dong in her very-warm mouth. Finn's fingers clenched around a double handful of the sheets. It was like when Simone used to suck him off when she still wore the Ice Tiara... only _opposite_.

Elsewhere, Patrick Petrikov awoke from a terrible dream where Fionna begged him to set her free. Her soul was chained to his, and he was holding her here. She was in torment–trapped between life and death–and she wanted him to let her go on to her final reward. Huffing and puffing in terror, the young man glanced across the room to where his beloved lay. She deserved better than this. He knew what he had to do now. No more argument. It was time for action.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32:

Holding up his glass, Wolf admonished his colleague, "nah, man! Stay away from wood nymphs! They'll fuck you up!" The two wizards had been drinking in a corner of the bar and talking for hours now. The Grass Wizard acknowledged that with a nod, "man, she was always feedin' me margaritas. Come home from work, there it was. Thought she was the second coming, Wolf!" Wolf rolled his eyes. That was how it always started. You let a nymph give you those eyes, next thing you knew, she was in your place. Shortly after that, you were on your knees with an arrow against your neck.

"I know it now, Wolf," said the corpulent wizard. "Maddie planned to do me. She'd already bought the rat poison!" She'd been hinting at getting hitched, talking about buying a ring. She'd even agreed to the prenup. "Oh, boy," laughed the wtch-doctor! "Another dope with a prenup! Won't even matter when the guard comes knockin' on account ya beat her! You'll be in jail or shot!" Nodding, the Grass Wizard asked, "whatcha' think o'that doctor?" With a shrug, Wolfie admitted, "tried to get some o'that last time I was here. Turned me down flat." She hadn't been nasty about it, just said no, which sucked worse somehow because he couldn't even call her a bitch.

As the Grass Wizard tipped back his glass for another sip, the Wolf suddenly shot to his feet, shouting, "no, no, no, no, no...!" "What," demanded his colleague? "Kid, no," howled the Wolf-Wizard! "What're you talking about," the Grass Wizard responded? Everybody in the bar was staring at them, strippers included. "It's that kid," said Wolfie! "He's gonna' do something dumb to that girl!" Having learned his lesson when a possessed Finn escaped his lab, he'd put a spying-spell on Fionna the Human's room just in case. "Oh, shit," howled the Grass Mage! "Finn will kill us!" Throwing money on the counter, the two men tore out of there.

Up in Fionna's hospital room, Patrick had finished painting the room with bright, ritual colors. He had the symbol of his love for Fionna in his hands. The door was locked and barred, and he was ready to start. Drawing the covers down to bare her naked body, he whispered the words of his ritual. Working slowly, the wizard anointed his beloved with a pinkish-red unguent that he'd crafted from shards of the crystal sword. From head to toe, he daubed her beautiful body, breaking off pieces of crystal periodically to add to the symbols decorating her body.

Down in the Underworld, Marceline was ushered into the presence of Death by a nervous Peppermint Butler. He hadn't come by since telling her about his master's efforts to restore the lich. Marceline had bided her time, hoping to find a means to escape. Now, with Mafia Princess's news, she feared time was running out for Ooo and her friends. She'd agonized over the choice she had to make, worrying over how she would square it with Finn and Bonnie. In the end, she had to save them, even if it cost her their love.

"Well, Mar-Mar," said Death. "Wha's shakin'?" "I fucking _hate_ that name," the Vampire reflexively snarled! That set the tone for the meeting. Her foe had already gotten under her skin. She knew exactly where he got that name. Irritated, Marceline muttered, "I hope he fucking burns in the Nigh O-Sphere!" Chuckling in amusement, Death leaned back in his heavily bolstered leather chair. He asked, "have you thought about my offer?" Marceline took a deep breath. Pausing, she took another.

"Alright," she said. "five souls a year. Evil ones. Only the most evil souls on Ooo." The evil skeleton laughed. He laughed at her. "That was the _old_ deal, toots," he told her. "That deal left the table when you tried to smack me around." Marceline's jaw came open, and she just stared at him. "Good souls need their rest too, Mar-Mar," said Death. "Ten souls," Marceline retorted. "All evil." "Nah, sweets," said Death. "I'm drivin' this train. You may have your daddy wrapped around your pinky, but you're in _my_ place now." Rising, he coldly told her, "sit your ass down!"

The vampire sat herself with alacrity. "Now then," said the Avatar of Mortality, as he began to pace around the desk. "You're mine, kiddo... Technically, I can _make_ you do what I want, but I don't like to work that way." Marceline flinched at those hard words. "What I want," said he, "is your willingness. I want your willing commitment to supply me with souls, Marceline Abadeer. Not with your nose turned up. Not cherry-picking and nit-picking what I ask you to do." "You know I can't do that," she retorted. "Glad to see you still have a voice," he replied.

He sat down on the edge of the desk. Reaching out, he tipped her chin up towards him. Defiantly, Marceline glared back at him. "Better," he said. "Now, Marceline. How much is your freedom worth? Huh?" "I want my son back," she growled. Shaking his head, Death said, "that train's left the station, Marcy. He fucked up. Couldn't help dipping his toe in evil, that boy. Broke a lot of hearts and wrecked a bunch of lives. Had three pretty little girls that he defiled come through here after they slit their wrists. He dumped them, and they did themselves all in one week. And you know what? He doesn't even care enough to see what happened to them. He doesn't even know. Lot o'bad karma there. He's mine..."

Those words about her precious son cut the vampire to her heart. How had she gone so wrong in raising him? The answer was as simple as it was obvious. He didn't have a dad. If she was honest with herself, Marshall hadn't really had a mom. He'd raised himself with a lot of bad examples around him showing him how to be a terrible person. It was a miracle he had any heart left in him as it was. That was all the more reason she had to save him now. He was on the ragged edge right now, and it was all her fault. "I thought we were dealing here," said the vampire. "You want souls. I'll get them. How many? That's what we're talking about, isn't it?"

The two dickered for what seemed like an hour, when it couldn't really have been more than a few minutes. Mortality drove a fierce bargain, constantly seeking to ratchet up the evil that he asked of the Vampire Queen. He wanted souls–as many as he could get. Marceline found herself fighting a holding action, doing her best to limit the damage to her own tarnished soul and psyche. If she went down that road, she would be no better than the creature who had been Vampire King. How would she protect Marshall from further sinking into evil if she agreed to what he was asking? Do what I say, not what I do? Like that had worked with _her_!

Finally, though, after sparring volubly for one epic five minute stretch, the entity that was Death, produced a contract, announcing, "deal! One hundred a year. Evil only. You pick 'em. Twenty-five a quarter." Marceline blew out a breath. That had been tough. Death passed the contract across to her. Reaching into a pocket, he drew out a pen, saying, "just sign there. Initial each page." Marceline hesitated. Her mind kept going back to the same question over and over again, much as it had through this entire process. What would Bonnie say? What would Finn say? Those were the two most precious lives in her existence–maybe more than even Marshall.

"Deal's on the table, Mar-Mar," said Death. "Leave here without signing, and, well, it'll be a new deal next time. You see how this goes, right?" Staring at the contract before her, Marceline did indeed see. If she left here without signing, next time it would be two-hundred. Or four-hundred. She had her son's life. She had her own life back. _Just one hundred people have to die, Marceline,_ she thought. Rising, she said, "no." Death scowled at her. Just to drive the point home, the Vampire took the contract and tore it up in front of his face. "Fuck. You," she said.

Nodding, he said, "you're gonna' regret that." "Yeah," said Marceline. "About that. I choose to take the step." He shot to his feet. Coolly, the undead teen said, "you told me that I'm one step away from death. I choose to take the step. I choose to forgo the second chance. Send me to the Night-O-Sphere." Now he saw. He'd wondered where she was going with that. For a moment's blind panic, he'd thought that maybe she was poisoning the well–doing the sour-grapes thing. Now he realized that she had realized what her dual-nature offered her. If she landed in Hunson's domain, it wouldn't be as a tormented soul. She would be landing as Princess and probably second only to the blue dufus in authority. He came very close to cussing her. She had him there. He'd lose all his power over her if she did that. Instead he greeted her choice with the words, 'get out.' Marceline turned and stalked out. It appeared negotiations were over. Permanently.

Back in the Candy Clinic, Wolfie and the Grass Mage came skidding up to the end of the hall in a state of panic. Through his spy-spell, Wolfie could feel the power building. There was a nurse and a guard outside the door, shouting at the boy inside. _He's sealed it,_ thought the Wolf. The litany of terror rose in his mind once more. The entire way across town, the words had repeated in his mind, over and over again. Finn would kill them. Finn was gonna' kill them. "Help me get the door down," the Grass Wizard shouted! The two wizards shoved the nurse and security guard aside and started laying into the door with blasting spells and heavy-weight magic only to discover that the kid was pretty good. He was far better than they could have anticipated.

Inside, Patrick's mind was in the ritual. Wielding the remaining shard of the crystal sword like a dagger, he knelt over his lady. Just as the two wizards burst through the door, shattering it into flinders, the young man stabbed that shard of hardened crystal into Fionna the Human Girl's chest, burying it deep into her heart. Patrick heard somebody scream, but he was too busy pouring all his love and all his hopes and all his dreams into the wizardry he was crafting. As the two wizards rushed into the room, there arose a blinding light that stopped them in their tracks. It spread out from Fionna, filling the whole of the room, and lighting up the night outside like a beacon.

For several long minutes that light poured forth like the blood Patrick had spilled. Then, to the nurse's horror, something terrible came pouring out of that light–an ugly coal-dark shadow. The two wizards darted back from it, and the nurse actually fainted dead away. Patrick had been expecting that. Reaching out, chanting softly, his hands glowing with power, the young wizard grabbed the deadly curse, ruthlessly compressed it into a ball, and forced it into the containment vessel he had crafted deep in Fionna's beautiful chest.

Fionna woke to the sight of two dudes in wizard robes hauling her boyfriend off the bed where she was laying. Sitting bolt upright, her bountiful boobies flopping around, she got one good look around her before both wizard's turned to face her. At the same time, realizing she was naked as the day she was born and covered in some kind of crazy wiz-biz, Fionna saw red! "Which one o'you donks decided it was ok t'paint my _boobies_ ," she snarled! That was when the beating started. One arm pressed against her chest in a half-hearted attempt to cover herself, Fionna the Human Girl proceeded to kick the shit out of both wizards, dribbling them around the room before kicking them out on their asses.

"Shit," groaned Wolfie, as he staggered to his feet outside. "That really hurt, man." "Better than what we'd have gotten from Finn," sighed the Grass Wizard, "and at least we got a peep." "Man," said the Wolf, "fast as she moved, I didn't even see titties. All I saw was stars." The pair went staggering up the hallway to the elevator, bound for the bar and some liquid therapy while back in the hospital room, Fionna was busy scrounging up something to cover herself. Laying on the floor near the doorway, Patrick watched her in fascination. It was like she'd never been gone. Same old Fionna. "For the record," said he, "your dad went and got them to try saving your life." Fionna whirled around. "W-what," she stammered? "You were dieing," he chuckled. "You were under a curse..." Fionna's eyes got big.

Exhausted as he was, he just wanted to sleep. He hadn't really slept in days–just a couple of hours this night and a terrible nightmare where Fionna begged him to end her life. "Your dad's under a curse," said Patrick. "The Grand Master cursed him. His speed– _your_ speed–is part of a curse. The more you use it, the more you like it, but the faster it kills you. You're... You're skin and bones, babe." Fionna glanced down at herself, finding that her ribs were showing. And she was really flippin' hungry. "Can't do much about the second," said Patrick. "Let's get you back in bed." Fionna turned back to the bed and found the sheets soaked in blood. Rising, Patrick got a good look at his handiwork. "Maybe not this bed," he murmured.

Taking her by the arm, he steered her out the door and down the hall. The security guard had disappeared–likely run off in terror. Patrick would have to do something about that. "Who died," asked Fionna? "You did," said Patrick, as he steered her into the first empty room. "I had to kill you to get the curse to let go of you for a moment." Her jaw hung. Patrick made her sit down on the bed while he got out a hospital gown. "It was trying to eat your heart," he said. "I had to give you a new one." Fionna stared down at her chest. There was a long, thin scar along the edge of her left booby.

Fionna stared at her boyfriend in shock as he wobbled his way back from the closet. Handing her a gown, he said, "the dye will come off. You'll just have to take a hot shower when you're able. I was marking out the ley-lines on your body." "Or being creepy, maybe," she teased. "Maybe," he said with a smile and a chuckle. Sitting down beside her, he took her left hand and said, "I... uh... I had to sacrifice the Crystal Sword, babe. I needed it as part of the spell." "Nuh-uh," said Fi. "It's right here." She held out her hand to him. To his shock, the sword was there in the palm of her hand.

Just then the security guard came back with a half-dozen of his pals and several burly orderlies. "Looks like I gotta' go, hon," said Patrick. The pack of he-men pig-piled on the exhausted wizard, pummeling him in spite of Fionna's shrieks of terror and pleading. Patrick got hauled away like a sack of meat, while the nurses rushed in and began fussing over Fionna.

Finn didn't get the news about his daughter's recovery until the following morning. Then he spent an hour springing Patrick from jail before he was finally able to get into the hospital to see his kid. Lollipop was there with Van, and Fionna was enthusiastically enjoying the little fellow's company. Van, it appeared, was already a lady's man as he hammed it up for his big sister. Still, when Finn came through the door, Fi greeted him with an enthusiastic, _daddy_!"

As Finn moved in to hug his beloved little girl, Lollipop intercepted him. Blushing, he told his _mistress_ , "I took the last of Dr. P's pills the night before last..." He'd waited an extra day before trying to see anybody. Mollified, she gave him a hug and kiss on the cheek. She smelled nice, and he almost didn't want to let go. Stepping back, Lollipop announced, "what's this I hear about a curse?" With a sheepish chuckle, Finn said, "I'm over it... I wanted to kick that old man's ass, but it let me do what I needed to do..." "That's one of the stupidest things I've heard you say, Finn," growled the candy person as she twisted his ear. As Finn goggled, the tall woman stormed out, all but slamming the door after her.

"She's kinda' right, daddy," sighed Fionna. Finn turned back to his daughter, who looked very thoughtful. "We need t'start thinkin' about people who care about us, daddy," she sighed. She was thinking of Patrick. "He's ok," Finn told her. "He's resting. Dr. P's looking at him..." "Daddy, he almost killed himself for me," sobbed the blonde! Finn rushed over and hugged her. Softly Finn whispered, "sometimes we have to hurt them a little to protect them a lot, sweetie. That's love, babe. I'd give up my tomorrows for you and anybody else in my family. Patrick... I'm sure he feels the same." Sniffing back tears, Fionna nodded.

Dr. Princess came in then. "Good morning," she announced. Crossing the room, she kicked Finn off the bed and began examining the patient. She wasn't happy with the unorthodox cure, but she was delighted by the result. Now she told Finn to turn his back. Unfastening Fionna's gown, she pressed a stethoscope to the patient's chest and listened for a moment. Frowning, she asked, "how do you feel, Fionna?" "Hungry," the pretty teen replied. "What's up with Patrick?" The doctor replied, "resting. He's exhausted, dehydrated, and suffering a few bumps and lumps from last night." Fionna chuckled. "We'll have to have you on a treadmill," said the doctor. She wanted confirmation that the young woman's new _heart_ was working properly. Rising, she motioned for Fionna to button up. "In the meantime," she added, "I have a nice, healthy diet for you to get your weight back up."

Finn turned to find the doctor slipping her stethoscope back in her pocket. Walking up to him, she fingered his collar and said, "I should check those injuries, since you're here." Finn flushed, partly because of who gave him those injuries and partly because she was totes in his space. Still, an order was an order. Finn unbuttoned his shirt, letting the good doctor examine the places where Phoebe had scorched him. The salve had done wonders. They were mostly healed. "Good enough," she said. "I'm pleased that you've not made them any worse." Finn's blush deepened at the way she said that. It was almost like she knew what he'd been up to. As Finn refastened his shirt, the doctor got on her way, admonishing him to keep his visit short and to take Van with him when he left.

As Finn spent a little time with his second oldest child, the woman who'd accidentally inflicted those wounds came riding into her homeland after being absent for days. She was a little disappointed by her colleagues–a _lot_ disappointed–but that was par for the course. There was a reason she and Bonnie had been struggling the last seventeen years to get their little project off the ground. This latest business, with fools conspiring to hold the entirety of Ooo for ransom just served to point up the need for their idea at the same time that it was serving to further divide the kingdoms. _But we'll get through this,_ thought Phoebe, as she alit from the back of her Fire Wolf. Cooler heads always prevailed, and they seemed to always inch a step closer to the moment where they could bring the secret Army of Ooo out into the open. Bonnie had a knack for the scheming needed to get the princesses to agree.

Leaving her mount in the hands of the stablehand, Phoebe went up into her palace, finding that things were, as always, well in hand. Cinnamon Bun had the latest reports on the Fire Kingdom's defenses. Her brother had an answer for the dangerous leak on her border with Froyo Kingdom–a new way to keep the dangerous waters of the Boiling Sea away. Phoebe dove into work with a new zest.

As the weeks passed, the pleasant memories of her all-too-brief encounters with Finn sustained her through protracted conflicts with her court, her neighbors, and the endless tide of work that was her lot in life. She got better at keeping a handle on her temper, aided by her medication. She developed a flare for solving problems without theatrics, and she became a mellower ruler–a fact that nearly everyone in the court noticed. As time went on, Cinnamon Bun became accustomed to the new facts of their life, returning to his role as her Champion and bodyguard.

Five weeks after her glorious _vacation_ with Finn, the Flame King rose from her bed, yawning and stretching, feeling good in spite of Finn's absence from her life. She wasn't sure if they would ever have that again, but she was delighted to have finally gotten that out of her system. She could focus now. She found that she was finally able to put her mind firmly on the tomorrows she still had. After all, she was going to live a good long while–another two-hundred years or so if she took care of herself. There was a lot of work still to do for her people, and she was insistent on getting it done.

Throwing back the covers and climbing out of bed, the Flame King strode to the window to greet the day. She had spent a lot of mornings staring out at the dark, sulfurous clouds of her homeland, wishing she was, somehow, back in the grasslands–back in the hut Finn had built for her. She'd daydreamed about the simple life she'd had in those days. Wake up, go walking in the fields–exploring her new world–and hang out with Finn and Jake. At least when they weren't working. It had taken a long time for her to get used to being home again. Now she felt that melancholy again. _This is for the best, Phoebe,_ she told herself–just as she'd been telling herself for the last month. She was _helping_ Finn wreck his life, and that wasn't right.

Shaking herself, the elemental woman turned away from the windows and headed out of her bedroom, bound for her private salon. "Morning, CB," she greeted her Champion. He was in his place, same as always, waiting on her. Sitting down at the table, the Flame King asked, "sleep well?" "Yeah," he replied. Jake 2 had woken him up. Again. Still. As soon as Phoebe's butt hit the chair, her one servant came in with breakfast. For CB, it was food imported from the Candy Kingdom–her one concession to luxury. Phoebe made do with more simple fare. Picking up a hunk of coal, the elemental woman began nibbling at it, while she scanned the newspaper. Lost in thought, she was only peripherally aware of her Champion and the maid as she worked her way through the first meal of the day.

As she read about the imminent election for the post of Grand Master of Wizard City, Phoebe became suddenly aware that all was not well in her nether regions. Rubbing at her tummy, she frowned down at her breakfast. Was something wrong with the coal? She'd never had bad coal before. As she pondered what might be wrong with her breakfast, a strange cramp in her stomach caused her to grab for her mouth. As Cinnamon Bun watched, the beautiful elemental girl began belching flames. A surprised and terrified Phoebe went rushing to the bathroom. Long minutes passed, with only the sounds of distress coming out of the lava-closet. Finally, a wobbly Flame King emerged with her hair disheveled, looking a little pale. The excited maid rushed up, grabbed her hands, and shouted, "oh, milady! You're going to have an heir at last!" Phoebe just stared at her.

 **And so ends the 'happy' part of the story... Stay tuned for mucho drama and a shocking plot twist...**


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33:

Finn the Human walked out of the kitchen, wiping off his hands on the dish-rag. The dishes were done. Van was asleep. And Fionna was with Patrick at Simon's place. In short, they were alone. With Phoebe gone home, Marceline vanished, and Bonnie submerged in work–not to mention Simone and E off gallivanting in Wiz City–Lollipop had kind of become his solace. She was the one person who seemed to want to stay.

Just now, his other-other girlfriend was stoking up the fire in the living-room fireplace. Finn walked up behind her, slipped his arms around her, and kissed her cheek. "Mmm," sighed the slim beauty. She loved it when he did that, and she could scarcely understand why Simone and Emeraude had traded work for this. She was stealing, but it was hard to feel bad about it, when the original owners tossed their property in a field and walked away. "Dinner was really good, babe," she murmured. "Now momma wants dessert..." Rubbing her hot little butt against him, the skinny girl showed what kind of dessert she wanted. "I'll get the drinks," said Finn.

Breaking contact, the big man went to the place where Emeraude kept the apple-brandy the family liked so much. It was Tree Trunks' recipe, and he often thought of her when he poured a glass. As he popped the cork, noise from downstairs alerted him that someone was about to enter his home. Stirred up as things still were, the big man put the bottle in the cabinet, grabbed his blade, and headed for the stairs. Sword in hand, he went to the head of the stairs and got something of a shock.

Simone and Emeraude. Home.

His girls were home. For a moment, he just stared at them as if unable to believe his eyes. Huntress opined, "what? You forget what we look like, donk?" Dropping the sword, Finn rushed up to his wife of nearly twenty years, snatched her off her feet and twirled her around, kissing her thoroughly. When he let her down, the beautiful sorceress smiled at him and said, "my, honey. What's gotten into you?" "I think he misses you," chuckled Lollipop. Finn blushed. He wasn't sure how to react to that. Lollipop had the power to wreck him right there and then. At the same time, he wanted to hold his crazy wood nymph too. Snatching up Emeraude, he repeated the same silly scene.

"Breaking the ribs, donk," wheezed the wood nymph. Finn didn't care. He was just so happy to see her. It all came crashing down on him. All the weeks of them being gone. All the time he'd missed them. He wanted to celebrate. In spite of the things he'd done, he wanted to celebrate just getting to see them again. It was crazy, and he knew it.

Glancing at the kitchen, he said, "you missed dinner but... maybe we can go out... celebrate us all being home..." Yawning, Simone said, "it'll have to wait, honey. We're wiped out." They'd only barely gotten out of Wizard City. Yawning and stretching, Emeraude said, "can you walk Lollipop Girl to her place, Finn? I'm'a get a shower and sleep for a week." "Yeah," sighed Finn. "Sure." Yawning, Simone promised they'd do something in the morning. In the now, she and Emeraude went up the stairs to bed.

Finn turned to find his girlfriend putting on her coat. She said not a word about how their evening had been going. Instead, she came to the stairs to wait. Finn gathered up his sword, tucked it into his belt, and motioned for her to precede him down the stairs. The beautiful woman said nothing at all at the door, merely motioning for Finn to put his jacket on. The sullen, unhappy man opened the door and held it as his long time friend walked through. Outside, she said, "you don't have to..." "Yeah," said Finn. "I do. C'mon. Let's get you home."

Down at the end of the drive, they got in Finn's truck and set out. When they were out of sight of the treehouse, Lollipop slipped her arms around Finn's arm and lay her head against his shoulder. Finn murmured, "I don't..." Smiling, she said, "I love you, honey, but I understand. You're married. What were you supposed to do? Create a big, nasty scene when you haven't seen them in _months_?" Finn sighed. He didn't want a scene. If anything he wanted things as they had been. Before Betty and the stupid political campaign. "Pull over," said Lollipop. Finn gave her that puzzled little frown of his. Grinning, she pointed at a spot beside the road, saying, "since _they_ won't give you lovin'... Besides, you still owe me dessert."

Finn pulled over into the shadows off the side of the road. Out here in the empty space of the grasslands, there were a lot of secluded spots like this. Lollipop unzipped the back of her dress and climbed into his lap. Moments later, the two were kissing, while Finn caressed and stroked her soft skin, sliding down the top of her dress to get access. As often as not, Lollipop didn't bother putting on a bra, and his hands were easily able to get to grips with her perky little boobies. Soft sighs escaped her lips as his hands caressed her. Usually they took their time. Tonight, she knew he needed to be home. Slipping a hand down the front of her panties, she rubbed her joy-button to get herself warmed up, while, with her free hand she reached for Finn's dong.

Finn nibbled at her cute little cupcakes, teasing the fat nips by swirling his tongue around them–tasting the sour-apple tang of her sweat. It was kind of crazy, but he liked to go down on her almost as much as Bonnie because he had always liked sour-apple candy. Lollipop moaned softly as she felt his tongue teasing at her tender flesh. She could feel herself getting a little moist. "Mmmm," she moaned. "C'mon, baby. Fuck your lollipop..."

The big man had her out of those damp drawers in a heartbeat. Moments after that, she was enthusiastically riding his pecker, sliding up and down his length and squeezing him with everything she had while Finn practically mauled her cute little butt, squeezing it so hard he left hand-prints. It was always that way. They took their time building up, but when they got going, it was rough and crazy. Starting off fast this time, they got even faster, with the pretty sexpot's narrow hips whipping back and forth in a frenzy as she howled, "oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!" With a hiss of desire that sounded like he was in pain, Finn shot off inside her, clutching her butt hard enough that it hurt.

The had to wait a while for the windows to clear of the steam. Lollipop did a little soul-searching. She would probably move on after this. If the girls came back, well, he kind of belonged to them. She knew them and knew them well, and she had no intention of getting in their way. It had been fun, but Finn was a family man who already had a family.

Finn dropped Lollipop off at her place, then rushed home. Finding the lights out and the house quiet, he came in, locked up, and headed for the kids shower on the main floor. This wasn't the first time he'd come in after his wives had gone to sleep. That was common in the early days when he'd been trying to get a handle on things in the Candy Kingdom.

Wrapping up in a robe, he went upstairs to find both women deeply asleep. He was hurting. He'd be lieing to himself if he didn't admit it. He was still angry about the way they had left here last time, and part of him was tempted to go sleep in his office. At the same time, he knew what that would say to them. It was a gesture he wasn't willing to make. With a heavy sigh, he crossed the room and slipped into bed beside E.

Morning brought a little more clarity. He was a lot less angry and a lot happier about having them home. Rising, he slipped downstairs and cooked up breakfast. By the time the pair got out of bed, he had a feast laid out. Simone greeted the sight of that with a look of complete surprise and more than a little embarrassment. Emeraude looked like she might cry. "I... wanna' fix things," said Finn. That made things worse. The wood nymph did cry. She turned and walked into the bathroom and shut the door.

Simone looked like she might do the same, which said something about the burdens they were carrying. "Hey," said Finn, "we don't need to be serious right this minute. Fi's back with Pat. We'll go visit..." Taking her by the arm, he led her to the table and even drew her chair. Emeraude came out then, looking a little better than before. Finn went and took her hand–which looked like it might start another crying jag. Still the big man led her back to the table and drew the chair for her.

The big man served up a breakfast feast–much like the dinner he'd made for them last time. As she took up her fork, Emeraude had cause to wonder if she'd made the right choice. It was a lot like her aunt said. She was damaging her relationship with Finn. Every day she stayed away, she was making things worse. The secrecy wasn't doing much to help either. They were holding back, when they really needed to be open.

After breakfast, the trio hopped in Finn's truck for the drive in to Simon and Betty's place. On the way, Finn tried to ease them into things with Fionna. There were a few side-effects to Patrick's miracle save, and everyone had been getting used to them, Fionna most of all. Of course the news of their daughters both being nearly killed had the two women in a state of shock. Simone especially was a bit of a mess, spending most of the trip close to tears.

They found the pretty blonde out front of Simon's house chopping wood while wearing a set of worn coveralls and little else. It was a shocking sight that had all three parents blushing as Fionna's huge boobies wobbled about, threatening to pop free with every swing of the axe. Emeraude had always imagined Finn beating some stupid kid–or stupider adult–within an inch of his life over that girl. She was completely oblivious to the way she looked. Her donk loved that girl, and he would have killed for her.

Getting out of the car, Simone immediately took her youngest to task, growling, "what do you think you're doing?" Emeraude was too busy being startled by the streaks of red in the girl's very-pale hair at the moment. Finn had said there were side-effects. "Gettin' my muscles back, mom," Fionna replied. Rolling her eyes, Simone said, "inside, Fionna. Your father can chop the wood. You shouldn't be out here... like that." "Aw, ma," whined the teen. Still, she did as bidden. Finn sighed. Chopping wood. Again. Still. But the girls were home. That was worth something.

Simone followed their daughter into the house, while Emeraude sort of hung around outside. Finn moved to the wood pile, grabbed a log, and started quartering it. An awkward silence hung around them. Finn's mind was on his dilemma. He loved his wives and his kids, but he also loved Bonnie, Marcy, Lollipop, Cherry, Phoebe, and Peebs. He wasn't sure it was fair to just dump them and try to go back to normal with Simone and E. He wasn't even sure that was _possible_. Oh, Lollipop had sort of hinted last night that she would get by, and Bonnie was so often wrapped up in her business that it hardly seemed to make a difference that they were supposed to be dating. At the end of the day though, it was entirely possible for any of the six _others_ to blow the whole business apart.

On her side, Emeraude found herself fighting for words to make him understand how very sorry she was for the things that had gotten said last time she was home. She hadn't really understood just how much she missed him until she walked into her aunt's home. Her aunt was right. She was jeopardizing the central piece of her life. Except she'd already committed herself. What was she going to do? "I'm not mad," he offered. "I'm not gonna' bite your head off." With that opening, Emeraude opened her mouth to speak. Simone promptly shut it by coming out of the house in a fury. " _Finn Mertens_ ," she shouted! "Why didn't you tell us about this curse?!"

Finn straightened from chopping the wooden splint and said, "I _did_ tell you." Getting in his face, she shouted, "you kept this from me! Our daughter was dieing, and you..." "You were in Wiz City," said Finn. "We were handling it. We _did_ handle it." "And were you going to tell me about the Quicksilver Curse," demanded Simone?! Emeraude rushed forward. "Fionna's got the Quicksilver Curse," she stammered? "No," said Finn. "I do. The Grand Master put it on me, when he was supposed to be helping us defeat the aliens." He split the chunk of wood and set the pieces aside then put another piece of wood on the block. "Why didn't you call my father," demanded Simone? With a shrug, Finn said, "Betty wouldn't have let him take the call, Simone. She doesn't take calls from me, remember? Anyways, it's taken care of."

Simone's mouth came open. Emeraude thought it was, quite possibly, the one time Finn had ever just told it like it was. He tip-toed around Simone's feelings. Honestly, if she let herself admit it, he tip-toed around both of them. He put up with a lot o shit from the both of them. "How can you say that about my family," Simone demanded? With a shrug, Finn said, "I've been trying to talk to you about what was going on with Billy. That's fixed too." Simone's face went red hot. "W-what's been going on with Billy," she babbled? Splitting the wood in front of him, Finn replied, "he was thinking about checking out. To be with Junior." Simone sat down on the ground, right where she was, completely heedless of the dress she was wearing. Billy was her darling. Of all the kids, she loved him the most.

"He's ok," said Finn. "W-where is he," burbled Simone? "With his new girlfriend," Finn replied. "N-new girlfriend," babbled the Ice-Queen? "Yeah," said Finn. "He's dating Froyo Princess." "She's old enough to be his mom," howled Emeraude! Finn shrugged. As long as Billy was happy, he was ok with it. Simone was on her feet, face red again. "You're not going to interfere," said Finn. "He's happy. Let him alone." "Fucking some _cougar_ ," howled Simone. She stormed off in the direction of Finn's truck. Finn rolled his eyes. Billy was in Froyo Kingdom. She was going to have a hard time just showing up at his door.

Simone didn't get far as she quickly realized that she didn't have a key to Finn's truck, and she wasn't even sure where to go anyway. Instead, she went back inside to go back to badgering her daughter. "W-why're you...," burbled Emeraude? "Why am I _what_ ," asked Finn? "I'm not angry, E." But he wasn't exactly the loving, overly-generous donk that he had been. Instead of putting up with whatever they said or did, he was being kind of a dick in a nasty, passive-aggressive way.

Lunch was a frigid affair with Simone sort of casting a pall on things. In the intervening weeks while Emeraude was in the Grey Forest, it appeared a lot like Betty had been 'rubbing off' on Simone and not in a good way. She was stubborn, aggressive, and nasty the way Betty so often was, and the wood nymph could see how she was pushing Finn's buttons. Hell, she was pushing _everyone's_ buttons. It helped not at all that Finn seemed to take real delight in tweaking her nose. Every time she pushed, he just stonewalled, acting as if he really didn't care. Finally, Fionna herself seemed to get tired of the whole thing.

After one bout of bickering, the pretty blonde stood and said, "if you're going to spend this whole visit fighting, you can go back home. I didn't ask you to come back here." And without another word, she turned, grabbed her plate, and headed for the kitchen. Those words came as a slap in the face to Simone, seeming to shock her senseless. Finn finished chasing the remnant of lunch around his plate, got up, and headed for the door. Since the truth had gotten said, there was no point pretending.

Simone got up and started for the kitchen door. Patrick stopped her in mid-stride, saying, "we're adults. Or did you forget that." She glared at her 'little brother', but Patrick didn't back down. "You've kind of been a jerk since you got here," he said. Simone stared at him, jaw hanging. "We're not kids anymore," he said. "We don't have to put up with you pushing us around. I got enough of that shit from mom." Simone burst into tears and ran out of the house. Emeraude turned to Patrick, who coolly said, "that needed to get said. I don't like what she's turning into. I don't know if it's that crown or what's going on, but I don't like the _new_ Simone." He liked the old Simone–the one who never had anything bad to say about anyone.

The ride back to the treehouse was almost silent. All three adults in the truck were locked inside their own thoughts. Finn was torn between anger and sadness. He didn't know his wife anymore. Simone had never been a jerk like this before. He wasn't sure what to say or do, and he halfway feared what the answer was going to be because honestly if she had fallen out of love with him, there were a lot of women who _did_ want him around. Emeraude sat in the back of the truck staring at her best friend and their husband, wondering if this was the end. And Simone?

She was in a state of turmoil because she was starting to see all the things she'd missed while she'd been running around. She'd missed her kids crossing the threshold to adulthood. And worse, she'd missed being there for them when they needed her the most. This thing she'd chosen to be had taken over her life as surely as if it was the Ice Tiara. She'd skipped out on her family. She'd skirted the edge of cheating on her husband. She'd told innumerable lies, and now she feared she'd wrecked her marriage. And she wasn't even across the finish line!

That was the maddening part of this. She still needed to ask her husband one more favor, when it was clear that he was close to the limit. What was he going to say? Honestly, she knew what he _could_ say. She was afraid of what he would say to her. If Finn walked away, then she would be alone. She'd been holding back since she got home last night. She'd spent the entire drive home trying to figure out how to approach this. She'd screwed up last time. She'd lied to Finn, hiding the real reason why he'd been invited to Simon's home. She didn't dare do that again, but she couldn't figure out a way to get his help for one last campaign appearance. Especially with what she knew now.

The Grand Master had cursed her husband. He'd cursed her whole family. Out of a mad, _selfish_ anger at being forced to help someone whom he considered _beneath_ him. She'd heard from Betty about just how much the Grand Master hated having to help them–how he'd balked at breaking the hold the Ice Crowns had on her and her father. The idea that the Grand Master would reward Finn for trying to save Ooo by cursing him shocked her to her shoes. Now she had to ask Finn to show up at the Memorial Service and give a speech. _There's nothing for it, but to ask, Simone,_ she thought. The service was tomorrow. She wasn't going to get a chance to build up to this.

"I know you're angry," Simone opened. Finn said not a word. "I... don't have a right to ask this," she said, "but I need it." "What do you want," asked Finn? It wasn't even close to polite. "I need you to give a speech," she said. "At the Grand Master's Memorial." Finn very nearly drove into a ditch. He did run off the road. Sitting there by the side of the road, he stared at her. Indeed, Emeraude was close to belting Simone herself! What the fuck?! That asshole had cursed their family! She would gleefully have dug him up and shit on him. Had this woman completely lost her mind?!

Primly, Simone said, "all the candidates will be there, Finn. A lot of faces will be watching..." The big man sat there glowering at the wheel for a long, long while, and Emeraude feared that she would be _walking_ back to the treehouse–that he would boot the both of them out of the car. Finally, after what seemed like forever, the big man spoke. "Ok," rumbled Finn. "If _Simon_ needs this, then I'll do it. Not for Betty." "Alright," sighed Simone. Finn pulled off the side of the road and drove them back to the treehouse. Almost as soon as they got home, the big man hitched on his sword, got back in the truck, and headed off to work.

Riding into work, the big man vented all of his anger and spleen, cussing Simone to hell, cussing Betty, and even cussing Simon. Part of him wanted to be angry at Simon most of all. If he'd never done that ceremony, there would be no Simone. Finn would be... alone. He'd be in the treehouse by himself, with nobody trying to break his heart over nothing. A part of him would have wanted them gone. Both of them. He reflected on that as he pulled up into the garage under the headquarters. Simone and Emeraude were the twin stars his world orbited, but he was so angry with them now he would have sent both packing.

 _But you wouldn't have the kids,_ he thought. He wouldn't have experienced having a son to raise or two daughters to love. And what if Cherry had come into his life while he was alone like that. She would have won. He was ashamed to admit it, but she could manipulate him almost as well as Bonnie. Sitting there with his head on the steering wheel, the big man realized that all the anger in the world wasn't going to change one fundamental fact. He loved them, and somehow, even after all the stupid things they'd done in the last year, he would have taken them back. Shaking his head and muttering under his breath, he got up and went inside to his office. There was work to do.

Finn had his nose in one of Star's reports when the door to his office opened late that day. He'd left orders that he not be disturbed, so he knew whoever was there was probably somebody important. Knowing he needed to cool off, he'd told the guards to keep his wives away. Looking up, he was momentarily startled to find Bonnie coming through his door. She was supposed to be working on her own remarks regarding the Grand Master's Memorial. There were some small hard feelings there too. Bonnie, as ruler of the Candy Kingdom, had long been able to call the Grand Master an equal, and she still held good memories of him in spite of what he'd done to Finn.

As the tall candy-person crossed the room, Finn found himself wondering if he was going to get a ration of shit from his _girlfriend_ about that evil old bastard. That was when he realized that this wasn't Bonnie at all. Scanning her from head to toe–he honestly couldn't help doing that–he spotted the strange mechanical joints in his visitor's arms. "Hey, Peebs," Finn greeted the android girl. He wasn't any more happy to see his would-be girlfriend than his real one. He had some unfinished business with P-Bot, and he still felt terrible about hurting her the last time she was in this office. "Finn," the sex-droid replied, as she stopped before him.

For quite a while, they stood there staring at each other. Finn softly said, "I'm sorry about last time..." "Forget it," she rumbled, her tone telling him all about how she was feeling. Still. "Can't, Peebs," he replied. "You're my friend. I didn't like doing that to you. I just... I didn't want to drag you into this." "Hmph," she muttered. "I don't recall you _dragging_ me at all, Finn Mertens." She sounded just like Bonnie when the Princess was hacked off at him. It was eerie. Changing the subject, Finn asked, "what'd you stop by for?"

"Playing errand-girl," muttered P-Bot. "Her Royal High and Mightiness sent me to tell you something that she didn't want to trust to the phones." Finn flinched at that. At the same time, he knew this was important. Sitting up straight, he murmured, "lay it on me..." Then, realizing that the outer office was crowded, he motioned for her to wait a moment while he got up and checked. Before he could get three feet, the android girl told him, "I already got the room cleared, Finn... We're alone. They're doing laps around the building." Finn's jaw dropped. She really couldn't help giggling as she said, "they're so scared of her." She'd used their fear of their ruler to send them on a fool's errand.

Returning to his seat, Finn said, "ok. What's up?" With a sigh, P-Bot said, "Cherry's cleaning out the Tower, Finn." Finn shot to his feet again. "She's been doing it quietly," the android explained, "but there's been a sudden rush of elderly mobsters on the streets. The Cookie County Sheriff has taken notice of a dozen in the last week." Finn began to pace now. What did that mean? Why would she do that?

 _Fear, Finn,_ he thought. Cherry was afraid of those people. At the least she was afraid of having them in her presence. Whoever had whacked Mafia Princess could quite likely pull off a similar attack at any time as long as those people were still in the Tower. "I'll start rounding them up," Finn said. P-Bot shook her head. "Bonnie specifically doesn't want them rounded up, Finn," she said. Finn frowned at the android girl. Nodding, the sex-machine said, "she wants to give them an easy escape route north to Froyo Kingdom." "So we can see who they meet with," Finn muttered. "Right. Ok." He was having trouble with that. The new Mafia Princess couldn't be seen communicating with them openly, but he was having trouble with this strange sort of communication-by-pantomime thing.

Message delivered, the android turned to go. Finn grabbed her hand and stopped her. When she turned to face him, Finn asked, "are you ok?" "W-why do you care," she sniffed? "Uhm just a robot..." "You're my friend," Finn said. Gathering her into his arms, Finn held her close. "Is Bonnie treating you alright," he asked? P-bot released a strangled sob, then pushed him away– _hard_. He'd forgotten that she was a machine, and he found himself bouncing off his desk. "Stop it," she snapped! "Stop doing this to me!" She was as dangerous as Phoebe right now, with the strength to hurt him very badly. At the same time... Well, he cared about her.

Finn stepped back from her. Phoebe was right. He had trouble letting go. For all his resolve, he didn't want to kick her out the door like yesterday's news. "I'm sorry," he said. "I don't mean to hurt you..." "And that's the problem," she snapped! "You treat me like a child, Finn Mertens! Like I don't know what I'm doing!" "Peebs," Finn said. "I'm in deep shit. I'm not treating you like a kid. I... With all the ways Bonnie did that to me, I'd never do it to you. I just don't want to screw your life up too. Not like I messed mine up."

Puzzled, the android came and perched on the edge of his desk. "Maybe you should try leveling with me, Finn," she said. "Tell me what's going on. I'm a good listener. Much better than Bonnie. I've had twenty years of training." Finn blushed as he thought of Braco. At the same time, he needed to get some of this off his chest. He spoke haltingly at first. After all, it was just like telling Bonnie that there were other girls in his life. Then, when P-Bot didn't scream at him, he grew a little bolder, telling her how he had gotten in this mess–even telling her how he had come to know each of the mad women in his life.

When he'd gotten to the end of that tale of woe, he found P-Bot staring at him in a strange mixture of sympathy and shock. "Wow," was all she could say. Nodding, Finn said, "so now you know. I still love Simone and E. I'd... Peebs, I'd never be able to give you what you deserve. That's... why..." P-Bot chuckled humorlessly. Shaking her head, she asked, "but what if I want it, Finn? What if I _want_ to be part of this messed up life you've made for yourself."

Finn's mouth came open. Standing up, the tall beauty reached behind her and unzipped the back of her dress. Shrugging her shoulders, she let the dress fall to the floor, revealing skimpy panties in transparent black silk done in oceans of fussy lace detail. Finn could only stare. If not for her knees and elbows, he would have had a hard time telling her apart from Bonnie. The temptation grew when he caught sight of the wet spot in her panties. Guessing what he was looking at, she smiled and told him, "you do that to me." She'd gotten a little horny when he talked about how he had gotten into the pants of all those women. His face went red hot again, and his dick got hard as an iron pipe in his pants.

Stepping towards him, the android girl said, "we're all messed up, Finn. That's the one thing we all have in common. We're all desperately needy. For some of us–like Marceline–you're the only kind soul we've had in our lives. For others, you're a breath of fresh air in a life grown stale. We all want that essential something, Finn. Even if we can only grab a piece of it." With each sentence, she stepped towards him. With the last word, she slipped her arms around his waist, leaned in, and pressed her lips to his. This time Finn didn't resist.

In moments, the two were kissing, swapping spit, as he inhaled her strange scent. His hands caressed her broad hips and squeezed that big, round ass. She was skinnier than Peebles. He could tell. Bonnie's hips had gotten bigger and her ass a little fuller after birthing Bubba and again after Shoko. Taking his right hand in hers, P-Bot drew it up to her left booby. Breaking that kiss, she said, "isn't that nice, Finn...?" It sure as hell was!

Finn picked up the sex-droid and lay her down on his desk. He slipped his hands into the waist of her panties and slid them down. P-Bot raised her magnificent bottom to help him. When he'd stripped those soggy drawers from her, he tossed them aside. He wanted to taste her. He knew there was a difference. P-Bot tasted different from her creator. He wasn't sure if that was intentional or just an accident of the science Bonnie used to create her double, but there was a difference when he kissed the sex-droid, and he wanted to see just how far it went.

Wrapping his arms around her thighs, he pulled her hot, juicy ass to the edge of the desk. Then he jerked those sleek legs wide and dove in. "Ooaaah," howled P-Bot as her would-be boyfriend licked her gooey snatch. "Oh, Finn," she moaned. Her hips bucked and jumped as he noisily went down on her. Hot girl-goo flowed fast and free. She was just as sexy as her creator. In minutes, she was having a noisy orgasm as Finn sluiced his tongue up and down her hot box. He honestly wondered. How close to the original was she? She did taste a little different. As he straightened from eating her out, he licked his lips, savoring the taste of her hot snatch.

P-Bot was panting like a bitch in heat, which he supposed she was. Finn unfastened his pants and, after a brief struggle, managed to free his hard dong. Pressing his purple knob against her opening, Finn pressed it into her. "Aaagh...," she howled! Her hands clawed at his wrists. She was a little tight. Leaning down, he kissed her and whispered, "I'll go slow..." P-Bot nodded. _Shit_ he was big! The two began to kiss again, as Finn slowly eased a little more of that fat dick into her. Drawing back, he would try to work in a little more. Slowly, ever so slowly, he eased that fat log into her honey-hole. Popping the catch on the front of her bra, he freed those big knobs and began squeezing and caressing them. The sex-droid moaned into his mouth.

Finn jammed a solid two inches into her at once, causing her to shriek. Back arching, she lay her head back over the edge of the desk and wailed as she had another climax. Now, as he began to ride her, she wrapped those long legs around his waist as her hands clawed at his shoulders. "Uh... uh... uh... ooaa...," howled the sex-machine. Her head thrashed back and forth, and he could _feel_ her orgasms. He couldn't help reflecting on how lucky girls were. He had to hold out and make it last, while they could go over and over and over.

As his hips hit hers for the first time, P-Bot freaked. Her body shook, and her head thrashed, and she bit her lip hard enough to draw blood. Finn leaned down, sucked her lip into his mouth and licked up a little of the blood, finding it tart like his own. That set her off again, causing her to clench up around him like a runaway milking machine. Grabbing her sticky hair, he pulled her face to his and jammed his tongue down her throat as he shot his stuff into her.

The pair lay there for a few moments, feeling the pleasure of being connected. P-Bot ran her fingers through his hair, stroking his scalp gently. With a deep sigh, she said, "part of me doesn't understand..." Finn frowned at her in puzzlement. Dry chuckle, "what changed? I don't understand why you want me now instead of back then..." It came out almost like a question. "Maybe because you came as yourself," he replied. He kissed her sweet lips, savoring their strange flavor. She gave him a frown, and he thought that she was angry again. Confirming his thoughts, she sighed, "not at you, Finn. At fucking Bonnie. She didn't even have the decency to finish me." The Bubblegum Princess had been in a hurry to get rid of her annoying suitor–to fob him off on her creation–and she'd cut corners in places, cobbling together P-Bot's arms and legs.

There was a lot of resentment in his newest girlfriend, and Finn said so. Blushing, she admitted, "I hate her sometimes, Finn. I can't... I can't help it. It's crazy. I'm... I _am_ Bonnie Bubblegum, but I can't stand her. She just flits around doing stupid stuff. _Glob_ , she annoys me sometimes. She treats me like her toy. Or like... like a science experiment." Worse was the feeling that she really _was_ a toy–nothing but a shell with Bonnie Bubblegum's memories. "That's why I was so mad at you, Finn," she whined. "I... Sometimes it seems all I can be is _her_. I-I even want her boyfriend." Stroking her sticky hair, Finn said, "maybe it's time you stopped thinking that you're her, Peebs..." She frowned at him in puzzlement. Unlike Bonnie, she wasn't going to make the mistake of treating him like a child when he was forty.

The big man didn't disappoint as he pointed out, "you need your own identity, Peebs. Something that doesn't suggest you're part of Bonnie." Which was as profound a statement as she'd ever heard. Following that up, the big man drew her pretty face to his and said, "from now on, we're going to call you Sarah." "W-what," she stammered. "That's your new name," he said. "Sarah." Prodding him in the side, the sex-droid said, "why that name?" He swiftly answered, "because it shouldn't remind anyone of _Bonnie_." Sniffing back tears, she said, "see, Finn? _That's_ why I'm crazy for you."

Sarah got herself dressed again, heading for the palace after a brief stop to let the bananas off the hook. As Finn's troops returned to the squad room, huffing and puffing from running around the office, Finn himself headed out, bound for home. He found the place more or less empty. Neither woman was there, though they hadn't cleaned out all their stuff or tossed his, so that was a somewhat positive sign. He settled in, cooked dinner, and waited. In the interim, he called his oldest daughter and apologized, explaining that her parents were 'working out some stuff'. When neither woman returned, he went upstairs, washed, and crawled into bed.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34:

It was the first time in many years that Finn had been in Wizard City. He really hadn't been here since the alien body-snatcher tried to take over his body. Of course just like back then he wasn't allowed to just wander. Even with Bonnie's diplomatic pass he had to stay close to her entourage. Still and all, it didn't bother him. Much. He had bad memories of this place, and he didn't like coming. He always felt like Imgwesh was lurking just around a corner or just upstairs out of sight. It was stupid, but he couldn't help his fear. When you added in the ugliness with the Grand Master, things were a touch worse.

And of course there were the women.

Bonnie was here. She was part of the reason he had come. Finn had his daughter and a contingent of the Banana Guard here to protect her. She was out of the lab and away from her responsibilities as a Princess. Which meant she was horny and flirty. She'd been endeavoring to get him alone for most of the trip in spite of Simone's presence. Finn had been kind of dodging that–even reminding her of her promises. This was supposed to be Simone's time.

If that wasn't enough, the Bubblegum Princess had dragged Sarah along as a flunky. That endeared her not at all to the android woman. It was just like she'd said, and she clearly wanted to punch her creator. Of course she'd boldly _told_ Finn she was horny and wanted his bod. She was just more calm about it. She'd as much as told him that she intended to come by the treehouse. If somebody else was there... Well, her time with Braco–and Bonnie's memories of Marceline–had left her able to deal with alternative situations. That last had left him in a state of shock. He'd had his suspicions about PB and Marcy, but the confirmation left him stunned.

And then there was Phoebe. She'd been strange all evening. Not the hard-edged, confident Flame King, but the shy miss she had been when they first met. Especially around Simone. He imagined that part of it was the affair. They had cheated together–conspired together to hurt Simone. With the two women being so close, it was hard _not_ to feel uncomfortable. Finn felt it himself. There was little he could say or do without giving them away.

It helped not at all that she'd come wearing a shockingly sexy dress. The little black number she'd come in hugged tight to her bust, pushing her impressive boobies up and squeezing them together. At the same time, the sleeveless dress was held in place by a couple of thin straps that went up around her neck, leaving her arms, shoulders, and even the sides of those big knobs bare. If that weren't enough, her dress was cut so low in the back, he could almost see her crack. Finn had to force his eyes not to follow her wiggling bottom whenever he looked her way.

Just now, he was filtering through the crowd, letting himself be seen. He was lending his name and reputation to Betty's campaign. He thought of it that way now. Betty was in the driver's seat, manipulating anyone she needed to get this done. The rest of them were simply riding the train, Simon included. Finn had no idea _why_ Betty wanted this. If he was honest, he didn't really _want_ to know because he was afraid of the answer. He had known evil to be disguised and close enough to him to touch. Right now, he just hoped to get through this and maybe get Simone back.

When he grew bored of the game, the big man walked out onto the balcony in search of fresh air. Sitting down on the bench there, he stared up at the night sky. As he sat watching the stars, his mind went back to the first time he'd met Phoebe. He'd turned his eyes skyward just like tonight and asked why he couldn't just _like_ a girl. Now he had a whole list of girls that liked him kind of a lot. The irony might well kill him. 'Liking a girl' had become the least of his problems.

The soft rustle of cloth alerted him to the presence of one of those women. Settling next to him, Phoebe sighed, "hi, Finn..." "Phoebes," he greeted her. He wasn't very good with all the secrecy. It was sometimes hard to know how to interact with his secret girlfriends. Phoebe sat there a moment, staring into space seeming to have the same trouble. She was oddly cold today–not the blazing hot creature he knew so well. "Meds must be doing you a lot of good," he opined. Blushing, Phoebe admitted, "more than you know..."

When Finn turned to face her, she told him, "I... I don't know how to tell you this... I'm... I don't know how it's even possible." Finn frowned in worry. She sounded as though something was wrong. Staring into his worried face, Phoebe found herself having trouble getting this out. Knowing how Huntress had screwed things up, getting herself preggers, she didn't want to burden him that way. She knew how he felt about kids–about his very real and tangible need to be there for his children. At the same time, she knew that keeping the secret to herself was no answer either. The business with Bonnie and Marcy's kids had taught her how dangerous that was. _You have to say it,_ she decided. She would just have to tell him. Blushing, she murmured, "honey, I'm pregnant. We're... We're havin' a baby."

Finn just stared at her. For several moments, he was completely and totally overwhelmed. Yeah, it seemed that 'just liking a girl' was the least of his problems. Reaching out, he took her hand and gave it a squeeze. "I love you, Phoebes," he said. "I don't know how to make this work, but I'm... I'll figure something out." He'd been scratching at this for months now, and he hadn't made any progress. Now, though, he didn't really have a choice. There was a child on the line.

Blushing, Phoebe actually giggled. With the pressure and stress of carrying this secret inside her released, she was almost giddy. She knew very well that she ought to be thankful that things hadn't gone disastrously off the rails like they had for Emeraude. At the same time, she had been missing him. Just the sight of him walking in the door with Simone had triggered something inside her heart. She needed him. Badly. "I... Honey... would you," she murmured? Finn knew what she was asking. It had been a while. In spite of what he was getting from Lollipop–and what he'd gotten from Sarah–Finn found the hunger for Phoebe was still there. "Ok," he said. "Let's sneak out. I gotta' be back to give a speech, though." They wouldn't get to lay in bed all night.

Phoebe was first to slip away. There wasn't anyone here really looking for her. She went back inside and slipped along the edges of the Grand Master's Hall until she could reach the door. For Finn, things were a little more complex. His wife was here, and so was evil Betty. He needed to dodge both. Fortunately, he had speed on his side.

The big man had been living with the Grand Master's curse for twenty years now with no real idea it was there. He'd had no idea why he seemed to be so much faster than everyone else. He'd just taken it for granted. It hadn't mattered, and, as he settled into work as Captain of the Guard, husband, and father of three, he'd had little need to test it. After all, when you had that kind of responsibility, you weren't supposed to be fighting all time.

Strolling over to the refreshments, he got a glass of beer to steady his nerves. Then, with the most casual of thoughts he was at the edge of band pit, listening to the musical wizards play. He spent a while, sipping beer and foot-tapping in time to the music, letting Betty get a good look at him. The minute her back was turned, Finn was gone. He was across the room, just feet from Simone and Simon, listening to them as they schmoozed with important wizards from all over Ooo. He let the pair–and those around them–get a glimpse. Then he was at the _door_ , handing off the half-finished beer.

The jaunt to the elevator was fast, and though the curse was fully and virulently active inside him, it caused him no harm, making him reflect on an older spell and its caster. Breezy loved him. He was a little embarrassed about that too. He'd friend-zoned her, and she did _that_ for him. Twice. Fortunately as Queen Bee, she'd had to get hitched. That was one less girl who would be chasing him. The elevator ride had him antsy, taking longer than his escape, and he was relieved when he stepped out on Phoebe's floor. Looking around him a moment, he found the upstairs hall empty. In two eye-blinks, he was at her door, slipping the spare key in the lock.

"In here," Phoebe called out to him. Untieing his tie, the big man strode across to the bedroom. There, he found Phoebe laying on her side, still wearing that knock-out dress. As he approached, she rose and met him. Finn jerked her towards him and grabbed her big, juicy butt. "Mmph," squeaked the sexy torch as Finn kissed those hot lips. Any fear that all the _options_ he had would kill his desire were quickly quelled as he roughly pawed and squeezed her body. Phoebe shut her eyes and relaxed as his hands popped the catch behind her neck, releasing her big boobies from their bondage. The flaming-hot beauty let out a high pitched whine when Finn captured one of the sensitive tips in his moist lips.

Downstairs in the reception, Simone was dodging the fast hands of Torg the Carpet Wizard. Wizard City's pre-eminent purveyor of fine flying carpets was quite likely the most disgusting figure on Ooo–short of the Lich. Short and fat and balding, with a scruffy beard, the nasty old wizard was perennially chasing/harassing female wizards, but he really got out of pocket when he had a few in him. Just now, his favorite target was at hand, and he'd had a couple of Berry Blitzers already. Betty had insisted that Simone be nice to him because he had just piles and piles of money to spend, but increasingly Simone was thinking about freezing him and dumping the frozen statue somewhere far to the north.

Things had been changing with him lately. She knew why. She was one of the few who came back. In Torg's mind, that meant she was _receptive_ to his overtures. He'd been hinting that he might like a little bit more than a companion for dinner. She'd brought the matter up with Betty, but the older woman insisted that this was all harmless. All she had to do was string him along. The tall beauty was afraid, though, because they were very close to the line, and she was in danger of tripping over it without even seeing it. As Torg was complimenting her dress and telling her how much better she would look without it, a series of texts popped up on her phone.

Distracted, she grabbed her phone and drew it out. Dodging the hand that was trying to grab her boobies, Simone read the first message with a frown of irritation. "Do you know where your husband is," she murmured? Puzzled, she skipped to the next message, finding a picture of Phoebe and her husband sitting on the balcony. Together. Was this person implying that Finn and Phoebe...? Frowning, she dodged another swipe of Torg's hot hands. Phoebe had been strange all evening. It was the picture of the medical report that stopped her cold, though.

With his target stationary, Torg grabbed a handful of ass. An enraged Ice Queen turned and leveled him with a karate chop to the side of his neck. The fat wizard dropped to the ground like a sack of old potatoes. As several faces stared in shock–and some in admiration–the tall woman stormed off into the crowd, headed for the door. A stunned Betty rushed after her. That could wreck them! They were so close, and that could easily wreck the whole thing! Torg had been spending cash left, right, and center on the campaign. They needed him!

Simone's eyes were focused straight ahead. She couldn't have given two damns about the campaign just now. Striding down the hall, her mind on that report, she was in a state of terrible turmoil. Was it true? How could it be true? How was it even possible? Phoebe had looked _different_ tonight. Simone had chalked it up to the light, but Phoebe had never looked more human. And she knew Phoebe was a master magician. She was every bit as skilled as Huntress. Searching the deep recesses of her mind for her father's old memories, the wizard woman recalled transformational spells that would have sufficed to give the elemental woman what she wanted.

Upstairs, Finn was getting ready to move on to the main event. He had Phoebe panting in heat from the way he'd touched her, and now he knelt between her long, sleek legs, leaning over her, his eyes burning into hers and telling her how he was going to ravage her. The big man reached down, slipped his hands under the hem of her skirt and began sliding them up her long, sexy legs, his hands brushing the soft glass filaments before them. He slowly slid her skirt up her legs past her ankles, discovering the sexy stockings she'd made to go with that raunchy dress. As she watched in excitement, Finn licked his lips in hunger. She'd discovered his secret weakness. His hands continued working their way up her calves, slowly baring her legs to the cool air of the hotel room. Phoebe sighed breathily at the feel of his hands on her legs. His hands reached her dainty knees, and he stopped to ease those long legs apart, opening her before him. Then they were on the move again.

Up and up his hands glided, baring her legs one inch at a time. At the same time he inhaled her scent–spicy, like the incense his middle daughter burned when she was meditating in her room. Instead of the sulfurous smell she'd had when young, Phoebe smelled _spicy_ , almost peppery. The sexy bonfire moaned when his hands touched her thighs, just above the tops of her stockings and just inches below her hot snatch. Leaning over her, he teased her tender flesh, whispering, "you're so beautiful." "Our baby's gonna' be beautiful," sighed Phoebe. As his lips came closer to hers, the elemental breathed, "I love you, Finn." As his hands caressed her ass and stroked her broad hips, he slipped his tongue into her mouth.

Phoebe moaned into his mouth, and her arms wrapped themselves around his shoulders. Kissing and caressing each other, they lay there on the bed, Finn's hips rocking against hers. "Finn," moaned the beautiful girl. "We don't have much time." They had to get back, or they'd get caught. The door banged open just then, showing that they had less time than they thought. Finn jerked to his feet, face gone red hot. His eyes locked with Simone's as she stood there in the outer room, and he knew he was screwed. Phoebe sat up with a look of utter shame on her face, clutching her dress shut over her bountiful boobies.

The tall sorceress came storming in, having burst the lock with her magic. Her face was grim, and Finn felt his heart sink. This was it. He'd done it. He'd wrecked their marriage. Before he could utter a word, though, Betty came in through that door–a clear reminder of how they'd gotten here. And that made _Finn_ see red himself. Simone lit into him, shouting, "how could you do this to me?! How could you cheat on me with my best friend?!" Betty found herself at once shocked and utterly amazed. She could scarcely understand how that was even possible. She would have guessed he'd burn his pecker off.

At the same time, this was trouble they didn't need. Simone had knocked the shit out of Torg, and now she had to kiss his ass to calm him down. That was already bad enough, but they needed this little shit to come down and give a rousing rah-rah speech to the audience to assure all involved that Finn the Human, Champion of Ooo was behind Simon all the way. They didn't need this little scene. The older woman stepped in between the two. "This will wait, Simone," said she. To Finn, she said, "you promised to speak on Simon's behalf. Keep. Your. Word."

Finn gave her a mocking bow and stormed out, slamming the half-ruined door on his way. Taking Simone by the hand, Betty told Phoebe, "your diplomatic pass is revoked. Find your way out." The older woman led Simone to the door. As they went into the hall, Phoebe heard the nasty bitch say, "we still need that asshole, Simone, but rest assured I'll find you a good lawyer. You'll get everything but his skin."

Finn went downstairs and proceeded to do exactly what Betty had asked for. Instead of improvising as he intended, he read her speech–stumbling over every big word and flowery line. Stammering and stuttering his way through, he had even Simon wincing and Betty herself fit to be tied. The uninspired performance set more than one of the audience to catcalling or heckling. Ignoring them, Finn stumbled his way through to the end. Then he stalked off the stage, clearly angry.

The big man left the banquet and went to find Phoebe only to learn from a Wiz Cop that Betty had revoked her diplomatic pass. He drew his phone to call her, but it rang straight through to voice mail. Sarah found him out in the street, scanning the sky, looking for the Flame King in vain. "I overheard Betty talking," she announced. Finn nodded. "Are you... alright," she asked? "Fine," muttered Finn. Glancing over at her, he said, "matter-of-fact..." He grabbed the android woman's arm and dragged her towards his truck. Leaving the Memorial Banquet behind, Finn tore out of there, bound for the treehouse.

Phoebe returned home that very night in a state of utter despair. It felt a lot like the moment when she had believed Finn betrayed her. Only this time wasn't _Finn's_ fault. It was hers. She'd wrecked the lives of the two people she cared most for in the world. And what was she going to do now? She was pregnant. How was she going to manage that? What would she tell her people? It was already considered odd for her to have Cinnamon Bun around! She was preggers by a water-creature! She would be ostracized by her own family!

The curvy beauty was up much of the night, pacing out the hours in her quarters. She couldn't think. She couldn't focus. All she could think of was the terrible things she'd done and how she wished she could have a second chance–to talk Finn down from doing the things he'd been doing instead of joining in the madness. She wished she'd tried to talk Simone out of spending all that time away from home, letting those disgusting fiends paw at her for Betty's sake.

As the sun came over the horizon, Cinnamon Bun came into the outer chamber and stood at her doorway holding her morning tea. She needed that. She needed to be calm now more than ever. Striding across her bedroom, Phoebe took the cup from her Champion, murmuring, "thanks, CB. Thanks for being there for me." Moving to the window, she stood there, staring off into the distance in the direction of the Candy Kingdom as she sipped tea. Just the act of drinking it made her calmer than she had been. She would fix this. She would go to Simone and beg forgiveness. She'd help her two best friends get their lives back together.

Draining the last of the tea from the cup, she put it on the windowsill. Her maid had arrived, and Phoebe went to wash and gather on some clothes. Her cabinet would have heard by now that she had been thrown out of Wizard City. She needed to get ahead of that. She needed to calm them down and prevent them from going off on a tear. They didn't need talk of war over such a small slight. Especially when their leader deserved it.

"How would milady like her hair today," asked the maid? She'd been having a great deal of trouble with it lately. Since Phoebe had been on medication, her hair was no longer the vibrant, free-flowing affair that it had once been. It was more solid than it had ever been, forcing the maid to pin it up into elaborate head-dresses to impress Phoebe's courtiers. She'd suggested on more than one occasion that 'milady should let herself free', though she had little idea what that would actually mean. Halfway through the business, Phoebe felt a sudden sharp pain. Clutching her tummy, the elemental woman fell out of the chair.

The maid was kneeling at her side moments later as Phoebe screamed and wailed. Her body was burning. She could _feel_ her body burning. Somehow, her flames were reigniting. And with every eruption, she could feel the child in her middle burning too. "Milady," howled the maid! "W-what should I do?" "M-my tea," said Phoebe. "I need more. Get me some tea... A-and get the doctor." The maid rushed out of the room as Phoebe struggled in vain to calm herself. Finally, she did something she'd never dreamed of doing. Whispering words of power, she formed a fire-shield in her own womb, shielding her child from her suddenly out-of-control powers in spite of the agony it brought her.

It was late in the day when the phone rang in the treehouse. Finn the Human had been up most of the night before, but, in spite of the beautiful form lieing beside him, he hadn't been enjoying himself. He'd dragged Sarah off with the intent of screwing the shit out of her to spite Simone. If he was going down, why not? Instead, he'd spent much of the night pacing the room between bouts of crying on her shoulder. Not much loving got done, but then Sarah thought he needed peace more than sex.

Now she rose, went to the charger on the dresser, and quietly answered his phone. "Sir," announced the maid. "Who is this," replied Sarah? "I... uh, I thought this was Finn the Human's phone," the maid stammered. "It is," Sarah replied. "He's sleeping. He's... not been well." There was a pause on the other end of the line. The maid, terrified as she was of her lady's condition, was just as terrified of what she was stirring up. Did this man have a lady of his own already? She'd found the gentleman's phone number in milady's phone and called it, seeking help.

Calmly, Sarah talked the maid down out of her terror. Skillfully, she pulled information out of the elemental woman. By the time she shut off the phone, she had a pretty good idea what was going on and what was going to be needed. Finn had told her about Phoebe's baby, and it was readily apparent what the resurgence of Phoebe's flame-powers were going to do to a half-human child. It was just as certain that nobody in the Fire Kingdom would have the knowledge to fix the problem and few would even have the motivation.

Moving back to her lover's side, Sarah gently woke him. Finn came to with a start, almost jumping back from her. He'd been having a really terrible dream. It was the return of an old nightmare, where Simone as the Ice Queen chased him, doing her damndest to kill him. He hadn't had that dream since the Ice Tiara had been locked away. Now it was back. Why? Part of him wanted to blame his overwrought mind. He knew the Tiara was in enemy hands right now. Part of him feared that it was a true-dream–a premonition of something that was coming his way.

Sarah told him, "I'm sorry to pile on with bad news, Finn... Phoebe's maid called..." Finn was on his feet in an instant. "She's not well, Finn," Sarah told him. "She needs you. I'm... I'm going to report to Bonnie. I'll see if I can get her to go and help. Let's get you dressed and on the road." The android woman was as good as her word. She helped him into the shower, laid out his clothes and weapons, and put together a breakfast so he wouldn't be such a mess when he got to the Fire Kingdom.

Finn spent the long drive to Phoebe's home in a state of terror, worrying over what he would find when he arrived. He wasn't guaranteed a nice welcome. More to the point, he was afraid for his child. Phoebe's miracle child was in danger. It was like Cherry all over again. Rolling up to the entry to the Fire Kingdom capitol, Finn was startled to find a familiar powder-blue truck there. Spying a familiar figure there at the edge of the lava, he found himself filled with dread, and it took all his courage to get out of the car. Was this some kind of trick? He found himself looking around for Betty.

Simone herself wasn't sure why she was here. This was the ultimate betrayal. Phoebe had wounded her deeply, and she'd had an ugly fight with Betty over this decision. At the same time, Phoebe had loved and supported her when she really didn't have any friends. They were opposites and as different as two people could be, but at the same time they shared so much. "She called me too," the wizard said, when Finn had finally emerged from his truck. "I don't think she knew..." Finn flushed to his hair. When he went to put on his survival suit, she cast a Fire-Shield spell on him, saying, "we don't have time..."

A nervous Finn followed his estranged and angry wife across the basalt bridge to the entry. Finn drew out the heavy brass placard that allowed him entry. He was one of very few outsiders with the right. Even Bonnie didn't have the privilege. The guards had been expecting them. A servant from the palace came down immediately and ushered them into the Flame King's quarters.

Cinnamon Bun was there, making for a bit of an awkward moment as Finn came in. They were unlikely rivals for Phoebe's affections. Fortunately a massively built elemental male came out of Phoebe's quarters carrying a stone box by its handle. _The doctor,_ thought Simone. His expression was grim, causing her worry to ratchet up a couple of notches. Whatever Phoebe had done, Simone wished her no harm, and she found herself praying silently that it was better news than it appeared to be.

As she was pondering the implications of the doctor's expression, the maid came out to admit them. The Flame King was in bed, resting, when the two came in. Finn knelt beside Phoebe's bed on her left. Simone knelt on her right. "Are you... ok," murmured Finn? Phoebe nodded. Flushing, she said, "I almost lost the baby, Finn." Turning to Simone, she said, "I'm sorry..." Taking her hand, Simone shushed her. Squeezing her hand, the Ice-Queen asked, "is the baby going to be alright?" "For now," sighed Phoebe. She sounded close to tears. "We're not going to let this happen, Phoebe," said Simone. Ashamed of what she'd done, Phoebe whined, "b-but why would you help me...?" Shaking her head, Simone said, "yeah, I'm still angry, Phoebes, but you're my best friend. I'm not going to throw away twenty good years..."

Rising, the wizard said, "come along, Finn. I need your authority." The hero rose and diffidently moved to follow his wife. "W-what are you doing," asked Phoebe? With a sigh, Simone said, "this is a little beyond my skill, Phoebe. Much as I want to hang her up by her tits some days, I'm going to the one person with the knowledge to save you." Smiling, she said, "rest easy, sweetie. We'll have you out of here in a jiffy."

They had a bit of a bobble with Cinnamon Bun, who tried to prevent them from taking Phoebe. He made no secret of his distrust of Bonnie. She was the last person he would have taken Phoebe to, and he and Finn very nearly got to blows. Simone's assurances–and a little help from Phoebe's cousin, Randy–broke the impasse. The candy-person did insist on sending Phoebe by fire wolf. An hour later, the Flame King was seated on an exam table in the Candy Monarch's lab, while Bonnie–who'd dropped everything in P-Bot's lap for this rare opportunity–gave her a thorough looking over.

"Well," said Bonnie. "To start, I have to ask the obvious... How is it that you're suddenly solid?" With a sigh, Phoebe replied, "most of us are solid. We couldn't wear clothes or build homes if we weren't. I'm... I have a birth defect. I'm... I guess I burn hotter than most." Looking up, she reminded her host, "and you have seen me solid. You even carried me." Bonnie nodded. She'd nearly forgotten about that. "Hmm," said the pink terror. "You present an interesting puzzle..." Rolling her eyes, Simone interrupted, "need you to examine this, Bonnie." She shoved a crystal box under the Princess's nose. "Her handmaiden dosed her with that to take away her powers a couple-decades ago," said Finn. "She... I could actually touch her then too..."

Phoebe blushed in unpleasant memory. Finn had been trying to get her back, and Cinnamon Bun had gotten in the way. She'd turned her back on Finn and spent twenty years with Cinnamon Bun more or less pretending to be in a relationship. "My doctor figured out how to turn it into a medicine to treat my condition," murmured the elemental woman. Bonnie's mouth came open. Then, excitedly, she rushed across the lab to her Spectrographic Analysis system.

Dumping the contents of the box into the machine, she immediately began running a scan. Waving at the others with her free hand, she said, "keep talking!" Phoebe explained how she'd begun to take the drug shortly after breaking up with Cinnamon Bun. She'd only been hoping for it to help her control her powers, but she'd been thrilled to find that it drastically improved the quality of her life. That was when she began to consider seducing Finn.

Setting the box of sand on the table, Bonnie said, "in spite of the seeming, you're not on fire, Phoebe. You're in a strange, primordial state of matter–almost like a fifth phase after plasma. This substance acts as a moderator. It's slowing whatever reaction is going on inside your body. The more of it you take, the weaker the reaction becomes. It's surprisingly effective. I haven't the faintest idea why it stopped working so suddenly..." Interrupting, Simone asked, "could it be the added stress from our... confrontation." Frowning, Bonnie allowed that it could.

"We know that strong emotions cause Phoebe's reaction to accelerate," she said. "It's entirely possible that the business with the affair coming into the open reduced the effectiveness of the drug." "Can't we give her more," asked Finn? Shaking her head, Bonnie replied, "that's almost never a good idea, Finn. We know that this stuff can have a catastrophic effect on a fire-elemental in higher doses. I'm afraid that an overdose could snuff Phoebe's flames permanently..." "... which could kill her," burbled Simone.

Her fingers caught Phoebe's. In spite of the discomfort–and she really found herself wondering how it was that Finn was able to have full-on sex with Phoebe–Simone held on. That touch was calming, and slowly Phoebe's emotions stabilized. Bonnie told them, "I'm going to recommend that Phoebe get lots of rest, and that she avoid situations that will cause emotional distress until we figure this out." "Isn't there anything else you can do," asked Simone? The genius considered that for a few moments. Finally, she said, "I have a containment system in my lab. She'd have to stay here for a while." "But she won't be able to run the Fire Kingdom," said Finn! "I may be able to come up with something portable," replied Bonnie. "Give me a few days."

"Good enough," said the Ice Queen. Turning to Phoebe, Simone said, "since this is his fault, Finn can look in on things and run errands for you, Phoebe." She gave Finn a glare that brooked no disagreement. Finn said not a word. "Ok," said Bonnie. "Finn? Simone? You should both probably go..." Simone turned and hugged Phoebe, saying, "we're gonna' make it through this, Phoebe. You were there for me, when I was crazy. I'm not going to let you down..." Bonnie's instrument picked up a surge of energy, and she immediately insisted that Simone break contact. Guilt, apparently, was just as deadly for Phoebe as her anger.

When the pair had gone, taking most of Phoebe's entourage with them, the elemental woman found herself alone with her strangest friend of all as her once-and-former nemesis worked on making her comfortable. Bonnie spent a while gathering up equipment she needed before leading the younger woman to the basement. It had been many years since Phoebe had been here. It was the day Cinnamon Bun came into her life. It was the day she more or less kicked Finn out of it. She'd been terrified and struggling not to show it.

Arriving in the lab, Bonnie brought her to a heavy piece of machinery in the far corner with a doorway set into its center. The curvy elemental woman gave it a dubious look. It seemed cramped. "Wasn't meant as a Phoebe-trap," said Bonnie with a chuckle. "I use it for small-scale radioactive experiments..." Phoebe flushed. Knowing Bonnie, there probably was a Phoebe-trap somewhere in this absurd dungeon of whimsy and horror. With a sigh, the elemental stepped inside, and Bonnie shut the door behind her. As Phoebe watched through the glass, the Candy Monarch went to the control panel and toggled a few controls.

"How do you feel," asked Bonnie? "Cold," replied Phoebe. She was shivering. "Good," replied Bonnie. "That's the damping field. Your fire's been tamped down quite a bit already." She bustled around the lab, picking up odds and ends in an eerie display that made the elemental _very_ uncomfortable. "Aren't you going to ask," demanded Phoebe? Bonnie looked up and said, "why? I have no need to hurt you or kill your child, and this line of discussion isn't good for you or your baby." "I heard the vampire," muttered Phoebe. Bonnie reached out and turned the dial on the containment, but Phoebe scarcely noticed. Voice showing her anger, the elemental explained, "I heard vampire-bitch while I was down in the furnace. Both of you pushed him into cheating. You took advantage of the fact that he'd do anything you wanted." Bonnie checked the readings and turned the containment field up a little more.

"Does it bother you that I get to have his baby," asked the angry bonfire? "I already have two babies by Finn," retorted Bonnie. "Marceline has one herself. Why should it bother me?" "Your tone is telling me something else," retorted Phoebe. Bonnie couldn't help it. "You ruined things," growled Bonnie! "Those two were oblivious! They were wrapped up in their political campaign, and I got to see Finn whenever I wanted! You had to go and blow everything!" Phoebe was up against the glass door, face contorted in rage. Then the alarms sounded, and Bonnie dove for the console, dialing up the containment field until Phoebe was on her knees.

Kneeling before her friend, Bonnie put her face to the glass and said, "I'm sorry, Phoebe. I-I shouldn't have let us go down that road." "I started it," muttered the elemental. She was kneeling on the floor, clutching her stomach. "For the record, I was jealous," said the Flame King. "You and Marcy got to be with him..." Bonnie sat down beside her and said, "not really... Shit, Phoebe, I watched him with Simone and Emeraude and their kids... He was so excited and happy, and he was always there for them. I had to go through bringing Bon and Shoko in the world all by myself... I..." Bonnie subsided then, leaving the Flame King hanging. " _What_ ," demanded Phoebe? Shaking her head and laughing, Bonnie admitted, "I wanted to get pregnant again. Only I wanted Finn to know he was the father... so I could have what they had..."

The pair sat there a long few moments. "I'm sorry," sighed Phoebe. "I... I wanted it so bad that night... I hadn't seen him..." "Phoebe," interrupted Bonnie. "We were all playing with fire. Stop beating yourself up. What we were doing wasn't right, and if it hadn't been you, it might well have been me or Marcy. I'm... I guess I'm glad it stopped. Before it got too far." Phoebe nodded. Rising, Bonnie said, "think of something else, Phoebe... Think of anything that makes you happy. I can get a terminal if you like... so you can read..." "I'm good," sighed Phoebe. "I'll be back," Bonnie promised.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35:

"Hey, Finn," said Simon Petrikov. "Hey, Simon," Finn replied. It had been a while. Honestly, as often as he'd seen Ice King, he hadn't really seen much of Simon, and he didn't know why. He _liked_ Simon. Now that he wasn't Ice King, he was pretty chill, and the two had enjoyed a couple of jam-sessions in Simon's garage, playing music until the wee hours of the morning, while the wives chatted in the house. Something had happened somewhere along the way though, and he really hadn't seen much of his bro. Reaching out, Finn grabbed the older man's arm and drew him into a man-hug. "Kinda' been missin' you, man," he admitted.

Simon was a little startled by the notion, though, if he thought about it, the opposite was true. He still had all the memories of his time as Ice King. Finn was the one person in all of Ooo who not only put up with him, but actually liked him. Even Marceline had gotten tired of dealing with him and sent him packing. They had only recently reconciled. Finn never really treated him that way. "I missed you too, man," said Simon. Stepping back, Finn gave him a big smile. Looking around him at the Grand Master's palace, the big man said, "congrats, man. I'm happy for you..."

Simon wasn't sure he agreed with the sentiment. He honestly hadn't been all that excited about taking this job. He'd thrown himself into it more because Betty thought it was a good idea than any real zest for it. He was a simple man, really–happy with his wife and children. It was common ground he shared with Finn. Neither of them wanted to control anything or anyone. Which brought him around to a very important issue. He'd been hearing a lot about this the last couple weeks or so. He heard it every time Finn's name even came up in a conversation.

Betty had been riding Simone for days, telling her all about how she should take the treehouse. How she should empty his bank accounts. Simon had been getting an earful about it, and it made him queasy and sometimes even angry. But not at Finn. He was angry at Betty. It felt a lot like Betty had been almost _praying_ for this for years. The minute the affair came into the open, she was immediately campaigning for the divorce–without even giving the couple a chance to try counseling or to work things out.

"Finn," said Simon. "Yeah, man," said Finn. "Need to talk to you, buddy," said the older man. "Sure," Finn replied. Simon beckoned Finn to follow him to the back of the room. When they were out of earshot of the guards and the functionaries–all the people with the wagging tongues and inquisitive ears–the older man said, "when this is over, Finn, you need to take Simone and go to counseling." "We're barely talking," murmured Finn. Mostly over their kids. She called him now. She called him over their kids, and she called him over Phoebe, strangely enough. Finn did his best to keep her posted on goings on, but Fionna was still pissed at him.

"But you're talking, Finn," said Simon. "Don't let that go." The big man gave him a skeptical look. Putting a hand to his shoulder, the former Ice King put one simple question to him, "do you love my daughter, Finn?" Seeing the look in his eyes, Finn realized he needed to really think about that. Doing some deep soul-searching, he thought about all the years and all the things they'd seen together. He thought about their kids and all the good times and all the bad. When it was all said and done, he still loved Simone, and he would have done anything he could for her. This whole thing had started because he wanted her to be happy. "Go to counseling, Finn," murmured Simon. "Don't let this destroy you. Get your wife back. I'm... I've already had a talk with Simone. There's still time for you."

As Finn had a shockingly deep conversation with his old friend, Emeraude was getting a harsh wake-up call from her own child. She'd come straight in from the Grey Forest–where she'd been ever since finding out that Finn had cheated on her. She'd not called or texted. Nothing. Honestly, she'd spent a lot of nights at the bottom of a bottle, drinking herself into a stupor. She'd been angry for a lot of the time. She'd been torn between an honest desire to fucking kill Phoebe, however she could and a hunger to make Finn _suffer_ for hurting her. Even knowing that she herself was a lot of the problem here, she wanted to hurt the both of them.

It was eating her up.

Now here she was, counting the fruits of all her efforts. She'd roped the Matriarch into throwing the collective weight of the Grey Forest behind Simon's campaign, and as that effort bore fruit, she'd been rather hoping to find herself appointed as the Matriarch's representative to the Grand Master's administration. That would have freed her to be home again. She could have split her time between Wiz City, the Grey Forest, and home. Much of what she did could have been done by the phone, and Finn had been happy to let Simone use his office in the treehouse when she was there in the early going.

Unfortunately the old bitch wasn't interested in having Emeraude Baudin as her emissary. The Matriarch had made it quite clear that the wood nymph warrior wasn't going anywhere. Ironically, Huntress Wizard's reputation was her own undoing. She made a far better enforcer than she made an emissary. Why would you send a violent thug with a hair-trigger temper to speak for you? No, she was trapped still, with no easy way out of her commitment.

Star came out of a side passage and got right in her way, and at first the wood nymph stared at her in puzzlement. With those dark clothes on, and her face painted in a oily black sepia, the younger woman might well have been her mirror image–a vision glimpsed through a very dark mirror. It was only a closer look that revealed her yellow hair. A frown contorting her lovely face, the older woman stopped. "Why are you here," she asked? "Shouldn't you be studying or something?"

Star retorted, "I'm here guarding Bonnie because her Court Wizard walked off the job." That stung, and Emeraude blushed to her hair. She would have walked around Star, but the young woman got in her way again. "Something you want, Star," she asked? "Because I don't have time to play today." "Haven't had time because you're too busy screwing around somewhere that rejected you," Star retorted. Huntress Wizard's fist clenched, and her eyes narrowed. "You _dumped_ us, momma," the young woman said. "You dumped daddy. He took you in, and you dumped him. For a bunch of bitches that pissed on you all your life." "You don't know anything about it," growled Emeraude. She tried to go around her daughter again, but Star wasn't having any of that.

This time the wizard lost it. She was suffering a hangover from last night's drinking. She was angry at her husband. And, deep inside, she was angry at herself because everything her child was saying was true. She'd dumped Finn for people who really didn't give two damns for her. Angry and upset, she took a swing.

That swing came clumsy. Hungover and a little slow this morning, she might as well have telegraphed that punch. Star ducked inside her swing, cocked her fist back, and popped her own mother in the mouth. Emeraude staggered, then went down when her child hit her again. She found herself staring up at her own kid as Star cussed her a thousand ways to hell. The younger woman got a little hysterical. She was hysterical because if there was one person she loved besides Billy, it was her father. She was as much daddy's little girl as Fionna, and she felt _betrayed_ by a woman who'd lectured her about finding the right man. Footsteps announced someone else in the hall. Star stopped in mid rant. Dashing the tears from her eyes, she turned and fled back up the hall from whence she'd come. Emeraude gathered herself to her feet as her lieutenant, Tifa, arrived. "Shall I pursue her, Lawkeeper," asked the younger woman? She'd heard the noise and come running. "No," muttered Huntress. "I... deserved that."

Shaking off her shock, she asked, "is the Envoy safe?" The lieutenant replied, "yes, ma'am. She's in the antechamber with the other officials." Huntress told the younger woman to return to the Envoy. She didn't want the Matriarch's granddaughter getting eaten after all. As for herself, she had somewhere to be. There was someone she needed to talk to. The wizard left her lieutenant staring at her back as she went up the hall. That wasn't the fearsome reputation that everyone in the Grey Forest knew, but Emeraude didn't care. Right now she was hurting, and she wanted to see the one person who was sort of at the core of what was wrong in her life right now.

Simone had been the person to _see_ what was really wrong with her. Simone was the person who convinced her to _retire_. If Finn had _taken her in_ , it was with Simone's permission. Simone Mertens was her best friend in the world, and it was Simone she'd followed away from the treehouse and her happy home life to pursue this thing of theirs. It was fitting that she went to Simone to find the answer to her current predicament. Should she stay in the Grey Forest? Or should she go home–her _real_ home.

The Ice Queen was in the Privy Chamber upstairs, putting on her face. She wanted to look her best today. When Emeraude walked in, she was daubing her lips with a pale blue shade of lipstick–her signature color. In spite of the miles on the both of them, the Ice Queen was still beautiful. Now that she was using magic again, her aging had been arrested, and she looked dynamite. She was Betty's heavy-hitter. Her face opened doors among the wizarding class of Ooo, letting them into places that Simon couldn't get into.

The wood nymph wizard stopped there in the doorway as she had a dreadful epiphany. Some nasty accusations had gotten exchanged when Finn was caught out with Phoebe. Now, as she stood there watching her best friend, Emeraude realized that her aunt had been right. She'd said that Betty was willing to burn up anybody or throw away anything to achieve power. Staring at Simone, realizing just how far the two of them had fallen, Emeraude found that Betty had done just that. The older woman had thrown away her daughter's marriage–a marriage that had been inconvenient to her plans anyway.

"Hey," said Simone, as she finished daubing her lips. "Hi," replied Emeraude. "We haven't seen each other..." Simone flushed. Shutting the door, Emeraude walked towards her friend, saying, "we... we didn't talk about this." Which was something that they always swore to do. Unless it was a spur-of-the-moment emergency, with no chance to stall for time, they always talked decisions through. Together. They were in this together. Thick and thin.

"Alright," sighed Simone. This wasn't the best time, but they hadn't been having a lot of good times lately. As the wood nymph came closer, Simone realized that somebody had punched her. She had a pair of split and bruised lips. Shooting to her feet in a fury, the Ice Queen demanded, "who did that?!" Glancing away, Emeraude sighed, "Star." "W-what," howled an astonished Simone?! Nodding, the once-and-former Huntress Wizard said, "she slapped some sense into me, Simone. I... What're we doing here? Really? Who's dream is this anyway? If you ask Simon, he'd really rather be back in the Candy Kingdom–maybe chasing a couple grand-kids around his living room. So w-why? Why're we here, Simone?"

Simone glanced away. She was here because her father... _No,_ she thought. _That's a lie, and you know it._ She had been lieing to herself about her motivations for nearly two years now. She wasn't in this to help her father because, when you got right down to it, Emeraude was right. Simon Petrikov had no use for the title of Grand Master. Lucid, Simon could have challenged the insipid jackass who'd held that title any time he wanted. He knew more about magic than most of the wizards of Ooo put together. They both did. He didn't _need_ the job. The only person who seemed to truly _want_ this was Betty. And Simone? Were she honest with herself, she wanted to please the older woman.

She wanted to please Betty Petrikov and finally have the love of a mother–love she'd been missing all her 'life'. She wanted Betty to be proud of her. She wanted Betty not to push her away or to berate her. She wanted Betty to love her the way her father did. She'd spent seventeen years trying to win Betty over. It was seventeen years of failure, with her father growing further and further away from her over time. This had been her chance to prove to Betty that she was a daughter worthy of the name. Emeraude said, "we can fix this. I... we'll go home. We'll get help. We'll fix things." Slowly, Simone nodded.

Just then, there came a knocking at the door. Simone called out, "who is it?" "Deliveryman," came the answer. Frowning, Simone replied, "come in. Please." She hadn't been expecting a delivery. Anything she needed, she usually just went down and picked up. "Maybe it's an apology from Finn," murmured Emeraude. She'd seen him briefly that morning, and he had been polite if not conciliatory. No passive-aggressive shit. Just his typical self.

The deliveryman came in and lay the package on the table. "Sign here," he said. The Ice Queen signed the slip, and the young wizard got on his way, vanishing in a puff of smoke. Emeraude shut the door on him, her mind on how to move things forward. She had Simone listening. Now how did _she_ get out of her commitments? Walking back across the room, she found Simone staring at the box. "Open it," the wood nymph urged. Frowning a little, Simone conjured an ice-knife and did just that, slitting the package open.

As Emeraude came near, Simone opened the flaps, revealing a terrifyingly familiar object. Time slowed down just then as a mesmerized Simone reached for the Ice Tiara. Huntress's eyes grew big as plates, and she dove forward, shouting, "no!" Both women's hands grasped the crown at the same time. And then there was darkness.

Just off the reception hall, Finn stood with Simon, just talking for a change. It had been _forever_ since they just chatted. And strangely enough, that was helping. He was shocked to learn that what he, Simone, and E were going through was part of life. It happened to _all_ couples as they got older. Age brought restlessness–especially once the kids hit the door. The important thing was to keep talking.

In sad tones, Finn said, "it's kinda' been hard lately." "She feels it too, Finn," said Simon. Finn gave him a suspicious look. Simon asked, "where'd you think she came when you had that fight before the Memorial?" Face flushed, Finn just stared. Nodding, Simon told him, "she was kind of a mess when she found out about Billy and Fionna, Finn. You hurt her with that stuff about 'handling it' without her." Finn's blush deepened. It had been meant to hurt her. He had been angry that she wouldn't talk to him even for the kids' sake. "She knows it now, Finn," said Simon, "but that's a bad way to communicate..." Finn acknowledged that with a nod.

As Simon considered delving into the cheating allegations, music announced that it was time to go in. Immediately he turned and headed for the door to the reception. Checking his formal robes, the new Grand Master stepped out into the hall to receive the Crowned Heads of Ooo. As he strode across the hall, the Wiz Guard came to attention and applause greeted him. It was a little disconcerting, though he could see how men got swelled heads. Making his way to the dais, he found his beautiful wife waiting on him. Strangely, his daughter was missing. For a moment, he looked around for her. His son was there in the audience with Fionna, but there was no sign of the person who'd contributed so much to the victory. Simone really ought to be here. Seeing him there gawping like a looky-lou, Betty grabbed his sleeve and pulled him onto the dais. Simon turned to the crowd, with a sheepish look on his face and began to speak.

That's when sickly brown and black vines burst through the wall on his right.

The Wiz Guard rushed to their leader's aide. Two were immediately felled by bolts of ice. Two more sucked down blast-arrows and got pulped on the spot. At the same time, screams rang out as more vines erupted from the ground, slashing at the innocents in the audience. Betty froze, but Simon shoved her behind the throne as the last four guards got wrapped up in vines and crushed. They had been dancing on eggshells these last weeks. Three of the madwomen Finn cared so much for were doing all they could to find the Ice Tiara and to figure out just what had happened with the Lich. They had all labored under a cloud of fear, wondering if or when their opponent would strike. Now they had their answer.

Shouting for his son and daughters to clear the room, Finn the Human went wading into the fight one more time. A blackened vine tried to snare him, but a tendril of the grass sword swatted it away. A dozen ice daggers flew his way, only to be deflected by one of his shield disks, and then he slashed his way through two more flailing vines. He was just as fast as he had always been and just as composed. In the fight, all the worries about his marriage and his kids–all the nameless fears that plagued a man who had lived longer than he was supposed to live–faded into the darkness. His people were in danger, and he had to save them.

Behind him, Star conjured a defense disk of her own, using it to shield Princess Bubblegum as the Banana Guards hustled the older woman out the door by the simple expedient of picking her up like a toy and carrying her. At her side, Sarah blocked vines and ice-bolts with her very body when they might have killed the Candy Monarch, and when she wasn't doing that, she feared for her lover's life. Billy snatched up Anders, shoved Ragnhild behind him, and conjured a wall of ice to shield her delegation as they cleared the room. Those were the important people for him. He would do what he could for the rest, but Ragnhild and Anders came first.

In a series of delaying actions, the various delegations fought their way to the exits, some finding the way out choked with vines or blocked by ice. The men of the Warrior Kingdom stacked up at one of the doors, having to literally hack their way through a wall of sickly yellow overgrowth, costing many lives in the process as the vines almost negligently slashed back, skewering or crushing several. Through all the chaos, Simon remained on the dais, sheltering Betty with his very body, using his magic to keep the deadly vines at bay, hoping against hope that Finn could stop the assault. Unfortunately, just as Finn cut his way through the last barrier, two unlikely creatures emerged from the room beyond the shattered wall. The big man stopped dead in his tracks, shocked senseless at what he was seeing.

Simone. Wearing the Ice Tiara.

It was everything he feared all at once, and he stopped right where he was and stared. Simone. Wearing the Ice Tiara. The Ice Queen had been reborn. Indeed, her eyes glowing with a malignant, dark light, the pale beauty floated forward, her exposed skin covered in ugly bluish-purple blotches. What was he going to do this time? How would he cure her? Just as those thoughts passed his mind, he was struck by a far more terrible shock as his wife of twenty years spoke in a voice that was terrifyingly familiar.

"Hello, old friend," rumbled the Lich. The Lich. Speaking. With Simone's lips. Finn almost fell to his knees right there. Alighting before him, the Lich padded forward, feet click-clacking on the floor in Simone's heels. He'd bought those shoes. He'd bought those shoes a lifetime ago, when they were just starting out. It was like Billy all over again. But worse. "You bastard," growled Finn. "Didn't your nasty dog of a mother teach you not to swear, kid," asked the Lich? Ignoring the words and the package that spat them out, Finn demanded, "what the fuck do you want?"

With a shrug, the Lich replied, "same as before, buddy. The world has to end. That's just how it is." "You sick fucker," muttered Finn. "Not sick, Finn," the Lich said with a sly smile. "Hadn't you heard? Nobody gets out alive. You're all going to die eventually. I'm just... _hurrying things along_." They began to circle each other, Finn warily trying to keep an eye on the mass of wriggling vines that had slithered in after the Lich. He didn't dare get caught between them. He'd learned over the years that the strange shoulder-armor that Nadia gave him could only help him against things he could see. If he got too focused on one foe, the other would get him for sure.

"I'm'a send you to the Night-O-Sphere, buddy," said Finn. "I'll let Hunson deal with you." The Lich paused, telling Finn he'd scored something of a hit there. "Yeah," said Finn. "You can spend a nice, _long_ time with Hunson. He and I are buds, man." The Lich's hesitation let Finn get the two of them in front of him again. This was going to be close, but he thought he now had the power to defeat his old enemy. He was faster than before. He had his impenetrable shield, and he had the Finn Sword. Plus he had Simon for backup.

It began in the blink of an eye, the Lich hurling spears of ice at him while the vine-creature tried to grab him. Sword flicking this way and that–and with a timely assist from the Grass-Sword–Finn cut his way through, got in close, and prepared to cut the body of his wife in two. " _Finn_ ," howled Simone?! "W-what?!" The big man hesitated a moment, and that let the vine creature snatch her away. "Nice trick," muttered Finn. "Trick," chuckled the Lich? "No trick, old buddy. That's sweet Simone. Want to talk to her?" Simone's body shook a moment, as if she was clearing away the cobwebs from her mind. "Finn," she burbled. "W-what am I...?" Just as quickly, Simone was gone again.

The Lich said, "I gotta' admit, Finn. I fucked up. I underestimated you twice, bro." Shaking his/her head, the Lich told him, "figured I had you buffaloed with that thing with Billy. Never figured on you and the dog wishing away my wish. Spent better part of a year in a funke over that. But that let me think. I been thinking about this the whole time I was trapped in that idiot's head. I figured you out." "Screw you," muttered Finn. The Lich chuckled, "this is how it's going to work, buddy. I'm'a go kill the planet. Every. Living. Thing. When it's over, I'll kill _you_. And Finn... Yeah, buddy, you're gonna' let me this time. Know why?"

Finn had his suspicions. The Lich confirmed it as the front of the vine creature parted, and Emeraude's nude torso emerged. Her eyes were rolled back in her head, and when she spoke, it was like listening to stereo. "I'll let you see them one last time, Finn," said the Lich. In stereo. "Maybe I'll even let you fuck 'em. Then I kill the three of you. You'll literally be the last man on Ooo." Finn screamed at him. "Speaking of which," said the Lich. Pointing, he hurled an ice-spear over Finn's head. Finn knew instinctually who that was meant for. Whirling about, faster than the eye could follow, he deflected that spear, turning it aside with one of his disks.

A vine gashed Finn's leg, but the big man followed through, doing a neat tuck-and-roll and diving away as more ice-spears flew at Simon. The older man conjured defenses of his own, but without the Ice Crown, he was no real match for the power of the Ice Tiara. The vines and ice-bolts quickly eroded his defenses. Finn rushed into position to protect him, conjuring defense-discs with manic speed to counter the ferocity of the Lich's attack. "Not bad, old chum," said the Lich. "Not bad at all. You're fast as fuck. I'll give you that. But treachery beats youth every time."

As the Lich spoke those words, a vine tore its way up through the stone floor. The Grand Master almost dodged aside, but the sharpened tip speared Simon's thigh, piercing the artery there. As Betty screamed, the vine withdrew, leaving Simon Petrikov laying there bleeding out. Finn heard the scream, but he was too busy deflecting ice-bolts. Then, just as suddenly as the assault began, the Lich ended it, withdrawing behind a wall of vines. Finn spun around and raced to Simon's aid.

He found Betty covered in blood pleading with her husband to breath. She pleaded with him to stay awake. "D-doesn't matter," wheezed Simon. "Finn. Don't... don't let this be the end. You can save her. Don't let this be the end." Finn picked him up like he was a toy and rushed towards the exit, hoping to find somebody– _anybody_ –with medical skill. Simon was fading fast, though. "Take care of Betty, Finn," he sighed. "Please. I know..." "Don't go, Simon," Finn pleaded. "I'm'a get you to a doctor. Stay, buddy. Stay with me." "I'm not gonna' make it, Finn," Simon sighed. "Not from this kind of wound. Take care of Betty, Finn. Swear it." "I swear, man," Finn sobbed. "I swear it." And then Simon was gone.

Standing in the wrecked corridor outside the Reception Hall, Finn let loose a terrible howl of despair–a cry of pain and loss that sent shivers down the spines of all within hearing. Deep inside him, a voice from the darkness whispered dark thoughts to him. Somebody needed to pay. Somebody had caused this catastrophe, and they were going to pay. They were going to pay and pay and pay.

 **And we've been building to this moment. Finn and the Lich at war not only for the fate of Ooo but for the fate of Finn's family.**


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36:

The fallout was epic.

The Wiz Guards were stirred up, giving everybody the third, fourth, and fifth degree. Betty was a hysterical mess, and Simone was gone, so there was nobody in charge of the city to rein them in. Finn had been forced to stop them from zapping half a dozen different people, including a few who were obviously wounded. He had been delighted to find that Nadia's people had managed to save quite a few of the guests with their forcefield biz or the body-count would have been higher. As it was, the Warrior-Kingdom delegation was decimated, with only their leader and a handful of his closest guards having survived. Several of their wives and family members had been slain by vines. The Lich had frozen twenty people in one shot, killing the envoy from the Grey Forest and her companions too.

It was bad every way you looked at it, and there seemed nobody but Finn even trying to do anything about it. Padding through the makeshift hospital with Dr. Princess at his side, Finn found Bonnie standing over Sarah, staring at the android girl in a state of shock. "She saved me," murmured Bonnie. "She saved a bunch of us..." Finn rushed up to find that his girl had a chunk of vine stuck deep into her middle. A shock of terror and rage welled up inside him. Before he could say a word, though, the android girl's face turned to his, looking battered and ravaged with half the right side missing, revealing the steel skeleton underneath. She was trying to smile. She was actually trying to smile. Reaching out with her good arm, she scratched some words in the dust. "I'm ok," she told him. "Take care of business."

Dr. Princess was very interested in the innards and organs hanging out of her middle. "Are those," she burbled? Her fascination with the android-woman was tangible. "I can fix her," sighed Bonnie. "I... I will fix her. Finn, get going. I need you to keep things moving until Betty's ready to take charge." Grimly, the big man moved on. Behind him, he could hear Bonnie telling Sarah, "I'm gonna' have to shut your primary systems down to preserve your power supply until we can get you home. I can grow you some new organs." There was a brief pause, then he heard Bonnie giggle, "yes, you'll probably dream."

Making himself focus on the job, Finn walked over to the chief of the Wiz Guard, who was talking to Nadia. "Captain," muttered the sullen wizard. "Status," asked Finn? The wizard bristled, but Finn shut him down. "The Grand Master's cabinet is wrecked. Until one of them's able to take charge, you'll answer to me," said the big man. The wizard went to raise his staff, but Finn feinted at his eyes and disarmed him when he went to protect himself. Snatching up the staff he'd dropped, the big man actually use his own weapon against him. Raising his voice so that everyone nearby could see, Finn said, "anybody else want to argue? No? Wiz Guards, fan out. I need to know who brought the Ice Tiara here. All able bodied soldiers are on patrol. No exceptions..."

Baron Elftmann shouted, "you don't have the right...!" Finn hefted the stick that had been the head Wiz Cop and replied, "who wants to argue?" There turned out to be no takers. Not even the Baron himself wanted to risk becoming a stick. Shoving the head Wizard Cop into his belt, Finn told Nadia, "post your dudes at the entries. Block them. It'll take him a while to get through the outer walls." He didn't wait for her answer. Moving on to Breezy, he said, "need one of your dudes to track my buddy. From a safe distance. No heroics. Find out which way he's going." That brought him to Billy. "After you get your dudes on patrol, find out who stood to gain from Simon's death," said Finn. This wasn't the first attempt on Simon's life, and Finn had never liked the answers he'd gotten last time. As the stunned dignitaries looked on, their bodyguards hopped to it, obeying Finn the Human's commands as if _he_ was their master.

Meanwhile, down in Death's rock quarry, Marceline, the former Vampire Queen, had come to a decision. This one had been centuries in the making, and she'd mostly refuse to even acknowledge it when the subject came up. Now, she was out of time. The Peppermint asshole had come by to tell her that Death's plan was in motion. He was moving against Finn, Bonnie, and Simon. Especially Simon. His hatred for that old man was pathological. She had to do _something_. For that, she had to get out of here, but she wasn't planning on being Death's hound–murdering people for his profit.

But she had other options.

Brianna sat opposite her, chewing her way through a breakfast of stale cereal and spoiled bug-milk. She'd explained the significance once and refused to discuss it ever again. Much like Marceline's own issues with her father, that meal signified the issues that Brianna had–the very ones that had sent her spiraling into the life she'd been leading before her death. The dark-haired beauty turned and stared off across the quarry to the losers that sat there. She hadn't lost any of her spirit, and she'd been looking for a way out of this place since day one. Honestly, Marcy wasn't sure why she hadn't just insisted on moving on to the Night-O-Sphere. Better to rule in hell and all that.

Marceline herself had been considering that very topic. She'd been working every angle of the problem since she'd arrived. There was no way that Death was letting her out of here–not without a signed contract. Having pissed on his parade, she could expect that he would put the screws to her the very next time they chatted. It would be all out, no quarter, and it wouldn't be a measly hundred souls. Quite likely she would be forced to do the unthinkable, which would merely replace one undead scourge with another. After a lot of soul-searching, she had come to the conclusion that there was no escape from fate.

Reaching out, she snatched the carton of bug-milk from Brianna's grasp. As the mobster shouted and cussed at her, Marceline calmly got up and began pouring it out on the ground. As she did so, she whispered a dreadful incantation, one she hadn't used in ten years. Her father still watched over her. She was still the anti-Glob, after all. She was his prize. She was supposed to submerge the world in darkness and rule over the Night-O-Sphere for eternity and all that. Unfortunately Marceline had sort of stopped talking to him. Now, as Brianna tried to take the milk from her hands, Marceline completed the incantation to summon the Great Dark Lord of Hell.

"What the fuck'd you do that for," howled Brianna?! She didn't exactly like munching on clotted-up milk, but it beat starving! After starving herself for days, she needed something to keep her going in her quest to escape. Calmly, Marceline said, "I'm getting us out of here." She hoped she was. This was still Death's Domain–the world _in between_ life and eternity. Did her father have sway here? He had some power over Death. He didn't seem to fear Hunson Abadeer, but he also didn't seem to want to be on his bad side.

As the two bickered, a portal formed, black as a night in the Night-O-Sphere and scintillating with all sorts of strange colors. Marceline calmly stepped back, shoving Brie behind her as the portal grew and grew, finally disgorging a titanic figure, a hundred feet tall with an ugly bulbous head, translucent jowls, and tentacles sticking out of his neck. A terrified Brianna pissed herself on the spot as the Lord of Darkness strode out into the quarry wearing an ugly cardigan sweater over uglier golf-shorts. "Souls," howled the evil being! "Fresh ones!" He scarcely heard Marceline as she shouted for his attention. Instead, he went stomping across the landscape towards the others. _Better head that off,_ thought the former Vampire Queen, as she raced, on foot, after her evil daddy.

Hunson Abadeer rarely got the freshest of souls. Usually they had been dead a long, long while before falling out with Theo and ending up taking that last walk. It was rare these days that somebody was dumb enough to sell their soul to him directly. Those were the freshest of all. These souls before him were a little stale, but much fresher than what he usually got. As he strode forward, looking around him, he found himself in a strangely familiar place. He'd passed this spot on his way to play a few rounds with Theo. _Am I in Theo's place,_ thought the Dark Lord? He was due to play golf with Theo in a few hours, but Theo had never dared do something so silly as to _summon_ him. What the fuck?

Stopping before the huddling, terrified masses, Hunson fought down his hunger for a moment as he puzzled over how he'd gotten here. Yeah, this was Theo's place. These were the schmucks he was always hoarding and keeping from Hunson's grasp. It was tempting to gobble a few up just to spite the old fucker. Just then Theo came out of the foreman's shack, shouting at Hunson. "What're you doing here," demanded Death, as he shed the shape he took on to monitor his toys? The zoot-suited entity that was the avatar of Mortality came running down the slope, cussing and fuming.

"Was hoping you could tell me," replied Hunson, as he shrank down to his more manageable size. As Theo skidded to a halt in front of him, the Dark Lord said, "somebody summoned me." "But there's no bug-mil...," howled Theo, stopping in mid-sentence as he realized that he'd been tormenting one of his pets with that very substance for weeks now. It was a short leap from there to just who had summoned Hunson. "Daddy," puffed Marceline, as she stopped in front of her father.

Brianna gawped at her! The Devil was her _father_?! "Punkin," stammered Hunson?! "W-what're you doin' here?" Marceline was too busy huffing-and-puffing to answer. She hadn't had to run anywhere in a long, long while. The Prince of Darkness turned to his oldest pal and howled, " _Theo_?! What the fuck're you doin' t'my kid?! We had a deal!" "Uh...," stammered Death. Hunson wrapped a protective arm around his child. Death sighed heavily and said, "my job's to keep mortality movin', Hunson. Fucking Finn the Human and that loser, Simon, have been in my way. I needed an edge. She's one of mine. She's a vampire." "Was," retorted Marceline. "You took my powers." Turning to her father, she said, "daddy, he's been keeping me here against my will."

Hunson turned back to his friend and demanded, "is this true?" A defiant Theo replied, "yeah. She's supposed to work for me. That's part of the deal. No workie, no powers." "Ok," said Marceline. "Keep your fucking powers. I'm going home with daddy." Hunson spun about to face his child. "Honey," he murmured. "I-is this true?" "Yeah," said Marceline. "I... It's time, dad." Frowning, he said, "you know what this means, Marcy?" Flushing, the half-demon murmured, "I'm... not ready to go full time, daddy, but I'm willing to spell you..." Hunson thought about that for a while. It was the same deal his dad had given him. "Well," said Hunson. "I guess we can work it out, sweetie-pie." Dry chuckle and he said, "means more time for golf!" "Ugh," howled Marceline. The Prince of Darkness reminded her, "it beats doin' standup like your gramps." Marceline groaned as she thought of the one time she'd listened to her grandfather's routine. That old man could tell some groaners!

"W-what about me," howled Death?! "You're lucky I still want to play," muttered Hunson. "I'll see you in an hour. C'mon, punkin. Let's get home." "One last thing, daddy," said Marceline. She was going to need a henchman–somebody she understood and could trust. Turning to the former Mafia Princess, the new Princess of Darkness said, "you want a job, Brie? It's not nice, but it beats chasing rocks." "Sure, girlie," said the deceased mobster. "Let's go." She gave Death the Italian-salute as she followed her new boss towards the distant portal.

Late that first day, while her father was playing a few rounds with a barely repentant Theo, Marceline stepped out onto the surface of Ooo under the late afternoon sun. It felt a little strange to feel the sun on her face without being burned by it, and she couldn't seem to help running her tongue over her canines. No more fangs. "So what now," asked Brie? "You go answer calls," replied Marceline. "I'm... I got some unfinished business." "Sure," said Brie. "Do I get to punish anybody?" With a shrug, Marceline replied, "if any idiots from the Soul Pits come whining about something, do whatever comes to mind..." With that, Marceline set out–walking–towards the distant site of Wizard City.

Ahead of her, Finn the Human was sitting down with his kids to go over what they'd found. The news was a little grim. "He killed a fair number of wizards on his way out the door, dad," sighed Star. "People with the might to stop him," sighed Finn. Billy had more dire news. "The Tiara was delivered by a broom-messenger," he said. "Came from a shop in the shady part of town. I tracked him there and... had a few words with him." Fionna, who'd gone with him, cut right to the chase. "Your fucking _girlfriend_ did this, dad," she shouted! "She sicced that fucking fiend on moms!" The pretty blonde took a swing at Finn, and it was only by a miracle that she missed. Grabbing her arm and holding her back, Billy reminded her, "you do realize your bones are hard as diamond, sis? I know you're mad at him, but do you really want to kill our father?"

It took a great deal of diplomacy and a lot of soothing words to talk Fionna down from pummeling their father. When they had her calm again, Billy told their anxious dad, "he's mobbed-up, dad. That whole shop is controlled by gangsters. Wiz Cops know it as a hotbed of criminal activity. Smuggling potions. Cursed artifacts. The whole biz." Unlike his sister, he wasn't sure if it was Cherry or not, but it didn't look good at the moment. "Alright," said Finn. "Hold down the fort. I'm'a go find out the truth." Rising, he headed for the door. "W-what do we do in the mean-time," asked Star? "Get the Princesses back to Bonnie's place," said Finn. "We can protect them better there." They would have the Gumball Guardians among other things, and Bonnie would probably want to hold a meeting as soon as she could get enough princesses there.

Finn went out, got in his truck, and began the long drive to the Mafia Princess's palace. As he drove, he found himself reflecting on some hard truths that he was going to have to deal with. He was a man who did his best for the people he loved, respected, and cared for. If he cared about a person, he would always go to the mat for that person, even when they were clearly in the wrong. It was a defining part of who he was, and it had stood him in good stead over the decades of his life. Bonnie frequently marveled at him and the way he managed not to lose himself in the constant fights with monsters and other assorted evil-doers over the years. On several occasions she'd even threatened to take him apart to see what made him tick. She'd only been _half_ joking because Finn knew that Peebles was, in a lot of ways, as damaged as he was pure.

The ugly world she'd come to life in had colored the way Bonnibel Bubblegum looked on the world. Finn was uncomfortably aware sometimes of just how deeply the world had colored Peebles. She'd lost Marceline a time or two when the Vampire Queen went feral on her. She'd seen people betray her. Ironically, Finn had betrayed her in a previous incarnation as _Shoko_. Thinking of that made him chuckle. Peebles had subtly named their daughter after him. If he'd been at all thinking about it, he might have questioned that. Still, in short, the ugly tide of betrayal and treachery needed to remain in control of the Candy Kingdom and to protect it from all comers had changed the princess. Now Finn saw that he was going to have to change too.

 _They're gone,_ he thought. The Lich never left anyone alive. He'd killed Billy and wore him like a coat. He had to reconcile it in his mind. He had to internalize it and make himself live with it. There wasn't going to be a second chance. He wasn't going to have a chance to fix things with the girls. The Lich had taken them from him. If he failed to heed the lessons of the past, he would lose this war, and the people of Ooo would suffer the consequences. He had to let them go. Even if it meant he never loved anyone again.

Rolling up on the towering Vaults, the big man exited his truck, strode straight up to the security cordon around the place, and announced himself. The Deputy Sheriff there allowed him past. He wasn't sure what he would find inside. Honestly, he halfway wished that Cherry would be gone. That would tell him what he needed to know without the confrontation. He didn't really want to know that she'd betrayed him. At least he didn't want to hear the words from her lips. He would much have preferred to simply hunt her down and kill her from a distance.

The place was still heavily patrolled by guards, though rumor held that many of the crime bosses who kept their dirty secrets here had slipped in and moved their shit out. Finn's keen mind filed away the locations of all the guards and all the defenses as he made his way up to his evil girlfriend's quarters. The receptionist had indicated that she was holding forth from the south side of the tower in an apartment there, and Finn went straight there.

Her old butler was there to meet him at the door when he arrived. "Good day, sir," said he. "I need to see her," muttered Finn without preamble. "She's expecting you, sir," said the butler. That was ominous. She knew he was coming. What did that say about how this was going to go? Finn motioned for the butler to lead on. Striding through the place, he could see that she was starting to move in. Like she owned the place. That was at once just like her and, at the same time, at odds with the situation. He wasn't quite sure now what to make of that.

They found the little beauty pouring over documents in her office with the sun streaming in behind her. The brilliant sunlight made her pale hair glow and gave a rich, reddish cast to her strange skin. "Afternoon, honey," she said. "Jeeves? Finn's come a long way. Will you go and get him something to eat?" "At once, madam," crowed the butler. He spun on his heel and headed out, leaving Finn alone with the woman he loved/hated.

As Finn approached, he got a good look at what she was looking at. The books were ancient and looked to have been purloined from Turtle Prince's library. She had the power to do that. The entirety of the underworld obeyed her. As he stared at the documents on the table, he saw pictures and drawings of terrible creatures made of nothing but ooze. "They're called the _Dipped_ ," said the petite hottie, as she slid one of the pictures across to him. "Nasty creatures..." Finn didn't touch the picture. Instead he was focused on her. She already knew what had brought him. She'd been expecting him.

"For the record," said she. "I had no need or desire to see them dead, Finn." She continued to thumb through the book in front of her. "Don't you," he murmured? "This all points at you... You've... You're neck-deep in this!" Shaking her head, she said, "the person who did this... The person who would have conspired with the Lich isn't a gangster who wants to extort Ooo and rid herself of a few rivals, Finn. Only a fool could even think they could control the Lich..." Finn paused. That was absolutely true. Shaking her head, she said, "only someone who wants the destruction of all of creation could want this, Finn, and, in spite of my losses, that does not describe me."

Looking up at him for the first time, she studied him carefully, her dark eyes burning into his. He found _longing_ there. "I have a beautiful son," she sighed, "and a wonderful man who still loves me in spite of all I've done and all that lies between us..." The big man flushed to his hair, because he knew that was true. Shaking her head, she said, "only someone who has suffered a horrific loss would want this, Finn–someone who's had everything she loved taken from her..." A gasp left his lips as he filled in the blank at last, "Penny..."

Nodding, Cherry said, "she's been working at it almost since the first, honey. The man who'd paid her to deliver your precious daughter to him in Oceanside? He was her first victim. She let herself be captured, then paid off the guards with every last penny she had to leave her with one dagger." She'd killed her would-be captor with that dagger. She'd killed off his two most important lieutenants, leaving _Penny_ as secret ruler of Oceanside. "From there she started looking," said Cherry. Gesturing to indicate the documents before her, "Thor got these. It cost most of his team their lives, but he brought this back to me. She stole this from the Great Library." Finn sat down. He had a great need to sit down and think right now. Penny had freed the Lich. Penny was using the Lich to get revenge on the world. His mind screamed, and he wished he could just curl up somewhere, go to sleep, and pretend this day never happened.

Elsewhere, a massive caravan came tearing down the road from Wizard City. It was comprised of dozens of conveyances ranging from the ordinary to the fantastical. Around that caravan rode or flew hundreds of heavily armed and paranoid soldiers. At its head, riding in the armored limousine she'd inherited from Cherry Cream Soda, sat Bonnibel Bubblegum. She was in a state of turmoil right now. She was going to have to tell Phoebe what had happened to Simone–at great risk to Phoebe's child, and she wasn't looking forward to it. She was reasonably certain she could protect the palace and its surroundings from the elemental's rage, but she wasn't so sure she could protect the child. She'd been worrying over it since the ugly event had happened.

As she was pondering what to do, the convoy came screeching to a halt. She heard angry voices outside, and the sounds of someone running past the limousine. A chill of fear went through her. Was this an attack? Momentarily, she heard the door to her limousine be torn open and then a girlish scream. "Marceline," burbled the candy-princess. Opening the limo's passenger-side door, Bonnie stepped out to find Marceline the Vampire Queen standing next to the rear door, staring in. "It's P-Bot," said Bonnie. "She got smashed up protecting me." The vampire woman rushed towards her, threw her arms around the pink princess, and tried to hug the stuffing out of her.

To the shock of everybody there–Bonnibel included–Marceline kissed her old friend thoroughly. The Candy Monarch's face was crimson when the vampire let her go. "W-what," stammered Bonnie? "I thought he fucking killed you," muttered Marceline. Her eyes went to the battered android, and she only now saw the alloy bones and polymer muscles visible under P-Bot's shredded flesh. "She's sleeping," said Bonnie. "Conserving power until I can get her home and patch her up." Moving on, the Princess shut the door and motioned for Marceline to accompany her to the front of the car.

"Where have you _been_ ," Bonnie demanded? "Finn's been looking for you... _calling_ you for ages." Billy the Human Boy was standing there looking irritated and rather like he wanted the answer to that himself. "Death was holding me prisoner," Marceline murmured. With a sheepish look, she admitted, "you were right, Bonnie. I... should have listened." Shaking that off, the raven-haired beauty, asked, "where's Finn? Where's Simon? Death's trying to stir Cherry into releasing the Lich." "Dad went to confront her," said Billy. "If you're coming, we need to move. I need to get all these people into Bonnie's palace for their protection." Marceline squeezed into the front seat of the limo with Bonnie and the driver, and they set out once again.

As the car covered the miles to the Candy Kingdom, Bonnie filled a horrified Marceline in on what had been going on. The former Vampire Queen was close to tearing her hair out when she got done. She was shocked to learn of what had happened to Simon and horrified at the fate of Finn's wives. The only way it could have been _any_ worse was to have seen it happen. "No," said Bonnie. "Worse comes when we tell Phoebe." Marceline's head whipped around. Staring straight ahead, Bonnie told her best friend, "she's pregnant with Finn's child, Marceline. We don't know if it's the pregnancy or something else, but the medicine she's been taking to control her moods isn't working right now. I'm afraid of how her reaction to the news will affect the child."

Marceline wasn't sure what shocked her more–the fact that flame-butt was in a family way or the fact that Finn had been getting busy with her. "You started it," muttered Bonnie. There was a little irritation in her voice. When the vampire turned to face her, Bonnie said, "she overheard you with Finn in his office that night we got trapped by the knife-storm..." Marceline flushed. That was supposed to be a secret. "You're going to help me explain this to her," said the Princess.

Phoebe was crawling the walls of her little home in Bonnie's dungeon when the pair came through the door. The beautiful elemental girl didn't look preggers, but it had only been a month. She did look radically different from the way Marceline remembered her. For one, she didn't look like a candle about to burn up all on its own. As the pair approached, Bonnie said, "I brought you a cup of tea." "I'm good," sat Phoebe. "Peppermint Butler already brought me a cup this morning." She was in pretty good spirits, all told. Part of that was the outfit that lay on the table in the corner. She'd tried it on twice now, and Bonnie was growing confident in its ability to help her. That had the Flame King considering going home soon. Bonnie had made her wait though. She had to wait until the Candy Monarch returned hom from the coronation in Wizard City to do one last test.

As the tall candy person passed the console, she casually adjusted the damping field, winding it up stronger than it had ever been before. She did it as carefully as she could, but there was no way that Phoebe wouldn't notice. "W-what...," gasped the younger woman? Much to Marceline's shock, flame butt fell to her knees. "W-why're...," wheezed Phoebe? "Why're you doin' this...?" "Because I have some very bad news to tell you, Phoebe," Bonnie replied. It was her best clinical tone–painfully antiseptic. "If your child is to survive, I have to do this," she said, as she wound the field up even stronger than before. "It's...," gasped the Flame King. "Y-you're..." The elemental's skin was turning an ugly shade of pale brown, fading to an ashen gray in places. It was clear she wasn't doing very well at all, and Marceline came close to pushing Bonnie away from the controls.

"Simone is dead," murmured Bonnie. "The Lich killed her this morning."

It took barely an instant for those words to register. And then a blast of molten fire burst from the Flame King's eyes, melting the containment cell door. Bonnie dialed up the containment field to its strongest level, as she tried to tell her colleague about how her best friend had met her fate. Wisps of flame shot up and down Phoebe's arms as the machinery strained against the power that was flowing out of her. "Help me," whined Phoebe! "Glob, please help me!" Marceline stepped forward and grabbed her by the arms. As Bonnie screamed in horror, the Princess of Darkness drew the Flame King into her embrace, smothering the flames in their entirety. When she drew back, she wasn't even singed.

"H-how did you do that," burbled Phoebe? Bonnie wanted to know too. Rushing forward, she completely forgot about the risk to herself. With a shrug, Marceline said, "later. Important thing is that we're over the crisis. Phoebes? You good?" "Y-yeah," stammered the stunned elemental. Phoebe stepped out of the containment vessel and walked straight over to her new outfit. Without so much as a word, she stripped off the dressing gown she'd been wearing since she had gotten sick at home. "Well, I see how you got knocked up," Marceline flippantly opined. The girl was built like a brick shit house.

Phoebe was blushing to her hair when she finished sealing herself into the suit. It went from her crotch to her neck, covering everything but her arms and legs. Now she bent and retrieved the dressing gown. As the other two Royals watched, she refashioned it with a burst of flame, fashioning a dress in a sinister, inky black. It fit. They were in mourning now. In spite of the travails and the disagreements, Bonnie mourned Simon and his daughter. He'd been a constant in her life, and now he was gone. Phoebe said, "is the Council here? Let's go meet them." Someone was going to pay for this.


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37:

Betty Petrikov knew she was dreaming. She had to be. Simon was dead. Her husband of twenty years was dead. He'd practically died in her arms. "Yeah," said Simon. "That wasn't a good moment. I kinda' wish Finn wasn't such a badass. There's stuff I still wanted to say to you." Betty laughed. "You even _sound_ like Simon," she chuckled. Simon laughed too. "Yeah," he said, "I was half afraid I'd be crazy like Ice King, but I been preparing for this." Betty frowned at the specter and asked, "preparing for what?" "For Death," said Simon. "He used to come by on the down-low when you were out. Ask Pat about my musician buddy sometime..."

"Death was in my house," Betty burbled? "Told you he hassled me," said Simon's ghost. "Kept tryin'a convince me to kick it... Figures he finally got me using my own kid." Betty was getting a little tired of this dream. Angrily she demanded, "what do you want?" Simon had expected no different. Betty wasn't much of a believer for a woman who was a wizard. It took all the effort he could muster not to roll his eyes. Softly, he told her, "somebody might come to you, Betty. In your dreams like this... He's going to come wearing my face, and he's going to try and get you to do every evil thing in the universe. Just like the bitch that killed me..." "Simone," howled Betty? "You're calling Simone a bitch?!" Simon did roll his eyes. "No, Betty," sighed the spirit. "The person who's really behind this. Anyways, you can't listen. If somebody comes to you wearing my face..." A voice from out of nowhere called out to Betty, shouting for her to wake up. "Damn," muttered the spirit.

Betty came awake with a start. It was Bonnibel's butler, and he was standing in her doorway. He looked _sinister_. Every time Betty looked at him, she saw sinister. Having learned that demons were very real and that this little shit was fucking around with them, Betty had come to an intense dislike of Princess Bonnibel's butler. Scrubbing her fingers through her hair, she snapped, "what do you want?" "When Your Excellency is ready," said Peppermint Butler, "I have the shower ready." Betty winced. Your Excellency. They were treating her as if _she_ was Grand Master. Though that had always been the plan–get Simon to bestow the title on _her_ when he got tired of it–she wasn't sure she was ready to hear that. Really she was _very_ sure she never wanted to hear it again. _You made this bed,_ she thought.

Slipping her legs out of bed, she told the evil bastard, "go on. I'll be out when I've washed." She didn't want his help. She wanted, more than anything, to go back to the start–turn her back on this whole thing. Unfortunately she'd made her bed. The only way to go was forward. When the butler had gone, Betty rose and headed for the shower wearing nothing but her birthday suit. That was part and parcel of her personality. Betty Groff, can-do feminist, wore a robe when she was dealing with her son, and she wore PJs when she was in someone else's house. Otherwise, why should she twist her habits to suit somebody else's archaic morality?

Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, she reflexively looked herself over, finding the same forty-something body that she'd had for the last twenty years. That was the painful part of all of this. A part of her would have been happy to get old. Then she could stop the pretense and quit worrying about her looks. Now she was caught _between_. She had stopped aging, but she couldn't de-age and go back to her younger days. She was physically young enough that it still seemed to matter how she looked. Did she admit it, she even still had the _urge_. At the same time, she was mentally much more mature, and she knew full well how ephemeral all this was. And, all at the same time, she couldn't really help comparing herself to that girl.

Her doppelganger.

Her husband had created Simone out of stray bits of memory, fashioning an idealized approximation of the woman he'd been happily shacked-up with before the war. And he loved her. That was the hell of it all. He shared a deep and enduring affection for the creature he'd created with a demon's power and a mad hope of having a companion. He would spend hours on the phone with her. He was there for every _moment_ of her life–from her giving birth to her daughter to the day that child went off to school. Some moments, it had seemed like Simon loved Simone more than he loved his biological offspring with Betty.

 _Face it, Betty,_ thought the older woman. _It's still there. It's_ always _going to be there._

Shaking off the powerful bonds of jealousy, the older woman got into the shower and began to wash, scrubbing her saggy, not-so-perfect boobies, sudsing her not-so-flawless skin, and even giving her mousy-brown hair a wash. Stepping out of the shower, she dried herself and headed back into the next room, wondering if she had anything to wear. They hadn't exactly stopped by her hotel to get her things. They'd come straight here from Wizard City, ostensibly under Bonnibel's protection. Of course the strange bubblegum woman wasn't high on Betty's list of people she trusted. Strangely enough, Bonnibel Bubblegum would have suited the feminist sensibilities of her twenty-first-century colleagues, but Betty found that made her absolutely untrustworthy. She was almost _treacherous_ to the older woman. Oddly enough, Betty missed Simone. Poor, guileless Simone, who's only ambition had been to raise her kids and grow old with her man.

 _You_ killed _her,_ thought Betty. _If not for you, she'd have been in that fucking treehouse, picking up after that slob._ She shouldn't have been there. Simone didn't have any need for any of that. Betty had used her love and affection for her 'father' to drag her into the campaign for the Grand Master's seat. Forcing those thoughts away, Betty went to the dresser where her dress was laying. Picking it up, she found it had been washed clean of Simon's blood. The little bastard had likely come in under the orders of his mistress and washed it for her. Part of her was delighted. Part of her still would have gone home and hidden her face from the world.

The Privy Council was already in session when Betty walked up to the chambers. She'd fantasized about coming there to that body of powerful women and sitting down among them like she was _somebody_. Now she _was_ somebody, and she came slinking in like she was the worst sort of jezebel. Not that Bonnibel let her for long. The minute she was within sight of that roomful of powerful people, the Candy Monarch called out to her, saying, "good morning, Your Excellency. I'm glad you're able to join us. Please come and sit in your place."

Breezy's scout had come back after flying all night and most of the previous day, and now the Queen Bee had the floor. Betty quickly found her seat and settled in to listen, though truth be told she had no idea what to do or say. When she was in her place, the bee-woman began the thread again. "Pic couldn't get very close," she said. "The air temperature made him very weak and drowsy." Pic was a giant bee. It made sense to Betty that he had troubles. If he'd gotten exposed to low temps from the Ice Crown, he'd likely gone into torpor.

"Pic," said Breezy, "reports that the Lich is creating an artificial island. One made of ice. He's frozen out the Fluffy People. I think there may be massive casualties." With a sigh, Desert Princess murmured, "that explains why we've lost contact..." Wildberry Princess was far less concerned about the fluffy people and more concerned with what the Lich was up to. "Do we know this for certain," she demanded? Tapping a button on her phone, the bee woman caused the holoprojector to flare to life, saying, "Pic was able to get video..." Betty shot to her feet in fear. There was something about that island and its location...

"A fool's errand," Muscle Princess announced! "Even Ice King couldn't freeze the ocean!" Many of the princesses felt the same, but Betty had a sinking feeling born out of education and the eco-movement before the war. Their undieing madman was doing something _very_ dangerous. One look at Bonnie was enough to confirm her fears. She saw what the Lich was doing, and she was afraid. Stepping forward, a worried Princess Bubblegum thanked her colleague.

Stopping before the podium, the Candy Monarch murmured, "he's attacking the great ocean current. If he builds up enough ice at his current location, he will make the current slow down. He will almost certainly rob it of precious heat energy and raise the chance of the planet suffering an ice-age..." That news had everyone in the room wide awake and very concerned. An ice age would starve millions and destroy Ooo's already depleted population! A wide-eyed and no-longer smug Muscle Princess stared in goggle-eyed horror at the candy person.

Nadia the Grid-Face Princess opined, "he would indeed cause a massive disruption, but Ooo has _two_ oceans, Bonnibel. And even did he disrupt both, he would only succeed in forcing the population of Ooo to concentrate at the equator. I think we should not be alarmed just yet... His scheme has a serious flaw if he truly intends to slaughter Ooo's population..." The gathered Princesses often looked to their four most learned individuals to decide which way to jump. Today, Truth Field Princess was absent, and Betty, as Grand Master was far outside her depth.

She was no climate scientist. Even with _billions_ in currency spent across dozens of nations, the humans of her time hadn't definitively answered the question. Betty had been an ernest believer back then. Inside she thought she still was. But this wasn't bashing Big Oil or a coal company. This was the lives of Ooo/Earth's very-depleted population. If they got it wrong, that fiendish madman would murder tens of thousands at the least. She couldn't decide. With over a dozen heads of state before her, she couldn't decide on a course of action.

"He's got a plan," announced Finn the Human as he came striding through the door. Every face there watched the big man with laser-focus as he came down the aisle with Mafia Princess in tow. Both came with armloads of books. Bonnie watched as her boyfriend approached. Stopping before the podium, Finn held up one of those books, letting Betty get a good look at the title. Global Climate Change and War – US Army War College.

Crisply–as if he hadn't lost the great love of his life–the Hero of Ooo said, "when all the crops are gone and the animals are dead, we'll all be schemin' on each other. Candy-People against Berry-People against Bee-People against Froyo-People. Fight to the death and he kills the winners." Betty scrubbed at her face in agony. He was right! When their subjects were starving in the streets, these people would all be slaughtering each other! _Don't leave yourself out, Elizabeth Grof,_ she thought. _You're one of_ these people _now too._

Finn turned to Bonnie and said, "need a private meeting, Peebles. You, me, Betty, Nadia, Cherry, and Phoebes..." Turning to the others, Finn said, "going to ask you all to scoot for home. Start rationing food and heating fuel. Shit's gonna' get real, and we need to be ahead of it. Get people concentrated where they can be fed and sheltered." As an astonished Betty looked on, the others all got up to do just as he'd said. Still, for want of a plan of her own, Betty rose to go into the private chamber behind the podium.

Finn was unsurprised to see that there were a few more faces there than he requested. Billy, Star, and Fionna came along, with Billy bringing Ragnhild. He was pleasantly surprised to see Marceline, though he was a little irritated at her for disappearing like that. Still, _Cherry_ was the biggest source of tension in the room. Phoebe spoke for herself and Finn's kids when she growled, "what the fuck is _she_ here for?!" Brazenly, Cherry strode straight up to the elemental woman and said, "because he needs my help."

Before Phoebe could get violent, Bonnie signaled her to wait. Fionna rushed forward, shouting, "you killed my mother!" Shaking her head, Cherry replied, "I tried to stop this from happening. I sent my best agents to intercept that package, but it was guarded by the Dipped." Heart in her eyes, Star darted forward. Cherry told her, "he's fine, honey. He's ok. He got away. He's working right now, or he would have called you..." Fionna didn't follow any of that. Her eyes were full of hate, and it was clear that she would have torn the little candy-person to pieces. Bonnie spoke for all present when she told their visitor, "talk."

"The problem," said Cherry, "started when Penelope Sweet, the King of Thief City, nearly met her end at the hands of the King of the Fire Kingdom..." At Phoebe's gasp of fear and surprise, Cherry said, "she survived the fall, Your Highness. Instead of being slaughtered out of hand by the gangster-prince of Oceanside, she turned the tables on him. Then she used his position to start work on her revenge. Rival gangs that Penny was able to coopt helped move the Lich's minions so they could steal his prison, steal the Ice Crown, and launch the attack on Wizard City, and I suspect she's helping him right now in enacting his scheme." Nadia and Ragnhild both went very pale at those words. Betty howled, "but why?! That doesn't make any sense! If he succeeds, they die too!" "But they don't know that, Mrs. Petrikov," replied Cherry. "Only _she_ knows who the client is and what the client's ultimate goal would be. They think they're holding the planet hostage." "And Penny's angle," asked Billy? "Between us, we cost Penny a son," Cherry replied. Pointing at Bonnie, the diminutive crime-boss asked, "why should _her_ son be alive? Why should mine, when Penny's son is dead?"

She said it so calmly. She was so calm in the face of a deed so monstrous and a motivation so mad that Betty was having trouble wrapping her mind around it. Fionna had no such trouble. With a wail of agony, the pretty blonde grabbed her hair and began to pace. She'd done this! She'd killed Penny's kid! She'd killed him and even joked about it! _She_ was the reason both her moms were dead! Finn went to his daughter and grabbed her by the shoulders. Pulling her hands away from where her diamond-hard nails were scoring her scalp, Finn said, "you were right the first time, Fi. You didn't do this. She and her piece-of-shit son did. He put himself in that spot. She put evil on our family because she's just as evil and twisted as he was. Some day I'm going to make her hurt for this. For right now, we have a job to do, and I need you here with me." Fionna looked up at him with a bleak expression, her eyes brimming with tears. Dashing those tears away, the bunny-girl nodded and said, "ok, dad. W-what're we doing?"

Turning back to his friends and allies, Finn said, "the first thing we have to do is slow him down. Bonnie? You said that the wall of ice he's creating is slowing down the ocean, right?" "Yes, Finn," replied the Princess. She knew better than to correct him. He was right in the essentials, so that was really what mattered. "How much time do we have before he has enough ice to block the ocean entirely," asked Finn? "Weeks," replied Bonnie. "Even the Ice Crown has limits. The ocean's warmth will slow down the rate of growth even in winter." "Right," said Finn. "I have a couple ideas to slow him down even further." Striding back to the gathering, Finn grabbed a sheet of paper from the table and began to sketch. "Nadia," said he. "I need something from your people. I need one of those forcefield dinguses, but I need it big enough to surround the entire island he's already built. I need you to make it strong enough to hold the pressure of the ice for a few months. PB? Can you build something to amp up the sun's rays? Something to keep melting his ice?" "Yes, Finn," said Bonnie. "This is a good plan, but it's only going to delay him."

Finn nodded. "I know, Peebles," he replied. "That's all I want to do for now. While he's tied up fighting the sun, Betty and I are going to hunt down the place where he got his start. There's got to be something there we can use against him." Betty frowned at the younger man. Looking up at Simon's widow, Finn said, "with Simone and Simon both gone, you're the only person who's maybe old enough to have some idea where we can find his birthplace, Bets." Betty gulped. There it was again. This had all seemed a lot simpler when she was going to sit on a throne and give orders to a bunch of flunkies. Now she could be deciding the fate of life on Earth.

"We can do this," said Bonnie. "We can hold the line." Turning to her colleagues, the bubblegum princess said, "we'll need to pool our resources." Froyo said, "my people can handle the cold better, and you're going to need guards for this. With your permission, I will bring my personal guard across the wasteland." Nadia said, "I can transport them. We're going to need to move quickly, Bonnibel. I can have the forcefield machinery ready in a week." "Done," said Bonnie. "Agreed," said Ragnhild. "William?" With a sheepish smile, Billy told his lover, "I'll catch up, babe. Family conference. Got to stick around." Ragnhild reached out and stroked his face–just the lightest of touches. She'd told him that was what she 'allowed' herself when they were in public like this. With that, the princesses swept out, leaving Finn there with his kids.

"Dad," said Billy. "What're we...?" Finn held up his hand, motioning for his son to wait while he thought about what he was going to say. After a long pause, he told them, "I'm sorry, guys. When we started down this road... I wanted this for your moms. I wanted them to be happy because they... They'd been in that house _eighteen years_ taking care of the four of us. I never dreamed things would spiral out of control like this. I... made some mistakes, and I hurt them both. They hurt me, but I didn't have the right to hurt them back. Stuff just fell apart on us..."

"Daddy," sniffed Fionna, "w-what're we gonna' do?" She didn't want to talk about affairs or cheating. She was feeling the pain of having somehow started this. She hadn't even intended to kill that asshole, but here they were, watching the world be torn apart because of it. "We're gonna' fight, Fi," said Finn. "I'm... This isn't the kind of fight that we're used to, but we're gonna' do what we do. Star? You're on the spy-biz. Your momma isn't on that island. I have a sneaky suspicion the other half of the Lich is out there somewhere tryin'a keep us from melting his ice-island." "You want me to find out if he's got an army or something," burbled Star. "Yeah, babe," said Finn. "You're... You're good with that stuff." She was a natural at it.

Turning to his son, he said, "Bill... While I'm gone, your job is to keep the princesses in line." Billy frowned at him. "They're goofy, Bill," Finn opined. "They do dumb shit so often, they don't even realize they're doing it, and Wildberry's the worst. Don't let them meet. If you have no choice, don't let them talk. If that fails, don't let them debate. It'll just raise hell when we don't need it." "Ok, dad," said Billy. Turning at last to Fionna, Finn said, "you're my face in the field, sweetheart. You and Patrick are to go to the island. Keep the Lich under lock and key. Make sure nobody and nothing gets to Nadia's forcefield machine or Bonnie's sunray." "Ok, daddy," she burbled. The gathering broke up then. Finn took his pile of books and went looking for Betty. They had some reading to do.


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38:

"You'll never get away with this," declared the Lich's annoying internal voice. "Won't I," he retorted? "The two people with the knowledge to stop me are either dead or in my power, Simone Petrikova. The man with the will is now an emotionally compromised wreck. He's impotent. I've already won. It's all over but the screaming, and, mmm, do I _love_ screams." Now deciding to ignore her, he once again turned to the Ice Tiara and the task at hand. He had to freeze the ocean to a distance of several hundred miles from shore and all the way to the bottom. Then he needed to move east to the Pacific and do the same thing.

Hundreds of miles away in the Grey Forest, the Matriarch stood at the window of her home, staring into the darkness. Things had never been more dire. She'd received word of the disaster in Wizard City. Now she found herself looking over her shoulder. Marjolaine was in league with the Lich. Her Lawkeeper was dead–slain by the Lich. The whole world seemed as though it would descend into the Night-O-Sphere.

She had no idea what to do.

If a powerful wizard could be so easily defeated, what was she going to do? She'd ordered the Lawkeepers to high alert, but they had no walls or defenses to man. Their town was completely open! "Mother," murmured her aide. "Come and sit." With a half-hearted and worried chuckle, the plump woman opined, "it's... Why, it's like you fear the dark!" "She does," retorted Marjolaine Baudin. The aide spun about to find the rogue wood nymph standing there. Flanking her were two columns of oozing darkness. The plump woman darted back from her. Not that the newcomer was at all interested in her.

Striding forward, eyes fixed on the Matriarch, the evil woman said, "it's time you retired, old woman. Things will be different now..." The matriarch spat in her face. Wiping her face, the evil woman growled, "the wasting curse... Let her _suffer_." As the terrified aide stared in horror, one of those creatures grabbed the Matriarch by her hand. Slowly, as the aide watched, the older woman began to age. Rapidly. One moment, she was a vigorous if past-her-prime matron. The next, she was a worn and stooped crone. Shortly after, she was a desiccated husk. "Her mind's still alive," chuckled Marjolaine. She might have been discussing the weather. Slowly the light faded from the former Matriarch's eyes as her body blackened into a mummified corpse. The evil woman turned to the woman who stood in the corner, knees knocking and face gone pale. "Go and wash the piss off yourself and summon my cabinet," snarled Marjolaine Baudin. "A-at once, Mother," stammered the plump woman before she ran from the room.

Back in the Candy Kingdom, Bonnibel Bubblegum came slipping through a secret passage of her castle in the dark with only a small flashlight to guide her. She came dressed in one of her sexiest outfits, and she was on a mission. It was a little selfish. She was woman enough to admit that. At the same time, well, Simone was gone. There wasn't anybody in the way, was there? More to the point, Finn was the great love of _her_ life too, and she wanted to let him know that she was still there for him.

At her destination, a tall, pale figure came stalking up the hallway, having waited until the sounds of Bonnie's palace ebbed to nothing. Marceline Abadeer was in kind of a state. Simon was gone. The Lich had killed him and left Finn literally holding the bag. The demon-woman had wanted to find out from Finn if Simon had left her any message, but the day had been hectic and crazy, with the various princesses trying to drag her into whatever little scheme they wanted to enact. She'd put them off. She'd put them off because she was proscribed from meddling. She could hint. She could suggest. If she took that too far, she risked being barred from Ooo the way her father had been. She'd never see Finn, Bonnie, or Marshall again. _All the power in the world,_ thought the Arch-Demoness, _no ability to make use of it. This_ sucks _!_ She wanted Finn. She needed advice. She needed to know what to do now.

Unfortunately the world seemed to be speeding down the track towards Judgment Day, and everyone was frantically trying to get off the train. There hadn't been a moment that Finn wasn't rushing around doing what Finn did. He was too busy to see her. That was what came as the kick in the teeth. She'd spent his youth jerking his chain, leading him on, and fucking with his mind until he didn't know _what_ to think about their relationship. Now it looked a lot like she'd squandered their time together. Pacing the room, the Princess of Darkness thought about how she could move them past this. And that was how Bonnie found her when the secret passage opened.

Marceline had come dressed in a black, schoolgirl skirt that came just below her hips under a white blouse that was almost transparent. In its way, the outfit was just as sexy as what the tall princess was wearing as the blouse showed off Marceline's firm, _perky_ boobies. On top of that, she'd painted glossy black lipstick on her luscious lips, and the eye-liner she wore made her red-eyes pop. Staring her best friend in the eye, Marceline rumbled, " _really_ , Bonnie?" The Candy Monarch blushed to her hair. Still she gave as good as she got, pointing out that Marceline had been trying to steal _her_ boyfriend. That was when Finn's door opened, revealing Phoebe, who'd come in a conservative dressing gown.

"Shouldn't you be in bed," demanded Marceline? "I could ask you the same thing," the Flame King retorted. "Besides, I came to comfort him, not _fuck_ him. Do you two have _any_ shame?" And that was how the fight started. The three women got into an ugly, _accusatory_ bitch session with Marceline and Phoebe ganging up on Bonnie for acting like a whore, Bonnie and Marceline ganging up on Phoebe for risking her child, and Flame King and Princess Bubblegum ganging up on Marcy for being irresponsible and inconsiderate.

At the height of the confrontation, the door across the hall opened, revealing an irritated and drowsy Mafia Princess. Cherry had been doing her best to ignore the three dingbats across the hall in the empty room, but when they had the nerve to start shouting, that was the limit. Yawning heavily, Cherry told the trio, "he's in Bonnie's study working with Betty on finding the Lich's origin. You three horny bitches should go back to bed. Besides, don't you think it's a little premature to be at his door, looking for sloppy sex? Can he at least have a chance to mourn before you ask him to choose one of us...?" The chagrined trio tore out of there, finally allowing Cherry to get back to sleep.

Down in the study, Finn the Human had his nose deep in one of Simon's old journals, struggling with Simon's encroaching madness to understand what his old friend was trying to say. It was slow going and had been all night. Betty had already checked out on him. She was sitting at the table with her body laying up on a pile of books and her head on her forearms. Setting aside the journal for a moment, Finn got up, got her a cushion from the couch, and slipped it under her head. Seeing that he was already up, he decided to go get some air.

Betty, meanwhile, was lost in a strange dreamscape of empty, ruined cities. She was walking the surface of a broken Earth. She felt her lungs burn from the heavy, sulfurous air. This was the world she'd skipped over. Simon and Marceline had lived through this. It was hardly any wonder that her husband went mad. She was certain she wouldn't have lasted a day.

"It wasn't fun, princess," said a familiar voice. Betty spun about to find Simon there. He was fading in and out of that weird Ice-King appearance. "You're imagining me as Ice-King," said Simon. Betty mentally blinked, "uh, what?" Simon moved on. "Finn might have the right idea, princess," said Simon, "but his ADHD means he's gonna' need _your_ help executing it." Betty gave him a frown. "Finn's a sharp guy," Simon explained. "He's a lot smarter than he lets on. Give him a chance, princess. We've only got one shot at this, and you're the only way I can help." "Why," demanded Betty? Simon replied, "Death's been chasing me since yesterday. I can't appear directly to anybody..." Betty rolled her eyes. Simon was deliberately obtuse even in her imagination. "I heard that," groused the specter. "Would it kill you to listen just once?"

Startled, Betty just stared. Had that come out of her subconscious? She knew she was sometimes hard on her husband, but had she been that bad? 'Simon' was still speaking. Said he, "I think the Lich may be Russian. Things he said to me suggest maybe Siberia. I know there was a Door-Lord's sanctum there because he showed it to me once. Might be some of his stuff inside." Glancing around him, the former Ice King squeaked, "gotta' go, hon!"

Betty awoke with a start to find herself laying on a cushion with her son staring down at her. Yawning, she asked, "what time is it?" Patrick replied, "eight o'clock..." The older woman sat up abruptly. She'd been here all night. Staring down at the cushion, she asked, "did you?" "No," the young man replied, "I found you that way..." Brushing back her hair, Betty said, "we haven't talked. How you holding up, honey?" Solemnly, Patrick replied, "I'm ok, mom. I-I'm more worried about you..." A voice inside her suggested he really ought to be. Putting on a pleasant smile, Betty told her son, "I'm gonna' get by, kiddo. This... It's a part of life. Sometimes bad stuff happens to people you care about. You went through it with Fionna, right? I'm gonna' miss your dad, but I'll be ok."

Patrick nodded uncertainly. Apparently there was some stuff that was still bothering him. Sitting back in her chair, Betty told him, "out with it... I know that look, Patrick. It's better to spit it out than to have me go looking..." The young man blushed in unpleasant memory at all the times his mother had 'gone looking'. She'd found his stash of naughty pictures that way once. He'd gotten a lecture about respecting women as people instead of objects. "I've asked Fionna to marry me," said Patrick. Betty frowned at him. She wasn't really keen on this situation. In a lot of ways it _felt_ like incest. Simone had always treated Patrick like her little brother. Now Patrick was talking about essentially marrying his niece. On the flip side of that, who else was there? Susan Strong? She was nearing _fifty_! That only left one of Ooo's mutants, and Betty had struggled with being comfortable with that.

Men, as usual, didn't seem to mind. As long as they had a hole to stick their peckers in, they were happy. Finn and his son had gleefully screwed some of everything from that nasty dog-person, Jake Junior, to the head fire-elemental herself. Still, Betty had been trying to get herself comfortable with one of the more human-looking mutants. Somebody from Warrior Kingdom or Engagement Ring Kingdom, where the people were all but human save for some skin-tone issues. "Ok," sighed Betty. She wasn't happy with this, but it was certainly not his worst option. With the decision made, she rose and gave him a hug. "Good luck, honey," she said. "I'm sure you and she will do fine together."

Stepping back, Betty straightened her robes and brushed back her hair. Looking around her, she asked, "any idea where Finn is?" "Bonnie's lab. He's at her computer, digging around." Betty goggled. _He was still going?!_ As Betty pondered that, her son said, "Princess Nadia's taking Fi and I out to the Lich's island tomorrow, mom. I... was kinda' hopin' you would have dinner with us and Finn..." "O-ok," stammered an astonished Betty. As Patrick rose to go, a strange impulse came over her. "Hey, Pat, honey," she murmured? "Yeah, mom," he replied? She wasn't sure why she was asking, but she decided to just lay it out there, "did your father ever have any musician friends come over?" Frowning, Patrick wracked his brain. "Yeah," he said. "Guy named Theo. Least that's what he called himself. I remember him because I thought he was human, but dad said he wasn't... Why?" "Just trying to find names of people your dad knew," Betty lied. "People who'd like to know... about things..." With a nod, Patrick got on his way. Betty found herself staring at his back. Was it true? Death had been in her house?! He'd fucking come to her house!

Now she was angry! She was angry that the bastard had the nerve to invade their home, looking to harass her husband for having the temerity to be living his life. Now, more than anything, she wanted to shut down the Lich permanently just to spite their nemesis. She headed out to find Finn. It was a little crazy to think that she was going to be related by marriage to him. Of course, there was Simone. Her husband had adopted Simone as their daughter, but they weren't genetically related. Now, she would probably be sharing grandchildren with Finn Mertens. Rising herself, Betty headed out to find the man himself.

Just as Patrick had said, he was down in Bonnibel's laboratory, working away as if he hadn't been at it all night. "Hey," he greeted her when she walked in. "Any progress," she asked? With a heavy-hearted sigh, Finn said, "Simon was kind of a mess when he met skeleton-face. I doubt that he could remember his own name." He'd been much too impaired to write down anything useful. "There's a hundred different places that it could be," said Finn. Betty thought long and hard about her dream. She'd dabbled in the occult back in her youth, but honestly it was more for the outrage than anything. She'd honestly never truly believed in it. Did she dare believe _now_?

"Simon spoke to me last night," she murmured. Finn's head snapped up to hers. Blushing to her hair, she said, "he's come to me twice... I... I thought I was crazy... losing it. But he said something... Patrick confirmed it..." "Slow down," said Finn. Rising, he steered the older woman into a seat. When she was seated, he got her a glass of water and waited for her to get that down before continuing. Betty found herself a little surprised to realize she really was thirsty. It was uncanny that he'd been able to figure that out from just looking at her.

"Ok," said Finn. "Tell me..." "I... Simon's ghost is appearing to me," she said. "He... he comes at night. In my dreams. He said it's because Death is pursuing him." Frowning, Finn said, "Death's wanted Simon for a while. He even told Marceline that." Finn began to pace. Scratching at his long, blonde locks, he said, "I think this is real, Betty. Ghosts _are_ real. I used to be friends with one. Her name was Warrior Princess, but she'd lost her memories of who she was." Turning to look at her, he said, "Death sometimes visits people in their sleep. That's how he worked on Penny, so it probably works for Simon too. What did he say?"

Betty thought about that for a long while. She was decent with remembering her dreams. It didn't take her long to come up with the contents of last night's dream. "Th-there's something called a Door Lord," she said. "Simon thought the Lich killed one of them and took his place..." "Did he say where," Finn asked? "Siberia," said Betty. "It's in Siberia... East of Nadia's Kingdom." "Baba-Yaga's Wasteland," muttered Finn. "Not good." At her questioning look, he said, "there's a really nasty old witch–almost as old as Peebles. She rules a lot of the wastelands, and she doesn't really like visitors. She's gone to war with Nadia's people a couple of times." "That's ominous," Betty murmured. "Yeah," said Finn. "A big, steamin' bowl of not good." But they had a lead now.

Sitting down before the computer again, Finn began hunting through Bonnie's endless piles of records. The computer churned on his queries while he fired more questions at Betty. She described the city she'd seen in her dream of Simon, and Finn typed the description into the computer too. After an interminable amount of time grinding away, the machine spat out an answer. Tapping the screen, Finn said, "yeah. This is it. This guy used to terrorize Nadia's Kingdom, takin' stuff and sometimes peeps too. He up and disappeared without warning, and all the attacks stopped..." "Because the Lich killed him," Betty rumbled. She sighed heavily. This was getting too real. This wasn't a story about some grand adventure in the wilderness, and, after her experiences in the cave, she wasn't really excited about tackling an adventure again. But they had no choice.

"Finn," said Betty. "Yeah, man," he replied, as he took notes. With a sigh, Betty announced, "Patrick's proposed to Fionna..." Finn nodded. In his mind, it stood to reason. They'd been living together for over a year. Why not? "Y-you're not...," Betty murmured. "The world's coming apart," Finn replied. "Dude's trying to kill us all. I'm glad they can be happy in spite of all that." It was kind of a slap in the face. He was right. He was _sooo_ right. Betty nodded. "Patrick wants to have dinner tonight," she said. "Just family." "Ok," said Finn. "Pro'lly do it at my place." Nodding, Betty got on her way. She just wasn't comfortable being around him right now.

It was seven o'clock when Betty came walking up the driveway to the treehouse. She was a little surprised to find that the driveway was full, and there were cars even out on the road. There were two limousines and several trucks present, including Fionna's beater. There was even a pair of intimidating Fire Wolves laying lazily on the concrete of the driveway. She'd thought they had agreed that this was just going to be family. What was he doing? As she approached the door, a pair of Banana Guards opened it in front of her. "Uh, the boss is upstairs," said one of them. Wearing a frown on her lovely face, the older woman went up the stairs, her mind whirling. What was going on?

When she stepped out on the landing, she found a multitude of people there. Oh, Fionna and Patrick were present. The young couple had pride of place there on the beat-up old couch that Simone had refused to throw out. Around them were Fionna's brother and sister, Billy and Star–along with a multitude of other people. Princess Ragnhild was present and all but clinging to Billy Mertens. That sort of stood to reason. Betty understood from Simone's words that the two were an item now. Star was there with a massively built man who's blonde hair and green skin told that he hailed from Warrior Kingdom. She hadn't even known the little nymph was dating.

All of that sort of made sense. What startled Betty was finding Boniface Bubblegum there with his mother, sister and wife. Princess Shoko had brought along a towering elemental male, who'd come decked out in asbestos boots, britches, and jacket. Alongside those were Marceline Abadeer and her son, Marshall. And rounding out the massive contingent was Cherry Cream Soda, with her son, Van. Finn was at the stove in the kitchen, working on dinner, and at his side stood the Flame King, Phoebe, resplendent in a deep black gown.

At a loss, Betty stood there gawking at the raucous dinner party she'd sort of dropped in Finn's lap. She couldn't really _help_ thinking about the party she'd interrupted weeks ago. Her husband had explained just how angry and hurt Finn had been when she'd more or less taken over the home-coming party he'd created for Simone and Emeraude, and she'd been _mortified_. She hadn't given any thought to that. Now here she was again, pushing her way into this man's home and his life. _Easy, Betty,_ she told herself. _Patrick and Fionna are getting married. We're going to be in-laws._

"Mom," Patrick greeted her. He and Fionna rose and met her halfway to the stairs. Taking either hand, they led her over to the table Finn had cobbled together in the center of the living-room/dining-room space. She got placed at the far end of the table. The rest of that massive crew of people filled in around the perimeter. Finn came out of the kitchen with Phoebe and began laying out platters of food. He was cleaning out the larder because he was going to be gone for a long time, and there was no point in leaving food here for Beemo to waste.

The would-be bride and groom got up and began serving everyone, leaving Finn to sit down at the head of the table. As the soup and salad got laid out, Betty tried to make small talk. With a sheepish chuckle, she said, "I... Well, I thought it was just going to be family, or I would have dressed better..." Finn, who was wearing his trademark jeans and blue shirt, replied, "this _is_ family. Boniface and Marshall are the sons I didn't know I had. Shoko's my daughter. Since they're mothers of my kids, I invited Bonnie and Marcy to come too." Which would also explain the elemental woman and the gangster. Betty's mouth came open. The bubblegum princess and Vampire Queen flushed to their hair.

Blushing, Bonnie admitted, "I... stole a sample of Finn's genetic material. I... wanted children..." With a glance at Marceline, she admitted, "we both did." Froyo Princess gawped at the pair of them. She could hardly believe that was true. Betty was staring at the man of this strange little house, hardly able to believe he could be so calm about that. These two had _used_ him as a sperm-donor without his permission! Ignoring her staring, Finn said, "I'd hoped for Simone and E to be here to have this moment with us. Honestly, it's... it's not how I would want to see Pat and Fi starting out together with us facing the end of everything. At the same time, I can think of few things more fitting as a response to what he plans for us than pledging ourselves to life and love."

Sitting across from each other, Pat and Fi giggled. Maybe it was the moment, or maybe it was the time they'd spent together, but both just laughed. Blushing, Fionna said, "thanks, daddy." Smiling back, Finn said, "no, sweetie. Thank _you_." The group of them dug in, then, working their way through the simple fare that Finn had cooked up for them. When the soup and salad were gone, Fi and Pat went and got the main courses, laying out chicken and steak. Nibbling at coal, Phoebe did her best to carry the conversation down at Finn's end of the table, even if nobody was really excited to talk right now. As supper wound down, the various _guests_ rose and headed out–going downstairs to the entry to enjoy the cool evening air and leaving Finn and Betty–and those women–alone in the kitchen.

Finn put the pans in to soak, then motioned for the pack of them to follow him into his office. Once there, he put the princesses on the couch, while he brought in a couple of chairs from the kitchen. Once all were seated, Bonnie opened the conversation. "Finn's told me about what you found," she said. "I'm a little concerned about having the two of you go into Baba Yaga's domain without backup." Standing at the window, Finn said, "been thinkin' about it, Peebles. I think you're looking at it wrong." "How so, Finn," she asked? "It would take an army to fight Baba Yaga, PB," Finn replied. "We don't have two armies, and even if we did, I'd rather keep the second in reserve just in case..." He still feared the Lich's _other half_.

Finn said, "we don't want to attract attention, Peebles. We want to get in and get out. Soldiers would just attract her attention." Taking a deep breath and staring down at her hands, the bubblegum woman said, "alright, Finn. We do this your way." "Thanks, Peebles," Finn said. Turning to face them at last, the big man said, "I guess that's that. Betty? You can crash here if you like, otherwise I'll see you at the airfield tomorrow morning. Ragnhild, I think that's all. I'd like to talk to Bonnie, Marceline, Phoebes, and Cherry alone."

Betty blushed. The mothers of his children. Five of his eight children. Part of her was intensely curious about what he had to say to them. At the same time, this was their business and their kids, and she would have cut the tits off of any bitch who thought she would stick her nose in Betty's dealings with Patrick. Rising, she headed out, gathering on her coat and heading downstairs for good measure. She found her son sitting on the bed of Fionna's truck with his fiancé, staring up at the moon. Star was sitting on the grass with the massive mountain of a man who'd shown up with her, and, oddly enough, the other bubblegum-princess was sitting in the lap of the fire-elemental. It was a shocking sight until Betty remembered the fire-shield spell Simon once taught her.

Boniface was standing off to the right of the door, having a hushed conversation with his older and younger brothers, while French Toast looked on, looking a little lost, as she cradled her little boy. That was a girl who had been left completely unprepared for life. Part of Betty would have taken her in hand as she'd tried to take Simone, but just the thought of how Simone had met her end sent the older woman almost running down the driveway to her car. She needed to be out of here. She needed some air and time to think.

Upstairs, Finn stood before four of the women in his life. "I've been a long time about this," he said, "but it's time I come perfectly clean. Guys... I'm not... I'm not ever going to be able to choose between you. I love all of you. I... It's just how I am. Right now, I'm kind of a mess inside, and I think you'd all be better off if maybe you moved on." There. He had said it.

All four women stared at him for a moment, and the big man almost flinched away from them. Glancing away, he said, "this isn't going to end well for me. The Lich has taken this up two or three notches..." "All the more reason for you not to be alone, Finn," said Phoebe. Rolling her eyes, Cherry said, "why do men always want to carry everything by themselves?" Marceline just laughed at him and said, "see you when you get back, weenie." One by one, the four of them presented him with toe-curling kisses before strolling out the door. Cherry was the last. Standing at the door of his office, she said, "when you want to talk, Finn... I'm here. I've... been through this... I know what you're feeling." Finn flushed to his hair. He shouldn't have forgotten. Before he could say a word, she said, "carry my love with you always, honey. I'll be waiting on you."


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39:

The airship was a lot smaller than the one Nadia had carried his team on in their quest to smash his father's dudes. It was still big enough to carry his truck, but maybe not much more. Certainly it was unlikely to have multiple decks and individual quarters. Stepping out of the car that had brought him, Finn reflected on his past–riding with E into mortal combat with alien dudes. Those were some of the best times in his life. He'd been madly in love with Emeraude and just as in love with Simone. Somehow he'd managed to dodge all the temptation, and he'd ended up with a marvelous family. Now, temptation seemed to have gotten the better of him. He'd sinned and sinned again.

His mistakes had cost him the love of the two biggest chunks of his life. Yet somehow he was still loved. Somehow his peeps still cared about him. Even Fionna had forgiven him. He was resolved now to be a better dude. For the madwomen who somehow still loved him. For the children he had and the one not yet born. He was going to do better. He still wasn't sure how all of this was going to work, but nobody wanted out. Lollipop had come by and made him breakfast, and Sarah had come to drive him into town, making it clear that they still wanted to be a part of this insane life.

Finn turned to the android woman and gave her a ginger hug. She was still a mess, with swatches of artificial candy-flesh being grafted on, and really should have been in Bonnie's lab resting. Her pain circuits were malfunctioning, and even the lightest touches came close to making her scream. "Get home," he admonished her. "I had to see you off," she reminded him. With a sly wink, the sex-machine said, "be careful of horny bitches. You're meat on the hoof, babe." Blushing to his hair, Finn shouldered his bag and headed across the field to where a crew of grid-face people swarmed over the airship. Halfway there, Nadia intercepted him. _Speaking of which,_ the big man thought.

Nadia had never ceased trying in all the years he'd known her. She wasn't cunty about it like Breakfast, but she made it clear Finn was still on her hit list. She'd dated. Off and on. Each time, Finn hoped the dude would stick. He cared. He wanted her to be happy. With another dude. She always came back to him, and nothing he did, short of saying, "fuck off", mattered. Likely today would be no different.

"Hey, Nadia," he greeted the tall princess. It said something about where her mind was that she'd come in a skin-tight jumpsuit today that hugged her so closely he could read her lips. It looked uncomfortable and reminded him of the hot-pants E showed up for work in the day the aliens came. All they needed was a good attack from the Lich's dudes to show why that was a bad idea. "Good morning, my champion," Nadia replied. It was a good start. She wasn't immediately flirtatious. "How are things going with the forcefield biz," Finn asked? "Well enough," she replied as she teased his arm with one a fingertip. _Yeah,_ he thought. _This is going to be a problem._ With Simone and E gone, she likely saw her way clear at last.

Stopping there in the middle of the field, Finn turned to her and said, "Nadia, I can't go there with you. Not now." Brows narrowing, she said, "but you can with Bonnibel? Or Marceline? Or the King of Fire?" Finn's jaw came open, as she told him of the awful fight the trio had had in his quarters–a fight Cherry had interrupted. "I should have known you were lieing to me," she snapped! The water turned on just like that, and she stormed off across the field. _Great,_ thought Finn. _Thanks, guys._ He'd expected Bonnie or Marcy to blow things up one day. Neither of them was very good at keeping a secret like that. He just hadn't anticipated the person they were going to hurt. Shaking his head and muttering curses, Finn turned and kept going.

Arriving at the airship, he found an unmarked Banana-Guard truck tucked into the back along with a pair of small motorcycles and some camping gear. And Betty. The older woman was pacing nervously in the open space inside, muttering to herself. Finn walked up the ramp, tossed his gear in the back of the truck, and opened with, "I thought you and Simon used to fly all the time?" The way Simon had told it, he preferred the train. Flying had been frequently cramped and uncomfortable. Neither of the pair had piles of money back then, so they flew 'coach' whatever that was. "Not the flight that worries me," she admitted. Her face looked a little haunted. "Bad dreams," he guessed? Betty flushed, telling him he'd scored there. At the same time, she didn't want to talk about it.

Finn motioned for her to come along as he went up to the control room. There they found their pilots, Piotr and Vasilly. Piotr turned to him and said, "we'll be ready to move in fifteen minutes. I was told you're familiar with the seats. I suggest you buckle in. It will be noisy, so you should sit together if you want to talk." Unlike Nadia, he was all business. Finn vaguely remembered that the grid-face people were all linked by some kind of radio-gadget. They could _think_ at each other, which made for some creepy dinner-parties when he, Simone, and E had visited with the kids. Had Nadia told her pilot about their little confrontation? The thought made Finn a little afraid. She was a princess. She could smash him for hurting her. They needed her, and, in spite of his promise to be a better dude, he found himself thinking that he maybe should have at least led her on into thinking that he would give her what she wanted so she would be happy in helping them.

As he walked back to the seats in the back, he found himself wondering how things had gotten this way for him. Looking back, he tried to figure out how he could have ducked Nadia without insulting her way back when, but he didn't really see a way through that wouldn't have had the grid-face people up in arms. As he sat down, he couldn't help thinking that things would be a lot easier if he were _King_ of Ooo instead of a loser jumping to the whims of the various princesses. He could have sent Nadia to her room for a timeout!

Not long after their special passenger has aboard, the grid-face people got the machine underway. Sitting on top of the ruins of the observatory, Marceline Abadeer watched it go. She'd wanted to speak to Finn–to see how he was doing–but there had been no time for that. She'd barely gotten ten minutes–shared with three others. _Face it,_ she thought. _You fucked up. He would have been happy with whatever time he got from you. You pushed him away. For Ash and Bonnie and a half-hundred one-night-stands. You're as big a joke as your dad, Marceline._

"So are you and him a thing now," rumbled Marshall Lee. "'Cause I gotta' say, that's kinda' weird..." She'd felt him come up. "It's complicated," replied the Princess of Darkness. Adjusting his broad-brimmed hat to keep the sun off his face, Marshall sat down beside her. "Ok," he said, "what gives?" At her quirked eyebrow, he pointed out, "the sun's not burning you. I need to know why..." She'd disappeared for _weeks_. Her voicemail overflowed. He'd come by the house to check on her repeatedly. "I tried to save you," Marceline sighed. "You _what_ ," he asked?

Taking a deep breath, Marceline Abadeer began the story. She told him of her mother's sorrow and fear. She told of how she'd searched for a cure or a way to reverse the curse–to no avail. That led into her conversation with Finn and Bonnie, though she carefully omitted her encounter with Finn. It was silly. She'd never hidden _anything_ from him–reasoning that she was raising him without hangups. He knew she was bi. He'd seen girls and boys both in her bed when he was young. Now she sort of thought maybe it hadn't been a good thing for a five year old to see her eating the box or some strange dude hitting her from behind.

"I did it," she sighed. "Just like always, I did just what everybody told me not to do. I confronted him." Turning to her boy, she said, "he held me prisoner for _weeks_ , Marshall. He made me drink blood... He tried to force me to do his bidding..." Marshall shot to his feet, murder in his eyes. "Sit down," she growled! It came out in a deep, menacing tone–like an echo from the abyss. Marshall turned deathly pale. He recognized that voice and always would after his grandad tried to scare the shit out of him at six. "I accepted your grandfather's offer," sighed Marceline. "I had no choice..." "So you're leaving," he rumbled. "Not for two-hundred years," she said with a smirk as she rubbed the back of his leg. Grimly, Marshall nodded.

More seriously, she said, "as of this moment, I'm not the Lord of all Vampires, Marshall. You are. Death will be bugging you to send him souls." This was going south fast, and all he could really do was nod at each grim pronouncement. Marceline had more for him. "Your dad needs you, Marshall," she said. "As much as he ever needed me." "You have all grandad's power," Marshall howled! Tucking her knees up against her chest–the dress looked nice on her–she said, "I'm also proscribed from interfering. I... can't help, Finn. I can't do anything to save the people I care most about, Marshall. I can only act for someone who's given me their soul. If someone brings the Lich before me, I can take him to the Night-O-Sphere, but I can't hunt him myself. That means _you_ have to be my hands."

That would have been heavy, _heavy_ news _before_ his change. Now, it left him shaken. "Mom," he said plaintively. She knew exactly what he was going to say. He was her wounded little boy. He'd never had the chance to grow up and grow into being a man because he'd had no dad there for him when he needed one. Another of her mistakes. If he acted like a spoiled child, it was because she'd denied him that essential piece of his upbringing. Now, with them out of time, she had to play 'dad' once more. "We're gonna' survive, Marshy," she said. "You're good stock. Your dad's a real badass." Sitting down again, he took his mother's hand and said, "my mom's really special too." Marceline lay her head on his shoulder and said, "I will visit every chance I get." "Me too," he replied.

Meanwhile, the airship carrying Finn the Human went winging its way across the sky, heading east. As the plane soared across the sky, Betty stared down at what had once been Europe, remembering her days as an exchange student and activist. The world had been brighter, and she'd been full of fire then. Later, she'd lost a lot of that fire. The struggle to stay employed in a shrinking economy and her hunger to start a family had quenched some of that fire. And honestly, she'd had a grand time living the Continental lifestyle. When she'd taken the leap into the future to rescue Simon, in her mind she was just going on with that life. She'd expected a utopia where all her activism had born fruit. She never imagined a world where the bastards had blown everything up!

The land passing by beneath them showed the scars of that savage conflict. They flew over scorched desert and glittering lakes that had been bomb craters. The plane passed scattered villages that existed in the shadows of once-great cities. All of it served to remind her of the world she'd lost, leaving her psyche even more battered than before. Characteristically, Finn simply stretched out and went to sleep as if none of it mattered. A voice inside her said, _he was alone before, Betty. He never knew your world. Why would he mourn it?_ No answer came, and Betty herself fell asleep.

She awoke to find the alien visage of one of the grid-face people staring down at her. Glancing around her, she found the truck and the motorcycles were gone, and there was no sign of Finn. The rear doors were sealed up, and she felt a moment's panic. "Captain is waiting outside," said the cyborg. Rising, Betty took only a moment to stretch the kinks out of her back and legs before following the strange man to a man-size door at the rear of the plane. Walking down the stairs there onto the rough, rolling ground, she found herself staring at the rising sun. They'd been flying all night! Finn was there, standing beside the truck and talking to the other pilot.

Thanking the man who'd awakened her, the former activist shouldered her bag and walked across to her escort. _All alone with him,_ she thought. This was going to be interesting. As she approached, the second pilot turned and got on his way. Nodding at her in greeting, he jogged back across to the plane and joined his fellow inside. As a startled Betty watched, the two swiftly hauled up the ladder and got that door shut–literally hauling up the gangplank and stranding them here. "Th-they...," she stammered! "They'll be back in seven days," said Finn. "Whether we're here or not. Let's go." Just like that.

The big man climbed into the truck and shut the door. The plane was already taxiing. With a sigh, Betty went around the front of the truck, finding one of the motorbikes lashed on there. Climbing into the passenger seat, she tossed her bag in the back and shut the door. "Lock it," said Finn. She frowned at him. "This is the wilderness," Finn replied. "Baba Yaga messes around with creating dangerous creatures." Betty locked her door.

Silence reigned as the big man steered the truck over and around rough terrain. The journey wasn't a fast or easy one, and Betty found herself wondering why they had landed so far away. Crossing a stream with water leaking in under the doors, the older woman finally had to ask the question. Tucking her long legs up under her on the seat, the wizard asked, "couldn't they have dropped us closer?" Finn, who had never been keen on Betty's company and her whiny attitude, had to struggle not to blow up at her. Coldly, he replied, "Piotr did the best he could. This far from home, he's got just enough fuel to get back. With the truck in back, he had to glide in instead of just dropping down with the engines. He'd never have been able to take off again."

Betty shut her mouth. This was one of the reasons she'd never liked him. He was such a smug SOB with an answer for everything. She often wondered how her daughter put up with him. She kept wanting to claw his eyes out. The bastard. Just like every man there ever was, he just sort of slip-slid through life with no cares. Even Simon, God rest him, had just managed to stumble on the artifact that let him survive the end of the world. Women always had to work at it.

There was a small hitch getting up and out of the stream, and he ended up having to resort to the winch. In the end, after a two-hour trek across the barren Siberian Tundra, Finn drove them out of a dark, scary forest and up to an unlikely stone structure there on the frozen ground. Parking the truck, he got out and went straight to where he'd chucked his gear. As Betty got out, he was hitching on his sword. It appeared this was the end of the line. His hostile eyes told Betty he was moments from shouting. The way her dad did. Rather than fight, she got her own pack on and joined him before the strange monolith.

"What is it," Betty murmured? She couldn't help running her fingers along the rough surface of the ancient stone. With a heavy sigh, Finn said, "it's the entry to a Door Lord's sanctum." He'd seen a lot of these in use by some pretty heavy-duty ne'er-do-wells over the years of his life. Not all of Ooo's rulers were as circumspect as Bonnie. Many Door Lords had gotten their comeuppance at the hands of outraged royalty and worse. Betty turned to her minder and asked, "how do we open it?" Finn sighed heavily. This was the place where things turned ugly. "We tell the truth," he rumbled.

Betty frowned at him. She couldn't have heard that right. She'd been expecting him to say something like 'bash it' or 'use magic' or even 'find a hidden key'. 'Tell the truth' was about as far down the list of things to say as she could have gotten, even with help. Face gone hot, Finn said, "Simon explained it to me, once. Door Lord's like to humiliate their opponents. They like to divide you up so it's easier to beat you. The door will only respond if we tell it exactly how we feel about each other." Betty's mouth came open, and she stared at him in horror.

When she opened her mouth, Finn shut it for her, saying, "no amount of magic or weaponry can open the door. The door itself isn't actually real. It's just a... damn, now I have to try and remember that fucking word Simon used." She laughed at him. "Boy, you're not very bright," she laughed. The door lit up fractionally, and she found herself staring at it. He wasn't lieing. "Yeah, but I don't go around rubbing people's faces in their problems, either," retorted Finn. The door grew fractionally brighter. Betty's face whipped around, and she demanded, "is that what you think of me?"

Finn coolly told her, "you're the biggest asshole I've ever met, Betty. I haven't been able to stand you almost since I met you. You treated Simone like crap every day of her life, and I always hated you for it. All she ever wanted was for you to love her. That's all she wanted. Just a chance. She had nobody but you and Simon, and you shit on her all the time. She fucking went to her grave wanting to please you. The kids and I lost the last year and a half of her life because of you, and even your own son hated what you'd tried to turn her into."

Betty burst into tears. For a long, long while, she stood there bawling her eyes out. Finn wasn't moved in the least. It seemed he really felt all of that, and in spite of his promise to her husband, he wasn't going to let her walk away from any of it. The worst part of it all was that she knew so much of it was true. She'd kept Simone away from her husband out of jealousy and fear. She'd been terrified of that beautiful young woman, and, at the same time, terribly jealous. She would never have admitted any of that. Now the world was going to hell in a handbasket, she was standing on the edge of the abyss, and the only way forward was to come clean and reveal all the evil in her heart.

Choking back a sob, Betty admitted, "i-it's true. I treated my daughter badly. She... loved me. She gave me everything she had in the last year of her life, and I spit on it. I almost cost Simone her son and daughter..." The door began to glow brighter, but it still failed to open. Betty looked up at Finn with a bleak expression, but he was unmoved. This wasn't his doing. He didn't have any shortcuts for her. She had to come clean to get the door to open. Turning back to the door, the proud older woman told it, "I was jealous of my daughter's beauty. I-I was jealous that she seemed to have everything I didn't. She was pretty and blonde and young, even after two kids. She... had a wonderful husband... the sort of man I-I fantasized about..."

Finn's face went red hot, and the door went brighter than it had before. Still, though it appeared they were getting warmer, the door wanted more. Betty was still holding back, and Finn said so. Blushing to her hair, Betty admitted, "I wanted to break them up. Deep inside, I wanted to catch her husband at cheating or something. I wanted her to be as unsatisfied with her marriage as I was in mine. My husband was giving me everything he had in him, and I didn't even appreciate him. I-I wanted prince-charming. A big, big man with a big, fat dick and rippling muscles, there to obey my every whim... I... I wanted my daughter's husband."

Just as Finn had predicted, the minute that shocking statement got made, the door opened. As if he _hadn't_ just heard that exposition, the big man stepped through. Betty was a beat late and stood there staring at the black void beyond those stone doors. Finn reached back and grabbed her by the wrist, dragging her through before the door shut.

The pair found themselves in a darkened hallway. "W-where are we," Betty asked? Switching on one of Bonnie's Everlasting Nuklear Torches, Finn said, "a place between worlds... This place was a mani... a muninfestation of the Door Lord's will..." "You mean manifestation," rumbled the older woman. "Yeah," said Finn. "What you said..." Frowning, Betty asked, "how is it still in existence? I thought you said he was dead..." With a shrug, Finn said, "Simon figures these guys become part of the structure when they croak. They turn into physicaler energy or something..." "Metaphysical," muttered Betty. This was going to be a _long_ trip.

Stepping off, Finn said, "get your whatsis ready. Those Dipped dudes may be in here. Matter of fact..." He took off his coat and handed it to her, saying, "put it on. Zip it up." Frowning, Betty asked, "what can a coat do?" With a shrug, Finn replied, "they can't rot that stuff. It's artificial. Like the stuff Phoebes always wears. It's like armor against them." Betty swiftly donned the jacket. If anybody had asked her what she thought of polyester, she would have said she _hated_ it. Now it was possibly going to save her life.

Silence reigned between them. He apparently hated her guts too much to be bothered talking to her. _She_ was still smarting from the humiliating exposition she'd been forced to make. To a man she hated. _Yeah, I get hot and wet for musclebound he-men,_ she thought. _It's biological. I'm wired that way. Most women are. I made the right choice. Simon was a good man and good provider. Not an overgrown boyscout._ "If you're going to talk to yourself," opined Finn, "maybe be quieter so I don't have to hear you call me names..." She very nearly kicked him.

Instead she refocused on the job. The space around them was far grander than she'd expected. The corridor alone was twenty feet wide and the floor covered in stone. The walls–what she saw of them in the light from the lamp–were done in elaborate reliefs and frescoes. Stopping Finn there in the corridor, she had him shine his lamp on the wall. Under Finn's watchful eye, she carefully examined the _stone_. "Amazing," she burbled. Taking the lamp from his hand, she scratched at the rock and sketched pictures of the artwork in her notebook. "Anything," he asked? At her puzzled look, he added, "are you learning anything from the pictures..."

Betty just stared as he said, "I know peeps can look at ancient dudes' paintings and stuff and learn things about them. I'm handicapped, not stupid..." Flushing Betty realized she'd sort of misjudged him. They'd told the truth. To each other. Could they build from that? "Truce," she offered? "Deal," Finn replied. Scratching at her nose, she asked, "got another lamp?" He went in his pack and dragged out a second. "Don't lose it," he admonished her. Nodding, she said, "I know the rule, Finn. Out here, two is one. One is none. My dad drilled that into me when we went camping..." Nodding, he stepped back to give her space.

As she worked, he asked, "which spells do you know?" Guessing at what he was really asking, she said, "Simon taught me to make ice walls and blast bolts..." "Pretty limited," rumbled Finn. Glaring at him, she snapped, "not all of us are as addicted to killing things as you..." Stepping off, Finn retorted, "no, but it's important to know when somebody's standing behind you doing wiz-biz..." A shocked and embarrassed Betty rushed to catch up. "Ok," she sighed. "I deserved that." He said nothing to that. Instead, he told her, "the way this works is I play meatshield. You stay behind me. You can step out to use your power on whatever we're fighting, but you get behind me..." "But they can rot you to nothing in the blink of an eye," she reminded him. Tapping the peculiar armor on his shoulder, Finn said, "not with this, they can't." They had to touch him. He didn't have the same limitation.

Finn motioned her to silence as they stepped out into the biggest section they'd encountered yet. The light from the two torches was almost _swallowed_ by the vast space they stood in. "Trophy-Hall," said Finn. This was where a Door Lord stored his stuff. Finn had only ever seen two of these sanctuaries before this. Now he stared in awe at a place that beggared both of those. Just as Finn uttered the words, 'stay close,' an inky blob of darkness leaped out of the darkness at Betty.

 **For those of you following along at home, Simone and Emeraude/Huntress are NOT, repeat NOT dead. At least not yet. However, because of what the Lich did in the past with Billy (killing him and mimicking his voice and mannerisms), most people are assuming they are. Hope that helps with the confusion.**


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40:

"Tear down the houses," said Fionna. "They're too close to the trenches. I want the kill-field pushed back a hundred yards..." The pretty blonde had taken to this job with a relish that sometimes surprised Patrick. Fionna, in his eyes, had always been sort of a slacker. She did just enough at Toffee High to get by. She'd hit the ground running here and taken over within a week of their arrival. There were sore feelings about that. Lots of them. Some of those sore feelings had led to sore jaws. The acting captain of the Banana Guard and Froyo Guard was in no mood to argue. Pat strode along in her wake, watching her back as she dealt with the various pieces of the army.

The grim dessert person beside her protested, "b-but these are the Fluffy Peoples' homes..." Coldly, the bad bunny told him, "we _buried_ the Fluffy People... Three weeks ago. I want those houses gone. Pronto." And she kept right on walking. She was focused today. She always was when the shit was hitting the fan. Patrick acted as liaison with the coven of pretty faces in the Fluffy People's former city hall. That helped her stay focused because she didn't have to listen to their flowery words or the incomprehensible utterances of the two eggheads, Bonnie and Nadia. They needed her focused because things had never been more dangerous.

The raiders had struck twice in the last week, slaughtering dozens of people. On the last attack, they'd come close to the machines that were keeping their foe bottled up. Fionna had put up with the sensibilities of the various people here–Desert Princess had been in an especially brittle mood–but she was running out of patience, which stood to reason because they were struggling to sustain this effort. Nadia's forcefield required large quantities of radioactive ore out of Jungle Princess's domain to keep going. The machines themselves were vulnerable here on this island–a fact the Lich was very much aware of. Raiders had already managed to knock out Princess Bubblegum's sunray twice, and only the intervention of the Flame King managed to get it running again the second time.

Fionna had become focused on the protection of those machines to the exclusion of everything else. She devoted every soldier on the island to keeping the raiders at bay, sparing none for anything else. Not the staff that supported them. Not the people who cooked their food. Not the people who took care of the rude camp. Not even the princesses. None of that mattered. All that mattered were the two machines–the Ice Barrier and the Sunray. Those were the only things keeping them in this game while her father searched for a way to end the Lich for good and her sister searched for the secret recruiters who were building the armies that kept attacking them.

There were hard feelings about that. Many of the less warlike folk had suffered heavy casualties. Turtle Prince's people had walked off the job and returned home already, and Patrick knew that Muscle Princess's people weren't far behind them. The green-skinned giantess was in a state of pique right now because Fionna had snubbed her. In public. When the giantess had demanded a duel, Fionna had simply ignored her. When the taller woman tried to force the issue, Fionna had carried things one step further, flattening her with almost _negligent_ ease. Then she'd gotten the board. At the time the Privy Council backed Fionna more or less unanimously, but there were fractures now.

Patrick had heard from his soon-to-be brother-in-law that Wildberry Princess was stirring things up again. She'd relocated the council to her own kingdom, where she had much tighter control over them, and rumor held that she was fielding envoys from some dangerous people, including maybe the people behind the Lich's rebirth. They claimed to want to negotiate. They were willing to bottle him back up. For a price. Bonnie didn't believe that for a minute, and neither did Patrick. You couldn't just _bottle up_ the Lich like he was a spoiled child or a rabid dog. His purpose–his whole reason for being–was to kill every living thing on Ooo. He wouldn't simply go back into his prison. And what sort of precedent would that set anyway? That a bunch of thugs could go around playing with fire like that and blackmailing the entire planet?

But Wildberry had always been Bonnie's rival. Both women had been playing against each other for the allegiance of the crowned heads of Ooo for as long as Wildberry had been alive. She didn't like any situation where Bonnie took the lead. She didn't trust her neighbor. Patrick might have said she had a paranoid fear of the ancient woman's knowledge and skills. Bonnibel Bubblegum was smarter than Nadia Ivanova. She was nearly as old as Simon the Ice King and Marceline the Vampire Queen, and she had a burning ambition that seemed to beggar nearly everyone else's. She was, in Wildberry's mind, too dangerous, and it helped not at all that she was also seemingly immortal.

Princess Nadia was smart enough to be dangerous, but she was going to die. Eventually, she would age and die just like the rest of them. With the Ice Crown gone, that also applied to Simon Petrikov. Both were minor nuisances now, and they would eventually be gone. Wildberry feared that Bonnie would truly be with them forever, and might, just might, seize power over them all. _But who wouldn't fear that,_ thought Patrick? He knew his parents had discussed the subject a time or two when they thought he was in bed. He knew from things they let slip that Bonnie could be a bit of an authoritarian _bitch_ , meddling in things she shouldn't. Unfortunately, they just didn't have the time for this, and Patrick wished the little idiot would quit it.

Stepping up alongside his wife–he thought of her that way now–Patrick said, "I'm'a take your temperature." Fionna flushed. It hadn't been that long ago that she was laid up in bed, dieing. He worried that this was all coming too fast and too soon. "I'm ok," she said. She sounded somewhere between annoyed and embarrassed. Still, she submitted when he stuck the thermometer in her mouth. Drew Princess was annoyed with them. She was a little annoyed with Finn for dropping this on Fionna. She would have kept Fionna back in the Candy Kingdom, working on keeping the princesses in line and sent Billy out here. Problem was, Billy didn't have Fionna's ADHD. This problem suited Fionna far better than negotiating did.

Fionna did her best to wait patiently. This worried at her too, and she had been using the curse a lot lately. Drawing the thermometer back, Patrick checked her temperature. "98.8," he said. "Perfect." The pretty blonde general grabbed him by his ears and planted a big, sloppy, wet kiss on his lips before striding off to dispense some more orders. Patrick watched her go, but today his mind wasn't on that wiggling ass. It was on her father. Or rather it was on where her father was at the moment.

 _This sucks,_ he thought. He'd sworn he wouldn't keep secrets from his girl. That was death on a relationship. Finn had sat him down and told him that if he ever thought of doing it, he might as well just break up with Fionna right there, and Patrick knew he was right. Secrets had come close to destroying their crazy family. Twice now. Did he dare do this to them all a third time? _Royal promise,_ he thought with a sigh. Bonnie had sworn him to secrecy. Right now Fionna was focused on the thing that was keeping the good people of Ooo alive, but that depended on her not knowing that her father was missing. The minute she found out... Shaking himself, Patrick turned to go back to their impromptu headquarters. He had a report to make. Hopefully the princesses would have some news for him.

Up ahead, Bonnibel stood with her colleague, discussing the very topic Patrick was thinking of. Finn had been gone a _month_. He'd missed the pickup, and the only thing they knew for certain was that he had gone into the Door Lord's sanctum. They had nothing else to go on. The truck had been found intact but frozen. Tracks in the semi-frozen muck led straight up to the massive monolith. But they had nothing else to go on. Nadia feared they'd run afoul of Baba Yaga or one of her creatures. That would have guaranteed them an ugly, _gruesome_ death. She prayed it was the witch's minions because the witch herself would gleefully take the encroachment as a provocation to start her own war, and they couldn't afford a battle on two fronts right now.

"Done," said the orange-skinned beauty, as she shoved the panel closed. They now had three of the five forcefield generators running again. It was a constant battle to keep them going for her staff, and the pretty princess had been spending her nights on the job too, rushing back and forth to the various sites to keep the machinery going. It helped not at all that the Lich's allies were doing all they could to sabotage the works. She'd had to build up protective forcefields around the bases of all the forcefield generators.

A soft whistling and a rush of air announced they had a visitor. Marceline Abadeer, Princess of Darkness, stepped through a portal from the great beyond, sealing it and her demonic minions behind her. That always gave Nadia the willies, and she shivered involuntarily. The former Queen of Vampires looked little different than before–other than a strange proclivity towards dressing to her station instead of like a petulant teenager. At the same time, there was always something... _sinister_ in her eyes. It was very much like the forces of hell hid behind her eyes, waiting for an opportunity.

Bonnie, who was seated at a terminal wearing a heavy parka glanced up and found herself sizing up her once-and-former girlfriend. Dressed in something nice, Marceline had a strange new appeal to the Candy Monarch, though the princess's hunger for her boyfriend went undiminished. Strangely enough, she would gleefully have kept _both_. It was no crazier than sharing Finn with four others, including a mortal enemy. "He's not in Death's Kingdom," sighed Marceline. "Are you sure," Bonnie asked? "I thought you couldn't go there..." Marceline flushed. Theo was still pissed off about losing his dog. He wasn't interested in even a state visit. "I sent Brie," she sighed. "She snuck in and poked around. Nobody there had seen him. Unless he's got more than one of those pits, it's pretty safe to assume Finn's not there. Something else is at work."

Nadia opined, "the tracks don't come out of Pel's Sanctum, Bonnibel. I still think that's significant." Nadia had been militating for the two of them to go out to the Door Lord's sanctum and use their skills to force the door open. Bonnie had been rather hesitant to agree. Right now they were holding their own, keeping the Lich from expanding his ice-sheet. With Phoebe's help, they'd even driven him back a couple of times now. If they left and the machinery became damaged, then what? "Speaking of which," murmured Marceline. "Have you told flame-butt?" Bonnie shushed her. They hadn't dared. Phoebe was lost in her own world, daydreaming of names to try out on Finn. Her baby was doing well, as much because she was exerting herself each night as because of her containment suit and meds.

Every night at sunset, the Flame King climbed into the damaged sunray machine and strapped herself in. She poured the chaotic energy that coursed through her body into the machine, powering it all night long in an orgy of destructive energy that blasted chunks of ice and snow off the Lich's artificial ice-sheet. Each morning at sunrise, the exhausted Flame King sought her bed, having just a bite of breakfast before going to sleep. It was a cycle that kept her mind occupied, her seething emotions in check, and her half-breed child alive. Bonnie had been terrified of upsetting that tenuous state of equilibrium both for their efforts at containing the Lich and for Phoebe's baby.

"You better come up with a plan, Bonnie," muttered Marceline. "What are _you_ doing," demanded Nadia?! "We're stuck here! We can't do anything! What're _you_ doing?!" Marceline frowned at her. Bonnie knew she had to head off the damage before things got too far. Her counterpart wanted very badly to add herself as a sixth girl to the string of 'horny bitches' as Cherry put it that chased after the Hero of Ooo. "She's proscribed, Nadia," interrupted the bubblegum princess. Marceline flushed and glanced away, and Bonnie knew what she was thinking. She had the power to shatter mountains and smash cities with a single thought. She _knew_ she had the power. She could _feel_ it coursing through her veins every moment. She was endlessly _alive_ with the power, and yet she was utterly helpless. Now she understood what drove her dad to want to torment the useless damned-souls of his domain.

Softly she said, "I have to go back to work." Theo had a whole pile of wicked souls to send her. She halfway thought he was doing this on purpose to keep her away from the Lich. Bonnie could tell she was hurting just as much as everyone else, but there wasn't anything they could do about that now. "Be careful," she said. Marceline nodded. Waving a finger, she conjured another portal and stepped through it, disappearing once more to her new/old home. Nadia was in Bonnie's face the moment the former Queen of Vampires was gone. "I don't trust her," she said. "She has nothing to gain from this," retorted the bubblegum princess. "Sheesh, Nadia. Can we stay focused here? What do you need to be freed up to travel?" The orange-skinned beauty stopped and thought about that for a moment. "We would need at least four generators up and running," she said. "That gives us margin, but I'd prefer all five." Nodding, Bonnie said, "then I'll put Bon on the job of making sure those parts get here. Then we'll try to find out what happened to Finn and Betty." "Alright," muttered Nadia.

Hundreds of miles away, their adversary sat staring out at the sunlight, her green eyes red and swollen from a night of tears. It had been this way every night for more than a year. She went to bed in sorrow and awoke in tears. Last night had been especially difficult. In spite of the fact that she had done-in Finn the Human's wives, her son wanted more. He wanted all of Ooo to suffer. In that, they were united. Penelope Sweet wanted to burn the planet. She wished she knew how to build one of those alien radio-transmitters. She would have called them and brought them here once more to destroy the planet. All and done in one fell swoop. Instead, she had her unreliable ally.

He was bottled up right now and shrilly demanding more and more soldiers. He'd had it all figured out–how he would freeze the world. Right now he couldn't break the barrier erected against him. Penny was running out of patience. She'd paid for apocalypse, and he was falling down on the job. More to the point, her other allies were in great danger of seeing through her lies. If they once suspected what her real goals were, she would be fighting with them instead of sending them to fight the fucking princesses. _I'll end this, sweet boy,_ she promised her son. "Something wrong, boss," asked her henchman?

The little woman turned to face him, her eyes hot and angry. He wasn't supposed to come barging in, and he knew it. At the same time, he had urgent news for her and a warning. "That whore's here," said he. "Come in from the Grey Forest." "Alright," growled Penny. "Finally." She'd given Marjolaine a great deal in exchange for her support in swaying the Matriarch of the Grey Forest into aiding the campaign. She'd foreseen the efforts of the princesses to block the Lich, and she'd known that Finn would be neck deep in things, organizing them. She'd wanted a hole-card–fabulous power to break any possible blockade against her ally. Marjolaine had screwed the pooch on that. The little bitch had gotten greedy in the Grey Forest, deciding to go back to ugly old habits, selling her kin for profit. She'd been found out and kicked out of the forest. Penny had sent her back with an army, but so far she'd failed to provide anything of value.

"Send her in," growled Penny. Her henchman hesitated. "What," demanded the Thief King? Her hand went reflexively for her knife–the bloody dagger that had slain so many. "Boss," he whispered. "There's rumors goin' around..." Penny frowned at him, her eyes holding death within their depths. He got rather quickly to the point. "Folks're sayin' you don't got control of the Lich," he told her. "Some is sayin', maybe you let him out to kill folks without any way to put him back..." She knew just where those rumors would have started. She had spies in her organization. Cherry's spies. She'd been trying to kill that cunt for weeks now. Maybe it was time for a new approach. Cherry had a son of her own.

Smiling, Penny stroked the big man's face with the tip of a rough, work-hardened finger. Grinning her trademark crooked grin, the once-beautiful woman said, "but we know different, don't we? You've seen him obey me..." Nodding, the fallen soldier asked, "but what we doing about the rumors, boss? I mean... They're causin' trouble." "Gather up a team," she told him. "Go to the treehouse. The son of Finn the Human by the Princess of the Underworld is there with his minder." "Brilliant, boss," declared her henchman, as he spun on his heel to go. Penny smiled at his back. Like most men, he thought with his pecker, and it was easy to manipulate him. He would be one of the last to die. She had seen to that. She would let him see what his greed and lust had accomplished–the end of the world–and then she would cut out his heart.

The evil woman moved behind her desk, laying the dagger on the table. She didn't wait long, as a pretty wood nymph soon entered, staring around her as though a bumpkin at the fair. Madolen. Marjolaine had sent her insipid little cunt of a niece. Penny had half a mind to Dip this little cunt as a reminder to her henchman that she wasn't playing games here. "Where are the wizards that whore promised me," demanded Penny? She didn't even wait for Madolen to reach her desk, nor did she pretend to be _discussing_ things. She went right at the little bitch, and her finger toyed with the dagger's blood-stained hilt in unsubtle reminder of the fact that many people came here to see her and never left this place alive.

Madolen had embarked on this business as a sort of grand adventure, thinking that this would be every kind of fun. When her aunt had told her to come out here, she'd been excited. Now, as she looked into the face of an evil more terrifying than anything she'd ever seen in her life, all thought of _fun_ fled her mind. The Thief King wasn't in this for fun. Penny's green eyes blazed as the nymph stared back. Rising, Penny came around the desk, and her voice was low and filled with menace as she said, "I expect two-hundred wizards at the coast, ready to sail, in a week's time."

So saying, she plunged a thin, razor-sharp blade into the nymph's chest, just below her right booby, snapping the handle off as she did so. The young woman tried to scream, but ended up coughing up blood. "It won't kill you, slut," said Penny. "Not for a while. Ah-ah-ah... I don't want to hear it. Go and tell that whore of an aunt of yours that if I don't get my wizards, she'll be Dipped. And remember Madolen, if you should dawdle or delay–if you try to get your freak on–it might just be the death of you..."

As Madolen raced for home, praying the dagger could be removed, Billy was facing down a serious problem of his own. He'd been holding the line for weeks now. His father's words had been prophetic. The politicking had begun the minute Finn the Human boarded the airship bound for the east. It started with Slime Princess and Hotdog Princess. The twin nuisances had suggested combining all the armies of Ooo together and appointing a general over them. Of course, neither princess had an army to speak of, with Hotdog Princess's knights being particularly insipid. It was clear that they expected others to give up their armies to do the heavy lifting of dealing with the Lich.

Lizard Princess had immediately attacked both her colleagues, railing on them for more than two hours before Billy got the whole business back under control. He'd had to let her speak because he lacked the power to simply shut her down, but he couldn't let her shatter the peace either. It was a maddening business that gave the young man a great deal of respect for his father. Finn Mertens managed to not only keep the princesses from being at each other's throats on a regular basis, he actually got them cooperating. Even Bonnie couldn't say that. Honestly, Billy felt like he was failing by degrees.

He was always one step behind. When Lizard Princess was hurling insults at Slime Princess, Emerald Princess was in talks with Laurel Princess, sharing the disturbing news that Billy had been trying to keep from the ears of the princesses almost since the first day. Agents of Penny's were making their way through various little baronies and duchies courting some of the minor nobility. They were selling the lie that the gangsters had the Lich under control. The problem, they said, would all go away. For a price.

Several raiders had struck emerald mines in Emerald Princess's homeland, hoping to retrieve enough wealth to buy off the gangsters and put the Lich back in his cage. Penny's gangsters had simply told them that even the Lady of Emeralds didn't have the wealth needed. They wanted millions of coins each year to keep the Lich bottled up. If they didn't get what they wanted, they would let him free. Those small-time barons had begun to make noises that the princesses should get their act together and stop fighting the gangsters. The world was at stake. Cherry's agents had been working overtime to squelch the story–threatening anybody dumb enough to be spreading it–but her reach wasn't infinite. Now the story had reached Wildberry's ears.

Calmly–it was important to show calm around these sharks–Billy told the little Royal, "I'm not sure what we would schedule a vote on Your Highness..." He was playing the nut-role, and they both knew it. She'd been perfectly clear. On behalf of the Duke of Nuts, she was proposing to negotiate with the gangsters. Wildberry cut him off at the knees, stating, "it is past time to end this charade. Princess Bubblegum was supposed to contain the Lich. She failed. I intend to negotiate a cessation of hostilities. I motion for a vote on forming a delegation..."

Billy frowned. She had him. As one of the more important rulers, she had the right. She could demand a vote and force him out of his position. That would see her or one of her appointees take charge. Of course she didn't want to do that. That would risk the carefully nurtured facade of diplomacy the crowned heads of Ooo had cultivated. That was the thin defense that had let Finn steer these nasty bitches. Billy politely and calmly responded with, "I do not believe you've proven your case, Your Highness. The growth of the Lich's ice island has been arrested..." The Duke spluttered incoherently, but he wasn't allowed to address the meeting.

"Very well," growled Wildberry. "I hereby nominate Edward, Duke of Nuts, to oversee a delegation to review the Lich's containment." Billy grimaced as several more princesses–half of Wildberry's block–seconded the nomination. In short order, a ballot got taken, and Billy found himself with a big problem to report to Bonnie. He _knew_ about the problems with the containment and the raids. They had been papering over the difficulties for a while, and he knew what the Duke would say when he got back.

The young hero wore his misery like a coat when he exited the meeting chamber. That was another unpleasant outcome he'd had to get used to. Wildberry had taken advantage of Bonnie's preoccupation to move the venue. The council was now meeting in the Berry People's capitol, and Wildberry's spies were everywhere. Standing outside in the cool air, Billy felt _drained_. He wanted to see Ragnhild and Anders. Every moment he wasn't with them was a misery. Heading down the stairs, he resolved to head for his hotel, get dinner down, and call his lady.

As he stepped off the stairs, his eyes locked with a plum, who's battered face said, 'gangster' without his lips moving. Having picked out that possible threat, Billy now did his dad's trick, reading the location and pulling out things that were 'off'. _Lot of plums,_ the young hero thought. As he stepped off the sidewalk, a car came hurtling down the street. Billy jumped up onto the hood of his truck as the car sideswiped his ride. They never slowed down. Instead, they tore off up the street. The plums tore out of there, dispersing into the crowd on the street, telling Billy what this was about. Ambush. Someone wanted him out of the way.

Billy got down from the hood of his truck, finding that they had smashed the fender and bent the driver's side rock slider. _Still drivable,_ he decided. Sliding behind the wheel, he set out. It was one more thing to talk over with Bonnie. Penny was playing for keeps. His lively mind worked down through the list of problems facing him as he rolled through late afternoon traffic.

Arriving at the hotel, he parked his ride, set the alarm and his mother's nasty set-spell, then headed upstairs to his room. Alerted to danger, his keen eyes picked up a peculiar sight. A Froyo Guard stood near one of the entrances. Why would a Froyo Guard be here? Ragnhild had sent the vast majority of her army to fight the Lich. Only a few remained to look after the palace. And the princess.

As that thought crossed his mind, Billy the human let out a shout of joy and practically ran up the stairs. Taking them two at a time, he hit the fourth floor and almost knocked the door down. The noise had the guards on full alert in their ornate uniforms. The pair outside his quarters had their crossbows ready to hand, but they recognized their captain right enough. The fellow on the left even gave him a wink as he fumbled for his keys. It took him two tries to get the door open. Rushing inside, he found his beautiful lady waiting, dressed in a gown in pale blue silk that hugged tight to her heavenly body.

Shutting the door, the big man rushed up, snatched Ragnhild off her feet and kissed her thoroughly. "Too polite, my champion," the pale princess gasped. Billy blushed. His dad had caught him grabbing Ragnhild's bottom in public and warned him about that. Billy had broken himself of the habit. Now he gave her what she wanted, grabbing a big handful of princess-butt as he stole another kiss. The hero put his lips to her ear and told her how he missed her and how much he needed her. Grinding her hips against his fat dong, Ragnhild said, "I can tell..." She was frisky tonight, but Billy was concerned about Anders and what he saw. Breaking that embrace, she put on a teasing smile and said, "he's with the nursemaid..." Dinner forgotten, Billy picked her up and headed for the bedroom.

Later that same evening, a bleary-eyed Bonnie watched as a refreshed and radiant Phoebe came strolling into the sunray control station at half-past ten. She had an iron bowl full of coal slathered in a coating of bitumen, and she stood there spooning up the noxious concoction, chattering away at anyone who was handy. She looked happier than Bonnie had ever seen her, and it grated a little on the bubblegum princess's nerves. _She_ wanted to be pregnant. _She_ wanted to talk names with Finn. It was becoming an obsession.

Phoebe was still licking the spoon from her breakfast when she approached Bonnie. Seeing the way her friend looked made Phoebe instantly sad. "Did you get _any_ sleep," she asked? Bonnie flushed. She'd been working to restore the satellite control system all day. Unfortunately the satellite itself seemed to be damaged. She would have to go up and retrieve it to fix it–giving the Lich a full two days of mischief. Billy's news had come as the topper on a _lovely_ day. There were moments she fantasized about making Wildberry disappear. "Well," said Phoebe, "let's get at it. We'll do what we can until you can fix the machines. I need to go home for a while anyway."

Jealousy forgotten, Bonnie helped Phoebe climb into the machinery. "You're a little warmer tonight," she opined. Phoebe blushed. She'd spent a while playing with herself and daydreaming of Finn before coming in to work. She missed him, and she'd been thinking of calling him, even if she knew he couldn't get the signal in the wastelands. Still, she kept all of that to herself. The last thing she would have told bubblebutt was that she'd been jerking off in bed.

Done with the preparations, Bonnie went back to the console. Flicking the intercom, Bonnie said, "I'm almost ready. How're you doing?" "I'm ready to go," Phoebe replied. "Let me know when..." Bonnie initiated the control program and waited for the satellite to respond. It was getting more and more sluggish too. The systems hadn't really been designed for this, but, more to the point, she'd had to rush to get the whole thing ready without time to test the design. They were operating on a wing and a prayer. "Finally," she sighed, as the satellite began to answer her commands.

And then the commotion arose.

Outside, Fionna Mertens came rolling out of her rack, naked as the day she was born. Patrick had thought it was comical the first night. His girl, standing there in the buff, big wobbly boobies jutting out in front of her, looking for a fight. At least he had until she showed him her latest _trick_. With a barely verbalized thought, she caused pink crystals to flow from the pores of her skin. With every step she took towards the door, the crystals encapsulated more and more of her body until they covered her from head to foot in gleaming pinkish-red armor. He'd been in shock and, unbeknownst to Fionna, he'd spent a lot of time cursing himself and crying over that.

Out in the camp, the tall beauty shouted orders, sending the troops scrambling to meet the threat. She knew just where they were coming from. They had only begun to knock down houses. The perimeter was still too close to those houses, and the raiders could snipe her dudes with bows and take the watchmen out quietly. The young general rushed towards the distant sound of battle, arriving to find that, as she'd predicted, there were a lot of them stacked up at the barricades. Just like before, Penny's guys seemed to be a lot more afraid of Penny than even death himself, and they rushed forward, some even getting hung up and impaled on the barricades of iron and wooden spikes. That was ok, it was fewer getting through to Fionna's depleted army.

Just like her exhausted troops, Fionna waded in, meeting the enemy head on, wielding two crystal swords–her other new trick. The Red Knight they called her. The raiders feared the Red Knight, and many of them dropped their weapons and fled from her. Fionna let them go. She'd had to learn that lesson. The important thing was the forcefield and the sunray. Nothing else mattered. When one batch of raiders tucked tail, she turned and went after another, while beside her Patrick did his best to watch her back, even as he hurled ice and fire at their enemies. "Where the fuck are they coming from," muttered the wizard?! "How many of these losers does she have?!" It seemed like she was depleting Ooo of every itinerant bandit and mercenary in existence. Fionna cared not. She only had one thought. Kill them. Kill them until no more would com.

Monitoring the situation inside the makeshift headquarters, Bonnie thought of waking Nadia. Would things get close enough that Nadia would need to do emergency work on the forcefield? It had gotten that bad twice now. Bonnie knew Fionna was doing her best, but she wasn't Finn. She was barely eighteen, and in many ways she was still a child. Alarms announced what the candy monarch had been dreading. There were more bandits. Bonnie grabbed her radio and called Patrick, letting him know about the new threat. Just as she'd done before, Fionna raced her depleted army the length of the field, reacting to the threat outside their trenches. Bonnie watched as the bad bunny took the raiders to the woodshed. She was using the Curse. She used it almost as reflexively as Finn did now, and that bothered Bonnie a little. She felt like she was burning up two people she cared deeply about. At the same time, Ooo was at stake.

Now, as the alarm sounded once more–before Fionna could finish the second set of raiders–Bonnibel Bubblegum realized that Fionna's life would get much worse before it got better. "There's a lot of them," sighed Bonnie. Too many for the stub of their defense in that sector to handle. They'd done it perfectly. They had Fionna's troops tied up, and they were going for the kill. Nadia's machines were right in their path. "Phoebe," Bonnie murmured. "Yeah," said the Flame King. "I'm waiting." "This'll be close," said Bonnie. "Very close. We're going to have to put down fire very close to Nadia's forcefield machines." "You need me focused," breathed Phoebe. Which was hard on good days. She hadn't been lieing to Finn when she estimated her skills. Fire wasn't a very precise tool. "We need those machines intact, babe," said Bonnie. "Ok," Phoebe sighed. "Let's do this."


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41:

A blue disk of light sprang into being between Betty and the black shadow. At the same time, a hand came up, and shoved her backwards, sending her sprawling. As the beautiful older woman screamed, the big man went into battle against a half-dozen of the shadows. Dodging back from the grasping hands of one of the creatures, the big man deflected the attack of a second, before chopping through it. The dead thing squealed. Oh, how it shrieked as it dissolved down to nothing. Finn was already moving on, executing a graceful pirouette to decapitate a second creature. He moved so fast that Betty could barely follow him.

 _The curse,_ she thought! He was using the curse! The strange creatures might have been standing still. As they swooped and struck at him, he dodged aside, skewering one creature, then almost seeming to teleport to another location. As they dueled, two more creatures came in out of the darkness. Yelling a warning, Betty threw up an ice-wall to block the fiends–only to watch in horror as the creatures melted right through. She came very close to peeing her pants as one of the newcomers turned to face her. Following the ice up with a blast-bolt, she very nearly hit Finn–an ugly reminder of the earlier unpleasant conversation. As the creature swooped in, Finn drove his sword through its 'head' killing it instantly.

"Nega-Wraiths," said the hero as he levered her to her feet once more. "They're kinda' like the goo-bros." Which meant they were radioactive remnants– _shadows_ –of people killed in the war. Betty cussed him and punched him in the chest as hard as she could, shouting about the curse. Finn took the screaming stoically. He'd become almost reflexive about that. All girls seemed to do that to him–apparently even women that hated him. "A simple thank-you would have been enough," said Finn as he turned away. Betty cussed him some more, but Finn was moving on.

"There has to be stuff here," said Finn. "Door Lords didn't keep Nega-Wraiths as trophies, so I'm betting bone-face brought those dudes here." _As guards,_ Betty finished. It made sense. This whole place had a creepy vibe about it–nothing like the vibe she'd been expecting. "He's done something to the place," said Finn. "They're not usually this dark on the inside." After all, what good was treasure if you couldn't look at it? "Look around," said Finn. "See if you can find a light-switch..." "What about the Wraiths," Betty asked? "What if I run into more of them?" It stung to even suggest that she needed his protection, but she wasn't fool enough to be without it either. Finn replied, "they're not too bright. They come running to the sounds of a fight. If there were more in this chamber, we'd have gotten swarmed by them already."

The two spent more than an hour searching that vast space. In the end, they found nothing but debris and darkness. Finn called a halt in favor of lunch. The big man stabbed his torch into a pocket of his backpack, then set up a portable cookstove. As a famished Betty–she'd missed breakfast–looked on, he sliced and diced meat for lunch, mixed in some dried veggies, and served up a hearty stew. The man could cook. He hardly fit the stereotype of the wooden-headed tool that the commercials of her time made men out to be. Which was part of the weird attraction/revulsion _thing_ she had going on with him. He was sensitive but unashamedly masculine–proud to say he welcomed girls at his side but happy to protect them just the same. He was a walking contradiction.

The big man didn't let her enjoy the break very long. They only had about four days' food and water. They had to get this place explored and get back to the truck. He was adamant about that. Finishing up lunch, he packed the stew into a container, and they set out once more. The Door Lord's sanctum was surprisingly linear–nothing but a long, mostly straight corridor. Finn explained it as being something related to the builder's connection to the structure. Door Lords didn't have to worry about the length of their lairs. The original owner could simply _will_ himself from one place to another. Unfortunately they weren't Door Lords. They had to do things the hard way.

The pair encountered more Nega-Wraiths and a couple of Goo Bros tucked away in a storage cabinet. Finn ably dispatched the wraiths while Betty slagged the mutants with negligent ease. As the afternoon wore on, they began to function more and more like a team, with Finn suggesting things she should examine, and Betty pulling more of her weight in fights. Finally, after hours of climbing over the Door Lord's junk, Finn's watch beeped to announce dinner.

The big man unpacked their stew and heated it up, making sure to dole out a substantial amount of broth since they needed to stay hydrated. Silence held sway, punctuated by the occasional 'more, please' and 'thanks'. Afterwards, Finn sat staring into space, looking like a man who had just lost everything. It seemed hard to believe that he cared at all when he seemed to have gleefully screwed Simone's so-called 'best friend' and gotten her pregnant. A corner of her mind reminded Betty of their hard-won truce. She risked not just their lives but all of Ooo. At the same time, the silence was painful.

"For the record," Betty murmured, "when Simone told me what you'd said when she found out about the curse on Fionna... That I wouldn't take your calls... I went in the bathroom, and I cried." Finn's face snapped around. Staring down at her lap, Betty said, "I cried for half an hour." Finn flinched at those words. "Done a lot of crying lately," she admitted. In soft, measured tones, Finn replied, "I haven't slept since the attack..." When he closed his eyes, he saw Simone and E, speaking with the Lich's voice. Betty gasped in horror. At least her dreams about Simon were pleasant.

Shaking herself, she reminded, "we still have our children, Finn. With luck, we'll have grandchildren in a couple of years. Hmm? How about that?" Patting him on the arm, she said, "they won't be goldilocks like you and Simone, of course. They'll probably have muddy brown eyes and mousy hair like mine..." The big man frowned at her. "What does that mean," he asked? Guessing that he didn't understand genetics, Betty gently tried to explain the problem. Waving that away, Finn said, "Peebles already explained all that. What's wrong with brown hair?"

The older woman just stared at him. Blushing, she tried to articulate just what was wrong with her hair. All she could come up with was that it wasn't blonde. It was a mouthful of fail, and she felt sort of like an idiot trying to explain the male–the _human_ –obsession with blonde hair. Finn told her, "Dr. P is one of the prettiest girls I know, and she's got brown hair." Betty snorted, "you just like big tits..." Frowning, Finn retorted, "Lollipop Girl doesn't have much for boobies, but she's got brown hair." He proceeded to name a string of honeys who had brown or brunette hair. He was quite the connoisseur of women, and Betty said so.

Defensively, Finn said, "I meet a lot of girls while I'm working..." "Do you fuck them all," Betty retorted?! Staring straight ahead, Finn said, "I'm going to pay for what I did the rest of my days, Betty. I'll never have a chance to earn their forgiveness, but that doesn't give you the right to stick your fingers in my eye every chance you get." This was going off the rails fast, doing severe damage to their truce. Betty decided to cut things off before they got worse. "I... think I'm gonna' turn in," she said. Finn nodded. He would watch.

Under the big man's watchful eye, Betty rolled out her sleeping bag, climbed out of her hiking boots, and slipped inside, rolling over so that they didn't have to look at each other. Laying there staring at the wall, she found herself cursing her sharp and bitter tongue. She'd learned those habits at the feet of her mother, and she'd cultivated them across a lifetime. The sad fact was that he'd been in the right. He'd been trying to say that there was nothing wrong with brown hair and nothing particularly enviable about blonde hair. She'd taken the conversation south by projecting her own insecurities onto him.

That was what Betty took down into slumber–anger at herself and disappointment in her own inability to forgive a man who was doing all he could for her. The hard-nosed woman had been dreading falling asleep almost since she made those ugly revelations at the door of the sanctum. She feared that Simon had heard them somehow, and, much as she'd sort of been afraid of losing her mind, she now feared losing the tenuous contact with her husband. She hadn't idea the first what to do or say when he came for his visit. Unfortunately, thanks to her own sharp tongue, she didn't get a chance to think her way through the problem before she was fast asleep.

This time lucidity came fast, and she found herself back in their old apartment in Denmark. It was a dream so vivid, she almost felt like _Ooo_ was the dream, and she'd awakened in her home. It was five in the evening on one of those long, cold winter nights that Denmark was known for. It was a night exactly like the one where Simon had put the Ice Crown on that first time. She'd been laughing at him for buying such a ridiculous piece of junk. She'd never been very good or understanding about what he was trying to do, and she'd made fun of him. Often. At least she had until he had the first _episode_. _Who's laughing now,_ she thought?

"Hey, princess," said Simon, as he came into view. Betty's face snapped around to his. He was Simon again–just as he had been that night, wearing the stupid crown, and standing there with his hands in his pockets. "Why did you bring us here," she asked, pointing at the space around them–their old apartment? "I didn't," he said. "You did. You shape where we are. Mostly. I'm still learning about this whole 'being dead' thing, so I don't have as much control as some spirits. Anyways, princess, I don't have much time. The Lich's notes aren't far from this room. He kept a journal. You may be able to learn some stuff from it."

Betty nodded in understanding, but she was clearly distracted. "You alright," Simon asked? For answer, she gave him a bitter chuckle. No. She was unlikely to ever be 'alright' again. Especially with what she'd been forced to say to get into this place. Her husband was only dead a few days, and she'd been forced to reveal that horrid little truth about herself. "Talk to me, honey," said the specter.

"So now you know," sighed Betty, "you know what a disloyal shit I am..." Acting as if he hadn't heard that, Simon replied, "you have to know Finn didn't like doing that to you..." "Do you have to do this," Betty snapped?! "Play St. Simon?! Can't you yell?! Curse at me?! C-call me a bitch?!" Simon's voice held only pity as he said, "princess, you're doing enough of that yourself. I don't hold that against you. I was... tryin'a conjure up a girl to replace you when I got Simone..." "You were _mentally ill_ ," Betty muttered. "It's not the same, and you know it!" "Forgiven, then," Simon replied. "I gotta' go, babe. Theo's still lookin' for me. Find those journals. I think they're important."

Betty woke with a start. She found Finn sitting there in the harsh glare of their lamps just as he'd been when she'd gone under. _Has he been there all night,_ she wondered? Looking closer, she saw what she'd been too busy feeling sorry for herself to notice before. He looked like it had been a lot more than 'a few days' that he hadn't slept. "You look like ass," she said. Finn chuckled, "we're already inside, Betty..." It took a moment. Then they were both howling laughter.

Subsiding, she wiped at her moist eyes. Climbing out of her sleeping bag, she went to the big man and hugged him. "We both failed her, Finn," she murmured, "but we can make it up with Patrick and Fi and our grandkids..." Finn nodded. As Betty stood and stepped back, Finn rose and stretched. "Have a seat," said Betty. "I'll make something this time." The older woman went rummaging through his pack, coming up with a suitable breakfast of reconstituted eggs and a greasy piece of jerky. It was garbage from Squeezy-Mart, but it filled their stomachs, letting them get back to the grim business at hand.

Betty told her companion, "Simon says the Lich kept a journal. He thinks it's nearby." That news had Finn excited. Dousing the camp stove and hitching on his pack, he was quick to get back on topic. Betty took her time, gathering her gear in and rolling up her sleeping bag until it was tight against the frame of her pack just like her father taught her. Only then did she join Finn in getting ready to face the maze.

The duo searched high and low, paying particular attention to any cubbies or cabinets they came across or anything that might have held a secret compartment. Poking, prying, stabbing, twisting, and even using magic to echo-sound the various walls, they slowly worked their way down the long, broad corridor that was Pel the Door Lord's former home. As the hours crawled by, Finn's stomach began to rumble, becoming an ever-increasing distraction for Betty. Finally, the older woman turned to him and said, "we better feed you before you decide to bite." Finn flushed to his hair. Laughing, the older woman said, "my dad used to say that. Don't know why it stuck in my head."

They stopped right where they were and set up Finn's portable stove. Feeding in a little fuel, the big man got the stove going, and Betty pushed him aside to cook. Lunch was the remnant of the stew and some beans. Sitting there cross-legged on the floor, Betty looked surprisingly natural. Honestly, as rabidly and irritatingly devoted to the city life as she was, Finn wouldn't have believed she could hack it in the wilderness. "What," she asked, when she caught him looking at her? She had to bite her tongue because she almost hit him with a zinger about sizing her up for one of his fuck-toys.

With a shrug, Finn said, "didn't think you knew anything about camping." Betty laughed. She laughed and laughed. "Freakin' dad took us every spring, summer, and fall, whether we wanted to go or not," she muttered. "You seem to hate on him a lot," Finn rumbled. She turned and delivered a stinging glare. She'd always been able to reduce the men in her life to puddles of goo with that glare. Now Finn put down his food and said, "what happened to him? Why do you hate him like that?" Jaw hanging, Betty just goggled at him. He'd just uttered something inconceivable, and he stopped her cold. She had no reply because nobody had ever dared ask. In her day, it was a granted you hated your parents with a passion.

The older woman sat there staring at him, jaw working, but she couldn't articulate what she hated about her father. She just did. Seeing her struggle, Finn said, "why don't you tell me about him?" Her jaw came open again, but Finn never wavered. _In for a dime,_ she thought. She knew pretty much all there was to know about him. Why not? As the big man chewed his way through lunch, the older woman told him about her father.

She talked about how things had started. She told him about the early days as a family where her father was with them all the time. He was a typical dad, reading to her before bedtime, carrying her on his shoulders. Even taking her to parks. "Then something changed," said Betty. "He started spending more time at work than at home. It got so bad, mom put him out." Frowning, Finn asked, "what happened then?" With a shrug, Betty said, "he still came by to see us, at least for a little while. But he was kind of a dick. He was always complaining about stuff. He called me a slut once because he didn't like my bathing suit..." Shaking herself, she said, "I don't like talking about him. He was an ass, and ultimately, he took the easy way out by blowing his brains out with a gun."

Finn snorted in derision. She didn't understand anything. Frowning, the older woman demanded, "what does that mean?" With a shrug, the big man replied, "you're trying to take what you saw as a kid and use your grown-up eyes to explain it... But you can't. You didn't know enough about what was going on back then. I had to learn that the hard way. Twice." Un-nerved by his demeanor as much as the words, Betty cussed him to hell. Finn was characteristically unmoved. Instead of arguing with her, he finished up lunch, downed his water ration, and put away the stove. She wanted to punch him.

The two went back to the work of searching the Lich's lair, speaking little and, more or less, avoiding each other. For Betty the silence was deafening. She only had her failures to think of. Her mind kept seeing Simone–the young woman who'd done so much for her–consumed by the most evil being on the planet. Simone, who'd loved her like a mother. She was at peace with Simon, probably because she got to speak with him, but Finn was all too right. Neither of them would ever get to earn Simone's forgiveness.

Out of the blue, she turned to Finn and asked, "why do you think that...?" They were in one of the smaller portions of the vast, sprawling maze, checking the walls for secret panels. "I looked up to my adopted mom and dad," said Finn. "Me and Jake... we idolized dad, especially. He's the other part of why I became who I am." The adventurer. The righter of wrongs. "What I didn't know," said Finn, "was all the problems. I didn't see that dad was kind of a shit-disturber. Messin' with things he didn't have business messing with. His mistakes almost cost me both my brothers." Betty goggled at him as he explained the houseful of demons and evil artifacts his father had collected over the years. His father's trophy collection had become Jermaine's anchor, keeping Finn's brother from enjoying his life and moving on when their parents were gone.

"Before that, it was the sword," said Finn. "Dad had made it from the blood of one of his captive demons. Dad let Keoth go, but he never figured on Keoth wanting his blood back. That almost cost me Jake." Looking up into her brown eyes, the big man said, "we remember stuff from our childhood, but we don't always know the why's, Betty. You don't know why your dad... did what he did." When she might have argued that, he asked, "have you ever took a look at life from _his_ position?" Frowning, Betty allowed that she hadn't. She didn't see why it mattered. He'd abandoned his family. "But did he have a choice," Finn asked? "Maybe it was _despair_ that you saw." Betty's mouth came open to protest that, but a voice inside told her to listen. Finn said, "a man–a real man–lives his life for other people. That's what's expected of us. We provide. Are we selfish? Yeah, Simone had to kick me in the butt a couple of times when I didn't think about her and the kids. But they are the castle, and I'm the wall. They're the statue, and I'm the pedestal. I'm whatever they need me to be. That's the deal, whether you believe it or not."

Betty had heard those words before, and she'd always countered by saying that was artificial. It was a social construct. And yet every man she'd ever met believed it–including the one man who'd never had that culture to rely on. Finn hadn't been raised in the twenty-first century. He hadn't been raised by people at all.

"Your dad had to stand aside and watch you claw your way through life," said Finn. "He had to watch you do dumb stuff when he had no way to warn you away. I've seen more of the dumb stuff you can do to yourself than most, so I had a pretty good idea what was waiting on my kids. I've been lucky not to find myself kicked out of the house, and Simone, E, and me... we been there for the kids. I was even there for Bon and Shoko, even though I didn't know..." The one thing that disappointed him was that he'd had no chance with Marshall.

"Kind of shitty the way those two did that," said Betty. "I'll grant you that..." She spent a while staring at her feet. "I guess I have to admit it," she said. "Maybe I misjudged him. I mean... it's not like he tried to smash the world for money..." Finn laughed. No. He had the world's worst dad, bar none. "Why would he kill himself," she asked? With a shrug, Finn said, "the cruelest thing I ever said to Simone was that me'n the kids got by _without_ her..." Betty gasped in memory. She clearly remembered how distraught her daughter had been when she came back with the news about Fionna. She'd been crying when she came in, and mostly she stayed that way all night. She'd been a _mess_. Betty's face went red hot, as she realized what kind of despair Finn meant.

Just then, Finn stopped walking. Stepping back, he knelt down and began prying at one of the stones. Before Betty's amazed eyes, he pulled the stone up and several large notebooks with it. "The journals," Betty cried in excitement! Turning to Finn, she grabbed his face and planted a big, sloppy kiss on him. He was blushing to his hair when she finished. Betty was hardly paying attention. Taking the books in hand, she moved to the wall, sat down, and started thumbing her way through the pages. Finn turned his attention to the hole. As Betty watched out the corner of her eye, he pulled up old audio-tapes in worn and partly melted cases.

"That's a problem," Betty chirped. "I'd bet the last recorder in that format existed a thousand years back." Finn said, "relax. I got peeps who can rig something up." Setting the tapes aside, he pulled up a map. While Betty read, Finn poured over the map. "Africa," said Betty. "That's somewhere in... Hmm... One of the princesses hails from across the Med. We'll ask her." Flipping the map around, he said, "right now, I'm more interested in this." There was a smaller map there. "Trophy Hall," Betty whispered. "I guess we're going on a trophy hunt..."

In the end, the pair ended up camping out right where they were. The space was narrow and more readily defended. With a wall of ice up on three sides, they had a sanctuary. While Finn cooked up supper, Betty dug deep into the recesses of her mind and came up with a handy translator spell to help her read Russian. As Finn diced cubes of meat, she found herself gaining an appreciation for the mind behind the Lich. He was every bit as intelligent as Simon, and in many ways, the monstrous madman was Simon Petrikov's opposite. Shoving a book across to Finn, she wielded her Instrument and put a babelfish spell on him. "Tell me what you think of that," she said.

Frowning down at the page in front of him, Finn said, "I would have expected to understand it better when you put your wiz-biz on me." Looking up, he asked the obvious question, "what does it mean?" "Don't know, kiddo," Betty replied. Shaking her head, she said, "it's... It's like the reverse of Simon, Finn. Where Simon got worse over time, this guy seems to have gotten better... more lucid." She passed across the last book in the stack, and Finn immediately saw the difference. "He's making plans here," said the big man. "In the other book, he's just speaking jibberish." Nodding, Betty said, "I hope he's a little more coherent on the tapes. Simon seems to have been a little better with the tapes, so we'll see."

It had been quite the day, and Betty was eager to get some sleep now. She was anxious to see Simon and compare notes. In spite of the madness, his memories of his time as the Ice King were surprisingly vivid. He could tell you everything that had happened on a day over three-hundred years back, down even to the breakfast he ate. She hoped he could tell them about his encounters with the Lich. It took a while to drift off. She had a lot to think about. Everything from Simone through what she was going to do about Wizard City to her father. Her poor, misguided father. It was a shocking thought, but, with Finn's words fresh in her mind, she looked back and now saw _frustration_ instead of anger and hatred. He'd been _frustrated_ the day he'd come to visit and seen her swimsuit. It was like he was at his wits' end.

He'd been a heavy drinker towards the end of his life, and she'd blamed his hunger for the bottle for his death. She'd blamed the bottle. She'd blamed guns. She'd blamed his own masculinity. Now, after blaming everything in the world, she feared the problem was maybe a lot closer to home. Was she the death of her own dad? _No,_ she thought. _I didn't_ force _him to do himself in, but I honestly didn't help him either. I... abandoned him. Right when he needed me._ Now she knew how Simone felt. Betty had tried to poo-poo the business with Billy being suicidal, suggesting Finn was exaggerating, but those words struck a chord. Men built their _lives_ around nurturing other people. What did it say when your family was gone? What were you then? She didn't know, and she thought she really didn't _want_ to know, because it looked a lot like a bullet in the brain.

The setting for this night's dream was a dreadful one, and she had cause to wonder. Why here? Why would she dream of the Audience Hall? That would have been the last place she wanted to spend time with her husband. "You didn't help your dad," said Simon, "and you didn't help me..." Betty whirled around, and this time she saw Simon as she'd seen him last. Caked in blood, with his leg torn open near his crotch. His skin had gone to an ugly shade of blue-gray, and his eyes looked like they were shriveling.

Striding towards her, he said, "when were you going to tell me about wanting the Grand Master's job, Betty..." A horrified gasp left her lips. How did he know that? She'd never talked about that to anyone. "Maybe you were going to kill me and Simone after you got your way," Simon rumbled. "Is that it? Huh? Kill the both of us and ride off into the sunset with Finn? I kinda' have to wonder about that... I mean, he's so fast, he should have been able to stop the vine..." "N-no," howled Betty. "I-I... None of that's true!" "So you weren't planning to replace me," he asked? Flushing, Betty admitted, "y-yes... I... You didn't really want the job..." "But you put me up to take it, didn't you," he growled?! "Ya know, princess, I gotta' say you've always been an asshole. Now I see through you..."

Simon kept coming towards her, and Betty backpedaled before him. "S-Simon," she pleaded! "D-don't! God, Simon, why?" "You're not gonna' live off the fruits of my life, _princess_ ," growled Simon. "You know what you need to do..." He was in her face now, and he _stank_ of death. He smelled like warm earth. "I-I," stammered Betty. "You know what to do, princess," said Simon. "Kill yourself. Kill fucking Finn too, while you're at it. That bastard dumped on my daughter after I gave her to him. I should have fucking kept her myself. I'd have been a lot happier than twenty years with _you_." Betty flinched back from him, and she began to cry, bawling her eyes out. "You can end this," he said. "Kill Finn. Kill yourself, Betty. Prove your loyalty to us. Join us in the afterlife."

 **For the lemon-lovers. This update was running a little long, so I had to skip the planned lemons. For the rest of you: Wonder what's going on with the Door Lord's sanctum? :)**


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42:

"I want you to know that it's not you or anything you've done, Fionna," Bonnie said. The young woman shrugged. Bonnie knew she was hurting. Her dad had given this to her to do, and she'd promised that she would get it done. Having been the catalyst for all of this, Fionna felt the threat to the people of Ooo keenly. She had internalized the guilt as if she really was at fault here. Bonnie grabbed the tall girl and spun her around. The pink princess wrapped the blonde girl up in her arms and hugged her. "You were good, sweetie," the princess said. "You were so damn good. I-I'm sure your mothers are proud of you... I know I am. I'm... I know your daddy is so proud of you."

"Th-then _why_ ," wailed the blonde girl?! Stepping back, Bonnie motioned for the pale girl to sit down. Settling on the ground in front of her, Bonnie told her, "your dad wasn't very good with this sort of thing at your age, either, Fi. I... had to rein him in a couple of times when things got ugly with the merchant class. Politics is a word I hate with a passion, but it's the price we pay for civilization. I've been blessed in that I have the wit and knowledge to turn events my way most of the time. I'm... Well, I'm older than just about everybody on Ooo. I think only Betty's older than me now, and she didn't live all the intervening years... Sweetie, what that means is that I've gotten used to this... I can usually twist things so that Wildberry doesn't win very often. Now, though..." "You're here," murmured Fionna. "And she's there. With all of them. And only my brother's in the way."

Blushing, Bonnie said, "Billy's doing all he can, Fi. It's... He's wise for his age. But he doesn't really have any more power than your dad did. Unfortunately, the world where Finn could manipulate those witches' feelings to get them to do what he wanted... Well, it's not that world anymore." Fionna laughed. Her dad _was_ getting a little decrepit! "I'd call him _distinguished_ , sweetie," chuckled Bonnie. "But yes, he doesn't set hearts to racing as much when he walks into the council chambers, and that's as much because all of _us_ are older too. I'm... Well, I'm physically eighteen, and I'll probably be that way until the sun explodes. I've still got a pile of teen hormones in me. Unfortunately, Wildberry has become a sour old bitch who sees threats everywhere she looks. I'm afraid even your brother's pretty face isn't going to sway her."

Fionna said, "alright, then. I'll answer to this Nutjob or whatever his name is. "Ernst, Duke of Nuts," replied Bonnie. "Try not to hurt him or hurt his feelings, Fi. We need him to be so interested in being the savior of Ooo that he doesn't sell us out to Wildberry. At the very least, your brothers and sisters need time to try and find the source of these armies that keep popping up." Brushing Fi's face with the back of her hand, Bonnie asked, "ok?" "I'm not an idiot," muttered Fi. "I can handle it."

Hundreds of miles away in the Unaffiliated Baronies, Marshall Lee Abadeer sat strumming his Axe-Bass, staring out at the crowds assembled for market day. Some had remarked on his outfit–all-enveloping black–but he'd blown them off. He was just a dude playing his guitar on a street corner, charming the ladies. He was out here because his mom had asked him. He'd come because his dad needed him. The big blue dufus actually needed him.

And it felt good.

Marshall knew Finn was often... _sad_ about the way life had gone for him. The big man never used the 'd' word. He was surprisingly positive for such a self-righteous douche. That went a long way towards nurturing Marshall's own affection for the dad he hadn't realized he had. He _liked_ Finn, and, did he think about it, he had often liked Finn more than his mom. Now he was kinda' paying him back. "Are you even paying attention," the candy-girl asked? He chuckled. They were uneasy partners in this. The green lollipop was 'making herself useful' as a way of coping with her current situation. She was on the run. Penny's gangsters had attempted to murder her in her swanky shop just like she was street trash. Only the fact that Mafia Princess had already anticipated the attempt to abduct or murder her son kept them from succeeding. As it was, two long-time customers were dead–left laying in the shop with steel darts through their skulls.

She and Marshall were simply the _best_ of friends. Which was to say she'd called him a creep for hitting on her. Marshall called it flirting. The Vampire King had been bored and a little hungry. With a little face paint on, she was pretty enough to have a go at. He'd found that oddly he had a taste for the mature stuff now. Of course it was a little creepy finding out that his father had been there first. Finn porking the babysitter. Wow. His mom had said shit was complicated.

The Vampire King gave the prim and proper ex-model a toothy smile and said, "you're supposed to be my toy-girl. You know toy's don't talk, right?" Lollipop glared at him. "I changed your diaper, kid," said she. "Don't make me kick your ass..." Marshall chuckled. All the chicks his dad romanced seem to act like that. Especially the little lawyer. It was hard to believe the big blue dufus was getting it like that. He didn't seem like the type.

Laying down the guitar, Marshall replied, "of course I am, sugar-babe. The whole point is not to look interested. By the way, where's the kid?" Flushing to her chocolate-brown hair, Lollipop muttered, "with his momma." It was a sore point. Marshall thought his dad's sucker had started to think of little Van as _her_ little boy. She had quarreled with daddy-o's cherry soda girl over what the little guy ate, over his clothes, and even over the soap used to bathe him. "Surprised you didn't go for your own," Marshall quipped. "Everybody else did..." Before she could brain him with the frying pan she was using to cook up their cover-story–caramel-fish delights–activity across the street announced that the two spies should be paying attention to the job.

The ancient castle/palace had been sacked by a very recent crew of barbarians. The local baron had gone on extended holiday while bandits took control of his estate. He wasn't alone. The mountainous land north of Purple Princess's kingdom was full of these tiny baronies. They were often isolated with one or two roads out if they were lucky, and few had money for an army. It was a small matter for a wealthy, _violent_ foe to move in, smash the locals, and take over. That gave Penny's dudes cover to hide the armies they had been building up to attack the Lich Containment Zone.

The castle gate opened, and a small contingent of horsemen rode out. This was a land that lacked the modern amenities the spies were used to–a fact three miserable, complaining women reminded Marshall Lee and his bro-in-law of every time they had to pee. Ironically it wasn't even the lawyer who was the worst. That was Star by a country mile. Poor Thor had to go clear the outhouse of spiders every time she needed to go. Marshall propped his axe against the side of the stall, saying, "make sure my bass gets home..." So saying, he headed into the back of the stall and out of sight.

Now that he was a full-fledged vampire, he had all the tools he'd lacked. It was like his time as a dhampyr was a gateway drug because he was really digging the full monte. Shrinking down to the size of a bat and becoming invisible, he slipped out into the early-evening twilight. Flitting from shadow to shadow to dodge the last of the sun, it would take a while for him to catch up, but then these people were never in much of a hurry. They were comfortable here, and they felt like nobody could touch them. Which, irony of ironies, made it easy for their enemies.

Meanwhile, Lollipop went through the motions of closing up shop. Packing away the food and supplies, she went and washed out her skillet. Then, with all her gear packed onto the cart she'd bought here, the slim beauty went up the street to the ramshackle house she shared with Finn's daughter, son-in-law, and her fellow mistress. There was a weight of jealousy there. Lollipop imagined that all of them were jealous of each other and jealous of the time the others spent with Finn, even if nearly all of them had careers and important positions they were filling that kept them constantly on the move with little time to spend on him. It helped not at all that Cherry was asserting herself as Van's mother.

 _You're no better than she is,_ thought the model-turned business-woman. If Finn was lonely and finding himself increasingly dragged into one affair after another, a lot of it was that the women around him blitzed in and out of his life like speeding trains. The only thing Lollipop had going for her was that her commitments were much smaller in scale than Bonnibel Bubblegum or Phoebe the Flame King. She only had a dozen or so shops scattered across three kingdoms. _And a horde of investors who're irritated with you for spending time on a child that's not even_ yours _,_ thought Lollipop.

Arriving in the run down house, she took a good look around her, finding that she kind of missed the vacations in Purple Kingdom. Sampling the wines. Tasting the cheese. The warm ocean breezes. She had some of the flavor of that here, but between the worries over Finn, her fights with Cherry over Van, and the ernest fear of what was happening to her little company while she was on the lam, she wasn't really enjoying it. That was one of the worst pieces of things. She could be going _bankrupt_ and not know it.

"Good," said Cherry. "You're back. Van's upstairs. He needs changing."

Lollipop glared at her. "I know," said the crime boss. "You're not the maid. But you are basically along for the ride, and I have work to do. Take care of it." And without a further word, she disappeared into the room in the back where she did her skullduggery. Irritated, Lollipop almost followed her in there. She wanted to cuss her to hell and back. Instead, she went into the kitchen, put the food up in the tiny, olive-oil powered fridge, and headed up to look in on her little darling. Halfway up the stairs, she encountered Star, headed down.

"There's some food in the kitchen," said Lollipop. Star flushed. She'd complained. She'd whined about the endless diet of _fish_ that they ate here. It was cheap and filling, and it helped maintain their cover. They were just a small family of gypsies, wandering from town to town as the mood struck them. And the candied fish got people talking. Nobody could deny that Lollipop made a mean caramel-fish delight. Stopping on the stairs, the little woman thanked her profusely. Smiling, Lollipop tousled her hair, saying, "I know you didn't mean it, sweetie. This isn't easy on any of us. Marshall's following another group of those thugs from the manor."

Star and Marshall had been following these little bands of bandits since they'd gotten here, taking it turn and turn about. There had been dozens of them. They came in by night or slipped in onesie-twosie during the day, hid out in that house, and then, when there were enough of them gathered, they rode out. Cherry had concluded that this place was some sort of waystation. Frequently drovers came in and dropped off dozens of horses at one time, installing them in corrals and pens on the manor-house's grounds. Over time, those numbers got depleted as small groups of bandits headed out once more, taking the road south and west towards the coast.

"Thanks," Star replied. Lollipop gave her a hug. In soft tones, she said, "be careful, sweetie. I know you haven't been able to get pills since we got out here." Getting knocked-up would make it a little difficult to do her thing. Blushing, Star got on her way, heading down to the crime-boss's little office. She found Cherry going over the latest coded telegram from home. The news was poor. Finn was still missing in the wastes. Her fellow wives were unable to shake free to go looking, things on the ice at the Lich's place were headed south, and Wildberry was consolidating her control over the Council. _And_ you _are stuck_ here _,_ Cherry thought.

"Bad," asked Star? Cherry frowned at her. Stepping fully into the room, the wizard said, "she's upstairs." They kept things from Lollipop. Especially where Finn was concerned. Star shut the door. With a heavy sigh, Cherry said, "no word from your father... Bonnie and Phoebe are stuck on the island trying to get the containment back to full strength, and your brother's lost functional control of the Council to Wildberry..." Frowning, Star asked, "w-what about Shoko?" "In the Jungle Kingdom buying as much ore as she can get. Boniface is trying to build a second army in the Purple Kingdom. Everybody's committed, Star. We have nobody on the bench right now."

Star sighed. Smart as he was, Billy wasn't a genius like Shoko. He wouldn't have known what the radioactive ore the gridface people needed even looked like. And no princess would have accepted him on their land building an army. He was in his spot. Bon was in his. They were all committed just where they were needed. All but Marceline. Star wanted to punch her in the throat for more or less surrendering her power to the enemy. They were boned. There was no getting around it.

Moving on, Star reported, "Marshall's tracking another crop." Cherry thought about that. "This could be a good chance for us to finally run this thing to ground," said Cherry. "We already have a good idea where these guys are headed. I want to run this to ground." Star nodded. They had a good idea that these jokers were coming out of the no-man's land north and east of Purple Kingdom. Some they'd captured had come from the land northwest of Emerald Kingdom. Short of sweeping the petty baronies with an army, they couldn't cut the source. _But maybe we can stop them sailing to the containment zone,_ Star thought. Smiling, she said, "I'll go tell Lollipop to pack."

It took longer to find Marshall than it did to pack up the few things they had in the house. In short order the 'gypsies' were rolling down the road in the cool evening air, feeling their way through the mountains. Lollipop occupied the seat up front with Cherry's butler, while Cherry, Thor, and Star sat in back, riding atop the hidden chassis of Cherry's latest toy. Marshall Lee flew right in the back of the canvas cover and transformed there. Doffing his hat–it felt good to get that off–he told the little lawyer, "they met up with about two-hundred more dudes and started heading for the coast." "That's five-thousand so far," muttered Star. That was a lot of men anyway you looked at it. Star wanted out of here pronto. She wanted to head for home to warn the princesses and get started on the hunt for her dad.

"No, Star," sighed Cherry. "We have to finish this. We have to do the count one last time." Star knew instinctively what she was saying. It wasn't enough to count the beans that seemed to be going into the pot. In this case, they had to count the beans in the pot too, just to be sure. "It'll be good to see how they plan to get to the Containment," said Star. Cherry nodded. Just so.

They rode mostly at night, doing their best to dodge around the endless little villages and hamlets in the mountains. Marshall would scout ahead at night, finding places that seemed to be under control of their enemy, letting them slip through mostly unnoticed. During the day, Thor and Star guarded their rough little camp, while most everybody slept inside their vehicle. Finally, on the tenth day of their long ride, they came rolling down out of the mountains to a terrifying sight on the plains below.

"Cherry," called Lollipop. The crime boss was at her side immediately, poking her head through the opening in the canvas cover over their 'wagon'. What she saw there in the valley sent a chill down her spine. Campfires. She'd never seen so many campfires in her life. It was an ominous sign that the problem was considerably worse than even she had surmised. Crawling back into the wagon, she woke her stepdaughter and henchman, telling the pair to get ready to go into action. She crawled into her hidden limo, shed the traveling dress she'd worn, and climbed into something more suited to sneaking around in an enemy-held town. By the time she'd exited the 'wagon', Marshall had returned.

"Well, you look totes different," Marshall murmured. Cherry gave him a sweet smile that seemed to say, 'don't mess with me'. Moving on, the Vampire King said, "they've taken over the whole town. The people are all in doors, locked away and under guard..." "And the leadership," asked Cherry? "They took over the mayor's mansion," Marshall replied. "They've got the mayor and his family locked up down in their basement, and they're upstairs." "Then that's where we need to go," said Cherry. Marshall grimaced. He didn't think that was a good idea, and he said so. Her eyebrows climbed a couple of notches, her expression suggesting that he didn't dare tell her what to do.

The vampire reminded her, "you're not a fighter..." "We're not here to fight," she replied. "We're here to spy. I only want to get close, Marshall. Just to see what we're dealing with." The goth rocker muttered curses under his breath. Years of getting thrashed by his mom for using foul language kept him from doing worse than that in front of an 'elder'. Marshall jabbed a finger in her face and said, "dad won't like this. You stay here, or we get back in the wagon and we go." The little woman actually glanced away, reminding everybody present that there was one person who had the will to make her dance to his tune. "Alright," muttered Cherry. "Compromise. I still want to see this army. We go in and hang out while you penetrate to the center of town." "Fair enough," muttered Marshall. He didn't like it, but at least she was going to be out of danger.

Leaving Jeeves and Lollipop with their ride, Cherry, Star, and Thor followed the Vampire King down the valley towards the town of Coppola. Star was impressed to find that the beautiful older woman was as spry as a sweet young thing, and she easily kept up with them as they padded along through the darkness. Both Star and Thor kept their weapons out and at the ready, just in case as they wove their way in and out among the trees. Finally, on the outskirts of the town, Marshall Lee stopped them. "This is as far as you go," he told Cherry. The crime boss leaned against a tree casually and motioned for them to go on. Shaking his head and muttering curses, Marshall signaled his sister and bro-in-law to come along.

Cherry watched the trio disappear into the town. Staring up at the sky–the moon was pretty tonight–she thought of her husband while she waited for the kids to get out of sight and hearing. _Where are you, Finn,_ she thought. She refused to believe he had been killed by Baba Yaga. But the question remained. Where was he? No answer came to mind as she stood there waiting, and when she thought the kids were far enough gone, the sexy gangster girl stepped off, turning sharply to her right, and heading straight for a heavily guarded farm house.

It disarmed most people when you walked up and offered your surrender. They rarely expected it. When she told them she would be valuable to their boss–alive–that really got them going and got her an express ticket straight into town. A mere half-hour after she'd parted company with the kids, she found herself sitting in the former mayor's office exchanging unpleasant pleasantries with the man who seemed to run the show here.

Adrijan the Pas smiled down at the petite little beauty before him. He'd heard of the strange _candy_ people from the west, but he'd never met one. More to the point, he'd overheard his paymaster talking about one particular face among that number. Cherry Cream Soda was supposed to be most-beautiful in a strange sort of fashion. She was a beautiful little creature with the heart of a viper. "I see you know me," Cherry offered. It wasn't a question. Adrijan chuckled, "perhaps I do." Settling on the edge of the mayor's desk, he gave her a good, thorough looking over. Most women he had met were terrified when a male did that, signaling as it did some very bad intentions. Cherry merely frowned at him as if wondering why he wasn't coming to the point.

"They say you are the chief bandit of these lands," he said. Cherry shrugged. A lot of things got said about her. "You don't look like much of a bandit," he opined. Cherry told him, "you want to come to the point, Mr...?" "Adrijan," he replied. "I'm Adrijan. I was bandit lord of a small domain to the east of here–across the waters." "And what brings you to the civilized kingdoms, Adrijan," replied Cherry? Her voice was cold as ice, and he wondered what it would take to warm a heart like that. Rumor held that the famous Finn the Human had warmed that heart. Chuckling, Adrijan replied, "I traded the cloth of a bandit for the uniform of a general."

"You traded a comfortable spot preying on the poor slugs of your homeland for a death sentence attacking the people who have the Lich bottled up," replied Cherry. Nodding, Adrijan replied, "they told me you would say that..." Flicking open his knife, he cleaned his nails–an unnerving habit that had caused more than one little piece of fluff like this to piss herself. Cherry patiently waited for him to finish, then asked, "have you been there, Mr. Adrijan? I have." "Oh, have you," he asked? Nodding, Cherry said, "there is a woman there, with a body made all of fire. She and her people can scorch this army you've gathered..." "...but that's where the harlots come in," interrupted Adrijan. "Many of them have mystical powers. I have seen this with my own eyes."

Cherry's eyes narrowed. "I'm told you traveled with one," said Adrijan. "Where is the little whore, by the way? I hear she's a very nasty customer." "My stepdaughter is running an errand for me," replied Cherry. "Right now we're talking..." The bandit told her, "I've never met a woman who wasn't afraid of me." "I have seen plenty of people die, Mr. Adrijan," Cherry replied. "I have given the orders many times." "You give _orders_ ," he rumbled. Nodding, Cherry said, "a state you aspire to..." He flushed, his train of thought derailed. It was clear that he had either forgotten what it meant to be a general, or he had never bothered giving much thought to where he now stood in the pecking order. "My hands are as stained with blood as yours," said the crime-boss. "Now what do you want here? If it's money, I can send you home with enough to live out your days in comfort. If you don't turn aside now, you'll only bring death upon yourself and all the people of Ooo."

"What do you taste like," he asked? That question surprised her. Licking his lips, he said, "the stories say you have paid for many things with that fine body..." Rolling her eyes, Cherry twirled a lock of hair around one slim finger and said, "I don't think you want to go there, Mr. Adrijan. My husband wouldn't like that very much. He has killed _many_ men over me. I watched one bleed to death clutching the stump of the arm he would have touched me with..." She was merely stating fact, and that was what gave him the willies. Not fear. Not desperate pleading. She merely made it clear that should he choose to touch her, he would not long survive it. Turning to his henchman, the bandit-general snarled, "take her to the cell with the others."

In short order, the little crime boss found herself occupying a cell with the mayor of this forgotten town. As the guards disappeared up the stairs once more, Cherry turned to see what she was dealing with. There were five of them down there. The mayor was an older purple person, his skin looking faded with age until he was more blue than anything, his hair streaked with white. His wife looked to be physically similar in age to Cherry, and she still retained some of the beauty that she'd bestowed on their two daughters, who just now cowered in a corner of the basement. The fifty member of the family was grandma, who looked to have seen much better days.

"And who are you," asked the mayor? "My name is Cherry Cream Soda," the crime boss replied. "I came here representing the Crowns of Ooo to see what was going on here." "Then you've seen just what these animals have done to our lovely town," the mayor's wife replied. She was feisty, which had likely helped them keep their family safe, but it didn't necessarily translate into effective action to get out of the mess they were currently in. Injecting calm into her voice, Cherry suggested, "why don't you tell me what's been going on...?" The pair stared at her a moment, as if that hadn't even occurred to them.

Clearing his throat, the mayor began to explain all that had happened since the strangers came into town months ago. "At first they just hung out in the taverns," he said. "They got into a few fights with sailors from the ships that pass by..." The town had made its money supplying food and water to ships sailing along the coast from the Purple Kingdom to Engagement Ring Kingdom for several centuries now. They were mostly independent, but they tended to lean on their neighbors in the south. Until the strangers rode in. "My constables kept the peace," said the mayor, "and we even offered them jobs if they would stay out of trouble and stop fighting." "But they were just biding their time until there was enough of them," murmured Cherry. "Is that it?" It was the same game she had played many times. Penny was learning from _her_ playbook.

Nodding, the mayor said, "they took over suddenly. It just happened one night while most of us were asleep. They killed my constables to a man... just showed up at their houses and executed those men and their families all at one go. They marched in here and took my wife and I prisoner. My son was able to get away, and I'd hoped that he got south to the Purple Kingdom to bring back help, but after _weeks_ of this _occupation_..." Cherry sighed. The boy was likely dead. These men would have been on the lookout for anyone escaping and bringing back trouble. It was one more reason she had to get free of here.

"What do they do with the ships," she asked? "Do ships still stop here?" "Dozens have," said the mayor. "I... They let some of our people out to serve them, but I suspect that they've been taking some of the ships over for some reason." Cherry knew the reason. They were building up an invasion fleet. Bonnie and Phoebe had been dealing with small-scale assaults for weeks now, but that may have been an attempt to soften up the defenses. _And now that fool is in charge,_ thought Cherry. This was going to get ugly, and, if they _could_ still hold on, it was going to be a very close thing.

Sitting down on the floor, the little crime boss wrestled off one of her hiking boots. As the mayor and his family looked on, she reached inside and pulled a tiny device out of her shoe. Activating the tracking device, Cherry wrestled her boot back on. It was time she was getting out of here.

It was the wee hours of the morning when the roar of a massive engine filled the streets of the Coppola. The town was in the throes of slumber, and even the most committed carouser among the bandit army had finally sought his bed. The only thing that remained were the handful of guards roaming the town, and, at first, they had no idea what they were hearing. Many had been imported from lands that had forgotten the hand of technology. Others knew it as something almost magical that the masked people to their north held in their iron grip. None were prepared for the three-ton death machine that came tearing up the streets in the darkness.

Lollipop stood in the open hatch above the passenger seat manning twin dart guns, and she ventilated anybody she saw, while Jeeves sat in the driver's seat, steering over, around, and through any obstacles that got in the way. The heavy offroad suspension, extended to its maximum height, let them plow right over boulders and small trees, and the manservant did his best to avoid the houses, knowing that the town's citizens were trapped inside. The butler drove up one street and down the next, drawing soldiers from all over the town to the source of the commotion. And, as those men arrived singly or in little knots, the former model liquidated them with prejudice, feeling the electric thrill of the moment.

Inside the mayor's house, the leader of that terrible army came rolling out of his bedroll in a state of terror. He'd never heard a commotion so awful since the mine fell in on some of his neighbors years ago. Adrijan went to the windows to see, but all he could discern were the distant movement of torches and the terrible sounds of a battle. _She wouldn't have come alone,_ he thought. His men had captured her all by herself in the forest, but she wouldn't have come alone. Turning to the oily black figure that stood in the corner, the evil bandit-lord said, "get to the basement. They'll be trying to let my guests out."

Marshall Lee Abadeer came crashing into the basement's rear exit like a cannon-shot, blasting the door into splinters. His eyes scanned the scene, expecting to find his stepmom strapped to a table getting pins shoved up under her elegantly painted fingernails or something. Instead, he found her sitting crosslegged on the floor, chatting up a small group of the locals. "I fucking told you to sit tight," he growled. "Watch your language," Cherry growled, as she rose from her spot. Dusting off her round little butt, the older woman told her hosts, "it's time to go. I can get you south to Purple Kingdom. Maybe that will convince Purple Princess to get off her ass and commit some resources here."

"You're not going anywhere," a dry, gravely voice growled. All seven faces turned to find a roughly woman-shaped blob of oily muck standing at the stairs. "Go," shouted Marshall, as he strode forward. Shouting warnings at him, Cherry herded the mayor and his family towards the exit. Marshall sized up the muck-creature. This was one of the nasty _things_ that dissolved people. _So don't let it touch you,_ he decided. "What are you," growled the creature? "I can barely see you." Marshall frowned in puzzlement. The creature feinted forward, but it might as well have been standing still as he easily dodged its clumsy attack. Marshall grabbed a heavy pipe and tore it out of the wall, then swung it hard enough to shatter bones. The length of lead sliced through the creature at chest height, nearly cutting it in half. Backpedaling, the Dipped howled in pain.

The two began to spar down there in the darkness, feinting and dodging. Marshall was much faster, and the muck-creature seemed almost as though it were blind. He began to get a sense that there was more going on there than met the eye. _You're one of Death's creatures too,_ he thought. As the creature flailed about, he got shocking confirmation of the truth of that statement when the monster clocked him across the jaw–a blow that would have been fatal for a mortal. "Yuck," growled the Vampire King as he wiped the gooey muck from his face. "Y-you're not supposed to survive that," howled the creature. "Nope," chuckled Marshall, as he swooped in.

Up on the street, Cherry got the mayor and his family hunkered down in the shadow of the house while she thought about her next move. She could hear her car in the distance, and she imagined it was being used to draw the enemy away. She needed Jeeves _here_ now, though. Star and Thor came out of the darkness, joining her in the shadows of the house as the bandits inside began to get organized. "Glad you're safe," Star said. Thor was on the phone with her car. It was time they were going.

The battle seemed almost to play out in slow motion. Thugs came piling into the streets, either racing to the aid of their leader or following the thunderous noise of that engine. As each little clot of bandits arrived, Star and Thor dispatched them. Cherry kept the mayor and his people back and kept them calm as the bodies piled up. It almost looked as though they might end up taking out the enemy army single handedly until the wall of the house erupted and Mashall came flying out, the evil sludge-monster hot on his heels.

"I can't see you," growled the evil creature, "but I can see _around_ you." Wielding sharpened bits of wood scooped from the wreckage of the wall, the creature flailed at Marshall Lee, slashing his shirt open and scoring his arms repeatedly until he was bleeding profusely. It was the toughest fight of the Vampire King's short unlife. That was when the limo tore onto the scene. Cherry got up, grabbed the first of the mayor's daughters and shoved her into the open back door. Then she turned for the second. The mayor's wife wasted not a minute in climbing up after her children, sparing not a moment for their grandmother. Cherry shouted at the mayor to go as Thor and Star converged on her position.

" _Get your ass in the car_ ," shouted Marshall, but Cherry was too busy helping the elderly woman climb up. Marshall turned back to the dripping ball of ooze that had once been a woman, struggling to block it from attacking his friends and family. While his attention was occupied, Adrijan came out of a side door of the mayor's mansion, hefting a dart-rifle. As Star flattened two of his men, the bandit-lord laid the muzzle in line with the pretty princess and let fly. Marshall heard his sister scream, then turned to find Cherry already falling, the old woman falling dead beside her.

Marshall grew to the size of a small giant. Grabbing the evil pile of goo in both hands, he hurled it at the crime boss. Adrijan briefly screamed as the ooze immediately began to rot him to nothing on contact. Marshall turned, grabbed his stepmom, and shoved her into the back of the van. As the Dipped tried to recover, Cherry's souped up limo-van tore out of there. Marshall told the creature, "next time, I'll end you." And then he turned and flew after the van.

The streets of Coppola were in chaos as the van went weaving in and out among the scattered houses, tearing through yards and overturning chicken coops. The bandits were doing all they could to contain the prisoners who'd escaped, but most of their forces were still outside the town and many of the men who'd been on guard were dead. The chaos let the little party get out of town without further incident. Jeeves' hands were sure on the controls, steering the heavy vehicle around houses and obstacles, the offroad suspension soaking up impacts as he jumped ditches and stumps, and knocked down a couple of small trees.

In the back of the van, Star got the rear bench folded down and lay her stepmom out on the cushion. She was hit bad. The needle was buried deep in her chest, and Star thought it was close enough to her heart to be fatal. Tears falling like rain, she fumbled out the first-aid kit from under the seat. "Thor," the little woman shouted. The big man immediately fell to work, pulling the steel needle out of his boss's breast. That almost seemed to make things worse as now they heard a terrifying sucking sound coming from Cherry's chest with each breath she took.

Lollipop could tell Star knew what she was doing, but she could also see the young woman was lost in the fear of losing somebody important to her. Leaving her post at the front of the van–there seemed little need for weapons now anyway–she came to the rear and settled in with Finn's little girl, saying, "calm down... Let's work through this one step at a time. Sucking chest wound, Star. What do we need to do?" "S-seal it," burbled Star. Fumbling out a package of sterile gauze, the young woman tore the package off, using it to build up a three-sided patch, telling Lollipop to cut Cherry's blouse and bra off.

Cherry frowned up at the glowing light that hovered before her eyes. _Twenty years as the most selfish cunt in Ooo...,_ she thought. _Living for vengeance, and you get shot trying to help some old bat climb into your car. Ain't this a bitch._ She couldn't imagine how Finn went through this. She'd thought she was prepared for just about anything, but she probably would have screamed if she could catch her breath at all. He'd told her that he was more prepared for the life he led than she was. Now she had some idea what he meant. She'd just given orders, but he'd had to go through _this_.

As Star fumbled at saving her life–she was really a sweet kid–Cherry found herself floating free. _Doesn't take long,_ she thought. _Here one minute. Gone the next._ The light beckoned, and she found herself walking towards it, feeling weightless. She imagined Bonnie dancing on her grave. _We really ought to work that out,_ she decided. _If we're going to make this thing work, we need to get it all out on the table. I don't want to spend the rest of Finn's life fighting with her._

Floating above her body was kind of weird. Her detached, _clinical_ mind examined the various sensations. Predominant among them was _cold_. She felt really flippin' cold. Watching her stepdaughter pump and thump on her chest was strange too because she absolutely felt nothing. Just the cold. And the weightlessness. "Hey, baby," called a familiar voice.

Cherry turned to find her first husband there before that blue-white light. Rootbeer was just like she remembered him. He was dressed in the jacket she'd bought him, his wingtips, and her favorite tie. Cherry acknowledged him with the barest of nods. "C'mon, honey," said Rootbeer. "I mean... don't tell me you love that stiff, Finn, more than me." Cherry frowned at him. Stepping towards her, he said, "baby, I missed you. I... I want us to be together again. We've got eternity now."

"So you're Theo," the crime boss declared. Death goggled at her. His expression said it all. How did she know? "That wasn't _Rootbeer's_ favorite outfit," Cherry replied. "It was mine. He was never more proud than when he was wearing fucking Bonnie's uniform, and nothing I said mattered. Rootbeer would never have appeared to me like _that_." The irritated avatar rumbled, "well, so what. You're dead now, toots. You've been dead long enough that you can't just go back... Just come quiet. It'll only be ten-thousand years for you." Cherry snorted in derision. "What," laughed Death. "You think your precious _hero_ is going to save you? He can't even save himself!" "You think so," she asked? "He's trapped in time, toots," laughed Death. "By the time he walks out o'that Door Lord's fortress, this will all be over!" "Thanks," said Cherry. "That's what I needed to know." "Where do you think you're going," howled the evil entity?!

Cherry sat up with a start to find Jeeves putting the cap back on the empty bottle of Decorpsinator Serum. Cherry's eyes locked with Star's. Far from being upset by the fact that somehow she still had the formula, Star threw herself on her stepmom and hugged the stuffing out of her. "I'm ok, baby," Cherry whispered, as she stroked the young woman's yellow hair. "I'm just fine. I'm prepared for this." More importantly, she now knew what was going on with Finn. "Jeeves," she said, "we need to get to San Giorgio. Fast." "Bon," stammered Star? "Yeah, honey," said Cherry. "I need your brother's brain."

Towards morning, a relieved Marshall Lee rejoined them, hunkering down in the car to avoid the sun. Cherry quickly filled him in on what she'd seen and heard both inside the town and in her ugly conversation with Death. "Getting tired of that motherfucker," rumbled Marshall. "I think we can put his plans in play, honey," said Cherry. "We just need to get to the Purple Kingdom. I'm hoping your brother's been successful in putting together that army of Lizard-folk and Purple people, and maybe he might help us figure out what's happened to your father."

The drive south to Purple Kingdom would have been wonderful if they hadn't been crowded into the back of a van bouncing and bumping over rough wilderness trails in the middle of nowhere. The country was wild and empty with only a few villages scattered along the route. They passed ancient vineyards that ran wild with the grapes Purple Kingdom was famous for. They forded wild rivers that cut through broad, open meadows, and they drove by ancient ruins, some of which predated the time of the Mushroom War.

There was no time for sight-seeing. Star and Thor spelled Jeeves at the wheel, with Cherry and Lollipop manning the gun turret. Driving night and day, they hit Purple Princess's capitol six days after setting out. Rolling down the ancient highway that led, straight as an arrow to the Paisley Palace, they drove past Purple folk who were still industriously harvesting grapes. It was an ominous sign that Bon's efforts might not be going well. Stowing the limo's weapons, the little group made the final run into town, rolling up on the palace near noon.

Bon wasn't hard to find. He and Lizard Princess were both leaving the palace, looking angry. The reptilian woman turned sharply and stormed off. An irritated Boniface strode up to where Jeeves was opening the door of the limo. "Your Highness," Bon greeted Cherry. Star wasn't having any of that. Grabbing him by the arm, she pulled him into the limo. As Jeeves shut the door, the wood nymph tried to hug the stuffing out of him. He took quite the hit to his dignity.

After inquiring where the young man was staying, Jeeves put the limo in motion once more. "Before we talk about the army we didn't get," said Cherry, "I need an answer to a puzzle. I met our opponent–our real one–and he explained what's going on with Finn." Bon's face curled in a frown. As far as he knew from his research, there were only two ways to meet Death in person, and Cherry wasn't a black magician. Cherry's face was cool and placid, telling him she wasn't going to confirm or deny what he'd guessed. "What did he say," asked the bubblegum prince? Cherry replied, "he told me that Finn couldn't save me because he was lost in time. By the time Finn gets out of the Door Lord's sanctum, it will all be over..." Bon's expression changed with every word she uttered. As that last phrase left the soda woman's lips, the prince gasped in shock and fear. "Slow time," he burbled.

Four faces glared at him, suggesting he better explain that unintelligible comment. Bon, having been sired by a far more practical man than his mother, quickly articulated a more understandable answer. "Father's experiencing the passage of time at a slower rate than us," he explained. "We've been through three months, but he may have only experienced _hours_ or even _minutes_..." Four faces turned a little pale at the news. Finn wasn't expecting to be picked up for seven days, but that could be seven _years_ in the real world! Tapping the intercom, Cherry decisively said, "Jeeves? Airfield. We need to catch a plane."

 **Another big update. Hope to come back down to a more manageable size next time. Lot of time is passing while Finn's stuck in the Door Lord's sanctum.**


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43:

"Bad dream," Finn asked? Heart pounding, Betty nodded. She sat there a long few minutes under his watchful eye. No anger. No hatred. And none of the overbearing condescension she'd conditioned herself to see. Instead what she found was _concern_ bordering on _worry_. "Finn," she murmured. "I-I think he got Simon... I... I think Death appeared to me, wearing Simon's face." Finn was _very_ concerned now. Rising from his place, he was at her side in a heartbeat. Shaking herself–getting back a little of her fire–the fierce feminist told him, "I'm ok, Finn. Simon's ok, too..." Chuckling, she said, "the man was a saint, Finn. He probably skipped Theo's quarry and went straight to heaven." That image made Finn laugh.

Reaching out, Betty took hold of Finn's face, finding scars on scars there. He was still a handsome man, but up close, she saw the miles that Simone fretted over so much. "We're on our own, Finn," she said. "Looks like Simon can't help us anymore." Rising, Finn said, "he helped us enough. I'm... glad he's at peace. We can drag this thing across the finish line." Moving to his gear, the big man scraped together food. "Running out," Betty asked? Finn nodded. They would have to get back to the truck soon.

"One more day," asked Betty? She wanted to hit the Trophy Hall and see what they could find. Every scrap of information they got was a step closer. "Water's low," Finn replied. "We'd have to be careful..." "If we're careful and we boil it, the ice I pull out of the air will work," Betty replied. "Ok," said Finn. "Stove is ready. Let's try it..." He was an impulsive bastard, though much of that was his handicap. She'd have to learn to deal with that. Still, Betty was game. Grabbing an empty pot, she conjured up ice, starting small.

Finn put it on to boil for a while and got busy making up food. Betty was left rolling up her sleeping gear. As she worked at it, she found herself analyzing that ugly dream. Theo, or whatever his true name was, had touched her buttons. The dream was so vivid, she thought she could still smell the sickly sweet scent of decay. Ironically, it was Finn and Simon who had sort of inoculated her against that ugly dream. By making her face her failings and forgiving her human frailties, the two men had taken most of the sting out of Theo's ugly rhetoric. Simon loved her, and Finn had, more or less, forgiven her. She still felt the guilt, but it wasn't all-consuming. But there _was_ a vulnerable soul here.

"Finn," Betty called. The big man looked up at her, looking exhausted. Taking a deep breath, she said, "I'm guilty of being a self-righteous prig... I do understand where you're coming from, Finn. It's the curse of fame. Back in my time, a lot of famous men went through this." He frowned back at her. Laughing, she said, "there was a wildman in my time. His name was Evel Knievel..." "Nice name," Finn replied. Chuckling, Betty agreed. "He did wild stunts like you... jumping motorcycles over canyons and rivers," she explained. "Like you, he had a wife who adored him and a son who wanted to follow in his footsteps." Finn flushed at the reminder.

"I watched an interview he did," said Betty, "where he talked about all the women who came on to him after his most dangerous stunts..." Finn goggled at her. Blushing a little, Betty told her guardian, "he sinned sometimes, but I can't imagine a man presented with all those chances _not_ cheating. It's not fair to pretend that it's always the guy's fault." His face was red hot, but Betty thought he was thinking about it. "Sit down, hero," she said. "Let your mean old mother-in-law fix you breakfast..." Grinning and blushing, Finn did just that.

Breakfast was almost _normal_ compared to the angst and anger of the last few days. The two unlikely partners talked–really talked–and planned. On Betty's side, she began to see what Simon saw in this man. He was far more intelligent than he let others see–almost as if he was trying to protect a secret. As talented as he was, Finn Mertens could have conquered the world. Much like her late husband, he was a kind man who really didn't want to be bothered. _Just like always,_ she thought, _it's hacks like_ me _who want to conquer. He just wants to raise good kids._

For his part, Finn began to realize that far from being some caricature of Betty, Simone was distilled out of Simon's memories of Betty's best attributes. She _was_ brilliantly intelligent. She _was_ doggedly determined. And Finn could see traces of Simone's compassion in unguarded moments. Betty was even graceful like Simone. "Hey," Betty teased. "Don't think I'm gonna' add myself to the pile, Finn." Finn laughed. No, he thought that was a little too far for both of them. Said he, "just thinking of Simone." Blushing a little, he admitted, "I... see parts of her in you." Brushing back her hair as a way of breaking eye contact, she said, "maybe we will survive this, Finn. I... honestly... I've got hope again." Glancing up, she added, "now that we know there really _is_ an afterlife, I'm... I guess I look forward to living my life and seeing Simon and Simone again." "Ch'yeah, man," said Finn.

After breakfast, the two made their way back to the Trophy Hall. As they walked, Betty poured over the map, sifting for clues in what their madman had written there. "I'm thinking some of it may be related to his plans," Betty said. "Maybe things he acquired to help him." Nodding, Finn said, "then it'll be guarded. I think we should be prepared for trouble." "You're not wrong there, kiddo," she agreed. "And maybe, just maybe, we'll unravel a weakness or something."

The pair entered the Trophy Hall to find it just as dark as when they had left it. That was going to make things a lot tougher. They had no real way of knowing what was in each of the treasure caches inside the Hall. It could have been more Nega-Wraiths. It could have been Goo-Bros. It could even have been Dipped. Here in the dark, with limited light sources, they were at severe risk of having something come creeping up on them by stealth, taking them by surprise. "And that'll be fatal in here," Betty murmured. Frowning, Finn thought about that a long, long while. Finally, he came up with a strategy to help them–something Betty would never have considered before this.

"This'll take a bit of doing," said Finn. "It'll probably eat a fair amount of our day here..." "Go on," she said. Smiling that smile of his, the big man said, "we've got everything we need to light this place up, Simo... uh Betty. Or rather _you_ do." Ignoring the slip, Betty said, "ok. Out with it. What're you thinking?" "You know how to make light-globes, right," asked Finn? Emeraude had once told him it was the earliest spell an apprentice wizard was taught. It was, strangely enough, one of the more difficult spells to weave. If you could manage to do it, you could learn most anything after that. It was, ironically, the thing that made her give up on teaching Finn. His mind wouldn't focus long enough to complete it.

Betty admitted that she did know that spell. "But it would knock me on my ass if I tried to make enough globes to fill this space," she said. "Don't need you to fill the space," said Finn. Pointing at the ceiling, he asked a question, "why do lamps have lamp-shades?" His adoptive mother had taught him the answer to that question a long, long time ago. "To diffuse the light to better fill the room," Betty replied. Everyone knew that. "Wait," she gobbled. "Did you just...?" Staring up into the darkness, she said, "it would have to be the biggest friggin' lamp-shade ever, buddy. And one hell of a lightbulb..." Finn chuckled and said, "it's still gonna' knock you on your ass, Bets, but it'll work a lot better. Oh, and we don't need to fill the entire space..." "...just enough to give us some breathing room," she finished. "Right." He was fucking amazing.

He was also exhausted. She could see it. His mind was working, but his body was at the end of its rope. "Finn," she said. "I... Uh... you need to sleep." The big man frowned at her. Betty knew what was going through his mind. Twin demons had their claws set in him. He was the man. He had to protect her, even if he hated her guts. A guy wasn't supposed to let the woman down. Especially, when said guy had sworn to that woman's husband as he lay dieing that said woman would be taken care of. At the same time, even if he neglected that, _Theo_ was waiting for him too. Having gotten his mitts on Simon, he wanted Finn now too. And Finn had a burden of guilt on him from all the ugly things that had gotten said between he and Simone over the last year.

Betty wasn't sure how to get him to open up and talk about his troubles. She wasn't sure she would have been a very good confidant anyway. She'd been programmed to automatically excoriate any man who so much as looked crosswise at another woman. It was _reflexive_ with her. How was _that_ going to help? He needed someone to talk to. Unfortunately, Simon would have been the best candidate. He didn't have a dog in the fight, and he _was_ Finn's best friend in the world. "I gotta' gather strength," she lied. "It'll take me a little while to gather the strength to build the diffuser, and I should probably see how tall the ceiling actually is. I'll build us some shelter. Off in a corner. We'll be safe, while you sleep, ok?" Reluctantly, Finn nodded.

Taking his hand, she led him across to the handiest wall. There, between a pair of giant statues that looked to have been stolen from some museum somewhere, she constructed a roughly square room with ice for two of the walls and the ceiling. At her direction, Finn got out his unused bedroll and rolled it out. Then, shedding his weapons, he lay himself down under Betty's watchful eye.

Sleep didn't come quickly or easily to the big man. Keyed-up as he was, he lay there a long, long while. Betty had been that way herself when her dad died, and she sympathized with what he was feeling. Watching him struggle between sleep and the raw emotion that kept him awake, she wished she had some sleeping pills to give him. Ultimately, it was a battle _he_ had to win. She wasn't built or equipped to help him. Instead, Betty busied herself with the job of reading through the Lich's journals, doing what she could to decipher what he was saying. It was slow going when she had the madness-gap to get through on top of the language gap.

There was a common thread, though. He talked vividly of fire and burning. He talked of feeling his skin on fire with a thousand tingly pin-pricks. And he talked of _waking in death_. The words he used brought to mind descriptions she'd heard of men who'd suffered lethal doses of radiation, suggesting maybe he'd been at ground-zero during the destruction of the cities in the last war. Maybe he'd been killed by a nuclear bomb, like the Nega-Wraiths, and maybe he'd been _fortunate_ , if you could call it that, to somehow survive in some strange form of life afterwards. All told, though, it was a puzzle–one Betty was struggling with.

When the puzzle got too deep, and she found herself back-tracking again and again, the fierce feminist put down the book in favor of getting on with the other piece of her job here. They needed a diffuser. They needed something to take the concentrated light from one of her globes, and disseminate it across the widest possible area. With the idea put in front of her by its unlikely progenitor, Betty got down to business figuring out how to make it work. Scribbling notes and thoughts in her own journal, Betty thought of all the wonderful medicines that they'd had in her time. Finn and his daughter could both have benefitted from some mild ADHD treatments. She could only imagine the man he _could_ be if he could control his little problem better.

It was strange, but she could see how women so easily fell in love with him. She understood why it was that a genius like Bonnibel Bubblegum had chosen him as the father of her children. If she were at all honest with herself, he was good with kids–maybe better than she was. Unlike her father, he didn't get so caught up in being a provider than he forgot to be a nurturer as well. Setting aside the books, she glanced over to make sure he was asleep. His eyes were shut, and soft snores coming from his lips told her that he'd finally made it into dreamland. "Happy dreams, Finn," she sighed. She wasn't sure how long Theo would hassle them. She hoped he didn't make a lifetime habit of it like he had with Simon. _Too bad there's nobody to appeal to,_ she thought.

Rising, she melted an opening big enough to crawl through and slipped out into the wider space of the Door Lord's forgotten museum. Crouched there before the opening, clutching one of their torches, she focused her thoughts on a point four feet up, focusing zero-point energy into it. A brilliant ball of blue-white light exploded into being. Now Betty began to move it around, searching the space above her and finding that there were tiers to the structure, stretching up and up. The beautiful, mature lady focused her will, causing the mote of order to float upwards in the sea of entropy that was the universe. Thirty feet up. Forty feet up. Fifty feet up. There were still more tiers, and that actually helped her read the map better. There were annotations to the map that hadn't made sense until that moment. Sixty feet up and she found herself threading the light between floating platforms made of the same stone as the rest of the place. It was only when the light was a good hundred feet from the floor that she finally found the ceiling.

Coming back inside, she found Finn moaning and thrashing in his sleep. Sitting there crouched before the entry, she found herself wondering. Was Theo attacking him? With a sigh, she crawled into their shelter and rebuilt the plug blocking the door. Crawling to his side, she knelt there watching him. It was clear from the anguished expression on his handsome face that he was having a nightmare. Her hand brushed his cheek in pity. She couldn't help him fight this fight. Only he could fight it. Moving back to her own bed, she got a blanket, and threw it over him.

Done with that, she moved back to her spot, put her back against the wall, and got to work. The Door Lord's lair was cold. Without his will to animate it, it was actually somewhat frigid, and her ice could last for long periods with no effort at all on her part to maintain it. On top of that, ice itself could be self-sustaining when there was enough of it. That was the whole key to their madman's plan. _That's something else we need to think about,_ thought Betty, as she wove the energy flows. _How much of his plans came from observations like that? If we know his background, that will help us guess his next move._

Relaxed and no longer paralyzed by guilt and remorse, Betty found herself thinking again. As she wove flows to suck the energy out of the air high above them, channeling it into the _stone_ of the hall, she thought of the reasons why he would have come here to this place. _Did he come here to study,_ she thought? Finn's discovery of the books the Lich had been reading suggested maybe he had. She could imagine him wandering the local area, meditating on ideas for destroying the remnants of humanity, and that suggested that there _must_ be something here.

She was halfway through making the diffuser when the big man woke up from his awful slumber with a shout. He was sweating, in spite of the chill of their shelter, and his expression told her about how he was feeling. "Bad," she asked? "Yeah," he said. As he rubbed at his eyes, she impulsively said, "tell me..." Finn glanced up, and his face went hot. "I'm not in any place to judge you, Finn," she laughed. "I wanted to fuck my daughter's husband, remember?" Finn flushed to his hair. "It was... Simone," he sighed. "Only her face was half-gone, and the Lich was underneath..." Which in itself was already pretty horrifying. He'd been through this once already. "And what did she want," Betty asked?

"She wanted me to kill you, Bonnie, and Marceline," Finn said. "She accused me of... cheating on her with everybody from Peebles to Fionna, and she kept on saying I should clean house to pay for it." "Bold bastard," muttered Betty, as she sat there staring thoughtfully at the floor. Glancing up, she asked, "did you?" Finn frowned at her. "The one thing that's helped me get by," said Betty, "was that I pretty much admitted all the stuff I was doing, Finn. I... think it's time you came clean. Did you molest your daughters?"

"No," Finn replied. "Never." The idea disgusted him. "Not even Shoko," Betty asked? "I could tell that girl had kind of a crush on you, and you didn't know..." Flushing to his hair, Finn said, "it didn't matter. I... Shoko was always my kid. I always looked at her like she was, even when..." Betty nodded. He'd been more a father to the Royal Babies than Bonnie had been a mother. She'd witnessed a lot of that herself. Still, she could see in his eyes that he hadn't told her everything. "I almost feel like we need to go out and come back in," she said, "because you're holding something back..."

His face went redder if anything. Then, haltingly, he said, "it wasn't just Phoebe." "What wasn't," she asked? Taking a deep breath, Finn began the story. He told it just like it happened. How he'd gotten into the habit of drinking. How that had led into his rekindling things with Bonnie. He told of how Marceline had come to him the night of the Knife Storm, which led into Phoebe's decision to make a play of her own. In the end, she found herself staring with her mouth hanging halfway to her knees. "I don't see how you're not _dead_ ," said Betty. "You've been burning the candle at both ends and the middle besides."

"So now you know what kind of asshole I am," rumbled the big man. Shaking her head, Betty said, "if I hadn't barged into your house, there would be no Marceline and no Phoebe. Hell, if I'd just left you and Simone the fuck alone, the three of you would be doing just what you've always done... Just taking care of your kids and living your lives. I can't put you in hell, Finn, because, believe it or not, I feel sorry for you. I feel sorry that we women can't help wanting what we don't have. I... it's crazy, kiddo, but Simon got more offers when he had me on his arm than when he was all by himself. Maybe... Maybe it's something hormonal. I don't know. Maybe we smell another girl on a guy, and we just want to attack. When we add in who you are... Shit, it's amazing you've managed to keep it in your pants for the last twenty years. I mean, shit, the fourteen-year-old! Jeezus!"

Slouching just a little, Betty said, "you're a good man, Finn Mertens. Better than I've ever been. A lot of men would have banged the shit out of that kid and driven out of town. Hell, it's crazy that she's even still interested twenty years later! And those three bitches! Jeez, man! Simone told me about how they pissed on you when you were younger. _Now_ they want to start something?!" Betty shook her head in disgust. "The crazy part is... I-I still love them," he sighed. "I can't help it." Rising, Betty decided to change the subject. He had started getting his head together, and that was enough. She said, "I'm halfway through making the diffuser. I think we'll be able to start tomorrow. Right now... Let's have dinner and dig through the journals."

The pair did just that, digging through the dead Russian's crazy ramblings using Betty's babelfish spell. Betty found herself laughing as the chased one rambling thread of thought around and around and around. "There was a saying from my time," she announced. "Crazy Ivan. There was a cliché that all Russians were nuts, just you had to wait to see it come out of some..." Finn nodded thoughtfully. Betty had come to know that look. He was moments from one of those crazy deep thoughts that seemed to lurk inside that semi-impenetrable thick skull of his. "Out with it, Finn," she said. "Just spit it out, so I can try to puzzle at what you're thinking." Blushing, he looked up and said, "it's almost like he's two people..."

Betty goggled at him. She'd been teasing about that. She'd been joking that she would have to puzzle out what he was saying. Now she turned and started tearing through the book in her lap. Silence reigned once more as she started scribbling notes frantically. "Motherfucker," she muttered. "Dammit! You don't have the science, so how is it you saw that, and I didn't?!" She tapped on her skull as if furious at herself for not seeing what he'd seen. Finn watched her off and on, while he continued to work his way through the journal in his lap. Finally, she put the journal aside and said, "yeah, Finn. I'm an idiot. I totally missed that. He's talking about killing someone, and that someone's inside his skull. He's totally got the whole multiple personality thing going." Stretching and yawning, Betty said, "you're pretty sharp for a dumb guy." Finn gave her a smile. It was late, though, and they still had a little more time in here. It was time they were getting some sleep.

Setting the journals aside, the pair dialed down the lamps and crawled into their respective beds, bundling up against the cold air. Finn had feared he would toss and turn for hours as he had earlier. Maybe that little bit of sleep had broken the log-jam. Maybe it was something else. It didn't take long at all this time before he was comatose. Betty lay awake a little longer, puzzling at why their foe seemed to be so incoherent in the journals and so focused and directed _now_. In the end, though, sleep took her as well.

The hours rolled by with the pair descending deeper into sleep, their bodies relaxing, and REM state coming on. Finn found himself standing in a familiar place–the high-mountain vale where Billy had met his end. Uneasily, he looked around him. This had the feel of a trap. He'd turned the place into kind of a memorial to his predecessor. It had taken a lot of work, and he'd roped Jake into helping him. With Simone's permission, he'd spent the money and popped for a big, elaborate statue of the man himself. He'd borrowed Banana Man's truck to haul the statue up to the cave, and he and Jake had wrestled it into place. Then they'd had a big memorial service with Canyon and a couple of the princesses. But that had been twenty years ago.

As if on cue, a voice announced trouble. "I see now how right you were," Emeraude snapped! "It's not the wish spell. It's _you_!" Finn knew he was dreaming. He knew that just as he knew he wasn't really talking to his wife. He was talking to Death. Death was on his back again, and it felt like he'd barely gotten to sleep. "You're a cheat, Finn Mertens," growled the wood nymph. "Just like every other man I ever met, you're a fake and a cheat. You don't love me or anybody else. You just wanted to dip it without getting into trouble, and we were dumb enough to let you." Suddenly, they were in the ice cave–Billy's old lair. Finn hadn't been inside since he almost froze to death there.

"We should have fucking left you in this cave," Emeraude snarled! "I can't believe I was cryin' my eyes out for you. First chance you got, you fucked around with one of your old bitchy girlfriends. You fucked 'em all! I bet you were happy when that cunt came onto you! Did you enjoy fucking Cherry, Finn? 'Cause she broke up our family! You _let_ her." The accusations flew fast and furious, with the wood nymph suggesting that he'd been banging other women all along. Cherry was just the excuse he needed to try and bring it out into the open. Those words had him close to tears, not least because he had been so tempted. He'd been tempted with Nadia the night she'd come on to him, and he'd been tempted in turn by Phoebe and then Bonnie and E when they were dealing with his dad.

He'd been tempted to get out of pocket with Lollipop. He'd remembered her in that swimsuit and the kiss she gave him. The suggestion that she was ready, willing, and able to 'reward' him for all he did was something that hit right at his ego. He was a dude. Dude's liked to hear that stuff. He felt _guilty_. He'd let himself go. He'd let his anger win, and, though he knew who he was really dealing with, he found himself apologizing. "I'm sorry," he breathed, "but you have no idea what it's like..." And that's when Simone jumped in. Looking like she'd been dead for the last twenty years, Simone laid into him, giving him a very ugly tongue-lashing. The accusations came back. What had he been doing in Fionna's room that one time when he said he was looking in on her? Did he touch Star? Did he touch Shoko? How many more bastard kids were there out there? Did Bonnie and Marceline really use artificial means, or had he been screwing around with them back then?

They got in his face, and when Simone grabbed his arm, it began to rot away. "That's what you deserve," she howled! "You should be fucking laying in that bed, still! That's where you belong! Stuck between life and death as punishment! You don't love! You use, just like every other man out there!" "You didn't lift a finger to stop Betty from dragging us away," shouted Emeraude! "I bet you were happy she took us! You were in it with her! Did you really hate Betty, Finn?! Huh?! Or was this all a scheme!"

The scream woke Finn from the ugly dream. He sat bolt upright to find Betty sitting there in her blankets, sweating and looking like she'd run a marathon. Betty clutched at the front of her sweater, huffing and puffing in terror. As her heart stopped racing, her eyes locked with Finn's. The big man looked just as horrified as she was. He'd been at them both at once! Betty saw red. That was the limit. It was time to show him that no matter what he said or did, they were not going to give up their lives to him. He wasn't going to win. Rising, she went to Finn's side. "Bad," she asked? "Worst yet," he admitted. Both his wives had been screaming at him about his actions, demanding that he kill himself. "He's not going to stop," muttered Betty. "He's not going to leave us alone until we _make_ him."

Finn frowned at her. How were they going to make Death let go? Grabbing him by the hair, Betty Petrikov planted a hot kiss on his lips, stunning him to his shoes. Reaching down, she grabbed the bottom of her sweater and pulled it over her head, baring the awesome boobies that had inspired Simone's. Finn goggled at them. "Are you watching, _Theo_ ," she muttered, as she grabbed Finn's hands and put them on her knockers?

The moment was the kind of crazy that defined Finn's life. This woman that had seemingly hated him since the first he'd really met her had her hand on his dick, rubbing it and getting him hard, and she had her tongue jammed halfway to his throat. Only a statue could have remained soft under that attack. Finn threw the older woman over on her back, and Betty immediately popped the button on her jeans. As she raised her butt, Finn pulled the rough denim down off her big, round ass and broad hips, revealing dowdy blue mom-undies. Not that it stopped him from going after her box.

He knew what Simone liked, and he had the distinct feeling that Betty would be little different. Pulling aside the crotch of her panties, Finn wrapped his lips around her button and sucked on it almost painfully hard. Betty shrieked, her fingers grabbing at his hair and pulling hard enough to hurt. Her hips jumped, and Finn pushed her butt back to the floor again. "Ooooooh," howled Betty. She sounded like she was in pain as he went down on her. A corner of his mind wondered if their enemy was watching. He had to watch them sometimes. How else did he know all that suff?

Betty pulled the heavy sports-bra up over her big knobs and started licking and biting at them herself in a display that was eerily reminiscent of Simone. The similarities were so creepy it almost made Finn stop what he was doing. Instead, he refocused his mind on what he was doing. Sliding a finger into her hot snatch, Finn gave her hot-button another hard suck as he eased that finger in and out. "Motherfucker," howled Betty, as her hips smacked him in the chin. As she lay there panting, Finn climbed up over her, fumbling after his pecker. He wasn't sure about this, but he thought Betty was right. Theo wasn't going to stop bugging them until they were at each other's throats, and he wasn't ready to kill Simone's mom yet.

Betty squealed and grabbed his shoulder when she felt him ease that big dong into her snatch. Her back arched, and she shouted, "oh-god, oh-god, oh-god..." The big man took his time, keeping his mind off of things down south by stroking those heavy knobs of hers. They weren't as firm as Simone's, being sort of jiggly like Bonnie's. Each time he thrust, those big globes wobbled and jiggled like waves on the ocean. When Betty was a little calmer, he captured her plump lips, making her taste her own girl-juice. It was far more kinky than Simon would ever have given her. Betty wrapped her long, firm legs around his waist, howling, "more. Do it more!"

Faster and faster Finn stroked her, driving his thickness in and out like a speeding freight train. Much like Simone, Betty bit and clawed at him, finding the numerous scars her daughter had left there on his back and shoulders, and a twisted part of his mind thought of comparing notes with Simon to see which of the pair was crazier in the sack. That insane thought–comparing Betty to Simone, mom to daughter–like he'd fantasized about twenty years ago sent the hero over the edge. With a guttural shout, he shot his load causing Betty to clamp down on his shoulder with her very sharp teeth.

As the pair lay tangled, their adversary was throwing in the towel. Theo turned off the Soul-Mirror in a fit of abject disgust, causing his friend to howl, "c'mon, man! That was just getting good!" Theo very nearly threw the remote at the mirror. How in the hell had that just happened?! That was three in a row! First that fucking gangster jerked him. Now this bitch pulls this! He'd been certain those two _hated_ each other. He'd been simply _delighted_ when they went off alone together with nobody to come to their rescue. What better chance to destroy his nemesis?

Sitting back, Hunson burped obnoxiously. "I told you, so," he said. "Finn just ain't that kinda' guy. I mean, ain't a lot o'dudes can resist the Amulet of the Night-O-Sphere..." "Dammit," growled Theo. They were unraveling the grand plan. He would have to push his creation to the limit to have a chance at gaining _something_ out of all this. Rising, Death headed for the door, bound for his office. Hunson rolled his eyes in disgust. Theo was no fun to talk to when he was like this. The Lord of Darkness got up, conjured a portal, and headed out, bound for the Night-O-Sphere.

Back in the Door Lord's sanctum, Finn kept Betty entertained for the better part of an hour before the two finally quit, slumping onto Finn's bedroll in exhaustion. Laying sprawled there in a tangled mess of limbs, they actually found themselves enjoying the cool air. They were a little overheated at the moment. "Wow," sighed Finn as his fingers glided along the small of her back. That had been crazy.

 _Yeah,_ Betty thought. _'Wow' is right. I see how you keep 'em coming back._ Grinning at him, she said, "I think we might be able to get a little sleep now..." Blushing, Finn nodded. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled the covers up over the both of them. After days of exertion grinding their way along and the ugliness of losing their partners, both were at their limits. It didn't take long at all before they were both descending into dreamland. Betty found herself in the comfortable environs of her home. She was sitting on their couch just as though it were any other day. There was a fire in the fireplace, suggesting that Simon or Patrick had remembered to chop the wood, and she was sipping tea.

"I think this suits you best, princess," said Simon. Startled, the beautiful woman glanced up to find herself looking her husband in the eyes. She was a little surprised by that. "What," she snarled? "You didn't get the message? Finn's a good man, and I'd rather be with him than your distorted image of my husband, you crazy fucker." And she jumped up and punched him square in the jaw. " _Ow_ ," howled Simon! "Gee, thanks!" "Simon," gobbled Betty? Clutching his jaw, her husband moaned, "yeah. I didn't think that was possible. That really hurt, princess." Betty broke down, shouting, "we thought he got you! Where have you been?!" "Hiding, princess," replied Simon. "Hiding. He was getting close, and I had to lay low. Now I wonder if he wasn't just tryin'a to scare me off."

Betty half-cried and half giggled. Grabbing him, she planted a kiss on his lips. "Well, that's better," said Simon. "Thanks, princess." Betty gave him a sheepish smile. Then, as she realized that he might have seen what she did to chase Death away, happiness turned to horror. "Something wrong, princess," Simon asked? "Aren't you angry," she asked? "About what," asked Simon? Frowning, she retorted, "you know!" With a shrug, Simon said, "I asked Finn to look after you, Betty. Why would I get mad?" "I-I fucked your best friend," Betty howled! Simon laughed, "yeah, well maybe you'll be satisfied for a change..." Betty sputtered and spluttered incoherently as Simon said, "used to tell the guys in the band that you were a nympho. It was fun at first, but I couldn't keep up..." Betty's face was red hot now. Smiling gently, Simon said, "you can't cheat on a dead man, princess. In spite of all the temptations, you never cheated on me. A lot of girls with the itch like you've got it would have dumped me years ago."

In a small voice, Betty asked, "are you sure?" "Princess, stop beating yourself up," Simon said. " _Theo_ wants that. I want you to _live_. I had a nice long life. In the end, I even got you back. I got no regrets." Betty kissed his cheek. Stepping back, she said, "we found the journals. We're gonna' tear through Trophy Hall tomorrow and see what else we can find. Finn thinks Nadia or Bonnie can maybe build something to read those old tapes." "Great, princess," Simon replied! "That's wonderful! Don't take too much longer in here. Things are getting out of hand outside." "Ok, babe," she said. "I will." Before he left her, Simon said, "I want you to remember, princess. I'll always love you. I'll always be watching." "And I'll always love and remember you, babe," sniffed Betty. And then he was gone.

Betty woke up to find Finn watching her. "You were talking in your sleep," he said. Blushing, she said, "Simon. He's... Theo didn't get him. He's still here." Finn sat up, baring that hard, beautiful body. "He's ok with it, Finn," Betty laughed, "and it seems to have worked. Anyways... Let's get going. Simon said we shouldn't hang out here too much longer." "Right," murmured Finn.

Exiting their shelter, the pair looked around them. They were alone. There were no enemies facing them. At the moment. Taking Finn's hand, Betty pointed upwards at her handiwork. Finn goggled at the giant sphere that reflected the light of their torches from above. "I thought about it," Betty said. "I think it's time to sacrifice one of the torches. I... Even with the diffuser, I can't maintain the light long enough for us to search the whole room, and I'm a little concerned about what Simon said." "Right," sighed Finn, as he handed over his torch. "Let's get this done." Betty focused her mind on the torch and sent it floating high into the air. Up and up the torch flew until at last it drifted through a hole in the center of the massive ice-globe above them.

Betty had been rather diligent in doing her design, testing and rebuilding the diffuser over and over while Finn slept the previous day. Now, as the torch rose to just the right height within the diffuser, the ice-lamp came to life with a brilliant kaleidoscope of color that filled a fair amount of the Trophy Hall. They found themselves looking at things they had brushed against or only guessed at as they did their initial, limited exploration. The two statues they had anchored their shelter against were enormous, stretching fifty feet into the air and looking altogether _sinister_ in the light of their lamp. On the ground, they found old cars that Betty imagined must have come from some flattened Russian city. _Ladas,_ she thought, as she brushed her fingers across the nearest. Other items scattered on the floor included an old diving suit, a full-sized Russian dacha, and even a stuffed bear. It was quite the eclectic collection.

"Finn," Betty said, "I think I know where our first goal is." Pointing, she said, "that car over there. I think that's one of the spots on the map. How much would you bet me that there's something in the trunk?" "Dinner and a movie," replied Finn. "You're on," chuckled Betty. The two raced across the room to the half-rusted hulk that had once been someone's dream-mobile. "Must've belonged to a girl," Finn opined, as he pointed to the emblem on the rear. Betty laughed, "that was the name of the builder, Finn. The man who built it named his company Mercedes after one of his female relatives." Finn blushed. Tousling his hair, she said, "it was long before you were born, sweetie. You couldn't have known that."

Betty opened the trunk by the simple expedient of smashing the corroded lock with a blast-bolt. The lock came open, and a flowing tide of darkness oozed out. Finn shoved Betty aside and slashed his sword through the Nega-Wraith, destroying the undead remnant of a long-dead Russian. "Thanks," Betty gasped. "No prob, Bob," said Finn, as he stepped up to the trunk. "Nothing," he said. There was nothing there. "W-was it a trap," Betty stammered? They'd expected there to be traps. She wouldn't have guessed they'd hit one so soon. "Maybe," said Finn, as he moved around to the driver's door. Smashing the window, he reached in–Betty almost slapped him for that–and wrenched the door open. Reaching under the seat, he came up with a key.

"Not for the car," said Betty. "I think that's what he hid." "Pro'lly figured somebody'd look in the trunk right off," said Finn. Betty blushed, then stroking his broad shoulder, she said, "I guess Betty buys dinner." Taking her hand, Finn gave it a squeeze. New-Betty was starting to grow on him. The pair moved on. The key belonged to a lock. They just had to find it.

Working their way through the odd bits of junk and possessions the Door Lord had left, the pair found another stash of tapes in an old trunk. They found an old cellphone in the base of a stone sculpture. They found a plastic badge under a park bench. That last was of particular interest to Betty. It looked strangely familiar. She'd seen something like it once before. Moving on, they came back to the two strangest objects in that whole museum–the diving suit and the dacha. "I thought Door Lords could only steal what they could carry," Betty murmured. Finn said, "maybe. I don't think we've ever seen enough of them to really know what they can't do." He was all for going inside the cottage.

"I don't like this," said Betty. "I... There could be goo mutants inside. Or more wraiths." "You got a point there," said Finn. Fishing out some rope, he tied it off to the door handle. Then the pair moved back from the door. Readying a blast-bolt, Betty nodded for Finn to pull the door open. Giving a powerful tug on the door, the big man was astonished to find that the door barely budged at all. "Heavy," he said. "Hmm," said Betty. "Maybe it's stuck." "It's open a little. I can try peaking in," said Finn. "Honey, can you bring up one of those forcefield discs at will," Betty asked? "Yeah," said Finn. "We'll go with your plan," she said. "I don't think it's wraiths in there, but it could be something solid. Why don't you put one of your discs against the door before you look in?"

Finn conjured a defense-disc against the opening to the cottage. Then, stepping up to the entry, he peered inside. "Weird," he said. "There's... There's light inside, but I can't see where it's coming from..." Frowning, Betty followed him up to the doorway. Peering past his shoulder, Betty gave the room beyond a good looking over. The walls were covered in strange greyish metal plates, and there was a single object laying on the floor. It was a watch, and that was the source of the light. "Shut it," she shouted! "W-what," Finn stammered? "Shut it _now_ ," Betty shouted! Finn threw his shoulder against the door and forced it shut. "Ok," he puffed. "What was it?" "A radioactive watch," said Betty. " _His_ watch. I think we just learned something, Finn." The watch had been hot enough to fry an egg. The Lich had indeed died in some kind of nuclear tragedy.

Stepping back, Betty glanced at their surroundings. Why would an old dacha have lead walls? "The Door Lord collected our Lich, Finn," she said. "This was once his prison." Finn's face snapped over. Nodding, Betty said, "like some of the people of my time used to collect wild animals and try to keep them as pets..." "Probably didn't end well for him," Finn agreed. Holding up the badge, Betty said, "he was a technician. He worked with nuclear materials. I don't think the _bombs_ killed him. Not directly." Striding across to the diving suit, she said, "this is a technician's suit. For working under water. Maybe he worked at a power plant." Moving on, Finn said, "there's three places left. Do we want to open the suit? See what's inside?" Betty spent a while thinking about that. "It was important enough to him that he put it on the map," she said. "We probably better."

Suiting action to words, Betty reached out and unfastened the latches. Before Finn could warn her off of that, she had the helmet off the suit. That was when the goo-bro hidden inside smacked her across the face, flattening her. Finn rushed forward, swinging his fabled blade. As a dazed Betty Petrikov sat up, Finn removed the evil creature's head in one blow. "Trap," muttered Finn, as he pulled Betty back to her feet. He insisted on giving her a thorough looking over. "He was wearing gloves," chuckled Betty. "I guess I'm getting off with a bruise and some wounded pride." Finn hugged her, which made the awkward moment a little more awkward. Clearing her throat, Betty said, "we still need to hit the floating platforms. How about lunch?"

 **Apologies for the delay and shorter updates. Work has been in the way the last few weeks. Next time, Baba Yaga...  
**


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44:

"You've got _days_ , Bonnie," sighed Cherry. "We made a mess of things, but you've got just _days_ before they get here. Not even Fionna can kill that many men fast enough to matter." Fionna Mertens blushed to her hair. It was flattering in a backhandy kind of way. At the same time, her dad's annoying girlfriend had a point. They had been dealing with packs of raiders in the hundreds. A few hundred here. Four-or-five hundred there. Cherry was talking about _thousands_. The low estimate was five thousand or so coming _here_. And she was saddled with Ernie. Nut Job had been all up her ass the last week or so, and she wanted to belt him. More to the point, he was unraveling a lot of the precautions she'd taken to defend the forcefield machines.

Rising, the pink terror said, "I need to think..." And she shooed the pack of them out. _What to do, what to do,_ she thought? She'd known going in that they wouldn't resolve this overnight. The Lich had too much power, and, more importantly, he had backing. "You're worried," announced Phoebe. "Don't be." Bonnie spun about to find her rival and best frenemy standing near. "Bonnie, we've been planning for this for twenty years," said the Flame King. Striding across the room, the elemental woman took the bubblegum princess's hands in hers. "We can stop them," she said. But they risked blowing up the Princess Privy Council. When Bonnibel expressed that concern, Phoebe replied, "I'd gladly wreck the council of cunts to save the world, Bonnie. That _is_ what this is about..."

"Ok," sighed Bonnie. "I better let Nadia know we need her help. Again." It would take most every airship the grid-face people had to move her secret weapon. They didn't have much time and fewer options. Phoebe sighed heavily. "What," asked the pink princess? With a shrug, the elemental murmured, "now we have nobody to find Finn..." The Princess of the Candy Kingdom would be needed _here_. Bonnie smirked. She had an answer for that.

Elsewhen, Finn and Betty wrapped up a long morning of searching through the Lich's treasure trove by sitting down to a little celebratory lunch. Betty did the honors, cooking up a savory dish of stir-fried steak and vegetables. After all the exertion, the big man's stomach was happy to have food to occupy it, but Finn was a little disconcerted when Betty chose to sit down next to him instead of separately. It was a supremely awkward moment on a number of levels. They had sort of buried the hatchet, but he wasn't sure he would have called them friends. At the same time, they'd spent a wild 'night' rolling around in the sack. It had been kind of a crazy way to make Theo fuck off and stop hassling them, but he couldn't deny there were other things there too. If Betty had been hiding an attraction to him, the opposite was true too–and had been since he first realized Betty was Simon's inspiration for the Ice Queen.

"Got a lot done today," Betty opined. She honestly sounded _cheerful_. She was also _touchy_ –a lot like Simone after the Ice Tiara was out of their lives. Betty seemed to be constantly touching him and getting in his space. He wished she would quit it. He was torn right now. There was peace between them, and they were starting to work together. At the same time, he deeply missed Simone and having this living reminder at his side every minute really sucked. Out of the blue, Betty asked, "have you... seen anything of Simone or Emeraude?" "No," murmured Finn. He almost imagined the Lich hand-delivering them to Theo's quarry. Betty snorted, "Simone was a _saint_ , Finn. She was a chip off the block and more Simon than me. She's probably in heaven right now."

Blushing and grinning, Betty said, "I guess I'll be chasing rocks for a couple centuries or something." Frowning, Finn asked, "why?" No longer so merry, Betty told him, "I'm not the person Simone or even Simon thought I was... I... was an abusive bitch to Simon. Worse than that, I let the stuff my parents were doing to each other affect how I treated my dad. You were right, Finn... He was alone, and I spit in his face. Worse than that... half of what I did to Simon was a reflection of how my mom treated my dad. I'm... just glad that she didn't have a chance to learn from me. I'd rather have her be dead than be what I am..." That last came out as a half-strangled sob.

It happened just that quick. One minute she was talking and in a jovial mood. The next she was bawling her eyes out, and Finn felt two inches tall. No, if Betty seemed _better_ –like she was _handling_ things–it was an illusion. She was still a mess. Seeing Simon was helping her cope and keeping her from freezing up, but she was desperately in need of someone to talk to. Betty got up and would have wandered off. Finn got up and stopped her by grabbing her arm. Drawing her into his arms, he let her cry on him. "You're a saint too," she sniffed. Finn gave her a look of complete puzzlement. Half-laughing and half-crying, she asked, "why would you stand there and let someone who took so much from you cry on your shoulder?" Finn shrugged. There were moments he hated this, but it was futile to complain. This was his life. He'd made his peace with it.

Sniffing and whining, Betty told him, "I don't think I can do this, Finn. I'm... I feel like I'm drowning... Help me. Please help me." "You're not alone, Bets," Finn replied. "I'm not doing so great, either." He was struggling. He struggled every day. Stepping back, he looked her straight in the eyes and said, "when I see you, I see the _strength_ Simone had. You're gonna' be ok..." The older woman stared at him in shock. At the same time, she had an epiphany. As long as she'd been an adult woman, she had scoffed and laughed at the notion of men as protectors. Now she realized that her husband had given her into the hands of somebody who would do just that. Finn would take care of her as long as he was able.

She couldn't do this alone. Where he saw strength, she very much felt feet of clay, but she thought with his help–his strength–she could manage. "C'mon," he said. "Let's finish up lunch." That broke the spell. Dabbing at her eyes with her sleeves, Betty joined him at the cookpot again. Sitting down, they began to talk their way through their next moves. They had two more spots on the map to go, and those two would be the most difficult–and dangerous–yet. With a heavy sigh, Finn said, "we do these two. Then we're out. I'll make dinner." "Deal," she replied. With a grin, she added, "maybe we drive to the river and pull up wash water..." Nodding, he agreed, "yeah. Could use more than ice water and a sponge." The forest had plenty of wood for a fire. After four days in this frigid place, Finn was excited to leave. _But_ after _we hit those last two spots,_ he thought.

It took a while to find the way up, but after a little searching and back-tracking, the pair located a narrow ramp leading up. With Finn in the lead, they followed the spiral as it went up and around the outer wall. It was slow going as the ledge narrowed and then narrowed again. When they finally climbed above the floating platforms, they found an eclectic trove of treasures. They ranged from the ordinary–a statue of a lion–to the dramatic–a half-smashed cement truck. Then there was the weird. There was the body of a female grid-face person laying in a glass coffin in the center of one of the floating platforms. Letting out a heavy sigh, Finn said, "let me guess. That's one of the spots on the map..." Chuckling humorlessly, Betty said, "yeah, babe. Right on the first try."

Smiling, Betty said, "but there's other stuff there too, and we do need to hit the cement truck. So how're we getting across." "You mean me," said Finn. Betty frowned at him. Just like every gal who got a hook into him, she was going to complain. Suddenly though, she stopped and said, "you can't carry two, huh?" Shaking his head, Finn said, "nope." A quick glance around them revealed no good places to anchor a rope. He was planning on jumping. Seeming to guess where her mind was going, he said, "I've got plenty of rope. I can tie off to the truck and rappel. "So that means the creepy girl first," said Betty with a nod.

She cleared out of his way. This was going to require millisecond timing, and she knew he needed no distractions. Sending up a silent prayer to the god she'd never really believed in, Betty waited. Finn took a deep breath and held it. Then he let it go. Taking a deep breath again, he held it. And then, he leaped into the void. As Betty's lips compressed into a thin line and her hands clenched into fists, the big man somersaulted through the air, twisting his body. Then, to her surprise, he used the strange power of his cursed arm, latching onto the platform at the last moment and pulling himself to safety. Landing heavily, the big man lay there a moment, his arm going back to its normal appearance.

Betty let out the breath she'd been holding when he got up. Once again she thought of Simone's secret terror. She'd laughed at her daughter on several occasions for being so caught up in what Finn was doing every day. It seemed sometimes that the younger woman obsessed over it. Now she saw the truth. It took courage–real courage–to love a man who wasn't going to come home someday. _Do you have that, Elizabeth Grof,_ she asked herself? She knew she was an emotional coward, completely unprepared for Simon's death. She'd lied to herself and hidden from the real effects of her father's death.

Below, Finn was moving on, rummaging through the forgotten luggage there on the platform. There was a bridal gown in one of those suitcases. It was old and yellow with age. Others held various articles of women's clothing, both intimate and otherwise alongside sturdy one-piece jumpsuits like Princess Nadia's people wore. _Hers,_ thought Betty? _Did that sick fuck snatch her on her way to her wedding?_ She felt a surge of sadness in her heart for this poor forgotten soul.

Standing there on the edge of the platform facing her, Finn shouted, "not finding anything." Betty sighed. She'd feared it was in the coffin. "Guess you'll have to check out the girl," she said. Finn grimaced. "What's'a'matter, hero," Betty teased? "Afraid she'll want a kiss from the guy who rescued her?" Finn gave her a rude hand-gesture, which set her to laughing. Moving on, Finn took a deep breath. Then he went across the platform to the coffin. Standing there, he searched the coffin's beautiful crystal surface for some means to open it. It looked almost as though it had been formed around her, and her body sort of _floated_ on a greyish cloud inside the box. _I guess I break it,_ Finn thought.

Drawing the Finn sword, he reversed his grip and brought the pommel down on the surface of the glass. The strange substance powdered like it was made of sugar. To Finn's surprise, the woman that he'd guessed was dead sat bolt upright. "Yuri," she babbled? "Oh, Yuri, you have come to save me!' "Uh... _no_ ," said Finn. "I'm Finn the Human..." "Yuri," the girl burbled? Finn wondered if she wasn't a little crazy or something. He wouldn't doubt he would have been if he'd been in a glass box that long. "Yuri," howled the woman! "This isn't funny! You left me, Yuri!" And that was when things went sideways. To Betty's horror, the young woman dissolved, becoming one of the horrid creatures that they knew as 'Dipped'. Multiple tendrils of black goo flowed towards Finn, seeking to destroy him.

As Betty screamed, Finn deflected those terrible appendages with Nadia's gift. As he backpedaled before the creature, the big man did his best to try and reason with her. Unfortunately the dead woman wasn't really interested in what he had to say. When he was backed into a corner, the big man decided that he was out of options. With curse-born speed, the big man severed those limbs, beheaded the creature, and then delivered the coupe-de-grace for good measure, cutting the creature into little pieces. Betty found herself laughing and crying all at once as Finn grinned at her. Betty blew him a kiss and said, "guess we check the cement truck." Finn nodded.

As he passed the place where the glass coffin had sat, the hero found a surprise. Reaching down, he picked up a small piece of what looked like jewelry. Before his eyes, light burst from the crystal at the heart of that piece of jewelry, showing the form of a handsome human man with brown hair, and hazel eyes. Tall and thin, he was the first human Finn had seen beyond his family and his father. "Hanna," he said. "I'm hoping you'll come with me. Meet me in the forest..." "Fucker," Finn muttered, as that message repeated over and over. Finn stuffed the jewelry in his pocket, shutting off the image. Now he knew how the girl had come to be here.

Moving on, Finn leaped across to the cement mixer. Under Betty's watchful eyes, the hero worked his way around the heavy machine, ducking under it and feeling in every crack and crevice he could reach. Finally, after wrenching open the door, he found a small piece of machinery there. _Jackpot,_ thought Finn. It was time they were going. Turning to Betty, Finn motioned for her to head down to the ground again. He moved to tie off his rope to the wrecked cement mixer. By the time Betty reached the ground floor, the big man had repelled down to join her.

"Not sure what these are," said Finn. "Other than the obvious..." "What did the hologram say," Betty asked? "I think it's how he lured her in," Finn replied. "So she was probably the first," Betty opined. "Yeah," sighed Finn. He was angry. She could see it in his eyes. She wasn't the only person who needed to be out of this place. "C'mon," said Betty. "Let's get out of here. I'm wanting that bath." "Yeah," said Finn, as he turned for the door.

Meanwhile, Sarah sat at the copilot's controls of her creator's illicitly built spaceship. Bonnie had kept the secret of the spaceship from her fellow princesses for years. The only person who had really even known it existed was Finn because he'd been on it. Not even her on-again, off-again toxic girlfriend had known. The bubblegum princess had salvaged the engines and controls from portions of the spacecraft that originally brought Martin Mertens to Ooo, and it had stood her in good stead on a number of clandestine missions over the years. Now it was serving its most important purpose yet. With all of the grid-face people's airships tied up, it was the only way to reach the frozen tundra of Baba Yaga's wasteland to find Finn.

Of course in order to fly the ship, she'd had to trust another princess with the secret. Out of fear of having that dangerous news revealed, she'd left it out of the subset of memories that Sarah held in her mind, and there hadn't been time to upload the necessary instructions. So now Nadia was doing the job. Trouble was, the proud princess, like so many of her colleagues, disliked surprises and got rather irate when pushed out of her comfort zone. Just now there were a lot of things pushing Nadia Ivanova's buttons.

"You're not _still_ angry about Cherry commandeering one of your airships," Sarah asked? Nadia flushed to her hair. She wasn't used to guarding her expressions, just her thoughts. Most grid-face people were in their breath-masks from the moment they rolled out of bed to the moment they went back to sleep at night. Living in a land that was contaminated with radioactive fallout from even before the Mushroom War, they were at grave risk of sickness and death from the very land they lived on. She'd been in an encounter suit almost from her birth.

The hours, days, and _weeks_ she'd spent away from home had given her an appreciation for the feel of the wind on her face. Without the fear of breathing in something she really shouldn't, the beautiful princess had gotten lazy and careless about it. There were days the mask never left her quarters on their ice-bound prison. Unfortunately that came with some unwanted side effects. "Hmm," said Bonnie's creation, "by your expression, it's not that at all. So what is it? It's going to be a long trip if you don't tell me..."

"I'm irritated with Bonnie for not coming herself," muttered the princess. "No," said Sarah. "You're irritated with her for sending _me_." Flushing once more, Nadia admitted, "I'm not sure I know what to do with you..." No-one in her homeland would have created such a creature. It was considered very poor taste in a land full of cyborgs. Sarah snorted, "she's not sure either." Nadia very nearly spun around in her seat. "Eyes front, Your Highness," said the sex-machine. "Finn doesn't get rescued if we crash in the middle of nowhere." Face red, Nadia turned back to the controls.

"I'm on your side," said Sarah. "I want to find out what happened to Finn just as much as you do." "How does a machine _want_ ," muttered Nadia? "We're _both_ machines, Nadia," retorted the android. "You started out with a biological process. I was born from alloys and chemistry, but we're both machines." Nadia muttered something impolite, but said nothing further. They were in this together, and she would just have to make the best of things.

The flight out to the wastelands took hours. Nadia spent much of the time in conference with her ministers or checking up on the far flung operations of her airfleet. There was a lot of fear and unrest in her kingdom at the moment. Some feared the failure of the containment and the end of the world. Some feared that their princess was letting an infatuation get in the way of urgent business looking after her people's interests. She was getting a lot of pushback from various quarters. Some wanted to abandon the containment effort in favor of building up defenses against the ice. They would have isolated the kingdom and abandoned long-standing alliances. Others wanted to demand _payment_ for their efforts in the form of cash or land. It all threatened to derail their efforts with the Lich.

On her side Sarah spent the time lost in fantasy. She hadn't seen much of Finn. After things came to the surface with Phoebe, her boyfriend had been laying low. She'd been busy herself, running Bonnie's errands while princess pain-in-the-butt was down in the lab. The android had missed her illicit contacts with Finn. Their relationship was the first time in her life that she'd been treated as a person instead of a sop to a crazy stalker. She had been allowed to talk about her own wants and dreams, and she missed that.

Flying across the darkened skies through the night, the pair reached the monolith that served as the entry to Pel the Door Lord's sanctum. Swooping down low, Nadia scanned the ground for a suitable place to land while the android girl scoped out the area around the truck. As the reports had indicated, the truck was intact with little sign that anyone had been near it beyond wild-animals. "Far side, I think," said Nadia, as she transitioned to a hover. With Sarah spotting on her side and to the rear, the cyborg carefully slipped the small aircraft into the clear space around the monolith. Barely had the landing gear taken the weight of the aircraft than both women were piling out. They were excited and anxious for similar reasons.

Inside the sanctum, Finn and Betty were headed for the door with a trove of the Lich's castoff treasures. Betty was doing a little better. She was no longer saying terrible things about herself, and, funnily enough, she'd quit saying them about Finn. The topic of the moment was Patrick and Fionna and their upcoming wedding. After being clearly ambivalent before, Betty was excited now. The excitement was a little contagious because Finn was a little excited himself.

Walking along, fingers twined in his, Betty told him all about her ideas for the wedding. She was clingy now, and Finn was having trouble dealing with that. This was Simon's lady and Simone's 'mom' after all. When you added in twenty years of negative baggage–especially the last couple of years–there was a creepy edge to it. At the same time, they were both drowning, and it helped to have someone to work this out with.

Standing at the door, Betty changed the subject back to the business at hand. "We've still got three days," she said. "Do we go back in?" She wanted to scour the place clean of clues, but she feared Simon's warning. Finn replied, "I wanna' see what shape our ride's in and maybe check the river first." He didn't want to be stranded. Betty half-expected to have to make some awful admission to get out again, but the doors opened wide as they approached. Stepping out into brilliant late-evening sunlight, the pair tried to get their bearings, only to come face-to-face with two princesses.

An embarrassed Betty let go of Finn's hand as she caught sight of one of the women he'd been romancing. "What gives," asked Finn? "I was expecting Piotr..." "You've been in there for nearly four months," Sarah replied. "When Piotr couldn't find you, we started working on a rescue, but it took a while to put things together." And that statement, more than anything, told Finn how bad things had been. Stepping forward, he asked, "we've been inside for four _months_?" Sarah nodded. Alarmed, the big man asked, "the barricade?" "Holding," Nadia replied. "Barely." "There's an army on the way to attack it," said Sarah. "Just like you guessed, Penny's been doing her best to break the containment. Fionna and Patrick have been buying time, but now it seems she's scraped together ten-thousand including wood nymph wizards." Finn frowned. Now he knew why Marjolaine was involved. She was bringing E's peeps in on this deal, and that was a big problem.

Finn began to pace. Up and back, up and back. As he walked, he fired questions at Sarah and Nadia. The pair described a world turned upside down with enemies multiplying. They were teetering on the brink. He needed to get back to civilization and get Wildberry's plan shut down. She was basically handing Penny a fortune to buy more armies to attack them with. That had to get shut down. As the big man pondered how to derail the crew working on a bribe, something happened to push that out of his immediate concern.

Betty screamed a warning. Finn spun around to see a massive conglomeration of trees and roots shuffling towards them. The big man rushed forward to place himself between the three women and the monstrosity. "Finn," shouted Nadia, "it's Baba Yaga!" The creature swung heavy tree-limbs at him, flailing away with branches half a foot thick. Finn deflected several and sliced through two more with the Finn Sword. Nadia had never seen him move so fast. He was almost a blur. Knowing the cost of that sent a thrill of terror up her spine. He was protecting them, but what would the cost be? She didn't want the man of her dreams being turned into a burnt-out husk!

Finally the creature stopped and drew back. Finn held his place, lowering his sword for good measure. It was uncanny to Betty the way he seemed able to figure out the best action for the moment. Far from being a violent thug or an imbecile, Finn was probably smarter than the three women standing there watching him. "No trouble," Finn said. "We don't come here to start a war with you. We respect your territory..." The monstrosity declared, "you're not Andreivich..." "Nope," replied Finn. "Might be we came here following his trail..." As the three women looked on, the mass of vegetation slowly parted, opening a sort of tunnel that went into the strange, teeming _heart_ of the creature/thing. Finn immediately stepped towards it. Turning to the princesses, he said, "Nadia. With me. You two sit tight."

Nadia stared at him. At the same time, she found her feet carrying her forward almost of their own volition. As Betty looked on in fear, the man she was starting to care for walked into that spider's web of vegetation. Much as she'd expected, the opening sealed itself behind him. Sarah spent a while scanning across a few different frequencies. Her boyfriend was a clever bastard. Baba Yaga quite likely only knew Russian, and Nadia was best equipped of the group of them to understand that language and all its dialects. And Sarah? Well, she was best equipped to come to their rescue if things went south. Confident that her sensors could track them through that mass of bio-material, the android hottie turned back to the business at hand.

"Fill me in," said she. "What's been going on?" A sheepish Betty–she couldn't help wondering if this woman saw her holding Finn's hand–replied, "we found some old audio recordings inside the sanctum. Finn was hoping that maybe you could rig something up to read them." "Maybe," said Sarah, as she extended a hand. As Betty handed over the sack, she got a good look at the other woman's fingers. This wasn't Bonnibel at all! "Y-you're the machine," Betty babbled. "P-Bot..." Irritated, the android woman replied, "for the record, it's Sarah. My name is Sarah." Betty goggled at her/it. "Look, if you're going to stare...," said the android woman. Betty glanced away.

Sarah took the bag with the tapes and headed over to the aircraft. Rummaging around in the cargo bay, she came up with some spare bits of electronics and a tool kit. Returning to the truck, she folded down the tailgate for a work-surface, lay out the tools and one of the tapes and got to work. "So she sent you," murmured Betty. Sarah knew exactly what she was thinking. "If you're guessing that she sent an expendable toy," said the android, "you'd be wrong. Bonnie's always wanted to examine a Door Lord's sanctum with no Door Lord in the way. She's too squeamish to just kill one in cold blood, though." After a pause, the android added, "besides, if that was the plan, Nadia wouldn't exactly have volunteered to fly me here."

It was logical enough. Betty found the artificial person quite fascinating. She'd been endlessly fascinated by the mutated citizens of the _new_ earth in the early days. The android stood out though. That was something she could relate to. Humanity had been striving to craft creatures like this one almost since the invention of the computer. "You're staring again," muttered Sarah, as she ran one of the instruments over the tape. "S-sorry," Betty replied. Looking around her, she found herself amazed at how different the place looked. "Four months," she burbled. "Yeah," said Sarah. "We hypothesized that the Door Lord's sanctum is either not anchored in space time and tends to drift when nobody's controlling it or it's in a dimension that's not the same as ours."

"We," asked Betty? With a shrug, the android replied, "Bonnie's pet theory is that the sanctum floats, but she likes outlandish theories because they're more interesting. I think it's in another dimension that only intersects with ours when the occupant wants it to." Betty found herself a little surprised by that. Simone had often said that Bonnie's body-double had all her thoughts and memories. How would the two even have been able to come up with independent ideas? _You_ could _ask,_ she thought.

Betty asked, "how is it you're so different...?" "From Bonnie," asked the android? "Chaos-theory. I'm equipped with a series of nested learning algorithms. Bonnie stole some of it–well, a _lot_ of it–from the old man who runs the Mo factory in the wastelands. You might say Beemo's my older brother. Anyways, organisms are defined by their environments. I grew up, so to speak, with my twisted husband. My experiences are different from hers. Plus I'm very distinctly programmed to realize that I'm _not_ Bonnie. Can't go getting ideas after all." "You're actually _bitter_ ," Betty babbled. "Guilty," Sarah replied. "I spent over twenty years having my SO call me by someone else's name. I had to live his kinky fantasies of getting to bone Princess Bubblegum. You wouldn't be exactly mentally healthy either..." _No,_ Betty thought, _I suppose I wouldn't._

Meanwhile, Finn and Nadia were following the strange passageway through the mass of teeming forest/jungle. Nadia was hoping and praying that this didn't turn out to be the end of them both. They wouldn't be the first to fail to return after entering Baba Yaga's living sanctum. Finn spoke little. His mind was focused on the matter at hand–not that she could blame him. She was a little ashamed to admit to herself that her mind, far from being on the dangers that seemed to have engulfed Ooo–was on her desire. Not her people. Not the world. Not their mortal enemy. None of that mattered. She wanted to know how he felt about her.

Bonnie, Marceline, and Phoebe were rather open about the relationship they had with him. He had been seeing the three of them, and Phoebe was with child by him. Nadia had been fit to be tied when she found out. He belonged to _her_. She'd always felt that way. Even on those days when he was so intertwined with Simone and Emeraude, she felt that she had a hope. So why hadn't he come to see _her_? "Looks like there's something up ahead," he said. Shaking off the fog, Nadia refocused on the matter at hand.

The pair stepped out into a broad, open space to find the sun shining down on them from a blue-blue sky above them and a lush carpet of grass on the ground before them. A soft sound of flowing water drew them onwards towards a swift-flowing stream. And beside that stream stood a small, rough-hewn cottage, painted in the bright colors that Nadia's ancestors favored. Runes etched into the walls served to remind the newcomers of just who they were dealing with. Baba Yaga was at least as old as Bonnie. She might even have been as old as Simon.

Finn stopped before the door of the cottage and offered it a sweeping bow. "You summoned us," he offered? From their right, a voice replied, "you are far more polite than the one you company with." Both Finn and Nadia spun to face the sound of that voice, finding a petite little woman with long black hair that glistened as if she'd been bathing. That 'wet' look carried through to her bare skin, telling Finn that she might well have been some kind of nymph. _Or nature spirit,_ he thought. "Rusalka," murmured Nadia. Almost reflexively she made a sign against evil. It was superstitious. She knew it was superstitious when she did it. At the same time, she could not have prepared herself for the response. A mass of vines tore out of the ground, snatching the hapless princess up by her four limbs, threatening to pull her apart.

Calmly, Finn said, "the spell on me's going to wear off. I need a translator." Just that. He might not have given two damns that Baba Yaga was going to tear her limb from limb. "I should have surmised," said the witch. The vines dropped the princess on the ground. Clambering back to her feet, she barely checked herself from cussing the both of them. Finn was right. It was best not to react here. This was dangerous business–more dangerous perhaps than anything she'd ever done in her life.

The witch motioned for them to be seated. Finn took Nadia by the arm and steered her to the pair of rocks that sat to one side of the cottage. The witch went into the cottage–the door opening before her as if it had a mind of its own. Momentarily she returned, clothed this time in a robe of bird feathers and plant fibers. Her skin seemed to shift with the colors of the ground she walked on, leading Finn to think that his guess was right. Nature spirit.

"Why do you come," she asked? "I feared that Andreivich had returned." "You mean the dead man," murmured Finn. "The one we call the Lich." Nodding, Baba Yaga replied, "just so. I chased him away from these lands centuries ago, and I've not seen him since." "He moved west to torment us," Finn replied. "He's been preying on the people of the civilized kingdoms since that time." The witch snorted. "He and I had a common goal once upon a time," she said. Finn didn't let himself show how that worried him. They didn't need _two_ enemies trying to kill everybody on Ooo. "Your kind ruined the world," she said. "Nearly broke it. As the last of my kind, I swore that I would protect what remained." Nodding at Nadia, she said, "even before the rain of fire, her ancestors visited destruction on every place they dwelled. Even now, I must constantly be on guard against them, lest they bring back those dark days."

Nadia frowned at her. "I don't know what you're talking about," she muttered. "We've tried to live at peace with you. We have no interest in bringing back wars. We've dedicated ourselves to defensive technologies..." "Then why do you invade my land," demanded Baba Yaga? "You seek to bring back the rain of death! Why else would you come?" Nadia began to protest once more, shouting about Baba Yaga's predations on _her_ people–the disastrous war that had taken her father–and she laid the cause of that war squarely at the witch's feet. "We didn't start it," howled the princess! " _You_ did..."

Softly, Finn said, "maybe you both did." Both women stared at him. That was hardly what either would have expected him to say. Softly, eyes on the witch the whole time, the big man said, "every kingdom on Ooo is built to protect something awful from before the war. Isn't that right, Nadia?" The witch glanced away, telling Nadia that Finn had discovered something that had eluded her people for centuries. The witch had never bothered explaining the reason she attacked them. "I don't want what you have," the proud princess muttered. "We don't want it at all. We have our own burden to bear." "There's a terrible place where the animals and even the plants in the field are all twisted," said Finn. "I've been there. She took me once." Those words shocked their host, leaving her staring at them with mouth hanging.

While the old witch was still reeling, Finn hit her with another shocking dose of truth. "Andreivich–the man you knew–was a lie," he said. "The Lich isn't interested in protecting anything. He's trying to freeze the world. All of it. When the ice comes, your lands won't be any safer..." "I know this," the witch muttered. "It's why I sent him away all those years ago. He strove to take what I protect. He wanted to finish what your kind started." He'd intended to tear the world asunder if he could. "He's lost in madness," muttered the witch. "He fights with himself. On his good days... he was a charming fellow. He was... _kind_. I grew to trust him." "But then you met the other side," said Finn. "He's two men in one body. Or was." Both women were staring at him again.

Frowning, Finn looked up and said, "the evil man in his body killed Andreivich. I read it in his diary. He was plotting to kill Andrei. I think he succeeded." Baba Yaga's hands clenched, and Finn thought that the dead man might have meant something to her. "Help me," said Finn. "Help me defeat him. He took my wives and murdered them, and now he's using them against me..." "I cannot leave this place," said the witch. "I don't need that kind of help," said the hero. "I need... knowledge. The only other person who knew him is dead now. The Lich murdered him just day... _weeks_ ago..." Catching that slip, the witch laughed, "you don't belong in the traveler's home, young master. It's a dangerous place. Andreivich would sometimes be there for _years_ and not realize it." Finn chuckled, "yeah. Wish you'd told us that earlier."

Serious again, the witch said, "I will consider your words. You may go now." Rising, Finn said, "even if you can't help us, I need your permission..." Frowning, she said, "no-one dwells in my lands..." "Not to live here," said Finn. "I have a home of my own that I'm trying to save. The key to the man or creature that killed Andrei and took his life over is in the Door Lord's sanctum..." "And you would go back into that place," she asked? "You are a daring fool. I'm impressed with your courage. Very well. I give you and any two other companions you name permission to enter and leave this spot at will."

Finn named his two names, then asked, "how will we know when you've made your decision?" Her expression of puzzlement and irritation showed him that Betty's spell had worn off. His eyes flicked to Nadia, who, belatedly, translated those words. Baba Yaga clucked at him. "That won't do," she said. "I have little trust for this creature..." She pointed at him, and a thorny tendril extended from the tip of her finger. As Nadia squealed in panic and jumped behind him, the vine jabbed him in the forehead. Momentarily, he said, "huh... Somehow I can think in Russian... Hey, Nadia... What do you think?" The princess slapped him on the head, causing the witch to howl laughter. A sheepish Finn chuckled and smiled. That was his life.

Sober again, the witch said, "you will know when I wish to speak to you..." In the blink of an eye, Baba Yaga, her hut, and the beautiful field it sat in were all gone. He was back in that grassy, vine-choked tunnel. Glancing around him, he found a terrified Nadia staring back. Taking her by the shoulder, he steered her towards the opening. Stepping through into the icy clearing where the Door Lord's door sat, they found Betty and Sarah hard at work on the tape dilemma. Finn announced their return to a worried Betty and Sarah with a cheery, "hey, guys."

Both women strode up to them, giving the pair a good looking over as they approached. "Come here, hero," said Sarah, as she seized Finn by his collar. To Nadia's undieing shock, the love-doll planted a smokin' hot kiss on the big man's lips, grinding her scientifically-stacked body against him. Far from being shocked or appalled, Finn grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to him. "I was afraid," she sobbed. "I know...," he replied as he stroked her sticky hair. "I'm ok. I'm back." Breaking contact, Finn turned to Betty and said, "I convinced her to let you and Sarah stay. Be careful. She just confirmed that time in the Door Lord's sanctum is twisted."

Betty answered that with, "we've almost got a tape machine working." "The Lich was sharing bodies with a guy named Andreivich," said Finn. "Look for clues into the other personality... If we can figure out where Andrei picked up his hitchhiker, maybe we can figure out how the Lich jumps bodies..." "Where are you going," Betty asked? With a heavy sigh, the big man replied, "I gotta' go get Wildberry shut down. She's putting together enough money to pay Penny's army until doomsday." Turning to Nadia, Finn said, "I'll be on the ship in a moment." Taking Betty by the arm, he steered her behind the stone slab that was the Door Lord's entrance.

In the shadows there, Betty immediately threw her arms around him and held on tight. "Be careful," she sighed. "I will," Finn replied. "You do the same. Sarah's got good skills. Listen to her." Betty chuckled, "she's Bonnibel, Finn. Without all the flighty behavior. She'll make a good assistant." Before he could go, the curvy beauty shocked him by grabbing his face and kissing him for all she was worth. "I've thought long and hard about this," she sighed. "I guess. I... need to be number seven..." It took a moment. Then, as Finn's face went pale with shock, Betty whined, "I can't promise not to be a bitch, Finn. I'm a mess, and I'm needy. I don't even understand half of what's wrong with me, but I'm gonna' try to be better... I _need_ you."

Finn sighed heavily. This was kind of a pickle. Sniffing back the tears, Betty gave him a crazy smile and said, "and... well, Simon did kind of give me to you." "For as long as you want me around," he replied. Those words puzzled her, but then Princess Nadia's voice reminded them that he had to be going. Betty pressed that beautiful body against his and gave him a reminder of their strange new circumstance, grinding her hot body against his just the way Sarah had, sending him on his way with a raging hard-on.


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45:

" _Daddy_ ," howled Star! Finn snatched his little girl up on the run and hugged her tight. In moments, she was crying all over him. He tried to tease her, asking if she'd missed him, but the little woman pulled his ear in response. Setting her down, the big man kissed her on either cheek the way he did when she was a little thing. Now, dressed up in a soft dress in deep blue velvet, she looked so beautiful. Just like her momma. She was his last connection to Emeraude. He'd lost his lovely wife, but he had Star. As his would-be son-in-law looked on, Finn hugged Star again. "Daddy," she burbled? "Nothing, sweetie," he said, as he let go. "I just wanted to do that."

Striding forward, towards the meeting room, Finn said, "Nadia's been telling me some of what's been going on. Anything new?" With a grimace of supreme distaste, Star explained, "sourberry is moving for a vote, daddy. Cherry and Ragnhild have been using procedures to slow her down, but I think they ran out of options." It was grim news for Finn. Still, he intended to try. Stepping around his daughter, Finn headed for the door. Two Berry Guards blocked him. An officious sargent approached, declaring, "this meeting is closed to non-royals..." Finn never missed a beat, replying, "you sure you wanna' go there, slick?" That gave the officious berry pause. Without a further word, Finn went through into the conference.

Wildberry was at the podium haranguing the assembled royals. Every face swiveled to face him as he came down the aisle. Finn said, "I know you're all afraid. This is probably the scariest jam we've been in. Ever. I know what money does to your mind too. I used to be richer than glob. When you have money, you think you can do whatevs, and nobody can stop you. I'm here to tell you that _never_ ends well, and there's some trouble you can't buy your way clear of. Isn't that right, Wildberry?" The little princess glared at him.

Stopping before the podium, the big man turned to his frightened and unhappy audience and said, "our enemy wants us distracted and fighting each other. The Thief King would like nothing more than to be handed the coin to buy an army to free the Lich..." Wildberry interrupted him, saying, "you haven't stopped the Lich, Finn. You haven't even tried. I don't like negotiating with criminals, but we have little choice. Now, unless you have something useful to say, we were having a vote..." The big man gave the annoying royal a mocking bow. Then he stood aside as the frightened people in the chamber voted to give Penny all she could have asked for.

The big man didn't wait for the inevitable gloating. As he always did, Finn moved on to what was next. Walking back up the aisle, he went back out to where his daughter stood. "Where's Bill," he asked? "He's in the desert. He headed out on Ragnhild's train _days_ ago." "Good," said Finn. "We'll do the same." In the now, he wanted to see Cherry. While they waited, Finn got a feel for what Cherry and Star had been up to while he was bottled up. The pretty gangster girl had been running all over the civilized kingdoms working at tracking Penny down and thwarting her schemes with patchy success. The Mafia Princess had great power and authority, but it was hard to fight somebody who was plowing every penny they got into their plans.

Most crime bosses were interested in growing their organization. They brought in money and invested it in new schemes and rackets. That left a limited amount of cash for violent turf wars and hiring mercenaries. Penny had no such limitations. She was trying to bring on the end of days, so it hardly mattered if she spent everything she had. Worse, with every gang she smashed or took over, she got more money to spend on her violent quest to end the world. Most of Cherry's loyalists were engaged in holding onto what they had against increasingly violent raiders who had no fear and no moral compunctions against killing anyone in their way. That news left Finn shaking his head in disgust and worry. He should have killed her. He had been miserable thinking he had killed her, and now he wished he'd made sure of it.

As they watched, the meeting broke up, and the princesses came out to go to their hotel rooms and from there to their homes. Finn waited and watched for his lady to come out. Finally the stream of nervous faces trickled down to nothing, and Finn went back in to find Cherry. His lady was waiting in the ante-chamber, sitting on a table in that sexy purple dress. Done in crushed velvet, the hip-hugging number emphasized that the little woman was curvy as hell, with plump boobies that looked huge on her little body. Every time he looked at her, his mind remembered. She'd done that for _him_. Those were _his_. When she turned to face him, her eyes lit up. Drawing her left foot up on the table, she accidentally caused the long slit down the left side of her gown to fall open, revealing sexy red stockings. He wanted her. "Honey," she murmured, as he stopped before her.

Taking her by the wrist, he jerked her down off the table. Before the eyes of his son-in-law and daughter, the big man dragged Cherry off down the hall. As the young couple watched, the big man dragged Star's stepmom into one of the private meeting rooms and shut the door. Locking the door, Finn dragged his woman across to the conference table. "Finn," she babbled. "W-what's gotten into you, honey?" "Gratitude," he whispered, as he picked her up and sat her down on that table. The big man slipped his hands under her skirt, grabbed both knees and shoved them apart as he caught her lips with his.

His hands slowly stroked the insides of her thighs, reminding her of how long it had been since they'd been together last. "Honey," she whined as his fingers teased her soft flesh. Nibbling at his ear, he said, "I'm lucky to still have you with all the times you could have been taken from me..." She felt her face go hot as she thought of the incident in the mountains. Did he know? She'd sworn her stepdaughter to secrecy. Finn reached behind her and unzipped that dress. Pulling it down from her shoulders, he bared those plump boobies and pressed his face into her soft skin. "Finn," she sighed, as he kissed her tender flesh. Her hands glided through his hair. He'd taken her before, but never quite like this. He'd never seemed so hungry for her before this.

After popping the soft bra open, the big man kissed and teased at her plump boobies while his hands caressed her body, stroking her hips under that dress as they got ever closer to their goal. "Baby," she whined as he clamped down on one of her sensitive nips. Back arching, she tried to press her booby into his mouth. When his finger touched down on her love-button, she had to bite her lip to avoid screaming. She was already horny, and this new side of him was driving her crazy.

After several minutes of rubbing her hot crack with his finger through her panties, he reached up, grabbed the waist of her damp drawers and all but snatched them off. Bending down, he crawled under her skirt, jerking her legs wide as he did so. Cherry did scream when he began to go down on her like a fiend. He seemed almost as though he wanted to devour her. Her hands clawed at his scalp and shoulders as he skillfully worked her over with his tongue, lips, and teeth. When he got his fingers into the action, she really blasted off.

The little hottie was panting like she'd run a race when he straightened. Unzipping his pants, he struggled a moment with his pecker before getting it out. Cherry said not a word as he eased the fat dong into her horny snatch. Almost immediately, she wrapped her sleek, firm thighs around him and closed her eyes. Finn began to rail her hard, slamming his rod in deep with every thrust he took. At the same time, he went back to tormenting her heaving boobies, biting hard on her nips and roughly pawing them until warm baby-food dribbled out of both. Her hands clawed at his back and his butt as he screwed the shit out of her, and she knew that people outside the room could hear them. Turned on from the speed and fury of his attack, it didn't take Cherry long at all to reach her climax. As she was going over the edge, she belatedly realized that she'd run out of pills _months_ ago. As she felt him shooting his thick seed into her hungry snatch, she thought, _well, Van needs a sibling anyway._

Huffing and puffing, she murmured, "wow, honey... I... What brought that on?" "I love you," he told her, as he kissed her soft lips again. She had her answer. He'd come at last to acceptance. Anger and denial had been his meat and drink when she last saw him. He'd finally come through to acceptance. Pressing her face against his cheek, she said, "I'm glad to have you back, honey. You should probably go tell Lollipop you're ok. I got some things to do here."

It took a few moments to untangle themselves. When they returned to the hallway, they found it mostly empty, with Star standing outside the door and Thor down at one end, keeping people away. Cherry was grateful for that. This was _their_ business. Star said nothing at all. She barely even smirked. "I'm'a go see Van," said Finn. Star nodded sagely as he headed off down the hall. When Finn was gone, she turned to her stepmom and said, "your slip is showing..." Flushing to her hair, the little woman darted back inside to adjust her clothing once again.

Finn went outside, hailed a cab, and headed for the hotel where his family was staying. On the way, he thought about his current situation with Betty, finding that he was still a little ambivalent about that. He could only hope Simone was alright with this development. He imagined her looking down on him from heaven and being a little bit weirded out to find her hubby bangin' her mom. At the same time, the world was going to hell in a handbasket. What was the point in being uptight about stuff? None of that was going to stop the Lich from freezing everybody. _And we have an ally,_ he thought. Baba Yaga was a very strong ally. Question was, how could he exploit that? He was pretty sure she wouldn't just wade into a fight with the Lich, but there were a lot of other things she could do to help them.

Arriving at the hotel, the big man went straight upstairs to Cherry's suite of rooms. She'd rented the Princess Suite, giving his family plenty of space to spread out. Using the key she'd given him, the hero of Ooo unlocked the door, wondering how Lollipop would greet him as he did so. Inside the suite, Lollipop had just put Van down for his nap when she heard the door opening. Her hand immediately went to the dart-pistol she kept nearby at all times now. Cherry, Star, and Thor weren't due back for _hours_. There shouldn't be anybody coming into their suite. They had the finest security here at the top floor of the Grand, but Cherry left nothing to chance. Now Lollipop had begun to think the way she did. Stepping to the door of Van's room, pistol at her side, the former model glanced out to find Finn shutting the door behind him. Shock overwhelmed her. She'd begun to think her boyfriend would be lost in that maze forever.

On his side, Finn was a little startled to see that Lollipop had let her hair grow out. It now hung down to her perky little boobies in front, framing her round face. Tears began to fall from her chocolate-brown eyes, spattering her chest. Dropping the gun, the tall girl ran towards him. Finn grabbed her and held her tight. He was lucky to still have any of them. He hadn't been here to look after them, and he thought Theo would be enough of a dick to try to kill his loved ones to get back at him. Stroking her long, brown hair, he whispered calming words into Lollipop's ear.

Stepping back, he gave her a good looking over and said, "I like the hair. It looks good on you." The slim beauty flushed to her crown. The big man reached out, grabbed her by the waist and jerked her towards him. Having had a bite of the cherry, he wanted a taste of his sucker. Kissing her thin lips, he grabbed a double handful of her hard little ass, squeezing it hard enough to make her squeal. Then he picked her up by her butt and carried her towards the couch.

Sitting down there, the big man got to grips with her hot little body, unzipping the back of her little micro-dress and sliding off her shoulders. Next came the lacy push-up bra she was wearing underneath. When he'd popped the catch in back, Lollipop shimmied out of it and slung it into the corner. Kissing and rubbing their bodies together, the two indulged in the hunger that had been tearing at them. She had missed him very badly, and he'd missed her sharp sense of humor and the wild, crazy sex.

Lollipop often professed that she'd never outgrown her teen years where she was as likely to do it in the backroom of a boyfriend's house or on the neighbor's couch while babysitting as anything else. That meant it was usually rushed and rarely did they take a lot of time with foreplay. Today was no exception. After fumbling with the sword-belt and the heavy shoulder armor he wore, the slim girl all but tore the shirt off her guy. After that, she wrestled his pants down to his ankles. Finn didn't even get to say a word before she was sliding her hot pussy down his dong.

The crazy encounter with Cherry had taken the edge off of Finn's hunger and now he was able to hold out as the skinny girl screwed herself silly on his pecker. Between swapping spit, she nibbled on his hard pecks and clawed at his back, and generally did her best to become one with his body. Finn's big, strong mitts all but tore the little dress off of her and threw the battered remnant in the corner, after which he spent a while leaving rough bruises on her hard little butt and skinny waist as he bounced her up and down on his fat dick.

Both of them struggled not to wake little Van, but it was hard when Lollipop wanted to scream with every orgasm, and Finn wanted to shout as his girl's thin hips slapped into his. Finally the big man could take no more. Lollipop was clawing for another climax–her sixth–when his poor abused pecker shot off. The skinny girl squealed at the feel of that. Sliding her hot gash up and down his nasty love-rod once, twice, and then a third time, she too went over the edge.

Finn fell over on his back, with Lollipop landing on top of him. Almost immediately she started crying again. "I know," he sighed. "I'm sorry." He held her and stroked her soft skin and hair, while she cried and cussed him for scaring them all. Sitting up on his waist, the slim beauty stared down at him, and her hands traced the scars on his chest and ribs. It would be hours later that he realized why. She was looking for fresh wounds. "I guess you saw Cherry already, huh," she asked, as she traced one of the gashes Betty had made on his hip. Absentmindedly, he nodded. "I tried to stop Wildberry from having a vote on her stupid plan," he sighed. Lollipop nodded thoughtfully. She knew some of what was going on. Princess Ragnhild and her boy-toy had stopped by to talk about it a couple of times.

"How's Van," he asked? "Good, honey," Lollipop replied. "He's almost speaking in whole sentences now." "Wow," Finn burbled. She knew what he was thinking. Even his daughter had said it. The little guy was getting his brain-power from mommy. Lollipop thought that wasn't even half-true. Finn was far smarter than most gave him credit for. It didn't matter, though. Daddy was home. She was happy with that.

It was late in the day when the family was gathered once more in the suite. With the vote taken, there wasn't a lot keeping them here in Wildberry's kingdom, and Finn was anxious to move on and join Billy in Emerald Kingdom. The hero had gone down to the train station to order up tickets, only to find Jeeves there getting Cherry's custom off-roading limo strapped down to a private car. His lady had gotten there first and gotten things taken care of. After a crazy dinner spent with both women occupying his lap while they discussed what had been going on, the family turned in. It was the first time in quite a while that Finn had found himself in bed with two women at once, and his body, having grown accustomed to that over twenty years of marriage, knew the difference instantly. He slept better than he had in months. Waking up with Cherry snuggled in against his back and his arms around Lollipop was like every day of his adult life until the bad times had come.

While the two ladies dressed, Finn shaved the scruff of beard off his face, washing the razor clean in a sink full of warm water. "You are quite the... how you say... _stud_ ," announced Baba Yaga. Startled, Finn nearly slashed his own face open. He'd expected her aid would have strings attached. Now, as he stared into the wash-basin to find a pair of earthy brown eyes staring back, he realized that he had, quite possibly, gotten himself in a great deal of trouble. Still, he was looking for ways to use their tenuous alliance, so he squared up and replied with, "it's complicated. What's up?" The brown eyes seemed almost to be smirking as she told him, "I sense Andreivich in two places. How is this possible?"

With a sigh, Finn explained what had happened to his two wives when they both grasped the Ice Tiara. He'd sort of surmised a lot of it, but he knew them both well enough to guess that Simone, who'd been the Tiara's slave, had gone to pick it up out of the box, and Emeraude, who loved Simone like the sister she'd wished she had, would have tried to stop her. "Most unfortunate," said the nature spirit. Moving on, she explained the reason for this _visit_. "I sense Andreivich's other half in the great desert south and east of you. Do you know why he would go there?" "Emeralds," Finn replied. "There's a great treasure of them there. The princesses were hoping to bribe the people they think are controlling him." "Phaw," she spat! "Nobody controls Andreivich! Only a fool would believe that!" "I'm afflicted by fools currently," Finn replied. That actually made her laugh.

The nature spirit asked the burning question on her mind. "What will you do," she asked? With a shrug, Finn said, "there's enough money there to pay men to try freeing skelelton-face for the next hundred years. I'm going to put a stop to the foolishness. Even if I have to hurt old friends to do it." He was determined. She could tell from the way he spoke. It wasn't the usual posturing of his kind. It was simple words and simpler truth. "Can you tell me where he is," Finn asked? "No," she replied. "Not so closely that you would be able to go there. Unfortunately, Andreivich learned a great deal from me..." Finn nodded. Now he knew how the Lich had learned his peculiar brand of magic. "Are you not angry," she asked? "How would that help us now," Finn retorted? "I need you, and you need me. We should both save that stuff for later." "Fair enough," replied the witch. "There is one thing I can do for you. Bring to me a cup or bottle. Something you can seal..."

Finn rushed out of the bath wearing nothing but a towel. As his ladies and child stared, he raced into the kitchen, finding Cherry's flask sitting there. He was a little surprised to find it empty and looking as though it had been empty for quite a while. Had she stopped drinking? He was excited by the prospect. Rushing back to the bathroom, he presented the nature spirit with his prize. "That will do," she said. "In the old days, they brought matryoshka." "I'm not in Nadia's kingdom," Finn replied.

A tremendous wind arose in that place, swirling and whirling around the room, and threatening to pin him to the walls or suck the life from his lungs. Finn fought for breath against the pressure. Just as he feared dieing in the confines of a bathroom, the terrible storm went whistling and howling into the flask. The big man rushed to put the cap on. When he'd done so, he found that Baba Yaga was gone. Standing at the door, Cherry asked, "you alright?" "Yeah," he said. Calmly, she asked, "what happened?" Holding up the flask, he told her, "got help from an ally." Nodding, she said, "get dressed, honey. We have a train to catch."

Elsewhere, Marceline Abadeer, the Princess of Darkness, paced the floor of her father's office in a state of severe agitation. The world was spiraling out of control. Everyone she cared about was deep in the mix and facing their own destruction, and she was trapped by the oath she'd sworn to escape Death's rock-quarry. "For fuck's sake, Brie," she snapped! "Don't read me that shit again! I need a loophole! I need a way out of this!" "It's an iron-clad contract, babe," the mobster-turned-demoness retorted. Pulling at her long, dark hair, Marceline snarled, "you're a _mobster_ , Brie! You're the last genuine, bonafide Sicilian mobster! Don't tell me you can't find a way around a _law_!"

Laying the papers flat on the table, Brie told her newfound friend, "I'm sorry, Marcy. I've been going over this shit since we got here. I bugged your daddy so much, he threatened to slap a hurting on my ass. There's no way out! This is the balance. Neither you nor the other guy are allowed to intercede in the mortal world. Not directly. He can't come down from on high, and you can't just waltz in either. You'd only get one shot. Then you'd never get to see your boyfriend again." Which she'd been telling Marceline for the last six hours or so. Every time the question got raised, the answer was the same. She was the Princess of Darkness, and she had less power than _Bonnie_.

"How did grand-dad do it," growled Marceline?! "He did some heinous shit to humans back in his day. They still talk about some of that shit, and grampa's been retired since before the Mushroom War." With a shrug, Brie said, "glitter, toots. Your grand-dad got them so they were doin' it to themselves and giving him the credit. He only ever had to show up a couple times and mostly he sent his boys. That's really the only way for you to do anything–by proxy. You'd have to send somebody." Marceline glared at her and said, "who the fuck can I trust among a kingdom full of demons besides you...?" The former vampire queen stopped in mid-sentence. "Pack your stuff, Brie," she said. "You're going on a trip."

Back in Baba Yaga's wasteland, Betty and Sarah came crawling out of the elevated tent on top of their truck. The android woman yawned and stretched as Betty watched in amusement. She surmised that a lot of the android's human-like emotions and thinking patterns were focused on making her a companion for Bonnie's stalker. Otherwise why would she even _need_ emotions. In a strange way, Sarah owed her very existence to Bracco, whether she liked to admit that or not. On the flip side of that, she was a far more logical and straightforward creature than Bonnibel, who's mind tended to wander a lot when she was faced with too many choices. Bonnie would have been bouncing between examining the Door Lord's sanctum, working on the tape machine, reading journals, and even examining the local plants and animals–and getting nothing done at all.

Grinning at her, Sarah said, "you're staring again. Like what you see?" Betty blushed to her hair. She had trouble with that. She found the machine/girl fascinating. She was flip and sarcastic to the point of being almost caustic, but she was also quick to apologize too. They had a lot in common that way. If Betty had a lot going on in her mind, Sarah had just as much. Bracco had never abused her physically, but he'd inflicted a lot of unintentional emotional abuse.

Strutting around in her panties and bra in spite of the cold, Sarah built up a fire for them. Then she set up the cooking gear. They had permission from the ruler of this frozen land to harvest enough animals to sustain them. Betty got the majority of that. Sarah ate enough to sustain her organic systems, relying on the truck's small solar-panel to recharge her internal battery unit.

By now, Betty had scrambled out of the tent and into her clothes. Sitting down beside her strange little friend, the older woman found herself strangely thankful. Sarah asked very little of her and put up with the staring and the rest of it. "Thanks," Betty offered. Frowning, Sarah asked, "for what?" Smiling, Betty said, "I'm not the happiest sort right now. I'm a hot-mess, girl." "Well, that makes two of us," Sarah chuckled. "Birds of a feather, right?" Betty laughed, and Sarah waited not a moment before joining her.

More seriously, Betty said, "I... kind of need to say something." Fumbling with the power cord, while trying to open the little flap of skin under her right arm, Sarah replied, "shoot." "I... asked Finn to be my lover," Betty murmured. Sarah laughed, "didn't react the way you expected, did he?" Betty flushed to her hair. Well, she'd thought of him as a philandering bastard at first. Then, when she learned what he was going through, she'd thought of him as a typically flawed specimen of mankind. But that didn't reach the mark either.

"What do you think about this," Betty asked? "I'd... I'm trying to horn in on an already crowded field..." She would, in essence, be stealing some of the time Sarah got too. "You'd have to fight Nadia for that spot, I think," Sarah replied. Betty's mouth came open. Knees folded up against her chest, Sarah waved airily and said, "why do you think she was so hot to fly here? I mean, did you see her face when I kissed him?" Betty had been too busy staring herself. Finn had said he was romancing the android woman, but seeing had definitely been believing.

"You seem awfully calm about all of this," Betty murmured. "I... we're stepping over each other..." With a shrug, Sarah said, "maybe I have advantages..." She waggled her eyebrows suggestively and gave Betty a good looking over. The older woman blushed to her hair as she realized what the android girl meant. "Y-you," stammered Betty? Sarah shrugged. Frowning now, Betty asked, "does Bonnie?" "Of course," Sarah replied. "Marceline was her first. Stands to reason. They kind of grew up together."

That news had Betty's jaw dropping all over again. "They're toxic," said Sarah. "They get together out of pure lust once in a while, but it never lasts long. Bonnie's a flighty, know-it-all bitch, and Marcy's a cunt who likes pushing people's buttons to see how long it takes them to blow up. The ironic part is that they both dumped on the one guy who could put up with their shit..." "...and now they both want him back," muttered Betty. "That poor man." If _those_ were the leading options Finn had when he was a young man, it was no wonder he was kind of a wreck. Simone would have been a godsend compared to that.

Fumbling the plug into her recharge port, Sarah said, "I told Finn that I planned to stop by whenever I wanted, and I didn't care who else might be there. I still mean that. So you better be prepared for that. If I feel that way, you can bet Marcy and Bonnie do too." Betty laughed and admitted, "uh, well... I kind of tried it once before." Sarah glanced up into her pretty brown eyes. Grinning and flushing, Betty said, "it was in my feminazi period when I had decided that I had no use for a man. Found out pretty fast that women have a lot of issues that we don't talk about." And she hadn't found the sex nearly as satisfying. She wasn't wired to be turned on to girls.

Sarah gave her a smile and said, "eat your breakfast. I've got some ideas as to how we can keep the Door Lord's home anchored to Ooo. That lets us go in and do a little more thorough exploration. Then after we can listen to some tapes." "You finished it," Betty asked? With a shrug, the android replied, "last night, after you went to sleep..." It had been slow going because the tapes were very delicate right now, and the machine risked destroying them each time it tried to read them. "I stored up what I listened to last night," said Sarah. There were advantages to being 'android Bonnie'.


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46:

"Hello, sailor," said the beautiful dark-haired beauty. Petite and curvy, the little beauty came with silky smooth skin in a pale teal color much like the rest of the folk of Engagement Ring Kingdom. Her dark, knowing eyes sparkled with humor as the young thief rushed to buy her a drink. They always did that. She'd forgotten how that felt, and honestly she saw how her mistress could miss this so much. Brianna Louise Manzella had existed a long, _long_ time without even the most basic human contact. Her ill-gotten gains had bought her survival of the last world war and continued existence in the face of her own mortality. The one thing it had never managed to purchase was companionship.

She'd forgotten what it was like to be the belle of the ball. She'd forgotten the life she'd led before her father's enemies dragged her kicking and screaming into the world that paid for the expensive Swiss boarding school, the beautiful dresses, and the fairy-tale lifestyle. Here with these sad little men, she remembered a little of that. The young man came back, sat himself beside her, and began his rap, trying to interest her in what he had to offer. Brie listened, but her mind was on the two men in the back of the room. Both were, just now, staring at her with interest.

Women didn't come often to this club–not quality ones anyway. Rumors swirling around the streets of the capitol suggested that if you were a little too pretty, you might very well disappear. The club's mercurial owner loved to despoil sweet young things, ruining them and wrecking their prospects at the wholesome marriage that was so important in the kingdom. Brie knew the truth of that. She'd checked the records before coming here. Don Frederick Araullo Colon had been a _very_ bad boy. Some of those poor young girls had not simply been ruined. They'd been shipped away to very bad endings. Some were buried under this club.

"Blanco," shouted the evil gangster! "Come here!" The young man winced as he got up to go. "No, Blanco," said the older man. "Bring your young friend, too." Brie smiled as she joined her would-be hubby for the short walk across the bar. She put a sensuous sway in her step, making her broad hips rock back and forth. They always drooled when she did that. "Hi," she greeted the evil old men there in the corner. They were back out of reach of the lights as if they craved darkness and feared being revealed for what they were. They thought they were evil, but they hardly knew what evil was. She knew evil because she had _lived_ it. In some ways she was _still_ living that evil.

"Pretty girl, Frederick," said his lieutenant. Both men were staring in hunger at her. Brie gave the evil old man a sweet smile and asked, "what do you want, Frederick? Power? Wealth?" He laughed at her. "You act as though you can give me those things," said the gangster. Evil to the last, he said, "perhaps I just want to fuck you, bitch." "How much will you pay," Brie asked? "It isn't cheap." Frederick Araullo Colon howled laughter. He laughed a long, long time, inviting his lieutenant and his pet thug to share the joke. Blanco tittered nervously. This was all going sideways. He'd just wanted a drink and a dance.

Jerking out a knife, the evil man grabbed Brie by her hair and pulled her onto his lap. "I want you to suck me," he growled. "How much does that cost?" Grinning, Brie said, "your life." Without a further word, the gangster-cum-demoness revealed her true form. As Blanco shit his pants, the evil creature sucked the life out of Frederick Araullo Colon, almost literally inhaling his very soul, leaving a withered husk there in his seat. Turning to Blanco, Brie said, "get out, Blanco. Go home to your mother. There are better ways to pay her medical bills than this. You'll end up in the Night-O-Sphere getting snacked on by demons..."

The terrified young man raced for the nearest door and threw himself through it. Every other face there remained rooted to the spot as Brie calmly snapped her fingers, slamming the doors shut and latching them. "Saved one," she whispered, and strangely she was glad of that. Hiding once more behind her fair face, Brianna Louise Manzella shoved the desiccated corpse of the former Number One out of his chair and sat down. "Hi," she said. "I'm Brie. I serve the Princess of Darkness. I can make you chief gangster here. It'll only cost you your soul."

Hundreds of miles to the east, Finn the Human stood on a rocky promontory, staring out at a deep cut in the land between the wilds east of Laurel Kingdom and the grey wastelands of Emerald Kingdom. Penny had chosen this spot for the drop off of the treasure. There were tens of millions of coins worth of diamonds, rubies, and emeralds in caskets headed towards the ruined city that spanned the straight. They were planning to meet on the near side to make the exchange, but Finn was pretty certain that the ambush was going to come long before the exchange. After all, if Penny had her goons _steal_ all the money, she could claim she had no knowledge of the ransom. That let her ask for more money while letting the Lich do what he did.

"They'll do it in the near-side ruins," Thor declared. Finn nodded. It was what he would do. Emerald Princess's dudes couldn't cross the ocean in numbers. That would threaten to start a fight with Laurel Princess. It would take time for reinforcements to make the trip, and they might just might have trouble getting ashore if there were enough ambushers. "Alright," said Finn. "Let's get set up."

They knew the route the treasure caravan was going to take. The exchange was to take place two hundred miles away from the crossing. That would give Penny's thugs distance and let them claim they weren't involved. Unfortunately, Finn didn't have much for an army to fight back. He had a handful of half-melted Froyo Guards, a small number of his cowardly bananas, Thor, Star, and Billy. Against that, they faced an unknown number of hostiles that would likely have wizards of their own. He knew the Emerald Guard would be pretty bad off after the trap was sprung. That was the whole _point_ of an ambush. _You just have to keep them from making off with the jewels,_ he thought. Turning to Thor, he said, "get everybody together. It's time to plan."

The sun spun across the sky in its track, and Finn sat atop the bluff staring down at the sea as the Emerald Kingdom's people came over in their boats. Just as he'd guessed, there wasn't much for guards. Aysun was gambling with her people's treasure on a scheme that might very well backfire against them. It was one of the things that irritated him with the princesses. They acted as though they were so intelligent and so put together, when most of them would have been hard pressed to put together their own beds in the morning. This was every kind of stupid you could think of. He was mad at Alexia for not putting in guards of her own. If she was going to feud with the Emerald Kingdom and worry over them crossing the strait to raid her lands, the least she could do was provide guards of her own to protect the shipment. These two idiots were leaving all of this to chance!

As the big man watched from his perch, the Emerald Guard got the boats unloaded, got the wagons hitched up, and the caravan on its way. Once or twice, somebody had stared up at him, and there had been a little pointing and gesturing, but, for the most part, they did their thing and ignored him. Which said quite a lot about how idiotic this whole thing was. Finn would have expected to have a half-dozen horsemen come up to 'chat'. Instead, he got ignored. Reaching into his pocket, he drew out his phone, dialed up Thor, and let his son-in-law know what was coming. Then, checking the flask in his pocket one more time, he got up and slipped back down the back side of the slope.

The Finn Army paced the Emerald Guard across much of the day, staying just out of sight on the far side of the dunes. Not that the Emerald people put much effort into the job of scouting for dangers. They were primarily concerned with making progress. The only good news was that Laurel Princess didn't try to make this a four way by butting in. As afternoon came on, the Emerald Guard came around a bend to find a lone figure there waiting on them. Finn the Human gave the veiled figures a smile. Striding forward, hands palm-up, the big man declared, "take me to your leader..."

Finn was unsurprised to find Emerald Princess herself riding alongside the heavy sacks of emeralds, diamonds, and coins. Aysun glared at him. She'd declared him unwelcome in her kingdom after he stopped her dudes from invading Laurel Kingdom. After revealing that Alexia had started the quarrel in front of the Council, he'd earned a lifetime ban from both princesses. It had definitely not been one of his finer moments. Sitting there in the stifling head-to-foot robes all her people wore, the angry princess looked down her nose at him and demanded, "how dare you enter my domain?" Smiling and shaking his head, Finn replied, "it's still Alexia's territory, Aysun..."

As the shocked guards stared, Finn said, "you're walking into a trap. There's three-hundred..." Interrupting him, she howled, "how dare you interrupt me?!" To her guards, she shouted, "arrest him!" Finn let them take his sword. Then he let them bundle him into cuffs. He'd expected no different. She had come into this with a desire to leave her isolated domain. Sitting in her dusty palace in the dry badlands east and south of Laurel Kingdom, Aysun felt _alone_ and _forgotten_. She wanted to be part of things. She'd tried to establish a connection by annexing some of Alexia's domain. Finn had quashed that. This was a chance to be part of things. She was going to save the day. Padding along beside the Royal Carriage, Finn did his best to convince her otherwise.

He told her of the army Penny had already raised. He talked of the way Pennywas recruiting disaffected dudes from the Bandit Lands. He warned her of Penny's treacherous nature. That last set her back up. "You dare speak to _me_ about treachery," the angry princess howled?! "I should have your tongue cut out after what you pulled!" Finn shrugged. She was welcome to have her dudes try, but there were only twenty of them. As he considered a new approach to the problem of having Aysun pissed off at him, a cloud of dust announced that it was much too late to turn around. Just as Thor had guessed, they were coming out of the ruins to the north and east.

Finn calmly waited as the frightened Emerald Guards tried to figure out what to do with this development. As the hero of Ooo watched, hundreds of heavily armed men came swarming up to the caravan, shouting and bellowing to wake the dead. "I-it's too soon for the hand-off," Emerald Princess babbled. "Yup," Finn replied. "These are the guys who're going to take the ransom over your dead body." The lead guard stared at him. Finn shrugged. It was what it was. The captain turned to his mistress and asked, "what shall we do?" "We can't let them take it," Aysun howled! "This is the ransom! They'll let the Lich go free." Finn rolled his eyes. Boneface was already free. His buds were trying to keep dude bottled up. This airhead and her friends were making that harder than it needed to be.

As Finn fingered the flask in his left hand, the pack of blood-thirsty killers swarmed up to them. They were bold and confident, which Finn might have expected. Many of them had firearms, and the Emerald dudes only had swords and a few bows. It was about as lopsided a fight as you could get. Their leader smugly approached, saying, "we're here for the treasure." As if she still believed she was rescuing the world, Aysun asked, "are you the envoy of the Mother of Thieves?" _Cute,_ thought Finn. _Mother of Thieves._ He'd have to hand it to Penny. While he was stuffing his sword down her throat. The bold rascal frowned a moment. Turning to the man next to him, he asked, "Mother of Thieves? Jon, do you know any mother of thieves?" The other thug shrugged in eloquent ignorance. Leveling his weapon at Aysun, the evil man growled, "hand over the treasure, or we might take it out of your hide!"

Just as Finn feared, these idiots barely knew how to aim the deadly weapons Penny had given them. The idiot's hand twitched on the grip, and he sent a steel dart flying at Aysun. Finn's defense-disc sprang into being in front of the screaming princess in an instant. "I don't think you want to continue this," said Finn. "Or," burbled the astonished thug. "I'm Finn the Human," the big man replied. "I'm sure you've heard of me..." Several of the men apparently had. One turned to slink away. A second stared at him in terror. The lead bandit retorted, "indeed we have. There's a reward for your head! Take him...!" "Have it your way," said Finn, as he flipped the cap off the flask.

There arose then a terrible howling wind. It swirled and whirled around the caravan with a ferocity Finn hadn't seen since he watched a tornado pass the treehouse. The air filled with stinging, blinding dust, leaving many there hacking and coughing. Finn existed in the eye of that terrible storm, watching as it smashed several of the wagons, picked up a couple of Emerald Guards, and flattened dozens of the bandits at once. When the whole biz had settled, the big man found himself in the middle of a cloud of dust that was, just now, slowly settling to the ground. "I don't know how you did that," wheezed the lead bandit, "but now you die!" He leveled his weapon at Finn and squeezed the trigger. And nothing happened. Indeed, when the bandit tipped his gun up to look at it, sand poured out of every nook and cranny.

Smiling, Finn caused one of his defense disks to materialize in the same space the chain on his cuffs occupied. Then a quick feint at the eyes of the lead Emerald Guard gave him back his sword. The fabled Finn Sword. Most everybody on Ooo had heard of it by now. Slicing through the bandit's gun with negligent ease, Finn the Human dialled his girlfriend with his free hand and said, "yeah, babe. Need the car." Hanging up the phone, the big man launched himself forward faster than the eye could follow. As Aysun cowered inside her carriage, Finn went to town on the bandits, cutting them down by twos and threes. At the same time, Cherry's armored limo came squealing to a halt behind the bandits. Up top, Lollipop blazed away with the twin guns there. Standing in the doorway, Billy and Star hurled blast-bolts and ice-storms at the bandits, slaughtering them in streams as they tried to deal with the threat behind them.

Off on the bandit's flank, the Bananas and Froyo-Guard set up shop with their crossbows and the few firearms Bonnie let the Bananas have and laid into the bandits, sending volley after volley their way. It was as brutal an ambush as the bandits themselves had planned. In short order many of the bandits were dead. Most of the rest fled. The remaining little knot of men was chased as far as the ocean where some drowned trying to get away. All that remained was the cleanup.

Returning to the caravan, he quickly took stock of the situation. Several wagons were smashed, but enough remained to haul the treasure back to the ocean to be returned to Aysun's kingdom. Some of the princess's guards had gone to the great beyond, but most still lived. He wasn't happy about that, but he wasn't going to quibble. They were alive, and Aysun hadn't supplied Penny with money to buy an army for boneface. Indeed he was pleased to see the princess herself was unhurt as he approached her carriage. At the same time, Cherry's limo came roaring up, screeching to a halt beside the carriage.

Up top, Lollipop stood in the hatch with a half-rusted green helmet perched on her head at a jaunty angle. She smiled down at Finn and waved as the door opened to reveal the Mafia Princess in all her glory looking as though she'd just been going on a country drive with her chauffeur. As she stepped down, Aysun immediately lit into Finn, shouting about his defiance of a Council Edict. Coolly, the big man reminded her, "these guys weren't interested in your Council vote, Aysun. They would have taken every penny and every stone you had. You'd have been lucky to escape with your neck. No chaperone would have saved you from what Penny planned for you."

Indeed the elder of the princess's two chaperones grimly nodded. The pretty princess lit into him again, shouting about the Envoy and insisting that he go searching for him. "I'm not doing that, Aysun," Finn retorted. "You're not buying Penny another army..." "He's right," Cherry agreed. "There's no emissary..." "You're his illicit _lover_ ," Aysun interupted. "You have no right to speak to me..." Finn lost all patience then. As the terrified guards looked on, the man who had vanquished a small army nearly single-handedly, reached for his belt.

Elsewhere, Brie came strolling up to her boss, heels click-clacking on the worn slate roof. The taller woman sat staring across the street at a blank stone wall. Brie knew she was tapping the power of the Amulet. She could feel it. Which pretty much meant Marcy would be experiencing the mother of all PMS moods. "The dudes in Engagement Ring kingdom are killing each other..." That was the defining quality of Marcy's gesture towards her friends and family. They were inducing strife among Ooo's gangsters, causing them to slaughter each other. Two-hundred had gone to Theo's quarry in the last three days! Penny was fit to be tied, which meant Marceline Abadeer was delighted.

Sitting down beside her, Brie stared at the blank wall too. "I didn't want this," she said. She was feeling the pain of regret. She'd made a rash choice. They both had. "Me either," Marceline replied. Taking her friend's hand, the Princess of Darkness said, "I can send you back. I can ask for clemency." Softly, Brie said, "I'm loyal if I'm anything, Marcy..." "That kid'll be ok, Brie," Marcy said, as she gave the former mobster's hand a squeeze. Smiling, she said, "when this is over, I have a new direction to go." The Night-O-Sphere was chock-full of the inadvertently damned. Did she get her way, some future would-be tenants would get scared straight. Moving on, Brie asked, "how's she handling it?"

With an airy wave of her hand, Marceline drew back the veil of space and time to reveal an enraged Penny standing on the table on the other side of that stone wall. She was in rare form, and every second word that left her lips was a vulgar cuss-word. A messenger lay crumpled on the floor in the rough uniform of the local courier service with a steel dart buried in his right eye. "Bad day," asked Brie? "Yup," chuckled Marceline. "She's been finding out about our handiwork. It'll get worse when she finds out what Finn did." The Princess of Darkness was in a merry mood, in spite of wearing the Amulet. Brie hated to spoil it. Unfortunately there was no clemency for the Anti-Glob. Having accepted the title, Marceline was stuck.

"Marcy," Brie burbled. "Yeah, babe," Marceline replied. "I... know how you're feelin'... about him...," the former gangster murmured. Marceline cut her off with, "you're going to say the same shit my dad said." "Marcy," Brie said, "it's true, babe. Ya gotta' let go. This... It's not going to end well. You can't stay, and you know it." "I can enjoy the next two-hundred years, Brie," she sighed. "I know I have to say goodbye. To both of them. I aim to enjoy the next two-hundred years best I can. I'm... I've already quit the music biz. I quit that tryin' to save Marshall. Now... I'm gonna' live for Finn and Bonnie. As long as I can enjoy their company." Brie nodded. Rising, she said, "see ya back home, toots."

Late that evening in Laurel Kingdom, Finn stood watch as the last of the wagons got loaded back aboard a barge for the trip across the straight to Emerald Kingdom. Aysun was already aboard, nursing a sore butt. Standing beside him, Cherry said, "that'll make things more difficult, honey..." Finn flushed. He'd lost his temper. Honestly he'd been seeing red. Aysun had been pressing his buttons, and he was already a little uptight about the thing with Penny and the Lich. Turning to face her man, the little woman straightened his belt and said, "she needed to learn, honey. That's the problem with all these little bitches. They think they own the world. Sometimes we all need a dose of reality." Finn leaned down and kissed her sweet lips. "Be careful, baby," she whimpered. "Nothing crazy." "Nothin' crazy," he swore.

While she was heading across to see that the Council's belated edict to secure the treasure got obeyed, Finn was headed for the Lich Container. One of Nadia's dudes was already waiting to take him. When he straightened, he found Lollipop standing there looking just as upset. Finn quickly grabbed her and presented her with a searing kiss that left her breathless. When he glanced down again, Cherry was gone. When he glanced back to Lollipop, she had turned and was walking away. This was starting to really suck. A lot. The constant goodbyes were painful. Flipping out his phone, he sent both girls a text message. Goodbye wasn't really goodbye. He had options until he was out of range of Emerald Kingdom.

Turning to his kids, he said, "see that they get settled. Then I want you on the job of tracking down the other half of bone-face. Baba Yaga says he's up near Alexia's capitol city. Get up there and get busy looking." All three nodded emphatically. Finn headed across to the aircraft. The texts flew fast and furious as the boat carrying his peeps crossed the ocean to Aysun's kingdom while Finn headed west to the Lich Container. Cherry and Lollipop both bombarded him with messages full of hope for the future. Both shocked him with the news that they hadn't been on the pill, having run out in the wilderness north of Purple Kingdom. Finn felt a shiver of fear and excitement both to learn that one or both might be preggers. He was thrilled by the idea of having another crop of kids to love. While he still had love for his adult kids, they were all moving on with their lives and would soon have no time for _him_. At the same time, neither woman was a spring chicken. After all the complications with Van's birth, he especially feared for Cherry.

 _One day at a time, dude,_ he told himself. _Take life one day at a time._ As he closed his phone on Lollipop's last 'I love you', the big man promised himself to get the pack of them together. They needed to talk. Especially 'number seven'. A shiver went down his spine as he realized Patrick might not be cool with this situation. _We're adults,_ he decided. _He'll need to get used to it._ Finn had struggled with that himself. He was _still_ struggling, but he was coming to terms with it. Stuffing his phone in his pocket, he leaned back, lay his head against the wall, and went to sleep.

The flying machine winged its way through the darkness towards the Containment Zone. Late that night, the machine passed the ominous sight of dozens of ships large and small bobbing in the dark waters east of the island. The pilot swung low, skimming the waves as he strove to get a good look at the strange armada. The ships flew no flag, telling the pilot all that needed to be said. Bandits. The enemy armada was near. As he climbed for altitude, a freshly awakened Finn asked, "who were they?" "The Lich's friends, I think," the pilot replied. Finn nodded. "How far," he asked? "A day," the pilot replied. "Maybe more." The pilot flew onward. He still had to deliver his cargo. Then he aimed to get away from this place. An hour later, the little craft set down on the frozen island that had become ground zero for the battle against the Lich.

Standing on the frozen airfield, Finn yawned and stretched, waking his body up. Shouldering his bag, he set out for the fortified lab where Bonnie and Nadia did much of their work. Crossing the field, he scanned the scene finding chaos and confusion. It was just as Cherry said. The Duke of Nuts was running amok. As his eyes scanned the scene, they locked on Breakfast Princess. She was coming towards him wearing a stylish parka in a golden brown like fresh toast. His mind immediately thought, _what the fuck's_ she _doing here?_ "Hey, Finn," she greeted him.

"Hey, BP," Finn replied. The name brought to mind the affection he used to have for this woman before she became a pain in Simone's ass. That had been one of the touch points Betty was constantly using to needle Simone. She had always been bugging Finn's wife in the early days–reminding her of the thing with E and suggesting that Simone really ought to be keeping tighter control over him. Betty had as much as said that Simone would find him in bed with Breakfast at some point. He was more than a little sad to realize that Betty had spent so much time and energy trying to make others feel the misery she felt inside. _Water under the bridge, Finn,_ he reminded himself. _We need each other to get through this, and what good would it do if we didn't?_ Their kids were getting married. They were going to be in each other's lives regardless.

"Need to say something," Finn said, as he stopped there. Breakfast stopped beside him, turning to face him as she did so. "I'm not going to be the guy who ends your marriage," Finn said. "I'm not going to give you what you want. I still want your friendship. We've known each other a lot of years, and our kids are married. I want to bury the hatchet." The beautiful princess frowned at him, but Finn didn't budge. "Friends," he offered, extending his hand. With a sigh, his almost-girlfriend took the gesture for what it was, agreeing, "friends..."

As they began walking, she admitted, "I'm not up for all the competition anyway." Finn blushed to his hair. Yeah, BP liked it, but she liked to be the center of attention not the other way around. "What brings you," he asked? "Business," she said with a smirk. "I honestly didn't expect to see you here. Everybody's been wondering where you were..." "Tracking the Lich," Finn replied. "I got a line on where he came from." When she might have asked what he meant by that, Finn put her off. They had arrived at the sort-of headquarters.

Bonnie was inside, bent over a piece of machinery, plying a soldering iron. The sun ray was failing more and more often now. The ugly battle where she'd had to bring the beams in close had taken it past its limits. She was faced with the unhappy choice of building a new one from scratch or struggling to keep this one running when she really didn't have the time for either. Straightening from taking a closer look at the device, she sighed heavily and said, "oh, Finn... Where are you...?" With a shrug, the big man replied, "right here, Peebles..."

Bonnibel Bubblegum spun around in her chair, her jaw coming unhinged as she stared at him. Almost dazedly, she stood up and stumbled closer as if she couldn't believe her eyes. Before Breakfast's eyes, Finn greeted his oldest of old flames by grabbing her shoulders and dipping her backwards. His hungry lips savored the taste of bubblegum as he kissed his woman thoroughly. Bonnie's heart fluttered in her chest as he let her up again. That was crazy! It was nothing like the shy, diffident boy who had ineptly pursued her all those years ago. He was _confident_. In point of fact, he looked right now as though he might very well devour her on the spot. It honestly made her a little creamy. As Finn considered having a piece of bubblegum to go with his lollipop and cherry soda, the door opened again, and Finn caught sight of his 'other' old girlfriend out the corner of his eye.

Eyes blazing, Phoebe growled, "look what you did to me!" Finn squeaked as he caught sight of his new/old girlfriend. She was good and knocked-up, with her belly swollen like a balloon. A twinkle in her eye told him she was teasing him, though. Grinning like a fool, Finn stepped forward, grabbed her by the ass and kissed her thoroughly. He didn't give two damns who saw, as he squeezed and caressed that glorious butt. Then, for good measure, he stroked her swollen middle. "Guess you don't care who knows that you caused that," Phoebe chuckled. "Nope," Finn replied. Breakfast rolled her eyes in disgust. These two didn't seem bothered in the least to be _sharing_ a man. She wouldn't have stood for it. She'd have put him in his place and pinned his ears back for even _thinking_ he could sleep around like this.

Moving on, Finn asked about what had been going on. Bonnie did her best to fill him in with Phoebe interjecting choice bits and Breakfast adding in what had been going on with the Council. It was an ugly picture of greed and dissension that nevertheless made him proud of his family. They'd been handling things pretty well while he was in the Lich's prison. Bonnie asked him what he had found, but Finn put her off. He wanted to go look in on Fionna and Patrick and see what was going on with the defenses. Phoebe volunteered to show him around, and, after a quick kiss for Bonnie and a promise to come back soon, Finn got on his way.

The elemental woman's excitement was almost palpable as the pair began their journey through the camp. Between pronouncements about what this or that faction was doing, his lady peppered him with ever more fanciful baby names. Finn humored her even as his mind sifted all that was wrong in the camp. The troops were too static. They were tied down to the fortified bastions the Duke had insisted on. He'd built the little mini-forts around all the forcefield generators and concentrated the remainder of the troops at the headquarters, abandoning the rings of fortifications that Fionna had laid down. It looked like a good strategy on paper. Each forcefield projector had its own little company protecting it and it alone. Finn recognized the strategy from Clash of the Humanoids, his favorite online strategy game. Briefly the big man paused as he realized he hadn't played in months. His castle was probably gone by now.

 _Videogame strategy doesn't work in real life,_ he thought, as he looked out at the nature of their _defenses_. Penny's dudes could gang up on each little fort and take them out one by one. None of the forts were close enough to get help from a neighbor. In short, the whole thing would fall apart when push came to shove. "Don't worry, Finn," said Phoebe. "Bonnie and I have a backup plan." Finn nodded, but he wasn't sure he would like the backup plan. The last plan had seen Phoebe making use of every ounce of power she had to repel the attackers. With her five months gone, that was a danger.

As they walked away from the last fort, Finn interrupted Phoebe's endless pondering of what to name their baby. "Cole," said Finn. Phoebe frowned at him. "Is that a joke," she demanded? Finn had often teased her about her diet. "Nope," said Finn. "It's a play on words. Cole is a human name. I looked it up in the library." It also sounded like something a fire elemental might wear as a name. Phoebe blushed to her hair. That was... _brilliant_. "What would you have called our baby if it was a girl," she asked? With a shrug, he replied, "Ember." She loved those names. Grabbing him by the face, she gave him a true scorcher of a kiss that left his lips a little raw.

Patrick coughed to alert them that he and Fionna were there. Finn blushed and grinned at the pair. Fionna's expression was frosty. "Hey, Fi," he greeted his oldest daughter. "Where have you been," she shouted?! "They told me you were missing!" After the fact, of course. They'd waited until he'd come out of the Door Lord's sanctum before telling her that he had been trapped inside for four months. Fionna had screamed at Bonnie for over an hour in a very ugly scene. Grabbing him by the collar, Fionna shook him hard enough to rattle his brain in his skull. "They killed moms, and they almost killed you," she howled! "I-I'm ok, Fi," Finn babbled. The pretty blonde turned and stormed off, which said something about the emotional strain she was under.

With a sigh, Finn said, "I'm sorry..." "You're not the only one," Patrick rumbled. The two princesses had tried to hide the fact that he'd been part of the conspiracy, but he'd gone and told her anyway. He didn't want that kind of secret between them. Fionna hadn't spoken to Patrick in days. This was the first she'd opened up to him since she found out the truth. "Is she ok," Finn asked? "Brittle," Patrick muttered. "This thing with the Duke has been hitting her pretty hard." Finn nodded. He felt bad about that too. He'd given this to her, but he hadn't expected to leave it on her for _months_.

When Finn might have gone after her, Patrick said, "don't. I... she's not ready." She'd bounced between rage and deep sadness the last few days. With a sigh, Finn said, "your mom's alright, Pat. She's with Sarah. They're working their way through the Lich's stuff..." "So, you _did_ find something," Patrick murmured. Nodding, Finn said, "yeah, man. Your mom's a sharp lady." He thought about telling Patrick about the _other_ news, but this wasn't a good time. Shaking Pat's hand, Finn moved on.

Phoebe led him back to her quarters, declaring that it was time to feed him. The big man was grateful for that. As he sat watching, Phoebe had one of her few servants go out and get some things for her. Then she came back and sat with him to talk for a while. They chatted their way through her dinner and his breakfast. Finn was disgusted to learn just how 'day' and 'night' got reversed on the island. Penny's cowardly punks needed to pay, and Finn hoped to be there to cancel their debt.

After eating, the pair spent a while snuggling on the rock that served Phoebe as a chair. With his lady on his lap, Finn's strong right hand stroked the bulge in her middle that marked their child. The sensual feel of his touch was an unpleasant reminder of the downside of their little miracle. With a heavy sigh, Phoebe murmured, "I wish we could make love." Having finally had it, she missed getting sex far more than she had expected. Unfortunately, with so many things going on, she dared not shed her containment suit. "Peebles still working on your meds," asked Finn? Shaking her head, Phoebe sadly admitted, "we've been too busy with boneface..."

Finn kissed her burning lips and said, "it's not forever, babe. Hang on. I'll figure something out even if I have to go to the Maze again." Phoebe stood up and stepped back from him. "I guess you'll just bang Bonnie, huh," she murmured. Before he could say a word, she knelt down and grabbed his pecker through his pants. "Is it as good as what I give you," she asked? "I bet she's sticky and nasty..." Finn blushed to his hair. Phoebe told him in lurid terms what she thought he did with Bonnie, and he found himself wondering if Simone had talked about their private life. The thought left him strangely turned on. Stroking her handiwork with a fingertip, the Flame King said, "give my regards to Bonnie."

Walking awkwardly, Finn headed back across the headquarters to Bonnie's spot, passing the machinery of the sun ray on his way. Arriving at the entry to the tiny room she kept here, he called out to his first love to announce that he was here to see her. Inside, Bonnie felt a shiver of anticipation go up her spine. She'd rushed to get ready, and now he was back.

Laying down the brush she'd used to paint her plump, bee-stung lips, the pink princess stared down at the diaphragm. She wasn't on the pill at the moment. The logistics didn't really work out here on the island, and she'd expected to run out fairly quickly, so she just gave up. More to the point, while Finn had been trapped in the Door Lord's sanctum, there wasn't a lot of need. Who was there to get her knocked-up? Now, as her boyfriend waited for her to let him in, she stared down at the little rubber object. He wouldn't have any way of knowing if she wore it or not. She knew they were going to be intimate. The way he'd touched her in the lab said that Finn wanted to have her very badly. Taking a deep breath, the pretty princess took the rubber object off the table and tucked it back in her bag. Calling out to him, she said, "c'mon in, Finn..."

The big man came in and shut the door, locking it for good measure. Catching sight of the sexy pink nightie she was wearing had his little brother standing tall again. He was across the cramped little room in just a few breaths. His hands seized her slim body and pulled her to him, and he lay a hot kiss on her, seeming as though he would eat her up. At the same time, his big hands slowly caressed her, teasing her hungry body and reminding her of the last time they'd been together. It seemed like an eternity ago. "You smell so nice," he breathed, as he let her go. Bonnie blushed. She imagined she did smell good after days inside the dank confines of a dead man's trophy hall.

Cupping her face in his hands, he looked her square in the eyes and said, "I love you, Peebles. I always wanted to say it. Just like that." Her face went red hot. She'd done everything in her power way-back-when to chase him away and dissuade him from saying it. She'd thought she had Marceline back, but that was a dead end and always had been. They were about as toxic as toxic lovers got. "I _should_ have said it back then," Bonnie said. "I never gave you a chance. I... should have asked you to wait a little longer instead of turning my back on you. When you started dating Phoebe I was so jealous, I..." Finn didn't really want to talk about that. This wasn't the Door Lord's door, and he had missed her every day of those four months.

The big man picked her up and held her tight against him. Then he kissed his way across her cheek and down her slim neck. Hungry herself, Bonnie began to grind her hips against his, feeling the hard pecker that Phoebe had left him with. When they heard he was coming back to them, her friend had as much as said she was going to wind Finn up and send him to hunt Bonnie down. Now, as his hands pawed roughly at her body, suggesting he had been starved for affection, she couldn't help wondering what her friend/rival had done.

Sliding down her feverish body, Finn inhaled her scent as he kissed the bare flesh between her plump boobies. Down and down he went, kissing her flat stomach, and even teasing her belly-button with the tip of his tongue. Pressing his face against her crotch, he inhaled her musk, while he squeezed her big butt. Biting her lip, Bonnie sighed heavily. "Finn," she whined. "You're teasing, baby... Don't tease me..." Standing up again, he grabbed her and shoved her onto the bed. Grabbing her ankles, he jerked her long legs apart and stuck his head under her nightgown. "Oooaaa," she howled! "Finnnnn... Y-you do it better than..." "Better than _who_ , Peebles," he said, his voice teasing. Her face was red hot. _He knew!_ Finn went right back to what he had been doing, teasing her hot box and getting her hot as a fire-cracker. By the time he let her go over, she was ready to scream or kill him or both.

Straightening from working her over, he asked, "want your toy, PB?" Panting, her face covered in sweat, and her hair askew, Bonnie kicked him in the thigh. "You jerk," she growled! Finn stood up and began to strip, baring the hard body she'd spent many a night fantasizing about. When he uncovered her toy, the pretty princess was rested and eager to go again. She ordered him to lay down. Then, straddling his waist, she said, "and what do _you_ want, Finn?" "I want bubblegum," he retorted. "Original flavor. I want to get a big handful of that big, bubble-butt of yours, while you ride my pecker." Bonnie moaned in heat at those nasty suggestions as she sank down the fat dong.

When Bonnie had bottomed out on his dick, Finn did just what he'd suggested. Grabbing a handful of ass, he began to squeeze and rub her big, round bottom while he kissed every inch of those plump boobies, teasing and licking at them and even giving the tips a nibble now and again. It was almost like he wanted to eat her up. Hungry as she was, it didn't take Bonnie long to reach her climax, and she pinched his shoulders hard enough to hurt. And then, no sooner had the first one come than she was reaching for the next. It was some of the best she'd had. Finn could last a long time, and he would get her off over and over again until she was exhausted.

The pair kissed, and she found herself wondering if he'd screwed Cherry or Lollipop. It was crazy to think that he had kept all that going, but a twisted corner of her mind wanted to _try_ them too. What would he say if he watched her and Marcy get it on? She wondered. She really wondered. They were in an open relationship. Why not? The thought of going at it with Marceline in front of her formerly straight-laced boyfriend ignited a surge of lust in her heart that sent her careening over the edge again. She wanted to do it now. She wanted to fuck Marcy in front of Finn to see his reaction, and she wanted to invite him to join in. Lots of guys fantasized about it. Why not?

Reaching down between them, Finn began to rub her button as she continued to ride his dong. His mouth clamped down on her firm left booby, and he managed to suck hard enough to earn a squirt of mommy-juice. "Oooooh," she wailed, her fingers pulling at his hair. Finn grimaced. It was a wonder he wasn't bald. He'd thought of cutting his hair a time or two when Simone was really into clawing at him. That thought almost shut him down right there, but he kept on keepin' on. Simone was gone. He'd lost her, but he had Bonnie and the others. Life went on.

Throwing Bonnie on her back, Finn shoved her knees up by her head, and now he really began to screw the shit out of her. Her cries could be heard as far as Phoebe's quarters as Finn rode her, while he continued to play with her plump boobies and rub her joy button. Thrashing and screaming at him, Bonnie went over one last time before collapsing in a heap. She felt Finn shooting off inside her vulnerable snatch just before he slumped down on top of her.

It wasn't long at all before Bonnie was fast asleep. That said something about how much tension she was under. She usually outlasted him, wanting to stay awake chatting and snuggling. Laying beside his beloved princess, Finn thought about his other ladies. He wished he'd been able to sleep with Betty and Sarah before he left them. Strange as it was, he was becoming more comfortable with the way things were and seeing this as the way things were _going to be_. As Bonnie shifted in her sleep, Finn thought of Phoebe and realized that, if they couldn't have sex, she could snuggle with him. Slipping out of bed, he slipped on his pants and shoes, grabbed his sword, and headed out to Phoebe's quarters.

He wasn't sure what he was going to say. Phoebe knew about how things had worked in his house when Simone and E were alive. At the same time, he was kind of asking her to do something that was a little _odd_. She'd be literally in bed with the competition. It wasn't like they were both doing it with him at once, but he could see where it might _feel_ like that. _No help for it but to ask,_ he decided. "Ask me what," Phoebe asked? She was standing outside, looking up at the sun. Grinning, Finn said, "to come and snuggle."

Just as he'd guessed, she gave him the frown. That was a little beyond for Phoebe. "Nothing like that," he told her. "Simone and E and I did it all the time. Just for the company. And heat when it was ten below outside." Blushing a little, she admitted, "it _is_ a little cold." Taking a deep breath, she said, "alright. As long as Bonnie's ok with it." "Ch'yeah, man," said Finn. "C'mon." "Lemme' get my blankets," Phoebe temporized. She was still wearing the containment suit, but she didn't want to Bonnie's blankets up. Finn followed her back into the section of the headquarters that housed her little delegation and straight into her quarters. And that's where they saw him.

Cinnamon Bun had his back to them, and he clearly had Phoebe's medicine jar in his hand. That was odd and worrisome enough. When he took a bottle from his sword belt and drizzled something into the jar, Finn's worry went over the edge to stark fear. Indeed Phoebe's gasp of terrified astonishment had the bulky candy-person spinning around to face them. As if he _hadn't_ seen Cinnamon Bun sabotaging his girlfriend's medication, Finn amiably said, "hey, buddy. Need you to put Phoebe's meds down..."

He could see the calculation in CB's eyes. He was caught. There was no pretending that he hadn't been doing what they'd seen him do. Glaring at him, Cinnamon Bun drew his sword. "You're not worthy of her," growled the talking pastry. Now Finn saw. Things had been pretty flippin' awkward when it was _Cinnamon Bun_ that Phoebe chose when her dad's henchmen freed him. Finn had nursed anger and hatred for _years_ after that. Eventually he'd moved on, and he'd come to a friendship with Phoebes. Now, after twenty years, they'd come full circle.

"Look," said Finn, "I know how hard this is, CB..." His rival lashed out. Phoebe screamed as Finn dodged out of the way. He was faster than Cinnamon Bun. He always had been. The curse made certain of that. Still, Cinnamon Bun didn't give up. He continued to go after Finn, and the candy-person wasn't stupid. He was maneuvering Finn to a place where he couldn't dodge. Overcoming her shock, Phoebe shouted, " _Cinnamon Bun_?!" The candy person stopped right where he was, and, for a moment, Finn thought they could get out of this without more violence.

"C'mon, buddy," said Finn. Sweet talking the big pastry-dude, he said, "we can get this straightened out, CB..." Of course there was no real hope of that, and everyone there knew it. Finn had been prepared for the candy person to lunge, and lunge he did. However, he didn't lunge at Finn or his former girlfriend. Instead, he lunged at the window, shattering it, and then he was diving through to freedom. As Cinnamon Bun fled the camp, Phoebe burst into tears. Finn gathered her in and held her. "He tried to kill my baby, Finn," sobbed the elemental woman!


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 47:

It had taken over an hour to get Phoebe calmed down with Bonnie and Finn both doing their best to try and talk her down after that terrible revelation. Laying awake between the two women, Finn did his best to sleep, but he was having very little luck at it. He felt like he should feel _guilty_ about this. He felt like he should be tracking down CB to apologize for stealing his girlfriend. At the same time, he hadn't really done anything. What should he have said to Phoebe? Fuck off. Go back to your donut-boy.

Every time it seemed like he was going to get his topsy-turvy life under control, something new came along to upset the applecart, and more often than not, it seemed to be a girl. There were moments he thought he ought to swear off girls. He'd tried that when he was seventeen and in recovery from being burned first by Bonnie and then by Phoebe. _Yeah, right,_ he thought. _Like that could even work._ He would just have to break the news to Patrick when this was over and work things out with them. He needed to sit the family down again. There were maybe two more kids on the way, and he already had a grandson. Feeling Phoebe snuggle in closer against him–feeling the bulge that marked their child–reminded him of a central truth. _Love conquers all, bud,_ he reminded himself.

After resolving to just get things straight, the big man finally drifted off. It hardly seemed he'd been under more than a few minutes when the sound of a blaring siren woke him once again. Finn came awake with a start, sitting up in the darkness to the sounds of a battle. Penny's dudes were here. Shaking off sleep, the big man was up and out of bed in one fluid motion. As Bonnie watched in amazement, he was into his clothes and out the door in just a few breaths. A corner of her mind wanted to experiment on the curse–to see how it worked. Mostly, though, she was terrified for the man she loved like life itself. "C'mon," said Phoebe. "He can't do this by himself." The elemental girl climbed out of bed and began gathering on her own clothes.

Outside, Finn stopped and took a good long look at what he was seeing. There were a lot of them. It was the largest group of dudes he'd ever seen in his life. The largest real army he'd ever seen at one sitting was about a thousand, and that had been scary big. Now he had maybe ten times that number, and a good number of them would be wizards like his late wives. _But you have no choice,_ he thought. They weren't here to talk. They were here to free boneface. Rushing towards the first little fort in the line, Finn arrived to find the defenders–some of Ragnhild's Froyo Guard–firing away with crossbows and cannon and even a few captured firearms. They were making a sizable dent in the lead element, but they weren't knocking them down fast enough. Indeed, even as Finn watched, a blast bolt slammed into the little fort, killing several of Froyo's dudes at once.

The big man rushed into the gap, blocking the attackers' way. Business got grim for a time there as that army of madmen piled up on him, breaking over him like a wave against a breakwater. Finn deployed his defense disks judiciously, blocking his back and using the rest to block incoming darts and blast-bolts and anything else they could throw his way. Then he did slice-and-dice on whoever got close enough. In the early going, he had the bodies piling up in front of him and even under his feet as he struggled to stay atop the pile.

Inside the headquarters, Bonnie clutched the radio console in a white-knuckle grip. More even than those moments of terror where she thought she'd lose Fionna and Patrick, the sight of all those bodies piling up in front of Finn, swarming him like an army of wolves against a stag, had her close to screaming. She could hardly make herself look, and she wasn't the only one. Phoebe alternated between turning her back on the whole thing and pacing the floor. She wouldn't look directly at it. That would be the death of her child, and she knew it.

The tide ebbed on the screen, as the bandit army decided to try its luck elsewhere. Bonnie watched grimly as the fight played out. Finn had been all too right. The Duke of Nuts' strategy was a poor one. He'd spread their defenses out and made them more vulnerable. Fionna's trenches had been the perfect defense against men armed with firearms. Now, as the wood nymph wizards plied their spell-craft, one wall after another got blasted asunder, revealing the men inside. Banana Guards, Breakfast Guards, and Froyo Guards all got slaughtered as the bandits clawed their way forward.

Leading a flying squad of the handful of wizards who'd agreed to help them, Patrick came at the enemy from the flanks, darting in, hurling blasting spells and ice-magic, then darting away before the enemy could respond. With Patrick and Finn to aid them, the defenders killed _hundreds_. They left them stacked deep before each of the forts on the south side of the island. Unfortunately, Bonnie well knew that Penny had many, many more. As the battle on the south side of the island devolved into a series of confused and bitter little battles–often swirling around a broken wall or an opening in the defense–a second attack force came in from the northwest.

This was the crux. The bandit army was overrunning their defenses, and even Finn couldn't kill them fast enough to matter. With a pack of wizards thrown into the mix, the fight was becoming even more lopsided. They were slowly taking out the Froyo-Guard's artillery–really the only thing even slowing them down right now. Phoebe turned to Bonnie. This was the crux. She had agreed that they shouldn't reveal what they'd done until there was no other choice. "Well," she said. "I think we can safely say push came to shove, Bonnie." Nodding grimly, the bubblegum princess walked over to the tarp-covered console that had been freshly installed in their headquarters. As she did, Phoebe pressed the button on the intercom and called out to Fionna. "Fi," she said. "It's time."

Bonnie was removing the tarp from the top-secret doohickey when the leggy blonde came through the door. Fionna shivered in fear. This was something even her dad hadn't been allowed to know. Bonnie had revealed it when Cherry-puss came with her ugly news, and she'd dragged Fionna in and sworn her to secrecy. The blonde had been the public face of Bonnie's very bold lie. She'd told Ernie that the strange shipping boxes were for pieces of the Lich-container. She'd gotten him to believe it over drinks in the little pub that was on the island. Only four faces there knew just what this was about.

Turning to Fionna, Bonnie motioned for her to come over. "Put your hand on the sensor," she said. "Like before." With a gulp, Fionna did just that. "Reading, Fionna Mertens, Acting General of the Princess Privy Council," the machine intoned. "I am Fionna Elizabeth Mertens," Fionna replied. "Daughter of Finn and Simone Mertens, Acting General of the Princess Privy Council. Authorization: Patrick 5-7." "Authorization accepted," the machine replied. Fionna stepped back and watched as egg-hair stepped up and put her hand on the machine.

Breakfast Princess's chest rose and fell, showing her terror as the machine announced, "reading Breakfast Vandroogenbroeck, Princess-Minister of Sustenance of the Princess Privy Council." Taking a deep breath, Breakfast Princess replied, "I am Breakfast Vandroogenbroeck, daughter of Jenever Vandroogenbroeck, Princess of the Breakfast Kingdom, acting Minster for Sustenance of the Princess Privy Council. Authorization: Flamande 3-3-5." "Authorization accepted," the machine replied.

Now it was the Flame King's turn. Stepping boldly forward, she put her hand into a receptacle in the side of the machine, and her arm glowed more brightly for a moment. "Reading King Phoebe Okonski, Princess-Minister of War of the Princess Privy Council," the machine announced. Boldly, Phoebe declared, "I am Phoebe Okonski, daughter of Gerik, and King of the Kingdom of Fire. I am acting Minister of War of the Princess Privy Council. Authorization Cinnamon Bun, 8-7-3-3." "Authorization accepted," the machine replied.

Finally Bonnie stepped up. Placing her hand on the sensor, she declared, "I am Bonnibel Bubblegum, born Bonnibel the Nameless, founding member of the Princess Privy Council, and acting First-Minister. Authorization: Finn 2-2-6. Strike. Strike. Strike." As she uttered the last word, the machine began to hum. The hum filled the chamber as the signal went out. All around the island, the containers that had been stacked and stuffed into every conceivable corner of the island began to open.

At first both defenders and attackers stared. Finn had seen the containers, but he'd had no idea what they were, and nobody had bothered to enlighten him. Now, as the big man dodged bursts of sorcerous flame from one of E's peeps, the boxes began to disgorge war machines. They reminded Finn of nothing so much as demonic versions of Rattleballs with molten globules where the gumball-bot's abdomen had been. He hadn't seen the candy-robot in fifteen years. Whenever he'd asked, Bonnie dodged the subject or simply refused to discuss it, so he'd let it go. Now he began to wonder if this wasn't the secret business Phoebes and Bonnie had spent so much time on these last twenty years.

Wielding whips and swords of flame and blasting guns that reminded him of the ones his dad's dudes had, the war machines strode forward and began to grimly slaughter every bandit in sight. They cut them down with a ruthless efficiency that belied the grace Rattleballs had shown Finn. These machines were like his old friend, but taken up sixteen notches to scary. Now, as he watched one machine grimly impale a wood nymph on its sword, he found himself understanding why Bonnie had dismantled Rattleballs' bros. This was war taken almost to the level of evil, and he didn't really like being a part of it.

Stepping up alongside him, one of the machines inquired, "Captain Finn. How may we be of service?" Shaking off his shock, Finn told dude, "the forts are the key. We gotta' get the bandits away from them. They'll smash the forcefield machines if we don't." "Command acknowledged," the machine replied. Sixty of them turned almost as one and double-timed it to the nearest fort, cutting a swath through the enemy as they did so. Finn trailed along behind them, dispatching anybody who might be laying for them and hoping to escape their fate.

The killing went on across most of the night, with the bandits eventually breaking and running for the ships that brought them. Apprised of the ugly slaughter that was occurring on land, many of those ships pulled up anchor and backed away into the darkness, taking themselves out of what they felt was the danger and abandoning Penny's army on the shore. Not that it gained them much. The death-bots climbed to the top of a hill to get range and line of sight and laid into the fleet, sinking dozens of boats at one go.

By the time the sun had risen, the island was covered in an eerie calm only broken by the occasional whine of a motor as Bonnie's killer machines walked their grim patrol. There were corpses everywhere as Finn surveyed the damage, and too many were friendlies. Finn, his heart bleeding from the sight of so much death, wandered the field for hours doing his best to find survivors. The only thing that seemed to cushion the blow was the fact that the forcefields were still up. As noon rolled around, the big man found himself summoned before the Privy Council.

It was an ominous development that threatened to send the Hero of Ooo spiraling into a deep depression. Grim-faced, the big man walked into Bonnie's lab/office to find a very pale Nadia there waiting with Bonnie and Phoebe. "Here to arrest me," Finn asked? Nadia flinched. Phoebe replied, "we're _all_ going, babe..." Flushing, Nadia corrected her, "Bonnibel is not to return to the Candy Kingdom. She is to go to Purple Kingdom, where she will remain as a guest of Princess Noemi." It was arrest and prison without the ugly name. That caused the room to erupt then. Phoebe would have gotten in her face, but Bonnie stopped her. Calmly, the oldest princess of them all told her young friend, "I anticipated this, Phoebe. Wildberry's always been afraid of me, and this is just the latest thing to bust her bubble." "But you need to be there to convince them," Phoebe whispered! "We said we'd do it together–that I'd back you."

Bonnie smiled. That had been the plan that was agreed to, but it had never been hers. She'd known going in that this would be the last straw. Wildberry had been screaming shrilly about having the Gumball Guardians dismantled for decades after all. "This isn't my time, Phoebe," Bonnie murmured. "It's yours. You're plenty competent, Phoebe. You'll just have to carry this." The younger woman looked stricken, but Bonnie was already moving on. Turning to her lover, she said, "Wildberry's gone powermad, Finn. You have to help Phoebe get through to the others." Finn swore he would. As token of her love for him, Bonnie insisted on a hug and kiss.

As she embraced Finn, the beautiful princess murmured, "I tried to make you another baby to love..." A startled Finn simply _stared_ at her when she let go. Turning to Phoebe, Bonnie insisted on hugging her too. Sniffing back molten tears, Phoebe did her best to hang tough. Turning to their colleague, Bonnie extended her hands stating, "I stand ready..." Glancing away, Nadia murmured, "it won't be me. She doesn't trust me anymore than you." After all, for a woman who wanted to keep all of Ooo in a technological dark-age, any unrestricted tech was dangerous.

At those words, a pair of bulky Berry Guards came in carrying shackles causing Finn to immediately tense up. Before the big man smashed them utterly, Bonnie stepped towards them. Smiling over her shoulder, Bonnie reminded Finn, "save our home, hero..." Then she went out the door with the two berries. "My ship will fly them," Nadia sighed. "She'll be safe as far as Noemi's palace." Finn stepped forward, saying, "then we better get moving." The sooner he was at Wildberry's place, the sooner he could get this whole thing swept under the rug.

As they exited the headquarters, they found the cowardly Duke of Nuts handing out orders to the remaining living guards. He'd taken off in the middle of the fight, and Finn had expected to find he'd swum to the mainland. Finn frowned in puzzlement. Phoebe muttered, "she made us shut the machines off, Finn." That news had Finn all kinds of irritated. He didn't like what had happened last night any more than anybody else did, but those machines had saved their butts!

Fionna intercepted him as they headed out towards Nadia's airship. "Daddy," she murmured. "What's going on?" "We're being punished for doing the right thing," Phoebe growled. Which did nothing at all for Fionna's fears. Finn stopped and hugged his child. "Need you to be tough, Fi," Finn told her. "Bonnie, Phoebes, and I are goin' to Wildberry's place..." "You smash that bitch, daddy," Fionna howled! Which was serious talk coming out of Fi's mouth. She'd always had affection for Wildberry. Of course that had been before the Duke of Nuts showed up and started bossing them around and wrecking things. Finn shushed her. "We got most of Penny's dudes," he reminded her. "But she's not out of this yet. Need you to hang tough and take care of the peeps here. Numbnuts there isn't going to get it done." Fionna swore she would. Nadia cleared her throat. They needed to be going. Wildberry had been very clear about the cost of delay. Fionna was forced to watch as her father and the two surrogate mothers who'd been helping her cope these last few months were snatched out of her life and taken off to an unknown fate.

Aboard one of those ships, Nadia Ivanova stood at the doorway staring at the man she had hoped would be her mate some day. This was certainly not helping her win his heart. At the same time, she wasn't sure what else she could have done. Wildberry and her cohorts had wanted to send soldiers to arrest everyone. She'd made noises about invading the Candy Kingdom and shutting down Bonnie's laboratories and machines by force of arms. She'd even suggested that she would start taking things out on the candy monarch's allies on the council. Nadia had managed to deflect the hostile council from that decision, but it hardly felt like a victory with one of her most important allies gracing another Princess's dungeon.

"I'm sorry," murmured Nadia. "Save it," Phoebe retorted. Finn took her hand and gave it a squeeze, and the hostile Flame King subsided. They were in deep trouble with several allies in the dock or out of touch. Making more enemies wasn't going to help them. "What's the mood of the council like," Finn asked? With a heavy sigh, the proud princess admitted, "it is as you say, Finn. They are frightened. They make decisions out of fear, and Wildberry is fanning the flames of their terror and reaping the benefits. Where once they saw a savior, they now see a danger as great as the Lich."

When Phoebe would have shot to her feet, Finn held onto her hand and kept her from getting up. Clasping her fingers in both of his, Finn gently stroked the long, thin fingers, in spite of the painful heat. Under his gentle touch, the Flame King slowly calmed down, her molten flesh becoming cooler and firmer to the touch until she was as she had been moments before. Sensing that she was creating a dangerous conflict that could literally burn the ship, Nadia spun on her heel and returned to the cockpit. "We were getting along," Phoebe muttered. "Why'd this have to happen now?" Finn blushed. It had always been his hope that Phoebe and Bonnie would learn to get along. Lately, that dream had expanded to encompass all seven of the madwomen in his life. "Focus on the baby," Finn reminded her. "That's what Peebles would want." Blushing a little, Phoebe nodded.

The airship flew across the waves, making landfall within hours. Hours after that, they were walking down the boarding ramp in the chill air of Wildberry Kingdom's capitol. Once upon a time Finn had really enjoyed coming here. He and Jake had laughed and joked and screwed around with both the people and the location. A steady stream of terrible incidents and accidents over the last twenty years had acted to change that until now he dreaded the sight of this place. The Berry Kingdom seemed to have changed that night Jake took it too far with Wildberry. The whole place now had a creepy vibe to it. When you added in the whole 'meat' thing, well it made the big man a lot creeped out.

A cavalcade of official vehicles was waiting on them, and they got swept up and hauled away almost as soon as they left Nadia's airship. Minutes later, they were walking up the stairs to Wildberry's palace, and Finn was mentally preparing himself for the grimmest and most dangerous fight of his life. That was how he thought of it. He was going into a fight with one of his oldest friends, and he wasn't sure he could get to the other side of it without losing something that had been rather precious to him. He didn't fear death. He'd never been afraid of losing his life. He'd had his life on the line so many times, he'd lost count. What he did fear was the possibility of having to slay somebody he once cared for because, at the end of the day, Ooo was all that really mattered to him.

Wildberry was up on her throne, and Finn's hackles immediately went up. Bonnie _never_ did that. He'd seen BP do it a couple of times when the Princess Meeting was held at her place. He'd seen Laurel Princess do it kind of a lot. It always struck him as kind of the wrong thing to be doing. If the princesses were all equals, why the act? If some princesses were more equal than others, that sort of suggested to him that the only people who really had that right were Bonnie, Marcy, and Simon. They were the oldest royals on Ooo.

Stopping before that dais, Phoebe murmured, "aren't _we_ cozy..." Finn told his lady, "go sit, babe. Remember. Cole comes first." Blushing, Phoebe nodded and turned aside, heading for her seat. "Where do you think _you're_ going," demanded Wildberry? "To her seat," Finn replied. "What's this about, Wildberry?" Face hot, the little princess demanded, "you think you can speak to me that way?" With a shrug, Finn replied, "free planet. You don't _own_ me..." Wildberry pondered that a moment. Waving dismissively, she said, "fine. Sit." Nadia and Breakfast took the opportunity to slink to their chairs and sit down as well.

Coolly, Wildberry said, "a grave violation of the Peace of Ooo has been committed. I have called for an investigation into the parties involved." Frowning, Finn asked, "what does that mean?" In irritated tones, the berry-person growled, "the Peace of Ooo is designed to prevent wars by preventing anyone from amassing weaponry. It has served Ooo well for centuries. Now someone has gone out and created death machines. The treaty has substantial penalties for that crime, and I will see those responsible stripped of their crowns and punished!" That was plain enough. Finn thought that Peebles was in very serious trouble because it was clear that she _knew_ this was coming.

Rising, Ragnhild asked to be recognized. Leaning her chin on her hand, Wildberry waved for her annoying colleague to speak. The bitch's brain had been turning to mush since she started banging Finn's kid, and she was showing an annoying tendency to think with her cunt just like a lot of these dingbats. Smoothing her skirt, Ragnhild said, "these are grave charges. I think it behooves us to give our colleagues the time it needs to prepare a proper defense. It seems unreasonable to begin proceedings in this manner." Wildberry rolled her eyes. As if there was any doubt that Bonnibel had done this. "Very well," said the berry-person. There was an evil smile on her face, and Finn feared that she was hoping to get more people in the net. "We will adjourn and formally reconvene tomorrow," she said as she hopped down from her throne.

Meanwhile, near the Lich Containment Zone, the captain of Penny's invasion fleet stood staring in the direction of the island in a state of shock and despair. He was a dead man. He'd promised that he could get this done, and with dozens of ships loaded with soldiers, he _should_ have succeeded. Instead, he'd delivered complete failure. He'd had thousands of troops, and they'd landed ashore with little opposition. The grand strategy of drawing the defenders out of position had worked finally, and the army had been poised within striking distance of Princess Bubblegum's forcefield.

And then the death machines arose.

Success had been within his grasp when the first reports came in. Metal machines packing insane firepower that beggared what his army could offer had swarmed through the ranks, slaughtering his men at random. The rout had been swift and total with only a few handfuls of his men getting back to the ships alive. He'd even lost some of those. The machines had sunk two dozen in the darkness, and he'd been forced to sail out to sea to escape, moving beyond the horizon to have some hope of saving the remnant. The question on everyone's mind at the moment? What did they do now?

"Sir," announced his lieutenant! The bandit lord glanced up from the deck, wondering as he did so what fresh disaster had appeared on the horizon. Could those machines now _swim_? That was when he saw the fire-wolf. The creature came swooping down low over the ship, revealing a strange, bulk figure riding its back. A chill went down the captain's spine. The people of the Fire Kingdom were in league with Princess Bubblegum. Were they going to attack now? It seemed mad when he was hundreds of miles out at sea, but that had been true of the death machines too. "B-battlestations," stammered the shocked and terrified captain.

The lieutenant turned to shout for the crew to come to battlestations, but he never made it. A scorching blast of flame ended his life. Momentarily, the figure atop the fire wolf had leapt to the deck before the hapless Captain, his fist clutching a razor-edged shard of steel. His eyes blazed with menace, and the bandit lord tried to become one with the railing in his hunger to escape. Almost contemptuously, Cinnamon Bun sliced off his head, sending the melon-shaped appendage rolling and bouncing down the stairs to the deck below. Turning to the frightened men there at the wheel, the massive candy-person growled, "take me to your leader."

Hundreds of miles away, Billy and Star Mertens stood staring up at the mountainous fortress-capitol of Laurel Kingdom. The Lich was here–at least in part. Their job was to track him down. "Shouldn't be too hard," muttered Billy. "A giant walking mass of vines should be easy to find." The humor was dry and caustic, but it was helping them both cope. Especially given that Star had punched her mother in the mouth the last time she'd seen the older woman. With a glance up at her big brother, the little woman stepped forward. It was time to get busy and get this done.

As they trudged along through the chill air, Star asked, "what do we know about Princess Alexia?" "Besides the fact that she banned dad from the kingdom," Billy replied? That made the little wood nymph laugh. Their father was a likable dufus even when he was being a jerk. It was odd to think of a princess wanting to ban him. More to the point, he was the one person on Ooo who never seemed to have a dog in the fight. If he was asking you to do something, it was usually for your own good. Why ban him? "Princess Bubblegum said something to Fi," Billy murmured. "I won't go into the specifics of it... but I guess the essential problem isn't that dad changed. He didn't. He's still the same man he always was. The world changed around him, and all the fairy-tale princesses grew up."

He was _living_ that. He was dating one of his father's old flames, crazy as it seemed. Thinking about the way things were with Ragnhild, he was sure things _couldn't_ have been the same between her and his father. Finn had never changed, and, while some saw it as never growing up, Billy saw it as being true to the man he was inside. On the other side of that coin, Ragnhild was _scarred_. She was deeply scarred by the world she'd lived in and the life she'd been living. She was edgy sometimes and defensive about her space–especially when it seemed he was getting a little too cozy with Anders. Other times, she was imperious with him, ordering him around like he was a flunky. At least she had been until he made it perfectly clear where that was going to lead them.

Things were better now. They were getting better all the time, and, strange as it seemed Billy had grown up too. He'd lived the fairy-tale with JJ. He'd glossed over the problems and ignored the very real negatives that had lain between them. When he looked back on that crazy two years of his life, he could see the signs–all the subtle ways she'd tried to tell him what was wrong with her. His lady had tried to warn him off. In the early going, she would push him away as often as snuggle. Now he had his eyes open, and he saw the world a lot more clearly.

He still believed. He still thought a good man could find a good wife, settle down, and be happy. He still thought that there was good and evil in the world. At the same time, he knew that just living was a lot more difficult than it seemed on the surface. It wasn't enough to be fast with a blade or a spell or a gun. It wasn't enough to say corny lines to your lady. There was a lot of real work involved in keeping his peeps safe and even more in keeping a family going. He was ready to go through that work, but he saw that the first step was finding the truth inside himself. "We need to find the truth inside Alexia," said Billy. "It's the only way, Star. She's not the girl that dad knew growing up. So who is she now?" Nodding grimly, the wood nymph added, "and who does she stand with?"

The capitol of Laurel Kingdom was a strangely beautiful place–white marble columns and elegant marble facades that seemed to grow out of the foreboding mountainside like stark white teeth from an inhuman jaw. It was a place that Star's mother had talked about often. She'd been here once upon a time, living her life. In the old days, when the kids knew little about the way the more active of their pair of mothers made her living, she'd suggested that she spent a lot of her time laying out in the afternoon sun and living the good life. Honestly, Star guessed that she was actually 'putting in work' for the Laurel Kingdom's gangsters. Some of the money that had put the kids through school may well have come from this place.

The streets were narrow, and the crowds contributed to the claustrophobic feeling of the place as the Mertens siblings trailed Thor through the packed streets. Their mother had once said that the tight spaces made the heat more bearable in the summer, but Star never doubted for a moment that Emeraude Baudin was lieing on that score. She couldn't imagine her mother down here in the tight confines of these streets. The eternally paranoid Huntress Wizard would have been up _there_ , looking down on it all, even if it was hot enough to fry an egg. Honestly, these days the young woman was starting to empathize with her mother more than she had in the past. After just the taste of it she'd had the last two years or so, Star wanted nothing more to do with this life.

 _But we keep getting drawn in deeper,_ she thought. Billy, Fi, and herself. They were all getting drawn in deeper. Daddy needed her. He needed the three of them. The whole flippin' world needed them right now, but Star deeply wanted to sneak off and get away from all this. She wanted to drag Thor off somewhere quiet and make babies. _And we'd be happy for what? Months,_ she asked herself? Her dream was just that. It was just a fantasy right now. There was a whole heaping hell of reality between her and that dream. "Do we go," she asked? She nodded at the palace. "No," murmured Billy. "We dig around." Turning to his brother-in-law, Billy said, "get going. We'll go to ground and meet up later."

 **I will be unable to produce an update on the usual schedule. We're in a critical review at work, which means I have no free time at the moment. : Hopefully this will tide everybody over until I can get back on this.**


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter 48:

"I will give your words their due consideration," said Elbow Princess. Finn nodded. He'd been hearing that a lot the last few weeks. Usually it meant that they were going to ignore him and do what they were planning to do anyway. With a heavy-hearted sigh, the big man turned and got on his way. All the way down out of the palace and out into the streets of the Elbownian's capitol city, Finn reflected on how he'd gotten to this place. Doing the right thing sometimes seemed like it would cost him everything he had and then some. They had the Lich bottled up, and the women he loved had been instrumental in doing that.

And his supposed _friend_ wanted to murder his beloved girlfriend for the crime of providing the means to do it.

It was crazy. It didn't make sense any way he looked at it. Bonnie had provided them the means to save Ooo. She'd literally protected the world from the wrath of the madman who wanted to destroy everything. Now Wildberry somehow thought the world needed protecting from Bonnie. He'd tried talking her down from the ledge. When she refused to let him speak in the Council, he'd tried to speak to her behind closed doors. He'd even gone so far as to sneak into her private chambers. That had nearly gotten him banned from Wildberry Kingdom. So now he was out here on the margins, trying to sway the vote.

He had lost the cause of keeping Bonnie on her throne. The bitchy princesses had always envied the Candy Kingdom's prosperity, and it pleased many of them to see Bonnie kicked out of her castle again. It hardly mattered. If he had Bonnie alive and living with him in the Treehouse, he would be content. He'd build her a lab in back if she wanted it, but first he had to nudge things towards saving her life.

Out on the street, the big man turned and headed south towards the river where his hotel room was. The Elbownians had been doing a brisk business shipping mercenaries out of the wastelands down their river to the sea where Penny's dudes picked them up to take them to the Lich Container. Finn's actions and the actions of his family had disrupted and ruined that business, and there were a lot of angry voices in the Elbow Kingdom just now. It made the big man a little angry at Elbow Princess. He'd taken tax-money out of Bathilde's coffers from the boatmen who ferried the mercenaries. The princess seemed to think that this was all some stupid game the gangsters were playing. As if the Lich was a fucking joke that somebody could play with. He wanted to punch her lights out. He'd come very close to putting her over his knee and paddling her ass for being such a stupid bitch.

Taking the turns as one who'd come to know them, Finn prayed she would see reason. He just needed one vote. He thought he had enough to come close to tieing Wildberry, but he didn't want this to drag out with the princesses voting and revoting again and again until the hotheads got their way. Finn wanted it done in one so he could get Bonnie back home.

As he passed an alley, a familiar voice asked, "s'up, weenie..." Startled, Finn spun around to find Marceline standing there wearing a strangely _sinister_ smile on her lovely face. When she smiled now, it was impossible not to notice the absence of her fangs, even as her red eyes were burning into his. She was wearing ripped stockings under a short black skirt along with a black Goth tee with a soft, white blouse carelessly thrown on and tied in a knot below her boobies. Judging by the way her plump knobs swayed with every move she made, she hadn't bothered putting on a bra today.

He'd first noticed that when he was young, but he hadn't realized what he was looking at. He'd been almost _fascinated_ by the way Marcy's boobies swayed and jiggled. They were completely unlike Bonnie's that way. It was only later that he realized that Marcy would get lazy and decide just not to be bothered or decide that it was time to be a rebel and just go around showing them off to people.

The big man had been thinking of her off and on the last few weeks. He'd heard rumblings of a strange, dark-haired woman offering Penny's dudes an express ride to the Night-O-Sphere in exchange for earthly reward. He'd heard that a lot of dudes had taken the offer and ended up dead. The two stared at each other as Finn worked his way down through those thoughts. Suddenly striding forward, he grabbed her by the shoulders and shoved her up against the wall of the closest building. Leaning in, he whispered, "I've been hearing things." Taking a handful of her firm left knocker, he said, "you haven't been giving what's mine to Penny's gang-bangers?"

Marceline Abadeer gobbled soundlessly. She was _shocked_. Had he just? Before she could recover from that surprise, a bigger one was coming. Finn pressed her hot, hard body against the wall, shoved his knee between her legs and started working her over. His mouth on her lips, hand on her hip, rushing fingers squeezing her boobies through her blouse and tee-shirt. The big man made her hot, horny pussy grind against his knee, causing his beautiful nightmare to moan.

The big man jerked the tail of her tee-shirt up, exposing her plump boobies. Hefting the left one, he took note of her new _jewelry_ –fresh piercings done in the weirdly shiny hell-metal of the Night-O-Sphere. Glancing down at them, he would have sworn he saw demons or lost souls swimming in the blackened chrome. Marceline flushed as she realized what he was looking at. Bonnie had never liked her piercings. It was one of the _many_ things they fought over. Any fear of what he thought of them evaporated when he bent, slurped her left nip into his mouth, and actually gave the piercing a tug. The demon-girl whimpered, and her hips rocked back and forth, rubbing her hot button against his leg.

She was intensely horny after months of being cooped up _working_. Just the sight of him was enough to get the juices flowing. Now, as he launched and all-out assault–going from nip to nip, squeezing and tormenting her poor boobies like they were toys–she felt a blinding surge of lust. Tasting a dribble of cool mommy-juice, Finn swirled his tongue around her heaving booby to get the taste of it. He found it almost intolerably bitter but strangely invigorating. The more of it he tasted, the more he wanted her.

Pulling his leg out from between hers, the big man replaced that with his hand, jerking her skirt up to her waist to get access and exposing her to any itinerant Elbownians that might be going by on the street. Marceline moaned long and loud as she felt his fingers rubbing her and sliding in and out of her pussy. The big man turned his attention to the rest of her body, squeezing her hot ass and sucking and nibbling at her neck. Lost as she was in the moment, the sexy demoness didn't realize he was giving her a hickey until he'd done it. " _Bastard_ ," she whined.

More was coming. The big man snatched the soggy drawers off her, literally tearing them off her ass and tossing them aside. She found herself unceremoniously shoved face-first into the wall. The former Vampire Queen squealed when she felt that big dick get shoved up her snatch. "Y-you bastard," Marceline howled! Not that it stopped her from enjoying what she was getting in the least. Not that she didn't shove that beautiful ass back at him with each stroke he took. "Oooh... oooh... aaaaiiii," shrieked the demon girl as his hips slapped into her butt over and over again. Her hands clawed at the stone building, leaving claw-marks in the stone as he squeezed and kneaded her plump boobies, causing demon-milk to dribble out. " _Baby_ ," she wailed as she went over the edge! With a grunt, Finn shoved his pecker in deep and shot his wad, grinding his hips against her ass.

Panting like she'd run a marathon, the beautiful woman found herself staring at her boyfriend in shock. He'd never been like this before. He'd just _taken_ her. No asking, just telling. More was coming. Grabbing her by the wrist, Finn turned and stalked out of the alley, heedless of the way Marceline looked. One handed, she tugged down her skirt and pulled her tee-shirt back into place as Finn strode down the main street of old Elbowien.

The big man led her straight back to the humble hotel that he called home at the moment. Marceline found herself in a quaint, old-time elevator, taking a ride up to the top floor. Now she had a moment to collect herself and say some things that needed to get said. She had been doing a whole lot of thinking lately. In the Night-O-Sphere, there wasn't much else to do. She hadn't really been feeling the music thing, so when she wasn't overseeing the punishment of the deserving, she'd been in her dad's office. Brooding.

"Finn," Marceline said. "Yeah," he responded. There was a long, deadly pause–the sort of pause he associated with a girl saying some pretty heavy stuff. In an almost plaintive voice, she said, "I want to say some stuff..." The goth beauty flinched when he turned those hard blue eyes on her. At the same time, she needed to say this. She needed to be straight with him for once. "I'm... _I messed up_ ," she said. Instead of sounding matter-of-fact, it came out as a whine. Fighting the tears that wanted to fall, she told him about the Contract, and it's very spartan terms. "Baby, I'm goin' away," she whined, "and I barely had the chance to know you..."

Finn drew her into his arms and held her. "I wasted our time on games," she sobbed. "I wasted all our time on stupid games..." Finn laughed. Spinning her around, he snatched the blouse from her back and started scrubbing the ruined makeup from her face prior to tossing it aside. Chuckling, he stuck his hand up under her skirt and grabbed a handful of her ass. "This is mine," he declared, "and it so happens I know how to make a portal to the Night-O-Sphere..." The demon-girl blushed to her hair at that bald statement and all that it implied. The big man shoved her off the elevator and started walking. As they walked, the Hero of Ooo began removing articles of clothing from the eternally hard, _hot_ body of the Princess of Darkness.

Starting with her tee-shirt, Finn pushed his bitch up against the wall and snatched it off over her head, tossing it on the floor as he had a suck on those fine boobies. Then, dragging her off down the hall, he unzipped her skirt, letting it slide down her legs until it almost tripped her. Only then did her let her stop, and that was just long enough to have a taste of that nasty pussy. He even tugged on the piercing she had there with his teeth just for the fun of hearing her squeal. Having already lost her panties in the alley, Marcy was down to her heels, her ripped stockings, and her piercings as Finn dragged her the rest of the way down the hall to his room at the end.

Elsewhere, Fionna Mertens came walking along an icy beach, bundled into a heavy blue cloak that had been a gift from her moms once upon a time. Emeraude had bought the cloth with the clear intent of stitching it up, but she'd quickly found she lacked the skill. Simone had stepped in and, in the midst of fashioning the cloak for their older daughter, she'd taught her friend how to sew. Fionna felt like they were here with her when she wore it.

Striding along through the icy cold of the Lich Container, she stopped periodically to scan the sea. The ships had all been pulled back. That had been worrisome at first. Fionna had feared they were going back to get another load to have one more go at the island. With bubblebutt's war-machines reduced to little more than frozen hunks of candy-steel, she'd feared that the defenders here would just get wiped out. She'd had words with fucking Ernie over their situation. She'd wanted to pull the guys out of those stupid forts, but he'd insisted they stay right where they were. He'd overruled her, and it had taken all her will not to cut him up for fishbait right there.

Now she wandered. Every day she got up at dawn, and she wandered the island. Some people thought she was avoiding him. A _lot_ of people thought that. Some thought she was cheating on her fiancé. More than a few figured it had to be both. She would wander the island for hours, looking in on the forcefield machines and checking out the beaches. She'd been down here to the invasion site on dozens of occasions. At first Ernie tried to discourage that. He'd tried to give her orders and boss her around. Fionna simply made it clear to him that her time was her own. She wasn't one of his flunkies.

She'd won the argument, but she'd sort of lost the war. Nutjob had taken over the old headquarters, moving himself into Bonnie's old lab and tossing out a lot of her junk. Fionna had flinched and shuddered at every broken gadget and piece of glass that got tossed out. She'd wanted to cut his throat then. She had her problems with Bonnie Bubblebutt, but she didn't like what the bitches were doing to Bonnie. It wasn't fair. More to the point, she was a little worried about what he might or might not be doing to the Machine. Bonnie had left the control machine _here_. She'd had no choice. Now Ernie had control of it, and Fionna had been hearing _rumors_ of him trying to control the battle-bots.

He thought that it was as simple as giving himself an outlandish title and announcing himself to the machine. The loon. Even Fionna knew better than that. The machine _recognized_ her as having been given permission somehow. Bonnie had somehow made it understand Fionna's voice and even the touch of her hand. She had some vague notion that she might well be able to do the same thing since the machine _knew_ her, but she wouldn't have done it for _him_. More to the point, she knew better than to try with every hand turned against them right now. The machine was, in a way, safe. She couldn't use it to bring the battle-droids back to life, but nobody would be turning it against them either.

Coming down off the bluff and down a steep trail, following a path that thousands of weary feet had trod over the last six months, the leggy blonde loped along in a daze of conflicting thoughts. She was worried about her dad. They were going to kill Bonnie, if they could get away with it. He'd already lost Fionna's mom and Star's mom too. Now they were going to kill the girlfriend he'd never quite gotten over. They were going to kill Bon and Shoko's mom, and Fionna halfway feared they wouldn't stop there. Egg-face and Flame King had both put their hands in this, and Phoebes was preggers. Would they kill her anyway? Would that be the spark that just about blew up the rest of Ooo? She couldn't see Phoebes going down without a fight. She was a lot like Fionna's dad that way.

Striding up to the ship that lay grounded there on the beach, it's massive stern jutting into the water, Fionna took a good long look at it. Reaching out to the iron, she caressed the surface, finding that the metal _called_ to her. It almost seemed to speak to her, begging her to take control of it. She'd found the ship here purely by accident. She'd come down one morning and found it beached here. The waves had torn it free of its anchor and hurled it halfway onto the beach. It was in surprisingly good shape in spite of the weather, and it had given Fionna hope.

They weren't going to die here. She had pledged to fight here to save all of Ooo. All her friends. All her family. Everybody she knew and cared for. She'd pledged she would protect them from the Lich. They had the fucker locked up right now, and Fionna thought that now was a good time to protect some more immediate faces. Penny had spent one army, but Fionna feared that her father was right. Where one army had been gathered, there could well be two. The blonde girl was bound and determined to get her dudes off this fucking island.

Glancing around her, she looked to see if the watchers were there again. Ernie had his snitches following her sometimes, and she had to be careful of what they saw her doing. In the right now, nobody was really close, so she went up into the ship, climbing up the boarding stage that hung from its right side. Patrick had guessed that the mercenaries had come _down_ that ramp when they invaded the island, and nobody had made it back aboard after the machines cut them down. Fionna went up into the ship, fished the flashlight from her pocket, and went wandering around.

That was where one of her dudes found her late that day. As the sun headed for the sea, the pretty blonde stood on the bridge of the ship, toying with the wheel, swinging it back and forth in violent motions as if she was battling a storm on the high seas. Lieutenant Pedersen found it almost laughable. He was under the command of this half-mad woman-child, and he absolutely loved her. "Is it pirates again today, General," he asked? "Nope," said Fi. She gave him a grin and a confidential whisper, "explorin'..." She had suggested on numerous occasions that she and Patrick might set sail for the west to see some of the kingdoms across the ocean. Cunty Princess Nadia had been there and bubblebutt, but few other people had. Her grandmother used to tell stories about the way the old countries in the west had been before the Mushroom War.

The Lieutenant nodded sagely. It was always some heady pronouncement like that. His brethren thought she'd lost her mind. Only the Lieutenant knew the truth. He'd been brought in by his commander early on in the business. He answered to Fionna. Regardless of what the Duke of Nuts thought or who the various Royal Bitches believed was in charge, the Lieutenant–and thus the men of the Froyo Guard–answered to Fionna and Fionna alone. The ruse gave the rest of them some level of deniability–just like the flirting that the Lieutenant so often did with his superior.

Most everybody on the island thought Patrick Petrikov was a cuckold. One obnoxious fool from Muscle Kingdom had actually dared to call him out on it, suggesting that maybe Fionna was like her brother and wanted more _sugar_ in her diet. Patrick, playing along with the ruse, had frozen the man's feet to the floor on the spot, earning himself a censure from the Duke. Of course now folk were afraid of the wizard, fearing what he would find offensive. The rumors and comments never stopped, but they quieted down when Patrick was near.

"Did you get my other boat," Fionna asked? Nodding patiently–as if speaking to a particularly dim bulb–the Lieutenant said, "I have tied it up on the far side of the island. It's ready for any _exploring_ you want to do." Fionna nodded. That was good to hear. When Penny Sour decided to come after them with the next army of fools, she would be able to get her dudes off this trap of an island and leave Dukey to his fate. Turning to Pedersen, she asked, "you still hangin' out with that girl?"

Pedersen blushed and grinned. His liaison with the leader of the grid-face people's contingent had been intended to be another ruse–a way for him to coordinate their escape with her. His captain didn't want to leave anybody behind–even the bastards from Muscle Kingdom. Pedersen had found that he sort of enjoyed Lina's company. It was a little disconcerting sometimes that she was as much machine as living creature, but he'd gotten used to that. "Lina has been suggesting that she could fly us all to the west, just to see it," said the Lieutenant.

Fionna thought about that. "Maybe," she said. "I kinda' like boats. They're tougher and more certain..." Pedersen nodded. He was a little concerned about the enemy just shooting down the airships himself. Besides that, there just weren't enough of them. If they were forced off the island, it was going to be quick. It wasn't going to be some long, drawn out thing like the initial phases of building the containment. The grid-face people simply didn't have enough airships to carry them all away from here. The Lieutenant would carry that back to Lina. In the now, he had one more thing to relate to his superior. "The Nut Guard has blocked further work on extending the perimeter," he reported. "Duke Ernst intends to use the remaining structures as a memorial in honor of the Fluffy People." Dropping the pretense momentarily, the tall blonde rolled her eyes. The world was ending, and fatso wanted to build a museum to honor the already-dead! "Thanks," she said. Bowing to his general, the Froyo person turned and got on his way.

Fionna waited only a little while before following. She was supposed to meet Patrick for dinner. The nagging upset stomach she'd developed lately had sort of made dinner a drag. Really she never knew which meal was going to have her ready to talk to Ralph on the Great Porcelain Phone. The food here was bad and getting worse. The good news was that she was in the mood again after months of bad news. They both were. Fionna was happy as a clam and horny as a mink. Naturally after months of nothing, Patrick was happy to oblige. After dinner, she would screw him within an inch of his life.

Far to the east, her half-brother and former boyfriend was having his first in-person meeting in weeks with his birth-mother. Boniface Bubblegum had been forced to fight Wildberry for the right to rule the Candy Kingdom, and he'd been forced to call in a few of his mother's markers for the backing to take the throne. The hostile fruit-woman had done all she could to smash Bonnie's whole family, even suggesting that Bonnie's children should be imprisoned as well. From there, the handsome prince had been mounting a full court press to save his mother's life. He'd hoped to arrive here in triumph to take her home. Instead, he was here with very bad news.

"Hello, mother," Boniface murmured. Bonnibel Bubblegum stood at the window, staring out into the grey winter sky beyond. They'd been corresponding off and on these last few weeks since the terrible battle at the Lich Containment Zone, but the former Princess of the Candy Kingdom generally wasn't allowed visitors. Wildberry Princess feared rescue. She feared some piece of technology would make it into her enemy's hands and allow the candy monarch to escape the fate being engineered for her. "Hello, Bon," the tall princess replied. "So I guess this is the end..." The young man flinched. He'd been doing his best to negotiate their way out of this problem, and he'd been failing by degrees.

"They're going to schedule a vote," Bon sighed. "Mother... momma... I _failed_. I..." He sounded close to tears. Bonnie turned around then and strode across the room to her son. "You haven't failed, Bon," she said. "I honestly didn't think it would last this long..." He goggled at her. With a sigh, the tall princess said, "I wrote the law with the best of intentions, my dearest boy. I wrote it to protect you and Shoko and Finn and everybody I love from the ravages of the war that birthed me. I wanted to make sure that there could never _be_ a mushroom war again. I never dreamed that maybe I was throwing the baby out with the bath-water–that someday there would be something my words couldn't handle." "Momma," Bon murmured. "Shed them, baby," she sighed. "Don't be a fool. There's nothing wrong with crying."

The tall prince broke down, bawling his eyes out. Bonnie slipped her arms around her beloved son and hugged him tight, finding all that she loved in his father there in his eyes. "I'll always be with you, Bon," she sighed. That was when he felt it. Stepping back from his mother, he glanced down at her middle. Blushing to her hair, she admitted, "a sibling. Done the right way this time. No lies." "M-momma," he howled?! "W-why didn't you say something? I... this could influence things..." With a shrug, she said, "the best this'll do is delay things, Bon. Wildberry wants me dead. This is her chance to kill me." Turning away, she said, "I didn't tell you because then your father would find out." Frowning, Bon asked, "why don't you want father to know?" "Because he needs to be engaged with defeating the Lich," she said. "Not engaged in a futile effort to save my life in defiance of the council."

Bon rolled his eyes. This woman just didn't get it! She'd never _gotten_ Finn in the thirty years she'd known him. Finn Mertens was no more going to let his beloved Bonnibel Bubblegum meet her end than he was going to sprout wings and fly. "Momma, he's _been_ engaged in the effort to save your life for _weeks_ ," Bon growled! "He's been burning up Ragnhild's train rushing all over trying to gather the votes to overrule Wildberry." With patchy results. The politicking the last two months had been _shameful_ to Boniface.

Bonnie whirled about, grabbing at her hair! "Y-you mean he's been trying to save _me_ all this time," she howled?! "Th-that wasn't the plan! H-he's supposed to be finding a way to smash the Lich!" "The Lich is contained," Bon replied. "He's _been_ contained the last two months. It looks like that army was everything Penny had. Billy and Star are still trying to track down his other vessel, but so far Truth Field Princess has seen no sign of him trying to create an ice barrier in the eastern ocean. It looks like we've got him in check." Bon's mother began to pace now. Clearly agitated, she went up and down, back and forth in a frenzy. He'd never seen her in a state like this.

"Spit it out, momma," Bon rumbled. "What's wrong? What aren't we seeing?" "I thought I had him contained before," Bonnie muttered. "I had him sealed under the palace, and I was sure there was no way for him to reach out from his prison to possess anyone. I was the only person who had the key. Somehow he managed to transfer his Id to another vessel. We don't have him contained until we follow through with Finn's plan. His _original_ plan." "What was the original plan," Bon asked? Stopping in mid stride, Bonnie turned around and faced her son. "I don't want you to think less of Finn, Bon," she said. "Spit it out, momma," the tall man replied.

Bonnie took a deep breath. Glancing away, she admitted, "when Finn first approached me with the news that the Lich was imprisoned in Sweet-P, he had this idea... He was thinking of opening a portal to the Night-O-Sphere and pushing Sweet-P through." Bon goggled at her, his mouth coming open. He'd heard vague rumblings of such a plan, but he'd always assumed that was his _mother's_ idea. "He chickened out," Bonnie sighed. "You know your dad, Bon. He didn't have the heart to go through with it." Bonnie had hectored him about that for _weeks_ until Finn told her to go stuff it.

"The point," said the tall princess, "is that the Lich's vessels need to be pushed into the Night-O-Sphere for Marceline's father to deal with. As long as there's a chance for him to slip his bonds, Ooo's still at risk. Why didn't you tell me Finn was campaigning to save my life?!" Bon rolled his eyes and said, "I assumed you would _know_ that, mother. Who do you think my father is, anyway?" The tall princess blushed to her hair once more. She felt all of a fool. "I need to get out of here," she said. Striding to the door, she began to pound on it, shouting, for the guard. She was going to wring Finn's neck when she saw him!

North and East, in the Elbow Kingdom, the subject of Bonnie's anger lay sleeping with her best friend in the world. Finn had ravished the Princess of Darkness for hours–so much so that the hotel sent the watch up to investigate. A sheepish Finn had to go out in a robe and collect the evidence of his bad behavior from the hall before shutting the door on the nosy hotel manager. Marceline had attempted to turn the tables by snatching his robe and running away. She'd been shocked to find that he could all but teleport ahead of her. That had earned her another ravaging and sent the watchmen away with red faces.

Laying on top of Finn, Marceline Abadeer found herself in a state of strange confusion. He was the same man. She knew he was the same. And yet he was so damned _different_. Her old familiar Finn would never have presumed to do that–to almost _use_ her like that. He'd done it _repeatedly_. Did she dare admit it, she _liked_ it. He had a possessive hand on her ass right now, holding her tight against him, and it felt so good. She'd been missing this in her life. In all the times she'd gone around with Bonnie, bubblebutt had never made her feel so _wanted_. It wasn't the same, and now she realized it really _couldn't_ be.

At the same time, she still felt the hunger. They had both let it pry them away from Finn twice before this, and they'd hurt him a lot. Finn was like a delicious, sensuous dress–sexy and exotic, touching her in places she didn't know she liked to be touched. Bonnie was like a familiar old house-coat. She was comfortable with the bubblegum girl as only close friends/almost-sisters could be, but Bonnie didn't ignite the passion he did. She still felt like she needed Bonnie, but she needed Finn even more. "What're you thinking about," Finn asked? She glanced up into his stunning eyes. "You're sighing like you do when you're upset about something," he said. "Spit it out."

It sounded gruff. At the same time, his fingers never stopped stroking her body in that tender fashion that got her hot. "Thinking about Bonnie, Finn," she murmured. Sitting up, she knelt by his side and said, "I have a confession to make, baby." "Ok," he said. His finger teased her left thigh on the inside, making her shiver. She was a little sore from getting fucked six-ways to Sunday. He'd been anything but gentle, and he'd had her screaming. "Bonnie and I... Bonnie and I were an item once, Finn," she admitted. "I... Well, we both kind of dumped you. For each other." There. She'd said it. It was a secret she'd sort of kept from him for more than twenty years. She'd feared what it would do to his manhood if he knew the truth about why she turned him down. In response, Finn shrugged. He didn't seem surprised in the least. "Sarah told me," he said. "Who," demanded the former Vampire Queen? "P-Bot," Finn replied. "She has all Bonnie's memories, remember?" The Princess of Darkness blushed to her hair. "H-how long," she stammered? Another shrug, which seemed to ask, 'does it matter?'

With a heavy sigh, she said, "right... So..." "You're still attracted to her," he said. Marcy nodded. She couldn't help it. Reaching up, he took her chin in his hand and raised her eyes to his. "I'm kinda' screwin' around with seven girls, Marcy," he said. "Can't really throw stones, can I?" "Y-you're ok with this," she babbled? "I kind of have to be," he replied. "Right now, besides my kids, you're two of the people I love most in the world." Face burning, she whispered, "would you... would you _watch_?" He goggled at her. At the same time, he was kind of curious. "Ok," he said.

Moving on, she said, "but we gotta' spring her out of that jail, first. You got a plan, hero?" "Workin' it," he said. "I'm'a try the legit way first. After..." Marceline shivered. She'd sort of come to know just what he meant by _after_. And strangely, like a fine wine, her boy was getting better with age. He was craftier, faster, and more focused than he'd ever been before. She didn't want to be the fool between him and Bonnie.

Morning brought a strange clarity to Marceline Abadeer. Finn woke her by putting the shower on. When she got up to investigate, he dragged her in for some steamy shower sex. After they had a bit of breakfast at the little table in his room, then Marceline got dressed in what was left of her clothes. The big man had done a number on them. "Where are you going now," she asked? Tugging at the heavy shoulder-armor that his Russian Beauty had given him, Finn replied, "one of Nadia's dudes is taking me back to the wasteland to grab Betty." Simon's wife was one more vote for Bonnie, and, more to the point, he wanted to see what she and Sarah had come up with. He wanted to put the Lich away for good. As long as his 'other half' was out there, there was still a danger. Besides which, this would put Penny out of business for good.

Nodding, Marceline said, "be careful, Finn." "You just track down Marshall," Finn replied. "I don't want to hurt anybody..." He wanted a clean vote. He didn't want a civil war when they already had the Lich to deal with. Marceline flushed. In spite of having some very clear reasons to be angry, Finn was taking this all in his stride. _Just like always,_ she thought. Phoebe was right. He'd put up with a lot of crap from the three of them. It was only fair that they turn the other cheek too. She wasn't keen on the flaming lunatic, and she wasn't thrilled about the thing with Cherry. Both those things cut a little close to home for her and Bonnie. And the thing with Betty was a little creepy too. At the same time, Finn was willing to accept her strange trainwreck of a relationship with Bonnie.

The Princess of Darkness got up from the bed and threw her arms around her baby. "I love you," she breathed. She'd had cause to wonder if this was how her dad and mom had been. She had vague memories of the two of them together before the Mushroom War took her mom's life. It was another thing to want to smash Theo over. He'd helped to nudge that whole thing along. He'd cost Marceline a lot of her happiness. Finn kissed his sexy demon-girlfriend and caressed her soft curves. "Don't mind the tongue anymore, huh," he teased? Marceline blushed in memory of that snarky comment, but she gave as good as she got, pointing out, "no more than you mind eating pussy."

Finn blushed too. He'd gotten sold on that with Breakfast, and he'd never minded it after that first time. He loved to do that to all his girls, and Marcy was no exception. Kissing her plump lips again, he said, "well, I might want a snack next time I see you." With a heavy sigh, Marceline turned and gestured, causing a portal to form there in the room. With scarcely a backwards glance, she stepped through, leaving Finn with only her scent. Shouldering his bag, the big man got up and headed out. He had a plane to catch. Just as before, he fully intended to text message his woman until he couldn't anymore. Goodbye wasn't goodbye, and he meant to keep it that way.

South and West of the Elbow Kingdom, the bubblegum princess was also being strapped into an airship. She was going under heavy guard with a contingent of the Purple Kingdom's finest escorting her in chains onto the ship. Under her son's watchful eyes, the soldiers helped his mother sit before all but two withdrew. Purple Princess had been more than kind to Bonnie Bubblegum throughout all of this ordeal, showing that Nadia was as much the friend as she had claimed herself to be. Now, in spite of the risk to her own position, the leader of the Grid-Face people had Bonnie's back once again, providing the escort to ensure that Wildberry's mortal enemy arrived safe and unharmed for their unpleasant confrontation.

Sitting strapped to a seat, Bonnie stared out the window, thinking of Finn and Marceline and wondering how they were. Knowing how irrational her best friend in the world could be, she'd had to warn Marcy off of coming to see her. The last thing they needed was to disturb the balance and force the Princess of Darkness's self-exile to the Night-O-Sphere when there was so much that Marceline could still do for them–and so much Bonnie still needed to say to her. Bon sat in the seat opposite his mother, doing his best to cheer her up, while the older woman thought her way through the problem ahead. Somehow she had to come up trumps with this and manage to outwit Wildberry when the sour bitch had her dead to rights. If there was one thing Finn had taught her, it was that where there was life there was hope. That was what all of this was about. Where the Lich hoped to foster despair, anguish and shame with his murder of Finn's wives, Finn had managed to foster hope, and Bonnie intended to hold onto that hope as best she could.

Out on the ocean, the subject of Bonnie's thoughts plunged a slim hand into an icy tunnel and snatched a half-frozen fish out of the icy water. Without a moment's hesitation, the Lich tore into the tasty morsel, biting off chunks of the soft white flesh, completely heedless of the mess he was making on his current form. _That was my favorite dress,_ complained his captive. _Sushi,_ the Lich retorted. _In my time, bourgeois like you flocked to fresh fish like this. Good vitamins._ Simone snorted in disgust. Her captor opined, _it's not like you stand a chance of strutting around in it again._ Simone laughed, _think so? He's_ got _you. You can't escape._

The Lich crushed the remnant of the fish. He had been liberated from his need for sustenance. He ate to sustain his prisoner, and he reminded her of that fact in unpleasantly detailed fashion. His rage was palpable as he talked of all the ways he could do this _without_ Simone Mertens. Simone weathered the gale of his anger. In that storm of anger, she learned things, and her mind touched the mind of the _other_. Understanding passed between them. They were prisoners, but even prisoners had hope.

"Are you there," Penny asked the Lich's other end. "Sorry," the evil entity muttered. "I was distracted..." Penny nodded. He'd frequently claimed the 'two places at once' thing was very difficult. Turning back to the matter at hand, he asked, "are you sure that buffoon can do it? We'll lose the season if the delay goes much longer." He had little faith in his former captor's creations. He had come to a healthy respect for the bubblegum woman. She had helped to imprison him once already. He had no respect for her docile, insipid creations. Penny chuckled, "his world has already ended. He wants Finn's world to end too..."

The evil entity frowned at those words. He had scarcely imagined that love-struck imbecile could thwart his scheme so readily. He now realized there had been a dangerous flaw in his plan all along. That unpleasant surprise had him questioning not only his schemes, but those of his allies as well. He wanted to see flaws in his ally's scheme to shatter his latest prison. "How will this _vote_ go," he demanded? Penny replied, "I lost access to Emerald Princess." Her incompetent henchmen had failed to capture the stupid bitch. Still, she had influence on several council members. She'd used that influence to wrest control of the Lich-Prison's guards from Finn's daughter. "My tame princesses will ensure that even if the vote fails, we'll have the power to obstruct our enemy. We'll prevail..."

She sounded _confident_. It was strangely compelling to have a henchman who was as devoted to his scheme as he was. Even she who'd set him on this path had failed him in the end. "Let us talk about the other ice crown," rumbled the Lich. "Have we found it, yet?" It would go a long way towards ending the world if he had both. He would have a backup plan and enough power to maintain the ice in the Atlantic while he froze the Pacific, greatly accelerating the apocalypse. And of course he still had his eyes on his old girlfriend's most prized possession.

Penny replied, "the old man was far more crafty than he looked. We expected to find it in his old cave." Instead, they'd found alarms and traps aplenty. She'd lost fifty men looking for the Ice Crown before giving up the search. "I'll put more resources into it once we've smashed the defenses on the island," she said. Which was a good enough plan. Moving on, the Lich asked, "what are we doing about my old chum?" In spite of their plans, Finn had been a persistent thorn in their sides. While he hadn't dared confront either directly, his schemes had managed to completely block them. An evil smirk twisted Penny's already twisted face. She said, "there have been setbacks, but I have a plan in mind to dissuade him from further action." She had reckoned without the corrosive effects of greed on her organization. Freed of their last inhibitions, some of her minions had started plunging steel into each other. But she didn't need them much longer. The reckoning was almost upon them.

Late that day, the airship carrying Finn the human dropped out of the clouds above the frigid camp that two of his ladies had called home the last two months. He had only enjoyed sparse contact with them while he'd been away from this place, and he'd worried about them. The camp, such as it was, looked good. The truck's tent was up, and the position of one of the motorbikes suggested the girls had been using it to get around. Finn turned to his pilot and said, "looks good. Where can we set down?" The pilot shrugged and pointed. Finn goggled at the neatly laid out airstrip on the far side of the Door Lord's door. Sarah's doing. He was sure of it.

Finn wasted not a moment when the airship was on the ground. He was out of his seatbelts, out of his seat and anxiously waiting for the pilot to open the door seconds after the machine ceased moving. The pilot clucked at him as he opened the door. Ignoring him, Finn rushed across to the obelisk that was the Door Lord's door. Waiting there in the shadow of the door, Betty Petrikov shouted a warning to Sarah before stepping fully onto Ooo. As the door shut itself, Betty turned to greet her boyfriend.

Finn rushed up to find Betty standing there as if she'd been expecting him. "Hey," he greeted her. There was a bit of an awkward silence as Finn remembered how they had left things. Did she still feel that way? Blushing and grinning all at once, Betty Petrikov said, "I've fallen in love with my daughter's husband." Finn's jaw came open. Betty gave him a teasing smile and stroked his chest with the tip of a finger. As if she were speaking to the door, Betty admitted, "I was a bad girlfriend and a worse wife to Simon, but I promise to be better..." Finn swept the proud beauty into his arms and kissed her rough, chapped lips, and his hands grabbed a double handful of her big, meaty bottom. The minute their lips met, the door shimmered with brilliant white light that raced along its surface, filling the cracks and crevices. As they shared a passionate kiss, the door opened, revealing Sarah. The android woman heckled them, shouting, "get a room!" Laughing, Finn turned and embraced her too while Betty kissed her cheek.

Stepping back, Betty asked, "what has you here?" They hadn't expected him to come back until they had an answer. With a heavy-hearted sigh, Finn replied, "it's about Bonnie. I'll explain later. Right now I need every friendly Royal I can find to save her life..." That sounded ominous. Unfortunately there was something far more ominous much closer to hand. A mass of vegetation had suddenly appeared in the midst of the frozen tundra, and it was blocking their way to the ship. "I better see what she wants," Finn sighed. When he stepped off, the two women followed. "Together," said Betty. "Or not at all," echoed Sarah.

Together, the trio walked into the riotous mass of vegetation. Sarah scanned this way and that, finding that, much like last time, she couldn't discern where the transition was. She'd professed confidence in her ability to track Finn's location only to have him pass through some invisible anomaly. Just as before, she did her best to try and track the location of the transition–at least to give them the chance to back out. Just as before she completely missed the threshold, finding herself in a strangely overgrown town.

"Damn," muttered the android. "I don't know where we are..." "Baba Yaga's place," Finn replied. "She's a little touchy. Don't talk or react..." Scanning the scene and listening intently, he turned this way and that. Stepping off, he said, "it's this way, I think..." Betty glanced at Sarah, who shrugged. They were here. When Finn stepped off, they followed. Finn led the way through the warren of city streets, finally leading them out into a former city park. Here and there, Betty found signs of the Soviet Union which had been dead when she was in high school. Finally they entered a grove of trees and found the witch sitting before an ewer full of fragrant incense. Finn stopped before her and offered a deep bow. "Another one," the witch opined. "How are you not dieing?" All three newcomers blushed.

Moving on, the witch frowned at Sarah and asked, "why did you bring that _thing_?" Sarah glared but said nothing. Finn replied, "she was afraid something would eat her boyfriend. I try not to make them mad..." The witch's jaw came unhinged. Sarah merely smiled at her. Finn remarked, "you wanted to see me?" Shaking off her shock, the witch said, "you haven't made any progress against Andreivich..." Finn shrugged and answered, "won't help to eliminate _half_ a Lich. Been looking for the rest." Baba Yaga frowned at him, expression warning. Finn said, "still don't have the answers. I'm working it. If you got some ideas, I'd love to hear them."

Baba Yaga glared at him. Finn stared back, calm as anything. "He is still dangerous," the witch muttered. Softly, Finn said, "I know. I'm not exactly ignoring him. My son and daughter are working the problem. Be patient. We're closing in." His voice was calm and soothing. Turning to the others, she said, "go. I would have words with him." With a smirk, she added, "I don't like leftovers..." Those words left Betty blushing and Sarah sputtering. Still, they knew a dismissal when they heard one. The pair headed back in the direction from which they had come. Finn was left with their host.

The big man said, "been dealing with dummies trying to give him money to raise an army. It's shut down for now." "You should sanction them," growled the witch. Rolling his eyes, Finn retorted, "I can't just kill Wildberry. If you want to help, figure out a way to locate boneface closer than a city." Baba Yaga cussed him. Finn shrugged. "I'm not trying to be a jerk, but I need more real help, not more mystery," he said. "Give me something I can use..." That got through to her finally. Glancing away, she said, "I'll see what I can do..." Finn took that for a dismissal and turned to go. As he walked away, she hit him with a zinger, "aren't you too old to play with dolls?" With a shrug, he retorted, "who says I'm the one playing...?"

Betty and Sarah were waiting at the strange portal that had brought them here. As he approached, Betty announced, "I swear I've seen her before." At Finn's frown, Betty said, "I don't know where, Finn, but I know I've seen her before." Finn waved his companions through the portal. This was neither the time nor the place for this conversation. They could talk about it on the plane.

 **And we're back! Sorry about the delay in getting back to this, but I was stuck in two weeks of all-day meetings, and then the 4th of July Holiday intruded. I've been scratching away at the update, but couldn't get time to work on it to my satisfaction. Have another update waiting in the wings. So next time, Baba Yaga in action!  
**


	49. Chapter 49

Chapter 49:

Star was worried. Billy could see it in her eyes. His little sister was worried about Thor. In the early going, he'd figured she was having a bit of fun with the big mook. She certainly treated him like a boy-toy. She would tease him mercilessly–even wearing skimpy clothing when she had no plans of letting him have any. Now, she was in an incredibly brittle mood, and Billy had needed to tiptoe around her. His little sis had it bad, and he felt bad for her. He'd been through this with JJ. First love was the hardest. "He's gonna' be ok," Billy murmured. Blushing, Star murmured, "obvious, huh?" Bill chuckled and gave her shoulder an affectionate squeeze. He was back. Her loving older brother was back, and that helped her immensely when she was having trouble.

This was the place. They had been closing in on this place for _weeks_. It had been tough going in a place that seemed overrun with Penny's dudes. It had been an ominous revelation to find that the guys they were supposed to hook up with were either occupying walls or in prison. The trio had been quick to regroup, but progress had been slow due to endless interference from the Laurel Guard. Thor had been arrested twice. Star had been ejected from town on 'suspicion of prostitution', and Billy had fielded polite suggestions that he too could be banned–or worse. The Princess of Laurel Kingdom was in Penny's pocket. They didn't know the how or why, but it was pretty clear Princess Alexia was sheltering the Thief King's dudes.

Taking a deep breath, the little wizard said, "let's just get this done." Hanging around outside gained them nothing. They would find out what was waiting on them inside that building when they got inside and not before. Clapping his sister on the shoulder, the big man stepped off, darting out into the street and rushing across in the gloom to the narrow gangway alongside the building. Star waited two breaths before joining him. Standing in the darkened passage, they oriented themselves. There was a secret door here according to the informants. The target room was on the fifth floor, but all the obvious entries were heavily barricaded–another sign of the control Penny had here. Billy pressed a hand against the cool stone of the wall. Now he began to suck heat out of the structure cooling it down to a bone-chilling -80 degrees. The hidden lock, unused to such abuse, fractured, letting the frozen door swing inward.

Billy and Star stepped into the room beyond, scanning the darkness as best they could. There could be every kind of trouble down here. They had to get through without being harmed, and they had to get upstairs to the fifth floor. Star conjured a small light, letting it drift back and forth. There were vats in the basement constructed of heavy, though worm-eaten wood. Black muck splashed against the weathered boards suggested that this place had once been used to dip something in tar. Stepping carefully around the equally abused steps, the pair kept their eyes peeled for trouble. Their dad had come to grief in a place like this. Neither of them wanted to repeat the harsh lesson.

Across town, Finn the Human sat in a cell, staring out at the Laurel Guard–or rather the holo-terminal that he held in his hands. Alexia had aged a little since he'd last seen her. She was still a short little woman–as short as Cherry. Where Cherry had curves and fantastic knockers, Alexia had gotten a little pudgy. She was still pretty. She was likely the prettiest of the princesses he hadn't managed to make out with in his recklessly misspent youth. At the same time there was a sorrow in her deep-brown eyes. That sorrow told Finn that his guess was correct. Penny was holding somebody Alexia cared about.

"You were banned, as I recall, Master Finn," the proud princess declared. "How is it that you're in my palace?" Finn shrugged and said, "not really the important thing, Alex..." "Oh," she interrupted, "and you're going to tell me what's important? You? A peasant?" Ignoring the insults, Finn said, "you know Peebles was right, Alex. It's crazy to kill somebody for doing the right thing..." That set the princess to howling laughter. She laughed a long five minutes, shaking her head in seeming disgust. It was a performance worthy of her creds as an actress. At the same time, it hardly fooled Finn. "I know you're being forced to vote for Bonnie's death, Alex," he said. "Tell me how my kids and I can help... I'll get whichever relative you've lost back..."

Alexia Galitsis got up on the holo-terminal and began shouting curses at him. She hurled swear-words so vile, they made the guard's ears go red. Finn weathered the storm of the princess's rage without batting an eye. He'd heard–and seen–far worse in the Night-O-Sphere with Marcy. "Penny doesn't plan on sparing you, your relatives, your kingdom, or anybody else. Help me knock her down, Alex..." "Congratulations, Finn," she calmly said. "You will be the first person in Laurel Kingdom to be executed in eighty years..." Finn replied, "Alex, it's stupid to pretend this is about anything other than what Penny wants. Can we get back to the point of all of this..." "The point," she snarled, "was for you to stay out of Laurel Kingdom's affairs... You forgot that, Master Finn. Now you and your children will pay a heavy price."

Finn rose from the chair he'd been seated in, saying, "ok, Alex. I'll see you in Wildberry Kingdom." Alarmed, the pretty princess shouted, "kill him! Stop him!" Finn walked forward until he was standing before the guard. Casually, he put his finger on the lock. Before Laurel Princess's horrified eyes, the lock simply shattered. Nadia's gift had stood him in good stead, working its way through the lock in the half-hour or so he'd been in here. Shoving the door open in front of the terrified guard, Finn said, "I'd like my sword back now." The politeness of that–belying the hero's fierce reputation–left the guard speechless. While the guard stared in a haze of terror, Finn reached down and plucked the Finn Sword from his belt. Turning to the hologram, the big man said, "we'll chat, Alex. Bye, now." Stubbing the power button with his pinky, Finn got on his way. He needed to catch up with Star and Bill.

Back in the forgotten tenement, Star and Billy were working their way upward. The building was a terrifying maze of dead-end corridors and dark rooms that could well be hiding anything. Including Dipped. Stopping in the middle of the hallway facing a heavily built door set in a thick stone wall, Billy pondered their decision yet again, engaging in some quadruple thinking. This was the place, but had Thor _really_ sent that message? It was his writing, but still... _Does it matter, Bill,_ he asked himself? They were in the heart of the maze with no easy way out. Just as his antsy sister was about to start screaming, Billy started forward again.

They were wanted in the room. He was certain of it. If Penny wanted to test them, she would already have attacked them. In this darkened maze, her dudes had all the advantages. Why not attack them early on? Why hadn't they seen guards? _Nobody here, Bill,_ he decided. Star was irritated now. Billy was making no effort at all at stealth. When he heard her insistent demands that he slow down, the big man told her, "we've been baited. This is a trap. When we get inside, we go up not down. They'll be lined up against us down below..." In the maze. Where they had the advantages.

The pair burst into the room to find a battered Thor strapped to a chair in the very center looking much the worse for wear. On either side of him stood a handsome young man and a beautiful young girl. Both had the pale purple skin of Laurel Kingdom, and both wore finery that suggested they were important people. In point of fact, they looked rather familiar to Billy. When Star would have stepped forward, the big man shoved her back. This wasn't the time for emotions.

"Well, brother," said the female, "these two are certainly persistent." "Yes," said the older of the pair. "I'd have thought the message took when mother had the pretty one thrown out..." Now Billy remembered who they were. Nikos and Suadela, the son and daughter of Laurel Princess. "Ok," said the big man. "What gives? You're throwing in with boneface? You know he intends to spare nobody..." That made both teens howl laughter. They laughed and laughed. Then, as Billy was getting creeped out, and Star was seriously considering bashing the shit out of both, the pretty princess's face dissolved into black goo. In a deep, grating voice that sounded like it was coming from the bottom of a well, the undead fiend growled, " _nobody gets out alive!_ " And then the two Mertens kids were in the fight of their lives.

The creature was fast, and both Star and Billy backpedaled to get away from her/it. The creature was primarily focused on Star, though. The little wood nymph ducked and dodged and twisted, doing her best to stay out of the thing's grasp. "Gotcha," snarled the undead, as it finally closed its 'hand' around Star's wrist. "What the," it gobbled? "Polyester," Star replied. "Doesn't rot." And she hit the creature with a bolt of lightning that very nearly burned it to the ground.

That was when the other creature leaped into action, hurling a glob of itself at Star's face. The wizard very nearly bought it. At the last second, the Grid-Person shield she'd bought blocked the goop from hitting her. Billy entered the fray then, spraying a sheet of ice at the larger of the two creatures. These two were a lot faster than the last one he'd battled. Leaping to one side, the thing escaped. Billy was in motion now, rushing forward to Thor's side. As he skidded to a stop, he conjured an ice-knife and began sawing through the big man's bonds. "Leave me," Thor gasped. "Trap..." Billy ignored him in favor of watching his own back.

Star was holding both creatures at bay, hurling lightning and slinging spell-darts that tore gaping chunks out of the walls as she pressed forward behind the Grid-Person shield. It was an offense she couldn't keep up forever, though. The minute he had Thor cut loose, Billy returned to the fray. Coming up alongside Star, he tried to encapsulate the pair of undead in ice. That was when the smaller of the pair shouted for help. Billy stopped right where he was. That was ominous. There could be a lot of hurt down in that maze or even up above them. _Do we still go up,_ he thought? Shortly, there was no more time for thinking as three more Dipped came oozing through the room's ventilation grates. One of them made a bee-line for Thor.

Billy spun to face his brother-in-law and hurled sheets of ice and sleet to stop the thing, but these creatures were fast as fuck, and he knew he wasn't going to make it. Shockingly, he didn't have to. One minute Star was standing next to him. The next she was at Thor's side, shoving him out of the chair. The creature got the soles of her boots but nothing else. Distracted, Billy wasn't paying attention when one of the creatures in front of him broke free. The smaller Dipped lashed out, clocking him across the chin. The surprised hero staggered back, feeling at the thin sheet of ice covering his skin. _Cracked,_ he thought. But it had done its job, saving him to die another day. It was time to get out of here.

Billy ran across the room, reaching out with his powers to freeze the wall solid. Star didn't hesitate to smash through it. Then she had Thor's arm over her shoulder, and she was moving–racing down the hall beyond at a speed Billy wouldn't have believed possible. He wouldn't have believed it if he hadn't seen his dad do the same thing. Behind him, the two leaders of the Dipped howled, "after them!"

Billy and Star headed for the one place none of the undead anticipated. Instead of fighting their way down through the maze, the trio went up. Half-dragging, half-carrying Thor, the siblings fought a running battle with the evil undead. Star scored first, striking home with a blast bolt that ripped one of the Dipped apart. Billy was next, dropping the stairs on a second. But then the trio burst out on the roof with no more floors to climb and nowhere to go. Thor was weak from blood loss, and his skills wouldn't have mattered anyway. They needed a plan, and Billy knew they had just minutes to come up with something.

Billy rushed to the edge of the building and stood there a moment, staring down a hundred and fifty feet. A long way. "Do jump," announced the Dipped in Suadela Galitsis' sweet, melodious voice. "No-one gets out alive, William. You should know this. My master _killed_ your namesake." That was the thing that kind of bugged him. This _thing_ was using the face of such a talented, promising person as a disguise. Turning towards the trap door across the roof, Billy shot back, "your master's a sick fuck! I hope to be there to stick a knife in Penny's gut for hurting Nick and Suadela..." The undead chuckled, "why, William, I _am_ Suadela. Death has been _very_ liberating. I don't age. No more worries over _beauty_. I'm _beyond_ all that. Now you will be too..."

Star glanced to her brother as she considered trying to run down the side of the building. She could feel her father's curse chewing at her flesh. It was coming on fast–much faster than with Fionna. A second Dipped appeared through the trap door and then a third as Suadela observed, "little sister seems so very tired... You should let her rest, William..." "Not on your life," Billy snapped! He shoved his sister and brother in law over the side. As Suadela got near, he said, "see you in hell." Then he too jumped.

Finn was coming up the street with Princess Nadia at his side when he saw the first of the bodies fall. Racing up the street, he ran headlong into an enormous quantity of white, fluffy snow that blocked the street and barricaded all the nearby buildings. As the big man struggled to get through the pile, first Thor and then Star landed in the massive snowbank. Spying the last of his kids falling from the sky, Finn conjured a carefully-timed defense disk, catching him short of an unpleasant landing. Setting his eldest child on his feet, the big man demanded to know what was going on. Billy put him off in favor of sealing the target building to hold the undead at bay. Then he began melting snow to get at his sister and bro-in-law.

An hour later, the young hero was on the hot seat in Princess Nadia's hotel suite. Finn was grilling him relentlessly in an effort to find out just how this had all gone south. Star was in very bad shape. She was just as delirious as Fionna had been and showing all the signs of the Quicksilver Curse, leaving Finn wanting to skin Wolf. "I think it got triggered when she saw Thor in danger, dad," Bill explained. "She didn't have it, and then she did..." Finn began to pace. They didn't have the time for this. They would need a first-class wizard to save Star's life.

Downstairs, a fabulous figure came strolling into the lobby, dressed in a fabulous fur coat over a sexy short dress in blue-green hue. Every face there stopped, looked, and whispered as the tall, leggy beauty went click-clacking by in three-inch heels, swinging her fabulous ass back and forth with every step. The tall woman smiled archly as she boarded the elevator as if completely aware of the effect she had on the men she'd passed. As the door shut, she even blew a kiss at one of the men she'd snatched the elevator from.

Riding the elevator to the top floor, the pale beauty stepped out into the hall, surprising a fat woman at the job of cleaning the rooms. Giving the woman a contemptuous glance, the newcomer sauntered down the hall, her heels click-clacking on the marble floor. She could sense her quarry just up ahead. Arriving outside the door, she didn't so much as knock. Waving airily with a slim hand, the tall woman caused the door to click open. Then, as Billy stared in open-mouthed surprise, and Thor tried feebly to rise, Baba Yaga strode through the door of the suite just like she owned the place.

Striding into the center of the room, she glanced around her, and Billy found that his dad's descriptions didn't do the witch justice. With her long, golden-brown hair and pale skin, she looked almost human, and he could certainly see getting enraptured by her beauty. Nadia glared at their visitor, but Finn greeted her with a polite, "hey..." "No bow," she asked? "This isn't your land," Finn replied. "It's Alex's." Her thin lips put on the slightest of pouts. Moving on, Finn asked, "so what brings you?" Striding towards him, heels making rhythmic thumps on the floor, the nature spirit looked around her as if she was seeing a ghost. She spent more of her energy looking at the suite than at the people in it.

Striding past Finn, she said, "this place isn't much. Your Alex doesn't seem to do well with his capitol city." " _Her_ ," Finn corrected. "Al's a girl." Baba Yaga sniffed in indignation at being corrected. Then, with a sly look for the Hero of Ooo, she asked, "are you fucking her too?" Finn flushed to his hair. Nadia strode forward, face contorted in fury, and she shouted, "what did you come for?! We have wounded to tend to! If you've nothing useful to say...!" "Cool your jets, Nadia Ivanova," retorted the sorceress. "I came to help you track down Andreivich's other half." With a sigh, Finn said, "could have used you _before_ my kids walked into a trap." It was the mildest of rebukes, but it set the proud witch's face in a scowl.

Looking around her, she said, "that one? Is he your son?" "Son-in-law," Finn corrected. "He and my daughter are an item." Nodding, the witch said, "your daughter loves daddy, I see." Finn blushed to his hair at the comparison, but the witch was already moving on. Striding over to the giant, she grabbed him by his hair and tugged his face up to look at him. "He's been exposed to some things he shouldn't... Things Andreivich used to toy with," she said. Moving to the potted bush that stood in a corner of the hotel room, she plucked several whole leaves, put them in her mouth and began to chew. Coming back across the room, she spat the contents of her mouth into her hand and began smearing some of the resulting goop onto Thor's wounds. Almost immediately the big man relaxed as if the pain had just melted away.

Chewing up some more leaves, she leaned down and kissed the massive gangster, teasing his tonsils as Finn, Billy, and Nadia goggled at her. Nadia rushed forward and pulled the witch away from Star's beau, shouting, "derzhat'sya podal'she ot muzha Zvezdy, vy chertovski suka!" The two women faced off, with the witch, shouting back, "kto ty ty nazval sukoy, vy chertovski shlyukha?! Vy zhazhdete muzha mertvoy zhenshchiny, kogda ona ne dazhe yeshche pogrebeny!" Finn flushed to his hair. Nevertheless, he got in between the two raging cuties, interrupting the brewing fight before it got started. "We're allies here," he declared. "We need each other." Thor interrupted his interruption, by rising, bowing to the dreadful beauty, and pleading, "please. My lady... She's very ill... Can you help her too?" " _Somebody_ has manners," muttered Baba Yaga, as she motioned for him to lead her to the sufferer.

The big man led the way into the room he had been sharing with Star up until his capture and imprisonment. Star lay there pale and still, and he could tell she was already worse than the last time he'd mustered the strength to look in on her. His fist clenched, and his jaw went tight, and Billy knew what he was thinking because he'd thought it himself when he buried JJ. Thor felt responsible for this. He'd gone in on his own, thinking he could manage. "Tsk, tsk, tsk," said the witch. "A very nasty spell. Who wrought it?" "He's dead," muttered Finn. "Oh," said Baba Yaga. "I would have killed him too." Shaking her head, she said, "nevermind." Stepping up alongside Star, she whispered soft words of power, calling out to ancient spirits that predated this place. Reaching out, she put her hand to the little woman's forehead.

Billy could _feel_ an electric tingle in the air. Star took a deep, deep breath, filling her lungs, as her body surged up from the bed. Then, as the witch released the enchantment, the little woman fell back to the bed. Stepping back, Baba Yaga said, "all done. Wake up, little one." Star's eyes popped open. Muzzily, she called out, "daddy...?" The witch chuckled, and Finn blushed. Yes, Star was daddy's little girl. Sitting bolt upright, she said, "daddy, you should get your money back from that fucking wolf! He said I was ok!" Finn interrupted her with, "glad you're back, sweetie." The little woman blushed to her hair, then blushed again as Thor snatched her up like a toy and tried to hug the stuffing out of her. That was when she realized she was just wearing a cami and panties. "Uh, can you guys wait outside," she burbled. "Sure, Star," said Finn. Leaning over, he kissed his daughter's cheek and whispered, "don't ever scare me like that again."

Returning to the parlor, the group gathered around the dining room table, with the witch, obnoxious and pushy to the last, claiming the spot opposite Finn. As Baba Yaga listened, the head of this strange little household laid out all that had been going on. He told the witch about Penny and her motivations for what she'd done. He talked of the Lich and the things he had said and the books he'd been reading. Finally he told of what Billy and Star had found yesterday and his suspicions about what Penny had done to Alexia's children. His words left the tall woman brooding, her hands steepled in front of her in profound dismay. Finn knew that was something that all women shared. Don't fuck with children. No matter what your beef was with mom and dad, never fuck with the kids.

Star joined them about halfway through the second round of discussions, while the ancient witch was still brooding and Nadia was fuming. Nadia immediately got up and retrieved a meal for the little woman, shoving a plate of Pelmini under her nose. The wizard was a little surprised to realize just how hungry she actually was, and she dug in gratefully. Baba Yaga smirked at the younger woman, as it was clear to everyone at that table that the princess was doing her best to ingratiate herself with the head of the family. She had an offer to make, and she was hoping he would accept it and terrified he wouldn't.

Rising, the witch said, "I'm going for a walk. We'll discuss what we're going to do when I return. I should be gone two hours..." Turning to her host's eldest, she said, "you can draw me a bath." Billy gulped as he had a sudden twinge of fear that she might try latching onto him next. It would be very hard to refuse the request of a Princess of Ooo, and they desperately needed this woman's help. At the same time, he didn't want to be anything like his dad, who was dating four Royals already. That kind of thing was hazardous to your health!

The tall woman didn't wait on his response. Instead, she got up and headed out, slipping out the door the way she'd come in. The minute she was gone, the room erupted, with Star asking what had happened while she was out, Billy asking what they should do, and Nadia shouting about the dangers in trusting one of _her_ kind. Finn shut the chaos down with one shrill whistle. When he had quiet once more, he turned to Nadia and said, "what do you mean?"

With a sigh, she said, "it's folklore, Finn. From my ancestors' time and even before that." "What is she," Billy asked? "A Rusalka," sighed Nadia. "A river-spirit. They were creatures of magic and power from before the enlightenment when mankind was nothing more than savages sleeping on the ground. Even back then, they were known to be dangerous. They took men who caught their fancy, carrying them away beneath the waves of their rivers..." With a sharp glance at Finn, she added, "they were known to _mark_ those they wanted." Thor went very pale at that news, but Finn was steady in the face of that. "Still need her help," he replied. "We'll have to watch her. Not like I trust her anyways."

Elsewhere, Bonnibel Bubblegum sat down before her longtime neighbor and frenemy to have a frank discussion about the way things were and what was going to happen now. She'd had many a run-in with Wildberry since the younger woman had come onto the council. While relations between the two kingdoms had never been warm and cordial, they had gotten along alright, aided and abetted by the very law that Bonnie had flouted. War would have been far too bloody an affair, and the hunger or desire for it had mostly been bred _out_ of the Candy People. The candy monarch was still trying to figure out where she'd gone wrong with Cherry, but vengeance was a very powerful motivator all on its own.

"So," said Wildberry. "You wanted to see me?" The tall candy-person replied, "I thought we could talk through this..." The berry person chuckled. "Talk through this," she echoed. "We can talk through a violation of the Peace of Ooo? When we both well know that such a violation carries the death penalty? What I want to know is when you were planning to turn on the rest of us, Bonnibel? That's all I really want to know. You trumped-up this whole crisis with the Lich..." "Trumped-up," howled Bonnie?! "You think I set him loose on the world to destroy everyone and everything I care about?!"

Wildberry jabbed a tiny finger at her and shouted, "you had the most to gain from it! You destroyed Finn's family. You killed his spouses. That left you free and clear to make your move on him! And don't think for a minute I don't know who's baby that is in your gut! Then, as if that wasn't sick enough, you murder Princess Brianna in cold blood, so your henchman could take her place!" "Cherry is anything but my henchman," retorted Bonnie. "That fucking bitch kidnaped me and threatened to murder my kids!" "And yet miraculously she's wandering the streets," said Wildberry with an airy wave of her hands. "Face it, Bonnibel. You lie so much and your lies are so twisted that even you don't know the truth anymore. You let those bandits free the Lich! Everyone knows that you had control of the Ice Crowns. _You_ did this!"

The tall princess sighed heavily. "I don't understand," she murmured. "I don't understand why you hate me so. I've never..." "Don't you dare project your bad behavior onto me," howled Wildberry! "You're a tyrant and a liar! You've done all you could to maintain your control over the Privy Council so you could build your little empire! Well your day is _done_! You're _finished_! And when you're gone, I'm going to see to it that your scheming, conniving progeny is sanctioned as well!" "I see," said Bonnie, her voice gone cold. "Very well, Wildberry. Since it seems to be war you want, I guess I'm left with no choice but to defend myself. See you in court."

That was the limit. Angry, the Berry-Person shouted for her guards. Bonnie went quietly, in spite of the pushing and shoving they did. Now that her mind was working again–a fact that she blessed Finn for–she could see that just too much damage had been done to the relationship for Wildberry to ever accept just her head. She wanted Bon and Shoko too. And by extension, that meant her grandson, Tamerlane, and even her unborn third child. And that meant war. Nobody was going to fuck with her kids. Nobody.

It was late in the day that Baba Yaga returned to Nadia's suite. She found the family still gathered around the table going over what they knew or suspected. It was all noise and bother. They weren't anywhere near the true prize. They were still dealing with Andreivich's benefactor and her games. "Is my bath ready," she demanded? Billy swallowed hard. He'd gotten wrapped up in the discussion and completely forgotten. Finn nodded at his eldest to get moving. In the meantime, he asked, "where did you go?" "To find Andreivich," she replied. Hanging her coat from one of the pegs near the door, she strolled over, her bare arms taking on the barest tinge of blue from the chill outside.

Settling at the table, she put her feet up on the seat that Billy had vacated, saying, "I had forgotten what a torture these shoes were." Slipping them off, she rubbed at her victimized feet for a moment, noting the way both the remaining men's eyes followed the long lines of her legs. Some things never changed. Nadia elbowed Finn sharply, causing the witch to smirk in good humor. "Andreivich is in the palace," she said. Finn shot to his feet. "Your Alex is hosting him," said the witch. "Though not by choice." Finn's fists clenched, and he sat down again, face furrowed with a deep frown. "A weak man, ruled by his desires," murmured the witch. "Ruled by his passion for helping people in need," snapped Star. The witch frowned at her, but the little woman didn't back down.

"Alex is my friend," Finn muttered. "I've known her a lot of years." More than twenty years in fact. "You're angry about her children," Baba Yaga rumbled. "I should have killed Penny," he said. "I wish I'd killed her." "Weak," she spat. "Why don't you put in some _work_ helping us," growled Star?! "Instead of pushing people's buttons! Fuck! You're like an even more cunty version of Marceline!" Without another word, the little woman got up and stormed off. Thor rushed off after her, barely reaching the door to their shared room before she slammed it in his face. Silence took hold then with nobody really wanting to look at anyone else for fear of having to address those unpleasant words.

With a heavy sigh, Baba Yaga murmured, "I deserved that." "Then help us," said Nadia. "What can we do to stop this madman?" "Tomorrow," sighed Baba Yaga. "Tomorrow we do battle. Andreivich will deploy his minions of the grave. You will contain them for me. I will handle the man himself." "Why you," Finn asked? With a shrug, she said, "if you must know, death is the very antithesis of what I am. I am life. I am the embodiment of life-giving water. I am the soul of the life-giving soil..." "Meaning," Nadia demanded? "Meaning her powers are useless against his undead, Nadia," Finn murmured. "Drastically reduced," the witch corrected. "I'm far from my river, and my powers are weakened here in this parched land. He's at his strongest." Reaching out, Finn said, "together, then." For a wonder, she accepted the gesture, shaking his hand vigorously.

Billy came out then, announcing that the bath was ready. He had made it somewhat lukewarm as he wasn't sure what she liked. "It will do, boy," she said. Striding past him, she pinched his ass, giving him a grin over her shoulder. Billy shivered as he watched her shut the door. That was striking a little too close to home for him. He didn't want to raise hell with Ragnhild. Not now. Not ever.

Morning found the witch in the kitchen. She'd been in the bath all night, leaving Finn and his family to share the shower in Nadia's room. Finn had warned Star off of the fit of anger that had threatened to develop. He had a hunch that the witch needed the water a lot more than his daughter did. Rested some from her journey, Baba Yaga was in a good mood–so good in fact that they found her cooking up breakfast. Every face there looked a little askance at their houseguest. Finn didn't doubt that Nadia had some pithy warning to tell them about the risks of trusting a Rusalka's cooking. At the same time, he was grateful that she didn't choose to _share_ her concerns, because he had his suspicions about what snubbing a Rusalka would have gotten them.

Filling in around the table, the family dug in without comment, with Finn going so far as to thank her both for the meal and the help. Billy and Nadia were quick to echo his sentiments, though it took a little more effort to get Star to open up. "We are one happy family," the witch chuckled. Over breakfast, they talked about exactly how this was going to go. Finn had his ideas as to where Andreivich was hiding inside the palace. When he and Nadia had gone in to see Alex, they had been very carefully steered around the old castle/keep that was the ancient headquarters of the Laurel Guard. The Guard currently did business out of a square tower that served as the gate to the palace, but the old tower still stood. Finn would have bet real money that his nemesis was there.

Done with breakfast, the family headed out to serve notice on their enemies. Judgement day was here, and Finn was anxious to see Penny and cram his sword down her gullet. He had a lot of hate for her right now. He knew it was wrong, but that was just how he felt. Penny had to go for the good of Ooo, but Finn wasn't going to shed tears this time at her passing. For her part, Baba Yaga might have been out on a stroll. She was enjoying the day and taking in the sights and sounds of Alexia's capitol as they made their way through the warren of city streets. It was absurd to see that beautiful woman strolling down the street in heels, dressed in that sexy blue dress and soft white fur coat. On any other day, all three males in the little party might have drooled. Many men on that street _did_ drool. Baba Yaga was, in the idiom of Nadia's people 'most beautiful'. At the same time, they were on their way to do battle with the Lich and the Thief King.

Spying the head of the house eyeing her feet for the hundredth time, the witch asked, "what's wrong now? Or do you have a foot fetish...?" Finn flushed to his hair. She hadn't ceased to prick at him about his current circumstances. Everything about him was a chance for her to make lewd suggestions. It was a lot like Marceline used to do, but it was actually even more caustic than his 'bro', making him wish she'd quit it. "He doesn't like your shoes," Nadia muttered. Rolling her eyes, an incredulous Baba Yaga asked, "what? You expected me to go barefoot in this cesspit?" She only did that in the clean out of doors! Calmly, exercising every bit of his patience, Finn told her, "no. I wish you'd chosen better shoes for a fight with Penny's bandits. Unless you can fly like my wife, those are going to break..." The witch flushed to her hair.

They came strolling up to the palace gates at half-past-eight in the morning to find the guards out on patrol, and sullen faces waiting on them. Finn strode up, hands empty, and said, "we need to talk to the Princess..." The guards on duty frowned at him, and one sargent even said, "back, rascal! We heard what you did yesterday! You'll not fare as well this time!" Finn caught himself from rolling his eyes. Instead, he said, "I need to talk to Alexia. It's about her kids. I have infor..." The guards began to come out in force then. They'd been obviously warned of the risk of letting him back inside. Penny had likely made Alexia leave orders for him to be barred.

As if in confirmation of those thoughts, the Captain of the Laurel Guard himself came out, resplendent in his sky-blue uniform. "I'm sorry, Captain Finn," he said. "As one soldier to another, I'm afraid I can't admit you. Things are... different in our fair kingdom now." "I know why," said Finn. "I'm only asking to be allowed to help you..." "...and any other time I'd _accept_ your help with gratitude," said the other man. "Unfortunately..." Baba Yaga strode forward, shouting, "you'll not bar _me_!" The gentleman turned to the furious woman. He was made of pretty stern stuff because, in the face of that raging beauty, he neither cowered nor found himself staring in speechless wonder. Calmly, he asked, "and who are you?" "She's Baba Yaga," Finn replied. "Lady of the Wastes. She's a full-fledged Royal." When the witch might have brushed past him, Finn caught her hand and stopped her. He found her skin a little cool, even clammy.

Softly, he said, "he's just doing his job. Don't hurt him." "Fine, fine," muttered the witch. As she jerked her hand free of Finn's grasp, she uttered a word of power. To Finn's startlement, the fur coat she'd been wearing simply came apart, falling on the ground around her feet. Then the dozen or so animals who'd been part of the coat came to snarling, snapping life. As Finn looked on, the pack of snarling, snapping animals rushed the pack of frightened guards, rocking them onto their heels, and sending many into flight. In short order the courtyard was theirs. Heels click-clacking on the paving stones, the tall woman strode in like she owned the place.

Finn came up alongside her, asking, "anything?" Nodding at the tower, she said, "the same place you suspect. He's in there. Or... _below_ there." "Dungeons," Finn muttered. "Figures." It was time to get at it. Motioning to his family, he said, "let's get this done. Nadia? Hang back with Baba..." The witch bristled at having her name shortened, but nobody was paying attention. The grim pack of them were all for killing some gangsters.

Billy froze the hinges and locks of the tower's heavy iron gate. Finn kicked the door in with one massive blow. And then they waded into the hapless thugs on the far side. These men came wielding crossbows and blades, and the hero of Ooo and his kids did them in like they were nothing more than buzzing flies. The Finn Sword drank lots of blood as Penny's accumulated hangers-on met their ends. Walking in behind them, Baba Yaga whistled. "Thorough," she murmured. "You don't, by chance, have Russian blood?" "You'd have to ask my dad," said Finn, as he stepped off. Nadia flinched. He was in one of _those_ moods. Passive-aggressive-hostile Finn wasn't very pleasant to be around.

Striding down the hall, the pair passed doors leading off the main corridor. At each entry, the big man kicked the door in, Star hurled a blast bolt through the opening, and Billy sealed it with ice. They didn't even wait for the screams. It was a hideous process that left Nadia all but sucking on her thumb. Many of her nobles questioned her judgment in loving a man like Finn. At the same time, she _knew_ why he was in passive-aggressive mode. He got moody when he had to do things like this. Adding to the dreadful mood was the awful _whistling_ the witch did as she watched that hideous display of carnage. She was on a lark, and it was grating on the Grid-Face Princess's nerves.

Reaching the stairs, the trio started down, with Finn admonishing everybody to keep their eyes open. Star conjured one of her curious light-globes, and Nadia found herself studying it's scintillating energy as they went trooping down the stairs. That was why _she_ saw the creature first. It was a deeper darkness on top of the already dark stairs, the corner where it hid seeming to be almost devoid of the usual background energy. She shouted a warning, even as she threw up her personal shield to block its attack. Stepping around the shield, Star hurled a blast-bolt, blowing the undead to smithereens. "Nice," said Baba Yaga, as she kept right on walking.

That set the pattern. Nadia's keen senses located the ugly undead there in the darkness, usually before they could strike. Then either Finn or Star fixed the awful thing in place while the other blasted the creature to nothing or sliced it into gobbets of muck on the stairs. This particular fight–against creatures with no redeeming value–was one Nadia could relish, though Finn seemed to get no joy out of it still.

Grimly, they forced their way all the way down to the dank, dark dungeon, battling their way into the bunker-like space Penny had claimed for herself. There they came face to face with the massive, riotous growth of vines that had been Star's mother. Of Penny herself there was no sign. Finn the human greeted the Lich with, "well... Here we are again..." Ignoring him, the Lich rumbled, "well, hello, Natalia..." Frowning, Baba Yaga demanded, "how do you come to know that name?" "I know many things about you," the Lich replied. "Shall we talk about some of them? Maybe your allies would like to know..."

"Nah," said Finn, as he hurled a burning firebomb at the monstrous creature. The startled monster swatted the bomb aside, then screamed in pain at the sudden caress of the flames. The big man would have rushed forward but then a pack of undead rushed out of a side room. In princess Suadela's voice, their leader announced, "back for more, William? Brought your daddy this time, I see! No matter, it will avail you nothing!"

The fight was on then. The Dipped rushed in and got close, lashing out at Finn and his family. Wielding his defense discs, Finn tied up two of them. Ducking, feinting and dodging, the big man held his own as he kept carefully track of the mass of vines on the ground. Those vines had killed Simon before his eyes. At any given time, they could be killing him. Billy didn't have the Grid-Person technology that his dad and sister had. He made do with sheets of ice along his exposed skin, growing and regrowing the ice as Suadela tried again and again to penetrate his defenses to kill him.

"Clever," hissed the undead hussy, as she dodged his ice-bolts. Feinting and jabbing at him, she conceded, "you're pretty fucking clever, William. Just like daddy. But you're going to get tired eventually. I can do this for the next century!" Billy ignored her. His mind was on the vines too. That and his little sister, who was only barely recovered from her own ordeal yesterday. Star was squaring off against two of the creatures, and she didn't have the advantages their dad had. She was barely holding her own, and she didn't have any energy at all to spare for the vine-creature.

The Lich was focused on his ex. Natalia was just as he remembered her from that fateful night. She was dressed to kill in spike-heels in the Western style. He'd been _challenged_ by that. The woman he had been so infatuated with was slavishly devoted to the bourgeois fashions that a true revolutionary _detested_. Natalia had laughed at him for the suggestion. In her mind, he was the fool–denying his flesh for an unrealizable ideal. She didn't want the world to change the way he did. She just wanted to stop the evil in its tracks. They'd quarreled over it, and he found himself wanting to gloat because he'd done what she couldn't bring herself to consider. Unfortunately, this fucking fool was still here and in his way!

Baba Yaga strode calmly forward as the Lich's vines flailed at her. Those vines seemed to pass right through her. Others seemed to stop right where they were–as if they couldn't bear to harm his mortal enemy. It was a terrifying situation that left the Lich frightened as he'd never been before. He'd learned that she was powerful. After it was all over, he'd learned just what she hid those years she'd been in the spotlight. He hadn't realized she was as powerful as this, though.

"Kak ty blya delayesh' , chto ty, suchka," howled the Lich?! Baba Yaga jabbed a slim finger at him and said, "vy dolzhny byli ostat'sya v vashey tyur'me, Andrey, ty nichego ne stoit mudak. Mir ne dlya vas, chtoby zakonchit', malen'kaya suchka." "Poshel na khuy, shlyukha," howled the Lich! "On ne prinadlezhit k vam tozhe!" He continued to flail at her, but that was just smoke and mirrors now. Behind the witch, one of the undead turned from fighting Star and rushed towards her back. Nadia, who was being a little pressed herself, nevertheless conjured a disc that stopped the creature just as it would have grabbed the witch from behind. "Yeblya suka, shlyukha," howled the Lich! One of his tendrils attempted to skewer the Grid-Face Princess, but suddenly stopped dead in its tracks.

"Chert poberi," howled the evil being?! Over and over he tried to force that tendril to strike home. Each time he did, something fought him, holding that tendril right where it was. Turning to the strongest of his Dipped, the Lich said, "ubit' etu suku! Chertov ubit' yeye!" The big undead that was battling Star suddenly spun about and rushed at Baba Yaga. At the same time, a tendril tore out of the floor, aiming to skewer the little wood nymph. Star conjured a blast bolt and destroyed the undead, blasting it asunder, while strangely the tendril did nothing more than tickle her booted feet.

The world _lurched_ just then. At least it seemed that way to Billy. He could hear Suadela howling and a corner of his mind realized that Star had just done in Nick. At the same time, he took advantage of the fallen princess's distraction to flash freeze the last creature fighting his dad. Baba Yaga reached the center of the teeming mass of vines, and the whole thing evaporated, leaving the body of Emeraude Mertens laying there on the stone. "You were a fool to think to usurp nature from _me_ , Andrei," Baba Yaga muttered.

The witch didn't get long to gloat. The thunderous report of a dart rifle announced Penny's entry to the fray as she stitched the nature spirit in the stomach and chest six times from the darkened side-chamber. As Finn rushed to the witch's side, Star lit up the side-chamber with lightning. Meanwhile Suadela rushed to the Lich's aid, arriving just in time for Nadia to encapsulate the Lich's vessel in a forcefield, thwarting the rescue attempt. Howling in frustrated rage, Suadela rushed into the darkened room, dodging Star's lightning as she went, with Billy running after her.

Nadia strode forward to where an angry Finn cradled the witch. Doffing her mask, the stacked princess asked, "is she...?" "Inconvenienced," burbled the witch. "I need my river. Fuck! That fucking _hurts_!" Billy returned as his father was laying Baba Yaga out on a forcefield disk. "There's a passage down to the caverns," he reported. "Looks freshly dug. She was planning this..." Finn nodded as he gingerly lay their ally down. Staring down at the entrancing beauty, the young man asked, "what're we doing?" "Gotta take her home," said Finn. "You and Star take boneface to Wildberry Kingdom. I'll be there in a few days..."


	50. Chapter 50

Chapter 50:

"Where to," Finn asked? The witch gave him a suspicious look. "Just trying to get you home," Finn promised. "That was what that mobbed-up cabby said in Yakutsk," muttered Baba Yaga. "The Lena, Finn," declared Nadia. "The strongest Rusalka dwelt in the Lena." It was a part of popular folklore. Baba Yaga put out her tongue, but she didn't deny that. Finn got the injured woman strapped in as Nadia headed for the control room. In short order, the airship was moving. Out on the deserted field, Star and Billy watched as the airship soared into the sky, taking their father east to the wastelands beyond Grid-Face Kingdom. They were left with the cleanup. It was time to get about it.

Princess Nadia had left them a powerful portable forcefield machine to do the job of transporting their dangerous cargo, and they were going to be using Ragnhild's train to haul the Lich's vessel to Wildberry Kingdom. With the aid of the few Froyo Guards they had available to them, they were going to escort that train at high speed through the vast wastelands between Laurel Kingdom and Wildberry Kingdom to deliver the Lich to the Privy Council. It was an operation that would have been touch-and-go with a normal prisoner. With a being who was known to steal the bodies of others, it would be all the more difficult. Fortunately both Mertens kids were well-protected. They would take it turn and turn about to keep the Lich in his prison.

The only wild-card in the pack was Suadela. She was still out there. Billy thought they could handle Penny and her goons. They'd be moving fast enough that it would be hard for the Thief King to catch them and harder still for her to set up an ambush. The Dipped was another matter. There weren't many weapons that were effective against her, and she could kill or destroy with just one withering touch. "C'mon, sis," said Billy. Let's go.

The pair of them went down to the Laurel Kingdom's train station where they found the train already set up with the box-car hitched to the rear behind Ragnhild's private car. Billy's chief lieutenant was ready and raring to go. After all, he knew the Lich's reputation, and he wanted to get his men out of this as soon as he could. "Sir," he greeted Billy. "Oskar," Billy replied. "We all set?" "Yes, sir," Oskari replied. "Thanks, Oskar," Billy sighed. "Thanks for all you've done. I want you to know that I'll be speaking to Her Highness about all of you." The older man stared at him in surprise. "Neither you nor she had to do what you've done," Billy reminded him. "Ooo needed you, and you've all jumped in and helped. Thanks. I mean that. My dad would have said it if he could be here." "You're very welcome, sir," said Oskari. "Let's get moving."

The train didn't leave as quickly as the airship had. There were clunks and bumps and jumps as the massive thing lurched slowly into motion. The guards were wary, and they manned the watch stations down the length of the train, keeping an eye out for trouble. Billy himself roamed from one end of the train to the other, overseeing things as his men got the train moving. He was at the front platform, checking up on the cannoneers, and then he went back to the engine, making sure the crew were at their jobs. When the train was roaring down the rails, gathering speed, the big man went aft to check on their prize one more time.

He found his sister there in the mostly-empty box-car. She was standing before the forcefield that held her mother's corpse as if fascinated by the sight. Coming up alongside of his beloved sister, he was afflicted by a tremendous sadness. "Sometimes it feels like I hardly knew her," he whispered. Star sobbed, "that's 'cause we're supposed to get old together, Bill. We're supposed to watch mom and dad get old. We're supposed to watch them bounce their grand-kids on their laps. We're supposed to see them go senile and get cranky when they forget stuff." Billy caught her hand with his. "Fucking Betty," Star howled! "She took them away from us! I ain't ever gonna' forgive that!" Billy hugged his little sister, letting her cry on him.

Far across the land and out in the ocean, Fionna Mertens sat playing cards with some of her dudes in the pathetic pub that was the only fun spot on the island. Across the room her hubby sat playing the keyboard of all things. His dad's old keyboard. He was doing his best to pretend that it wasn't bothering him, but Fionna thought she could see it in moments like this when he was playing that old wreck. His eyes were far away–kind of soul-searchy–and he didn't want much for company. Fionna was ok with it. She understood. She felt that way when she thought about her moms and how much she'd missed the last couple years. She wanted to be there to fix the bad Penny. She wanted to be the one to do it–to make that bitch pay for what she'd done. In the right now, it was the hand she was dealt. Literally.

"Two pair–aces over eights," she said, laying out the cards before Pedersen. Her lieutenant goggled at her. He knew better than to call his boss a cheater, but that was the fifth win in six hands! He'd never seen such luck. Of course he'd have to admit that having Lina playing footsie under the table was distracting him. The cyborg woman was particularly fetching tonight in a skin-tight suit that left little to the imagination. He wanted to thump her in the _worst_ way, and he was almost tempted to beg off cards, drag her behind the building, and get busy. With a frown, Lieutenant Steele rumbled, "that's a bad hand, boss." "Huh," asked Fionna? Stopping in mid-chord, Patrick said, "it's unlucky, Fi. It's a fable from before the Mushroom War. A famous gambler won a card game with that hand, but he was murdered right after. They call it the dead-man's hand, and they say bad things happen to people who win with Aces and Eights."

Silence reigned over the little gathering for several heartbeats. Fionna howled laughter! "That was pretty good, Patrick," she chuckled! "You guys really had me goin'!" Oblivious to the sober faces, she congratulated them on pranking her good. The pretty blonde began shuffling cards again, preparing to deal the next hand. Shaking his head in amusement, Patrick began playing once more. He'd have to have a talk with his lady about this later. Superstition or not, sometimes it was best not to tempt fate.

Outside in the darkness, a heavy figure turned away from the window. They were all there–at least the ones that mattered. All the rest were locked away in the little forts scattered across the island. He'd convinced the Thief King not to go back to raiding the island right away, and, just as he expected, things had gone back to some semblance of normalcy here. Night was night and day was day once more, and everyone was bunkered in and hunkered down against the cold. That gave him time and space to do what he'd come here for.

The burly fellow went stalking across the island, working his way around the patrols as one who knew them. The Duke had done nothing to improve the defenses that had failed so spectacularly the night the Thief King's army had come to free the Lich. More to the point, the Thief King's subterfuge had disabled the nightmare army that protected his goal and locked up its wielders far away. There would be no miraculous last minute defense of the Lich's prison this night. The burly fellow reflected on that as he jogged across the island. He'd warned her about this. He'd warned her away from having anything to do with Princess Bubblegum, and he'd tried to keep her out of the political circus that swirled around the candy monarch. Headstrong to the last, the Flame King had insisted on being part of this. Now she might well be paying the ultimate price. He didn't mind that. In his mind, she had been desecrated already.

He had been doing a lot of soul searching lately. He'd come into this with some mad idea of earning her love once more by proving himself to be more of a hero than Finn could ever hope to be. He'd intended to get himself into the presence of the Thief King on pretense and lies, then end her life. He'd had some thought of going down swinging–his life for hers. When he'd found himself standing there in front of Penny, looking at the shattered _wreck_ of a person she'd become, he'd finally understood. He understood her as nobody else could. She'd lost everything that mattered to her just as he had. She wanted to show the people of Ooo how that felt. Now he wanted the same. He wanted to show Finn what it felt like to lose.

Fionna was staring at the junk in her hand and wondering if she dared try another bluff on her opponents. Steele had all but thrown his cards at her in disgust with the last one. She was pushing their buttons a little, but she _hated_ losing. She wasn't a loser sort of person, and she would stop at nothing short of cheating to win. "C'mon, Fionna," groused Pedersen. He was anxious to lose the last of his coins. He wanted to bang Lina. He wanted to get out of here, take his would-be girlfriend somewhere, and introduce her to his sugary snack. "Ok," muttered the blonde. Before she could ante up, the sounds of the alarms going off all over the island intruded–along with the tell-tale sounds of gunfire.

Fionna was out of her seat in the space of a breath. This was it. Sex forgotten, her lieutenant rose too. Lina asked, "do you think?" "I don't know," growled Fi, "but I think you better get those ships ready..." "Right," replied the cyborg-hottie. Tugging on her mask, she rushed out of there. Pedersen turned to his boss, who said, "follow the plan. Everybody goes home, ok?" He nodded, then he too split. Steele said, "I'll go babysit dukey." Leaving Fi to go see just what they were up against. As Patrick watched, his girl headed for the door. She was covered in that reddish-pink armor before she took five steps. He had his own part to play. Closing the cover on his father's keyboard, he took one last look at it. "Love you dad," he whispered. Setting the keyboard aside, he too left the little bar.

Fionna found that the baddies were coming up through their old invasion route–straight up from the beach in the south, straight through the Fluffy-People's old village, and straight into the Lich Container. The numbers were much lower than they had ever been in the past. She might even have called the numbers _paltry_. It was very tempting to just move in and mop them up all by herself!

As the range shortened, the troops opened fire from their forts, laying into the bandit army with as much fury as they could muster. They felled many, but the enemy kept coming. They marched grimly forward until the range hit some kind of sweet spot. Then they went _running_ forward on the double, shrugging off the incoming fire until at last they entered the old trench line. And that was where they stayed. The pack of enemy troops stayed there, exchanging fire with the forts. _Stupid, scarface,_ thought Fionna. _Really, really dumb._ Rushing forward, she conjured her twin blades, dove headlong into the trench and got to work.

On the far side of the island, Cinnamon Bun strolled calmly into the control station for the forcefield. This time of the night there were only a handful of the grid-people on duty. Others would be joining, but that would come too late. Striding up to the first person he saw, the massive pastry drove his heavy sword between the woman's vertebrae, severing her spine, and dropping her to the deck, where she flopped and flailed.

Ducking behind a massive chunk of machinery, the rogue candy-person waited until another grid-face person rushed into the room, summoned by the first. This one he decapitated, slashing the man's head off cleanly at the shoulders. As the body toppled, spurting arterial blood on the floor, the evil candy-person relocated to another part of the room, circling back towards the door as he did so. One by one he killed them as they tried to deal with the chaos he was sowing in their ranks. When he'd killed the five in the control station, he sealed the door and got to work on the real reason for his coming here.

Fionna was in the midst of unleashing hell on the men in the trench, slaughtering her way through the bandits and the handful of wood nymph wizards who supported them, when the earbud in her ear rang. "Go," she grunted, as she eviscerated a purple-person, leaving him there on the ground clutching at his innards. Stalking forward, menacing the people in front of her, Fionna waited for the hysterical person on the other end of the line to explain. It was Lina, and she had something dreadful to report. Lina's cousin was in the control room, and she was laying in a pool of her own blood watching Cinnamon Bun as he set charges throughout the control station. Lina could literally see through her cousin's eyes as the rogue candy-person tried to blow up the Lich Container.

Her hot blood gone ice cold, Fionna stopped right where she was. This was it. This was everything she feared. "You can't save her, Lina," she murmured. "This is her last gift to us. Round up every grid-person on the island. Get them on those ships. That's my last order to you. Get your peeps off the island." She hung up then. Dialing Pedersen, she issued the same orders. She wanted him moving. The shield generators didn't matter without their master control and power source. Honestly, the pretty blonde feared just what would happen to those forts when Cinnamon Bun set off his bombs. When she'd warned away the Froyo Guard, she turned to her dad's peeps, sending Steele and his men scrambling to get away from their current posting. This was all coming unglued.

Calmly the pretty blonde stood in the heart of the fire, fending off attackers with casual blows from her swords. She even used a new trick on them, reaching out with her mind to cause razor-sharp shards of glass to shoot up out of the ground to impale them or deflect their own weapons back into their faces. Meanwhile, she went down the list of names, calling each faction in its turn. Breakfast Guards. The one or two of Phoebe's dudes on the island. The Muscle People. Berry People. She warned them all, even though she knew some would scoff and choose to stay right where they were.

When she'd warned the last person, she calmly turned to the dead men before her, saying, "whatever Penny told you is a lie. You were sent here on a suicide mission to let the Lich out of his cage. You won't receive gold. You won't get kingdoms of your own. You'll die frozen into a block of ice. There are ships waiting at the water south and east of here and to the north and east as well. Get to those ships. That's your last chance to leave here alive." And with that, she turned and began walking west. She had to buy time. She had to do the unthinkable and slow down the monstrous madman who'd slain her mother before he killed everybody on the island.

It began as a distant rumbling. Fionna could _hear_ the bombs going off, and she sent up a silent prayer to Glob. Lina's cousin was a nice girl, and she didn't deserve to end up in Death's Rock Quarry. Fionna hoped she went straight to dead world to see all the peeps who'd gone before. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a bright flash of light that likely would have been blinding without the pale red crystal that shielded her. _Another thing to thank Patrick for,_ she decided. One by one, the massive towers that Nadia's people had erected on the island went up with enough force to shake the earth for miles. They blew up with a light so blinding that Fionna saw stars before her eyes even through the crystal. Behind her, they left smoking craters where Pedersen's guys had been. Fionna marched on past the Fluffy People's ruined town and straight towards the far end of the island. It wouldn't be long now.

Patrick Petrikov was waiting when the first streams of people came down the bluff to the ship. He was waiting to get control over this thing, directing Froyo Guards and Muscle People to the boarding ladders. He directed many more to the frozen walkways he'd created leading to the ships that had been forgotten and abandoned off shore. This was his part to play. Fionna had been expecting this to all go south, and she'd been all too right. He'd guessed that this was the night when he saw the hand his lady had drawn. _Aces and Eights,_ he thought. That wasn't a good hand for a professional gambler, and Fionna was as professional a gambler as there was.

The shadow passed over Fionna almost before she realized it was there. It was only her ceaseless, almost-paranoid scanning of the sky that let her spot the pale shade flying across the moon. Unfortunately, it was just a beat too late. As Fionna watched in horror, her mother's corpse lashed out, filling the sky with the deep corrosive _chill_ of the void. Fionna knew she was seeing people die. He was killing whoever he saw. Fionna rushed after the Lich, screaming and shouting at him. The awful entity never acknowledged her. Instead, he swooped back and forth hurling bolts of ice and freezing the land.

Meanwhile, the Duke of Nuts came rushing into the space he'd taken as his headquarters, having been flattened by the explosion of one of the forcefield machines. Struggling to pull his pants up as he rushed through the station, he shouted for his officers. Sir Erich greeted him with a plaintive, "Sir!" "What the devil's going on," howled the Duke?! "I... we had everything in hand!" Erich Rudolf replied, "someone's sabotaged the machines! We had reports of an intruder... then the explosions started!" The Duke grabbed at his sparse hair in shock and consternation. His wife had lobbied her fellow Royals to get him this commission! If she found out how he'd botched things, she was going to kill him!

Trying to calm himself, the doddering fool said, "all's not lost. I-I just need to regroup the army. W-where's the army?" "Blown up, sir," Sir Reinhold replied. "They were all encamped in the forts around the antennae when the chain-reaction blew them up. We only have a few handfuls of the Nut Guard left..." That second report came like a blow to the body! Crimson Lightning's strategy had never failed him in Clash of the Humanoids before this! Now it had failed him _twice_! _Easy, Ernst,_ he told himself. _We still have the Death Machines._ Rushing over to the strange cylindrical console that Bonnie Bubblegum had left, the loon tore off the tarp he'd used to cover it. Slapping his hand down on the crystaline palm-pad atop the machine, he called out, "I am Ernst Zoranski, Duke of Nuts, Binder of the Three Rivers, Lord General of the Privy Council! I do command you to bring the army to life!"

The handful of guardsmen in the room stared at their master as if he had gone mad. Pressing his palm firmly into the strange hand-shaped pad, the fool shouted, "I command thee! I am rightful authority on this island! Bring my army to life!" "Sire," said Reinhold. "Perhaps it is time to flee... The Grid-Face people may..." "Nonsense," howled the foolish noble! "We can still triumph! Help me! Erich?! You're good with computers! Help me get this fool thing started! I need my password reset!"

Shortly that was the least of his problems. The temperature in the headquarters dropped precipitously, and the steel groaned and creaked. The duke and his few remaining henchmen watched in stunned disbelief as the walls grew layer upon layer of frost before the very air itself began to liquify. The duke's last thoughts were that his wife was going to kill him.

Outside, Fionna the Human rushed up to see boneface standing in triumph atop the ice cube that had been the headquarters. It appeared that dukey had bit the big one. Before her eyes, the evil entity took flight once more. He was headed for the beach where her dudes were trying to escape. She had to stop him before he got there. Racing after him, she shouted, "hey boneface! The Lich was hardly paying attention. He was focused on the sweet, _succulent_ life ahead of him. "You hear me," screeched Fionna! "Get your ass back here!" Reaching deep inside, the pretty blonde accelerated, rushing ahead of the evil madman. It was only then that the creature spotted her.

Dropping to the ground, the Lich gave her a frown. In a voice like ice grinding on a tombstone, he asked, "what manner of _thing_ are you?" Circling the bad bunny he said, "you _feel_ alive, yet I see crystal..." "I'm not a _thing_ , jackass," she said. "I'm Fionna the Human Girl!" That gave the demonic mass-murderer pause. He'd already had his other prisoner get quite in the way while he was battling the other Mertens children. He didn't need another dangerous battle with one of Finn's little brats. "Go run and play, child," growled the evil being. "This game is for adults."

With a shout of rage, Fionna rushed him, her twin swords cleaving the space where he'd been. He was just a beat slow, and the nasty little bitch almost got him. How could he be that slow? And then it hit him. Just as he feared, his host was fighting him–literally sacrificing her own life for her bastard daughter's. _Nice try, bitch,_ he told his prisoner. Taking flight once more, he reached for the power and hurled a massive bolt of ice at her, intending to crush her utterly. Fionna had another shock in store for him. Reaching deep inside herself, she called out to the land beneath her feet. A massive menhir of pure silica speared through the surface, canceling the ice in a shower of stone-shards and ice-crystals.

The evil being hurled another bolt and then another to the same result. At the same time, Fionna conjured spears of sharp crystal and hurled them, slashing the tattered dress and drawing blood. "Bl'yad," howled the Lich! What the fuck was this creature?! Flying higher, he strove to distance himself from his would-be opponent. She was a little too much trouble right now. He had better ways of handling her. When he'd sunk all the ships at the beach and killed everyone in sight, she would be alone, letting him starve her to death or pick her off at his leisure. Irate that he would flee, the leggy blonde chased her foe, shouting, "you come back here, you _coward_!"

The Lich ignored her. Flying high and fast, he rushed towards the beach to find that, much to his shock, the ships were gone! He'd expected to find the teeming masses of stragglers there. He'd _sensed_ them. Now he sensed many of them were already gone over the horizon. There were just a few ships left, with just handfuls of people still trying to board. As Fionna watched in horror, the evil being that was Death's puppet lashed out, freezing one of the smaller ships solid. Fionna squealed in horror, grabbing at her helmet-covered hair. How many had he just killed?! Were any of her friends aboard that boat?

He was playing with them. He was toying with the people who were still trying to leave the island. He targeted the next larger boat, and he slowly began to coat it in ice, causing it to list and sink lower and lower in the water. Many of the people who'd been trying to get aboard were frozen on Patrick's temporary piers. He was killing dozens if not hundreds of peeps, and Fionna felt her heart sink. She'd tried so hard! _It's not over,_ she decided. Even if it cost her life, she was going to see the rest escape. Reaching deep inside her, she unlocked another piece of the puzzle. The crystals talked to her. She could hear them. She could hear them in the wind. She could hear them in the stone walls of the forts. She heard them in the artificial stone of the little shack she'd shared with Patrick. And she heard them in the sands of the beach. Having defeated their master in fair battle, they were now hers to command.

The Lich was having a grand time hurling these struggling, straggling fools into the afterlife–howling laughter and teasing at them–when the first shard of glass nicked a lock from his host's head. He barely dodged the next. Twisting and turning through the sky, he fired back at the impertinent little bitch on the beach. How was she doing that? His host had been certain that Fionna was no wizard. She was a sword-swinger–like her idiot father. So how was she able to twist the land itself against him?! "Suka," he muttered. "She's going to die!"

Swooping down towards the lithe figure on the beach, he hurled all his might at her. Ships forgotten, he hurled swirling storms of ice and snow. He chilled the temperature down as far as he could take it, freezing the ground down to bedrock. She seemed not even to notice the temperature. Moving and attacking, she kept up the pressure, as, behind him, another ship escaped. And then another. "This is just a waste of time," he shouted! "I'm going to win! They're all on borrowed time, suka!" "You can suka my shorts, dipshit," Fionna retorted! He hurled another bolt of frozen malice. A stony menhir deflected it.

She was far more powerful than he would have credited. He needed an edge! His mind went back to the ships. One of them was beached–stuck half on the sand and half off. He remembered the whirling propellers as they tried desperately to unstick that ship. Breaking off the engagement, he turned back to the ship. "I'll kill them, suka," he shouted! "I'll freeze them all to death. Only surrender, little one. Surrender, and I'll let them go." Fionna stopped dead in her tracks. Patrick had been intending to take that ship. It was literally the last ship, and she had a good idea that he meant to take that one to give her one last chance to catch up. Boneface wouldn't let them go. The minute she surrendered, he'd kill them all. She was boned–caught between a rock and a hard place. _Unless...,_ she thought.

"You're running out of time, suka," growled the Lich! "I need that answer!" "I got an answer for you, boneface," Fionna retorted. Thrusting her hands into the soil, she caused the ground to shudder. Before his very eyes, the sandy soil of the beach liquified, sloughing into the sea, and freeing the trapped ship. The ship began to move, backing swiftly away. "Well, that was your last group of friends," the Lich chuckled, as he swooped at her. "Yeah," she said. "At least I _have_ friends!" "You little," snarled the evil being!

Fionna could see Patrick at the door of the wheelhouse. She couldn't see his face, but she imagined how he would look. _I love you,_ she thought at him. Then she turned and raced up the slope to the interior of the island, with the Lich in hot pursuit. Behind her, Patrick clenched his fist around the rail in his hand. The great love of his life. And he was _here_ on this fucking boat. He hated life some days. At the same time, he had a responsibility. Turning to Pedersen, he said, "get us out of here. Fast as this tub'll go."

Fionna raced up off the beach, running as fast as she could. She had his full attention now. The evil bastard cackled with glee as he toyed with her, blasting the ground around her with tendrils of preternatural cold. She could feel the earth weep from the bite of those icy lashes. Now and again she conjured slabs of stone to deflect his wrath when he would have cornered her. She'd done just what she'd set out to do. All her dudes were off the island. They were safe as they could be with this sick fucker still roaming free. Problem was, she hadn't really planned far enough ahead to think of how _she_ was going to get off this island. She couldn't dodge this fucker forever, and she knew it.

"Just lay down, suchka," he growled. "Just lay down and _sleep_." As she would have spun about and flipped him off–just when she was thinking of making her final stand–a shimmering object came hurtling out of the haze. Fighting the icy cold, a Grid-Person airship came hurtling out of the sky. It was a tiny little thing, and Fionna could hardly believe it was here. As it slammed into the ground just a few feet from her, the Lich shouted, "oh, no you don't!" Fionna shouted at the pilot, "drive!" And then she was running alongside the ugly little rattletrap, doing her best to shield it from the madman's wrath.

Her mind reached out to the earth, smoothing the ground, making the soil flow and the rocks flatten themselves out. Trouble was, boneface was getting closer with every moment, as he hurled bolts of jagged ice and did his best to suck all the warmth out of the air. Finally one of the crew grabbed Fionna by the scruff and hauled her aboard as the machine lurched out over a cliff. As the Lich howled dire threats and curses, the thing shuddered and shook, then finally caught the breeze, gaining altitude as it reached the sea. They left the raging Lich behind, shouting curses. When they were well out to sea and out of his reach, an exhausted Fionna lay herself against the bulkhead. Spent as she was, the pretty blonde was asleep just moments after.

Far across the lands of Ooo, Ragnhild the Froyo Princess's private train roared through the night. Billy the Human dozed on the couch in his lady's private car as his sister took her turn at watch. It was three hours on and three hours off. Periodically Thor would bring coffee or food to keep them going on their vigil. The trip had been uneventful thus far. The train had stopped twice for fuel and water before thundering onward across the land. Now as the clock ticked off the hours until his lady could rest again, Thor arrived not with coffee but with bad news.

Tapping Billy on the shoulder, he woke the younger man, saying, "we got trouble." Billy swam up out of the darkness to find the train slowing. "Oskar says somethin's on the track," Thor explained. Billy knew what _that_ meant. The hero went to the intercom and dialed up the lead car. Oskar answered immediately. "There's a contingent of Berry Guards and Peanut Guards on the tracks," he explained. Acknowledging that, the big man ordered the train on high alert.

Star joined them as the train was being shunted onto a siding. Moments later, a member of the Berry Guard was at the door looking for Billy. With his few troops at his back, the Captain of the Froyo Guard met his two counterparts in the Princess's audience chamber. The Peanut Person was looking around him in amazement at the oppulent surroundings. The Berry Guard was all business. Striding boldly forward, he said, "the Privy Council is given to understand that you have captured one of the Lich's personas..." Billy said nothing to confirm or deny that and an awkward silence held sway.

Seeing the defiance writ in the young man's stance, the towering Berry Person handed across a writ. "It's sealed and witnessed by your princess, _Captain_ ," he declared. Billy took the missive and stared at it a moment, turning it over and over in his hands. It was sealed with Ragnhild's signet. With a sigh, he slit the seal open, finding a rather ugly letter inside, sealed with Wildberry's signet along with a half-dozen other seals. "Dammit," he muttered. Frowning, Star said, "we're not giving boneface to those losers!" Oskar put a calming hand on her shoulder and said, "we're outnumbered, Miss. They've got the tracks blocked. We'd never make it past them..." Billy muttered curses as he turned to face his _colleagues_ once more.

"Alright," said he. "You can ride back to Wildberry Kingdom with us..." The peanut-man replied, "already have a train. It's not as nice as this, but..." Indeed, as they watched, a rough-looking trained pulled in alongside them loaded down with Berry Guards and Peanut Guards. And some of those were carrying guns. Oskar was right. They weren't getting out of this without a really nasty fight that could see the Lich's prison accidentally opened. Turning to his lieutenant, Billy said, "Oskar, decouple the prison car please."

The Froyo Guard backed the prison car out onto the mainline and cut it free of the train. Then they moved the Royal Train back onto the siding. As a fuming Billy watched, Wildberry's goons rode off with the Lich. Star was fit to be tied, and she stormed off the minute the berries had the car hitched up. It was only as the other train was dwindling into the distance that the big man thought of his sister. Oskar had the train secure, and they were waiting to leave when Thor came in with some very bad news. "She's gone," he muttered. Eyes narrowing on his brother-in-law, Billy rumbled, "what do you mean? Gone?" Face gone hot, the giant replied, "I think she stowed away on the enemy train."

Meanwhile, in the heart of old Siberia, by the banks of the Lena, Finn the Human was saying his goodbyes to his strangest ally yet. Baba Yaga or Natalia, whatever her name truly was, reminded him a lot of Simon, spiced with a dash of Marceline's dad for good measure. She was older than old but snarky and funny in a very earthy way. He liked her in a lot of the same ways that he liked Simon. He could tell she'd been through a lot, but somehow she was still the same person she'd always been. She wasn't afraid to tweak the noses of people who were too full of themselves–like Nadia–and mostly she was trying to do the right thing, even if it wasn't always obvious what that was.

"I used to melt men's minds," said the witch, as she toweled off after another long dip in the river. "Now it seems I melt women's minds..." Embarrassed to be caught staring, the Grid-Face Princess glanced away from her industrious scanning of their host. Nadia, Finn knew, was intensely curious about what made the Rusalka tick. She was constantly scanning the older woman with her science-biz and trying to figure out how the old witch was able to heal the way she did. She'd confided to Finn that it was sort of like the nanites that infested her own body. Microbes in the water were slowly rebuilding the witch's body.

In point of fact, now that she was caught out staring, she turned her full attention to Finn, stroking his arm and making moon-eyes at him to the point where he coolly told her, "I need to talk to Baba Yaga alone. Would you please go and check the ship like I asked?" The witch _was_ getting better. After spending the flight fading in and out of consciousness, she was now walking and talking just as if she hadn't been shot three times in the chest and stomach. She was even back to her usual level of snark, a habit that irritated Nadia to no end. Strangely enough, Baba Yaga found the irritation even more amusing than the comments that caused it. She'd confided to Finn that his would-be girlfriend was not only quite capable of her own level of snark, she was probably capable of a lot worse. She was acting on her best behavior around a man she was unsubtly trying to reel in with all her might.

Finn had been doing his best to mediate between the two. He went out and gathered up food to eat–doling out vegetables to suit the Rusalka's lifestyle and hunting up a little meat for he and Nadia. He did the bulk of the talking, letting them both be cranky and crotchety as their hearts desired. It was, in some ways, like his early days with Simone and E. Though his first wife had agreed to let E stay with them, even unto adopting Star as her child too, the two women hadn't gotten on well in the opening months of their mad relationship. There were moments where Finn had seriously considered building E a cottage out back of the treehouse just to foster some peace. Things had gotten better, though.

Things here in this ruined city had gotten a lot better too, though Nadia still looked as though she wanted to claw Natalia's eyes out. Finn had been edging towards a dangerous question. He wanted to know just what it was that the deadly Baba Yaga guarded in her domain. He feared it was something deadly enough for the Lich to want. They had his nemesis in custody, but he would have liked to have both halves of his enemy confined in the Night-O-Sphere. More to the point, Penny was still out there somewhere, nursing her rage and hatred for every other living person in Ooo. Unfortunately, Nadia couldn't be bothered to take a hint. Instead of going to check up on the airship as he'd asked, she was intent on being clingy.

At least she had until now. Incensed, she shot to her feet and stormed off. As the angry Grid-Face Person walked out of sight and earshot, the witch turned to her inadvertent champion and said, "why do you resist her? She is most beautiful and far prettier than some of your _other_ choices." Finn flushed to his hair. Still, he answered honestly, "I didn't ask to be in this spot, Your Highness. I... don't want to put more women in this spot than I already have. I'm a fool, and I wouldn't force her to live this foolish life of mine."

Baba Yaga snorted, "you _are_ a fool. They have all chosen the life they live. Have they not said as much? Be gone with you. We'll speak later." Now he _knew_ she was watching him. At the same time, he was shocked to find that, somehow, he'd managed to irritate her again over something that really didn't seem as if it should have mattered. Still, he knew a dismissal when he heard one. It appeared his question would have to wait. Rising, he gave her a deep, sweeping bow, turned, and got on his way. He left a relieved Rusalka. She had a deep and abiding paranoia about the thing she guarded, and he had been stroking the strings of her fears with the questions he'd been asking. Far more clever than the horny airhead who'd all but offered to suck him off, Finn Mertens was a very dangerous man. She saw in him qualities that would have made a most excellent ally, but she feared him all the same.

Meanwhile, Finn took his time following Nadia back to the airship. He'd struck out. He had struck out with their host, and he was a little irritated by that. At the same time, he didn't want to hurt Nadia's feelings. He still cared about her–as much as he cared about any of the mad women who'd chosen to tie themselves to him. He found the stacked Royal waiting by the door to the flying machine. Without a word, she immediately turned and climbed aboard, letting him know she was pissed. He was a little irritated himself. This hardly seemed the time for this kind of problem.

The princess spoke not a word as she raised the ramp. Finn suffered through the silence with no idea what he could say or do to take them through this. Nadia turned and walked away, headed for the control booth at the front of the plane. With a heavy sigh, Finn set down his pack and followed her. He found his host preparing the airship for launch. She had her mask on, and everything about her suggested she was really, really pissed.

There was no finesse involved in getting the aircraft airborne. It lurched and bucked drunkenly beneath them. Finn found himself fighting to remain calm when he _knew_ she wanted to scare him. He kept his cool when many more provocations were in the offing. The tall princess tried to make herself as grotesque as she could, plugging various pieces of her anatomy into the ship to shock him. Finn finally settled on a policy of just shutting his eyes and ignoring her. He just wanted her to calm down so he could talk some sense into her.

Somewhere in the darkened skies over the dead lands east of Wildberry Kingdom he got his chance. She'd gotten up and hit the toilet. Returning to her seat, she intentionally made noises as if trying to wake him. "I'm not asleep, Nadia," Finn muttered. "Sometimes I think I'll never sleep again..." Her jaw came unhinged. The tall beauty sat herself and plugged in her control jack. When he opened his eyes, he found her sitting there in her chair watching him, and she'd finally taken the mask off. "Spit it," he said. "I'm not intimidated by super-robot Nadia. One of my girlfriends is an android, remember?" Chin jutting, she said, "you say you think I'm pretty, but you push me away... Why did you pick _them_ and not me...?"

Irritated–he was still bothered by things he had seen or heard while they were at Natalia's place–Finn growled, "do you think I woke up one day and decided to cheat on Simone and E, Nadia?!" It was the first he'd _ever_ raised his voice to her. Scrubbing his fingers through his hair, he shouted, "yeah, I could've left my nephew's engagement party drunk off my ass and driven over eight-hundred miles in one night to see you so I could cheat on my wives!" A chagrined Nadia shut her mouth. Slicking back his hair, Finn muttered curses. "Why do women do this," he growled?! "You tell us we're jerks if we cheat, but you try to pull us into doing just that!" Blushing furiously, the pretty princess tried to refute that, but Finn held up a hand to stop her.

As she stared at him in stunned surprise–that he would order her about that way–Finn frowned and said, "something's on board with us..." Those words, coming from Finn, were ominous. Rising, the big man unplugged her control jack, saying, "I don't know if he can reach you through that..." He wasn't losing anybody else to that bastard. Nadia flushed to her orange hair. She knew who 'that bastard' was. Rising, Nadia put the plane on autopilot, as she followed Finn to the cockpit door. As the pair descended to the main level, Nadia asked the obvious, "how do you know it's him? We left him shackled in a boxcar."

Finn's mind was focused on living through this. "How far are we from Wildberry's place," he asked? "At least four hours out from the border," Nadia replied. "Another thirty to her city..." _Not good, Finn,_ the big man thought. They were looking at going down in the empty no-man's land that had spawned Penny's army. It was pretty certain that nobody there would be willing–or even _able_ –to help them. Opening the door, Finn said, "button up. We don't know what's out here. Get your shield-thing-a-ma-bobber ready." Fight forgotten, she did what he asked without question. As she slipped the mask over her face, she said, "there are parachutes. Near the cargo door. If we reach them..." He knew. They could leave the plane. Trouble was, he had a suspicion that whatever had decided to reveal itself was between them and those 'chutes.

The cargo area was dark when they entered. Frowning to herself, Nadia rumbled, "I left the lights on. I'm certain of it." Finn was starting to get a really good feel for who was here with them. He'd feared it was the Lich himself, but his minions were nearly as dangerous in their own way. Reaching out, Nadia flicked the light-switch. Nothing happened. "How's that possible," she burbled? "Some kinds of wire come wrapped in material that can rot," Finn muttered. He vaguely remembered that from when Bon helped him rewire the treehouse. Nadia gasped as she realized just what they were dealing with. And he was right. He was oh-so-right.

Her people had rewired nearly all the resurrected airships they flew. They had found them heaped in forgotten cities and abandoned military sites, rotting and forgotten. They'd lovingly restored them all, replacing miles and miles of wiring. The coating that sheathed all of those wires was an organic polymer they got from vegetable matter. It was _intended_ to biodegrade. If ever the remnant of humanity disappeared, it had been intended to rot away to preserve the environment. Now it was a deadly achilles heel waiting for their unwanted passenger to attack.

"We need the 'chutes, Finn," she murmured. Finn nodded, but his mind was already two steps ahead. Reaching into a pocket, he slipped out the nuke-lamp that Bonnie gave him and fastened the strap around his head. They needed one of the defensive forcefield gadgets the ship came stocked with. He had a feeling that their opponent would have already sabotaged any parachutes.

Step by step, they made their way aft with the big man literally blocking for the pretty princess. He shown his lamp this way and that, searching ceaselessly. Halfway back, Nadia squealed, and Finn whirled around just in time to see a column of utter darkness draw back from her. "Little bitch," snarled Nadia! She heaped curses on the terrible creature as she ducked behind the man she loved. Finn was a little startled to realize that Natalia wasn't kidding. Nadia had quite the potty-mouth. Not that he minded. He would have had the same reaction. "What did you call me," growled Suadela Galitsis? "You don't want to know," Finn retorted. "Huh," muttered the undead princess as she coalesced into her more familiar form.

"I'm sorry, princess," he told the dead woman. "For what," growled the undead? "That I wasn't there to save you," Finn replied. The undead laughed in his face. "You can't even save your precious Bonnibel," Suadela retorted. "With mom and the other ringers on the council prepared to vote her ass down, she'll be lucky if they don't shoot her on the spot!" "Thanks," said Finn. Frowning, the undead demanded, "for what?" "Telling me my guess was right," Finn replied. "Now I know why Penny snatched you. How many others did she get?" "Beats me," growled Suadela. "Not that it mattes. You won't live to tell anyone." She began to back them up, slowly stepping forward.

"I needed you to get me out to the witch's place and back," she explained. "Now my master knows where that bitch is holed up." Which confirmed another fear of Finn's. The Lich had a history with Baba Yaga. It was a history that maybe went back further than the witch even realized herself. "Now that I'm close, I don't really have a use for you," the undead chuckled. Nadia growled, "you'll die too if we crash." Which comment made Suadela howl laughter. Shaking her head, she reminded the pilot, "but I'm already dead, sweetie." Suadela casually held up the tattered pieces of a parachute, adding, "I'm afraid you're not gonna' walk away from this one." "Nu my zadnitsy trakhal pryamo seychas," Nadia muttered. Finn turned and said, "now I'm seeing the real you." He could almost tell she was blushing under the mask.

The fight began in that instant. The minute Finn seemed to lose his focus, the undead attacked, lashing out with a tendril of death. Finn had just wanted to get her to jump before she backed them all the way up to the ramp. It was on then with Finn the Human slashing at her with the Finn Sword, doing his bet to dice Suadela Galitsis into little gobbets of muck, while she tried just as hard to melt him down to a putrid puddle of muck on the deck-plates. They were surprisingly well matched. Tied down as he was by the need to shield Nadia, Finn couldn't exploit his superior speed.

For her part, Nadia's mind was on a plan. She wasn't Finn. She lived by logic and reason. Part of the whole reason for being a cyborg was to take emotion out of the equation–something she'd always had some trouble with. She didn't have the _instincts_ that Finn had, and that was a handicap in a spot that required fast thinking. _No parachutes. No parachutes,_ she thought. _What the fuck are we going to do without parachutes?_ She knew this creature had likely sabotaged something far deeper than the lights. Finn had been right to unplug her from the network. She would have to remember that. Just then the timber of the ship's four engines changed, and she suddenly remembered that the fuel-bladders in the wings also were made of organic material.

There was one thing that wasn't. The survival tent. Rushing to the carton on the wall of the aircraft, Nadia snatched the silvery metal thing out of its container. "Finn," she shouted. "I've an idea!" "Damn," muttered Suadela, as she tried to get around the hero. Finn backpedaled, deflecting the corrupted princess as she sought to kill his friend. Nadia had one of her many tools out, and he could see her welding the thin tubes of the tent-frame together into the framework of something else. "Work faster, babe," he shouted! "I don't think we've got a lot of time left!"

Nadia slapped the quick release for the ramp, venting the cargo bay to the atmosphere. Finn had just enough time to catch her outstretched hand before they were plummeting through space, on a one-way trip straight down. Nadia shouted at him to take hold of the contraption she'd slapped together. As he got a firm grip on the metal bars, she deployed the makeshift wing. It was like a maple seed, and it began to slowly twist in the wind, slowing their fall. In her mind, she wanted to squeal in delight. It was very much like something _Finn_ would have come up with. That was why she loved him. He didn't care about science. His lovely, lovely mind did just fine without all the numbers and complex math.

Finn, for his part, saw one small problem. Hanging on in front of her, he could see what she couldn't. She hadn't had a lot of time to slap this thing together. The tent-frame that they were holding onto hadn't been intended for this kind of abuse and her quicky-welds were in danger of coming apart. They weren't going to make it. Not together. The big man stared down at the ground–rushing up at them just now. They were coming in kind of a lot too-hot. Closing his eyes, Finn let go.


	51. Chapter 51

Chapter 51:

He was laying in a heap beneath a tree when she found him. She'd half expected to see him splattered all over the ground. He did look like he'd smacked every branch on his way down the tree. As she stood there crying, a groan of pain announced that, in spite of the odds, Finn was still among the living. The tall princess rushed to his side. Opening his eyes, he greeted her with, "hey..." Nadia couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry. "I'm glad I had the chance to know you," he murmured. He sounded as bad as he looked. Reacting quickly, the beautiful woman scanned him with her sensors.

"Y-you're bleeding inside," howled Nadia! "Yeah," he coughed, "I'm pretty messed up." Brushing her lovely face with the back of his hand, he said, "I just wanted to have the chance to apologize for hurting you. You're really a beautiful lady. Any dude'd be lucky to have a girl as smart, pretty, and awesome as you, Nadia. Don't waste your time on me..." "No," howled the horrified royal as she cradled his head against her heavy boobies.

And then he was floating free. He felt... regret. For the first time ever, he felt regret. He had so much he wanted to say to his kids. He had things he would have said to the girls. "Hey, Finn," a familiar voice said. Finn whirled around to find Simon there. Warily he asked, "what did I ask you when you brought Simone to my door?" "Asked me if I'd killed somebody," chuckled Simon. "I told you I'd brought her to life..." Before he finished speaking, Finn was hugging him hard enough that it hurt. "I missed you," the younger man rumbled. Simon grinned back.

Stepping back, Finn asked, "is Simone here?" He glanced around him, hope lighting his eyes. "That's what I'm here to tell you," said Simon. "Simone's not dead. Neither's Emeraude..." Finn's jaw hung. Then he began to cuss. He'd assumed boneface was lieing! He'd thought he would never see them again! "Overheard Theo makin' plans," said Simon. "He's been kinda' pissed about me creating Simone for years. He wants her dead but only after he gets you. She's leverage." Rolling his eyes, Finn said, "but I _am_ dead! He's got no reason to spare them now!"

Simon laughed at him. Shaking his head, the former Ice-King asked, "you really think that girl's letting you go like that, Finn?" Finn goggled at him, but Simon was moving on. Said he, "got two more things to tell you. One, I think you're onto something with Baba Yaga. I remember Yuri talking about her. Like he _knew_ her." Finn nodded and asked, "and the second?" "Invest in Viagra and baby wipes," retorted Simon. "You'll need both..."

Finn opened his eyes to find the sun up and shining. Judging by the sun's position in the sky, it was late morning. The big man slowly sat up, looking around him as he did so. He found Nadia sitting nearby, her long legs pulled up against her chest. She was staring at him, and she looked like she had been crying. A lot. "Hey," he said. "I'm ok." "You _died_ ," she sobbed! "Your heart stopped!" Finn clutched at his chest. He'd been kind of a mess, and he knew it. He'd honestly expected to find himself facing Death in the afterlife. The aches and pains he felt told him that he was very much alive. "So... uh...," he rumbled. "I injected you with some of my nano-machines. They repaired the tears in your blood vessels and shoved all the blood cells back in their proper channels," she murmured. Primly, she added, "feel free to thank me at any time." Blushing, Finn said, "thanks, Nadia. I'm kind of in your debt again."

The princess came around the fire and threw herself on him. Finn knew what she needed, and he slipped his arms around her and held her while she bawled her eyes out. He honestly didn't feel like he deserved all of this. Honestly, he felt like a failure. The Lich now had knowledge of where and how to find Baba Yaga and whatever she guarded. Nadia's ship was wrecked, and they were stranded a long, long way from home. Daubing at Nadia's tears, he said, "I'm a failure, Nadia. I'm sorry for getting you into this..." "Sorry," she howled? "For saving my life over and over?! Fuck sorry!" She grabbed his face and kissed his rough and bruised lips insistently. It would have taken a saint not to be turned on by the feel of those giant knockers against his hands as he tried to push her away or the feel of that magnificent body against his.

Blushing a little when she drew back, she glanced down at the outline of his dick down the leg of his pants and said, "I guess you weren't lieing..." Blushing a little himself, he said, "I'm a dude! Hell yeah, I think you're fucking hot. There're hundreds of dudes who'd be falling all over themselves to have you." She rolled her eyes. The same thing again. Staring him dead in the eyes, the orange-skinned cutie told him, "but I don't want a hundred other men. You're the one I want, and I accept no substitutes!" Unzipping the skintight jumpsuit down past her massive boobies to her belly button, she asked, "would you let this go to waste?"

His mouth went bone dry as she shrugged, letting those titanic tatas wobble free. They honestly put Betty's and Simone's both to shame. Big and bouncy and bountiful, they had just the right _spring_ to them. The big man couldn't help it. His hands were on them before he could even _think_ of stopping himself. A breathy sigh left her lips as he caressed those giant globes. _Well, fuck it,_ he thought. If she wanted it, he was going to give it to her. Leaning in, he slurped the right nip into his mouth, teasing the tender flesh and sending a shiver through her hot body. Meanwhile, he continued to stroke her pale orange skin. "You're the first to ever treat them nice," she moaned. Finn stopped right where he was. Nadia flushed in embarrassment as she realized what she'd just admitted.

"What does that mean," he asked? Flushing, she whispered, "most boys... They're very rough. They squeeze them and..." "Who," he demanded? His voice suggested he was going to hurt somebody. Nadia whispered, "they don't matter. Just you." Finn slipped his arms around her trim waist and pulled her to him. Catching her lips with his, he kissed his beautiful princess. Hands stroking her soft flanks, he slowly got her warmed up and in the mood. His hands seemed to be everywhere, squeezing and stroking her big, round ass, teasing the hard muscle of her flat tummy, and caressing those big boobies like they were delicate treasures.

Spinning her around, the Hero of Ooo drew her back into his arms. Softly, he whispered, "my sweet, sweet princess, I wanted you bad enough to dream about it the night you tried to lure me into your room, but I didn't want to start out with lies." Now Finn began to peel her fantastic body out of her jump suit, baring her skin to the cool air. He peeled the heavy elastic material down off her arms and all the way down to her hips, finding she was wearing a pair of skimpy thong panties.

Reaching up once more, he got his hands on those fantastic boobies, finding himself amazed at how surprisingly firm they were. The hero ran his hands all over those big, round knockers, stroking and caressing them. It was far gentler than her last boyfriend knew how to do it. He'd practically mauled Nadia's boobies hard enough to bruise them. Finn showered kisses on her throat and neck and licked her tender little ears. Soft sighs escaped her lips as she finally got what she had wanted for so long.

As his right hand slowly stroked those big knockers, Finn slipped a hand down across her flat stomach, stroking the creamy-soft flesh and making her tummy flutter. At the same time, she started grinding her ass against his crotch to feel that huge cock. Slipping his left hand under the waistband of her skimpy panties, the big man stroked her hot crack causing her to shiver and moan softly. Dipping that finger into her steamy pussy, Finn found her already a little creamy, and her breath came in hot pants as Finn teased her love-button, sliding his finger up and down her crack and rubbing the plump lips. After months of back-and-forth hinting and teasing, the thought–and _feel_ –of having her dream man making love to her brought her to the peak of pleasure fast. Her climax was abrumpt, flooding his hand with hot Nadia-juice.

She thought that would be it–that he would do her now. Indeed, he did lay her down in the moist pine-needles and leaves of the forest floor as he stripped off his shirt and his shoes. Then he got back to the job of stripping her naked, pulling boots and jumpsuit off at one go and then snatching those soggy drawers off her big ass. Easing her long legs apart, the sexpot gave him access to her intimate region as he got into position for some more action.

Finn was astonished to find that his hungry princess had _two_ joy-buttons. He'd been rubbing the one on the left without realizing it. Wondering what other surprises Nadia's body held in store for him, Finn leaned in and took an experimental sniff of her musk. She had a strangely _sweet_ odor to her. Moving on, the big man began to give that hot pussy a tongue-bath.

"Uhn, uhn. Aaaggh," wailed the tall beauty as her hips jumped, and her fingers grabbed a handful of his hair. The left button was apparently very sensitive, and he found he could drive her straight up the wall that way. Turning his attention to the right one, he began to lick and suck at it. "Oooooh," moaned the cyborg beauty as her sexy broad hips wriggled around. Her grip on his hair relaxed, and she began to play with her own boobies, stroking them and pinching the nips. While he was working her over, Finn's nose bumped her left button, and those hips surged off the bed, smacking him in the face, giving him a feel for what really drove her wild.

The one on the right was like a slow fuze. As he worked on it, his girl slowly got hotter and hotter like an explosion was building inside her. When she finally went over the edge, she screamed so loud, it hurt his ears. Over the next ten minutes, he worked her over, learning how to really make her cum hard. He found that she came the hardest when he got her hot as a fire-cracker and then gave her left button a flick just before she went over. Nadia was slack-jawed and panting hard when he finally let up on her. Unbuckling his belt and dragging his zipper down, the big man climbed up over the beautiful woman, kissing every inch of exposed skin as he went, making her shiver a little. Passing those massive knockers, he kissed first the left, then the right, making sure to make his tongue dance around the thick tips.

When they were eye to eye, he pressed the tip of his big log against her gooey snatch. At the feel of that, the orange-skinned hottie threw both arms around him and hugged him tight. Pressing her lips against the crook of his neck, she moaned long and loud as she felt him enter. "Oh... ohh...," howled the princess as he began to bang her. Thrust after thrust the big man slowly drove his pecker into her steamy oven. At the same time, he caught her lips with his. Nadia responded by wrapping those long legs around his waist, holding on as he began to go faster and faster. She should have waited! She wished she'd waited instead of wasting time on all those losers!

Finn's hips slapped into hers over and over, making a rhythmic clapping sound. Hot girl-juice dribbled from her horny snatch as he really gave it to her. It didn't take long at all before he too was ready to go off. "Do it," she wailed! "Give it to me! I want it! I want your seed!" The big man let her have it. After days of being cooped up in that hotel room, watching that wiggling ass and those giant titties wobbling around in skimpy clothes, he was more than ready. His orgasm felt like it went on for an hour before he finally relaxed. Of course, even then he wasn't quite done. Rolling over on his back, he pulled the princess down on top of him and slowly began to caress her feverish body. It was something Simone liked as much as anything that went before–and it was something that Emeraude admitted none of her guys had ever done. In spite of wanting to sleep for a month, Finn made himself hang on until she was satisfied.

Meanwhile, back in Wildberry Kingdom, Betty sat listening to Princess Ragnhild as she gave an impassioned plea to save the life of Bonnibel Bubblegum. The pink princess sat stoically listening while Betty sat fighting sleep. She and Sarah had been up all night cross-correlating the Lich's words with his journal entries. They'd made good progress, but it had come at a cost–especially when you considered that Betty was doing double-duty. As one of Ooo's rulers, she had a duty to try and deflect the mad Berry-woman from her efforts to murder the candy-monarch.

They were in a better position than they had been. Wildberry had used a procedural maneuver to essentially force Phoebe, Breakfast, and Princess Nadia to recuse themselves. Bonnie's faction had started with a substantial deficit. In the interim Finn's efforts at cashing old markers had paid dividends. The vote was close. By Betty's estimates, it was tied. Wildberry wasn't going to get her slaughter. Cherry was hoping Finn would get here and shut the whole business down. Unfortunately, he'd been last seen in Laurel Kingdom, and they hadn't had anything but the most cryptic communications from either he or the kids.

In the middle of Ragnhild's speech, Cherry suddenly rose. Signaling their chairwoman, the Mafia Princess declared, "something critical has come to my attention, madam chairwoman. May I be excused?" Wildberry waved her away. The nasty bitch was happy to see any of Bonnie's allies leave. She was always looking for ways to slip the vote through while one or more of them was out. Fortunately enough always stayed to block her efforts. In any event, the little gangster-woman wasn't gone long. She was soon back and motioning for Betty to join her.

A worried Betty slipped out of her place, quietly walking up the aisle to the entry. Joining the diminutive mobster in the hall, she shut the door and asked, "what is it?" Cherry didn't mince words, telling Betty, "Nadia's plane is missing..." Betty gasped in terror. "She radioed her folk that she was on her way here with Finn for the conference," Cherry explained. "They dropped Baba Yaga off at her home and were headed back." "Do we know...," Betty started to say. "They can only tell us where they lost her signal," Cherry replied. "I need you to go out there and see what you can find out. There's another aircraft waiting on the ground at the field outside of town. They're waiting on you."

"W-why me," stammered Betty. Her mind was already conjuring all sorts of horrific scenarios. She'd never been good with death. She was always fighting her terror of losing somebody she cared about. If Finn was dead, that would be the second man she'd lost in just months. She wasn't sure she could handle that. In soothing tones, Cherry said, "you're the wizard. You've got powers that will let you deal with what you find. I don't. My skills lie in the arena of law." Betty blushed at what the little woman was saying. She was absolutely right though. Betty hadn't been a legal beagle in her world. She knew next to nothing about the laws of Ooo. "Alright," she muttered. "I'll do this." Before she could go, Cherry reminded her, "she won't allow absentee votes. Make sure you're back here..." Betty nodded. She knew the risks. Many lives were riding on today's outcome.

With Cherry's instructions fresh in her mind, Betty headed out to catch a plane while elsewhere Star Mertens was in the middle of tracking the goons who'd rescued the Lich. Her father had been considering options for dealing with Wildberry Princess, but he was afflicted both by the law and a residual affection for her. He could easily have simply killed her out of hand, but he had great respect for the law. Star thought this latest would push him off the fence. She had a suspicion that the rotten berry was in it with Penny. She'd spent the night clinging to the underside of the prison boxcar as it thundered across the land. Now, with the train slowing down, she thought things were coming to a head.

As the heavy machine came banging and clattering to a halt, Star carefully dropped off the undercarriage, letting the prison car pass over her. Rolling off the tracks, she slipped into the undergrowth, drew her phone, and began recording. Just as had happened to her, there was a barricade ahead. As she watched, a contingent of Laurel Kingdom people came around the barricade armed to the teeth. As the young wizard watched and recorded, the mixed bag of peanuts and Berry people got out and moved to greet them.

Captain Fuchs was a little irritated when he came out to confront the men blocking his way. "What's the meaning of this," he shouted? The leader of the little group at the barricade declared, "you have something that belongs to the Thief King..." The ugly business exploded just then. To their credit the peanuts were quite ready to throw down. They leveled weapons and started blasting without hesitation. Unfortunately they were in way over their heads. As Star watched, half the attackers revealed themselves to be Dipped. Before her eyes, both officers died screaming. The troops variously fought on and died, ran like hell was chasing them, or surrendered and begged mercy. In short order, Penny's dudes were freeing the Lich, and Penny herself had come out of the woods to meet him.

"You failed," said the Lich. "Natalia's still among the living..." Frowning, Penny growled, "how do you know?" With an evil chuckle, the sick bastard said, "Suadela _saw_ her. She's on her way back. She's maybe a few days away." "The bomb," asked Penny? "It's in Yakutsk," said the Lich. "We'll need one of my countrymen's planes to get it. Start work on laying hands on a cyborg." "Master," announced one of the undead, "they are resistant..." "Resistant, not impervious, tovarisch," the Lich replied. "I converted one before. I only need a specimen..." As they passed the cowering peanut-folk, one of the undead asked, "what about these?" "Dip them," the Lich snorted.

Late that day, Finn and Nadia came trekking through the forest east of Wildberry Kingdom, slowly making their way towards the border. Finn had some vague notion of reaching one of the rail-lines that crossed the border and hitching a ride on a train. At the very least, if there were no trains passing through the area, he thought they might follow the tracks to one of the towns and get help there. They were both in pretty rough shape–battered and bruised after being sucked out of an airplane at fifteen-thousand feet and then dropped through a forest canopy. And Finn was exhausted from the months he'd been grinding away since Simone and Emeraude were taken from him.

Fighting his way along, chopping at trees to clear the forest track they were traversing, he looked like hell, leaving the princess a little worried for his well-being. "Are you sure you're alright," asked Nadia for the hundredth time? Finn barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes. He'd been an exhausted wreck _before_ she tried to fuck him to death after barely saving his life from bursting several major blood vessels in the fall. And _now_ she was worried. "Fine," he muttered. "Just wondering how much further we've got to go." In point of fact, he was actually feeling a lot better than before the crash. He wasn't sure if it was Nadia's nano-thingies or what the deal was, but he was far more rested than he thought he had a right to be. Still, just like every other girl that claimed a piece of him, Nadia was insistent on protecting what she saw as hers. "Let me look at you," she demanded.

Blowing out an exasperated breath, he stopped where he was. Relieved of the burden of pretending to be sweet and innocent, Nadia Ivanova had unleashed her very sharp tongue on him a couple of times already today. In a way, it was refreshing. Sweet, innocent Nadia was really a little too fake for him. As he stood there, she scanned those uncanny eyes of hers up and down his body. As she looked him over, he found himself looking _her_ over. If he were at all honest, he had wanted to bang the shit out of Nadia the Grid-Face Princess since he saw her the first time. She'd been an amazingly stacked thirteen then, and Finn had been barely aware of what sex even was. Now she was even more amazing.

 _Well,_ he thought, _she_ did _just make herself my girlfriend._ Reaching out, the big man gave the zipper on the front of her jumpsuit a tug. "What do you think you're doing," she asked? "Thinking about fuckin' my girl," Finn retorted. He too had danced around this business for what seemed like ages. Glancing up sharply, Nadia flushed to her orange hair. Leaning towards her, he said, "had to watch those tits and that ass go by for twenty years..." Grabbing her by that round, juicy butt, Finn dragged her into a steamy kiss. The sexpot immediately started grinding her hot snatch against him. And that was when he heard the twig break. Pushing her back, his hand drew the Finn Sword, and he immediately moved to shield her from whatever might be out there.

"Over here," shouted a voice. By the accent, it was another grid-person. "Damn," muttered Nadia as her countryman came into view. Finn was delighted. At least he was until the rest of the rescue-party arrived. He wasn't expecting Betty. She was supposed to be in Wildberry Kingdom working with Cherry to save Bonnie's life and with Sarah to save Ooo. "Hey, babe," he greeted the brunette. "What're you doing...?" Betty reached back and slapped him with all the strength she could muster, unloading on him for everything she'd ever seen or heard him do–from the jump to the platform in the Door Lord's Sanctum, the fight with the Dipped on the platform, the battle with Penny's soldiers on the island, and every other stupid/crazy thing she'd been hearing the last few days.

It was, in short, just like every day of his life with every woman he'd ever known. It was always this way. Bonnie had done it more than a few times. Even Marcy had done it to him a time or two. Phoebe _hadn't_ done it simply out of fear of setting him on fire, but she'd cussed him. Simone and E had both done it on occasions too numerous to mention. Hiding his injuries and the many scrapes he'd gotten into and out of over the years had become something of a game for him.

The slapping was the worst part of it. They never stopped to think that after whatever crazy stunt he'd pulled to save their lives or the lives of somebody else, he might, just might be in a lot of pain. That maybe slapping him around would aggravate the injuries he had. They were selfish with what they considered _theirs_ , and they got mad when he put himself at risk. So they slapped him, sometimes as hard as they could, and most of the girls he knew were no creampuffs. Then, before he could shout at them about how much that hurt, they turned on the water, which added emotional injury to the physical because, well, he was a dude. He felt bad when he made a girl cry. Betty cried all over him. She cried and cussed and shouted at him–when she wasn't punching him–for almost dieing. In the end, it was the laughter of Nadia's dudes that put an end to that scene.

Of course that didn't end the unpleasantness. He'd told Nadia about his _condition_. There were seven other women in line ahead of her–nine if Simone and E were truly still alive. She was wasting her love on a dude who couldn't give her all his attention when he had nine other ladies to keep happy. He didn't think it was fair to her. He got the stinkeye the whole way back to the place where the rescue team had left the ship. Not that Finn was at all worried about that. He was far more worried about what they'd find. Suadela could very well still be out there. Nadia's ship was wrecked eight miles away, but the undead had pointed out that she couldn't be _killed_ by the crash.

Nobody was more delighted than the big man when they walked out into the clearing to find the ship intact and Nadia's people on guard. Finn took charge, directing that they set up defenses. He wanted to check the wrecked airship to find out if Suadela had indeed survived before they headed out to reach Wildberry Kingdom. After a rather unpleasant dinner spent with Betty alternating between fussing over him and shouting, Finn turned in with his prickly mother-in-law/girlfriend, wondering how he was going to break the news to everybody about the addition as well as about Simone and E being alive. His crazy life was about to get much crazier, and he wasn't sure he could handle the strain.

Betty was finally asleep when Finn heard the door to their room open. She'd spent a lot of the evening keyed up. In the end, he'd ended up screwing the shit out of her to get her calmed down enough that she could sleep at last. Finn himself had much more trouble getting to sleep. If it wasn't the fact that Simon thought Simone and Emeraude were alive, it was the fact that they were almost at the final showdown with the Lich. And on top of that, he was in girl-trouble. Again. Still. He'd been trying. It was crazy any way you looked at it. He'd been trying to somehow be faithful to six girls as if that even made sense. Finn said not a word when he felt Nadia slip into bed behind him. Pulling the covers up over her, she snuggled up to him wearing just her panties. Rolling over on his back, Finn slipped an arm around her and pulled her to him. It was what it was. Why argue?

Morning brought little more clarity. Betty said not a word about the third body in bed with them, and Finn did his best not to upset the applecart. The trek to the crash-site ended in happy/unhappy disappointment. There was absolutely no sign of Suadela. Search as they might, there was nothing to see and no way to tell if the undead had been destroyed in the crash or not. With no better options and feeling a little queasy about carrying one of the Lich's minions to Baba Yaga's place, Finn shepherded the lot of them back to the other ship, and they got out of there, bound for Wildberry's capitol. It was time and past time to get her shut down as well.

Business was already underway when they landed. Lollipop was waiting on them when they left the plane, looking beautiful as much because of the baby-bump in her middle as anything else. Heedless of the two women he'd arrived with, Finn rushed up, snatched her off her feet, and hugged her. He was delighted to see her. Sniffing back tears, she said, "c'mon, honey, or we'll be late." The four of them piled into Cherry's limousine, and the driver tore out of there. As they drove, Lollipop filled Finn in on what had been going on.

Roused to defend herself at last, Bonnie had been mounting a spirited defense. She'd pointed out all the problems and fallacies in Wildberry's charges against her, and she'd scored some major points. Everyone there could now begin to see that this really wasn't a bunch of jumped-up bandits trying to extort the Royals for cash. One by one, Bonnie's picked witnesses told of how desperate things had gotten on the isle, with constant attacks and constant attempts to free the Lich by Penny's soldiers. Cherry had jumped in with detailed reports of Penny's efforts to build an army north of Purple Kingdom and then again with her efforts to steal the ransom before it could be delivered.

Many of the gathered Royals had gotten the vapors upon realizing just how close they had collectively come to the Lich going free once more, and Peanut Princess had earned an official censure of her own since it was her husband's incompetence that had let things get to the point where Bonnie had been forced to use technology to save them all. In essence, the pink princess had somewhat turned the argument around, pointing up the failings in Wildberry's faction that had forced her to act, suggesting that there wouldn't have been a need for any of it if Wildberry wasn't playing her games.

"How's Phoebes," Finn asked? "She's ok, Finn," Lollipop sighed, "but she's in that fucking containment thing twenty-four hours a day now. The closer she gets, the more trouble she has with her stability, and fucking Wildberry won't let Bonnie go look in on her." And of course Phoebe looked like she was ready to _pop_. "Is Marshall here," Finn asked? "Yes and no," muttered Lollipop. At Finn's frown, the tall girl said, "he's in hiding, Finn. He's... He's got some sort of issue with Engagement Ring Princess, and he's ducking her." "Great," muttered Finn. They didn't really have the time for this.

Arriving at the Council Chambers, they found the Berry Guard out in force, and Finn had an abiding fear that Wildberry might not accept the vote if it didn't go her way. _Then you have the right to do what you have to do,_ he thought. His girls were coming home with him today. All of them. Betty and Nadia presented their credentials to get in, and Finn made it clear that if the Berry Guard didn't want him following, they could like it or lump it. Wisely they chose to stand aside. Arriving in the Council Chamber, Finn took a place in the observation gallery at the back, while his lovelies went to their seats.

Wildberry's expression turned rather sour at the sight of them. Finn and his allies had done a rather good job of peeling away her support. She had the hard core of her supporters at her side along with a second tier who hoped to gain from all the disruption, but a lot of the princesses had either turned away entirely or become studiously neutral. He thought many would abstain. He hoped for that. He could really only count on a handful. With Nadia, Breakfast, and Phoebe not even allowed to vote on this one, they were in a bind.

"Well," muttered Wildberry, "since we're all here..." Before she could finish the thought, a voice announced, "wait! I have something to say!" Finn glanced over to the entry to find his oldest daughter there with Cherry at her side. The little woman was sporting a natty maternity dress. Face unreadable, she came down the aisle with Fionna at her side. "This is irregular," howled Peanut Princess. Finn grimaced. There was no love lost between his daughter and the nut-squad. "Very," agreed Wildberry. "I thought we should hear from two more witnesses to this council's malfeasance," declared the Mafia Princess. Wildberry bristled, but she couldn't deny Cherry the right to speak or bring in a witness.

As Finn watched, his little girl stepped into the witness booth and got sworn in. Then, with the entire council looking on, she dropped a bombshell. "Penny's guys freed the Lich," said she. "One of her guy's snuck into the forcefield room and blew up the machinery. He's loose." Gasps of fright greeted that news. Peanut Princess shot to her feet, demanding to know how this was possible when the Council had appointed a general to oversea the facility. "The Council's appointed general screwed the pooch," retorted Fionna. A shouting match erupted, and Wildberry very nearly lost control of the meeting right there.

Cherry whistled for quiet. Admonishing the witness to stay on topic, she said, "please continue Acting Captain Fionna." "He scattered the troops and left the forcefield machines unguarded," said Fionna. "He wouldn't let us take down the houses the bandits were using to hide from us. He stopped me from having guys on patrol." As Finn watched, his lovely daughter went down the entire list of the Duke of Nuts' _issues_. He was never more proud of her than when she calmly and patiently explained all that had gone wrong. When she told of the disastrous battle that freed the Lich and how she'd gotten as many lives off the island as she could, his heart swelled near to bursting.

It was sobering news for everyone else though, Bonnie included. She'd thought they had things all wrapped up, but they'd reckoned without Wildberry's willful and reckless insistence on taking over. She'd taken over the business and driven it into the ditch. They were screwed. It was a certainty the Lich wouldn't be so complacent as to let them go back to the island and rebuild their Lich-trap. As the tall princess looked on, her enemy got control of things again by main force. "That's all very interesting, but I'd like to hear that from somebody else," said she. "Right now, it's hearsay. Now. Who was this second witness?" Turning to her hubby, Cherry said, "Captain Finn? Would you come down?"

Rising, Finn shouldered his pack and headed down to the floor. Once there, he swore to tell the truth just as his daughter had. In spite of wanting to hug Fi–in spite of wanting to tell her about Simone and E, Finn let her go back into the audience. This wasn't the time or the place. "Alright," said Cherry. "Can you tell us what you witnessed in Laurel Kingdom?" Nodding, Finn turned to the assembled princesses and told them all about Alexia and the goings on in Laurel Kingdom. "Lies," shouted the Laurel Princess! "It's all lies!" "Right," muttered Finn. "Hey, Cherry pop? Can you get me a bowl please?" Flushing, the little beauty rushed over to the refreshments along the wall. Emptying a bowl of jerky-treats onto the table, she rushed back to her hubby's side.

As Wildberry raged at the both of them, Finn went into his backpack, drew out a bottle of water, and filled the bowl. Before the astonished eyes of the gathered Royals, the water fountained up as though alive, coalescing into the shape of a beautiful woman. "Greetings," murmured Baba Yaga. "I've been asked to appear before you to cast a vote..." Interrupting her, Finn said, "they want to hear about what happened in Alex's palace..." "Oh," said Baba Yaga. Turning to the pudgy princess on the dais, she said, "your kids are dead. The gangster turned them into undead at the Lich's behest. I'm afraid we had to destroy the boy... The girl escaped into the sewers... I think you can quit working for them now."

Alexia burst into tears. "Nooo," howled the horrified mother. Softly, Finn said, "I'm sorry, Alex. She had no intention of giving them back. One of her dudes told Thor that she killed the both of them before she even reached out to you..." " _Finn_ ," howled Alexia! "Glob, please! Please tell me that's not true!" "I'm sorry, Alex," said Finn. "I... Suadela's completely lost. She tried to kill me and Nadia on our way here." "Yes," muttered Baba Yaga. "We're going to speak about that..." Finn said, "but not today, Your Highness. You can scream at me later." Turning to Wildberry, Finn said, "Cherry got a call from my son. Alexia convinced you to send your troops to take the Lich's other body, didn't she?" Wildberry blushed furiously.

"He's free now," muttered Finn. "Completely free. You've basically undone everything we did to cage him, and now the world's more in danger than it was before. Please, WP. Step aside. Drop the charges against Bonnie. This isn't helping us." The little Royal stared at him a moment, and his eyes pleaded with her. Still the sour bitch doubled down. "A crime has been committed," muttered Wildberry! "I don't care _what_ mistakes were made. That doesn't justify what she did. She brought evil back into the world, and she has to pay for it." "Fine," muttered Finn. "Let's have the vote..." Rising, he scanned the audience and said, "anybody here want to waste time fighting each other? Or do we want to fight the real enemy before he kills everyone on the planet?" Peanut Princess opened her mouth. Finn shut it for her, saying, "you want a fight? Raise your hand. We'll have that fight right here. Right now."

Turning to Baba Yaga, Finn said, "thank-you, Your Highness. I think we've got this. I'll be in touch." The big man took Cherry by the hand and headed up the aisle. Stopping at Bonnie's place, he pulled Peebles out of her seat and gave her a scorcher of a kiss. As a few dozen jealous faces watched, the big man walked up the aisle and out the door with Nadia and Betty in hot pursuit. Fionna gave Peanut Princess a dirty look, dragged on her coat, and headed out to follow. Catching up to her dad, she glanced down at Cherry and said, "so it's cute names now, huh?" Finn and Cherry both blushed. "So what we namin' the new one," Fionna asked? "Haven't had time to talk about it," Cherry retorted.

Outside, they ran straight into Dr. Princess, who'd arrived from the Candy Kingdom to look in on all four pregnant women. "Finn," she greeted him. "Dr. P," Finn replied. The pretty doctor got in his way, saying, "I understand there's been a plane crash..." Finn glanced back. Betty blushed and gave him a sheepish grin. Turning back to the good doctor, Finn said, "no time, Dr. P. I got some stuff I gotta' get done." "That's not acceptable," growled Drew Princess. Cupping her face in his hand, he said, "if I had the time... Right now the world is in danger of burning to the ground." Flushing, she stepped out of his way. "Later, Drew," he said. "I'll stop by." "You better," she muttered. "Or it'll be your ass."

Betty was astonished at the way he'd handled that. The whole thing was far beyond the character of a man she'd thought of as little more than a thug. As they headed out of the palace, Finn said, "fill me in, Bets... What've you got?" "His name," said Betty, "is Yuri. It's buried all through his writings. Andrei was fighting with a man named Yuri. Near as we can tell, Andrei worked at some secret government facility. Yuri was..." "A trespasser," muttered Fionna. "Figures." Nodding, Betty said, "Yuri appears to have come to the facility to cause some kind of trouble, and Andrei caught him. There was an accident, and both men were caught in it. Somehow, Yuri ended up cohabiting Andrei's body..."

The mad little family emerged onto the stairs. Standing out in the cool air, Finn said, "let's get somewhere we can talk through this. Nadia? Gonna' need one of your forcefield machines. Peebles? Can you go down and look in on Phoebes? She's in a bad way." "I know, Finn," said Bonnie. Stopping there on the stairs, the bubblegum princess grabbed Finn's face and kissed him thoroughly. "See you in a bit, honey," she said.

Betty knew the perfect place for their discussion. When the pack of them had piled into Cherry's limo, the driver took them across town to the space she and Sarah were renting for their work. Dropping them there, he headed back across town to retrieve Bonnie. In the mean time, the gathering got down to business. Cherry got the door shut. Then, with Betty and Sarah working in collaboration, Nadia got a forcefield erected around the room. Once that was done, Sarah said, "it's secure as it's going to get, Finn. I'm still not entirely sure how she does it, but we've done all we can to screen her out..." At Cherry's questioning look, the android girl said, "Baba Yaga. She... Somehow she can watch Finn from afar. She can see and even hear a little of what's going on around him."

Nadia and Betty stared at the big man. "I told you," he said. "I don't trust her any farther than I can toss her. The Lich knows her. Simon confirmed it for me." "She may have worked with him in the past," Nadia murmured. "She's been no friend of my people." Finn nodded. Just so. Betty gobbled, "Simon appeared to you?" "We'll talk about it later," Finn told her. Turning to his two brainiacs, the big man asked, "what can you tell me?" Sarah glanced to Betty, who nodded. Clearing her throat, the pretty android-girl began to speak. She began to speak in Russian, and Finn found himself thinking he was hearing the Lich in his native tongue. Betty put a babelfish spell on first Fionna and then Cherry, who almost immediately grabbed Finn's hand hard enough to hurt.

Sarah had a lot to 'say'. She had literal _hours_ of recordings that the Lich had made as he was slowly undergoing his transformation. There was a key theme though–one repeated over and over again. He wanted the weapon. He'd been sent to destroy it only to find that it had been moved. It was at the 'other facility'. His 'job' as he saw it was only half finished. He'd destroyed all the life in the first facility. Now he had to finish the job.

"Five'll get you ten our mystery woman calls the 'other facility' home," muttered Cherry. "But what's the weapon," Nadia asked? "It has to be something terrible if he wants it so badly. Likely it's something that would shake the world and kill millions." Finn nodded. He had a bad feeling that it was very much worse than that. Still, Sarah and Betty had more to tell him. "He spoke of having been transformed, Finn," said Betty. "His Lady of the River had given him the power to transcend death itself." Finn's hands clenched into fists as he listened. Yuri was talking about a Rusalka. Finn was sure of it.

Frowning, Nadia said, "but magic only seems to have come about _after_ the bombs fell..." Cherry retorted, "you said it yourself, Nadia. The folklore behind our little friend predates the war–by _centuries_. Dollars to donuts, she's older than we thought." Nodding, Finn said, "Simon's crown even predated the human race. It's... It's _old_. Bazillions of years old." And he was starting to wonder if the Rusalka wasn't that old herself.

In the midst of the discussion, knocking at the door announced a late arrival. As Finn went to answer the door, Nadia took down the forcefield. A burst of applause rang out as Bonnie strode into the room with Marceline at her back. The pink princess blushed to her long, sticky hair as her strange _family_ gave her a standing ovation. In a strange way, it was fitting. With Simone and Emeraude gone, she was kind of the family matriarch. She'd been hesitant to push that, but there it was. Now, with so much going on and the whole world now on the line like never before, it was important that she start behaving like a leader. Striding into the circle of her family, the tall princess said, "first I want to thank you all for your faith in me and your efforts to save my life." Smile for Finn and she added, "especially you, Finn. I... I guess sometimes logic has its limits."

Moving on, she said, "we don't have a lot of time. We need to put everything we know together to see if we can defeat Yuri or Andrei or whatever his name is. We need to figure out what Penny and Yuri's next move will be, and we need to counter that. After, we need to figure out how to bottle the Lich's vessels up and stuff them through the portal to the Night-O-Sphere..." Frowning, Nadia asked, "w-what does that do?" "It means I can deal with him," Marceline announced. "Right now, he's in the mortal realm. That means I can't touch him. Not without violating a whole lot of covenants. If you guys can put his soul in my hands... Well... He won't be body-jumping out of the Night-O-Sphere. I've got a special place all lined up for Mr. Yuri."

Fionna opined, "you better figure out what to do about his ice, too. He was going crazy when we left the island." Nodding, Bonnie said, "P-Bot and I will work on that. I still have the heat-ray satellite in orbit. I'll dial into it with P-Bot's modem and see what I can see. In the now, can you tell me how things stand with the control console?" With a sigh, the pretty blonde said, "he froze it in with Nutjob. It's under a ton of ice right now." Bonnie sighed. Their best weapons were taken out of the fight. Likely it would be a bit of a trial just getting to the island. He'd almost certainly ring it with ice to keep his enemies at bay. "Take your time," said Finn. " _Think_ , Peebles. That's what you, Peebs, Nadia, and Betty should do. We won't win this in one night." The entire pack of women goggled at him.

"What," burbled Finn? "Are you feeling ok," asked Lollipop? "Yeah, Weenie," said Marceline. "You sound like you hit your head or something." "He hit just about everything going down the side of the tree," blurted Nadia. When the pack of them were staring at her, she shrugged and said, "he got kind of beat up..." "I'm ok," Finn said. "Let's have Dr. Princess be the judge of that," said Bonnie. "Scoot." And every face there seemed to suggest that he would get a thrashing if he didn't do just that. Counting to ten in irritation, Finn turned and got on his way. When he'd gone, Bonnie took charge, saying, "Fionna? Betty? I need you to go and find Dr. Wolf in Wizard City. He helped us deal with that alien body-snatcher that took over Finn's body. Cherry? You're now my representative with the Privy Council. Keep them on-topic. Smash anybody who gets ideas. And get Alexia and Maudie locked up. I think they're both compromised."

Turning to Lollipop, Bonnie said, "as soon as Patrick and Star are here, I need them on the road again, looking for the train that took the Lich's other half. I want to lock down where all of him is. We'll likely get one good shot at this." Tasks got assigned and divvied up, then the pack of them headed out. Bonnie turned to her wayward creation and said, "let's begin. Download everything you've learned about our foe."


	52. Chapter 52

Chapter 52:

"I want to see my babies," growled the angry princess. Penny the Thief King almost howled laughter. "You think you're in a position to demand," growled the evil woman. "You'll tell me everything, or you and your precious children will die. Right here. Right now." Rolling his eyes, the Lich interrupted, "let her..." His partner liked to posture and threaten. Really, he could understand how she'd come to such a bad end. If it wasn't for his own place in the world, he honestly might have felt sorry for her. She'd taken everything she'd had–beauty, brains, and will–and thrown them away. It was all that he despised in the disgusting, devolved offspring of his race. He was truly doing them a favor by liquidating them all.

"Alright," growled the evil woman. "I'll let you see your daughter. As a courtesy." Princess Alexia grimaced. It was just as Finn had said. Nick was dead–his body, or what was left of it, destroyed. She couldn't let on that she knew. She was well in over her head with no real idea where she was, other than in the wastelands between Grid Face Kingdom and Wildberry Kingdom. One slip, and she was a dead woman. At the same time, she owed... the world. She owed all of Ooo for letting her pride and her mother's fear get in the way of doing the right thing. She should never have climbed into bed with these creatures, no matter what they threatened. Someone mad enough to serve the Lich willingly would never have returned her children.

Minutes later, Suadela–or something wearing her face–strode in, dressed in the soft silken finery that she'd been wearing when she disappeared. She looked exactly as Alexia knew her–pale blue-violet skin, haunting dark eyes, and a perpetual smirk of humor playing about her lips. That smirk looked sinister now as she strode up. "Mother," she greeted Alexia. "Suadela," murmured the distraught mom. "Are you...?" "They're treating me ok momma," the undead lied. "Don't... don't anger them, momma. You wouldn't like it." "Alright, baby," she said, as she reached out to her child. Suadela stepped back, saying, "I... When we're back home, momma."

Alexia felt the tears rolling down her face as the undead turned and walked away in company of her 'guard'. It was true. Her daughter, who'd always been an affectionate girl, wouldn't have turned down a chance for a hug for anything. Unless that hug would have simply dissolved the recipient and ruined their plans. As Suadela left them, Penny demanded, "alright. What have you to tell me?" Squaring up, Alexia turned to face them, cleared her throat, and began to lie. She began to lie as though her life depended on it–which it did.

After delivering the performance of a lifetime, Alexia Galitsis walked out of the makeshift office/headquarters of her children's murderer and into the darkness. She was reasonably certain they believed her. Likely Suadela would have been happy to embrace her if they didn't. Walking through the chill night air, she reflected on her life and honestly found herself wondering if it wouldn't have been better if they caught her. As she thought about the release of death, the glimmer of steel announced she wasn't alone. In the blink of an eye, she was pressed against a tree, with eight inches of razor sharp steel against her neck.

"What the fuck are _you_ doing here," Star demanded? "Lieing," Alexia replied. The wizard frowned at her, but the little princess merely explained, "your father needs them to believe that the Council is at war with itself..." Glancing down, the princess added, "and I needed to see if any of my daughter remained..." Glancing away, Star said, "she supervises..." Alexia glanced in the direction the wood nymph was staring. She'd heard the screams on her way in, and now she went very pale thinking about the meaning of that. Stepping back, Star said, "get out of here. They're preparing to make their move." As she watched, the little princess went her way–headed back to the siding where her private train was waiting. Star moved on. They would be leaving soon to execute the next stage of their plan.

Back in the Lich's sanctum, Suadela was figuratively on the carpet before her master. "She was lieing through her teeth," the undead declared. "You daren't believe any of it. Likely she's been caught out..." Frowning, Penny snarled, "we should go after her!" The Lich held up a hand to stop her. Turning to his slave, he asked, "why? What does he gain?" Suadela answered, "he's more clever than you give him credit for, master. Likely she's sent to spy in exchange for her skin. He's likely trying to lock down where you are for a raid..." The bad Penny howled laughter. They would only be here a few more days!

Elsewhere, the big man himself was having a bit of a confrontation with his erstwhile ally. He had spent quite a while digging through Betty and Sarah's notes. Now he had an idea how the world had gotten on this road. Unfortunately his suspicions suggested his ally was up to her neck in it. They'd flown a fair chunk of the night–ostensibly to talk and discuss Suadela's surprise revelation. Now they were facing the Rusalka on her home ground–a very dangerous prospect.

Sitting on a chunk of stone due to her swollen middle, Bonnibel Bubblegum announced, "thank you for your assistance, Baba Yaga. It's been most timely." The prickly witch snorted. Her eyes were on Finn for some reason. "I'm beginning to wonder if it was worth it," she muttered, "Andreivich is free once more, and now has some idea where my sanctum is located..." Finn replied, "we're working it. Don't worry..." Glaring at him, Baba Yaga cussed him to hell and back in Russian. Then, in an icy tone of voice, she declared, "mankind will pay a heavy price if Andreivich takes what I protect..." No sooner had she said those words than Betty blurted, "now I remember where I've seen your face!"

Voice showing a strange admixture of shock and wonderment, the older woman declared, "you're Natalia Orlova, the Russian supermodel and actress. I was one of your biggest fans." Finn's face snapped to Betty's and then back to their host as, nodding to herself, Betty said, "I remember now. The voice and the face... but I remember the words most of all. That was exactly what you said at the last speech I heard you give. 'Mankind will pay a price for the way it treats nature...'" Finn frowned at his frenemy. A lot of things were making sense now. "It was you, wasn't it," Finn rumbled.

The nature-spirit turned away. Nodding, he said, "you fucked up when you showed up in Laurel Kingdom. I wouldn't have been able to figure it out until he recognized you in the dungeon. He called you by name. That's the reason why he came back here. He was returning to the person who gave him his orders. You were the person who started the mushroom war." Every face there save one was staring at him. Calmly, Finn said, "it was there in Yuri's notes, Natalia. The Lady of the River helped him." Flushing, she snarled, "you don't know anything about it!" Betty sighed, "I do..."

Turning to face her boyfriend, the older woman said, "right before Simon had his accident with the Ice Crown, there was a big dustup on the television. Nadia's ancestors had developed a way to make a new kind of reactor, and they were crowing about it in the news. My people... were accusing them of developing bombs and insisting on inspecting the site. There were all kinds of rumors on the internet that the Russians got the tech from aliens." "They did," muttered Baba Yaga. "They didn't know what they were playing with..." "Talia," sighed Betty. "What did you do?"

The witch shot to her feet. Muttering curses, she gestured, causing vines to come tearing out of the ground. The vines immediately grabbed Finn and his entire entourage, hoisting them aloft. The unspoken threat was clear. She would have killed them rather than tell them the truth. Finn didn't so much as lift a finger to stop her from doing just that. "You can kill me," muttered the hero. "You can kill everybody here, Baba Yaga, but it doesn't change the fact that _you_ destroyed the world. You're responsible for everything that happened." The proud creature burst into tears and the vines suddenly released them.

Dusting himself off, Finn went to the sobbing woman. Taking her by the shoulders, he said, "tell me..." Wiping at her tears, the proud woman said, "I wanted to protect my homeland. I... wanted to save the planet. They were messing with things they didn't understand..." She'd used all her connections from her life as a model and actress to convince the government not to pursue the course of action it was taking. "And Yuri," Finn asked? "He was supposed to go and get pictures," muttered the witch. "We were going to publish them... let the world see what the government was doing. There was... an accident." Betty chimed in, saying, "there was a massive explosion at a site in Siberia. The Russians blamed the West... blamed my people, Finn. They demanded restitution. That was the last thing I remember seeing before Simon's accident. I jumped through the portal..." "...and the Mushroom War happened," sighed Bonnie.

Finn thought that it hardly mattered now. Moving on, he said, "I need the weapon, Natalia. It's the only chance we have to prevent him from finishing the job." "Fine," she muttered, dashing away the tears. She led the way into the deepest part of her forest, taking them up and over tree-covered hills. Looking around her, Betty began to realize that they weren't in a normal forest. What she'd taken for just the wild growth of a forgotten wasteland was actually something much different. Camouflaged under the trees and lichen were buildings. This was another facility!

Just as she came to that realization, the beautiful old/young woman led them into what looked, at first, like a cave. When the witch whispered a word of command, causing a light-globe to flare to life, they found themselves in a vast, almost cavernous structure. And there, in the center, was a massive steel cylinder. "There," she muttered. "That's it." Bonnie rushed forward, and she immediately began examining the strange machine. Poking and prodding the wires that jutted out of it, she fired questions at the witch.

"I don't know anything about it," muttered the angry witch. "I never wanted to know. I only knew that Yuri would use it to end the world if he could just find a way. Scanning the mushroom bomb, Bonnie said, "it's not like any of the information I have, Finn. It's... different than the fission and fusion devices I'm familiar with." Snapping her fingers at Sarah, she said, "need your scanners, P-Bot." Muttering curses under her breath at being ordered about like a toy, the android hottie nevertheless did just as commanded. "It's antimatter," said Sarah. "The reason your readings are off is because the bomb contains a series of antimatter pits at its core. Each of them is the equivalent of a gigaton bomb. Together..." "They'd crack the crust just like the bomb that created the Fire Kingdom," muttered an awestruck Nadia. Baba Yaga shrugged. The people of the steppes had never been known to play around. "This is what the aliens gave them," sighed Bonnie. "The roots of their own destruction. Then they used you to ignite the spark." The witch blushed to her hair. She didn't like the reminder.

Shaking her head, Bonnie said, "I'm not sure how this can be used, Finn..." The bomb was much too big for what they needed. "There's a way," said Sarah. At Bonnie's frown, the android said, "Nadia's people got their forcefield tech from the containment technology that built this bomb, Your Highness. More to the point, we don't need the whole thing. We just need a little bit of it. I think with Nadia's tech, we can siphon a little bit off and repackage it into a charge of our own." Grinning at Finn, she added, "a little bit of antimatter goes a long way." Bonnie saw now. "What about the rest," muttered Baba Yaga? With a sigh, Bonnie said, "I'm afraid we all have our cross to bear from the consequences of the war, Your Highness." Meaning she would be guarding this terrible _thing_ for eternity.

Finn said, "but we can make it easier on you." "I'm all ears," muttered the witch. Finn shrugged, "you gave me the ability to speak and even think in Russian..." Nodding, Bonnie said, "I can erase P-Bot's memories of this place. Baba Yaga can erase our memories the same way she gave you the memories needed to speak Russian. That's good, Finn." It was clear from looking at her that the ancient witch had been hoping to be done with this. Finn knew what it was like to be tired. "I'm sorry," he said. "I made this bed," the witch muttered. She'd made it the day she left her river to explore the world of Men.

Bargain struck, the crew got to work. Nadia rushed back to the ship for needed parts while Bonnie and Sarah got to grips with the massive bomb. Baba Yaga wandered in and out, looking distressed until a concerned Finn took her by the arm and steered her outside. "What do you think you're doing," she growled? "Taking care of a friend," he retorted. The witch snorted. Chuckling, Finn said, "I gave Yuri the means to wish the world away..." As a shocked Baba Yaga stared at him, Finn told her the entire sordid story–the Lich tricking him into handing over the Enchiridion, then murdering Billy and replacing him. He told of helping the Lich steal all the Mind Stones from every Princess on Ooo.

"My buddy, Simon, used to say the path to the Night-O-Sphere's paved with good intentions," said Finn. "He always thought twice about doing things, even when he meant no harm. Sometimes he'd decide it was better to do nothing at all. I went him one better. I still carry my good intentions, even if I have screwed up enough to wreck the world a few times over. I've messed up a lot, and there are days I'm ashamed of things I did, even when I thought I was right. But I get up every morning and try again, just like you've gotten up every morning." Taking her hand, he gave it a squeeze and said, "the world's more fragile than ever. Ooo still needs protecting. You have a second chance to save the world from the mistakes people have made." Even if it cost her eternity.

The work went most of the night. As the sun rose in the east, the team stumbled in exhaustion out of the forest. Standing on the planes, Finn looked his family over, turned to Baba Yaga, and said, "ok. How do we do this?" "I don't know," muttered the witch. "You're easy. You're dumb as a box of rocks..." Nodding at Nadia, she said, "that one has computer chips embedded in her skull. Even if I touch her thoughts, I can't say for certain." "Then P-Bot will do that piece of things," said Bonnie. Finn frowned at his girlfriend. Blushing, Bonnie said, "I... I learned my lesson, Finn. Some things are too dangerous to fuck with. Not right now." Turning to Nadia, she told her friend, "P-Bot can connect to your internal data storage. Do you agree?" "Do I have a choice," the cyborg hottie muttered?

In short order, with Bonnie and her android double working on the problem, Nadia was seated on a rock with Sarah sitting beside her. The pink princess plugged the data-cord into Nadia's neck and the port under Sarah's ear, earning a shiver of distaste from the nature spirit. "Accessing," burbled Sarah. Nadia grimaced, and Finn wondered if there was any pain involved. Spinning to face Bonnie, the orange-skinned beauty goggled at her. "Oops," said Sarah with a blush. "Didn't intend two-way comms. Let me shut that down." Bonnie herself blushed as she suddenly remembered just how much of her memories were embedded in P-Bot. "Done," said Sarah. "That wasn't bad, was it?" Nadia grimaced in distaste. Baba Yaga stepped in, though, touched her forehead, and sent her crashing into sleep.

Catching the busty-beauty before she fell, Finn picked her up and hauled her into the ship, laying her out on a bench in the cargo bay. Betty sighed and said, "me next. Talia... I'd... Some day I'd like to talk... about the world we left. When you're ready." The witch muttered something unpleasant in Russian. Reaching out, she put a hand to Betty's forehead. Nothing happened, and Betty asked, "was I supposed to feel something?" "I wanted loverboy to get a little closer so you didn't split your head open," the witch rumbled. Blushing, Finn rushed forward and slipped his arms around Betty. Blushing and grinning, the tall beauty said, "alright, Talia. Hit me." Finn caught his girlfriend/mom-in-law, hefted her, and hauled her into the ship, laying her down beside Nadia.

With a sigh, Sarah said, "I guess I'm next." Finn rushed forward. "I don't have to put her to sleep, silly," chuckled Bonnie. Plugging a portable computer into the port behind Sarah's ear and opening a shell, the pink princess did a quick search. "There we go," she said. "All done. You should find you now have the algorithm for flying an airplane. Why don't you go and get the ship preflighted?" Smiling at Finn and thanking Baba Yaga for her hospitality, the android girl headed for the ship. Bonnie went next. Draping herself all over Finn, she gave him a scorching kiss and said, "been wanting to do that, and this is the only privacy we've had in a while..." Rolling her eyes, the witch asked, "how is it you're not dead?" Finn shrugged. Touching the bubblegum-woman's forehead, the witch whispered a word of power. Bonnie frowned up at her. She'd expected to go to sleep.

Probing at her memory, she found... a block of some kind. She could sense the dangerous memories were still there, but she couldn't have told what they were about. "Go," said Baba Yaga. "We will speak on this another time." Finn frowned at her. And then it hit him. She didn't _have_ to be alone. "See you around," he said, as he turned and walked towards the ship.

With Finn and Bonnie aboard, Sarah got the airship moving, launching them into the early morning sky. Racing the sun, they headed west with Finn spending a little quality time with Bonnie and their baby talking names. "Why Roseline," asked Bonnie? Frowning, Finn asked, "is that a bad name?" Bonnie tittered laughter. He was such a dufus. Kissing his cheek, she said, "no, silly. It's really pretty. I like it, but I'm curious where you got it." He'd just blurted it out. Frowning, he admitted, "I dunno, Peebles. It's... it's just something I've had in my head for half of forever." "Well," chuckled Bonnie, "it's a _lovely_ name. Now, if you'll exuse us, Roseline and I are gonna' take a nap..." Bonnie rose and went into one of the little cabins to rest. When they'd gone, Finn checked up on Betty and Nadia before going up to the cockpit to see Sarah.

The sexdroid wistfully opined, "it _is_ a pretty name, Finn. You should be proud of that. All your daughters have nice names." Finn sensed something was bothering her. Taking her hand, he asked, "what's wrong, Peebs?" With a heavy sigh, she said, "I've been thinking of striking out on my own..." She had the skills, and she was tired of being bossed around. Frowning, the big man asked, "why don't you? I mean what's stopping you?" With an unhappy sigh, the android said, "I'm afraid she'll want to punish me. If I go, it'll mean I won't see you for a while." Taking her hand, Finn brought her fingers to his lips and kissed them. "Sarah," he said, "you spent years being miserable. I... want you to be happy for once..." Frowning pensively she said, "it won't be for a while, Finn. You both need me for a little while longer."

Hours later, Finn got to see just how true that was. Bonnie wanted the Privy Council–and their one prisoner–moved back to the Candy Kingdom where she would have her lab and tech. Sarah was in the thick of things, helping to get Phoebe moved, getting Peanut Princess locked in a quality wagon for transport, and coordinating things with Nadia's peeps. Within a day of their return, Finn found himself back in Bonnie's capitol, greeting Patrick and the remnant of the army he and Fionna had led. That led into getting that army–or a piece of it–ready to head back to the island for one last round with bone face.

They were a strangely eclectic bunch. Burly he-men and women from Muscle Kingdom rubbing elbows with Thor's kin from Warrior Kingdom alongside slender Yogurt-Folk from Froyo Kingdom sprinkled with the toughest of Finn's Banana-Guards. They were all loyal to Fionna–the mastermind who'd gotten them through hell on the frozen island of the Fluffy People. Standing in the courtyard of the old prison, Finn was proud of them all and proud of his kids too. He was a little worried about Star. The knowledge that she'd slipped off to follow the Lich had him terrified. He'd sent help her way, but he had no idea what was going on there. They'd told his spy little or nothing. Now, he had to work with a blindfold on–preparing to engage one part of Yuri's mind with no idea how things were going with the other half.

"Dad," said Billy, "weren't you supposed to go and see the doctor?" "Like an hour ago," Patrick added. Finn blushed. He'd been waiting for Fi to show up. "You'll probably bump into her," Patrick remarked. "She wasn't feeling well, and I told her she had to go. Now I'm telling you. Scram. Bill and I got this." It was the second time in under a week. Muttering curses, Finn got on his way. As his car rolled out of the gates, Bill turned to his brother-in-law/step-brother and asked, "what gives? What's going on with Fi?" Blushing to his hair, Patrick admitted, "I think she's preggers..." The older man's jaw dropped. Then, blushing a little, he started howling laughter. Slapping his brother on the back, he said, "congrats, man. I guess I'm an uncle..."

Finn had been ducking Dr. Princess almost since his wives kicked him out of their little meeting. He'd intended to go, but one thing after another cropped up. He'd gotten side-tracked talking to Alexia. That had led to him putting together her mission to spy on the Lich and deliver his surprise. In the end, he'd skipped out on going to see her at all. Now he was going to be paying the piper, and he dreaded what she was going to do to him now. Part of him would have taken his time getting to her office–like all flippin' day. He had so much to do–and he really wanted to see Van and spend time with him–that wasn't really an option. Driving lights-and-siren the whole way, he made the trip in record time.

He found his daughter coming out the door, looking a little disturbed. Stepping out of his car, the big man intercepted Fionna the Human Girl, swept her up in a bear hug, and kissed both her cheeks. Blushing to her hair, she burbled, "dad?" Then a stronger, "daddy! Put me down!" Grinning sheepishly, Finn set her back on her feet. "You ok," he asked? "Yeah," she mumbled. "Fine, daddy. I... I'm'a go to work. See you later." She scooted out of there before he could say a word. Puzzled, Finn nonetheless headed in to face the music.

Dr. P was just finishing up with the nurse when she spotted him. Her glare of anger caused him to flinch. Motioning for him to head into the back, Drew Princess told the nurse, "cancel my next two appointments..." The big man slunk across the room in fear and followed the beautiful doctor into the back room. Dr. P's posture was off as she moved around the examination room, suggesting she was upset about something, and Finn flinched whenever she looked his way. "I'm not going to hit you," she burbled. "Not now, anyways. Not until I figure out how bad off you are." Finn glanced down at his feet. With a heavy sigh, she said, "I'm not angry, Finn. Just get your butt on the table." The big man was out of his shirt and shoes and up on the exam table in just a couple of breaths, making her laugh.

Still, as she poked and prodded him–and drew what seemed like way too much blood–the big man found himself still wondering what was bugging her. His mind went back to Fi. Patrick had said she was sick, and now Finn worried that she was having a relapse. "Is... Fi ok," he murmured? Glancing up in surprise, Drew flushed as she realized that he could somehow sense something was bothering her. "She's fine, Finn," said the doctor. "Pregnant is all." Finn's jaw dropped. Nodding, she poked him on the cheek and said, "yes, you get another grandchild to spoil rotten." That news had him excited.

"How are you feeling," asked the good doctor? With a sigh, Finn said, "I feel good, Dr. P. Really." Even the annoying pain under his shoulder was gone. "That's what's bothering me," muttered the pretty doctor. "That annoying pain was an incompletely healed wound that looked like it should have killed you. I never understood how you didn't bleed out from it, and now it's completely healed." Finn goggled at her. He vaguely remembered E wanting to beat his ass when he'd gotten hurt on his dad's ship, and he'd doused his wounds in what seemed like a gallon of cyclops tears.

"Princess Nadia said you had internal injuries," said Drew. "I see no signs of them." "She infested me with her nano-things," Finn replied. "Since then, I've felt better than I have in forever!" It was the doctor's turn to stare. The princess hadn't told her about that. Now she wanted to belt Nadia. The Grid-Face people had been working with nano-machines for centuries. They understood the effects, and they were, in any event, half machine. She had no idea what the effect would be on a pure-bred human. "I'm good, Dr. P," he said. "I feel better than ever." Nodding to herself, she went across to the cabinets and got out a rather large bag. Someone had drawn a cartoon Finn-face on it, and Finn's heart sank as the doctor returned with it. The rattle coming from the bag suggested an endless supply of really big, really nasty pills. As if in confirmation of his fears, she announced, "one each every day. Since you're burning the candle at both ends, you're going to need it..."

That crack sent his face into full flame. He hadn't really done anything to _hide_ the changes in his life from his doctor. Since she treated many (all?) of his girls, it stood to reason she would know how they'd gotten in a family way. "I'm not here to judge you, Finn," she said. "Take your pills like a good boy, ok?" Nodding, Finn took the bag and started for the door. She was still wearing that glum, distracted look. With a sigh, Finn set the bag down, turned to his long-time friend, and said, "I need to know what's bothering you. If it's not me, and it's not Fi, then what is it?" The doctor glanced away, and her face flushed. Striding back towards her, Finn took her by the shoulders and turned her to face him. "Dr. P," he said? "I struck out," she muttered. "Huh," was his ready answer? Flushing to her hair, she admitted, "I... remember when I said I was trying to have a baby? Well... nobody wants to have any part of it." Finn's jaw came open, and he stood there scratching his head in disbelief. Dr. P was one of the nicest and prettiest girls he knew.

Reading that the wrong way, she sighed and said, "it's crazy, I know. The world's turned upside down. There's an insane madman who's just murdered two dear friends of mine running around on the loose, and he's trying to destroy all the life in the world. And me? I'm trying to have a baby." She seemed to think it was crazy, but to Finn it made perfect sense. That was what made him do it. Reaching out to the stack of towels on the side-table, Finn grabbed one. Before the pretty doctor realized what was happening, and while she was still trying futilely to explain her reasons for wanting a baby, Finn had the rag stuffed in her mouth. Spinning the sexy doctor around, he jerked the lab-coat down off her shoulders, pulling her arms behind her back in the process. A quick double knot, in the sleeves, and she was tied up–her big boobies jutting out proud of her curvy body.

Next, as she squealed and cussed him, Finn picked her up, lay her out on the table, and strapped both legs into the stirrups, immobilizing her completely. Eyes wild, she stared up at him, huffing and puffing through her nose. Standing over her, he whispered, "I'm'a help you out, Dr. P." Without a further word, he began to unzip the ugly orange-brown sweater-dress she wore over her heavenly body. The sexy doctor shivered as the big man bared her soft, green skin to the cool air of the exam room.

"Those losers don't know what they're missing," he breathed as he caressed her soft skin. "You're one of the prettiest gals on Ooo! They should be worshiping at your feet!" The good doctor flushed to her hair as she realized that _he_ knew what they were missing. When she'd treated him for his emotional blocks after the body-snatcher took over his body, she'd used sex-therapy. Now, as if in reminder of those sessions, the big man began to slowly and sensually caress her body.

It had been a fair bit. She was a little embarrassed to realize that she had been 'between' for a while now. Work was partly to blame. The other problem was her interest in having a baby. None of the guys she'd dated wanted kids. As Finn's hands gently caressed her big, heaving boobies through her bra–seeming to almost _glide_ across the plump mounds, soft sighs left her. He hadn't forgotten what she liked. Leaning in, the big man kissed her soft skin, his breath sending shivers running up and down her spine. When he pulled the heavy-duty bra up over her big fun-bags, he found the nips already hard and sticking out.

Finn's rough fingers toyed with the hard tips of her boobies, the callouses stimulating them and causing her back to arch and her body to strain against the restraints holding her. At the same time, he pressed his nose against her belly-button and inhaled her scent before teasing the little pendant there with his tongue. It reminded him of Marcy's piercings–but more classy, like Dr. P herself. He was driving her crazy–teasing her and reminding her that, right now, he had complete control over _her_ body. It was terrifying and at the same time it was a tremendous turn on. When he finally got around to teasing her heaving tits with his lips, the proud woman freaked. Squealing and thrashing, she tried to press her plump knob into his mouth, even as Finn shoved her back down.

As she panted and gasped for breath, the big man headed down south to the Y. Tugging the crotch of her lacy yellow panties aside, he brushed her steamy gash with the tip of his finger, finding her already rather juicy. Knowing that somebody might come at any moment–something for a turn-on for him too–he immediately got to work. The sexy doctor shrieked into her gag when he began to go down on her. He nibbled at her button, and he slid one thick finger in and out of her honey-pot over and over, causing her to thrash and flail once more. He still really couldn't help teasing her as he took his time, slowly working her over until it looked like she was ready to burst, then backing down again until she was ready to scream at him and kick his ass.

Teasing her opening with his tongue, lapping at her juice, the big man unfastened his pants and struggled a moment to get his pecker out. Then, stepping up between her widely splayed thighs, he pressed the fat dong against her opening. Her hips surged up from the table as he slowly eased it in. He could feel her snatch squeezing him as her body shuddered and shook in release bathing his pecker in Drew-sauce. Leaning down over her as he drove the thick love-pole in and out of her, he whispered to her, telling her how beautiful her baby would be. He told her how glad–even _honored_ –he was to help her. He told her how much she deserved to be a mom. It was a strangely depraved idea, and it had her hands clenching and unclenching until she was leaving fingernail marks in her own palms, her body thrashing beneath him as she lost herself in the depraved joy of the moment. When she felt him shoot off, she had a searing orgasm that stole her breath.

Panting and gasping for breath, Finn climbed off Drew's beautiful body and began to untie her. He expected an explosion. He expected her to kick his ass around the room. Spitting out the taste of the rag as she sat up, Drew murmured, "well, I guess I can check bondage-sex off the bucket list." Finn blushed to his hair. Scooting forward, she began to gather herself back together, slipping her heavy boobies back into her bra and fastening her dress once more. As she worked, she thought about where they were. She'd been striking out. She'd been striking out with every man she'd tried, and honestly she felt a little rejected. She was older, but she wasn't a _hag_. Her people aged very well indeed, and she still had nice firm boobies, firm legs, and a flat tummy.

Complicating matters was the certainty that Finn had enough on his plate already. She well knew the strain he was under and the responsibility that was crushing him because he was literally carrying the world on his shoulders. Again. Still. But he'd taken the time to give her this. Because he cared. He wanted her to have this because she needed it. She'd been teasing him when she asked if he was suggesting himself for the role of surrogate father, but she now realized that he would be a very good father indeed–that she wouldn't have to fear her child knowing who _daddy_ was. With a sigh, she asked, "are you sure, Finn? That you want to do this?"

Sliding his arms around her, Finn pressed his nose against her hair and whispered, "you're not crazy, Dr. P. It's... What you want to do is wonderful. That's the best statement anybody could make against the Lich." She chuckled, "second-best, sweet boy." Stroking his long, golden hair, she said, "the best is kicking his ass. Now, if you want our baby to have a world to be born into, I suggest you get moving." Smiling himself, Finn grabbed his bag of pills and got on his way. Having done what the girls wanted, he headed back to the office to dive back into the whirlwind of work that was waiting on him.

Halfway there, he got a phone call from Bonnie and found himself rushing across town to the palace. On arrival, he found the princesses all waiting on him in Bonnie's lab with glum faces. Phoebe was there, looking huge, and she had the only smile of the pack. That said a lot about the news Bonnie had. "Ok, Poibles," he said, "lay it on me." Betty sighed and said, "I dreamed last night. Simon came to me and said Penny had the Ice Crown..." Finn glanced to Bonnie, who said, "we were just looking at satellite images of the island, Finn. He's frozen fifteen percent of the ocean just in the few days he's had it. At the rate of growth he's shown, the ocean will be frozen all the way across in just a month." They were running out of time.

"The army's ready, PB, but I don't know how to get it there or what to do when we arrive," Finn said. Nodding, Bonnie admitted that she'd been thinking about that too. The expression of fear and worry on her face suggested she had no answer, and that terrified _him_. A clearly terrified Ragnhild reported that her homeland was unseasonably cold, forcing Phoebe to admit that her people had been forced to abandon some of their outlying settlements. Ooo was slowly growing colder. It was a grim turn for a day that had been going well.

Squaring up, Finn said, "we have Wolf's cure, but we don't know how well it'll work with him split between bodies. We also have the bomb. Which do we use Peebles? What's our best chance?" Bonnie pondered that for a few moments. "Our best chance," she said, "is to break up the ice shelf. We can use the bomb for that. I have P-Bot working on finishing my updated solar-ray satellite. That'll help finish the job..." An anxious Breakfast leaned forward and asked, "but won't he just start over? He has both Ice Crowns now. If he could do this in a week, we'll be fighting him forever..." It was a point not lost on the other members of Bonnie's inner circle.

"Not if we catch him in the blast," said Finn. Turning to Bonnie, the big man said, "we know he's got a lair. If you can find it for me, I'll lead a team in to plant the bomb where it'll get him too." That had the entire pack of princesses thinking. A few–Finn's ladies–were far from happy about this idea. At the same time, there seemed few options. "I'll get to work on it," Bonnie promised.

Decision made, it was time to figure out how they were even going to get to the ice. The Lich had built himself a veritable floating mountain range composed of massive icebergs that blocked access to the waters around the massive ice-sheet he'd conjured. They had to cross the ocean to reach the wall, scale that wall, then cross more deep water to reach the Lich's artificial ice-sheet. "Let me work it," said Nadia. "Good enough," said Bonnie. "Finn? You may return to your work." There was other business to discuss. Wildberry and her friends had done a lot of damage while they were in power. It was time to get some of it straightened out.

Finn returned to the army in a state of profound depression. He'd known that Wildberry's antics had done damage. He'd had no idea just how much. His world seemed in danger of collapse, and he wasn't sure what to do now. Standing on the sidelines watching his kids put the army through its paces was no help at all. Watching them stage mock battles seemed absurd given what they were up against. In the end, he wound up leaving a little early to head home and think.

In better times, the drive through evening traffic let him think. Three kids and two wives had often left him with little time to work through problems, and the truck had become his sanctuary. Now it did very little to help him work through a mountain of problems and cope with the fact that he still seemed to be on the brink of losing it all. Pulling into the drive, he put the truck in park and climbed the driveway to his home. Shutting the door, he kicked off his boots out of reflexive habit, donned slippers, and headed upstairs.

Much to his surprise, he found the kitchen lit by soft candlelight and Lollipop at the stove cooking–wearing nothing but an apron and a smile. Leaving the stove, she strolled over and began helping him out of his stuff. That led to her fussing over him as he worked his way through supper. After Bonnie's news he wasn't very hungry, but he made himself eat. That led into making out on the couch, which led into going upstairs to screw for half an hour before he fell asleep on her while snuggling.

A couple hours later, the big man was awakened by knocking at the door. Rising, he was startled to find Lollipop gone. Shrugging on a bathrobe, he went downstairs and opened the door to find Dr. P on his doorstep. She had heels and red stockings on under her coat, suggesting she'd been out on the town. Her lips were daubed in a sexy red lipstick that made his mouth water. Her short brown hair had been teased out just so, and she'd painted a little daub of mascara around her eyelids, giving her soft brown eyes that sexy smoky-eye look. Standing there in the door way, she unfastened the front of her coat, revealing a sexy red teddie over a matching lace thong and red stockings. Finn's pecker was instantly at attention. "Since we've kind of agreed on this," she said, "I thought we should make sure..." "Uh... sure," said Finn.

Finn shut the door behind her and followed that amazing ass up the stairs to the master bedroom. She looked a lot different with her hair down to her shoulders instead of up in pony-tails, and the absence of a lab-coat was both jarring and, at the same time, sexy. When they arrived at the top of the stairs, she stood there a moment, just looking at him. It was like she wasn't sure what to do–which was odd for the normally confident doctor.

Taking her by the hand, the big man led her over to the bed and sat down. Pulling her onto his lap, he slipped the coat off her shoulders, tossed it aside, and began to kiss her soft, red lips. The beautiful woman sighed breathily as he got to grips with her body, stroking and caressing her soft skin, running his fingertips all over. He still had the touch. At the same time, he'd gotten much too used to pleasing others. Breaking that kiss, she slipped off his lap, saying, "ditch the robe." Finn got out of the bathrobe with alacrity, tossing it in the corner. When he sat down again, naked, she pushed his knees apart and knelt down between them, teasing at his big dong with her fingertip. Licking her lips, she said, "my turn." And she went down on him just like that.

"Shit," he groaned. He wouldn't have guessed she had it in her. The only girls to go down on him like this were E and Cherry, and he wasn't sure which of the two was better at it. Now, he had to add a third contestant to the list. Hands clawing at the bed, butt squirming around, he got quite carried away. Expertly, she teased his knob with her tongue, while her fingers gently stroked his balls. She even raked her sharp fingernails through his crotch hair, sending jolts of lightning up his spine. When she started humming, he came close to losing it right there. He had to save it. He knew that from when he was trying to make Fionna with Simone. Now he begged her to stop so he could give her what she wanted.

Teasing his dong with the tip of her tongue, she said, "you really want me to stop, baby?" "Please," he hissed, through clenched teeth. "Why," she asked? "Is it that you want to get me pregnant?" "Yeah," groaned Finn. "Wanna' knock you up good." Rising, she showed him her newly-shaven snatch, asking, "you want to pump your baby in here?" It took all his will not to shoot off right there. Straddling his hips, she grabbed his fat pecker and pressed it against her gash. "Wait," she breathed, as she slowly eased down that long dong. "Wait until you're all the way in..." That last came with a whimper. She was still a little sore from earlier when he'd screwed her within an inch of her life.

Wrapping her arms around his shoulder, she pressed those big knobs against his face. Finn didn't hesitate to start kissing and sucking at those heavy knockers. It gave him something to think about as her tight sheathe squeezed him so much he was certain he'd never get it all in. The sexy doctor began to ride him, slowly going up and down that fat rod. Moaning softly, her hands raked and scratched at his back as her hips wriggled and bucked. Reaching around her, he got a firm hold of that amazing ass, feeling the hard muscle flex beneath his fingers as every so slowly she filled herself up with his pecker.

They didn't speak much. He was too busy trying to hold on, and she was too busy screaming. Each time his dong drove into her snatch and bottomed out, Drew screamed. Finn's fingers left finger-shaped marks on her ass as he squeezed that juicy butt while she continued to fuck herself silly. It might have gone five minutes. It might have been an hour. He lost all track of the time or the surroundings. His mind was centered on his pecker–and the feel of Drew blasting off over and over again. Faster and faster she rode his rod, her hips slapping into his, and her meaty butt making clapping sounds as it wriggled and jumped. Finally she slammed down on him one last time, sending him crashing over the edge too. He shot what felt like all the goo he was ever going to have into her belly before collapsing back onto the bed.

Laying awake afterwards listening to Dr. P's soft breathing he reflected on his situation. He'd been afraid he _couldn't_ win. He'd wondered how he would do this. Now he wondered how he could _not_ win. He had no choice. He had to win. For his babies and for the madwomen who had given them to him, he _had_ to win if it cost him his life. Rolling over, sliding his arms around Drew, he promised the darkness that he would finish boneface for good.


	53. Chapter 53

Chapter 53:

The outpost was nothing more than a barren patch of concrete in the middle of nowhere. In a world that sometimes seemed as if it was a patchwork of barren, burnt, and rocky ground, interspersed with riotous growth, this place held nothing that made it stand out save the strange metallic objects there on the concrete. The Grid-Face People had painstakingly mapped out every forgotten and abandoned airfield across the face of the civilized Kingdoms. They needed them. Flying had always been risky business, but it was especially so in a world turned upside down.

The small crew on the field were wrapping up repairs to one of their engines. They'd been here for days, working at fixing their machine but mostly drinking, catching small game, and camping out at night. They were as Russian as the Lich's countrymen had been once-upon-a-time. He could almost smell the vodka and pirogi. It was almost a shame to kill them. _But life is wasted on the living,_ he thought Turning to his minions, he said, "begin..."

Hundreds of miles to the west, Finn the Human lay dozing in his bed, lost in the void between sleeping and waking. Finding himself in the treehouse, he'd been amusing himself by _wandering_. At least he had until he ran into Ice King sitting there on his couch, playing Beemo. "Hey, Finn," the older man greeted him. Glancing down, he said, "I guess I should've expected this..." Finn blinked his eyes and found himself facing Simon. "Sorry, man," said Finn. "Was just dreaming..." "Nah, man," said Simon, "I never knew it until I was dead, but honestly those were some of the best times of my life... You were a true friend."

Flushing, Finn glanced away. He didn't feel like a friend. "Stop doin' that," Simon advised. "You and Betty both do too much of that." Which was another source of embarrassment. Moving on, Finn asked, "what's up?" "Wonderin' why you haven't told Betty and the kids about Simone and Emeraude," said Simon. Flushing, Finn said, "I didn't want to get their hopes up..." Finn sounded... _off_ and Simon said so. Chuckling humorlessly, Finn reminded his old pal, "the path to the Night-O-Sphere's paved with good intentions." Frowning, Simon asked, "what does _that_ mean?" With a shrug, Finn said, "it means I gotta' go..."

Finn woke to the feel of Sarah's soft sighs against his cheek and felt the pain of the moment all over again. It had been a crazy week for him spent mostly in an effort to please the people who shared his life–to leave them with positive memories. He'd failed of course. He'd failed because with all his girls and almost all of his family here at once there simply hadn't been time to spend solo-time with them all. He'd lurched from one crazy moment to the next–playing with Van and talking baby names with Cherry to making lunch for Bonnie to rough-housing with Bill, Fionna, and Shoko.

It helped not at all that nearly everyone was just as busy playing their part. Freed of her chains and death sentence, an invigorated Bonnie had thrown herself into the business of finding a way to imprison the Lich. That and undoing the damage Wildberry had done occupied most of her time. Cherry wrangled the council. Bill and the kids finagled the army, and Sarah and Lollipop played backstop, moving to shore up whatever job needed the help.

The deconfliction of who he found in bed was something of a miracle. He never knew what he was going to find when he clawed his way up the stairs to his home. Six of the eight regulars were still anxious about getting their share, with the three who were preggers being horny as mink. He hardly felt rested, though at least Phoebes only came by to snuggle. That would have made her visits a little better if Sarah or Nadia or Lollipop didn't use the excuse to crowd the line. And if he wasn't receiving nightly visits from them, there was Dr. P who often visited him to 'make sure'.

This morning he had Sarah on one side of him and Betty on the other. The android girl had just shown up in the middle of a torrid session with Betty and sat down to _watch_ the show. She'd spent the entire time egging him on and suggesting things he ought to do to the older woman. Shockingly, far from being upset, Betty seemed to be even more turned on than usual. And then both women had proceeded to slip into bed with him and rub their heavenly bodies against him for over an hour, doing their best to keep him wound up when he really needed to sleep.

He was leaving today. They were out of time. _He_ was out of time. They were going to throw the dice one last time and try to take down the Lich once and for all. He still didn't know how to find the Lich's other half, and that was putting his whole plan in play. He was sure he could take out Simone's body, but not even Baba Yaga knew what that would do to Yuri. Would he be destroyed? What would happen to his 'other half'. _Focus, Finn,_ the big man told himself as he sat up. The ice was the immediate threat. Yuri had no way to get to Baba Yaga's home. With time, Nadia, Sarah, and Bonnie could dismantle the bomb. He just had to buy them time.

Leaning over, he kissed each of his ladies in turn, whispering, "time to get up..." As Betty fought her way out of sleep, Sarah sat yawning and watching him as he prepared to go. "You still have an hour," said Sarah. "Go and wash. Both of you. I'll make breakfast." As Finn watched her wiggling butt head down the stairs, Betty tugged on his arm, saying, "she's right, babe. Let's go." Thirty minutes later, Sarah was driving them at nearly terrifying speeds down the highway in Finn's truck. Finn sat in the back with Betty doing his best to keep her mind off what the android girl was doing.

He talked about their grandchild, and how happy and excited he was about that. He teased her about whether or not she'd join him in crawling around on the floor to play with him/her when the baby was born. Betty did her best to hold up her end of the conversation, but honestly her mind was occupied with the unpleasant burbling of her stomach and the embarrassing knowledge that her grandchild would be growing up alongside his aunt or uncle. And she was having trouble fessing up.

She felt like a fool. She was too old for raising a baby. Really, she felt like she was too old when she had Patrick. More to the point, she was adding to the burden when Finn clearly had too much going on already. He'd become almost _melancholy_ the last few days, and she was certain nobody had noticed but her. She wasn't sure what was causing the change, but it had clearly been getting worse as they got close to jumping off to strike at the Lich.

Arriving at the airfield, they found a small armada of airships waiting. The big man was out of the truck and wrangling their gear almost before the truck stopped. Fionna had gone with the bulk of the army days before, taking Patrick with her so Betty didn't have to face her son. Instead, she shouldered her bag and followed Finn to the plane where her fellows were waiting. Another crazy part of her life. Cherry had more or less made it clear that she considered herself to be Finn's wife. Betty had a feeling the crime boss wasn't alone–nor did she really know how _she_ felt. Did she dare make that claim?

Bonnie threw her arms around him and kissed him. Finn hugged her and whispered soothing words. Breaking that embrace, he went next to Lollipop and then to Cherry. That brought him to his most-envious sweetheart. Finn greeted her with a request. Motioning for Betty to get aboard, Finn took Nadia aside. Standing beneath one of the engines, he opened with, "my precious princess..." Nadia blushed to her hair and glanced away. Taking her face in his hands, Finn said, "babe, I ain't gonna' lie. This is bad any way you look at it..." "Don't say it," the proud beauty growled!

Relentless as his implacable enemy, Finn pulled her to him when she might have run off. "Baby, this is fifty fifty," he said. "If I fail, I need you to take my place. I need you to help PB and Sarah to make a safe place for Ooo's peeps." "You're not coming back," she accused him! "I'm'a try, princess," he whispered. Grabbing her ass and grinding his hips against hers, he said, "wanna' make a baby with you..." Nadia flushed. "I love you, princess," he whispered. "If you love me, respect my wishes. Ooo needs you. Ok?" Nadia half-heartedly nodded. "Royal Promise," Finn insisted. "Royal Promise," she sobbed before running away.

Finn watched her go for a minute. Then he came back to the ramp. Muttering curses, Piotr said, "for second time you chase away copilot..." Shaking his head, the pilot went up the ramp, motioning for his passengers to get aboard. Flushing, Finn said his goodbyes, took Betty's hand, and headed up the ramp. The pair buckled in, and Betty found herself a little anxious–not for the flight, since she'd flown for half her life before following Simon's voice through the portal. She was anxious because of her relationship with this man, the child in her middle, and the future that awaited them.

"What did you say to her," she asked? "I asked her to be my backup plan," Finn replied. "Her people can shelter the people of Ooo. If they can keep the ice at bay long enough, maybe Bonnie can find a solution." It was a grim assessment, but that was the man she'd come to love and respect. Taking his hand, the older woman lay her head on his shoulder and drifted off to sleep.

Late that same day, Star Mertens came slipping through the heavy growth around Penny's latest camp, angling for a way in. She'd been trailing them for days since Laurel Princess's train had gone. They'd moved at night when the undead were strongest and most difficult to see, limiting her chances to get close to see what they were doing. It was clear from the steady progress they made and the level of organization the camp had that they were acting on a plan. They weren't here hiding. They were pursuing some goal the Lich had, and she wanted to know what that was.

She spent a while watching as one of the Dipped passed by, enjoying the sick and twisted pass-time of dissolving the local shrubs and plant-life for the fun of it. A disgusted Star wished she dared blast him/it. As she watched, the sick fucker finally grew bored and moved on. Laying there in the quiet, Star waited several beats until she was sure he was gone. Then she slipped through the perimeter and into the camp.

The little woman kept her eyes peeled, and her senses were alive to the sounds and smells around her. The whole of the place reeked of death and decay, and she was very much nauseated by everything she saw or smelled. It was worse than being in Cherry's dope lab. Only there seemed to be no respite. There was no hidden room to give her a break from the offensive sensations and reward her for her persistence. Instead, the deeper she penetrated into the heart of darkness, the worse things got.

Creeping along, dodging the patrolling undead, the young woman finally penetrated to the heart of the camp to find a clearing, freshly cut in the woods and open to the sky. There in that clearing stood a scaffold with a worm-eaten wooden arm hanging over a tall vat. This wasn't the first she'd seen such a vat. She clearly remembered one from the trap in Laurel Kingdom. She'd wondered then what the vat was for. Now she got an unforgettable demonstration of the horror that the Lich was capable of. There were two Grid-Face people there in the clearing–a man and woman. Both had been stripped to their orange skin and bound in wooden collars that imprisoned their hands.

At first the little woman stared in puzzlement. What did the Lich want with cyborgs? Then, as she watched in fear and worry, the woman was forced to march up the scaffold to the top. Once there, one of the evil creatures forced a wooden contraption into her mouth, wedging her mouth open. As she struggled and squealed, the sole living person in the clearing fastened iron shackles around her ankles. Then, as the wood nymph wonder stared in horror, the poor woman was hoisted aloft by her feet, hung out over the vat, and then slowly lowered inside. As Star stared, the wooden vat bubbled over, putrid black filth boiling over the sides as the victim struggled and fought, her arms banging into the sides of the wooden vat. And then slowly the struggles ceased. When the chain was pulled back out of the vat, it came up with a jumble of corroded metal bits and pieces, tied together with bits of plastic. The woman was gone, save for a few bits of gristle that stubbornly clung the to tech that had been inside her body.

The man hurled curses at them. Star recognized bits of phrase that the Rusalka and Princess Nadia had used when shouting at each other. It did him little good. Just like his companion, he was forced to climb those stares. Once atop the rickety scaffold, he too was carefully shackled about the legs, and his mouth wedged open. Then, just like his companion, he was hoisted aloft and plunged into that corrosive muck. This time, when they withdrew the dunking arm, the shackles came up with a blob of liquid darkness. As a horrified Star looked on, the former cyborg _flowed_ out of his shackles. Grabbing the man who'd operated the machine by his throat, the Dipped dissolved him down to nothing. Star immediately lost breakfast lunch and dinner. Now she knew. She'd had no idea what the Dipped were or how they came to be. She could have done without finding out this way.

Backing away from that scene, her mind reeling from the horror, Star made the first mistake of this little expedition. She stepped on a half-rotten stick, causing it to snap with an audible *crack*. It quickly became apparent just how fast that mistake could become her last as a half-dozen of the undead rushed towards where she was. The little woman did the only thing she could right then. She fled, fast as her feet would carry her.

Bounding over fallen trees, tearing through the forest, the wood nymph wizard fled for her life. If they caught her, she could expect to be dissolved like that man–if she was lucky. If she was unlucky, she could expect to be put up on that scaffold–to be treated to the horror that Princess Suadela had been subjected to. She'd be the Lich's slave, her body and mind lost, and she'd never have a chance to punish Penny Sweet for taking her moms away.

That was the thought that sustained her as she took the twists and turns of the forest, tearing through the undergrowth in an increasingly frantic effort to escape the fate the undead had in store for her. She could hear and smell them, rushing– _flowing_ –ahead of her, trying to cut her off. They didn't have to fight the forest. They could simply dissolve it. She had her weapons. There were a lot of them, but she had her weapons. Would it be enough? _If you stand and fight, they'll swarm you,_ she thought. She and Billy had held their own against the monsters in the trap house. They'd been holding their own until forced to flee. With her brother at her side, she'd managed a draw. No, fighting wasn't an option.

Breathless, she finally stopped to assess her options. She could make them kill her. She could do so much damage, that they would have to kill her. It seemed that was the one hope she had. As she was considering that, a hand came out of nowhere, enveloping her mouth, and she felt a powerful arm wrap itself around her middle. Momentarily she was up in the trees, staring down as the undead converged on where she had been. "It was here," muttered one of the Dipped. "I smelled it. It was right here." "Her," said another. "It was a female. Probably a nymph by the scent." "Where in hades did she go," demanded a third? There were a lot of them. Star shivered as they went tearing back and forth beneath her feet. If one of them got the idea to start dissolving trees, she was still a goner. In point of fact, she had no idea who it was that had saved her ass.

It as a boy. She could feel his hard body against her back–and the beginnings of a woody against her butt. Question was, why didn't they just look up? They had a pretty good ability to sniff her out. How was it they didn't look up and find them up here? No questions were forthcoming though. Her mysterious benefactor said not a word as the undead went back and forth, up and down. Finally, their master called it off, summoning the evil things back to his side. When they had gone, Star tried to fight her way free of the man holding her. Instead of letting go, his grip tightened. Suddenly they were flying.

Star very nearly squealed in fright as they went soaring through the trees at breakneck speed, twisting and turning around tree-trunks until they were very far from the undead and their camp. Only then did the stranger descend. Star counted down the seconds as the ground got closer. Just when she would have elbowed him or tried bashing his face with the back of her head, he just let go. The little wood nymph bounced once, going end over end and landing in a heap. Coughing, she came up swinging–or tried to. A foot held her right hand down, and when she managed to get her cloak off her face, she found herself staring up into her little brother's eyes.

"What the fuck, Marshall," snarled the wood nymph?! "Saving your ass, kiddo," he replied. Rolling her eyes, Star jerked her arm out from under his foot, saying, "I'm almost six months older than you, so who's the kid again?" The Vampire King blushed to his hair. Climbing to her feet, she said, "and what kind of sicko gets a hard-on rubbing against his own sister." Glancing away, he said, "you have a nice butt, and you kept grinding your ass against me." Flushing to her hair, she said, "you snatched me off the ground, jackass. You're lucky I didn't feed you a blast-bolt." He grinned at her and said, "then you'd be dissolved..." The little wizard glanced away. He wasn't going to let her forget that.

Moving on, she demanded to know what the hell he was doing here? "Purple-face dropped me off," he said. "That's the whole reason she was here." Star goggled at him. Airily, he said, "dad figured they'd take her for a spy. Gave me a perfect chance to slip into their camp. At least until you came along." "I was doing fine," she muttered. That made him howl laughter. Moving on, she demanded, "I got there late. Wh-what did you see? Why were their Grid-Face people in the camp?" "He's trying to capture a plane," said Marshall. "Don't know why, but he wants one of them alive... uh... undead to fly him somewhere." Star grabbed at her hair in fright. She knew where they wanted to go. There was one place on Ooo that could interest him. Baba Yaga was in danger!

"W-we have to get back to dad," she howled! "What," retorted Marshall? "Why? His orders are to stay right here and follow this guy." Taking a gadget out of his pocket, the Vampire King said, "I'm gonna' do boneface with this." Star knew what it was instantly. It was a very similar device to the one her mother had used to save her dad from the alien bodysnatcher. "Gonna' snatch him up same time dad's hitting the other half. Then we stuff him through a portal to the Night-O-Sphere so my mom can handle business." "But it won't matter if he gets his hands on whatever the witch has in her lair," Star retorted! "You got no idea what it is," laughed Marshall. "Dad does," she murmured. "I think he was afraid of what it could be. We have to warn him. You have to fly me to him." Rolling his eyes, Marshall said, "it would take a week. He's out on that island by now." Star gave vent to a bout of cursing.

Turning to her brother, she said, "what have they been doing? Is there a Grid-Person airship near here?" "Yeah," he said. "There's an old airfield over yonder. Those dudes came off of it." "One of them survived," muttered Star. "He's got somebody to fly him and a machine to ride in. We... We'll need to stow away. Tell me you can get us on that plane." The Vampire King said, "you really think he's goin' to Siberia?" "I'm certain he is," Star murmured. "Baba Yaga guards something. Like every princess on Ooo, she's in charge of guarding something really dangerous. Dad had a suspicion that the Lich wanted it for some reason." "Meaning it could be a weapon of some kind," murmured the Goth kid. "Ok," he said. "I guess I'll follow your lead."

Marshall flew them back to the camp, enveloping them in his own personal cloud of darkness. He'd always thought his mother's ability to maker herself unseen was a fun parlor trick, but he'd come to discover that it was anything but. He'd always felt the darkness. It was always there, teasing at the edges of his senses and making him want to do dick things to people around him–even the ones he loved. He'd come to feel it rather keenly when he had crossed over into being a full vampire instead of just a half-breed. There was an intense, _burning_ need sometimes to do hurt to people, even if it was only minor. He fought that need on an almost hourly basis, and found himself pitying his mother who'd been fighting this hunger for a thousand years.

Still, nothing had prepared him for the feel of invisibility. He'd never felt the darkness as keenly as when he first drew the cloak over himself. It was like being enveloped–even _smothered_ in darkness. The darkness permeated his skin, clawing at him and wanting to become one with his soul. And it was the moment he most wanted to do harm as it awakened horrible ideas in his mind–ideas like raping his sister to hear her screams. It took all his will to fight the hunger he had inside him. He hungered to act on his rage to hurt people, and he understood, a little, how his mother could be so loving and yet so bitter, angry, and even _cruel_.

It helped to focus on the things that mattered. He focused on those things he cared about with a laser accuracy. Star was, after Shoko, his favorite of his sisters. She wasn't annoying like Fionna, and he sort of _got_ her. Her mom was as much a black-sheep as his was, and he saw that in unguarded moments when she was angry or when she was focused on something like this. She had the same need to prove she was Finn's kid that he found in himself. Now they were going to prove it once and for all, and he found joy in that. Hugging his sister all the tighter, the tall man drew his darkness down tight around them, as he settled in the highest branches of a tree overlooking the forgotten airfield.

"Can they hear me like this," burbled Star. "If you're loud, yeah," said the vampire. Star didn't like this feeling. She didn't like the skin-crawling feeling of his invisibility. _Necessary evil, Star,_ she thought. In moments like this, it helped to focus on the things that were important to her. She wanted a baby of her own to raise. Seeing her stepmoms and their excitement had awakened her own excitement. She wanted to have a daughter to raise, and she promised herself to try and live up to her own mother's example as she focused on the activities down below.

There were an awful lot of undead down there. He was going loaded for bear, but then he was going to face a creature that her father suspected had been old before the Mushroom War. Star knew the witch was powerful. She'd seen Baba Yaga's power firsthand. Just as Star's father had said, it would take an army to defeat the Rusalka on her home ground. "How many do you think he can squeeze on the plane," Marshall asked? "Beats me," growled Star. It wasn't the largest of planes, but then the Lich wasn't really thinking of coming back. "It matters, Star," said Marshall. "Even I can't hide us from a plane loaded to the walls with those guys."

Fortunately, it appeared he wouldn't have to. Done with the business of getting the plane ready to go, many of the undead turned and began walking back to their camp. Star told her brother, "now's the time. This is our best..." Marshall was already in motion, gliding swiftly across the intervening space. He moved so fast, it stole her breath away. At the plane, the tall man hesitated only a moment. Then he was diving through the cargo-bay opening, slipping in before the evil crew inside could shut it.

Hundreds of miles away, Finn was in the middle of a fitful night's sleep. His sleep had gotten better since he essentially quit worrying about the women in his life only to take a drastic turn when he came to realize just how close his mortal enemy was to destroying the world. Now, as a worried Betty lay beside him, the big man thrashed and moaned in his sleep, telling her just how hard this was on him. In his dream, the big man was facing boneface with the bomb in his hand, and his feeble mind couldn't figure out how to press the button. He couldn't do it.

"Maybe you're not meant to," declared Simon. Finn whirled around to find his old friend standing there, dapper in his ugly blue robes and white beard. "Finn," said Simon. "Why're you trying to carry this alone, man? You've got Bonnie. You got Cherry. You got Betty. You even got a pile of kids. Why're you doing this? Why haven't you told anybody about Simone and Emeraude being alive?" Setting down the bomb–the Lich was gone anyway–Finn turned to his friend and father-in-law and said, "I can't save them, Simon. Not this time." " _What_ ," howled the wizard? "Finn, you're not making sense."

Shaking his head, Finn said, "that's what he wants me to be worried about. That's why I'm having trouble with the bomb. I can't kill the woman I've loved for twenty years. I was acting out and acting like a jerk when I cheated on her, but I could no more kill the woman I love than I could fly to the moon. That's why he took her from me. He wants me like this. Indecisive." "Boy, that's a big word coming from you," Simon burbled. Flushing, Finn realized that he _had_ sort of been using bigger words lately. A corner of his mind wanted to puzzle at that, but there really wasn't the time. "I'm... I gotta' take that out of the fight," said Finn. "Make it not be about him and me and what he did to my girls." That sounded ominous to Simon, but before he could say a word to change Finn's mind, the big man said, "this is goodbye, Simon." And then he was forced out of Finn's dream.

Simon found himself floating above his best friend and his wife, staring down at them. Betty was still awake, but he wasn't sure appearing to her was a good idea right now. As uptight as Finn was about bangin' Betty, Betty was even more ashamed, and the feeling got worse when she knew he'd seen them together. There were other people he could work on. Heading out of the shack through the handiest wall, he cocked his head to one side, _listening_ for a familiar heartbeat. Fionna was on the far side of the camp. His granddaughter had been a little sheepish about being in a family way and a little embarrassed to be seen carrying on with someone. That gave Simon an opening.

He found his granddaughter in the shack she shared with Patrick, sitting up on a crate playing Beemo. The little robot had come along for the grandest adventure ever, and now he sat, bundled into a heavy coat, while he tortured Fionna with the Most Insane Game Level Ever. Simon walked up next to her and asked, "how's it goin', Fi?" "Pretty good, grampa," she replied. In that moment, Fionna did a double take. Then, far from screaming, she jumped into the air and threw herself on Simon in delight. Or rather she threw herself _through_ him, smacking into the corrugated metal wall of her shack. "Sorry about that, Fi," said he, as he gestured, picking her up off the floor where she'd landed. "I... you...," she gabbled. With a shrug, he said, "I'm still dead, Fi. I... needed to talk to you." Fionna glanced around her. "That guy ain't still lookin' for you," she asked? With a sigh, Simon replied, "probably. That just means I have to be quick, punkin. I got some news for you... You need to go talk to your dad about this, soon as you can..."

Minutes later, Fionna blew past Patrick without so much as a word, leaving her fiancé staring after her. She passed Billy not long after. As Patrick came huffing and puffing out of the darkness, the older man asked, "was that?" "Yeah," he said. "Got no idea what's going on..." But it seemed to be rather important. Fionna wasn't even wearing her coat. The two men rushed after the tall blonde, shouting at her to stop, but Fionna never slowed down. She didn't slow down until she reached her father's quarters. There she began banging on the corrugated metal that was shelter against the cold here on this frozen island.

Groggy, Finn came to the door, opening it up to find his daughter there waiting on him. "Fi," he burbled? "Wha...?" "Mom's alive," she shouted. Jumping up and down, she grabbed her father by the shoulders and shook him, shouting, 'mom's alive' over and over. That was how Billy and Patrick found them. Finn, awake now, knew immediately what this was about. Simon had likely gone to what he thought was a court of appeals for the decision Finn had made. He intended to give the old man a piece of his mind if they ever talked again. In the now, he brushed past his daughter and came out into the cold, dressed in his pants and shoes and nothing else.

Billy asked the question, "what do you mean?" Fionna told her big brother, "grampa Simon came to me! I saw him in my tent!" "Huh," asked Patrick? "It was kinda' like gramma... I mean Betty said it...," babbled the blonde bunny. "I... uh... He was there in our room, Patrick. He came to me to tell me my moms are alive! Both of 'em!" She couldn't wait to tell Star! Billy turned to his father, who's unhappy expression told Billy a rather dangerous story without his lips even moving. Finn had already heard this. He'd heard it from Simon himself. Calmly, he asked their dad, "how long did you know?" Without even flinching, Finn replied, "couple weeks. Simon appeared to me when I got busted up in the crash."

Fi stopped in the middle of her celebration, her big, grey eyes going wide. "W-what," she howled?! "Y-you didn't tell _us_?!" Finn replied, "I wasn't sure I could trust it. I'm still not sure it matters." That had all three youngsters staring at him. What did _that_ mean? Calmly, Finn said, "the ice is getting to a phase where it'll be self-sustaining, in spite of the sun..." Pointing upwards, he said, "it's already altering weather patterns across the face of Ooo. We should be in spring by now. There should be rains. Instead, it snowed over the sea in Ragnhild's kingdom." Billy flushed. The boiling sea was just that. Heated by magma from the Fire Kingdom, the sea to the north of Ragnhild's domain was almost always churning. It wasn't right for it to be _snowing_!

"Wh-what's that got to do with anything," Fionna demanded? Finn replied, "I have to focus on ending the threat to Ooo, Fi. I... can't get caught up trying to rescue your mothers. Not right now. I have to destroy this island. That has to be my focus. Anything else comes second..." " _Daddy_ ," howled Fionna?! "You can't just let that fucker keep moms! What the junk?!" "I'll see you in the morning, Fi," said Finn, as he turned away. Fionna grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around. Her face red with rage, she slapped their father hard enough that _Billy_ winced. Patrick grabbed her and pulled her back.

Softly, his father in law said, "this is how it has to be for me, Fi." In spite of the gash her diamond-hard nails had made on his jaw, he was calm and cool as ice. "I have to carry this burden," he said. "I have to do what has to be done. You... have another choice." Reaching in his pocket, he took out the gadget that the Wolf gave them. Taking her hand–the hand that had just slashed his face open, Finn folded the little device into her palm, curling her fingers over it. "Choose wisely, Fi," he said. Then, without a further word, he turned and went inside the shack.

Fi turned and stormed off, pulling at her hair and screaming as she went tromping back through the darkness. Billy immediately rushed after her, leaving Patrick staring at the door to Finn's hut. He was staring at the door, thinking of the shocking sight he'd glimpsed through the doorway. Was that his mom?

Billy followed his sister all the way back to her quarters, listening to her rant and rave about wanting to tear their father into pieces. He'd seen her in this state only once–the day their mother was taken. He'd been willing to give his father the benefit of the doubt then, and he'd calmed Fi down and gotten her down off the ledge. Now he began to wonder if she hadn't been right. What was their father doing? _Think it through, Bill,_ he told himself. _There's always a reason for the things he does, even when we can't see it._ Finn had been doing this sort of thing–dealing with horrifying things like this–well before they were born. More to the point, Billy knew what a man caught in mischief looked like. He'd seen it hundreds of times working with the Banana Guards. His father was doing what he believed was the right thing.

 _Isn't it,_ thought the young man? What _should_ he be doing? Sacrificing Ooo to save one person? Was that what a good man did? Sacrifice millions of lives for one? He thought back to the moment on Ragnhild's train where he'd had her and Anders sitting on his lap. He would have abandoned the train and everyone else on it to save the two of them. That was what he thought a man was. Now, he realized he'd been _half_ right. Sometimes, it seemed, that wasn't quite enough.

Fionna slammed her door open and stormed into the shack beyond. Billy caught the door before it shut and stepped in after her, closing it on the sub-zero temperatures outside. He called out to his sister, "Fi?" "I don't fucking want to hear it," she shouted back! She was pacing and screaming and flailing her arms as if she wanted to wring their father's neck. "Fi," said Billy. "Talk to me. Tell me what you're thinking." The pretty blonde stopped right where she was. When she turned to face her brother, he saw angst, pain, and no little anger in her eyes.

"It's like he doesn't even care that our moms could be alive," howled Fionna! Billy nodded in acknowledgment of that. It didn't look good what their father was doing. If you only looked at it from a selfish standpoint, it looked a lot like maybe he was just going to do in his wives for the chance to keep on screwing around with his harem of horny princesses. But there was a flipside to the argument–one that transcended all the emotional angst. It was something that Fionna didn't really see or understand because she was still so much younger than their father. Billy had barely been able to see it himself.

"Fi," he whispered. "Have you considered what's at stake here?" The bad bunny-girl looked up at him with a frown. "Ooo's at stake, Fi," her brother murmured. "Do you know what that means? Not just a few women. Not just a town. Not even somebody's kingdom. The whole flippin' Everything-Burrito. If the Lich beats us, if we go down, then the world dies. Ooo'll be reduced to a barren ball of rock. Even if our mothers _are_ alive in there somehow, he can't let that sway him. Don't you see, that's _why_ the Lich chose to take them. He wanted leverage on dad. The only way to take away that leverage..." "...is to let them die," muttered Fionna. It was a horrible thought, one that left her close to screaming.

Then, as she finished processing that thought, a worse one hit her. Shooting to her feet, she said, "w-we have to stop him!" She wasn't making sense, and Billy said so. "He's going to kill himself," howled Fionna! "That's what his plan is!" He had the bomb. He was going to blow himself up and the Lich with him! Uneasily, Billy rumbled, "I-I'm sure he doesn't mean that, Fi..." "I'm gonna' lose my dad," Fi howled?! Angry as she'd been before, now she was inconsolable. "He took my moms, and now he's gonna' get daddy too!" Billy grabbed her and held her as she cried and cried.

Back at Finn's cabin, Betty had words of her own for the Hero of Ooo. She'd listened to the exchange and realized that there had been things he'd held back from her too. She'd been wondering and worrying at why he was so melancholy and moody. Now she had an idea, and she didn't much like it. Just now, he was sitting on the rough pallet that they'd been laying on, staring into space, looking as though he had given up everything.

"Finn, I don't understand," Betty said. "If there's a chance that Simone and Emeraude..." The big man replied, "the thing I want most in the world would be to see them again. To hold them. To tell them how much I love them both. I think about them every day, Betty." The older woman had learned some valuable lessons about men in general and this one in particular over the preceding months. She well knew that there was a brilliant mind capable of some surprisingly deep thoughts hidden behind that rough facade. "Then why, honey," she asked? It sounded almost plaintive. He wasn't the only one who missed Simone.

He turned to look at her, his blue-blue eyes burning into hers. "I have to be better than that," Finn replied. "With all of Ooo at stake, I can't let myself think of what I want or need. Because that's what _he_ wants. That's why he took them. I... have to let them go." A horrified Betty jumped on him, shouting at him. Finn grabbed her and held her until she began crying. "Finn," she pleaded. "I can't save them, Betty," he murmured. "Not this time. But you can. You can maybe save Emeraude. You can help Fi and the others maybe to save Emeraude." Those words sounded ominous. Stepping back, she demanded, "w-where're you going to be?" With a shrug, Finn said, "I'm'a make sure he doesn't get away."

Horrified, Betty went storming out into the darkness, brushing past her son without even noticing him. As the door banged shut, Patrick stared after his mother in shock. Was she? Was she sleeping with Fi's dad? A part of him was horrified and disgusted by the thought. At the same time, what did he expect? His mother was alone, and they were both a mess. They'd spent _days_ , maybe even _weeks_ cooped up in that awful maze together. And then, at the end of the day, did it really matter. Something had made her upset. He needed to know what it was.

The young man found his quarry pacing in an empty aisle, pulling at her hair and muttering under his breath. Walking up, he took her by the shoulders and spun her around. A startled Betty flushed to her hair as she realized that her son now knew the truth. At the same time, she needed him more than she'd ever needed anyone. Throwing herself on her boy, she cried on him, giving vent to wrenching sobs. In the midst of the tears, he managed to understand just one thing. "I lost Simon and Simone," whined Betty, "and now I'm gonna' lose Finn too..."

 **Almost there. :) Next time: Showdown with the Lich along with Showdown with the Lich.**


	54. Chapter 54

Chapter 54:

"Wake up," whispered the voice.

It was insistent, and it had been nagging at Star Mertens for a while. She'd had an awful night wedged into a nook in the Lich's purloined airplane with her brother surrounded by the Lich's undead minions. She'd dreamed... horrible things. She'd seen men and women undergo horrendous torture. Some seemed to be submerged in a horrid _soup_ of evil. As she finally came swimming up through the darkness, the little woman tried to scream. She'd seen her father in that awful congealed muck. A firm hand over her mouth stopped her.

"Bad, huh," burbled Marshall Lee? He sounded very sad. Looking into his eyes, Star realized his dreams had been no better. On impulse, the little woman hugged her brother and then kissed his cheek. Glancing around her, she found herself at the edge of a forest. "How long," she asked? "Hour," he replied. Standing up, she stretched and checked her gear. Judging by the temperature, she guessed they were in Siberia. That meant they were at Baba Yaga's place. She was ready as she was going to get. It was time to move.

"Follow my lead," said she as she stepped off. Frowning, he asked, "how did _you_ get put in charge...?" "She's not what you'd call _friendly_ , Marshall," Star replied. "I need you on topic, not going off on a tangent..." The Goth Rocker grimaced in distaste. Then, after several long moments of thinking about it, he finally nodded. Star moved on. They needed to track down the witch, but they also needed to find out where boneface was. "Put your phone in peer-to-peer," said Star. "I'm'a hunt for the water spirit. You hunt down boneface." Minutes later, her invisible brother was soaring across the sky. Sliding her phone back in the holster, the young wizard set out on foot to find a woman who did everything she could not to be found.

Over a thousand miles to the west, her siblings had returned to their father's hut, seeking answers. Fionna had spent the time in fruitless speculation. Billy, ever the skeptic, had argued and tussled with her for hours. Try as he might, he couldn't overcome his sister's concerns. What made Fionna's fears all the more corrosive was the damning evidence she had to support her convictions. She reminded him of their father's behavior earlier in the week. He'd been more interested in spending time chatting with them–even talking about Fionna's baby and what they were going to name it–than on getting the army ready to go to war. Finn the Human had spent much of his time rushing around trying to see everyone and touch anyone he knew personally. At the same time, he'd cut them all off with just a little of his time. He went to see his brother, then left just a half-hour after arriving. It was clear to Fionna that their father was saying goodbye to everybody he cared about.

Arriving at the hut in the icy darkness, the two siblings pounded on the door before basically tearing it off its hinges. They found the rough pallet their father had been sleeping on–along with signs that he hadn't been sleeping there alone. There was no sign of the man himself. His clothes–the ones he'd been wearing the previous day–were gone. Billy conjured a light globe and scanned the area. "His pack is gone," muttered the older man. "I'll bet the bomb was in it," muttered Fionna. She'd tried to kick the pack out of her way at one point and ended up swearing because it had been heavy and rather full of _something_. Heading for the door of the hut, she said, "we have to stop him. We have to talk sense into him."

When Billy caught up to her outside, he found his sister staring skyward at something that suggested they were out of time for that. A lone object was soaring high over their heads. The Lich had come out to do battle with them. Billy felt a moment's vertigo. He found himself looking through somebody else's eyes. The last time he'd felt this sensation was the moment his mother took hold of the Ice-Tiara–and the Crown renewed its hold on _her_. The feeling had only lasted a moment then. Now it seemed to go on and on. He felt like he was falling–plummeting–thousands of feet. "Billy," howled Fionna! "What the junk?! What're you doing?" It was then that he realized that he was on his knees and hanging onto Fionna's skirt. "The Ice-Tiara," he babbled. "It's reaching out to me..."

Just then the big man shouted something that was meant as a warning. He was screaming, but no words would come. He found himself falling, wondering if he was ever going to hit bottom. Fionna had no time to spare for her brother and whatever was wrong with him. Just now, with boneface laying waste to the camp, she had to jump into the fight to save their dudes from slaughter. Conjuring her armor, she told her brother, "I'll be back. Sit tight." And then she was rushing after her family's mortal enemy.

The Lich wasn't hard to follow. Just like her father figured, he headed straight for the invasion beach where a small armada of ships sat bobbing in the ocean. It had taken back-breaking effort and a lot of Bonnie's ingenuity to get those ships through the Lich's outer wall. Before Fionna's eyes, the sick fucker began to sink them. The first one was hemmed in on two sides by a pair of instant icebergs. As the two giant chunks of glacial water suddenly sprang into being, they tore the ship's sides with jagged spines, opening the hull to the merciless sea. In short order, the ship was sinking.

Like before, the sick bastard was just having fun–toying with them. He turned to another ship and carefully loaded the topside with ice until it turned turtle–rolling over in the ocean and sinking quickly. He was going to sink every ship there as he could. Feeble blasts of gunfire erupted from the remaining ships. The skeleton crews aboard those ships had been selected from volunteers. They'd known going in that the ships were doomed. In point of fact Fionna's father had _counted_ on that. He'd been counting on the Lich to try sinking every boat there–to kill as many as he could that way and to deprive those who'd gotten ashore a way to escape.

Fionna submerged herself in the dream. The earth was talking to her. Forming shards of glass in either hand, she raced to the top of an icy pinnacle. They'd chosen this spot well. The name of the game was to take away his advantages. He could fly. High as he was, he was close to untouchable for the poor schlubs down on the water or on the land. Except for one thing.

Steel was waiting with her banana-boys when the leggy blonde reached the top of the headland. Camouflaged in white coats and hats, they waited behind walls of sturdy stone faced in ice, courtesy of Fionna's brother. Now, at Fionna's orders, they opened fire with Froyo-Kingdom cannon and captured dart guns. Bombs burst around the Lich, smacking his stolen body around. Fionna winced at every explosion, fearing for her mother's safety. She wanted badly to pull these punches, but there was no other way to force him to the ground–into reach where she could fight him. Her father was right. This had to end here. They couldn't let him freeze the planet. If she had to drive her swords into her own mother's heart, she wouldn't let boneface use the Ice Queen's hands to destroy Ooo.

The Lich found himself buffeted and bracketed by multiple blasts. Slinging freezing blasts of cold, he tried to encapsulate and shatter the fort. To his rage, pinnacles of pure glass rose up, blocking every attempt, nullifying his weapons. The little glass-wizard was back. In the mean-time, he found himself forced lower and lower and then lower still. They didn't try to hit him. They'd learned their lesson and now knew not to bother. They did make it impossible for him to stay aloft. _Fine,_ he thought. _We'll finish this on the ground._

Over three-hundred miles away, Finn the Human sat down in an icy chamber at the bottom of a long, icy passage. It had taken a bit of daring, a lot of physical exertion, and the calling in of a marker to get here. Now he stared up at the strange carvings that the Lich had made in the strange, bottomless cavern he called home. Sitting there looking at the carvings, he reflected on the mind of the madman who'd done all of this and wondered how he could have become so twisted. Things that Baba Yaga let slip suggested that he had been a man much like Finn–devoted to caring for others and uninterested in selfish goals. _So what happened, dude,_ Finn asked the icy darkness. How had his nemesis gone over the edge? Was it love? He'd been in love with the nature-spirit–as madly in love with Baba Yaga as Finn was with Simone.

As he traced the carvings with his finger, the big man reflected on that. He knew love could drive you mad. He'd lived it with Bonnie and Phoebe and Simone and finally with Emeraude and Cherry. Love was a kind of madness. It was a drug that could very quickly overwhelm you. He felt that as keenly as he felt the cold on his skin. As he looked at the strange carvings in the Lich's sanctum, he saw signs of what Simon had talked about. He saw signs of a more recent affliction. There were traces of his wife there. Penguin carvings, suggestive of the madness that had afflicted Simone when the Ice Tiara had taken full control of her mind, lay interspersed with the mad maunderings of the Lich. "Big word, Finn," he sighed. Maunderings was a pretty big word. Was something happening to him? Was _he_ going mad?

"No," murmured Betty. "I don't think you're going crazy, but I do think Nadia's nano-bugs are doing something to your brain." Finn whirled around to find his girlfriend standing there at the entrance to the ice-tunnel he'd come through, dressed in her heavy parka, looking like she'd been crying. A lot. Guessing where his mind was going, she said, "Sheila was worried about you, Finn. She didn't understand why you told her not to wait. She was anxious to make sure you didn't get hurt." Dry chuckle, and the older woman said, "you seem to have that effect on women."

Glancing away, Finn blushed to his hair. "What're you doing here," he asked? With a shrug, Betty replied, "loyalty. It's a lesson I had to relearn. I dumped on my dad. I dumped on my husband and daughter. I'm... If this is how it ends, Finn, I'm here with you. I don't have a kingdom, and Patrick is a man now. But you need me." Finn spun to face her, and she could see the arguments form on his lips. Pressing the tip of a finger to his lips, she said, "I can't bear to see another loved one die, Finn. Not like this. He took my husband. He took my child. I'm... You were right in a lot of ways about me, Finn. I'm not good with death. Especially not this way. I'm... Where you go is where I go." When she threw herself on him, Finn caught her and hugged her.

After several minutes of that, the older woman let go. Taking up the shovel she'd brought, she said, "so... I'm guessing you were planning to bury it." Flushing, Finn said, "I was going to turn it on and hide it... Then... I was gonna' go up and wait on him. Figured he wouldn't be able to resist..." Grimly, she said, "I guess we'll talk about that when we get to Theo's quarry, Finn." Flushing, Finn reminded her, "no cussing and no hitting, or you get added time."

Elsewhere, Star rushed through the strangely vibrant forest, searching for the source of the teeming life around them. She _felt_ the Rusalka. That was the crazy thing about it. Maybe it was the fact that she was part-plant. She had as much relationship to the flora she trod on as she did to her very human father. She could feel a vibrant energy radiating outward from the heart of the forest. It was invigorating, seeming to drive away the fatigue of days spent hungry and cold as she pursued the Lich. At the same time, she could feel a darkness, pushing towards her goal. Inside that festering cloud of evil, she could feel distinct presences. _She can nullify his powers without really thinking,_ Star remembered. But Baba Yaga had been a little afraid of the undead. He was using the undead to flush her from hiding.

Star blundered up on the witch without even realizing it. One moment she was tearing through the jungle. The next, she was snared in a mass of vines and being snatched off the ground. Finding herself hanging upside down, staring into the brown eyes of the Rusalka, the little woman felt a shiver of cold fear. She wasn't in this to get torn to pieces, and she knew this woman was known to kill first and ask questions much later. "Well," murmured the witch. "Twinkle, twinkle, little Star. How very far from home you are..." It didn't take much to reverse the little wizard's terror. Being made fun of had the effect of instantly enraging her.

"I came here to fucking keep the Lich from wringing your scrawny neck," muttered the wizard, "so I'd let me down if I were you." Waving her hand–dropping Star on the ground with a thud–Baba Yaga asked, "how is it Yuri came to be here?" Dusting herself off, Star replied, "kidnaped one of Princess Nadia's people and turned him..." The witch muttered curses. She'd been afraid of that. She'd never taken Andreivich/Yuri to her home. Even when they were an item back before the war, she'd never let Yuri know where she hailed from. Unfortunately, the hero's little gaffe had given her enemy the key to her kingdom. She'd felt something awful at the edges of her awareness, making its way through her domain. Now she knew what it was.

Star's phone rang just then. Drawing it from its holster, she called out, "go..." "It's me," said Marshall. "Bonehead's just dropped the pedal. I think he's zeroed in on where your friend is..." Star could feel the darkness as it changed course. "Yup," she sighed. "He's headed this way." "Who's that," the witch demanded? "My brother," Star replied. "We're gonna' need his help." Stepping off, Baba Yaga asked, "how many of his monsters did he bring?" "Few dozen," Star replied. "Why?" The witch muttered curses. That was a lot. Still, she wasn't going without a fight, and she had been preparing for this for a long time.

The Lich and his entourage of evil were making good progress when the trouble came upon them. One moment they were tearing through the forest, withering anything in their way. The next a horde of ancient, half-rusted relics of the long-forgotten Soviet Union came tearing through their ranks. There were ancient tractors and broken-down bulldozers and even a few heavily modified old Ladas. Yuri stopped stock still as the metal creatures tore into his army. At first he feared the cyborg woman had done this. It almost fit the pattern. Then a long lost memory surfaced.

The evil creature _remembered_. He'd taught Talia how to work on cars. It was for one of those endless cheesecake magazines she posed for. She was supposed to get dolled up in shorts and a tee-shirt like a man and get photographed pretending to fix cars. He'd insisted she actually learn the skill, and he'd brought her out to his brother's garage and taught her. While he was going on a trip down memory lane, his minions were getting the worst of things. The suddenly-animate remnants of a dead culture weren't just mobile. They had a surprising power over his undead. Skeletons and zombies they struck went down with only a glancing blow. Even the Dipped seemed to have trouble with Talia's automatons. It was only when one of his minions shouted a warning that he shook off his surprise.

The youth dove out of the sun and very nearly managed to tag him. Instead a wall of sickly yellow-brown vines came up and blocked him. The dark-haired wraith bounced off and immediately dove for cover. The Lich scanned the scene around him. Who was that little bastard? Taking control once more, the evil being reached out to corrupt the riotous growth, causing rough weeds and prickly grass to rise up and snare the vehicles. That let his undead pry the cabs open, revealing the strange clinging vines that ran riot inside each one. One by one, he brought them all to a halt–all save the heavy bulldozer which managed to tear itself free and escape.

Back on the ice, the tall figure of the Ice Queen stopped where she was and stood staring into space a moment. Fionna took full advantage, as she sent a stone column erupting from the ground. The massive chunk of stone clipped the Ice Queen's chin, knocking her flat on her back. More stone piers tried to rise up and box in her foe. Shaking off the stupor, the Lich sent an icy shockwave through the closest wall, cracking it in half and giving him an escape. This little bitch was becoming a dangerous distraction. Indeed, his strategy had been merely to fix his enemies in place while he executed his true plan. Now with active enemies in both places, the plan was in serious jeopardy. He had to get rid of this suka. Fast.

On her side, Fionna was delighted to have dragged this out as long as she had. With her dad and Bill out of the fight, she feared their peeps would get plowed under and fast. As it was, they had lost the skeleton crews on the two boats. _Keep it together, Fi,_ she thought. _Next move. Dad gave you the means to save mom. How you gonna' use it?_ She wasn't sure, but she knew she risked death if she tried to get close.

Back in the frozen Siberian wilderness, Star found herself having to catch Baba Yaga when she would have fallen. "I take it we just lost ground," muttered the wizard. Shaking off the cobwebs, the Rusalka said, "I did some damage, but he's still coming..." Getting a little of herself back, the witch said, "surely you didn't think it would go easy? Come along." Baba Yaga led the way through the woods. As she moved, trees and shrubs moved out of her way, causing Star to whistle. That sure came in handy. Finally, after ten or twenty minutes of often vigorous hiking, they came to a spot deep between two steep, tree-shrouded cliffs. "Prepare yourself," said the witch. Star could feel them coming.

Momentarily, hundreds of skeletons and dozens of assorted zombies came rushing into view. As Star goggled in shock, Baba Yaga merely shrugged and said, "Yakutsk is a charnel ground and home to only the forgotten dead. Once these folk were under my protection and my mother's before that." That had changed the day the bombs fell. In her attempt to protect her neighbors, she'd instead sowed the seeds of their destruction. "No time for tears, Talia," she whispered. Reaching out to the land, she spoke to the trees and grasses. As the undead converged on her, she shouted, "run, Star! Run!" The two women tore out of the gap. Star heard and _felt_ the ground shake and rumble. And then the two massive tenements that had hidden under a thousand year accumulation of river-silt and debris collapsed onto the undead, crushing them by the thousands.

Elsewhere, Finn the Human made it to the top of the Lich's icy pinnacle to find... nothing. Helping Betty up onto the icy spire, he stared eastward in puzzlement. "Whassa'matter, honey," Betty asked? "I expected to find him here," Finn replied. With a smirk, Betty replied, " _maybe_ our kids are better than you thought, babe. You _did_ train them..." Finn flushed. That hit a little close to home. He'd been sure rescuing Simone while fighting the Lich was a futile gesture. Stroking his back, Betty asked, "still think blowing yourself and Simone up to get that cocksucker is the best play?"

Finn flushed. "For the record," he replied, "I'm not here 'cause I wanted to be..." "I know," she sighed. Her hubby had a whole string of reasons to live. Those reasons came with names like Cole and Van and Roseline. Unfortunately they gave him just as many reasons to die. He still had no idea how this was going to turn out. Heavy sigh, and Betty admitted, "they still might lose. I guess... Do we stay here? In case..." "Yeah," he said. Sitting down, she once again thought of their baby. She wanted so badly to talk about names. She didn't want to carry this secret to her grave. At the same time, with so much at stake, she knew this wasn't the time for distractions.

Indeed, the Lich was also doing some calculations of his own. He'd lured them here to the ice. He'd intended to bring Finn and all his insipid family here to the ice where he could take his time, lure them in, and hold them in place. The whole point of the exercise was to fix them while his other half located the doomsday bomb and set it off. Instead, he was out here on the ice fighting this nasty little bitch and her friends. _I should be back in my lair,_ he thought. He should have made them come to him. The risk-to-reward ratio was far off on this deal. "Alright, suka," he growled. "You win. You can have your boats and your lapdogs." The Lich began to fly once more.

Fionna knew that if she let him go, her family's mortal enemy would fly back to his lair–where her father was waiting with his finger on the trigger of a massive bomb. That bomb would destroy two of her parents. She needed to keep this bastard here. She needed to do whatever it took. Shedding her helmet, she shouted, "you turning chickenshit, jerk?" Yuri stopped right where he was. She was the front line. Her dad was the backstop. As long as her father was waiting on the Lich at his lair, there was a chance here. They didn't have to be afraid of doing whatever they wanted to stop this guy. They always had an ace up their sleeves. _I can do this, dad,_ Fionna thought. _Just watch me._

"What did you call me," he demanded? "Chickenshit," growled Fionna! "You're a chickenshit! You didn't have the balls to face my dad for the Enchiridion. You had to send a fucking bear to do your dirty work. Dad would have sent your ass packing again if you weren't picking on his family." Eyes blazing, the Lich swooped at Fionna. She could feel him chilling the very air around her. That was when the lightning bolt slammed into him, knocking him out of the sky. The Lich/Simone landed in a heap a hundred yards away as Patrick said, "sorry I'm late, babe." He'd been involved in a futile search for his mother. "She not here," asked Fionna? Flushing, Patrick admitted, "I think she went to try and talk sense into your dad." He wasn't sure just yet how he felt about their strange new relationship, but right now it didn't matter. They needed to save Ooo.

"Remember the plan," said Fionna, as she rushed towards where their mortal enemy was recovering his wits. As the Lich gathered himself to his feet, Fionna raced past. The evil bastard ineffectually hurled ice-bolts and freezing blasts at her, but she was too quick. Patrick smacked him from behind, slamming him with quarter-strength blast-bolts that picked him up and tossed him a dozen feet at a time. That got the Lich's attention focused back on Patrick, who immediately went defensive as his girl circled back. Throwing up walls of ice and conjuring frozen shields out of thin air, the Ice King's son did his best to reflect the Lich's wrath. Just as the Lich was starting to get through his defenses, Fionna came back and cold-cocked him with a diamond-hard fist that knocked the spit out of his mouth.

 _Not bad, suka,_ thought the Lich, _but there's one problem with your plan. I'm not trying to keep_ you _alive!_ The leggy blonde raced out of reach, but the Lich was already searching for the boy. As Patrick Petrikov tried to put himself in position for his next attack, the Lich raised a barrier of ice to block his blast-bolts and then brought a storm of razor-sharp ice shards down on Patrick's position. Patrick screamed in pain, causing Fionna to stop in mid stride. The Lich hurled a massive column of ice at her. The heavy slab of frozen water caught her at waist height and sent her tumbling ass-over-elbows across the landscape. The banana-boys returned to the fray then, laying down covering fire as Patrick fought the deadly storm that swirled around him. "Time for you fuckers to go," said the Lich. Gesturing with one slim finger, he brought an avalanche of snow cascading down on top of the gun position above him, burying the nuisance alive.

Back in the wilds of Siberia, Star found herself in a running battle with the Lich's army of lost souls. The witch had flattened the nuisance undead, crushing them beneath those two old buildings, but the more dangerous creatures–including many Dipped–were still out there. "Ya zdes', chtoby zastavit' vas umeret', suku," shouted the Lich! Ducking behind a tree, Star turned to the witch and asked, "what'd he say?" "Not flattering," muttered the Rusalka. Stepping out, she hurled a mote of light at one of the Dipped. When it touched the undead, it burst into stunning incandescent light that seemed to dissolve the thing. "Nitstsa, Talii, no etogo nedostatochno. Vy potratili vse svoi tryuki, ne vy," laughed the Lich. "We blast his guys, and he jokes," grumbled Star, as she lit up a second Dipped with one of her spell-darts? "Does nothing get through to this bastard?" Then the two were in full flight once more.

Onesie-twosie, they were knocking the undead down, but there were so many they couldn't stand and fight very long without simply getting swarmed. Here in this forest, they had the cover of the trees to let them get close. The Lich was herding them, and they both knew it. His undead had kept up a relentless pressure. As one group charged, another group was moving to flank them–or worse, circling around behind them. It kept the witch from making effective use of the defenses she had staged around her forest. By the time Baba Yaga had something ready, the undead had pushed them past it.

Finally the witch stopped right where she was. Though she hardly looked winded, she said, "we stop here." Star gave her a look that suggested she'd lost her mind. There were still a dozen or more Dipped out there. "This is what he wants," muttered Baba Yaga. "This is the place he seeks." Star glanced around her. This place looked little different than the rest of the forest. The only difference was the cave behind them. "Your house," Star asked? "Hardly," retorted the witch. "I prefer the penthouse." "What's the plan," asked Star? Reaching into a thicket, Baba Yaga drew out what appeared to be an ancient gun, its stock and grip gone worn and grey. "We fight, Star," said the witch as she quoted, "out of fuel, a pillbox. Out of ammunition, a bunker. Out of time, heroes..."

Back on the ice, the lithe form of Simone the Ice Queen alit beside her daughter. Conjuring a blade of glacial ice, the Lich grabbed Fionna by the hair and prepared to slit her throat. "Bye-bye, suka," sneered the evil being. "Not yet," hissed another voice. Billy the Human gestured with his left hand, raising the icy deluge off the little fort atop the cliff. Gesturing again with both hands, he brought the heavy ice crashing down towards the Lich, forming a glacial wall at the last minute. The Lich darted out of the way. "The leak," he growled. "I'd sensed someone stealing from me. Tell me. How is it you're able to do that?" "Born this way," hissed Billy in a strange tremulous version of his normal voice.

Groggy, Fionna fought her way up through the cobwebs in her mind as her brother dueled the Lich over her battered body. The crystals had taken the brunt, but it had still hurt like a bastard. She couldn't remember a time when she'd taken a hit like that. _Maybe that time I got sacked in the finals,_ she thought. Clambering to her feet, she shook her head and searched for Patrick. Her hubby was on his knees and bleeding, looking much the worse for wear. "Fionna," hissed Billy. "Do we continue?" It was sort of Billy's voice, but Fionna was rather concerned about the way he sounded. Still, she needed the help. With Billy on the job, she thought maybe they could finish this. "Let's do this," she said, as she gathered the crystals around her again. Patrick stumbled his way into position, saying, "on three?" "Yeah," said Fionna. "Three..."

The trio launched their attack simultaneously, with Billy turning waves of jagged glacial ice on the Lich, Patrick hurling lightning, blast-bolts, and everything else he could think of, with Fionna going toe-to-toe. Darting back and forth, circling the Lich, the trio did their best to wear down his defenses, shattering his ice-shields, cracking his ice-armor, and getting close enough to clip and rip fragments of cloth off the tattered dress Simone had been wearing. The explosive assault looked for a long few moments as though it was working. The Lich got knocked down and then knocked down again. That was when Fionna made the costly mistake of hesitating.

As she rushed in to score one more blow, she found herself wondering if she should try the doohickey. She had it in her pocket, ready to go, and she certainly didn't want to _kill_ her mom. She just needed the right moment to try and strike with the Wolf's cure. The Lich, sensing her hesitation, twisted just enough to duck the blow coming his way. Fist coated in solid ice, the evil being bashed the pretty blonde in the side of the head hard enough that she felt it through her crystal helmet. Fionna went down, skidding across the ice like a runaway hockey-puck. Moments later, the Lich knocked down Patrick, encasing him in a cylinder of ice strong enough to kill him should he try one of his blasting spells.

"I can sense you, boy," said the Lich, as he stalked towards Fionna. "I can sense you... _losing_. The Crown has you, doesn't it?" Billy said nothing as the Lich approached his sister. Turning to Fionna, the evil monster growled, "surrender, suka. This is the end of the line for you." "Got too much to live for," wheezed the bad bunny. "Oh," said the Lich? Gesturing towards Patrick, he offered, "I can kill that fool boy, eh? Then you'd not have as much..." "Got my baby to live for, jerk," Fionna growled.

Back in Siberia, the Lich was closing fast on his quarry. He could see Talia waiting on him just ahead. He recognized what she had in her hands instantly. "Kalashnikov," he asked? "Tak Gollivud. Yest' li yeshche ogon'?" "It works well enough," she replied. Arrogantly, the Lich retorted, "ne protiv moyego nezhit'yu." "Let's see," said the witch, as she leveled the ancient rifle and opened fire. As Star watched in awe, the strange _bullets_ the gun fired burst in blinding light, shredding any of the Dipped that they struck. Of course, that was the problem. Baba Yaga was a fairly rotten shot. Three Dipped went down in the fusilade before the gun ran dry. The rest scattered in a panic until the fateful 'click'.

"Well, we're in it now," said Star as she began hurling blast-bolts and darts at the remainder. The pair put their backs to each other and fought on as the Lich howled laughter. Talia grit her teeth as he offered helpful advice like 'front sight, milaya' and 'you're loading it wrong'. Yuri had been a sexist _pig_ when she met him. The intervening centuries hadn't helped that in the least. Just as things looked their darkest, with the witch's gun empty with no more magazines to load into it and Star flat out of darts and ideas, the Lich suddenly stopped right where he was and clutched at his head. "Stop it, you dva chertovy suki," howled the Lich! "Takim obrazom, malen'kaya shlyukha pregnant! What difference does it make?! YA polozhit' konets miru!"

Back on the ice, the world stood still as the Lich tottered there over Fionna. Grabbing at his/her head, the Lich muttered curses and unintelligible words that sounded a lot like Grid-Person speech to Fionna's ears. _I got through,_ she thought. Her hand went to her pocket. It was time to try a little more and see where this led. "Mom," pleaded Fionna. "Don't you want to see your grandchild?" "You're going to die, little bitch," growled the Lich as he bent down to slice her throat! "You and the little bastard inside you!" Far from being terrified, Fionna only smiled. Reaching up, she slapped the device against her mother's temple, announcing, "gotcha!"

In Siberia, the Lich stopped right where he was. The world seemed to hold its breath a moment. That was when the lithe, dark form came diving out of the sun. This time there was no wall of vines. This time Marshall Lee executed a perfect turn at the last minute before slapping the Witch-Doctor's gadget on the back of Emeraude Mertens's head. The Lich screamed in agony, the vines writing and flailing. Star grabbed Baba Yaga by the scruff and dragged her bodily out of the way as the vines tore up the forest.

The Vampire King dove on the first Dipped he saw–a curvy thing that looked to have once been a woman. Arms outstretched, he slammed fist-first into the creature, causing it to squeal in agony. Whispering words of utter darkness that dribbled into his mind from the font of evil near his heart, the Vampire King drained the unlife from the evil monstrosity, causing the oily black glob to dissipate like smoke on the wind. As the undead stared in shock, he darted towards another, destroying it just as easily. In short order, a panic had started there in that once-beautiful forest. The undead fled as if the unholy Lord of the Night-O-Sphere himself was pursuing them. Indeed, Marshall Lee tore out of there in hot pursuit.

When the Vampire King had gone, Star came out of Baba Yaga's mystery-cave to find her mother laying there in a heap on the ground. As the little woman approached, Emeraude Mertens raised her head with agonizing slowness. "My baby," she moaned, as Star knelt before her. "Rest, momma," said Star as she stroked the older woman's battered face. Emeraude lay her head down and was still. The Rusalka came out then, saying, "who was the man?" "My little brother," said Star. Grinning, she added, "the King of Vampires." Frowning, Baba Yaga glanced in the direction he'd gone. "He's kind of a jerk-face," said Star, "but he's still my little brother." "Come, Star," said Baba Yaga. "Bring your mother. We'll go to my place."

Late that day, the fleet set sail from the icy hell that the Lich had created in the middle of the ocean. Fionna stood at the back of the ship, staring at the distant island. "Cover your eyes, Fi," said Simon. Fionna turned to face her grampa's ghost–just in time, as a colossal flash lit the sky. Shockwaves rumbled across the land and the sea, shaking the boat and throwing up massive waves that, at least for a few moments, threatened to flatten many of the ships of the fleet. Fionna turned back to the island–or what was left of it–and grabbed the railing in horror. "He's ok, punkin," said Simon. "I was able to talk some sense into him. Finally."

As the pair stood there staring back at the island, a shimmering portal opened beside them, and Marceline, the Princess of Darkness, stepped through. "Hey, hey, Simon," she greeted the old man. "Marcy," Simon replied. The evil harridan insisted on hugging the specter. Fionna had no idea why a man as nice as Simon had ever liked that mean old bitch. "I gotta' go, guys," said Simon. "Be good, Fi..." "Will I ever see you again," Fionna asked? "Someday, Fi," replied Simon. "Y-you mean when I'm dead," she burbled. Simon sighed heavily. "I'll help her understand, Simon," Marceline murmured. It was a lie, and they both knew it because Marceline had never really gotten herself to understand losing Simon to the Ice Crown. As Fionna watched while sniffing back the tears that threatened to fall, Simon slowly faded from view, leaving the pair standing there on the stern of the boat.

Wiping away a tear, Marceline turned to Fionna and cleared her throat. "Yeah, yeah," said Fionna, as she handed over the trinket with the Lich's Id inside. "Your dad really is ok," said Marceline. "I saw him. You're... you're gonna' have to be strong for your moms for a while, ok?" "W-why," babbled Fi? "Finn's going to be cleaning up the mess the Lich left," sighed Marceline. She didn't sound very happy about that, making Fionna more than a little worried. "Betty's with him," said the demon-girl. "She's gonna' keep him straight, ok?" With a heavy sigh, Fionna nodded. It wasn't as though she had a great deal of choice here, was there? Conjuring a portal, Marceline stepped through to the Night-O-Sphere and was gone.

Turning away from the railing, Fionna went back inside to find her brother up and out of bed, with Patrick feebly trying to make him lay down again. "What do you think you're doing," she asked? Frowning, Billy asked, "what happened? Where are we?" "On a boat," Fionna replied. "Headed for home." Frowning, the big man asked, "the Lich?" "Gone," replied the bad bunny. "I got him with the Wolf's gadget." Nervously, Billy said, "maybe. There was... Mom was trying to talk to me. I could hear her voice. She was saying something about a bomb." "Daddy just set off the bomb," said Fionna. "He just blew up the island." Shaking his head, Billy replied, "no... She said there was a second bomb. A bigger one. Where Emeraude is..." Fionna shivered in nervous fear for a moment. "Marceline said Daddy's going to clean up the Lich's mess," murmured the young woman. "Maybe that's what she meant." "Maybe," sighed Billy.

Changing the subject, she asked, "what's with your eyes? They aren't blue anymore. They're grey. Like mom's..." "The Ice Tiara," Billy murmured, as he rushed to the nearest piece of glass. Tugging at his cheeks and turning his eyes back and forth best he could, the big man stared at his face in dismay. "Maybe we need to get you to Dr. Wolf too," sighed Fionna. The Lich was gone, but he'd left a whole lot of trouble for them.

In Siberia, Star found herself facing similar fears. They'd taken out the Lich's 'other half', but she feared Simone was still out there, somewhere, under the Lich's thrall, and she had no real way to contact anybody to find out. She didn't know how to fly an airplane, and even with Marshall's help it was going to take them a long time to cross Baba Yaga's wasteland. "You worry too much," murmured the witch, as she led the way up to an ancient elevator in a long-empty building. "No power," rumbled Star, as she carried her mother into the ancient cab. The Rusalka murmured a word, and the elevator began to rise, slowly but surely accelerating until it was traveling as fast as anything Star had seen in civilization. When they reached the end of the shaft, the elevator abruptly slowed down and the door opened, letting out onto a sumptuous apartment.

Staring around her in amazement, Star said, "daddy said you lived in a hut." Tossing her keys on the counter, Baba Yaga snorted, "my mother lived in a hut and was a proud communist all her days. I like nice things." Motioning for the young woman to come along, the witch led the way into a bedroom off her parlor. "It's not much," said she. "I salvaged it from a room on a lower floor." She didn't often have visitors–as in at all. Star lay her mother in the bed and pulled the covers up over her. Following the witch back into the living room, she found herself studying the older woman. "How are you feeling," she asked? "What do you mean," asked the witch? She was frowning when she turned around.

With a shrug, Star said, "you just had to kill your old boyfriend who was trying to have a pack of undead dissolve you." The witch flushed and glanced away. "He wasn't my Yuri," sighed the witch. "Not really. The good man... I think the good man was burned away in the accident. All that was left was his anger." Moving on, she said, "I'll make dinner. I think I have a little meat." Star blushed. Her stomach had made a rather unladylike noise a few minutes ago on the elevator.

As the witch bustled around, putting together some nourishment, Star peppered her with questions about the things she'd done. In a strangely jovial mood, the tall woman actually fired back answers. "My mother was still doing things the way her grandmother did them back when the first Czar took the throne," said the witch. "The who," asked Star? Muttering curses, the witch replied, "before your time. Before the world was reborn. I... thought it made her a less effective steward of the land. So I learned new things."

As they were talking, a thump on the roof announced they had a visitor. Star motioned for her host to keep talking, as she slowly made her way to the balcony. As she was reaching for the sliding door, a familiar figure dropped onto the balcony. Marshall Lee staggered through the doorway, looking ill, and the whites of his eyes had gone a very strange color of purple. "So you are our benefactor," declared Baba Yaga. "Well met, Mr. Abadeer." Marshall groaned something meant to be polite. "Something wrong," asked the Rusalka? "Too much of a bad thing," groaned Marshall. He'd chased the undead for hours, consuming them one by one until none were left.

The Rusalka looked him up and down with her other eyes, finding him alive with evil. Her hackles went up, and she considered retrieving one of her remaining weapons just in case. Just as Star was reconsidering her allegiance to her brother, a knocking at the door announced yet another visitor. "Four in one day," rumbled the witch. "It's almost like the Yakutsk I grew up with." When she opened the door, a beautiful human woman, dressed in a natty black skirt and jacket combo came sauntering in, stiletto heels click-clacking on the worn tile floor. Her sexy figure and wavy dark hair had Marshall Lee staring in spite of the pain as she sauntered up to him carrying an old lunch-pail of all things. "Hey, kid," said Brianna. "Your momma sent me to collect..."

Fumbling in a pocket, the young man came up with the gadget with the Lich's soul inside. As Star and Baba Yaga watched, the demon slipped the device in her pocket. Raising the lunch-pail, she said, "present from your momma, kid. Let's have it... Open wide..." When she opened the pail, Marshall Lee found himself taken with the urge to puke. As the witch and the wizard-girl looked on, he vomited all the ugly that was inside him, emptying himself of the evil he'd been forced to consume. "Glob, that's better," he groaned as he slumped to the ground. Sealing the lid on the lunch-pail, the demon woman said, "well, your momma'll expect regular reports..." Looking up, the vampire asked, "wait... what?" "Your daddy's gone hunting the rest," said Brianna. "Figure you can make up for being a dick to him all those years by helping out a little." Laying the pail on the floor, the beautiful woman turned and sauntered back across the room, her round backside wig-wagging back and forth hypnotically. When she had shut the door, Marshall was still staring.

"Ooo to Marshall," said Star as she waved her hand in front of his face, "who the fuck was she?" "Mom's agent," groaned Marshall, as he gathered himself to his feet. "Shit, I could sure use some red to eat..." "Tenth floor," said the witch, as she laid out the supper she'd been cooking. "Fifty feet down from the elevator. You can't miss it." As Marshall headed down the hall, the Rusalka turned to the little woman beside her and asked, "and you? What'll you do now?" "Get married," murmured Star. "Make babies. Forget all this shit ever happened."


	55. Epilogue

Epilogue:

The cave was just as it had always been when Marshall Lee floated down into the darkness there. Home. He had been anxious to escape it when he was sixteen. He'd been a typical know-it-all teenager, angry and full of himself. He'd had no idea how good he had it with a mom who loved him and people who genuinely cared around him all the time. He knew now. He'd found out what he didn't know and come to an unpleasant appreciation for just how tough life could be.

Settling onto the wooden surface of the deck–a place where he'd spent _hours_ as a kid–the tall man ran his hands along the wall of his former bedroom. Finn and Simon had built that. He'd had no idea growing up. He'd treated both men like losers for the crime of loving him like a son only to find out that he really was Finn's son. He'd never have the chance to thank Simon for all the old man did for him and his mother.

As he stood there reminiscing, the door opened, and his mother came out in the same nasty old housecoat she'd owned for the last ten years. He vaguely remembered she'd only belatedly started wearing one. In the early days, she never covered up in front of him. It was only after he started grabbing girls' butts in school that she began to care. Marshall hardly noticed the change. She was just mom. That was how a kid looked at the world. Now he saw the things he'd missed as he saw his mother with a grown man's eyes.

Tonight, he saw the worry. Tonight, when he looked on her ageless face, he saw profound sadness. "Mom," he breathed. Rushing forward, he hugged her just as she'd always hugged him–like all the demons of hell couldn't tear them apart. That was when he discovered the secret she was hiding under her ratty housecoat. Stepping back, he found her blushing. "I guess stuff's _really_ complicated," Marshall rumbled. "Yeah," she admitted. "How long," he asked? "Couple months," was the reply. The Goth kid said, "you're a little big for two months..." "Twins," she replied.

His jaw hung. Then, teasing, he said, "I guess you caught up to Bonnie..." Blushing furiously, she slugged him in the shoulder. She was still his mom. Marshall laughed and laughed. Interrupting, she asked, "what brings you?" He hefted the ugly lunch-pail she'd taken as a souvenir from Death's rock-quarry. "An installment," Marshall said as she opened the pail. The evil entities inside quavered before her. Inhaling sharply, the Princess of Darkness inhaled those lost souls, emptying the pail of its contents before handing it back.

She couldn't miss the look on his face. "I'm ok, Marshy," she murmured. The tall man grabbed her and hugged her. Softly he murmured, "momma, I'm sorry. I never understood what you had to go through... I treated you like shit. Now I know, and I'm so sorry..." That actually made her cry. "I never wanted this for you," the unhappy mother sobbed. Wiping at her tears, Marshall Lee Abadeer declared, "I made this bed for myself, mom. I did ugly things to make you angry and upset. I _earned_ this karma. Now I'll live with it all my days. When the time comes, I'll be there for you when you want to lay down this burden and rest..." Kissing his mom on either cheek, he took the lunch-pail and turned to go. As he made the cave entry, he said, "I'll give your love to dad... some point when he's not railing Betty." Between gales of laughter, a scandalized Marceline cussed him as he flew into the night.

Elsewhere, Hunson Abadeer stood studying a long putt and cursing his usual bad luck. As Peppermint Butler stood to one side holding the flag for the fifth hole, it appeared the Prince of Darkness was destined to have rather a poor day on the links. He was already four strokes in the hole and having trouble concentrating–and Theo's endless carping wasn't helping. Carefully the ancient being tapped the ball with his putter, sending it rolling up the green to the hole. Usually this was where it all went south. Either he put too much english on the ball, causing it to veer off or he misjudged the strength of his putt causing the ball to come up short or do an in-and-out on the hole. Today it looked like he was right on the money–until the ball circled the rim twice and skipped out.

Giving vent to a few hair-curling oaths that caused demon-spirits to dribble from his lips, the evil being turned to Death and said, "look, Theo, what the fuck you want me to do?! Give him back?! You know I can't!" Theo retorted, "your kid ruined everything! I'm tempted to file a formal grievance!" Hunson rolled his eyes in irritated disgust. They'd already been over this. Eight fucking times they'd gone over this. "At no point did Marcy do _anything_ to break the rules," retorted the Prince of Darkness. "Can you say the same, Theo?" Death frowned in worry. Appearing to people as their loved ones to push them into killing for him was in a gray area. He could demand arbitration on the matter, but he stood a fifty-fifty shot of losing. Would Hunson turn him in? He'd been doing that a lot lately. That could get him in deep doodoo with the other Powers. Moving to his ball, the Lord of Hell said, "drop it, ok? You got outsmarted. Happens sometimes, man." Grudgingly Theo agreed to let it lie, but it was an uneasy sleep, born more from his terror at having the Lord of Hell reveal his duplicity than any real desire for peace.

Meanwhile, a shocked Simone Mertens found herself dealing with the fallout of being the Lich's sock-puppet for a year. The most immediate of those consequences was her pregnant daughter. "How could you do that, Fionna," Simone howled?! "I taught you better than that! I put you on the pill!" "Aw, mom," groaned the the pretty teen. " _You_ did it!" Simone retorted, "I was also _crazy_ , Fionna **!** Are you telling me you've lost your mind?!" Fionna sputtered and spluttered as she tried to counter that accusation. Drew Princess almost howled laughter. She would have if she weren't looking at something worrisome. Walking out on the hospital room's small balcony behind Emeraude, the beautiful doctor said, "penny for your thoughts..." The wood-nymph glared at her, but Drew held her ground.

Voice cold, Emeraude said, "maybe I'm thinking of beating your ass for fucking my husband." Drew chuckled, "if you'd been thinking of that, I'd have been dead before this." "It doesn't matter," the wizard murmured. "Yeah," said Drew, "it does..." Taking a deep breath, the doctor told her patient and friend, "I was going to take Simone to see a counselor tomorrow. I'm thinking maybe you should come too..." "Great," grunted the wood-nymph. "The cunt that's been fucking my husband wants to help me..." "Emeraude," Drew called as she put her left hand to the nymph's left shoulder. The little woman jerked away, but Drew had been prepared for that. With her other hand, she grabbed Emeraude's right arm and spun her around.

Emeraude burst into tears as the doctored hugged her. "I killed Simone's dad," wailed the wood-nymph. Drew knew some of what had happened. She'd heard bits and pieces of the story from Finn and the other women in his life. When she heard that the pair had, against all odds, been rescued, she'd more or less been expecting them both to be wrecks. They were all of that. Different ways, maybe, but both women were profoundly disturbed.

Drew knew what ailed Simone. The Ice Queen felt that she had somehow _created_ this situation by trying to help her father. She was feeling the strain of having left home and figuratively dropped her family, which was feeding into a lot of really ugly guilt right now. Drew had fixes for that. She wasn't quite sure what she was going to do with this, though. She didn't know how to help Emeraude when she hadn't idea the first how that even _felt_. _We're in this together, though,_ she thought. They'd all made themselves a part of this–some literally forcing their way in.

Drew had been ambivalent about this from the start, even with all the history she shared with Finn. She'd over-thought it and honestly come very close to missing the chance fate held out to her until he'd _made_ her rethink things. Finn had given her the ultimate gift, and in the process, he'd shown her that the honest love of long time friends could become so much more if she let it. And that was her opening. He wasn't able to give her much right now. He couldn't give any of them much at all besides the love and loyalty that had driven him to walk out into the wilderness on a mad errand. According to Marceline he was out 'handling the Lich's leftovers' with Betty. _But we have each other,_ thought the doctor as she held onto one of her oldest friends as the little woman cried and cried and cried.

As she worked her way down through the last of that chain of thoughts, the taller woman had a mad little epiphany. They had each other. That was her answer. Before all of this, Simone and Emeraude had had each other's backs, but now they had more love and support than they'd ever had before. "No," she whispered. "You didn't murder poor Simon, Emeraude. You tried to save a beloved friend and ended being abused. I know you're hurting. Nobody should have to see that much less _feel_ it so intimately the way you did, but we're going to make this better..." She glanced up to find a very concerned Simone standing there in the doorway looking worried. "We're going to get through this together," Drew murmured. "We're more than friends. We're family now."

 **Like to thank everybody who stuck it out this far. I hope the ending was worth the wait. I've got one more of these in store, and I do hope you will join me in a few weeks for Crown of Ooo, the final story of the cycle. I promise to work on my pacing. Scout's honor.**


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